A/N: Here we are again! Now that all that nasty fighting's out of the way, it's time for more inner contemplation and pointless bickering. Yay! This chapter features one of the few plot ideas that stayed with the fic from its first inception until now, which is really saying something since I'm so incredibly fickle. And thanks once again to all you wonderful readers/reviewers! It really does mean a lot.
Disclaimer: If Kung Fu Panda were really my property all of the characters would hate each other. However, it belongs to Dreamworks.
Chapter 16: You Can't Make an Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs
Shifu stared down at his breakfast, suppressing a disappointed sigh. Lin had been unconscious since the bandit attack the day before, which had left him to cook for himself and Tai Lung. And, unfortunately, the ingredients that Lin normally kept stocked in the pantry only made sense together in her unusual mind, which left him rather stumped as to what to make. His general confusion had resulted in an overabundance of rice dishes, including his current meal of rice porridge. He shook his head as he took a bite of it; even Lin's rice porridge was infinitely better than he could ever hope to make it.
Still, there were other reasons he was impatiently waiting for her to regain consciousness. First, there were all the questions he had for her, most of which he had a feeling would go unanswered. For instance, he wondered why it was that she constantly kept knives on her person- perhaps it was a habit bred from traveling, since many areas were infested with dangerous bandits such as the ones they faced. Or maybe it was just something that cooks tended to do, though he doubted it. He was also keen to find out exactly where that burst of strength had come from; it seemed unlikely that she had had any form of physical training in the past, though her constant ineptitude could just all be an act. Then, of course, there was the question of her undeniable connection to Shangba, and the connection that he suspected she had to Shanghai.
There was something else that bothered him, as well. Mainly, his own feelings about the recent events. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he had been genuinely worried about Lin, even frightened, as much so as he'd been for Tai Lung- though at least he knew that his son could handle himself in a fight, for the most part. Lin's fighting was sloppy at best, easily overcome by anyone with even a smidgen of proper training. And, despite every instinct he had railing against it, he had made the decision to stop worrying. In order to do that, he would need to enable her to fight her own battles (properly, anyway). He would teach her kung fu.
Just thinking about what Lin would be like as a student sent a shiver down his spine, but it would put him at ease if she at least knew the basics, and to be honest she had shown some true potential, aside from her ridiculous antics. With her resourcefulness, determination, and high threshold for pain, she could perceivably become a rather good fighter- with the right training of course. And a lot of time.
Besides all of that, he felt as though he owed her. She had put her life in danger for the sake of his son (although she had been rather gung ho about the whole affair) and the best way he knew how to show his gratitude was by teaching her kung fu. So, no matter how much she whined and poked fun at him, he would forge ahead.
"Good morning, Master." Tai Lung interrupted his rumination, sitting down at the table, where some rice porridge was already waiting for him. He scooped some up into his spoon and dropped it back into the bowl, watching with an air of distinct disappointment as it fell back into the bowl. "Did you check on Lin?"
"Yes, and she's still out." He tried to suppress his annoyance at the reference to his obvious limitations in the kitchen, and he didn't even want to think of what Lin would say once she found out that he'd been filling in for her.
"What're we gonna do when she wakes up?" The question was innocent enough, but a little disarming.
"Wh-what?" Shifu was caught off-guard. He wasn't quite sure what the question was in reference to, though the first thing that came to mind was her injured arm.
"I mean... Will she be able to cook?" Though it was probably not intentional, Tai Lung was once again indirectly insulting Shifu's cooking.
"She'll be fine," he huffed, leaning back in his seat. "I will see to that," he added.
"What's that mean?" Tai Lung finally sucked it up and took a huge bite of the porridge, chewing thoughtfully.
"She will be a fellow student of yours," he clarified, assuming that the reaction to such news could only be pure happiness and excitement.
Tai Lung, however, spat his porridge out across the table. "What?"
"You are unhappy with these new arrangements?" Shifu kept his cool, calmly taking a bite of his own breakfast, though inside he was filled with smug laughter.
"No, it's not that, it's just..." He paused, apparently thinking over the wisdom of his next words, but then shook his head and continued. "Well, wouldn't teaching Lin kung fu be kinda like torturing yourself, Master? I mean... I wouldn't want you to, y'know..." He trailed off, turning his eyes down to his porridge and shrugging.
"Go ahead," Shifu prompted. "Whatever you say, I won't be angry." Or rather, he wouldn't actually reveal his anger.
"I just wouldn't want you to... Have a nervous breakdown. Or anything." Tai Lung shot him a nervous smile, then ducked his head and began shoveling porridge in his mouth, presumably to avoid embarrassing himself further.
"Ah, I see," was all that Shifu could manage in response. To be honest, his son had a good point: Lin was enough to handle only a couple of hours per day. Teaching her kung fu would be like repeatedly banging his head into a wall- one covered in sharp spikes. And poison ivy. And salt. "I will be fine," he concluded, with less conviction than he would have liked.
