A/N: Well, here we are again. I'll admit that I didn't think I'd be able to bang this out in one week, but I ended up getting some unexpected time off work, so... There you have it! Right in time for the fic's first birthday, too. Incidentally, this is also the day that the earth is closest to the sun (just a little bit of trivia for you). Anyway, I'll quit rambling. On with the show!
Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda was forged by Dreamworks within the heart of the black land Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom.
Chapter 27: Forbidden Fruits Create Many Jams
"Beautiful," Lin grumbled sarcastically to herself as she glared down at the meagre pile of savings she'd collected. If she really cut back on costs and planned for an extremely lean journey, she'd be able to leave the Valley within the next week. She'd done it before, and she knew that she could do it again... She just kept hoping that somehow her savings would magically balloon, or she'd get a bonus or a raise of some sort. She should have let Oogway pay her, that kinda money would have had her set for a journey around the world and then some. But deep down, she knew what she was trying to do with these kinds of thoughts: she was trying to make up some kind of excuse to stay. She just needed to remind herself that there were no excuses.
Besides, things hadn't been so bad lately between her and Shifu. In fact, she'd barely even seen him since their argument, and that had been almost a week ago. Good riddance, too- the last thing she needed was to be constantly reminded of her sickening crush on him. She had hoped when he'd first started to make himself scarce that her feelings would have faded by now, but no such luck. Still, the important thing was that life seemed to be getting back to some sort of normalcy. She just needed to make it another couple of weeks, and then she'd be able to cut the apron strings and head on out.
The hardest part of leaving was going to be telling Tai Lung; he wasn't going to react well to it. She comforted herself by trying to look at the big picture: sure, she loved the kid, and sure, they were pretty close- but if she looked at the situation realistically, she had only been around for about three months. That was three months in an entire lifetime, and Tai Lung was only seven (well, almost eight according to him). He would be angry and sad to begin with, but eventually those feelings would fade with time. And so would his memories of her. Soon enough, she'd fade away entirely and it would be like she'd never even entered his life to begin with. Sure, every now and then he'd probably think of her and have maybe a vague recollection of her cooking or a specific moment they had shared, but there would be nothing attached to the memory but pure and simple nostalgia. He'd feel nothing more for her than he would for an old toy or his baby blanket. It was all part of being a child, and of growing up.
It hurt to think about, actually. She wondered if even when he was old enough to have children of his own and barely remembered her, she'd still love him just the same. It wasn't necessarily something she believed in, but she'd been proven wrong before. She had never planned on having any children, but... Well, it would have been nice to stick around, and see the kid grow up. Maybe if her life had been different, or if she'd made different choices in the past, she would be staying. But that was no way to think- thinking in 'what if's usually led to regretting what really had happened, and she wasn't about to go down that road. She could never be happy living in the Valley of Peace for the rest of her life, anyway, no matter how much she cared for Tai Lung. In fact, it would be better for him if she left- she was raised by miserable people, after all, so she knew how it could be. One thing she had learned from her parents was that if someone was unhappy, they tended to make everyone around them unhappy, too. She wouldn't want to do that to Tai Lung; that was one of many reasons that sticking around would just be no good.
She figured at that point that she should just get up and do something, since sitting around her room and thinking was only depressing her. She wasn't sure what to do, exactly, so of course that usually led to some pretty heavy duty baking. And it was the middle of the night, too- the perfect time to bake, in her opinion. Mostly because there was no one else around to share the end product with.
At least, she had thought there was no one around to share the end product with- and she'd been fantasizing about some green tea cookies the whole way to the kitchen, too. Unfortunately, she found that there was a light streaming through the doorway, and when she walked in she did not find who she'd expected. "What're you doing up, kid?"
Tai Lung jumped away from the cabinet he'd been rummaging through, looking guilty as sin as he replied in a sweet, innocent voice, "Nothing."
"Oh really?" She sat down at the table, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him; he had probably been looking for her cookie stash. "Siddown."
He squinted right back at her, then approached slowly. "What're you doing up?" he asked as he sat down next to her.
"I don't sleep," she replied. "All the better to keep an eye on you, my little prisoner."
"I get it," he huffed. "You want me to go to bed."
She drummed her fingers on the table a moment, thinking about what she was going to do next; she could send him to bed, or she could try to talk to him- which would probably earn her a fight with Shifu, if he found out about it. "I ain't sending you to bed," she decided. "Yet. I wanna know why you're up in the first place."
"I got a lot on my mind," he replied, and she tried very hard not to snort with laughter at that; the kid sounded like he was trying to be so grown up, as always.
