A/N: Aaaaand we're back! And with a long (for me) chapter, too! You can expect more long chapters, too, since things are starting to snowball. And once again, a huge thanks out to all you readers and reviewers! I wouldn't have gotten this far without you.
Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda still belongs to Dreamworks, hence the millions of sequels in pre-production.
Chapter 17: Never Eat More Than You Can Lift
Lin glared down at the fresh pears and apples she had just finished chopping into grotesquely uneven pieces, in about three times the amount of time it would have taken her to make nicely sized slices with two hands. She eyed her injured arm, then she attempted to lift it from the sling, despite numerous warnings from Shifu to not even think about it; of course the moment she'd tensed her muscles pain had shot all the way down her arm, so intense that she'd given up immediately. And the night had been no better, with her poor coordination with her left hand rendering her barely able to even hold an ink brush straight enough to write out a grocery list. And on top of that, she was getting the sinking feeling that her so-called training was not just a joke or a phase.
Allowing Shifu to attempt to train her in kung fu had been all well and good when she'd thought he would quickly tire of her presence, but the more serious he seemed to become on the subject, the more she was starting to see that his efforts weren't going to fade. He'd actually attempted to force her to go to sleep that night, claiming that she needed rest for her training in the morning. And when she'd told him that he would have to physically knock her out for that to happen, he'd had the nerve to give her a lecture along the lines of what he would give to Tai Lung for disobeying him.
Still, his sincerity and knowledge weren't about to go to waste. She'd given the matter some lengthy thought, as she knew that she couldn't afford to wait for her arm to heal to get back to business as usual. The only way she could think to restore herself to her former glory without waiting for nature to take its course was to become ambidextrous. She'd never before considered learning to coordinate the fine muscles in her left hand, and that had been foolish of her. After all, it had only been a matter of time before she injured her right side. And after witnessing Shifu's relentless but effective way of teaching, she was certain that he'd be able to help in the endeavor.
At least, he would if he could ever get his mind off of kung fu. And if she didn't snap and poison him in the process. She wasn't sure if she could take one more lecture on respect, and bowing to him and calling him "Master" was slowly but insidiously filling her with an unspeakable rage. Then there was the whole obedience thing he expected her to take part in- if she were an obedient person, she wouldn't be in the Valley of Peace to begin with. Every order he barked at her only served to rouse her ire further. And while at first she'd found his obsession with kung fu cute, even endearing, every word from his mouth was quickly becoming a grating buzz of indiscernible noise. Worst of all, whenever she attempted to make fun of him or joke with Tai Lung, rather than returning with a barb of his own he would just level a stern glare at her and order her to do laps or push ups or some other menial physical task.
And it had only been a day and a half so far.
"What do you think you are doing?"
She jumped at the sound of Shifu's voice behind her, as if her thoughts had summoned him from the very pits of hell, and whirled around with her knife held defensively in front of her. Her reaction had been pure instinct, and when she realized that she probably looked ready to stab him (which she was) she set the knife down on the counter and attempted to calm herself. "Cooking," she replied, surprised at how even her voice was.
"Cooking?" He raised his eyebrows at her as if the answer had been unexpected.
"Yeah, I mean... It's what you're paying me to do, right?" She briefly considered picking up the knife again, because she could already see where the conversation was going.
"There is no need for you to create elaborate meals, certainly not when you've been up all night." He paused to glare at her at that. "Now that you are my student-"
"Stop," she interrupted him, and stepped away from the counter to avoid the temptation of picking up the knife there. "Stop that right now."
"Stop what?" He seemed confused, of all things.
"I am not your student," she clarified for him. "I do not want to learn kung fu, nor will I ever want to learn it. I refuse to do so." She realized that she had reverted to the more formal, commonwealth form of Chinese she'd first learned, a habit she sometimes had when she was really and truly out of sorts.
Shifu seemed to have noticed this, and briefly narrowed his eyes at her. Surprisingly enough, though, he made no comment on the subject. "I know that training can be jarring to many to begin with- which is why I have started out slowly with you- but you will become used to it."
"You started out slowly with me?" she asked incredulously; she didn't even want to think about what kind of training Tai Lung needed to go through if she was only starting out slowly. "And I'll get used to it?" she continued, contemplating his complete disregard for her wishes. "How's about this: you start running, and I'll get a knife!" She probably shouldn't have resorted to threats so quickly, but she was aggravated.
"I believe it is about time you contemplated learning some humility," he warned, and she could see that he was slipping into teacher mode.
Lin wasn't going to let him get that far, though. "I'm the cook!" she snapped, waving her good arm to indicate the entire kitchen. "This is where I belong! I'm not training in your stupid training hall with your stupid rules anymore, so just drop it!"
"But you could learn, if you applied yourself," he protested, oblivious to how sincerely adamant she was. "Or have you forgotten that stunt you pulled with the table? You have potential, so why squander it?"
"It wasn't potential, it was adrenaline!" She calmed herself down and decided to attempt reason. "The chemistry of the body in a fight or flight state is amazing and somewhat mysterious. Y'know mothers have been known to display feats of strength up to a hundred times greater than what they're normally capable of in defense of their children."
"Interesting," Shifu replied, raising his eyebrows. "You are surprisingly articulate when you don't want to do something."
"And you're surprisingly clueless about what other people do and don't wanna do when it comes to kung fu." She glanced at the door, wondering if she could beat him to it. "Kung fu's just... Not my thing."
"Oh? Then what is 'your thing?'" He crossed his arms, clearly ready to argue with whatever she said.
"That's not the point!" she snapped back.
"No, the point is that you are chaotic, directionless, and completely devoid of respect for authority!" he argued. "Kung fu is precisely what you need."
"No, it's not!" She felt offended that he had even said such a thing- as if he were only teaching her to begin with to change her. "I don't need to learn kung fu, and I definitely don't need to change into something I'm not! I am an-" she suddenly paused, as she'd almost faltered there. "A cook!" she corrected herself, before he got suspicious over her little fumble. "There's nothing wrong with who I am! I'm proud of who I am! I like myself!"
