A/N: Hey guys. We're back to somewhat shorter chapters here, as I warned. I was planning on making it longer, but I had to split it in half due to time constraints- what with the holidays and my recent workload. Hopefully I jam-packed it with enough humor and romantic tension to make it worthwhile. Anyway, enjoy.
Disclaimer: So many properties of Dreamworks, so little time.
Chapter 25: Bread Always Falls Buttered Side Down
Shifu wrung his hands and once again attempted to calm himself; he doubted that any man in the history of the world had ever been more nervous at the mere thought of entering his own kitchen than he was at that moment. He was acting ridiculous, though; here he was, standing outside the kitchen, nervous about seeing Lin. He just didn't understand how he could possibly be nervous over her. He felt like such an idiot; he had spent plenty of time with her before, and this was no different. He was acting like a huge baby just because he had feelings for her- what he needed to do was suck it up.
So, he took a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. And, predictably enough, Lin was passed out at the table, resting her head on her arms, drooling onto her sleeve. He shook his head at himself; he was in love with that. "Are you ready to start breakfast yet, or do you need another five minutes for your nap?" he asked loudly.
"Huh?" She snorted, slowly pushing herself into an upright position, and rubbed at her eyes. "I dunno..." she mumbled. "...What? Okay."
"You are a paragon of wit and intelligence," he said as he pulled out her chair and hoisted her to her feet.
"No," she grunted like a grumpy child. "I don't wanna." She pulled away from him, then slumped forward onto the kitchen table. "God, why?" she groaned loudly. "Why am I awake?"
He leaned over and said loudly straight into her ear, "Because I woke you!"
"Suck my dick," she snapped at him, then finally got to her feet. "Breakfast coulda waited another half hour. I'd just fallen asleep, y'know."
"Then perhaps once night falls you should, I don't know- go to bed?" His tone was a little harsh, but she had just used abhorrent language.
"I couldn't sleep 'cause of that stupid dream, so I came in here." She then paused to stick her tongue out at him- he honestly shouldn't have expected anything more from her. "And then I finally did fall asleep- and you came and woke me up. But whatever, I guess I'll sleep in another thirty hours. No big deal." Obviously, she was more than a little annoyed at having been woken up.
"Alright, then," he agreed as if she hadn't spoken with a single ounce of sarcasm, just to irritate her all the more. He had walked into the kitchen intending to be perfectly civilized- even nice, but somehow that had all flown from his mind the moment he saw her. Perhaps it had just become a gut reaction to bicker with her. He supposed he would just need to make a concentrated effort. "So..." He tried to think of something neutral to say. "What should I do?" he settled on; after all, he was apparently helping her with breakfast.
"Eh?" Lin squinted at him for a moment, then snorted, as if he had just asked her something completely preposterous. "You can peel some stuff, I guess." She even sounded as if she were on the verge of laughter.
"What is so funny?" he huffed, well aware that this would somehow lead to her insulting him- as per usual.
"You can't cook," she replied bluntly, and while he normally would not have taken offense to such a comment, it was somehow vexing coming from her.
"I simply need practice," he informed her stiffly. "Besides, you should be happy about this- you finally have a chance to tell me what to do."
Once again, she snorted. "And that's different from every other moment we spend together... How?"
"I will not complain or argue," he managed to work out through gritted teeth, though it greatly pained him to do so.
"Yes you will," she instantly contradicted him. "Now, first thing's first- put some water on for tea." She then sat down at the table and let out a loud yawn.
"...And you are going to go back to sleep, I gather," he observed, though he still lit the burner and put on a pot of water to boil. "What kind of tea?"
"Your choice, remember?" Surprisingly enough, she was actually honoring her word to let him choose what they were going to have for breakfast.
"You will not be offended if I don't blend the tea with jasmine blossoms from the Emperor's personal garden, will you?"
"Go ahead and make fun," she sniffed indignantly at the jab. "Meanwhile, I never heard you complain about the taste. Now, whaddaya wanna eat?"
