A/N: Well, here is the reason I had to cut chapter 18 in half! Waiting for you in the depths of this chapter is the longest conversation of the fic to date, because I got a little carried away. Also, after a while I realized that this was going to be over 12,000 words long- about double the length of some of the most recent chapters (triple the length of the earlier ones). And I considered cutting this one in half, too. But then I decided I'd made you guys wait long enough, and so here it is in all its gigantic glory! I hope reading through it isn't too tedious. And, again, thanks to all of you who have put up with me through this adventure- and to those of you just joining me. You guys are awesome!
Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda is Dreamworks' property.
Chapter 19: Talk Doesn't Cook Rice
Lin glared at the kitchen door as she sliced her log of rice paste for stir-fried nian gao, waiting for Shifu to walk through it and start irritating her. She knew that it was only a matter of time before he showed up to scowl at her, ask her what she was making for dinner, find some way to make a huge fuss about it, and then eat it as if it were his last meal, even after he'd complained so much. And then there was the whole wearing a weight on her arm exercise, which she didn't see much of a point to- it was probably only a method for torturing her. She knew that she was far from innocent in their recent fights, but she tended to get very territorial in the kitchen.
Of course, she knew that there were other reasons for her to dread his arrival. Currently at the top of the list was the fact that, no matter what kind of mood either of them were in, she was always happy to see him. She knew that there must be something wrong with her, but she couldn't figure out exactly what the problem was. She had never been happy to see anyone one hundred percent of the time, not even her closest friends. There had even been times when she'd been unhappy to see Tai Lung (though to be fair, that was mainly because he had been up and rummaging through her cabinets for food in the middle of the night). Even when she didn't want Shifu around she was still happy to see him. She couldn't blame all of her problems on hormones, so she wondered if she had hit her head a little too hard back when those bandits had beaten her up. Maybe her brain had become addled from the violent confrontation.
"What is this?" Right on time, Shifu walked into the kitchen, took one look at the food she was preparing, and made the kind of face one would only expect to see on a finicky child.
"Your mother." And there it was again: she was inexplicably happy to see him.
He rolled his eyes at her as he approached the counter. "Your grace and civility are only matched by your cleanliness," he replied sarcastically, and began cleaning up after her.
She watched him pick up discarded garlic skins, onion roots, scattered grains of rice, and other various leavings from the counter and deposit them in the nearby compost bin; he was acting, and not for the first time, like a mother. She supposed she wasn't really one to talk, either. "Y'know, whenever you do shit like this I always feel like we're an old lesbian couple," she commented blithely, mostly to see what his reaction would be.
"What?" He stopped in his tracks and stared at her, his eye twitching.
She knew what the eye twitch meant, of course- she'd gotten to him. Still, she was the kind of person who liked to press her luck. "I'd be the butch one, though."
"I do not even know why I bother," he snapped. "I was attempting to be helpful, since you have not stopped whining for the past week about your injured arm."
She kept her poker face on, but he was going to get it for calling her whiny. She knew the perfect response, too; she simply surveyed him a moment with a thoughtful expression on her face, then said, "Yep, I'm definitely the man of the house."
He turned a bit red with anger at that. "You- you-"
"Make you feel like a natural woman?" she interrupted, marveling at how incredibly easy it all was.
He paused to glare at her a moment, then continued. "Do you have any idea-"
"What I've done to you?" she interrupted again, grinning at the look on his face.
"I suppose you could put it that way," he grumbled. "You-"
"Make you feel so good inside?"
"What- no! Sometimes I just want to-"
"Be close to me?" she wondered how long he would continue feeding her lines.
"No! You make me-"
"Feel so alive?"
"Stop that!" He was getting rather worked up over her interruptions. "You do not make me feel like a natural anything. You make me feel like I'm going to have a heart attack! You really want to know what you've done to me?"
"Testify, sister," she replied, leaning back on the counter.
"Alright! I'll tell you! Every time I see you I feel like my brain is about to explode from all the blood rushing to my head. You inspire nothing but unhappiness and rage in me! And the thought of facing another day with you in it just makes me feel so- so tired!"
"Oh." She stared back at him, surprised by his sincerity. "Well, uh... That was interesting." She supposed she shouldn't have been too put off by the outburst; after all, she had been trying to get a rise out of him. "Well, thanks for the insight. I'm just gonna go back to work now."
"And put on your weight," he added. "I haven't been spending my days with you for my health."
"Yeah, yeah." She let out a put-upon sigh as she turned back to her dinner preparations. "Y'know, you don't really need to hover around like that. Why not make yourself useful, for once? Go tell Tai Lung to get washed up- dinner's almost ready."
"Very well- but I expect to see you wearing that weight when I get back."
She snorted in response to that, but he didn't say anything back to her, and instead simply left without another word. She paused a moment, staring down at the vegetables on her cutting board, frowning to herself. She didn't know why his outburst was bothering her so much; he was bound to have snapped sooner or later- she should have expected it to happen sooner, actually. Still, she'd gotten the impression that something between them had changed, that perhaps there was actually a possibility that they would be able to put their differences aside. Or, rather, that Shifu would be able to put his differences aside. She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up in the first place, though- they fought way too much for that to ever happen.
She shook her head, then lit the stove so she could preheat her wok. She didn't understand why she was even thinking about any of this to begin with. In another couple of weeks she would be long gone, out of the Valley of Peace for good, and she'd be looking back on this and thinking about how ridiculous she'd been. Everything would be back to normal, and she'd finally be on her own again.
Yet, for some reason, the thought didn't seem to cheer her up.
Shifu cursed to himself as he searched for Tai Lung; somehow he had managed to upset Lin again. He seemed to have unwittingly become an expert at it; was there something that he wasn't getting, or was it just her? He didn't know why there was any doubt in his mind- of course it was just her. All he'd done was point out the obvious, and she'd somehow been offended by it. Besides, he was in the midst of doing her a favor. If anything, she should have been acting grateful. And the most infuriating part of her behavior was that even though she was clearly put off by what he'd said, she hadn't actually said so- she'd just kicked him out of the kitchen on some errand that he shouldn't have even agreed to- as if she had any right to order him around as if she were his wife or something of the sort-
"Master?"
"Ah! What?" He had just been entering the bathhouse when Tai Lung snuck up behind him, nearly giving him a heart attack.
"Sorry, Master," Tai Lung apologized with a bow. "I was just wondering what you were doing."
"Nothing," he answered quickly. "Just... Looking for you."
"Okay." They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Tai Lung asked, "What for?"
"Dinner is almost ready." Shifu tried his best not to sound too uncomfortable, but was unsuccessful. "So... It is about time for you to get cleaned up." What really pained him, though, was that it was so obvious that the message had come from Lin.
"Alright," he agreed, though with a slight air of reluctance.
Shifu frowned at the tone of Tai Lung's voice, but before he had a chance to say anything, the boy went on.
"Master, before I wash up, there was something I wanted to ask you." He squared his shoulders, his jaw set in a show of determined stubbornness that could only mean one thing: this question was most likely not going to be a pleasant one to answer.
Shifu momentarily contemplated refusing to even hear what his son had to say, but he knew that such a reaction would only be damaging at best. "Go on," he sighed, readying himself for anything.