"That's not what I was saying!" he snapped impatiently. "You're just trying to create a fight so you can avoid talking about this, but you're not going to get rid of me so easily!" He strode forward, until they were barely a foot apart. "And do you know what else I think? I think that you're just being stubborn. You don't want to bother trying to learn kung fu because you are set in your ways."
"And you're an ass, so I guess that makes us even," she replied with as much stoicism as she could muster, standing up straighter and staring him down as best she could without thinking about how much she liked the clear, bright blue of his eyes.
He continued to glare at her in silence, but she wasn't about to back down. They stood there for what felt like forever, but in all likelihood it most likely wasn't any longer than a minute or two. Finally, Shifu spoke. "You are really turning this down?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Yeah, I am." She put her hand on her hip to make absolutely sure she looked like she meant business.
"I see," was all he replied with. He looked as though he wanted to say more, but Tai Lung interrupted them, then.
"Uhm... Good morning," he greeted hesitantly as he entered the kitchen, eyeing them warily. "...You're okay, right?"
"Everything's fine," Lin informed him cheerily, stepping away from Shifu and turning back to the counter. "And breakfast is almost done, just gimme a couple more minutes. There's some tea here, why dontchya dig into that while I finish up?" She thought she sounded rather motherly, something that disturbed her on a level even deeper than Shifu's kung fu training had.
Speaking of whom, he leaned toward her as he took the pot of tea from the counter and sternly whispered, "We will continue this discussion later." He gave her a short but meaningful look that brooked no argument, then took the tea to the kitchen table.
Lin frowned to herself, but there was nothing she could really do. She would just have to stand her ground and wait for him to see reason. She suppressed a groan at that thought; as if Shifu were even capable of compromise. She was screwed.
The Hall of Heroes was quiet and peaceful, the embankment of candles around the moon pool lit to aid in deep meditation or in study of the many scrolls held within the shelves that lined the back wall of the room. And it was indeed a grand place to study, with not only the artifacts and paintings of kung fu warriors past to inspire but with the Dragon Scroll itself overhead, poised in the jaws of the golden dragon as if presiding over the hall and bearing witness to all within.
Tai Lung stared up at the scroll, its previously benign presence now disheartening. He'd had a real chance to prove himself, and he had failed. He'd let down the entire village, he'd let down his master, and he'd let down his friend. And every time he caught sight of the sling around Lin's arm he was reminded of it. As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn't help but feel useless and ashamed. If he couldn't even face up to a group of bandits, if he couldn't even protect the valley from a threat that had been so easily handled by Master Shifu, then how could he ever hope to become the Dragon Warrior?
And, even though Master Shifu would probably chide him for being so prideful, he couldn't help but feel disappointed in himself, that he'd overestimated his own power. He was upset not just that he'd been unable to protect the village, but also because he'd lost, plain and simple. And he'd felt like such a baby when Master Shifu had come to physically carry him out of the fight, leaving him to hide in an alley like a beaten down coward.
He knew, of course, that he was still a kid- if anyone reminded him of that, it was Lin. But he'd thought he was different, that he was special; that even though he was still a kid he could be just as strong and brave as an adult. He'd thought he could be like his master. Master Shifu had still praised him after all was over and done with, but he knew the truth, that it was empty praise only to make him feel better. In reality, he had failed.
At least there was one somewhat good thing that had come from his failure, which had been Lin's training in kung fu (though he somehow doubted that it would last for very much longer). He knew that if he hadn't lost against those crocodiles so miserably that his master wouldn't have wanted to train another student, but at the same time he'd been happy to learn that Lin would be joining them in the training hall- after he'd gotten over his initial shock, of course. Still, things had gone exactly as anyone could have expected.
Tai Lung remembered quite well the previous day's training, which for him had been distracting at best and downright distressing at worst. After all, it was difficult to concentrate on his own exercises when Master Shifu and Lin were constantly bickering mere feet away from him. And then there were the particularly low, embarrassing points of Lin's attempts at kung fu which had been distracting in both their hilarity and the discomfort they inspired in him once he saw how much Master Shifu had been enjoying them.
The highlight of these moments had been Lin's attempt to practice her balance on the spinning snake logs. While Master Shifu had thankfully disabled the swinging clubs of instant oblivion for her (mostly because of Tai Lung's own fear that she would be killed if she so much as thought of attempting to dodge them), she still had not fared well. It became obvious that she was going to fail when she had at first refused to go near them, resulting in Master Shifu physically forcing her onto the rotating carved snakes. She had actually lasted a surprisingly long time, though of course she'd been distracted by her own volatile temper erupting in a number of foul-mouthed physical threats to the kung fu master (Tai Lung had covered his ears through most of it, since he feared he would get in trouble simply for hearing half of what she'd shouted at the surprisingly complacent red panda).
Her lack of focus had been her undoing, and she'd lost her balance and fallen, clinging desperately with her uninjured arm and legs to one spinning serpent. It had been pretty funny to see her spinning around like that as she continued to fling horrible insults in every which way, going so far as to curse Master Golden Takin himself for even building the training hall to begin with. Tai Lung's amusement at the sight had quickly dissipated once he caught sight of the serene smile on Master Shifu's face as he watched her rotate along with the serpent she clung to; it was obvious that he wasn't going to help Lin until she either lost her grip or became dizzy enough to induce vomiting. So, despite his fear of being punished for such an act of kindness, Tai Lung had intervened and easily balanced on the serpents while he had pulled Lin off of the log she'd clung to, carrying her back to solid ground. And, of course, he had been punished for it, which had started a whole new fight between Lin and Master Shifu.