The conversation lapsed into awkward silence, as it often did between them. The only sounds that accompanied their meal were the noises they each made as they chewed, which actually was grating a bit on Shifu's nerves. He decided that a conversation, even an awkward one, would be preferable. If he could just think of something to talk about.
"So... Uhm..." He searched for a topic to breach, but as usual he was stumped. "How did your trip go?" he settled on. "Before the... You know."
"Oh, it was good, I guess." Tai Lung seemed to relax a bit as it became obvious that he wasn't about to be punished or snapped at; he was also probably still relieved that he hadn't gotten into trouble since the previous day for getting involved in such a fight to begin with. "Lin told me about girls," he commented lightly.
Shifu coughed on his own saliva at that, completely floored- Tai Lung was far too young to be discussing such things, and in any case it was certainly not Lin's place to teach him. "What did she tell you?" He didn't mean to sound snappish, but it was Lin they were talking about.
"That if I showed any sign of weakness they would devour me alive like so many hungry locusts." Tai Lung shrugged, looking somewhat confused.
"Oh," Shifu breathed, relieved that she hadn't discussed what he thought she had. "Okay. That sounds about right."
"So girls are all like Lin, then?" he asked innocently, furrowing his brow.
"Eh?" Shifu blinked at him in surprise at that; as far as he knew, Lin was nothing but kind to Tai Lung.
"Well, it's what she does to you," he pointed out.
"Ah, yes. That." He paused, shocked and embarrassed that Tai Lung had been so observant of his behavior with Lin. "Be that as it may, there is no reason to be afraid of girls. They are... Well... How do I put it?" He attempted to think of some kind of wise phrase that Master Oogway would say in such a situation, but settled on something a bit more conventional. "You can't live with them, but you can't live without them."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tai Lung raised his eyebrows, waiting expectantly for a concise and coherent answer.
Shifu, however, was not quite ready for such an explanation. "You will understand when you are older."
He responded to this with a long, blank stare before a small smile tugged at his lips. "Master, does that mean that you can't live without Lin?"
The significance of such a jab was not lost on Shifu. "No. It means that you are going to complete forty laps around the entire grounds by lunch time."
Tai Lung let out a loud groan, the likes of which would never have come from him in response to a punishment before Lin's arrival.
He fixed his son with a disapproving glare, crossing his arms. "I suggest you get started."
Tai Lung stood heavily from his seat, as if he were exhausted at the mere thought of carrying out the deed, though he had faced such punishments before. "Yes, Master." The reply was laced with more than a little trepidation, but it was followed by a respectful bow.
As Shifu watched him go to complete his punishment, he shook his head at how Tai Lung's attitude had changed since meeting Lin. While it did indeed bother him to no end that his son was taking cues from someone other than himself, it wasn't mere jealousy that caused his concern. While Lin did have her good points (though he would endure the greatest tortures on earth before admitting so out loud), she was hardly a role model for a young kung fu student. Her flippant attitude toward authority and completely chaotic personality were only the beginnings of her shortcomings.
He sighed to himself and stood up to clear off the table and wash the dishes. He would need to have a long, and very detailed talk with Lin when she finally awoke. And, hopefully, he would come out of it unscathed.
Lin blinked her eyes open, a bright light shining in her face. She wasn't sure why there was light streaming into the room, because her room didn't have a window. That was when she realized that she wasn't actually in her room, and felt her heart stop. She tried to jump up, to escape from wherever she was as quickly as possible, but was stopped short by her injuries. "Ah!" She yelped at the pain that shot down her right arm, straight to her hand. "Oh, no," she groaned, staring down at her bandaged wrist and elbow; she was right-handed. "No, no, no!"
"She's awake!" Tai Lung bounded into the room, peering at her injured arm. "How ya feeling?"
"Not as good as you, I guess," she grumbled, rubbing at her sore shoulder. She had realized upon Tai Lung's arrival that she was in some spare room of the barracks, and that her panic had been misplaced.
"You were so cool yesterday!" Tai Lung took a few steps back and started reenacting the previous day's events with energetic punches to the air and several leaps across the room. "I didn't think you had it in you, but then you threw that table with one arm, and oh man you were like a beast and the bandits were all 'Huh?' and you were all, 'GRAAHHH!' and then Master Shifu was like-"
"That's enough," she interrupted. "I was there, I remember what happened." She especially remembered how idiotic she'd been, putting her right side in a vulnerable position to begin with. Now her right arm was pulsing and throbbing with pain, and she was barely able to move it at all. If she had to guess off-hand, she would say that she was definitely covered in bruises (in more places than just her arm) and that one or more tendons in her arm had ruptured. Her wrist appeared swollen as well, and she gently gave it a squeeze with her left hand, wincing at the pain. Judging by the tightly dressed bandages that had been wrapped around her wrist and elbow, she'd guess that it was just a sprain. "Who did this?" she asked; it occurred to her that she should probably thank whoever had dressed her wounds.