"Well... I haven't really thought about it," he admitted. "I did not think you would actually let me pick out breakfast."
"Sweet or savory?" she suddenly asked.
"Huh?"
"I'm helping you out. You in the mood for sweet, or savory?"
"Sweet, I suppose," he answered as he eyed the fruit bowl. "I could go for oranges."
"I got fresh ginger," she added. "Yes or no?"
"Yes, that sounds good." He paused, wondering if perhaps he should compliment her, or something of the like- after all, she had extended the invitation to him. He shook his head immediately after that thought had crossed his mind; it wasn't as if he were on a date.
"Why don't we add some tofu to that?" Lin interrupted his thoughts. "We need a protein. For you and Tai Lung, y'know, for long-lasting energy. It's kinda low calorie though, and you need a complex carbohydrate, so I could make it a rice porridge."
"Right," he agreed vaguely; to be honest he usually had no clue what Lin was talking about when she started going off on one of her food-related tangents.
"But I make rice porridge so often," she sighed, even though it had been her idea to begin with and he had agreed with her. "I guess I could make a chutney, to put over the rice-"
"Wonderful," Shifu interrupted as he poured the now-boiling water over some oolong to steep. He could already tell that if he let her keep talking, there would be no end to her deliberation.
"Okay." She hesitated a moment, a pensive expression on her face. "What about cinnamon?"
"Add it," he replied quickly, before she had a chance to devolve into a nonsensical rant. "And drink some tea." Part of the reason he'd chosen the caffeine rich tea was for her benefit.
"Y'know, I didn't think you'd actually show up here this morning," she commented as she accepted a cup of tea from him and took a large gulp.
He poured himself a cup as well. "To be honest, I was expecting you to kick me out after five minutes."
"It would appear my heart is not as stony as you thought," she sniffed. "But then, you're pretty clueless when it comes to women in general, so I shouldn't expect any different."
He hated to admit it, but she was right- at least a little bit. "You could help me out with that particular subject," he pointed out; she seemed to be fairly knowledgeable about female behavior, particularly in regards to men.
"Uhuh," she agreed insincerely, then got up from her seat, stretched, and went about starting breakfast. "Looks like I, the student, have become the teacher." She took out her knife, a cutting board, some ginger, and oranges, then started peeling the ginger.
"...So." He paused, debating on the wisdom of asking such a question. Of course, he still went ahead and asked. "Tell me more about 'the eye.'"
"Eh?" Lin stared at him a moment, her lip curled up and her eyes narrowed.
"You know... Things that women do when they like a man." He might actually be able to get some insight from her on what kind of signals she might give out.
"Oh, please," she scoffed, predictably enough. "I got better things to do with my time 'an help you score."
"You make it sound as though I only want to have sex," he replied, offended.
"Are you a man?"
"What? Yes, yes I am."
"Well there you go."
"Really!" he huffed. "You act as though I am some sort of sex fiend. Not all men behave in such a way!" He thought she knew him better than that, at least, but apparently not- well, either that or she was trying to get a rise out of him again.
"Whatever. You wanna finally lose your virginity, go cry to someone else about it." She turned away and started peeling some ginger with far more force than was necessary.
"You are a huge child," he snapped, his patience gone. "Just because I do not get around the way you do, that does not mean that I am a virgin!"
She stopped peeling her ginger and slowly turned around to face him, her eyebrows raised. "What does that mean?"
"You know perfectly well what I am implying!"
"Well just to make sure we're on the same wavelength-" she paused and threw her knife down into her cutting board so hard that it dug into the wood with a loud thwack and stuck there- "Why don't you grow some balls and spell it out for me?"
He realized at her reaction that he had let himself get carried away with his anger and had somehow managed to say the absolutely worst thing possible, in the exact worst way possible. "Never mind," he said quickly, hoping against hope that there was still time to smooth things over. "That was over the line."