After that, Tai Lung had decided to keep an eye on them, sacrificing his own training and freedom (for he would surely be scrubbing down the entire mountain by the end of the day as a result of his much-needed interference in Lin's training). He'd thought the worst had been over when they had moved to the small courtyard in front of the training hall, but disaster had struck once again when Master Shifu had suggested she attempt to develop her flexibility and indicated the propped up bushels of straw used for practicing splits. Tai Lung still wasn't sure why Lin had launched into a tirade at that, though she had clearly been offended; still, he didn't see what improving her flexibility had to do with the availability of jobs for single women.
Lin's preaching about social inequality had actually been so long and utterly unbreakable in its train of thought (Master Shifu had attempted to interrupt her several times only to be ignored) that Tai Lung thought she might actually go on for the rest of the day like that. Eventually, Master Shifu had once again resorted to physically forcing her into the exercise, picking her up and ignoring her indignant screeching (for there was no other word to describe the noises she had made) as he plopped her down in a perfect split onto the straw apparatus.
She'd fallen silent at that, and Tai Lung had thought she'd finally settled down and concentrated on the task at hand; but then she'd let out a piteously strained groan for help, and he realized that she had simply had the wind knocked straight out of her from the intense pain of her muscles stretching far beyond their limits. When Master Shifu had cruelly refused to help her, Tai Lung had once again stepped forward to intervene and face the resulting punishment.
Still, it hadn't all been horribly disastrous. Lin seemed to be a natural at stances and motions, able to put her body into the correct pose (or the nearest possible one considering her injury) after watching Tai Lung or Master Shifu go through the motions once or twice. She had accredited this particular talent to being a "visual learner," though Master Shifu had appeared skeptical. Still, whenever she landed a punch correctly or was able to follow through with a successful block or dodge, he had appeared to be impressed- maybe even proud. Tai Lung had certainly been proud of her at those moments, and had offered her an encouraging smile every time he happened to catch her eye throughout the day.
Despite her successes, though, Lin hadn't seemed to warm up to kung fu at all. She complained constantly throughout her training, and had rolled her large brown eyes whenever Master Shifu had attempted to lecture her on kung fu's true meaning and importance. Tai Lung found her reluctance to learn the ancient art disheartening, since he'd been looking forward to having a fellow student around. While he was glad that he wouldn't be deprived of her excellent cooking for very much longer, he'd still been excited at the prospect of a completely new and altogether deeper bond with her. And besides, if she became Master Shifu's student, perhaps they'd be able to learn to get along for longer than five minutes at a time. Although, Tai Lung was still relieved that they'd become accustomed enough to each other to make it as long as five minutes without jumping down each other's throats.
Despite his desire to train alongside Lin, though, he couldn't help but think that if she quit, perhaps Master Shifu would give him another chance. Maybe, somehow, he'd be able to prove himself, to prove what he knew that he was capable of. Just that simple thought made him itch to get back to the training hall and push himself harder than he ever had before, instead of wasting his time meditating or studying in the Hall of Heroes.
He even turned to leave and do just that, and nearly walked right into Lin. "Ah!" he exclaimed, shocked that she'd been able to sneak up on him.
"Hey, kid." She patted him on the shoulder, glancing up at the Dragon Scroll with a brief puzzled expression on her face. "I been looking all over forya. Look, I never got a chance to thank you for helping me out with that whole getting fired thing the other day. I knew Shifu'd try to pull that card on me, and without you I wouldn't have been able to lay on such a thick layer of guilt." She paused to shake her head. "I doubt he'll be trying that one again, at least not anytime soon. And by the way... Try not to repeat any of the stuff I said or any of the gestures I mighta made."
"Oh... Yeah, right." While the incident had been the last thing he would have thought about, the reminder brought a brief smile to his face. It had been rather fun to trick Master Shifu into thinking Lin had taken his threats to fire her seriously.
"So, you looked like you had something on your mind," Lin continued, and spared another glance for the Dragon Scroll. "Thinking about that ultimate power or whatever again?"
"Yeah," he admitted reluctantly; the last thing he needed to hear was another speech from Lin about how there was no such thing as limitless power.
"But what if it's not what you were expecting?" she asked, taking him by surprise. "I mean, say you grow up to become some ultimate warrior, and Oogway gives you the scroll, and you look inside... And it's not what you wanted to see?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" He honestly wasn't following her; he didn't see how the secret to limitless power could be anything he didn't want to read.
"Well, Oogway's the one who wrote it, right?" She waited for him to nod at her before she went on. "So, you know how Oogway is. I like him and all, but he doesn't exactly speak in absolutes."
"So you're saying, what if the Dragon Scroll is a riddle or a metaphor or something?"
"Yep."
"Then I'll figure it out!" he replied without a second's hesitation. "I know I could do it. I know I can become the Dragon Warrior, and I know I can master all one thousand of these scrolls!" He realized even as he spoke that, whether intentionally or not, she had reassured him. Saying aloud that he knew he was capable of achieving all that he wanted to had erased the doubt in his mind; the conviction in his own voice had made him believe in those words again. Yes, he had failed- but he would never fail again.
"Good for you," Lin said, even going so far as to give him an encouraging punch on the shoulder. "That's the kinda resolve I like to see."
"What about you? Are you gonna keep learning kung fu?" he was pretty curious as to whether there had been anything more to her complaints than mere whining.
"Are you crazy? Hell no!" She visibly shuddered at the question. "Sorry, kid, but I'm not a huge fan of actually practicing kung fu. You can do it all you want, but leave me outta it."
"Oh. Okay." He couldn't keep the disappointment from his voice, but he supposed it had been inevitable that Lin would finally grow tired of her training. "I just can't believe you're giving up so soon," he told her with complete honesty, though he also hoped the statement would prod her into reconsidering her decision.
"I'm not giving up," she informed him stiffly, staunchly refusing the bait. "It doesn't count, anyway, since kung fu ain't something I ever wanted to do. Besides, I got other things to worry about, besides getting my ass handed to me by inanimate objects." She screwed her face up in a grimace, undoubtedly recalling the training hall's intense but effective training devices.