"Tai Lung and I did." Shifu stepped into the room, carrying a piece of white cloth with him. "Good morning." He had a frown firmly planted on his face, his brow furrowed in a show of obvious suspicion. In other words, he looked relieved. "How do you feel?"
"Like I got thrown through a wall." She eyed the piece of cloth in his hand with a growing feeling of dread. "What's that?"
"Ah, yes. You're um... Going to need this." He seemed reluctant to give her a straight answer.
"Eh?" She didn't see what she would need a rag for, though she did have a worst case scenario in mind.
"It's a sling," he finally answered.
"A sling?" Her mouth fell open as she stared at the cloth in absolute horror. Of course the worst case scenario would be the correct one. Of course she would need a sling, because this was the kind of horrible thing that happened to her when she got involved with other people. "What does that mean? Does that mean I can't use my arm for anything? Like at all?"
"You shouldn't, no." He sat down next to her and attempted to help her put the sling on, but she grabbed it and flung it across the room.
"I don't need a sling." She knew that she would have to put it on eventually, but it made her feel better to make a scene.
Shifu rolled his eyes at her. "Tai Lung, please get that."
Tai Lung bowed and did as he was told, which earned him a glare from Lin. He gave her an apologetic look as he handed the sling back to Shifu, then sat down on her other side.
"Hold still," Shifu instructed firmly, and attempted to put her arm in the sling again.
"No," she grumbled, wrapping herself in her sheets. "I don't need a sling."
"Yes, you do," he growled back through clenched teeth.
"I been through worse." She eyed the rag as if it were an explosive. "Besides, I won't be able to do anything with a sling on!" She cringed to think of how inept she was at anything when her left hand was involved.
"Yes you will!" Shifu's eye twitched a bit at that.
"Like what? I can't thinka anything. What'm I supposed to do with a sling on?" She couldn't keep the note of despair from creeping into her voice. After all, her right arm and hand were her livelihood, and without the use of them... She honestly didn't know what she was going to do.
"Whether you wear a sling or not, your arm is stilled injured," he snapped back. "You won't be able to use your arm either way, but at least it will heal correctly if you wear a sling."
She knew that there was no point in arguing with the logic, so she reluctantly pulled the sheets off of herself and submitted to Shifu's attempts to put the sling on her. "Y'know, you could be a little gentler with that," she criticized, mostly out of frustration at her current predicament.
"Would you like me to get a medical degree?" he shot back.
"Yes," she grumbled.
He snorted at that. "You must be in real pain if you actually pronounced the 'S.'"
Lin just grunted in response; her sense of humor was somewhat dampened by the situation. "I'm right-handed, y'know. As in, I don't use my left hand a whole lot." As in, she was screwed.
"I'm sure you'll adapt," he replied evenly, leaning closer to her to tie a knot in the fabric at her shoulder.
She felt a blush beginning to form on her cheeks and frowned at her own reaction. "I want the day off." She knew that she sounded childish, but she didn't care. She needed time to try to "adapt," as Shifu had put it.
"Well, that depends on what you mean by a day off. You won't be cooking today- you'll be my student." He finished tying her sling with a sharp tug, his expression completely sincere.
Lin made absolutely no attempt to hide her horrified expression. After a few moments of completely dead silence, she answered. "No."
"You have no choice." He stood up and crossed his arms behind his back, the usual stance he took when he was trying to be authoritative. "I will expect you to be in the Training Hall along with Tai Lung in twenty minutes. I trust you will not be late." He walked out of the room after that, completely ignoring the face she was making at him.
"Ouch," Tai Lung spoke up the moment Shifu had left the room. "Sorry. But look at the bright side, at least I'll be there with you."
"Does he really think I'm gonna learn kung fu?" Lin asked, still staring at the doorway in absolute disbelief of what had just happened. "Like, seriously?"
"Well you did hold a crocodile's mouth closed," he replied, bouncing with excitement. "It was so cool, Lin, you have no idea."
"Didn't I already tell you it's easy to hold their mouths closed? It's not that big of a deal, and it definitely doesn't qualify me for kung fu training." She would have crossed her arms if she didn't have one of them in a sling. "He's delusional, is what he is."
"Or lonely," Tai Lung replied, then leaned in close and lowered his voice. "I'm pretty sure you're his best friend," he whispered conspiratorially.
Lin furrowed her brow at that, extremely doubtful of the claim. "I thought that was Oogway."
"But Oogway's his master," he pointed out matter-of-factly. "You can't be best friends with your master."
Which she supposed would make her next in the running. "...That's just pathetic."