"Why do you hate Lin so much?" The question was asked with such direct openness and innocence that it caught Shifu off-guard, despite his recent vow to be ready for anything.
Once he recovered from his initial surprise, though, he supposed an honest answer was due. "I... Well, I do not necessarily hate her." He tried to think of a proper way to describe his myriad of feelings (most of them negative) toward Lin, but only managed to come up empty. "To be perfectly honest, it's difficult to explain."
"Oh." Tai Lung squinted back at him, clearly confused by the answer. "So you don't hate her."
"No," he confirmed. "I do not." Of course, simply because he didn't hate her didn't mean he wasn't constantly infuriated by her, but it would probably be best to keep that to himself. "I just... Do not think that she is a good role model for you." He paused to raise an eyebrow at his son; the last thing he wanted was for the boy to continue taking cues from Lin, so it was important that he made his disapproval known. "But I did not mean to give off the wrong impression."
"Okay, then. I thought... Well, I mean... You've been kind of torturing her a lot, lately." Tai Lung, as was his custom when speaking his mind, stopped to wait for any repercussions that might come.
Shifu couldn't fault the boy for pointing out the truth, though; he would be lying if he said that he hadn't in some capacity enjoyed thinking up new painfully difficult exercises to put Lin through every day. Not to mention the priceless look on her face whenever he first introduced her to said exercises. "I didn't realize I was getting to her that much." He tried to keep the glee out of his voice.
"Yeah," Tai Lung sighed, relaxing considerably once it was clear that a punishment wouldn't be heading his way. "I know she's tough and all, but I think you should go a little easier on her, Master. I just don't think it's healthy for her to be cursing your name under her breath so much... And I think I heard her speaking in tongues or something the other day. I mean, I know that you're supposed to be putting her through some really hard training, but if she snaps it won't be pretty." He did have a point with that.
"You have no reason to worry," Shifu reassured him. "I won't push her too far. I promise." Though he supposed that he should probably have a chat with her after dinner to make absolutely sure. "Now go wash up- you wouldn't want to be late for dinner."
Tai Lung's eyes widened a bit at the suggestion that he could possibly incur Lin's wrath, then turned tail and ran into the bathhouse, presumably to clean himself up as quickly as possible.
"If only it was this easy to get him to meditate," Shifu muttered to himself as he turned and headed back toward the barracks.
He didn't see why Tai Lung was so concerned; personally, he didn't think any of Lin's exercises had been particularly grueling. Sure, they probably left her exhausted at the end of the day, but what good training didn't reap such results? And while he did get a certain vengeful enjoyment from the way she grumbled every time she had to pick up a grain of rice with chopsticks or copy the character for "determination" perfectly one thousand times, in the end it was for her own good. Besides, it wasn't as if she didn't get her fair share of kicks out of torturing him right back. Just the day before she had made a game out of dinner by forcing him to choose by smell alone which plate had not been spiked with red chili peppers- and he had lost.
He decided as he entered the barracks that he would not worry about it. He was sure that if Lin was behaving oddly at all, it was most likely part of her usual moodiness. There was nothing for him to concern himself with. Still, he stopped next to the doorway into the kitchen and peered in to make sure that she wasn't fuming or anything of the sort before stepping inside. "Tai Lung is on his way," he reported, only to get a distracted grunt in return. "Do you need help with anything?" He didn't even know why he was offering; what he should have done was grab something edible and make a hasty retreat. Then again, he had never been the type of person to retreat from anything, least of all a short-tempered cook who could barely go two minutes without a cup of tea. Speaking of which...
"Put some water on for tea," she ordered him without hesitation.
"And here I thought you never needed help with anything ever," he commented lightly.
She let out a put-upon sigh, as if she were being bothered by a toddler. "Shut up and boil the water." She poured some oil into her wok, then stood watching over it as if it were about to jump out and try to escape, while she rested her hand on a bowl full of mixed vegetables. "Stir-frying requires undivided attention," she informed him, an intensity in her voice that only came about when she was cooking.
"Right." He tried not to sound too skeptical, since she would most likely bite his head off for such an offense. "And this is because...?"
"The heat!" she exclaimed with such fervor that he took a step back. "Stir-frying is all about the intense heat. Not only that, but the regulation of said heat to maximize the efficiency of cooking- hence the rounded shape of the wok. The first ingredients- my vegetables here- are fried in the oil, then pushed up onto the cooler sides to prevent burning while I add my next ingredients. Yet the residual heat continues to cook them- are you following?"
He hadn't exactly been able to follow what she'd said, but he was somewhat afraid to say so. "Uhm- of course. Yes. Perfectly."
She let out a skeptical snort, then before he could work out a sarcastic reply she tossed the vegetables- he was able to identify some cabbage and carrots- into the wok, grabbed the wooden spoon she used for basically everything, and began to stir-fry. She did so with such confidence and apparent skill that he was, for a moment, speechless.
While they did have their many, many differences, Shifu still had to admit (reluctantly) that not only was he impressed by her skill and knowledge in the kitchen, but her passion for the subject as well. He continued to watch her with considerable interest as he set a pot of water on the stove; despite his lingering suspicions, Lin's insistence that she was simply an average cook seemed more and more plausible as time went on. Even if she was an actual cook, though, there was definitely more to her than she was telling him.
"You gonna stand around and stare at me all night or are you gonna assist me?" she suddenly snapped, breaking his train of thought.
"Er," he managed to reply before she started ordering him around some more.
"Whatever, just get out a pot and some tea- I want two parts Oolong, one part Jasmine. And don't question me. Once you got that done, set the table- teacups, obviously, and some of those wide shallow bowls- the green ones, not the brown. I don't like those brown ones. Oh, but before you do that make sure you give the table a wipe down, make sure there aren't any leftover crumbs or anything. And don't forget to set out napkins." She paused, looking pensive for a moment. "When you're done with that, clean off the counter for me."
He waited a moment for her to bark more orders at him, and when he was certain that she'd finished he asked with no small amount of sarcasm, "Is there anything else you would like me to do, my lord?"
"Nope," she answered, as if he had been perfectly sincere. "Hey, I like that. You should call me that all the time."
"You are so completely full of yourself that it is sickening," he observed.
"In case you didn't notice, I only got one hand here," she shot back with a frown. "So get cracking." She was definitely having a moody night- moodier than most, at least.
"I believe a 'please' would be in order."
"Please."
He rolled his eyes at her back, but otherwise went about doing as she'd asked; after all, she did only have one good hand. Even though he was helping her, she stopped speaking to him, and any comment he made was greeted with an annoyed grunt. He tried not to lose his temper, though; that would only make matters worse. Thankfully, it wasn't long before Tai Lung arrived for dinner; if anyone could improve Lin's mood, he could.
"Wow, whatever that is, it smells good," he complimented after bowing to Shifu. Whether he actually meant the compliment or simply sensed that Lin wasn't exactly in the best of moods, though, was difficult to gauge. "I could smell it from outside the barracks, too, and I thought I was gonna drown in my own drool!" Perhaps it was a little of both.
"Aw, kid, that's sweet." Lin, of course, was far from immune from flattery, especially when it came to her cooking. "But you don't hafta say that kinda stuff. Y'know what they say, the best compliment to a cook is silence at the dinner table." As if that were possible with her around.
