Chapter 7

So This chapter is a little bit longer. With reference to everything burns by Anastasia featuring Ben moody and Iris by Goo Goo dolls and of couse addicted by Kelly Clarkson.

Such a self righteous freak. She thinks to herself as she is sitting in class. The teacher is going on and on but Bonnie's mind is on Damon Salvatore. Elena looks at her pretty much stressing out.

"Bon,Bonnie, Bonnie!" She whispers her name out quite loudly and it startles the people around them. Bonnie looks up at her.

"What?" She asks her, with an annoyed look on her face.

"Is the lesson that hard to understand? Why do you look so stressed out?" Elena asks her. Bonnie just shakes her head disagreeing that she is and both of them continue to pay attention to their teacher. Well not Bonnie anyway.

After school, the girls along with Caroline hang out at the Grill just to catch up with each other on what has been happening.

"Elena, how's….Damon?" She says with a pause before his name. Elena and Caroline give her a weird look.

"He's fine. Why the sudden bother?" Elena asks her.

"Yeah, since when did you ever give a damn about Damon?" Caroline asks her.

Bonnie's eyes travel all over before she answers.

"I don't care. I just hope you know he is not hurt. That's all. I mean I still hate him but he kind of did save my life." She says to her friends.

"Yeah, after he tried to kill you before, he was just guilty." Caroline reminds her.

"I guess so." Bonnie agrees and they move on to another topic.

She sits in her corner

Singing herself to sleep

Wrapped in all of the promises

that no one seems to keep

At home, Bonnie sits up in her bed thinking, about why Eric even came into her life, why her Grams died, why her life has pretty much taken a downturn. She cries to herself wishing life could be as perfect as most. She remembers how Elena has been through a lot too but she has Stefan to keep her on float. Not even allowing her to drown one bit. For her, she does have Caroline and now Elena back in her life but they can't be there forever, because Caroline as well has Matt. She thought Eric could be the Matt and Stefan for her, but she was extremely wrong about him. He seemed like the most genuine guy, but he was a bloodsucking vampire who was just out to ruin her life, except he was more straightforward than Damon Salvatore who she believed was another bloodsucking vampire who was out to ruin her life and almost took it. Yet, he saved her. Why? Why would he even care to? She found herself once again thinking about him. She slowly fell asleep with that thought. As she dreamt she saw Grams in a white dress, smiling at her and then saying,

"Bonnie, you are everything to me; I just want you to know that. You don't have to go through this anymore. You are strong."

"Grams? Are you leaving?" She asks her. There is a silent respond from Grams who smiles at her, walks towards her and kisses her forehead and slowly fades into the white light. Bonnie stands there crying out to her as she goes and then the next thing she knows she is up in her bed, still crying.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

Bonnie knows that walking alone in the dark is not safe but somehow she loves rebel against fear and goes ahead anyway. Taking a walk always helps her to clear her ever working mind. Lately, only filled with thoughts and memories of pain. Her dream had been a closure, to the nightmares she was having at least she had hoped so. Grams had silently said goodbye. Her eyes were as watery as the rain that flooded the ground. She never wanted to let her go but she had to so she could move on with her life.

When everything seems like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

" I guess life is all about going through pain just to know what it means to you." She says to herself, out loud, as she cries.

"Stop emoting little witch. It's scary. Especially at this hour of the day." Damon Salvatore comes up from behind. She is startled by his voice and quickly wipes her tears before she turns to face him.

"Go ahead Damon, enjoy poking fun and my pain and everyone else's pain. You don't have a heart at all. Everyone knows that." She says to him.

"Wow you really have it stored into your mind that I am the devil incarnated." Damon says to her as he walks up closer to her. "Well maybe I am."

He stands less than an inch away from her, which was so close that his voice felt like she was hearing him through headphones. She looks up into his eyes with fierceness in her own.

"Wow! I am so scared of that look. I am shaking. Do me a favor little witch, stop acting so tough. It's only going to cause you more pain, like it did." He looks into her eyes as he says that.

"You have no idea what pain is Damon, you pretty much forgot what it was ever since you gave up being human. You don't know what it means to feel it anymore." She replies him.

Damon looks away and laughs out loud then turns back to her.

" You obviously have no idea what it feels like to be rejected, again and again and again by the same person, who abandons you and makes you keep searching but end up not being able to find, because she makes you feel like you were just a game to her. You wish you could give up but you can't." Damon says to her this time his expression stays serious without a smirk. Bonnie looks at him with an inch of sympathy filling her face it she tries to hide it. There was so much going on in this guy's heart yet he acted the way he did. As if he had no sympathy at all.

"Well sorry to crash your emo party, but I have got to go! Got to bug my brother and his girlfriend." Damon says and walks away.

"Damon!" Bonnie stops him without even knowing why she did.

He stops and turns around and faces her. "You love calling my name and stopping me half way, don't you?" He says with sarcasm.

She was practically speechless; unaware of what she even said to him and it made her more nervous when he walked up to her again, this time there was not even an inch between them. He stood there waiting for her to say something.

"I….I…" She stops short as she gets lost in his eyes and quickly forces herself to snap out of it. "I have got to go." She says and runs off like she did when he tried to take the necklace from her. He stands there confused and just watches her run off like a little girl, running to her parents for protection.

"What the hell happened? Stupid girl!" She says out loud to herself as she closes her door. She wondered why she called him back and why she stood there looking into his eyes without moving until she had realized. She did not feel like herself at all. Her heart never stopped racing all the way home. It's like it could probably jump out of her chest. What was it about this vamp that no matter how much you hate him you can't get away from him? She wonders to herself.

It's like I'm stuck

It's like I'm giving up slowly

It's like I'm not me

While having lunch with the Elena, Caroline, Matt and Stefan, Bonnie was present yet not aware of what was being talked about cause her mind had been wandering off elsewhere.

"Don't you think Bonnie?" Was all she heard from Caroline.

Bonnie looks up at her with a blank expression on her face. Caroline awaits an answer from her but does not get any.

"Bon, are you even here?" Caroline asks her.

"I need to go somewhere a while, I will see you guys later." She says and then gets up and leaves. Everyone just look at each other and then back at her as she walks away. Stefan decides to follow her, to find out if she was ok.

"Bonnie, wait up." Stefan stops her.

"Stefan?" She acknowledges him.

"Are you okay? Did Damon say or do anything that may have hurt you, cause if he did…" She cuts him off.

"No, he didn't. He's the one who is hurt. You should really try to dig out everything he is keeping and covering up so much cause one day he is just going to break apart." She tells him that, smiles and then slowly walks away. Stefan ponders upon what she had said. Elena later catches up with him and leads him back to the lunch table.

Bonnie finds herself outside the Salvatore's place. Knowing that Stefan is out with the gang, there is only one person she had gone to visit. Damon opens the door and stands there surprised to see the petite character standing in front of him.

"If it isn't the feisty little witch? Stefan and Elena aren't here. It's not safe for me to be around you when I am alone." Damon pours out his gift of sarcasm to her.

"I know. I wanted to thank you. For saving me even though you know, you tried to kill me and made me hate you so much and I still do, but I am grateful. You can close the door on me now and I apologize for saying you have no idea what it's like to feel pain, you should really stop covering up all of it, it's not good." She tells him almost everything she had wanted Stefan to tell him. Again, Bonnie was doing things without knowing why she was even doing it.

"Are we done here?" Damon asks her and she nods her head agreeing. He then closes the door. As peeks through the hole, he sees her walking away. He feels a sense comfort at her words. He had earlier told Stefan that it would not be possible that it would not redeem him at all, his good deed. But it seemed like it had. At least that's what he had hoped.