"Like what?" he ventured, wondering if perhaps there was something on her mind other than cooking; after all, she did sometimes refer to "working" through the night, and he honestly didn't think it took her that long to prepare her often simple and light breakfasts.
"Like convincing Shifu that I'm no longer willing to get my ass handed to me by inanimate objects." At this her expression turned to one of disgruntled exasperation. "I tried to tell him this morning, but apparently he's refusing to take no for an answer."
"So that's what you guys were fighting about," Tai Lung realized aloud as he thought back on the scene he'd walked in on. He'd thought he'd interrupted some kind of intense argument, from the way his master and Lin had been standing so close to each other, each glaring at the other in a way he'd never seen either of them do so before.
"Yep," she confirmed. "He's probably gonna try to convince me or force me to do kung fu again, but rest assured that I will be standing my ground. I mean... It'd be nice if he could teach me to do stuff with my left arm, instead. Y'know, like slicing stuff and using chopsticks and whatnot."
"But your injuries will heal in a couple of weeks," he pointed out, confused as to why she would want to find a long-term solution for a short-term problem. "You can just wait it out."
"True, but I don't know if I can stand two weeks of this whole... Feeling helpless thing." For a moment, she looked embarrassed, as if she thought it was shameful to rely on others while her injuries healed. "And besides, I tend to get into scraps every now and then. It couldn't hurt to have some backup just in case."
"Yeah, I understand. But learning kung fu would help you out a whole lot in fights, too." He shot her an encouraging smile, but he doubted he'd be able to change her mind on that particular subject.
"Nuh uh," she replied firmly. "If I ever see another sand-filled, vacant-eyed dummy again, it'll be too soon."
It was then that Master Shifu found them, a disapproving frown fixed on his face as he approached. "There you two are." His tone was chiding, and his voice was rather loud in the otherwise silent hall.
"It is way too soon," Lin grumbled, her entire countenance changing to one of complete nervousness and annoyance. "Listen, kid, I gotta scram before he lays into me about this kung fu stuff. Keep him busy, willya?"
"I heard that," Master Shifu snapped.
Strangely enough, a light blush became visible from beneath her fur. "Seeya," she replied immediately and shoved past him just as he'd reached them to make a break for it.
"Master Shifu," Tai Lung addressed him, before he could run after Lin and drag her back, "I think you should give Lin some more time to consider your more than generous offer to teach her." He even widened his eyes into his completely fool-proof kitten stare in order to pin his master in place.
"Stop that," the red panda surprisingly ordered. "Tai Lung, you should know better by now than to attempt such juvenile manipulation." Still, he remained where he was, and only briefly glared at the door Lin had fled through at top speed, still hanging open to let in the bright afternoon sun. "And in any case, whatever may happen between myself and Lin is adult business, and nothing for you to concern yourself with."
Tai Lung stared back at him with wide eyes at that particular statement. "Adult business?" he echoed, recalling the one time he'd heard the term used; Lin had told him once, when he'd asked her if she'd ever thought about dating or settling down that such things were "adult business," and that he was better off not knowing. Yet his master couldn't possibly be talking about the same kind of "adult business" that Lin had mentioned. "Master... You're not talking about any mushy romantic stuff, right?"
"W-what?" he sputtered back, instantly turning red.
"I guess that's a no," Tai Lung hurriedly accepted, though the more he thought of it, the more suspicious he became; it actually explained a lot. The fighting, the constant poking and prodding, the awkward silences, and the blushing. But he was probably mistaken. There was no way that Master Shifu could ever have a crush on anyone- he was Master Shifu, after all. And as far as Lin was concerned, well... She never did anything according to normal standards, so he really couldn't be sure. Still, he had heard of these things happening, and while he silently prayed that he never fell victim to such an insidious foe, adults seemed to enjoy it for some reason or another. He made a note to himself to speak with Master Oogway on the matter once he'd returned, and in the meantime he would have to keep his eyes open for any more hints. Of course, it would be up to him to guide such a romance in the right direction (Lin and Master Shifu were pretty useless when it came to actually interacting with other people, let alone each other), though which direction that was had yet to be seen. He would reserve judgment on that front until he could be absolutely sure whether or not there was any funny business going on to begin with.
"Tai Lung!" Master Shifu snapped, wrenching him from his epiphany. "Have you been listening to me?"
He realized belatedly that his master had been speaking through his entire rumination. "I am sorry, Master." He tried to sound as contrite as possible as he bowed deeply. "I was... Lost in thought."
"Well, if you have time enough to be lost in thought, then you have time enough to think about your studies." With that, he launched into a whole new lecture on the importance of Tai Lung studying the thousand scrolls, but it slowly faded into the same background noise that all his lectures did.
Tai Lung, meanwhile, was scheming.
If Lin had to write a list of the absolute worst things that could possibly happen to her, her current predicament would probably be on it. She was stuck in the Valley of Peace, pretty much living on borrowed time, she had injured her right arm and thus rendered herself pretty much useless, and on top of everything else she had Shifu to thank for taking care of her. Nothing got to her quite like feeling indebted to someone, and Shifu wasn't making things any better by trying to teach her kung fu.
She didn't see why he was so hell-bent on teaching her, to begin with; had she really been that much of a burden in the fight against the bandits, that he wanted to teach her a proper way to defend herself? Or perhaps his already inflated sense of duty and honor had been thrown into overdrive, and he was working to sate them. There was also the equally likely possibility that he was simply torturing her to get back at her for all the times she'd made fun of him or tricked him into cleaning the kitchen.
Either way, she didn't like it one bit, and she wasn't going to allow it to continue any further. She hadn't wanted to discuss the issue in front of Tai Lung, hence her retreat in the Hall of Heroes; she knew there was a good chance that the ensuing argument would become rather heated, and she didn't want him caught in the middle of it. She supposed it would come up at the usual time that she and Shifu tended to have "discussions": after dinner.