He was tempted himself to attempt to flatter her, but held back; he would not stoop to such means simply to prevent some glaring and fat jokes. "Well, I should hope it is good," he settled on as he set the table. "It certainly took long enough to make."
"Almost as long as it takes you to poop," she replied. "Go on and siddown, Tai Lung."
Tai Lung sat down as she'd told him to, warily glancing back and forth between her and Shifu. "So... The weather is... Nice. Today."
Shifu glared at Lin as he wiped down the countertop and she glared right back as she dumped the stir-fried nian gao into a large serving dish, then poured the boiling water into a teapot to steep. He realized that he was being rather childish, but he didn't see what he had done to warrant such attitude from her. And her behavior was starting to affect his own mood, as well. "Yes. The weather is nice." He continued to glare as Lin served dinner and they sat down to eat, and pointedly cleared his throat when she attempted to pick at her food without the use of chopsticks.
In response, she picked up her chopsticks, holding them in a tight fist as she rudely stabbed at her dinner and shoved whatever she'd managed to skewer into her mouth.
"I have met toddlers with more manners and maturity than you," he informed her. "I will remind you that you asked me to help you, so I suggest you follow the rules I have set down for you and use your chopsticks properly." He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting for an argument.
However, she simply rolled her eyes at him and went about correcting her grip. She managed, however shakily, to get another bite of food into her mouth before she paused to glare at him. "Stop it," she suddenly snapped, dropping her chopsticks onto the table.
"Stop what?" Shifu played dumb, pretending to be much more interested in his dinner.
"Stop watching me eat," she elaborated. "It's creepy, and you're making me nervous."
"I am simply ensuring that you eat in a manner befitting of a grown woman," he shot back.
She let out an annoyed sigh, then shakily picked up her chopsticks and attempted to get back to eating her dinner. When she dropped them again, Shifu realized that the first instance had probably been an accident. She had been doing fairly well the past couple of nights, but perhaps her hand had become sore enough to keep her from gripping the slender utensils properly.
He almost offered his help, but reminded himself that she would not learn anything if he helped her. She wouldn't appreciate such a gesture of kindness, anyway. Instead, he finally dug into his own meal. It was delicious- salty and crispy with lots of garlic and just a hint of ginger, and after only a few bites the dish was quickly working its way onto his list of tea was good, too.
The rest of the meal passed in relative silence. Every now and then Tai Lung would start some small talk, but as soon as Shifu attempted to enter the conversation Lin would get snippy and then stop talking completely. He had been trying to learn how to pick his battles ever since he'd first started butting heads with Lin, but he found himself having a very hard time trying to keep his cool. Despite his temper threatening to boil over with every short answer and silent glare, he managed to make it through the meal without fighting with her.
However, after Tai Lung had been excused for his evening meditation, Shifu found himself faced with a dilemma. He wanted to take his leave as well, perhaps find Master Oogway to talk him down, but it was painfully obvious that Lin was exhausted and in need of some help cleaning up. He paused to debate the issue with himself, but soon found that there was really no point. He would (inexplicably) feel too guilty just leaving her there. He cursed his deeply ingrained sense of honor as he rolled up his sleeves and joined her at the wash basin in an attempt to help her do the dishes.
"Go away," she snapped the moment he plunged his hands into the dirty water.
"This will go by much more quickly if you stop acting like a petulant child and let me help you," he pointed out with as much patience as he could muster under the circumstances.
"How about we find out how quickly my foot can go by your ass?"
And with that comment, the last of his resolve snapped. "That is it!" He wasn't about to stand by and be made a fool of while she took advantage of his good nature. "You have been nasty and miserable all evening, and I am sick of it. Exactly what is your problem, anyway- aside from the usual?"
She glared at him a moment, an angry frown on her face. "You wanna know what my problem is? You're an asshole."
"What?" He couldn't believe that after everything he'd done for her, she was calling him names.
"And you know what? You're a good guy, too. It's a strange combination for me, but I seen worse." She threw her left arm up in frustration, then plunged it back into the wash basin with a small splash. "You got some issues, and so does everyone. I get it. But it's hard for me to be around you all day, when you're trying to teach me anything, because when you teach, you're an asshole. And you treat me like a kid when I ain't one."
Shifu felt his fur bristling as she spoke; he hadn't exactly been looking for a fight, but somehow Lin always managed to drag one out of him. "Like you're anyone to be criticizing! You swear, you drink, and who knows what else you do when you're down in the village! You can't even bring yourself to form individual words, instead you say things like 'wanna' and 'ain't,' but you act like you're so much smarter than everyone else."
"Don't start with me," she grumbled, and she sounded like somebody's mother when she said it. "You think you're so well-traveled and educated just 'cause you're a little older 'an me? Listen, Gramps, I could talk as fancy as I wanted to, but I don't. And you know why? Because I certainly do not want to. How's about that there? Yeah, I know squat about kung fu, but I been to more cities 'an you can even name, I can navigate my way anywhere just using the stars or the position of the sun in the sky, and I can sure as hell cook the pants offa you. I do appreciate the nice things you're doing for me, but quit talking down to me. Please."
"Maybe I would be less condescending if you weren't constantly acting like I am some kind of neanderthal! Even when you don't criticize me, you act so smug and disapproving. You were right, back when you said that I- we- got along fine without you. You may not agree with everything I say and do, but your way is not necessarily the right way, and it is certainly not the only way."
"Well same to you, you walking headache! You gotta make everything so much more difficult than it needs to be, because you refuse to try to understand any point of view other 'an your own. In fact, you are so uptight that I had to force your own son to eat dinner with you!"
"How would you know anything about how to act around others? Apparently, you don't need anyone, remember?"
She had been trying to wash dishes with one hand the entire argument, but at that she stopped and glared at him. Then she splashed him in the face with dirty dish water. "So there."
"That wasn't an argument!" he coughed out, rubbing water out of his eyes. "That was-" He was interrupted when she splashed him again. "Stop it!" He ducked out of the way as she splashed at him again, then lunged toward the basin and plunged both hands into the water, splashing her back.
"Hey!" she shrieked, but kept tossing water at him, and he returned the favor.
"Um, what're you guys doing?"
He stopped in his tracks at the sight of Tai Lung standing in the kitchen, staring open-mouthed at them. He realized then that he had just been in a juvenile splash fight with Lin, and there was absolutely no excuse that he could think up to explain his behavior.
"Doing the dishes," Lin replied to the question as calmly as if that was exactly what they had been doing.
"...Oh." Tai Lung still looked confused. "I was gonna ask for some more tea, but I guess you guys are busy, so... Yeah. I'll just... Go back to meditating, now." He sidled out of the room, still staring at them.
Lin burst out laughing. "We appear to be evenly matched."
"I am glad you find it so funny," Shifu grumbled sarcastically. He was soaking wet, and there were bits of who-knew-what all over him from the filthy water.
"You're covered in crap," she pointed out needlessly, still laughing like a young girl.
"So are you." He started picking stray noodles and what appeared to be pieces of vegetable off of himself, frowning; it was bad enough that he'd been lured into such a childish fight, but to be caught at it by Tai Lung was just humiliating.