"Like you should talk. Your best friend is seven." He shot her a smug grin at that.
"What makes you think you're my best friend?" she teased, and gave him a punch in the arm. She smiled when Tai Lung laughed, and it dawned on her then that even if she could go back in time and redo their encounter with the bandits a million times over, she would still protect him as mindlessly and fiercely as she had the first time. Perhaps even more so than she had the first time.
"Anyway, we should head over to the training hall. When Master Shifu says 'twenty minutes' he means 'ten.'" Tai Lung stood up, a small smile still on his face. "I can't believe you're actually gonna learn kung fu."
"Not if I can help it," she replied resolutely, pushing herself to her feet with a low grunt. Her legs felt rather weak and rubbery, most likely from her having been passed out for some time. "How long was I out, anyway?"
"About a day," he replied, sounding rather relieved at that. "Master Shifu and I just had lunch, and I was coming to check on you. Anyway, c'mon!" He was obviously happy to finally have a fellow student around, and bounded out of the room with more energy than she'd ever seen him exude.
As she headed after him, she felt something distinctly uncomfortable on her rear end, and despite Tai Lung's insistence that she hurry up she stopped to check. She shoved her left hand down the back of her pants, and to her complete surprise found a bandage directly on her left cheek. "Hey!" she called after him. "Who the hell was touching my ass?"
Shifu waited in the training hall for Lin and Tai Lung, steeling himself for what was to come. He thanked every deity and spirit he could think of that at least most of the day was over already, and there would only be time for a few hours of training before dinner. He eyed the various devices in the training hall, wondering if Lin would even dare go near anything aside from the Adversary and perhaps the Jade Tortoise of Wisdom. Although, as he stared contemplatively as the large jade bowl, he suspected that she would see it more as some sort of giant toy, rather than a training device. Or perhaps she would view it as a nice place for a nap. The jade did tend to be pleasantly cool on a hot day, not that he had ever entertained such a notion himself.
As if on cue, the creaking of the hinges of the heavy wooden doors to the training hall sounded behind him, and he turned to greet his students. Tai Lung, of course, bowed with utmost respect and a quiet, "Good afternoon, Master."
Lin, however, glared at him and slowly raised her left arm to point at the sling.
He wouldn't take her bait, though, for once. Instead, he addressed Tai Lung. "Let us work on speed and agility for the afternoon, Tai Lung. Start on the Field of Fiery Death, and practice Viper style."
Tai Lung nodded confidently and instantly got to work, as he had more than enough experience already with the field. While he had yet to completely master Viper style, he was quite proficient at it. At the rate he was going, in fact, he would probably have the scroll mastered by the end of the month.
Lin watched Tai Lung begin his exercises with her eyes narrowed and her lip curled up. "You let him dodge fire, and you're not even gonna go over there to keep an eye on him?"
"Tai Lung will be fine," he replied, unable to keep the sly tone out of his voice as he headed toward the Adversary. "You, on the other hand, I am not so sure about. Now come here."
"You're not even gonna put a bucket of water or something over there, just in case?" she went on, following him to the side of the room where the Adversary stared blankly out at them. "And what's this thing, anyway?"
"This," Shifu informed her with incredible smugness, "is something that has been used here for centuries to train children, just starting out in kung fu." He paused to let his jab sink in, and relish the moment. "And to prop the door open when it's hot," he added for good measure.
"I get it," she huffed, obviously annoyed. "So what makes you think I'm actually gonna train in kung fu, huh? 'Cause I don't see how you can make me."
"Do it, or you're fired," he replied simply, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, that's gonna work." She snorted dismissively at him. "I just came here to tell you I ain't punching this doll or dodging that fire, or anything. Now, if you'll excuse me-"
"You're fired," he interrupted her, ignoring the gasp he heard from Tai Lung's direction.
"Yeah, right," she grumbled. "Nice try."
"No, I mean it. Pack your things and go." He, of course, was bluffing, but it was the only ammunition he had and he needed to take the lie as far as possible in order to gain Lin's compliance. "Have a nice life."
She stared back at him, as if she hadn't heard him at all. "I'm fired," she repeated skeptically.
"Yes. You are absolutely, one hundred percent fired. Gone. Terminated."
"You're going to kick me out, right here and now, with these kinds of injuries?" She narrowed her eyes at him, placing her good hand on her hip.
In response he simply raised one hand and waved at her. "Bye bye." His bluff appeared to be working.
However, it just so happened that it had worked too well. Lin's already immensely fluffy fur stood even more on end (which he had previously thought impossible) as her temper completely exploded. "So you're just gonna fire me for not going along with this stupid game of yours!" she shouted, her left hand bunched into a fist at her side. "After everything I been through- after this-" She pointed at her injured arm again, obviously so enraged that for a moment she couldn't even speak. It was, however, a short moment. "Whatever! I don't need you! I don't need anyone! Get bent! Go to hell! Stick it in your ass!" She stormed over to the door, waving her left hand wildly about in the air, displaying an extremely rude gesture that he hoped Tai Lung did not yet understand. "And you know what else! You're fat!" With that, she stomped out the door and slammed it behind her.