There was another reason she hadn't wanted to argue in front of Tai Lung; the more time she spent thinking back on the fight with the bandits, and the more time she spent in close proximity to Shifu, the more she found unexpectedly bitter thoughts cropping up unbidden in her mind. Mainly, she was distressed by the realization that she had come to care so much for Tai Lung and Shifu, and Oogway (though she still found him rather strange- not that she could really talk). However, if she ever dwelled for too long on this distress, she would also suddenly find herself thinking bitterly of Shifu's glaring lack of reciprocation, how even acts that could be construed as an extension of the olive branch were mere obligations for him. She had never really been bothered before by anyone's lack of fondness for her; if she had, she wouldn't have gotten half as far as she had. Yet, for some reason, this time was different. Perhaps she was going mad.
She decided that if she was going to sulk, she might as well get dinner started in the process, and headed to the kitchen. To her utter shock, the object of her current disdain was waiting there for her. "What're you doing here in between meals?" She put her left hand on her hip in lieu of crossing her arms.
"I thought you might need some help," Shifu replied stiffly.
Lin snorted at that. "You're just trying to talk me into learning kung fu." She could see from the way he shifted uncomfortably that she was right. "Besides, didn't I already tell you once that I don't need help with anything, from anyone, ever? Now get outta here before I get mad." She pushed past him and started rummaging around in the cabinet she reserved for grains. "And where's the rice!" She'd been out of commission for a mere day and a half and already her kitchen had been tampered with.
"We ate it," Shifu shot back, crossing his arms. "It is food, after all."
"Whatever. I don't even care what we eat anymore." She slammed the cabinet closed, completely aware of how much of a baby she was being. Still, losing the use of her right arm was putting her under a lot of stress. And when she was stressed out, her fuse became very short.
"Would you like your bottle, or do you need a nap?" He raised his eyebrows at her and frowned.
"Look, I use my right hand a lot. I am right-handed. So, I'm upset about the current situation." She pointed to the sling. "Gimme a break and leave me alone."
"You're welcome, by the way," he snapped.
While Lin considered herself a sharp observer, she had no idea what he was talking about. "Umm... What?"
"What do you mean 'what?' I saved you! If it wasn't for me, you could have been killed!"
"Oh blah blah," she grumbled back. "You saved Tai Lung. I was just there." She was surprised by how morose she sounded- she wondered briefly if she could chalk it up to hormones, but then again she used that excuse for most of her emotional reactions.
Shifu seemed to share in her surprise, and he hesitated before he replied. "I came to save you, as well," he pointed out. "It is my duty, after all."
"Oh really?" she shot back coldly, and dearly wished that she was capable of crossing her arms. In her current state, though, all she could do was put her left hand on her hip again, glower, and of course inject as much sarcasm into her words as possible. "I apologize, then. I never meant to question your duty."
He seemed to have realized his faux pas, though a little belatedly, and began to stammer out some kind of excuse. "I-I didn't mean to say-"
"Spare me," she snapped, and headed for the door; her mood had been dubious to begin with, but the discussion had put such a sour taste in her mouth that she couldn't even bring herself to even try to cook dinner. "Consider your duty fulfilled," she added as she slammed the heavy kitchen door closed behind her and made a beeline for her room.
She honestly didn't know why she cared so much. While she had long since admitted to herself and even to Shifu that she harbored a certain fondness for him, she still considered herself quite sensible, at least when it came to such matters. She was well aware that even with those she considered her friends it was necessary for her to maintain a certain level of emotional detachment. Therefor, it shouldn't matter to her even if Shifu gave her no more consideration than a rock or a lump of dirt. In fact, she should be happier for it, because it would make her life easier. Sure, the things he said and did tended to wear on her nerves, and she'd be lying to herself if she said she hadn't been pissed off by him on numerous occasions. But this was entirely different.
She found herself not just angry, but actually hurt. And disappointed. And, if she were to truly dig deep and be willing to admit it to herself, sad as well. And all because in his eyes, she was no different than any other stranger on the street. He had helped her because he was honor bound, and that was that. She was ridiculously, childishly angry because he felt for her what he was supposed to feel for her- was she should feel toward him- absolutely nothing.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Tai Lung had gotten it wrong, after all- she may not have been Shifu's best friend, but he had most certainly become hers. She didn't even stop to think about what kind of relationship that put her in with Tai Lung; she could only handle so much emotional revelation in one night.
She might have let out a sob of pure frustration, if she were capable. Instead, she sat herself down in the giant pile of cushions and blankets she had collected from about the Jade Palace and fashioned into a nest-like bed for herself, grunted loudly, and stared angrily into space. She allowed her mind to go blank, unfocused her eyes, and simply sat for a while in an attempt to calm herself.
After perhaps ten minutes of this, Lin found that there was too much weighing on her mind, and she simply couldn't block it all out. She was injured, she was stuck in the Valley of Peace, she cared about people she shouldn't care about, she felt far too helpless for her own liking, and on top of everything she had yet to breech the subject of learning to use her left hand with Shifu. She didn't even know if she wanted to ask him, anymore. Perhaps it would be better to ask Tai Lung for his help, or wait for Oogway's return. She realized that it actually would be best for her to cut her losses, take what little money she had, and flee right then and there. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had even packed her things that morning in a vain attempt to force herself to leave, but in the end it had been useless. And it was her own unwillingness to do what was best for her, for everyone really, that chewed away at her constantly. She was annoyed with herself for it, and that annoyance was amplifying every other indignation that had been heaped upon her.
It also annoyed her that Shifu was still suspicious of her. She had been at the Jade Palace long enough that she felt he should have been able to trust her for what he knew of her already; she'd proven herself trustworthy, in her own opinion. And after what she had just gone through, he should have at least shown some gratitude. Yet it seemed as though he was more suspicious of her than ever, and she could tell that he was attempting to draw conclusions about her past, piece "the clues" together.
She wasn't nervous about him figuring anything significant out, though- at least not for the moment. He seemed to be focusing on all the wrong hints, and while she did realize that her show of strength in lifting the table had been rather telling, she sincerely doubted that he had the knowledge or the insight to figure where her muscles had come from.