"C'mere," Lin said suddenly, and before he could react she grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him closer.
He wasn't sure what to expect, but for some reason he didn't resist. "W-what?"
"Here," she replied vaguely, reaching behind his head and pulling him down, so that they were eye-level.
"I-I don't think this is... Uhm..." He trailed off as Lin stuck her hand right into his ear and pulled out a large chunk of tofu. "Oh."
"There ya go!" She turned back to the wash bin and tossed the tofu in, then started brushing the waterlogged garbage off of herself, letting it all fall to the floor.
He realized that he was still leaning over, and straightened himself up immediately, before she could see him acting like that and draw conclusions. "...Thank you," he muttered, then cleared his throat.
"Eh," she replied. "It's the least I can do after getting on your case all the time. Not that you don't deserve it."
Shifu stared at her, blinking slowly. He could not believe that her mood had taken such a turn- she hadn't even made a comment about the size of his ears. "You must actually have some sort of mental problem," he stated flatly.
"Wow," she said, keeping her eyes trained on her own chest as she attempted to wipe bits of food off of it. "Just wow. I go outta my way to be nice, and this's your reaction? Move away from me."
"You were the one acting horrible all night," he pointed out. "But now you're ready to behave like a normal person because you found this-" he waved his hands about to indicate their general situation- "funny? You cannot blame me for finding that just a tad unusual."
"That's not the only reason," she huffed, and looked over her shoulder to inspect her back for any debris. "Look at it this way: my frustration and anger toward you had been building up for a while, with little to no outlet. It was like having to pee. Now that I've told you that you're an asshole and splashed dirty dish water in your face, I feel a lot better." She then turned her back to him. "You see any crap on me?"
"No, but you are certainly full of it." He didn't see why she had any reason to direct her anger or frustration at him, but at the same time actually bringing this concern up would definitely start a new fight. And while he knew that fighting with her was as inevitable as the sun rising and setting each day, he wanted to keep the peace for the moment, because he sensed that this was a good time to bring up some of his more recent concerns with her.
Lin snorted at his response, then turned around and suddenly grabbed him by the arm and gave it a tug. "Turn around, now," she ordered, even though she was already physically forcing him to do so.
"Speaking of being treated like a child," he grumbled, but allowed her to inspect his back for stray food particles anyway.
She ignored his comment, and after a pause that seemed to him far too long for a simple once over she finally cleared her throat. "You're good."
"Finally," he sighed, and turned to face her again. He waited for her to say something in return, perhaps a comment on his weight, but she remained silent and nervously tugged at her sling under his scrutiny. "Leave it alone," he snapped immediately, then regretted saying anything at all, because he sounded so... Protective. Which was not the case.
"Right." She seemed to snap out of her momentary awkwardness and let out a small yawn. "Well, if that's all, I'm kinda tired and I gotta finish all this up..."
"Actually, there is something else." He paused for a moment, trying to think of some way to subtly begin questioning her about all the doubts that had arisen in his mind over the past week or so, but came up empty. He supposed she would have been able to spot his ploy, anyway, and decided that one more try as his usual approach couldn't hurt too much. "Since we appear to have 'made up,' as it were, I am going to be forthright. There are a few questions I need to ask you." He knew that her response would be evasive at best, enraged at worse, but he still needed to ask, as much to sate his own curiosity as to attempt to trust her, as Master Oogway had asked him to on so many occasions.
She hesitated to answer him, apparently thinking over his request. "Can't guarantee I'll answer," she replied calmly, but firmly, and rather than continuing with the dishes she headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked warily, not moving from the spot he stood in.
She laughed at him. "Yeesh, already with the questions." She then waved her hand to beckon him. "C'mon, I got a feeling I'm gonna need some fresh air for this."
"Right," he agreed, satisfied for the moment that she had even agreed to talk with him in the first place. The conversation could only go downhill from here, though. Still, he followed her out of the barracks and onto the path that led around the grounds, silent as he contemplated what to ask first.
"I got a question for you, actually," she suddenly admitted, glancing up toward the sky.
"Go ahead." He was actually quite hesitant to hear what she would ask, but it was only fair, considering all the questions he had in mind for her.
"Why's it matter so much to you?" She didn't sound accusing, just curious. "I mean, why should you care where I was born or how I got to the Valley of Peace, anyway? D'you feel like you'll be able to trust me if you know everything about me? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's not what trust is about." Her statement had been surprisingly wise, and if she had worded it more metaphorically and added something of an accent, he could have sworn that it was something Oogway would say. "Anyway," she went on, "even so, why does it matter? Sure, there mighta been stuff in the past that changed me, shaped who I am. But the thing is, knowing that stuff won't change a damn thing. I am who I am, and that's the way it is."
He actually stopped walking, he was so struck by her words. He hadn't thought Lin was capable of such sincere and thoughtful reasoning, or that if she was she certainly wouldn't show that side of herself to him. He was starting to see why his master liked and trusted her. "I see," was all he could think to say. After all, she had implored him to get to know her, and to trust in who she was rather than whatever he might know of her past.
And while that in itself had given him much to think about, he was also struck by the realization that while he had convinced himself up until that very night that he knew absolutely nothing about her, that was far from the truth. He knew that she had an unusual, but admittedly good sense of humor, and he knew that she was witty, and smarter than he gave her credit for most of the time. He knew that she was brave, in her own way, and that she guarded herself so closely that it was doubtful she had been able to make many meaningful connections in her life. And most importantly, he knew that she cared very much for Tai Lung. Perhaps she even loved him. And as he ran through all these things and more in his mind, it occurred to him that at least in some small way, he had begun to understand her, as well.
"You gonna ask me anything?" She gave him a nudge with her elbow, pulling him out of his contemplation.
"I just... You have a point," he admitted grudgingly. And while he did indeed mean that, he still wanted to know the answers to all the questions that remained in his mind. Because while whatever lay in her past may have been of no consequence, there was an equal chance that there was something important she wasn't telling him, something that he had a right to know if there was a chance that it could follow her to the Valley and bring harm to its citizens. Furthermore, he was still unclear as to what her intentions in staying with them were, and he knew without a doubt that her situation was more complicated than the simple need for a job and a place to live. "I still want to ask you a few things."
"Fair enough," she conceded. "Just thought I'd show you my point of view."
He decided to address what had bothered him most about what he'd observed while fighting off the bandits, and in his subsequent attempted training of her. "You're strong."
"Uh... Thanks?" She didn't appear to get what he was trying to say.
"What I mean is, you're stronger than you should be. For a cook, I mean. I was just wondering how that is." He raised his eyebrows, awaiting her defensive denial.
"Did it ever occur to you that I've cooked for more 'an two or three people in the past?" she shot back, catching him by surprise. "Imagine you gotta feed thirty or forty people, and you gotta do it all in one pot. A pot is a chunk of solid metal, usually iron. And you gotta lift it, and carry it around. Then there're the other components of a large meal- the appetizer, the soup, the wine, the dessert, the greens- if you're cooking for people who eat greens. And if you're doing all that by yourself, of course you'd need to be strong. I mean, some of those pots and pans can weigh a lot. And then you gotta make room for all those people, which means you gotta be able to pick up and move chairs and tables. Hence, I'm a bit stronger 'an I look. It ain't such a big deal."