"Quit being a pussy!" she growled. "You wanna insult me, then just come out and say it- I don't got time for implications."
Of course she knew just what to say to get him riled up again.
"Did you just call me a pussy? I was trying to apologize!" He didn't know why he'd tried in the first place; even if he could manage to get along with her, there was no way she would ever show any romantic interest in him, so what was the point? "Alright, I'll say it! You have had more men in you than- than the Urn of Whispering Warriors!"
"First of all, that is a blatant exaggeration," she shot back. "And second: since when!"
"Oh, you told me yourself that you have seen plenty of men in their natural states." There was a small part of him, all the way in the back of his head where it would not be able to affect his actions even in the slightest, that knew that he was just being an unreasonable, jealous idiot. Yet he simply could not bring himself to care.
"You are such a freak," she spat, turning back to the cutting board and yanking her knife out of it. "So I know what a naked man looks like and suddenly I'm a slut?" She picked up the ginger root and resumed peeling it. "There is nothing inherently sexual about the nude form!" She threw the freshly peeled ginger down onto the countertop and grabbed an orange, then slammed her knife down onto it, chopping it in half in one clean blow. "It is merely sexualized by those who do not fully understand and accept it- mainly due to a combination of their own deeply seeded psychological issues and the standards put forth for them by modern society!" As she spoke she continued to chop oranges in half, which was actually a rather intimidating sight.
"If you do not care about the 'standards put forth by modern society,' as you so eloquently put it, then why do you care at all that I am accusing you of sleeping around?" He was looking forward to hearing her reason for that.
"'Cause it's not true, and I don't like people thinking things about me that aren't true!" She then once again stuck her knife into the cutting board and whirled around to glare at him. "And why should you even care whether or not I've slept around in the first place!"
"Because-" He had to think of something to tell her, something besides "because the thought of you with another man drives me insane," but he couldn't think of anything. "Because-" And it would be incredibly suspicious if he couldn't think of a reason for him to care. "Because of Tai Lung!" He really hated to drag his son into such a discussion, but he honestly had no other ideas. "You are already a bad enough influence on him as it is, I do not want any of your more questionable behaviors rubbing off on him!" It was actually a pretty good save, if he did say so himself.
She pressed her fingers to her brow for a moment, then flung her hands out for emphasis as she shouted, "You are psychotic!" Apparently, she believed him. "Tai Lung is seven! What's he gonna do, go down into the village and start holding hands with all the little girls! Watch out! You shouldn't be too loose and fast with that kinda stuff, 'cause before you know it you'll be lacing fingers with everyone in town! What will the neighbors think!"
"Will you lower your voice?" Shifu snapped, worried that Tai Lung might actually wake up and hear her- or heaven forbid Master Oogway happened to be stopping by the kitchen and overheard their fight. "You are getting way out of hand-"
"Me? Outta hand? You're the one who apparently thinks I need to submit my complete sexual history for your approval!" From the way she was ranting and balling up her fists it was obvious that she was dying to beat the living daylights out of him.
He was going to have to be the first one to calm down, otherwise he feared she might come at him with the nearest kitchen utensil- which happened to be her specialty, a wooden spoon. He had once seen her nail Tai Lung in the back of the head with one from halfway across the mountain for not eating his vegetables. "That is not what I was saying." He had to think of something to appease her, and quickly. "All I meant was that you are the type of person-"
"Oh no you did not," she interrupted him; apparently he'd said the wrong thing again. "So I'm just the slutty type? Why? 'Cause I'm independent and I say what's on my mind and do what I want, and I don't depend on a man? 'Cause I travel all over the country without a husband, God forbid? That is just so typical of you!"
"What?" He couldn't help but get offended at her accusation. "And since when is that type of thinking typical of me? As usual you have your head so far up your behind that you cannot even see straight!"
"That's rich!" she scoffed, and as he had feared she picked up the wooden spoon and began to wave it around as she spoke. "I think you're a little confused as to who has his head up his ass! 'Cause as usual you're making ridiculous assumptions about me! You have no reason to believe that I sleep around!"