The person she really needed to worry about was Oogway. He had all the tools to piece everything together: the insight, the wisdom, and the knowledge. Not to mention that he would undoubtedly uncover some information about her during his trip to Shangba that she would prefer to have stayed hidden. She hoped fervently that the wokou that were plaguing the village were not the same crew she had known in Shanghai, but that wasn't how the world worked. Whatever happened to be the possibility that would turn out most poorly for her was usually the most likely one to happen. So, unfortunately, the pirates were most likely the same ones she had once been acquainted with. There was still a chance that they wouldn't get to speak to Oogway at all, though, and he would just kick their asses and be on his way. This, however, was also not very likely. Oogway was a talker, and he obviously favored reason over physical violence as a means of persuasion.
She was thankful, at least, that she had managed to throw Shifu off the scent; when he'd started talking about Shanghai and Quan, she'd become rather nervous that he'd be able to guess at the truth. But then, he'd clearly demonstrated that he was clueless about the grey areas that had been involved in the rioting in Shanghai, which should have been her first tip-off. When he'd admitted himself that he knew next to nothing about Quan, she had breathed a sigh of relief.
She had also been somewhat amused that, in all his time in the city, they had never once run into each other. Of course, she had been actively avoiding him as anyone with any kind of sense had done, keeping her head down and all. She hadn't even known his name or what he looked like; she'd simply heard that the magistrate had called in a kung fu warrior to round up dissenters, and she had acted accordingly.
Who would have guessed that she would find herself not only cooking for him, but actually actively seeking his friendship? And she had been the one to find him, rather than the other way around. It was all very strange, and even amusing. She hadn't given the matter much thought until now, what with recent events, but as she did so she found herself wondering if they'd have gotten along any better if they'd met back then. Probably not, but it was an entertaining thought, and her amusement combined with her soft bed relaxed her.
However, she had become a little too relaxed, and soon found that she could barely keep her eyes open; at first she struggled, knowing that she still needed to cook dinner. She soon gave in, though, with the thought that if Shifu wanted her to stop cooking so bad, then so be it.
And, while her nap was far from calm and peaceful, it was at least better than being awake.
Shifu groaned to himself as he sat down heavily at the kitchen table. He had waited for Lin to return and begin cooking dinner, and once it had become painfully obvious that she would not be doing so, he had decided to make another feeble attempt at cooking rather than ask her to return to the kitchen. After all, she no doubt wished for an apology and he didn't want to give her the satisfaction. So, he'd put forth his best effort at shaping some beans and barley into a passable soup, ignored the grimace that had crossed Tai Lung's face at every bite of the concoction, and cleaned up. And, inexplicably, he'd waited.
Three pots of tea and an apple later it had gotten quite late and there was still no sign that Lin was about to emerge from her room. He once again turned the events from earlier that day over in his mind. It was inevitable, of course, that he would have said precisely the wrong thing to Lin, but he had hoped that perhaps, just once, he'd had a chance at escaping a conversation with her unscathed. Unfortunately enough, that had not been the case. All he'd done was offer his help in preparing dinner, and somehow even that had managed to blow up in his face. He admittedly had had the ulterior motive of trying to convince her to continue learning kung fu in mind, but she had been snippy before he'd said anything about that.
He realized that he'd put his foot in his mouth with the whole "it's my duty" line, but Lin should have realized by now that he wouldn't have carried her up the thousand steps, unconscious and drooling (nor would he have subjected himself to a full-on view of her naked behind) if he didn't care what happened to her. And he certainly wouldn't be attempting to teach her kung fu if he wasn't concerned about her welfare. At the very least it had been a gesture of gratitude for her willingness to (however ineffectively) protect Tai Lung. Yet she acted as though he were attempting to torture her or something of the like.
Perhaps, though, that was what she'd thought. She had complained throughout the entirety of her incredibly short training, and he had admittedly enjoyed some of her more painfully embarrassing moments much more than he should have. And he did realize that he had never quite given her a verbal show of appreciation for her good deed, so she could have taken issue with that. Though, he didn't see why he should have to thank her verbally when he was so obviously doing so with actions. And actions spoke louder than words, anyway.
There was something else, though, that he hadn't necessarily factored into the equation as of yet, something that had only just occurred to him. No matter how gruff, vulgar, and downright masculine Lin could be, she was still a woman. Women seemed to like verbal confirmation, as far as he'd experienced, although he could be wrong. He tried to think back on previous experiences, and winced when he realized that the last time he'd spoken to a woman for longer than ten minutes had been years ago- not counting Lin, of course.
He suppressed a groan at that; he was absolutely pathetic, no doubt about it. He tried very hard not to dwell on the fact that his interaction with Lin had been more intimate and prolonged than with almost every other woman he had met in the last ten years; after all, the Jade Palace wasn't exactly brimming with estrogen, and he had always been focused on kung fu. And besides that, he had Tai Lung to raise and train. It was understandable that his past relationships had been somewhat... limited.
He shook his head, his eye twitching briefly; he honestly didn't know what had possessed him to suddenly digress, and into such irrelevant territory. What he needed to focus on was the matter at hand with Lin; he had a feeling that he would need to somehow coax her out of her room, rather than simply wait. After all, she was just as stubborn as he could be, and she kept much later hours than he did, so if she needed to leave her room she could very well do so while he was asleep.
It occurred to him that he would need to apologize to her, as much as he dreaded such a thing. He had perhaps been a bit too tight-lipped with his gratitude, and as strange as it was to see that Lin was capable of feeling anything at all besides pride and smug amusement, he had hurt her feelings. It was incredibly unusual to him just to think of her feelings being hurt, but he had somehow managed it. And, whether because he was so stubborn himself or because he simply was terrible with women, it had taken him all afternoon to realize it.