Shifu stared in stunned silence at the door, his mouth hanging open at the display. He honestly hadn't thought, even for a moment, that his bluff would have garnered such a reaction.
"Master!" Tai Lung, of course, was not reacting well, either. He had long since stepped off to the relative safety of the wooden runner along the side of the obstacle course, and was now running toward the door. "How could you?" He sounded so incredibly hurt that it stunned Shifu all the more, and all he could do was continue to stare. "Lin is my friend," Tai Lung went on, sounding on the verge of tears. "You can't do this!" He flung the doors open, turning to leave the training hall and run after Lin. "I won't- oof!" And he walked straight into her, because she had been standing on the other side of the door, her arm outstretched to open it, herself. "Lin!" He stepped back into the training hall, relief written all over his face.
Lin poked her head inside and raised her eyebrows at Shifu. "You were bluffing," she stated as calmly as if she had never gone off on a tirade at all.
Shifu stared back at her, his mouth dry. He knew that Tai Lung would be upset no matter what his answer was, so of course he had to settle for the truth. Still, he had to wonder if she had only realized he'd been bluffing after her rant or if the whole thing had been an elaborate act to one-up him. Either way, he'd been completely floored every step of the way, and all he could do was attempt to recover and act calmly. With a forceful swallow, he replied. "Yes. Yes I was."
Surprisingly, Tai Lung was the one to chide him, with sternly crossed arms and a glare to match his own. "Don't do that kinda stuff! You scared me half to death!"
"Get back to your training," he sighed, reaching up to massage his temple in an attempt to ward off an oncoming headache. "Now."
"Yes, Master," he answered quickly, sensing that arguing would result in rather vigorous punishment, then scampered back to the other side of the training hall.
"And you," he snapped at Lin, but she cut him short.
"I guess I can give this kung fu stuff a try." She sounded rather put upon, as if she were the one doing him a reluctant favor, rather than the other way around. With a heavy sigh she re-entered the training hall, closed the door, and trudged over to the Adversary. "Okay. Let's get this over with."
He gave her a good, long glare at that, and also took the opportunity to look her over, to judge her strengths and weaknesses as he had never really done before. She obviously favored her right side, made clear by her anger and frustration at her injuries. However, from what he'd witnessed while fighting off the bandits and what he could see now, she was more inclined to use her upper body to fight, and was most definitely suited to grappling. This would be an impetus due to her injury, of course. Still, he could focus on methods that emphasized her left side rather than right, and of course every student of kung fu still needed to learn how to properly use their legs in a fight as well. They would also need to work on stances, although he could tell that she already had a good start in that area, since whether she was on-guard or not she generally kept herself well-rooted, and definitely gave off an overall impression of immovability. And, he had to admit, that while he was suspicious and even disconcerted by the realization that she was much more powerful than she looked, the knowledge gave him a certain appreciation of her that was unexpected, to say the least.
In fact, even looking at her now he found himself appreciative of her ability to mislead; he was starting to realize that things he had previously thought were just general indications of her chaotic and temperamental personality were actually planned to disguise herself. For instance, her clothing had always been a bit baggy, which he had thought was due to a combination of her small size and large amount of fur, and her belt was loose and sagging, far below where it should have sat. He'd seen her as simply an unkempt street urchin, but he understood now that by wearing her clothing in such a fashion she was actually hiding her center of gravity at first glance, leaving it up to her opponent to either guess or discover from her movements. And she had always worn men's clothing, which he had never questioned before as he had assumed she simply wore whatever she had most likely stolen before arriving at the Jade Palace, but of course it would be easier to move, run, and fight in than a woman's dress. Then there was her flippant attitude, her inappropriate laughter, and her general air of being totally oblivious to what went on around her- it was obviously not the entire truth. He knew now that she was perfectly adept at observing her surroundings, and acting accordingly. If nothing else, she had proved such a capability when she'd thought to launch fireworks at the crocodiles the previous day. And, of course, she had proved time and time again in their fights that she was capable of discerning her opponent's weaknesses and using them against him, at least on a psychological level.
"...Hello?" Lin interrupted his thoughts, waving her hand back and forth directly in front of his eyes. "What're you, fantasizing about pastries or something?"
"Stop that," he snapped, batting her hand away. "And no, I was not. I was simply contemplating where to start with your training."
"You sure, Pudge?" She had the audacity to reach out and poke his belly. "Not that I mind a little padding, it makes you more approachable. Kinda like a little Ti-tsang, with a pudgy little baby face." She probably would have pinched his cheek, too, if he hadn't side-stepped her.