"Well, do you?" He probably shouldn't have said that, but he'd already said a lot of stupid things; he was too far gone to go back now. "I haven't heard you outright deny that accusation this entire conversation!"
At that she actually did throw the spoon at him, though he managed to duck it just in time. "I'm a virgin, numbnuts!" she shrieked at him, then immediately after the proclamation fell completely silent, an expression of complete and utter remorse on her face as a blush worked its way into her cheeks.
Shifu was rather stunned himself, and stared back at her in shock as the silence between them stretched out. After what seemed like an eternity, he let out a small snort. And then, before he even realized what he was doing, he began to laugh. "You- you are a virgin?" He couldn't keep his laughter under control, actually. "You- you made fun of me- but you're the one who's- and I'm not-"
"Shut the hell up!" She growled, turning redder than ever. "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin!"
"Oh, sure, not now that you are the virgin in the room there is nothing wrong with it," he pointed out smugly, then let out another chuckle. "How are you still-"
"I don't like to be touched," she snapped and whirled around to continue preparing breakfast with more unnecessary force than ever. "Besides, I'm not that kinda girl."
"Well that- wait." He narrowed his eyes at her back, wondering if he'd heard her right. "You do not like to be touched?" It sounded rather... strange and antisocial- which he could of course see coming from her, but she touched people all the time. Although, that would explain why she screeched like a bat with smoker's voice whenever he picked her up.
"Not too much, no," she confirmed.
"...But you manhandle, hit, and poke me constantly!" he pointed out, though he already knew that she would provide next to no insight in her response.
"Yeah, and I'm touching you. That's different." Her tone was rather short, as if she was getting ready to kick him out of the kitchen. "It's a control thing."
"...Why don't we just put this entire conversation behind us?" He had a feeling that she was not about to agree to that, but it was at least worth a try.
"Not happening," she replied immediately.
"No, really, I apologize! I was wrong to say those things to you. You are obviously very, ahm... Pure. And chaste." He winced at the less than sincere tone of his words.
"Right," she grumbled, then once more dropped what she was doing in order to turn around and face him. "Y'know, normally I don't care what other people think, and it doesn't bother me when someone disapproves of who I am or what I do. But I consider you a friend, which means that it's pretty much a given I care what you think. And it's not just that, either. I mean, it's not the kinda person I am, so of course I don't want people thinking I'm someone I'm not."
He took a step back, startled by her ability to discuss her feelings in a calm and reasonable fashion. "...Are you alright?"
"Not now that I know you get laid more 'an I do, no," she replied, crossing her arms and leaning back against the counter. "Or rather, got laid. There's no way you've had anything close to sex in the last five years, at least."
"You just love to saunter right over the line," he huffed; he didn't see why he should give any specifics, simply because he had embarrassed her first.
"I admitted that I have never known the touch of a man," she pointed out haughtily, "so spill."
"...Ten years," he grumbled, horrified at himself for having told her the truth.
"Ouch!" She was enjoying his pain as much as ever, of course. "I feel better now."
"I am certain you do."
She then reached up and scratched behind her ear, avoiding his gaze. "...So you don't really think it's dorky that I'm still a virgin, right?"
"I, uhm..." He wasn't exactly sure what the right answer to that would be; he could never tell when it came to Lin. It was one of the few things she had in common with the rest of womankind. "No, of course not. In fact, I even respect you for it. Well, slightly. Just a little bit."
She continued to carefully study the floor for a bit, then let out a small snort. "You're such a goober."
"It feels so good to know that I am appreciated." He paused, feeling awkward; he felt a little bit like a child who had just finished having a tantrum. "I really am sorry, though." He thought he should say something else, something encouraging, which of course ended in him saying something awkward and vaguely insulting. "For what it is worth, I am sure that... Well, there must be plenty of men in existence who would be glad to... Ahm... Well, you know."