"Like what?" She managed to get her amusement under control enough to be able to listen to him, anyway.
"Like... I dunno." He rubbed at his eyes, the way Shifu did when he was tired. "I was thinking about kung fu... And stuff."
"Wow," she replied flatly. "Deep."
He frowned at her sarcasm. "Well, I also was thinking about Master Shifu," he went on. "And you. You and Master Shifu."
"Yeah, the two of us exist. What of it?"
"Well, um... Are you guys gonna... Kiss or something? Or, like, date?" He stared at her expectantly, as if he had been dying to ask that question for weeks.
"Yeah, sure," she answered easily, watching his face light up. "At the next solar eclipse."
His expression instantly fell into one of complete disappointment, and she took a moment to think about how good she could be at this whole parenting thing. "Why not?" he asked, apparently not ready to give up the subject.
"'Cause it'd be gross," Lin told him with an air of finality. "And while we're on the subject, I don't really think this is the kinda thing you should be losing sleep over." She paused and waited for him to answer, but he just stared at the floor so she gave him a little nudge on the arm. "Y'know?"
"Yeah, I know," he finally grumbled. "It's just... You guys fight all the time, and everyone knows it's 'cause you like each other. And if you don't get together, you're just gonna keep fighting, and then what? Are you guys just gonna end up hating each other or something?"
Lin blinked back at him, stunned for a moment at how astute his observation was; who knew that a kid would be worried about the thin line between love and hate? "Listen, that won't happen. I know I bust Shifu's balls a whole lot, and he says a lotta stupid stuff that pisses me off, but that's just the way we are. I'm not gonna start hating him for it. Hell, that's part of why I like him."
While Tai Lung was very mature for his age, he still sometimes said and did childish things- she liked to think of them as reminders that he really was just a kid. "You don't literally bust his balls, do you?" This was one of those things.
"Perhaps some day, my friend," she sighed, patting him on the shoulder. "If I'm lucky."
"So basically what you're saying is that everything's fine and I shouldn't worry?"
She looked back into those wide, innocent eyes and for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to lie and say yes. But she couldn't tell him the truth, either. "There's no such thing as everything being fine, kid," she settled on. "But that doesn't mean that you can't be fine. Y'get what I'm saying?"
"Yeah, I think so." He reached up and rubbed at his eyes again, and she had a feeling that the conversation was going to need to end pretty soon so he could get some rest.
There was still one more thing she had to say to him, though. "Hey, Tai Lung. There's something you should know, before you head off to bed." She braced herself, fully aware of the possible consequences of her admission. "I mean, it's kinda important." She wanted to say something before she had to leave, so that her confession wouldn't be a bitter moment.
"Yeah, okay," Tai Lung agreed casually, and leaned back in his seat.
"Well, first off you should know that I don't go around saying this a whole lot. Or at all, really. Not since I was a kid, anyway." She cleared her throat, then reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "I, uh... Love you."
"Eh?" He looked at her as if she were insane, his mouth hanging open a bit.
"I mean, in a... Like a parent-ish way," she needlessly clarified. "Y'know, like... Like that..." She trailed off, embarrassed. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"
"Okay," he agreed quickly; he looked about as embarrassed as she felt. "Hey, uh... Likewise." He coughed a bit, and looked away from her. "Um, I should probably go back to sleep."
"Yeah," she said, and gave him a hearty pat on the back. "Yeah." She paused, trying to think of something of some meaning to say. Unfortunately, her mental bucket came up dry. "Well, you better head off to bed now." She figured it would be easier for both of them to just... End the conversation.
"Right, sure, yeah." He jumped out of his chair and ran for the door, then stopped in the doorway to say, "You know, Lin... If you love Master Shifu, you should tell him. Just so you don't regret it or anything." With that, he ran off.
Lin rolled her eyes at that last bit of advice. As cute as the kid was, she was starting to get tired of his wishful thinking. And if he thought she was going to regret not telling the ass how she felt then he was dead wrong. The only thing she would regret would be saying something and getting laughed at. No, this was one secret she was going to take to her grave- as far as Shifu was concerned, anyway. Instead she would just... Bake.
Shifu peered into the kitchen, just to make sure that Lin wasn't around, then snuck in. It was about mid-morning, and he was absolutely starving. It was his own fault, of course; he'd barely eaten at breakfast, he'd been in such a rush to get away from her. He was certain that she'd started to notice his glaring absence as of late, but he simply could not be around her- because every time she got near him he started thinking about what it would feel like to hold her, or kiss her... And he did not want to find out where those thoughts would lead.