With a heavy sigh, he finally stood from the table and took a moment to rinse out the teapot and cup he'd been drinking from. Then, he doused the single lantern that had been providing him with its dim light and headed for Lin's room. Hopefully, he'd be able to speak to her without enraging her or throwing her into another fit of cold despondence. It was doubtful, but he was willing to try.
He paused outside her door and cleared his throat loudly, to at least give her some warning that he was there. He wasn't exactly sure what the best way to summon her to the door would be, so he settled on the most general and innocuous thing he could think of. "Hello?"
Some thudding and rustling sounded from inside the room as she apparently prepared to answer him. Then, a single loud thump followed by a soft curse indicated that she had probably tripped or stubbed her toe on her way to the door. After a couple more minutes of muttered cursing and rustling, she was finally ready to face him.
"Ah, Lin." Shifu shifted uncomfortably as she opened the door to her room a sliver and sidled through it, closing it tightly behind her in order to conceal whatever she kept inside of it. "Is there... Something wrong in there?" He gestured toward her room.
"It's messy," she answered flatly. She was definitely still put off about their earlier argument, if her tone and tired scowl were any indication.
"Oh." He waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't seem to be in a talkative mood. He decided to try a different approach, and attempted to seem more casual about the whole encounter. "I noticed you were still awake..."
"Yeah." She rubbed at her eyes with her good arm. "What'd you want, exactly?" She didn't seem to be buying his act, though.
"Well, I..." It was difficult to get the words out, to say the least. He couldn't believe he was even trying to say anything at all. She'd probably calm down after a couple of days if he left her alone. And she was just a cook, it wasn't like he owed her anything.
But she had defended Tai Lung. She didn't know any martial arts to speak of, and she had run straight into the middle of a fight that could have killed her. And he did owe her for that.
"I... I'm sorry. Thank you. For... For everything." He could feel himself blush from the embarrassment of his awkward apology, and he shifted uncomfortably as she stared at him, her expression completely unreadable.
Suddenly, she visibly relaxed, the frown falling from her face as her shoulders drooped into their usual cavalier slope. "I was waiting to hear something like that," she finally said. "I... I probably overreacted, anyway."
Shifu did his best to keep his jaw from dropping, but he couldn't keep himself from an astonished blink. "You... You did?" He wasn't used to Lin admitting that she was wrong, even in the most minor of matters. "I mean, yes, you did."
She glared at him at that.
"I mean, no, you didn't. Not at all."
Lin surprised him by laughing. "No, I did. I should be acting more grateful. I mean, you didn't hafta go and try to teach me kung fu. And it is pretty much your whole life, so I can see how that'd be your way of... Of thanking me, and all." She scratched behind her ear, avoiding eye contact with him. "So... yeah."
If he didn't know any better, he could swear she was blushing, though he could see how she would find the whole conversation as uncomfortable as he did. "Well then." He cleared his throat and straightened up, attempting to look much less bewildered than he actually was. "Now that that has been settled... We can resume your training."
She gave him that narrow-eyed look she always shot Tai Lung when she thought Shifu was being an ass, the one she thought he never noticed, but didn't say anything.
"What?" He didn't see what the problem was; he was doing her a favor, after all, and she had acknowledged as much.
"I already told you, I don't want to learn kung fu." She chopped through the air with her left hand to punctuate each word, her earlier aggravation returning.
"Why not?" he shot back, offended by the vehemence of her refusal. "You don't want to learn to defend yourself? To handle yourself in a fight?"
"I've made it this far without dying, I don't know what I'd need kung fu for," she snapped. She hovered her left arm in front of her a moment, as if she wanted to cross her arms but had thought better of it, and dropped her arm back to her side in favor of simply glaring at him.
He shook his head at her; she was far too stubborn for her own good, and she was refusing his help for no good reason at all, as far as he could tell. "Look at you!" He gestured toward her injured right arm. "If I hadn't come to save you, you could have been killed! Are you just going to rely on other people to come and save you for the rest of your life?"
"I never needed you to come and save me," she huffed, bristling at the implication. Of course, one of her pet peeves seemed to be the notion that she would ever need another person's help in any sort of matter, so it had probably been killing her inside that she'd needed him to save her. "I appreciate it, but I coulda gotten outta that scuffle alright."
He sincerely doubted that, but rather than outright tell her as much, he decided a less forceful but admittedly effective approach was in order, one that Master Oogway had been using on him since childhood. "And what if you didn't?" He kept the accusation out of his voice as much as he could, though some still made its way into his question.
She opened her mouth, but didn't speak. She didn't seem to know what to say, and he felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that she was very rarely rendered totally speechless, and it was probably a sign that he had upset her again. She didn't seem to be able to come up with an answer, though, so he went ahead and prodded her.
"What if you didn't?" he asked again, determined to get his point across, or to at least get her to give him a coherent reply.
Lin shook herself, frowning at him as she set her jaw in a show of determination. "At the time, it didn't matter to me, as long as Tai Lung was safe." She continued to glare at him for a moment before she settled down again and let out a long sigh, her eyes turning to the ground. "And I still feel the same way."
Shifu stared at her, stunned by the honesty in her voice. He would be the first to admit that he knew next to nothing about Lin, and trusted her just as little, but as far as he could tell she hadn't been lying. And even if he'd had any doubts as far as her demeanor was concerned, her actions against the bandits had been evidence enough that she was indeed willing to put herself at great risk for Tai Lung. The declaration that she was basically willing to lay her life down for the child, Shifu's child, was absolutely stunning. He had no idea what to even think about it, but he realized that he'd been staring at her in shock for quite some time and that he had to say something, and soon.
He managed to gather his wits enough to try to reassure her and said the first thing that came to mind. "It does matter what happens to you." He quickly realized what his reassurance had sounded like, and blushed. "For Tai Lung, I mean," he sputtered. "Not that I don't care if you die," he quickly added when he caught sight of the affronted look on her face. "I just meant that- that Tai Lung has become very attached to you, and I appreciate how much you care for him, and I do feel somewhat affectionate toward you- but I don't mean it like that, I just-"
She held out a hand, cutting off his inarticulate rambling. "You can stop making an ass outta yourself now, I get it."