Lin stared at him as if he had just announced that her mother was a prostitute. Then, after several long moments of silence, she said, "Get out."
"What?" He knew that what he'd said had been rather ridiculous, but she must have known that it was unintentionally so, and it was not nearly as bad as some of the things he'd said just a few minutes earlier.
"Get out of the kitchen," she repeated in a tone that brooked no argument. "Now."
"Alright," he agreed, mainly because she had already thrown her spoon at him, so he suspected the knife would be next. Even as he was leaving the room, though, he couldn't keep his mouth shut. "I just want to put it on record-"
She silenced him with a single glare, the likes of which she had never given him before. The look was not necessarily angry, just absolutely stone-cold. It was the kind of look that chilled him to the bone, that look that all women perfected at some point in their lives and only rarely used.
He had received that look before- from almost every woman he'd met, actually- and he knew that it did not bode well. That was why he beat as hasty a retreat as possible, and completely vacated the barracks altogether, because he knew that it would be wise to avoid Lin for the rest of the day, at least. Still, he didn't see why she had apparently forgiven him for accusing her of being loose, yet had then kicked him out of the kitchen for his botched attempt to reassure her. He had always had trouble understanding women, but Lin seemed like a whole different species all on her own; each conversation or fight with her made him feel increasingly as though he were in a foreign country with absolutely no idea of the customs and courtesies and only a rudimentary grasp of the native language.
Of course, this all meant only one thing: he needed advice. And, of course, there was only one person in the world he ever went to for advice. He turned and headed in the direction of the peach tree, hoping that he'd be in time to catch his master still practicing tai chi or collecting peach petals for the moon pool. He had no idea exactly what he would say once he was facing Master Oogway, but he at least needed someone to talk to. After all, it was frustrating (to say the least) to suddenly find that he had fallen in love with a woman who caused him nothing but mental, emotional, and at times physical anguish- and then to attempt to spend time with her, only to insult her to a point of no return.
He was in luck; Master Oogway was neither picking peach blossoms nor practicing tai chi, but instead was standing under the peach tree as if he were waiting for Shifu to show up. "Right, not creepy at all," he muttered to himself, for he had no doubt that the old turtle was doing just that: waiting for him.
"Good morning, old friend," he greeted, turning around to smile as his student. "And what brings you here so early in the morning? Could not sleep?"
"Not even if my life depended on it," Shifu admitted. "But that is not why I am awake. You see, I was with Lin. We were- well, she- and then- Alright. I sort of called her a slut and then she told me she was a virgin and I thought she forgave me but when I tried to reassure her she gave me this glare- you know, that icy glare that women do when they're trying to tell you without words that the world would have been a better place had you not been born- and kicked me out of the kitchen, so now I am here."
Master Oogway blinked down at him, then placed one clawed hand gently on his shoulder. "Breathe, Shifu."
"Right," he agreed, and took a deep breath. He had no clue what it was about Lin that reduced him to a stuttering, rambling lunatic while simply speaking about her, but he needed to get a grip. "Have you ever had this problem before?"
"Why, whatever do you mean?" Oogway feigned complete ignorance, which was not at all surprising.
"You know what I mean."
"I am afraid you will have to spell it out for me, my student. I am rather old, and getting a bit soft in the head."
"Of course," Shifu grumbled, mostly to himself, then cleared his throat. "Master..." He sincerely did not want to bring up the subject with his master, but he couldn't think of what else to do. Besides, after almost one thousand years of life Master Oogway must have had some experience with women. "...Have you ever... Fallen in love?" He winced as he said the words aloud.
"Hm..." The old master seemed to be contemplating the question for a bit, and then a knowing smile spread across his face. "I have," he answered. "A very long time ago. Why do you ask?"
Shifu should have known that he'd force him to admit his intentions explicitly. "I... I need advice," he grumbled miserably.
"Really? Advice?" Master Oogway seemed surprised at this. "Have you told Lin how you feel?"