"And you moved these tables with one arm, which happens to not even be on your dominant side?" He knew that there could be a lot of heavy lifting in a kitchen when there were a large amount of mouths to feed, but her story still didn't entirely account for what he'd witnessed.
"I toldya that the adrenaline-"
"Yes, I get that," he interrupted, "and yet your left arm remained conspicuously uninjured, which suggests to me that it might not have been such an unusual feat for you to lift that table."
She rolled her eyes at that. "It wasn't even a big table, and the wood was lightweight! It probably didn't weigh any more 'an you or I do."
"So you're saying you could lift me with one arm?" he asked, knowing that she had a hard time backing down from a challenge.
"If you didn't struggle, yeah," she answered smugly. "Though keep eating the way you do 'an that won't be true for very much longer."
"Har har," he grumbled sarcastically, though there were more questions bubbling up inside his mind as a result of her admission. "So if you're strong enough to lift me, then why have I seen you struggle with groceries in the past?" Perhaps she'd simply been acting so as to throw him off her scent.
"I said I could lift you, I didn't say I wouldn't have a hard time doing it." She grinned at him at that, once again suggesting that he was overweight.
"Fine." He still wanted answers, though. "Just tell me the truth. How strong are you, exactly?"
"You're the kung fu master," she answered evasively, "you tell me."
He could see that he wasn't going to get any further in his current line of questioning, though she had been more compliant than he'd ever dreamed she would be. "Point taken," he conceded, and decided to switch topics. "So... I noticed that you tend to... Carry knives on you."
She suddenly stopped on the path they'd been walking along, and for a moment he assumed that she'd been stricken by his question before he realized that she'd paused at the vegetable garden that she and Tai Lung had been staunchly maintaining. Or rather, the barren patch of dirt. "Yep, I do," she confirmed, approaching the dirt to squat in front of it and squint at it in the darkness. "Y'know, at least some of these shoulda sprouted by now..." She peered down at it, as if her gaze alone would will the stubborn seeds to grow.
Shifu resisted the urge to snap at her for treating him so flippantly, and refused to lose his resolve. "Why would you carry knives on you? The Valley of Peace is a relatively safe place, the bandit attack not withstanding... And I don't see why you'd need to suddenly chop vegetables in the middle of the street."
"A knife is a utility item," she replied reasonably, scooping some dirt from the garden into her cupped hand and allowing it to fall back to its resting place through her fingers. "You'd be surprised by how versatile it can be." She then wiped her palm on her knee to get rid of any residual earth on her hand and stood up again. "And I like to be prepared." This last statement, though casual and innocuous enough, still made him wonder what Lin thought she needed to be prepared for.
He didn't think he'd be getting much more out of her on that particular subject, either, and there were more pressing issues to be discussed. "I see." He spoke judiciously, and followed her once she began walking on the path again. He suspected that they were headed toward the peach tree, but was surprised when she suddenly turned onto a much narrower off-shoot of the path that was almost completely overgrown with underbrush and covered by the large trees that lined it. "Where are you headed?"
"Just around," she answered non-commitally. "What makes you think I have a destination in mind?"
He rolled that particular question over and over in his mind as he followed her, contemplating its meaning; it could be an insight into her own peculiar philosophy, the entirety of which was still unclear to him. Then again, she could have been attempting to impart him with some sort of wisdom that she believed strengthened her argument about the past not mattering, though he couldn't yet see how. And there was, of course, the most obvious answer: that it had been a simple, innocent question that had meant nothing more than it seemed to mean. "...What?" he finally asked, his mind jumbled and confused with the possibilities.
"I just said I wanted some air," she replied, squinting her eyes at him as if she thought he was crazy. "I never said I was going anywhere."
"Oh." He supposed that sometimes the obvious answer was the correct one; he cleared his throat, somewhat embarrassed by how much he'd attempted to read into what she'd said. "In that case, I have some more questions for you."
"Of course," she agreed, sounding almost friendly. "If you didn't, you wouldn't still be here, now, would you?" That, however, had most definitely not been innocuous, and the way she raised her eyebrows at him proved it.
He felt himself blushing at the accusation, then reminded himself that there was really no reason for him to feel ashamed; after all, why should he ever feel obligated to spend time with her? She was the cook, it wasn't as if she were his friend. "I have nothing to feel guilt over, so stop trying to make me feel guilty." He waited for her to throw a scathing remark his way, but she remained silent, as if mulling over his words. He felt rather awkward at that, and thought it best to wait a moment for her to settle down before he launched into his next series of inquiries; in an attempt to at least ignore the awkward tension between them, he began to more closely observe their surroundings.
The path they were walking along saw very little travel compared to the others on the mountain, and thus was littered with fallen leaves and seed pods, with the occasional tree root springing up before them. To the left there was only a small patch of grass before the land dropped away in one of the many sheer rock faces on the Jade Mountain, over which a few twinkling lights belonging to residents of the valley were visible. Meanwhile, their right side was crowded with trees, whose twisting branches reached out over the path and offered ample cover for privacy, while the stars were still visible through some patches between the large green leaves.
He had traveled this path often in his youth, using it as a place to play as a small child and then as he became a little older as a place to make some of his few feeble attempts at romance. From what he could remember, it actually looped around to the back of the barracks, though in a much more roundabout way than the main path did. He risked a glance at Lin, and she seemed to be taking in their surroundings just as he had, though with considerably more wonder and open appreciation than he had. "You have never walked this way before?" he asked, rather impulsively.
She blinked, as if coming out of a trance, and looked at him as if he should already know the answer to that. "I walk here all the time. Why'd you even ask that?"
"Well, you looked like you'd never seen it before..." He trailed off, embarrassed that he'd just implied that he had been staring at her.
"I just appreciate the beauty of it all... The stars in the sky, the lights in the valley, the, uh... The trees... And stuff." She paused to clear her throat. "So you wanted to grill me some more?"
"Ah, yes. That." He cleared his throat and straightened up a bit, trying his best to look authoritative and not at all awkward. "Well then." He supposed he might as well just jump right back in. "How is it that you know so much about crocodile anatomy?"
"That's one of your questions?" She let out an amused snort. "What's that gotta do with anything, anyway? What a dumb question."
"And yet you are avoiding it," he pointed out.
"I'm not avoiding it," she huffed, rolling her eyes at him. "I'm just telling you how ridiculous it is. I mean, how else would I know about crocodile anatomy except from reading?"
He raised an eyebrow at her answer. "That is a strange topic to read about."
"Well, I like to read about a lotta different stuff." She definitely sounded more defensive than she should have been. "And it came in handy, didn't it? Like I said before, I like to be prepared for any eventuality, plus I'm a traveler. Bandit groups are mainly made up of predatory animals like crocodiles and wolves, so wouldn't it make sense for me to read up on their anatomy?" She paused a moment, a contemplative expression crossing her face. "Plus I was kinda curious about their genitals-"
"Alright, that's enough," he interrupted before she could get any further. "I believe you." He didn't believe her, of course, but neither did he want to hear what she'd been about to say.