He was so embarrassed that he couldn't even be offended by her rude interruption.
When she spoke again, there was a definite humor and warmth in her voice that hadn't been there before. "I feel somewhat affectionate toward you, too, boss." She gave him a firm pat on the arm. "But if you try to teach me kung fu for even one more second, I'll poison you and make it look like an accident," she added.
"But why?" he persisted. He didn't see how she could turn such an offer down- no one had ever turned down his tutelage before, and he hadn't actually believed that anyone ever would.
"Because I don't love it!" she snapped, quickly becoming annoyed again. "I don't even like it. And kung fu, that ain't just something you do, it's a way of life." She did have a point there. "I don't wanna get involved. I know how to hit someone in the crotch, and that's good enough for me."
Once again, Shifu blurted out the first thing that popped into his brain. "Then what can I teach you?" He immediately regretted asking her that, because he could tell from the expression on her face that she had something in mind. He just hoped that whatever it was, it didn't involve some sort of elaborate plan to humiliate him.
However, Lin's consistent habit of taking him by surprise held true. "Teach me how to use my left hand," she ordered, then held her hand up and wiggled her fingers.
"How to... Use it?" He wasn't sure that he wanted to know what she meant.
"You know, become ambidextrous," she clarified, putting his mind at ease. "Use it like I used to be able to use my right hand. Use chopsticks, chop up vegetables... Write." She gave a casual shrug at that. "I know it'll only take a couple weeks for me to heal up, but I can't stand being so... Disabled."
"That wording is a little offensive, don't you think?"
"Focus. Can you teach me?" She raised her eyebrows at him and he knew a challenge when he saw one.
He straightened himself up as much as he could and gave her a quick, decisive nod. "Yes. I can indeed teach you, and I will," he declared with all of his confidence; after all, how hard could such a task possibly prove to be? It would certainly be simpler than teaching her kung fu had been.
She squinted her eyes at him, as if she thought he might recant at any moment. Then, she nodded back at him. "Okay, then."
"Okay," he agreed.
They stared at each other.
"Right," he muttered, trying to find a positive way to end the conversation. Things had quickly taken a turn into awkward territory, but he didn't want to leave too quickly and offend her.
"Um... Thanks." She gestured with her left hand, like she might reach out and pat his arm again, then dropped it back down to her side. "I'm... Gonna get back to my room. 'Cause I'm kinda tired and all..."
"Yes, of course," he said a little too quickly. "Goodnight."
"Yeah, goodnight." She opened her door a tiny bit, so that he wouldn't be able to see into her room, and sidled back inside, closing the door much more gently than she had before.
"Goodnight," he said again, weakly, then cursed himself for floundering about like such a dithering fool.
She sighed from inside the room. "Okay, goodnight," she called back, obviously taking note of his behavior.
"Right," he muttered to himself, and backed away from the door to finally extract himself from the uncomfortable situation.
"Awkward," he heard her say to herself.
"Did you say something?" He slapped his hand to his forehead, wondering why he would ever do something like what he had just done.
"No," she called after him. "Goodnight now."
"Yes, goodnight." He turned around and ran down the hall to avoid humiliating himself even further. If he had ever had a more awkward exchange in his life than the end of that conversation, he couldn't remember it. He got to his room and immediately shut himself inside it. "What is wrong with me?" he spoke aloud, to no one in particular.
Maybe he just wasn't good at being nice to her. He could tell that things had changed between them, however subtle the change may have been. Perhaps it was because he'd thought she might die, and realized that he in fact did care, or maybe because he'd seen how much she cared for Tai Lung. Maybe it was the way she had thrown a table three times her size into a crocodile's head with one arm. He had to admit, despite the suspicion evoked in him by such an act, that it had been pretty spectacular. Either way, he silently prayed that the strange, awkward embarrassment that had suddenly cropped up between them wouldn't rear its ugly head again, especially if he was going to continue to teach her.
He let out an audible groan once his thoughts turned to the next day, and what it held in store for him. While he was certain that he was more than capable of training Lin to develop her fine motor skills in her left hand, he still had to face her after he had not only apologized to her face but also admitted that he, in some capacity, cared what happened to her. She would undoubtedly revert to the same insufferable smugness that had followed when he'd asked her not to quit. And on top of that, he was certain that she'd spend the entire day complaining about every single exercise he put her through, regardless of the intensity of said exercise. It would indeed be a long day, and the day after it, and the day after that one...
He stopped his thoughts there, and sat down in a lotus position on his bedroll in an attempt to reach some sort of calm, so that he would have a chance at falling asleep that night. "Inner peace," he reminded himself quietly. "Inner peace." He would simply not think about Lin's smug grin, or her grating remarks on his age or weight. "Inner peace," he ground out, momentarily clenching his hands into fists.
With a deep, harsh breath he managed to calm himself. "Inner. Peace."
He had the sneaking suspicion that he was not about to get any sleep that night.
A/N: I just wanna say sorry it took so long to mention Tai Lung's pursuit of the Dragon Scroll again, but better late than never I always say. And these musings are precisely why I was mean and took him out of the bandit fight. Plus, even Tai Lung's gotta fail every once in a while.
I know that Shifu's being rather mean in Tai Lung's recollection of the training, but just keep in mind that it's Lin. Imagine trying to teach someone something important while they ignore you and call you fat all day. And imagine that someone is Lin, made even grumpier by her injury. You can't really blame him. Or at least, I can't.
Man, this chapter was long with a lot of inner musings... Well, expect there to be a lot more inner musings to come, especially on Lin's end. And we'll see how this new form of training turns out, as well. Also, the next chapter has turned out... At least twice the length of a normal chapter. I'm hesitant to split it in half, so I want to ask you, the readers, your opinions. A double-long chapter for next update, or should I split it in two? Just let me know in your review. (I apologize for the rhyme).