"Well, I- wait! How do you know I'm talking about her?" He narrowed his eyes, but the benign expression remained on the turtle's face.
"It is painfully obvious," was his humiliating reply.
"It is?"
"It is," he confirmed with a nod. "Perhaps it is simply my centuries of experience that makes it so obvious to me. Or, perhaps I just know you too well, my friend." He let out a low chuckle, then. "So, what type of advice did you need, exactly?"
"Well, I... I, uhm..." Shifu found himself flushing in his embarrassment. "I was wondering if you had any experience with... With winning a woman over." He briefly considered simply throwing himself off the nearby cliff and ending his misery. He felt like an awkward teenager all over again, having to ask his master such a question.
Master Oogway blinked down at him for a moment. "You mean... You have not made your move yet?"
"'Made my move?'" Shifu repeated, startled by his master's wording. "What do you mean, exactly?"
"Well, you are old enough to know that much," he replied, sounding about ready to laugh out loud. "Simply tell her how you feel."
"I can't," Shifu protested immediately. "I... I don't think she would respond well." Just thinking about such a scenario made his stomach churn. "She would probably laugh at me... Among other things."
"Probably," Master Oogway agreed, completely unhelpfully. "But if you sit by, waiting for the 'right time,' you may lose her. Biding your time can quickly turn into permanent silence. Trust me on this." He reached out to pat his student on the shoulder. "Throughout our lives, we do many things that we may regret later... But our biggest regret of all is always inaction."
He supposed a wise saying was inevitable, given the circumstances, but at least he could understand this one. "You are right, Master," he sighed, frowning. However, he wasn't sure if he had the courage to actually follow the advice. "This is going to end up blowing up in my face, isn't it?"
"Most likely." Once again, his master was not being the least bit comforting. "However... You never know. Remember, tomorrow is a mystery."
"Yes, I know."
"And no matter how well you get to know people, they are still capable of surprising you."
"Master," he argued, "she loves being alone, hates being touched, thinks of marriage as a form of slavery, is convinced that romantic love is nothing more than a myth-"
"Oh my," Master Oogway interrupted, sounding rather distressed. "That would explain why she is still a virgin."
"Fine, make fun of me," Shifu grumbled; he was sure that he sounded rather sulky, but he truly did not see how any of what his master was saying to him was helpful. "I just..." He supposed it wouldn't hurt to simply come out and tell the truth. "I have never felt this way before." He once again winced at his seemingly preternatural ability to sound like a lovesick child.
Oogway looked at him with a kind and fatherly expression on his wrinkled face, the sort of expression he used to wear when Shifu was a child and came to him with one of his many questions about the mysteries of life. "I know," he replied simply. "But I am afraid that there are no concrete answers for you."
He could hardly believe his ears; Master Oogway really had nothing left to tell him on the subject. "But all you really told me to do was to go for it! Pardon my rudeness, Master, but that's it?"
"What more is there?" he asked, sounding as if he thought he was absolutely the wisest person on the planet.
Shifu stared back, his eye twitching as he felt his patience snap for the second time that say. "Well, shit, I don't know! Maybe you could reassure me with some amusing tale from your youth! Or perhaps you could give me some advice on how to approach her! But no, never mind all that!" He was aware as he pointed an accusing finger at his master that he was most likely overreacting, but he couldn't stop himself. "You just do what you always do: give me some vague, generic wisdom, act like you just imparted some great knowledge on me, and saunter off to your old turtle lair or wherever! I cannot do this anymore! I need something more concrete than all of your ridiculous 'maybes' and- and riddles! What is wrong with you, that you would even say these things to me!" He then attempted to imitate Oogway's calm and slightly distracted voice. "Just belieeeeeve, Shifu, a strong heart always triumphs, put your behind in the past!" He was too riled up to keep up the imitation, though. "You are supposed to be a thousand years old! You are supposed to know everything! Why can't you just drop the stupid omniscient act for one moment of your life and just say what you mean! Sometimes you make me want to- to-"
Master Oogway finally held up a clawed hand to stop his rant. "Shifu, I know all of these old arguments. You have always needed to feel like you have control over every little thing in your life, and you have always gone to great lengths to maintain that illusion."