Besides, he had better reasons for avoiding her than just the fear of rejection. He wasn't an idiot, and he knew how to put two and two together. The way she kept asking for raises, the way she talked about far-off places- and added to that was the knowledge that she had not spent more than a week living in any one place for quite some time. He suspected that Lin was planning to leave the Valley. He had no concrete evidence, of course, but she had come out of the blue looking for a job and a place to live, and chances were that she was not planning for her arrangement to be permanent.
Therefor, there would really be no point to telling her how he felt. At least, that was the excuse that kept running through his mind. There was a very small part of him that kept insisting that all this meant was there was nothing to lose, but he largely ignored it.
He picked up an apple and bit into it; Lin always picked out the smallest apples he'd ever seen in his life, but they were also the most delicious. He'd never really thought of apples as a particularly juicy fruit, until she started doing all the grocery shopping. And as he hungrily devoured the apple, he also mentally cursed at himself; he couldn't even eat a piece of fruit without thinking about Lin. He was smitten, and it was absolutely horrific.
"Of course you're in my fruit bowl, why would I expect any different?" Lin's voice startled him and he briefly made a ridiculous attempt to hide the apple core behind his back before realizing that he was being childish.
"...Where are you?" He peered at the doorway, waiting for her to walk through, but it remained conspicuously empty. He wondered for a moment if her voice had just been in his imagination (he sincerely hoped not, that would have just been pathetic).
"You're the one with sonar," she replied sarcastically. "You tell me."
He blinked in surprise as he turned toward one of the small windows nestled high near the ceiling. "What on earth do you think you are doing?" He glared up at her as she began tossing branches in through the window, which then landed at his feet with a clatter.
"My job." She tossed another branch in his direction, clearly aiming for him.
He caught the branch and resisted the urge to throw it back. "Why are you throwing tree branches at me?"
"They're perfect for skewers," she replied, then reached for something behind her and yanked on it; he realized that she must have been in a tree, picking the branches as she spoke to him, which explained how she'd gotten up to the window in the first place.
"And what were you planning to skewer?" He picked the other branch up off the floor and put them both on the kitchen table.
"Besides your masculinity?" She threw a third branch at him. "Cubed eggplant stuffed with cheese- that's fermented milk- and almonds. It's a dish I learned while passing through the middle east."
"Sure," he replied flatly as he placed that last branch on the table. "And you met a Saudi prince who declared you his sole successor."
"Fine, don't believe me. It'll taste just as delicious, either way." And then to Shifu's utter chagrin, she began to climb through the window, which was a good ten feet off the ground, to get back into the kitchen.
"Stop that!" he snapped and despite how ludicrous he was sure it looked he ran to stand underneath her, so he could catch her if she fell.
She stared at him a moment as if he were completely insane, then shook her head at him and, while gripping the windowsill with one hand she reached out and grabbed a nearby shelf with the other. "I ain't climbing all the way back down this tree and walking around. And quit being such a pain in the ass!" She then grabbed the shelf with her other hand and stepped off the windowsill, swinging her legs around to rest atop the cabinets that lined the wall beneath the shelf.
"You are going to hurt yourself," Shifu lectured as his heart leapt into his throat at every daring move she made.
"I'll keep that in mind, mother," Lin scoffed, then dug her toes into the handle of a cabinet door beneath her, kicked it open, and began to climb down the entirety of the kitchen's cabinetry as such, closing cabinet doors again as she passed. And, amazingly, she did not once trip, slip, or otherwise falter.
Still, he stayed underneath her just in case, and only relaxed when she was safely back on the ground. "You could have very easily fallen," he pointed out, though he knew she would pay absolutely no attention to the warning.
"I'm pretty sure I woulda survived," she shot back as she grabbed a small utility knife from the knife rack and headed to the table. "And I was just kidding before. You can eat my fruit." She sat down, grabbed a branch, and began stripping it of its bark.
"I am no longer hungry," he replied stiffly; after the way his stomach had lurched when he was sure she would fall from the window, he didn't want to put anything else in it.
She turned in her seat and eyed him for a minute, then said something surprisingly open. "Y'know, you kinda remind me of my sister," she sighed, sounding wistful for the first time he could recall.
"Oh?" He found the sentiment somewhat insulting, but mainly because he expected her to come out with some kind of elaborate joke comparing him to a woman as a result of this apparent moment of nostalgia. "...And what was she like?" He doubted he would be able to stop her, anyway.