"You're a terrible liar." She grinned at him, obviously amused by his haste in trying to stop her train of thought. "But I'll giveya a break, for once, and change the subject."
"Thank you," he sighed, relieved. "So if you've read so much about bandits, you should have known well enough to run, isn't that right?"
"Oh, shut up," she replied, punching him in the arm. "I tried to run, y'know. But I guess I shoulda known that running wouldn't exactly work out. And before you say anything: yes, you saved us, thank you- again."
"I was not going to say anything." He avoided her accusatory gaze, clearing his throat before continuing the conversation. "And those bandits weren't much trouble compared to the group I faced before them. Yet I got the impression that they were somehow related..."
"That's 'cause they were the guys who were too weak or inept to go on the first mission," she pointed out in her usual know-it-all manner. "The leaders of the two groups were probably brothers or cousins or something."
Shifu resisted the urge to glare at her, instead voicing the other concern that had been on his mind regarding the bandits. "I cannot help but wonder how the bandits were able to escape detection as they crossed the thread of hope." The clan of cranes who dutifully patrolled the bridge came to mind as he spoke; they were normally quite vigilant.
"Oh, that's easy," Lin replied as casually as if she were explaining how to bake one of her pies. "All you gotta do is disguise yourself as a merchant and his whole, y'know, band. I mean, there were what? A dozen of those crocodiles? A really successful merchant, depending on the area he's from and where he's going, could have twice that many assistants. And they usually stick within their own species, so even that's not unusual. Plus, if he's going on a long trip he might even bring his family... Along..." She trailed off once she finally noticed the way Shifu was staring at her with raised eyebrows.
It took him a few seconds to shake himself out of his stunned silence. "...And how would you know something like that?" He'd known that Lin's past was inevitably shady, but this information that seemed to be so commonplace for her, on top of her seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of all things having to do with bandits... It didn't speak well for her background.
"I, uhm... Uh..." She didn't seem to be able to answer him, either.
And there was another thing, something he'd taken for granted when it had happened. "How did you know the bandit leader's name, anyway?" He had assumed she'd simply overheard it during the battle, the way he'd overheard the name of that inept crocodile she had been tormenting. Now, though, he wasn't so sure.
"I heard one of his lackeys call him that!" she snapped, frowning at the implication. "What, you think I'm some kinda bandit myself? Don't get me wrong, I never had any personal beef with bandits except for those crocodiles-"
"Are you saying that you don't have a problem with bandits?" he asked incredulously.
"Well, no," she answered, though from the way she was squaring her shoulders and setting her jaw, it appeared as though she wasn't going to be in the mood to talk for very much longer.
Still, he needed answers to this revelation; she didn't appear to be lying about not being a bandit herself, but then why would she act so nonchalant about them? And how could she possibly know how to evade detection while entering the Valley of Peace, unless she had done the same herself? "I am waiting for some answers," he informed her bluntly. "Why would you not have a problem with bandits?"
"It's complicated!" she snapped, bristling. It was obvious that the subject was getting close to rather personal information.
"Tell me." He refused to back down, though; he had gone long enough without getting a straight answer from her, and he deserved to know this kind of thing. "And I am not going to let you get away with not answering me- this is important, this time. If you can't give me a straight answer, then I will fire you. And I mean that. No more bluffs." He knew that his tone was probably harsher than need be, but he had seen his son in danger once already, and he needed to know that it wouldn't happen again (not until Tai Lung had reached adulthood, anyway).
Lin, though, was as stubborn as ever. "Yeah, sure, no bluffing," she grumbled, rolling her eyes at him.
"Absolutely none," he confirmed. "I have Tai Lung's safety to think about. If you want to stay here, then you'll have to give me one good reason you would feel any sort of leniency toward bandits, and it had better be the truth. Otherwise, injured or not, you will be leaving in the morning." He didn't cross his arms behind his back or tuck his hands into his sleeves as he normally did when speaking authoritatively, but he felt that the situation did not warrant it; he knew that no amount of posturing would ever convince her to speak the truth. However, he hoped that the passion in his voice would convince her.
She locked eyes with him, staring him down for what seemed like minutes, though it was probably only a few moments, then let out a heavy sigh. "I don't like to talk about this kinda stuff, y'know..." She reached up and scratched behind her ear, then continued. "But okay, if you insist. Y'see... How do I put it? Well, eight years ago, I was- I was traveling. Y'know, around." She paused to make a circular gesture with her hand. "Around places and stuff."
"You'll have to be a bit more specific than that to convince me," Shifu informed her, narrowing his eyes in a clear show of suspicion; even after agreeing to tell him the truth, she was still trying to dodge around actually telling him anything, and he didn't like it.
"Yeah, I get it," she huffed. "So anyway, I was traveling. And I was young and kinda... In a bit of a tough spot, y'know." She paused again and cleared her throat, her eyes darting around to look at anything but him. "And I guess you could say that some bandits saved me."
"Huh?" He hadn't expected that, though of course he had no way of knowing whether or not it was the truth. Still, while he had the distinct impression that there was a lot that she was trying to hide, that particular detail did indeed seem to be truthful.
"Well, they didn't mean to. They were actually burning down my, uh, camp. And robbing, erm... Me. They were robbing me blind. But it turned out to help me. It helped me out a lot." Again, she was only telling him as much of the truth as she saw fit. "And besides, bandits mainly target merchants, and I hate merchants." A sudden conviction entered her voice at that as her expression hardened to match it. "They're all scum, all the ones I've met, anyway. At least bandits- most of 'em, that is- have some sort of unspoken code. Merchants, they're worse than thieves- there's no room for anything in their hearts but money, cold hard cash. And that is a fact." As she spoke, she had clenched her left hand into a tight fist, shaking at her side. "They are all a bunch of good-for-nothing, selfish, greedy, idiotic, simpering-"
"Lin," Shifu finally interrupted, extremely put off by her sudden show of unabashed hatred. "That's enough," was all he could think to say. He'd known that she was capable of anger, but he had never seen her get quite so worked up over anything before. Even when she'd faced the bandits, had barreled headlong into a fight she couldn't win to defend Tai Lung, she had been angry and determined, but not hateful.
"Sorry," she replied, apparently snapping out of her rant and returning to her normal casual attitude. "I just get a little worked up sometimes... Y'know, about sensitive issues."
"If you say 'you know' to me one more time I think I might have an aneurysm," he replied, though amazingly enough he was mainly trying to cheer her up. Where that had come from, he had no clue.
It appeared to work, too, as a small grin formed on her face and she let out a snort of laughter. "Yeah, yeah, real cute." She even gave him a punch in the arm, a surefire sign that her mood was improving.
While he would have liked to keep her that way, they were having this conversation for a reason. And he had yet to ask her his most important question- at least his most important question for the evening. "There's something else I would like to know about."
Her face instantly fell. "Oh." She didn't protest, though, which was a good sign.
"Exactly what were you doing in Shangba? And when? I know you've said that you only passed through, but you seemed... Nervous, almost, when Master Oogway mentioned it. And as for Shanghai- have you really never been there?" He knew that it was a barrage of questions all at once, but he simply wanted to get the interrogation over with.