"You know, before you try to tease me you should remember that each of these training devices could also be used as devices of torture." He tucked his hands into his sleeves in front of him, a smile briefly crossing his lips as he thought of all the ways he could embarrass her with this training.
"Fine," she sighed, rolling her eyes at him. "What's first?"
He nodded to the Adversary, then stepped back behind her to allow her more room to move. "All you have to do is hit this. It'll allow me to see what you're capable of."
"That's it? I just have to hit this big dummy thing?" She eyed the brightly painted dummy, as if she thought there might be some sort of catch.
"It's called The Adversary!" Tai Lung corrected her from across the hall, where he was dodging bursts of flame on the Field of Fiery Death.
"All you have to do is hit it," Shifu confirmed, stepping aside. "Go ahead."
"Okay." She poked hesitantly at it, furrowing her brow in contemplation.
"Are you going to stand there and poke it all day?"
"Fine, fine, here I go." Lin stretched out her left arm a little bit, then planted her feet firmly on the floor and gave the Adversary a solid punch. It swung back rather far, and as it did so a smug expression briefly crossed her face before it reversed direction and hit her firmly over the head. "Ow!"
Shifu snorted behind her.
"Did you just laugh at that?"
"No- no, of course not," he answered a little too quickly.
"You wanna fill in for this adversary thing, or you wanna, y'know, teach?" she snapped testily.
"Just try again," he replied in as stern a tone as he could muster while the image of her being hit on the head by the Adversary was still clear in his mind.
"No." She took a step away from the sand-filled dummy, her eyes trained on Shifu as if she were waiting for his reaction.
"How are you supposed to learn when you won't try?"
"Exactly." She crossed her arms- or arm, rather- and turned away.
"Just try again," he prompted, exasperated at her stubbornness. While of course she would need to show persistence to learn anything, he found himself actually wanting to find out what she was truly capable of. Despite her blunder in not dodging the Adversary when it returned the force of her punch, the hit had still been solid, powerful, and well-aimed.
"Gimme some pointers, then, if you want me to hit that stupid thing again." She positioned herself in front of the dummy once more, her posture relaxed.
"First, try not standing around like a lazy bum," he replied, grabbing a staff from a nearby weapons rack to use to correct her. He decided that a simple side punch would be best at the moment. "First, since you'll be striking with your left arm, step forward on your left leg." He used the staff to give her calf a nudge, and while he hadn't expected her to react well to pretty much anything he tried to do, she still caught him off guard.
She suddenly grabbed the staff in her left hand, and he braced himself to keep her from pulling it away; however, she instead pushed it forward, hitting him in the stomach with the end. "Whadda I look like, some kinda marionette? Don't freaking poke at me with your little stick like that!"
He yanked the staff out of her hand, glowering resentfully. She hadn't hurt him, of course, but he didn't see them getting very far when she insisted on being contrary at every turn. "Why don't you just listen to me, for once? And show some respect, as well. I am your master, now-"
"Okay, that's it," she snapped, completely dropping her stance and stepping away from the Adversary.
"What now?" he groaned; his head was starting to pound from all the blood rushing to it, and he was definitely going to need to meditate for a very long time after this.
"You're not my 'master,'" she informed him, even going to far as to use air quotes for the term. "I'll call you Master Shifu if it floats your boat, but you are not my master, and quite frankly I don't like what the wording implies."
"What? What does it imply?" He knew he was losing his patience, but he didn't think any observer to the situation would really be able to blame him. "That I'm teaching you kung fu? Because, news flash, that is what I am doing. Or, at least, what I'm attempting to do."
"You're poking me with a stick and making me punch a dummy filled with sand!" she shot back. "And laughing at me! Though, I'd probably laugh too, if I were you. But still. I don't wanna do this. I never wanted to do this! If I wanted to learn kung fu, dontchya think I woulda done it by now?"
"Just try again! I'm just asking you to punch the Adversary one more time! How difficult is that? Is it difficult? No! No it's not!" He stopped himself there, before he flew off the handle even further, and took a deep, calming breath. He hoped that their fighting wasn't distracting Tai Lung too much. "Try again," he said much more calmly.
"I'm not-"
"Try again," he interrupted her, glaring.
With a loud sigh, Lin stepped in front of the Adversary once more, then stepped forward with her left foot, bringing it down heavily in a pointed stomp. "Don't you dare touch me with that stick."
"Very well," he agreed grudgingly, replacing the staff on the weapons rack and then approaching her to study her form. "Step forward a bit more, and make sure your knee is bent," he instructed curtly.
She did as he said without argument, for once, and actually managed to get it right.
"Turn your torso more," he continued, watching as she turned just a little bit. "No, more than that." And he reached out, took her by the shoulders, and turned her into the correct position. "The point is to create as small a target as possible for your opponent."