Shifu could not believe that after he had exploded in a rage-induced rant, Master Oogway was still as calm and collected as ever- and even still attempting to impart wisdom on him. He actually felt rather sheepish at his outburst; he honestly didn't know what was wrong with him, that he kept lashing out at the people around him. He took a deep, calming breath and closed his eyes for a moment. Then, he attempted to once again argue with his master; after all, control was not just an illusion- and it was perfectly reasonable to want to have control over his own life. "But-"
"Listen to me, Shifu," he interrupted firmly. "This is something that is out of your control. No matter what you do, in the end you cannot decide how someone else feels about you. All you can decide on for yourself is whether or not you have the courage to give voice to your own emotions. As with all aspects of life, you will only be fooling yourself if you believe that you are in control. This is a discussion we have had before, and I am certain that this will not be the last time, either. But try to remember my words this time."
With a quiet sigh, Shifu reached up to massage his temples; he was starting to get a very big headache. "Master, I always remember your words."
"Hah. Prove it."
"I remembered that time you told me a strong heart always triumphs."
"You also recalled that I apparently told you to put your behind in the past." He smiled as his student blushed in embarrassment. "I know that you are frustrated and afraid. Those feelings are a normal part of falling in love. However, there is no reason to allow those feelings to get the best of you, and to lash out at others in anger. I can forgive you, of course, and I am sure that with time Lin will forgive you, too. But unless you want to devolve into a raving lunatic, I suggest you tell her how you feel."
"...I see." He tried not to let his eye twitch, he really did, but he simply couldn't manage it.
"I know how difficult it can be to admit your feelings," Master Oogway reassured him. "I have been in your position before- well, not in your exact position. After all, Lin is what you might call one in a million."
"More like one huge pain in the butt," Shifu grumbled back.
"That, too." He offered up a somewhat encouraging smile. "Now, I suggest you go back and find out exactly what it is that you did wrong- since I am certain that you do not know."
"...No," Shifu admittedly sheepishly. "Well, I have some idea." He paused to gaze longingly in the direction of the barracks, thinking of the breakfast he had picked out. Lin probably would have spit in his portion by now. "Perhaps I should wait until lunch."
"There you go!" Master Oogway gave him a brief pat on the back. "You are already learning."
"Beautiful," he muttered sarcastically.
"If you think that is bad, just wait until she has you doing- oh, wait, you already do that. Well, when you- no, you do that, too. Although there is... Never mind." He gave a helpless shrug. "What can I say? You are whipped. And without any of the obvious advantages-"
"Do not finish that thought," Shifu interrupted, feeling vaguely disgusted.
"Which is all the more reason for you to admit your feelings," he added with a note of finality in his voice.
"Right." Shifu had to admit, Master Oogway had a good point. Things probably wouldn't get much worse if he actually confessed to Lin, and then at least it would be over and done with, and he could stop worrying about it. "...At lunch, I'll do it." And it definitely would not be pretty.
A/N: I don't think Shifu quite grasps the concept of romance yet. Also, this is kind of off-topic, but I think if this was a 90s high school sitcom, Shifu would be the kid with the inhaler. Just sayin'. (Then again, the kid with the inhaler is always the first one to get kissed... And then comedically follow up said kiss with a hit from his inhaler). Anyway, props to the movie and the scene when Shifu and Oogway have their final talk.
I hope all of you are having a lovely holiday season, whatever it is you may celebrate. I myself take part in the time-honored western tradition of consumerism: Christmas. Which is this Friday, no less! So, as a gift from me to all of you, I will be posting again next week. And along with next week's chapter I'll post a little link to some of my inspiration for this fic AND a "special announcement." Anyway, expect to see this stuff up around monday the 28th. See you all then!