Surprisingly, she simply shrugged. "I'm afraid there's nothing exciting to tell. I never been to Shanghai, and as for Shangba... I just happened to pass through the place. That's all."
"Then why were you acting so strangely?" he pressed, leaning in closer as he awaited her response.
She was definitely becoming flustered. "Well, I... Uh... The thing is- is..." She trailed off and looked away from him, toward the trees. "You're kinda in my personal space," she grumbled.
He stepped away from her without argument, since there was a chance his compliance would convince her to answer him. "Well?"
With a quiet sigh, she shook her head at him. "If you think I acted nervous back then, it was probably just me being tired or something. I honestly don't remember. Sorry."
He had a feeling that she was straight-out lying, but once again he could see that he wasn't going to be able to extract any more information from her than that, at least not for the night. "I see," he answered judiciously. "So you're just an ordinary cook."
"Well, I like to think of myself as a little unique." Her tone lightened up to its usual amused lilt, further confirming that she would not be answering any more questions. "I mean, ordinary just sounds so boring."
"You really should learn some humility," he pointed out. "Pride always comes before a fall."
She let out a bark of laughter at his lecture, and a note of bitterness entered her voice. "You have no idea."
Shifu blinked back at her, curious as to what she was referencing. He truly did have no idea about her past, even after their discussion; he had always thought that persistence won the day, but he was starting to think that Lin's resolve was even greater than his own. "You could enlighten me," he suggested slowly, though he doubted his words would reach her.
"Ah, it's nothing," she predictably dismissed, shrugging. "I'm just being a whiny little bitch. I don't got that much to complain about, really."
He wondered if that were really true. "Alright, then." He wasn't going to push his luck, though. Perhaps what he needed to get the information he wanted from her was just a little more subtlety. While subtlety wasn't exactly his strong point, it was at least worth a try.
"Hey," she suddenly said, and slapped him in the arm to get his attention. "Listen up."
"I'm listening," he grumbled, leaning away from her in case she tried to hit him again.
"Y'know, I liked you without knowing anything about your past or even your motivations, and I trusted you without knowing that stuff, too," she went on, apparently simply for the sake of telling him.
He felt himself blush just a little, because he was embarrassed that she was capable of something that he was not, and because he was also embarrassed to hear that she truly did like and trust him, as much as she poked fun at him and intentionally got on his nerves.
"That being said, there's something I gotta tellya," she admitted. "Oogway told me about how he met you. About your whole... Family-village-childhood... Stuff."
Shifu blinked back at her, stunned by the admission. While he knew that Master Oogway had a reason, a good reason for everything, he couldn't help the surge of anger and resentment at knowing that his master would so willingly offer up such a personal and painful part of his life to her.
But, unexpectedly, she gave him a brief and gentle pat on the shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, and from her tone of voice she must have meant it.
He couldn't recall having ever heard those words from her mouth, not with sincerity, at least. "W-what...?" He shook his head, and with some effort he managed to get over his shock enough to work out a coherent response. "You don't have to say that. All of that happened a long time ago, and I try not to dwell on it..." He trailed off as he realized that she'd once again made her point about her past, and then he became truly furious, because she had used his most painful memory against him in a petty argument. He stopped in his tracks and turned to shout at her, but she cut him short.
"Look, that's not what I meant," she said, still sounding reasonable and understanding. "I mean I'm sorry that I let Oogway tell me that. I'm sorry that I know it. Because I know you don't want me to, or at least I wouldn't want me to if I were you."
His rage died down as he realized he'd completely misinterpreted what she'd said, and he blushed again, this time out of shame. "It's fine," he muttered, then turned away from her and continued to walk. He found it hard to believe that she'd had ammunition against him, information she could have used to further her argument, but hadn't. That she'd actually apologized to him for even having such information to begin with. Yet she had.
"For what it's worth," she spoke up again, "I understand why you don't like to talk about it."
He eyed her suspiciously, waiting for some kind of hook or joke, but nothing came. "...Thank you," he finally answered, though a little curtly. He waited for her to continue, to try to get him to actually talk to her about it- after all, Master Oogway had done so an innumerable amount of times, though not successfully. "You're not going to ask me about it?" He realized that he sounded impatient, but he wanted to get the exchange over with.
She shrugged, once again catching him off-guard. "Nope. I'm the kinda girl who likes to follow her own philosophies, if it's all the same to you." Whether she meant that it wouldn't be fair of her to ask when she refused to answer so many of his own questions or whether she simply didn't care, he couldn't tell.
An idea did occur to him, though, and he went ahead and tested it. "So... If I were to simply volunteer such information, would you do the same for me?" He wouldn't actually go through with telling her, of course, but he was curious as to what her answer would be.
"Nope." She gave him a supposedly friendly punch on the arm. "Sorry, big guy, but I ain't talking."
He narrowed his eyes at her a moment. "...That is the first time in my life I have ever been called 'big guy,' by anyone."
She started laughing at the admission, and for once the sound didn't grate on his nerves. "Y'know, you really crack me up sometimes!" Judging by who it was coming from, the statement was most likely a compliment.
"And you have quite an impressive side punch for a beginner," he returned.
"Wow, don't lay it on too thick, there," she teased. "I dunno how you stayed a bachelor so long with that kinda arsenal. Yowza."
He rolled his eyes at her, though he had to admit that there was less utter loathing and frustration in the gesture than usual. "Do me a favor and never use the word 'yowza' in my presence again. I wouldn't want to lose any more brain cells than I already have just from hearing it uttered aloud."
She laughed at him again at that, and he just crossed his arms while he waited for her to calm down. "Aw, don't look so offended," she commented lightly when she caught sight of him. "Y'know, as easily amused as I am, it ain't often that I meet people who make me laugh as much as you can."
"I'll assume that was meant as a compliment." He blinked at her, surprised that she hadn't followed up with an insult, then lapsed into silence as they picked their way along the circuitous path, toward the back entrance of the barracks. For once, though, the silence wasn't awkward- not entirely, anyway. He felt as though they'd lapsed into some sort of unusual companionship, one that was definitely fragile and bound to be short-lived, but at least for the moment it was relatively peaceful.
He spared another glance in Lin's direction, only to see her staring up at the sky, a small smile on her face. It wasn't her usual smug smirk or sarcastic grin, though; she was genuinely smiling, an expression of simple happiness on her face. He briefly considered pointing this out to her, and urging her to do so more often, for the expression lit up her features in a way he'd never seen before. For the first time ever, she actually looked approachable. However, he knew that if he ever said anything of the like she'd snap his head off for it. He realized that he was staring at her, and felt somewhat disgusted at the thought that he must look like some sort of love struck idiot, when that was far from the truth.
He would have torn his gaze away then, but she suddenly lurched forward, having tripped over a root that had grown across the path. Shifu reacted with his usual speed and managed to catch her around the waist before she fell flat on her face, though he soon found himself regretting it. With a loud squawk the likes of which he had never heard from anyone's mouth, not even an actual bird's, she twisted around in his arms and flailed helplessly for a moment before latching onto his ear and yanking. "Ack!" He almost dropped her at that, but she let go of his ear in favor of wrapping her arm securely around his shoulders.
"I'm okay!" she needlessly informed him as she managed to get herself back onto her feet, using him as a support.