"She was seven years older 'an me, and really high-strung like you are. The only thing that ever really calmed her down was when I brushed her fur for her." She paused, as if she were remembering her past with her sister. "And even though she was a nervous wreck, she always looked out for me."
Shifu gave up hope that he would be able to retreat from the kitchen and continue his practice of completely avoiding Lin, so instead he sat down next to her at the table and watched her scrape the bark off of her sticks. "If you are implying that I go out of my way to protect you, then you are sorely mistaken." He still didn't see where her story was going, though; she had yet to outwardly insult him, and that was highly suspect. "So what happened to this sister of yours?"
"Oh, she got sent off to be married to some old guy." She shrugged, as if this were nothing out of the ordinary. "That was when I was seven."
He raised his eyebrows at her. "...So that would make her fourteen."
"Yeah. That was standard for my hometown. Girls were sent off to be married at fourteen- it was considered the best age 'cause they were generally old enough to have kids already, but they were young enough that they still had a few solid, healthy years left on 'em before it all went downhill." She finished stripping the bark off her first branch and began to carve a notch in the middle. "Like I toldya before, marriage is a business and women are commodities."
He wasn't exactly sure what to say to her; the conversation had definitely taken an unexpected turn. "I... I am sorry to hear that."
"Don't be. It's life, and like I said, it's standard." She then broke the branch in half over her knee, using the knife to cut off any stray splinters.
He couldn't believe that she could talk about something so depressing with no apparent emotion. "I see. Do you... Do you even remember your sister leaving?"
"'Course I do," she huffed, and looked up from her work to momentarily glare at him. "I was devastated."
"Really? You sound more like you were mildly distracted by it." He realized immediately after he spoke that it had probably not been the smartest thing he had ever said, and fully expected her to kick him out of the kitchen with a great deal of shouting and maybe a plate or two thrown in his direction.
However, Lin shocked him by not reacting with anger at all. Instead, she tossed her two finished skewers onto the table, crossed her arms, and said, "I am going to assume that you already regret having uttered such an insensitive thing. Am I correct?"
"Yes," he managed to work out as he leaned as far back in his seat as he could, just in case.
"Good. Because I would hate for you to think that I was telling you something completely inconsequential when it is in fact a deeply personal memory from my childhood."
"No," he answered quickly, "I do not think that at all."
"Okay." She seemed satisfied by the mild panic in his voice and began to turn another tree branch into a cooking utensil. "Now where was I?"
"Your sister left to be married and you were devastated," Shifu offered, still a little nervous that she might snap at any moment.
"Yeah, that. Anyway, I'll never forget the last words she ever said to me. I told her to come back and visit us, and she took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said, 'This is the last time you will ever see me, for as long you live.' And she was right." Lin stopped there and just concentrated on hacking away at the piece of wood, apparently done with her story.
He supposed that despite the fact that she was an unbalanced, obnoxious harpy who fed off his misery he should still attempt to comfort her. "Well, you have hardly lived through your entire life. How do you know you will never see her again? And what is to stop you from going to see her?"
"I suppose nothing's actually stopping me," she admitted. "But I have no desire to go see her, and I don't have any reason to see her, either."
"But she's your sister!"
"And the last time I saw her I was seven," she pointed out evenly. "If she's even still alive she's most likely a completely different person from who she was at age fourteen, just like I'm a completely different person from who I was at age seven. The sister I remember is just that: a memory, and nothing more. If I were to go see her now, if she even knew who I was and actually wanted to see me, we would be strangers to each other. I have no more reason to see her 'an I do to see any other stranger on the street."
"You're wrong," he argued instantly, though he knew he was running the risk of upsetting her, and he was not entirely sure that he would be able to handle a genuinely upset Lin. "It is true that you and your sister have probably changed over the years- people do change, after all- but that does not mean that you no longer share a connection. You are still sisters, and you still love each other. And that is reason enough to see her."
She once again surprised him by not flying into a rage. "You made some good points," she conceded, which was very out of character for her. "But they weren't exactly convincing." That was more like her, at least. "I loved my sister- emphasis on the past tense. Anything I feel now is simple nostalgia. Love that lasts forever, even when you haven't seen someone in years, is a load of bullshit. Sure, people pine over lost loved ones, but they don't love actual people, just memories. And eventually, even that fades, and if they still pine it's only because they love the idea of everlasting love, so they fool themselves into thinking they feel something they really don't feel. That sounds cold, I know, but it's the truth." She paused to break the branch in half, like she had done with the first one. "Anyway, I'm not about to go outta my way to hunt down someone I haven't seen since I was seven outta some misplaced sense of nostalgia. I got more sense 'an that."