"Okay," she replied, her voice sounding unexpectedly strained; she was most likely attempting not to lose her temper and fight with him again.
"Of course, once you punch the Adversary it will come back at you with tenfold the force you used to hit it." He stepped back to examine her form, then gave a brief nod of approval.
"Yeah, I got that part," she grumbled.
"So simply step back to dodge it." He held his hand out toward the dummy. "Now, hit it."
She hesitated momentarily, the gave the Adversary an admittedly well-executed punch that was just as firm as her first attempt, then quickly stepped back to avoid its return. "Hey!" she exclaimed, a brief smile crossing her face at her success.
"Yes, you did it," Shifu confirmed, already thinking of the possibilities; her arm wouldn't take too long to heal, and once that was done she would be able to train as vigorously as Tai Lung. Of course she needed to learn the absolute basics first, but once she was past those he thought that Dragon style would be a good place to start. And, of course he would have to teach her Tiger style, since she was so well-suited to a style that emphasized offense. And since she favored upper body strength he would teach her Leopard style, as well. If she took to training well she could even perceivably become a master, after several years of intense training.
"You're drifting off again," she pointed out flatly.
"Ah, sorry," he replied, feeling a bit sheepish at that.
"So what else d'you want me to do?" she asked hesitantly; despite her excitement at her success, she still sounded wary about learning more. "What're these, over here?" She walked toward the rest of the brutal devices in the training hall, pointing down at the spinning serpents. "So what about these spinning branches here, I'm supposed to balance on those while I avoid the spiked club thingies?"
"They are not branches, they are modeled after snakes." He tried not to sound too annoyed, keeping in mind that she was clueless about kung fu. At least, she pretended to be- for all he knew she could just be acting to throw him off her scent. "Everything in the training hall is based on the form of an animal."
"Oh, I see it now." She scanned the training hall, nodding her head as she eyed each obstacle. "Well I know those wooden twirly-majiggers are crocodiles."
"The Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors," Shifu corrected, exasperated by her refusal to learn the proper name of anything.
"And the bowl thingy is a turtle or a tortoise, I dunno if there's even a difference between the two..." She paused, apparently contemplating the two animals.
"It is the Jade Tortoise of Wisdom!" he snapped, his patience wearing thin.
"Right! And these clubs here are porcupines, or hedgehogs- hey, is there a difference between those guys, too?"
"They are the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion, now stop fooling around."
"And the Adversary is..." She turned to it, her lip curling up as she squinted at the thing. "...A red panda?"
"No!" He glared at her, irritated that she'd wasted so much of his time, just to set up a simple insult. What made matters even worse was that he could see Tai Lung from the corner of his eye, shaking as if holding in laughter at the joke. "You are here to learn, not to make wise cracks about me."
"'Wise cracks?' Really?" she replied flatly.
"I am not old!" If this kept up, he was going to be laid out for the rest of the night with a migraine the size of Mongolia. "Now focus! This isn't the kitchen, where you can do as you please and constantly poke fun at me." He walked up to her, and while he was not that much taller than she was he simply stood closer to appear more intimidating. "This is the training hall, and I am in charge here, so you will behave and treat me with the same respect that Tai Lung gives me, or I will throw you into the Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors. Is that clear?"
Unexpectedly, she simply stared up at him.
"Lin!" he snapped.
"Hurruhuh," she replied, blinking and shaking her head. "Wha? I mean, yeah, sure. It's clear." She stepped back from him, though whether she'd actually been intimidated or was simply doing so to set up another elaborate insult, he wasn't sure.
"I believe that the response you are looking for is 'Yes, Master Shifu.'" He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to repeat after him.
"What, you want me to say that?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "That sounds a little off if you ask me. Like in a dominatrix way."
Shifu let out a low groan and dropped his forehead into his hand; it was going to be an incredibly long afternoon.
Lin grunted loudly from her sore muscles as she lowered herself down to sit under the peach tree, a pot of tea and a cup by her side to relax her. Surprisingly enough, Shifu had offered to make dinner that night (with what had seemed to be intense reluctance), and while she'd hovered around him the entire time, sniping at him every time he made the slightest mistake, he'd still done relatively well. At least, the food hadn't made anyone vomit. He'd even made soup as she'd requested, so she wouldn't have to go through the pain and embarrassment of attempting to use chopsticks with her left hand.
Still, he was making her nervous with the way he'd been acting all day. First he wanted to teach her kung fu (preposterous- she neither wanted nor needed his instruction), and then he was actually attempting to help her. He still treated her as though she were the greatest burden he'd ever faced, though, so he was probably only acting out of some misguided sense of duty and honor and all that. The truth was he had saved her because it was his job to save her, and he was attempting to teach her kung fu because he didn't want to have to rush to her aid again.