"Well I'm not," he snapped. "Get off of me!"
"Sorry," she quickly apologized as she finally let go, then reached out and tugged his rumpled collar back into place. "There! You're, uh, good to go. Now." She cleared her throat, a definite blush working its way into her face as she turned away and continued walking. She had good reason to be embarrassed, of course, but it was off-putting that she was brushing the incident off so easily.
He reached up to rub at his sore right ear, narrowing his eyes at her back as he followed. "You're welcome," he grumbled at her, hoping he sounded as offended as he felt.
"Thanks," she tossed over her shoulder in the most nonchalant tone possible, though he was certain that she was still blushing.
"And try to watch where you're going, now," he prodded, taking some satisfaction from the knowledge that he would be intensifying her embarrassment. "These ears are very useful, I would hate to lose them."
"Yeah, I get it," she snapped back. "I'm a dumbass, I readya loud and clear."
"For someone who makes fun of others so much, you certainly seem to have a problem with taking a joke yourself." He sped up a bit to catch up to her, though he didn't get too close- just in case her bad mood stuck.
"Yeah, well... Whatever." She was still a little red in the face, but it actually suited her- she looked rather cute like that, her mouth turned down into a scowl.
Shifu took another step away from her, shocked at himself for even thinking such a thing; was he really so deprived of female contact that he would actually view Lin as anything other than an annoyance? Apparently, he was. He had admitted- to her face, no less- that he did care for her to an extent, but it wasn't as if that actually meant something. "So," he said, just to try to completely forget the horrific train of thought he'd stumbled into, "the stars are... Out. Tonight." He realized that he sounded idiotic, but at least it was a form of distraction.
"Oh yeah?" She raised her eyebrows at him, then glanced up at the sky. "What tipped you off?" Her embarrassment had apparently worn off, since she didn't sound angry, and looked amused at his lame attempt at small talk. "Y'know, where I come from we call the brightest star in the sky the dog star," she went on smugly, grinning at the implication.
"How interesting," he replied sarcastically. "Is that because all the dogs where you are from are full of hot air?"
"No, not quite... But they did like to eat red pandas."
"Oh, so now you remember what species I am."
"And use their pelts in rituals, too."
"You are devoid of boundaries, aren't you?" He'd known that already, of course.
Lin just laughed at him and his disbelief in the face of her complete lack of tact. "Hey, you're the one who started it. Besides, boundaries aren't good for a free spirit such as myself."
"That last statement was so ridiculous in itself that I do not even need to insult it." He realized as he spoke that they were approaching the back entrance of the barracks, which consisted of a narrow staircase leading up to a relatively discreet door. The staircase was only wide enough to admit one of them at a time (unless he wanted to walk arm-in-arm with her, which he most certainly did not). "After you," he offered in the spirit of the amiable mood they'd somehow established.
"No, you don't hafta do that," she immediately refused, and even took a step back. "Besides, I never go in the back- you should go first in case the door's stuck or something."
"But if you fall again- which, let's face it, is inevitable- I won't be able to catch you," he argued, though after the last debacle he didn't know why he would want to catch her again.
"I'll be fine," she huffed, apparently offended that he'd suggested she would need his help. "I was fine before I had you around to grope me every time I tripped, and I'll be fine now. So get a move on."
"I was not the one doing the groping," he shot back, but conceded and headed up the stairs first; he had a feeling that if he didn't they would be stuck out there arguing all night.
"Oh please, don't flatter yourself." She sounded a bit distracted, though, which worried him. For all he knew, she could be planning to play some kind of horrific practical joke on him.
He looked back to check on her, and she only roused his suspicion further by quickly turning away to avoid his gaze. "What are you doing back there?" he snapped, narrowing his eyes.
"Nothing!" She sounded far too defensive to be innocent. "What'd you think I was doing, eh? Checking out your fat ass? Ha!" She was definitely hiding something. "You're dumb."
Shifu stopped walking immediately and turned around to face her, crossing his arms. "You're up to something," he pointed out flatly. "So you get in front of me right now."
"I wasn't-"
"Now." He stepped aside to give her room to pass him, watching her carefully to make sure she didn't try anything; no matter how benign she'd seemed all night, he was not about to let her trick him.
"Fine," she grumbled, a rather childish note of disappointment in her voice. "Just to let you know, though, I wasn't gonna do anything." She managed to sidle past him without incident, though whether that in itself was reason to worry or not he honestly couldn't tell. "And don't you try anything, either," she ordered as she continued up the stairs.
"I must admit, the urge to push you is rather tempting." He realized that his attempt at making a joke had sounded more like a threat than anything else, and felt heat rise to his face from embarrassment. "Not that I ever would," he corrected quickly.
"God, you are just so charming," she sighed ahead of him, though she did sound amused. And she actually made it to the top of the stairs without falling over, and on top of that tugged the door open without incident. After they had entered the barracks, she turned around and indicated herself with a flourish, then sarcastically pronounced, "Ta-da!"
"Congratulations," he replied. "You functioned normally for a few minutes of your short life."
"Indeed I did," she agreed proudly, "and I'd like a reward."
He didn't like the sound of that. "What would that be, exactly?"
"I still need to clean up the kitchen. And I only got one arm to do it with, plus I'm just so tired from all your questions and that walk..." She shot him a falsely innocent smile and batted her eyelashes at him.
"I will not clean up for you again," he grumbled, though she was being truthful about her injured arm slowing her down and making her routine much more difficult than it needed to be. He supposed he could help her, as he had been attempting to do so earlier, and she was in a much better mood than she'd been in for the past few days. "...But I will help you."
"I know," she had the nerve to say, then grabbed his arm and tugged him down the hallway; her grip was much stronger than he would have expected, as if she thought he might try to escape. He soon found out why when she informed him of what she had in mind. "After we finish up the dishes, I'll wipe down the table and the countertops while you drain and clean out the wash basin. And make sure you scrub it good, otherwise it'll start to smell like ass."
He should have left her to clean up on her own and spent the rest of his evening meditating. He should have, and yet he hadn't, and now found himself faced with the possibility of smelling like "ass" for the rest of the night. Although he did not yet see how, he supposed that it could have been worse.
"And I'll just warn you ahead of time that I didn't get around to cleaning it yesterday, so you're gonna hafta put some elbow grease into it to get that curry out."
Then again, perhaps not.
A/N: And slowly but surely, the romance is happening! It's a testament to exactly how slowly that when I wrote this chapter I thought to myself, "Am I going too fast?" Then I realized that this is chapter 19 and you all are probably ready to kill me. Well, now that the ball is (finally) rolling, things are going to progress. Still slowly, though.
Also, as you may have already known, nian gao is rice (sometimes glutinous rice, sometimes not) pounded into a paste, then formed into a log and sliced into rounds. Cooked, it resembles a type of noodle, and it can be served in either a sweet or a savory dish. Plus, it is delicious.
Anyway, the next chapter is going to be fun- for me, at least. Assuming I don't have to split in half and then end up with a mammoth chapter in the end anyway. So, among other events, Lin will introduce Shifu to one of her favorite pastimes. And Oogway will say some wise stuff, and Tai Lung will be cute. You know, the usual.