Still, she was grateful- at least as grateful as she could bring herself to feel while he was forcing her to punch and kick some stupid sand bag over and over. And a lot of her current nervousness wasn't just brought on by his attitude, but his mere proximity. She found that the more time she spent in close quarters with him, the more her mind conjured up unwanted thoughts like those she'd had in the marketplace.
When she gave the matter some serious thought, she realized that perhaps this could also be the reason that Shifu had made her so nervous when she had first started working at the Jade Palace. She had been attracted to men before, of course. She was no stranger to appreciating the unique aesthetic pleasures of each individual man, from the roughly hewn bulk of a farmer to the finely drawn features of a scholar. And, of course, she had never denied her own observations to herself, no matter how inconsequential. So, she was rather confused as to why she wouldn't have noted any attraction to Shifu (no matter how deeply disturbed she currently was by the notion) until just recently.
Perhaps it had been some sort of subconscious preservation instinct that had kept her from associating her nervousness with a physical attraction. Besides that, she did have a track record of being slow on the uptake, at least when it came to such matters. Then there was the fact that she was so close to the situation. In the past three years she had only really appreciated a man's looks from a distance, noting a stranger's musculature or strong jaw in a clinical fashion befitting of someone of her ilk. There had never been even an inkling of passion behind her idly wandering eye during that time.
What she found herself suddenly and deeply entrenched in at the moment was most definitely passion. This was full-blown fantasy provoking, heart palpitating, dry heaving passion. And, as she was slowly realizing, it had been for quite some time. Though, she had to admit that watching the fluid, agile way Shifu had fought those bandits certainly hadn't hurt. And he was quite strong, a fact she had especially enjoyed when he'd picked her up and cradled her against chest.
She gave herself a light slap in the face. She'd started to drift off into dangerous waters, and while she knew that she had an indulgent streak the width of the Pacific ocean, this was one time she was going to reign herself in. She would simply not think about it. And, if she could go long enough without thinking about it, it would go away- as was the case with any emotion, really. At least as far as she'd experienced.
Of course, that was easier said than done. It would be difficult not to think about Shifu when he suddenly wouldn't leave her alone; she'd had to practically bite his head off to get him to back off and let her come sit underneath the peach tree for some tea. She realized that it was simply in his nature to act controlling and overprotective- after all, that was how he treated Tai Lung, though he'd been loosening up lately. Still, it was annoying when she was the focus of his attention.
Although there were certain pros; for instance, he'd cleaned the kitchen after dinner, going so far as to refuse to let her do anything more than wipe the table and counters down. Of course he'd sniped at her the entire time, prattling on and on about her form or whatnot, something to do with kung fu. When he got going on the subject, he simply refused to shut up, though she realized that she was the same way about her own field of expertise. She would have been more attentive if he'd stopped to explain what he was talking about, though, instead of going on and on about kung fu styles and old masters and other matters that she was totally clueless about.
Actually, as annoying as it was, it was also kind of cute. He'd gotten so worked up about kung fu that it had been like listening to Tai Lung talk, mentioning how great an old master had been, and how some signature move had revolutionized the use of chi in combat, and other things like that. She'd been drifting in and out (mostly out). If she'd let him, he probably would have followed her to the peach tree and talked her ear off all night. She was starting to feel a little bad about telling him to shut up and leave her alone before she broke a chair over his head. She supposed Tai Lung had been right when he'd said Shifu was lonely, and she realized that conversation could be a bit limited with a child who was too afraid of being punished to actually answer anything properly and an old man who spoke mostly in metaphors.
Still, she doubted it meant anything more than that. And in a way, it hurt to think so, because from the first moment she'd warmed up to him she'd genuinely wanted to be his friend. Perhaps there was still a chance for that to happen, though; after all, she'd be waylaid in the Valley of Peace even longer than she'd intended due to her injuries, and despite their constant bickering she felt as though they were getting along much better lately. And, perhaps in the process of befriending him, maybe it wouldn't hurt after all to get a good look at those nice blue eyes or that cute little behind once in a while. Just for fun.
A/N: I just had to put that line from the movie in there, it was too good to pass up. That was actually one of the moments that made me laugh the most, aside from Tai Lung getting hit in the face with a wok. But I digress.
Anyway, rest assured that Lin will be calling Shifu "Pudge" in future chapters as well. And as for next chapter: Is Shifu over-analyzing Lin, or is he right on the money? How long exactly will the training last? And what are Tai Lung's thoughts on these developments? All this and more!
Also: Ti-tsang, known as Jizo in Japanese and Kshitigarbha in Sanskrit, is a Bodhisattva known primarily for protecting travelers and children. He is often depicted with a baby-like, chubby face. He's actually got quite a presence in Japan, and I highly recommend Jane Elkinton's book "Jizo: Guardian of the Six Realms" for anyone who's interested.