She stopped her story again and moved onto her third branch, but Shifu couldn't think of anything to say in return; to say he was stunned would have been an understatement. After the tense silence had stretched out to an uncomfortable length, Lin spoke again. "I guess you were expecting this to be one of our regular lighthearted arguments, so sorry I sprung this on you."
"No, there is no need to apologize," Shifu replied quickly. He was actually quite happy that she had felt comfortable enough to open up to him about her actual emotions, although her final diatribe about the fleeting nature of love had been less than encouraging. It only reinforced his suspicion that she would leave the valley, since he was certain that such a belief would lead her to feel less attached to the people around her. There was nothing to tie her down, as it were, because even if she had come to care about Tai Lung, Master Oogway, and perhaps even him (in a platonic sense, he was sure), she still believed that those feeling would fade.
"You look kinda... Uhm... Upset," she pointed out awkwardly.
In that moment, there were so many things he wanted to say; he wanted to voice his suspicions and ask if she were really going to leave, he wanted to tell her how he felt, and most importantly he wanted to beg her to stay. He had never felt the urge to beg anyone for anything in his adult life, but he was considering it now. "I am fine." He couldn't actually say anything, though. "I just... Am restless, that is all. I think I should head to the training hall. I left Tai Lung with Master Oogway and I want to see if anything actually sank into the boy's head."
"Probably not," Lin replied. "He can be as thick as you are, at least when it comes to certain things."
"I suppose," he agreed, and stood up to leave before he could say anything that he would regret.
"Don't be late for lunch," she warned at his retreating back.
"I would not dream of it," he replied, and while the statement was innocuous enough, he still had the distinct feeling that he was going to end up regretting it.
Lunch was most likely nearly over, but Shifu was not even a little bit hungry. He had stayed in the training hall after Tai Lung had run off to eat with Lin, and while he had intended to make an attempt at meditation, he had simply ended up pacing around the perimeter of the obstacle course. He hadn't been able to clear his mind, so instead he was occupying it with pressing matters; mainly with how he could once more improve upon the obstacle course's design.
Despite his efforts to occupy himself with something useful, he still couldn't stay focused on the task at hand. He just kept focusing on everything that had been on his mind lately- his worries about whether or not Lin would stay, about his feelings, about whether or not he would end up embarrassingly confessing said feelings like an awkward schoolboy...
He was so absorbed in his worries, in fact, that as he stared vacantly at the swinging clubs of instant oblivion he nearly walked right into someone who had stepped into his path. Luckily he was able to stop short before walking head-on into... Lin. Of course.
"You missed lunch," she huffed without so much as a preamble, and jabbed a finger painfully into his chest.
Shifu stared back at her, surprised; he had missed out on meals before, but he couldn't recall her ever actively seeking him out as a result. "I have a lot on my mind," he replied truthfully, rubbing at the spot she'd poked. He didn't think that the vague reply would satisfy her, though, so he went on. "I have been thinking of adding on to the obstacle course again."
"...Again?" Lin blinked at him, the annoyance dissipating from her expression as her shoulders began to shake. She laughed and punched him in the arm, and while it didn't hurt he still flinched out of surprise and a certain level of indignation that he just couldn't shake, no matter how many times Lin tried to hit him in a so-called friendly manner. "Please tell me you're kidding," she sighed, once she'd calmed down. "You actually designed this horrible place?" She waved her hand about, apparently trying to indicate the entire training hall.
"It is not horrible," he snapped, offended by pretty much her entire demeanor. "And yes, yes I did. I don't see why that could be either funny or unbelievable."
"Even that dummy thing over there?" She pointed to the adversary, snorting a little bit.
"No. I simply added on to what was already here. I improved the training hall, you see." He tried not to get annoyed at how amusing she apparently found him, but it was difficult.
"You crack me up, y'know that?" She shook her head and grinned at him, but then actually looked a little hurt at the completely deadpan expression on his face. "Aw, c'mon. You don't think it's funny that you went through all the trouble of making this place as terrifying and deadly as possible, and now the only student you got using it is your seven-year-old son?"
"No, I do not find that amusing at all," he replied tightly. "And frankly, I am insulted that you find it so funny."
"Oh." The grin completely disappeared from her face. "But... Why?"
"Oh, I don't know... Maybe because you are mocking my entire life?" he offered. He crossed his arms, waiting for her to get angry or offended, but was surprised to find that she remained calm.
"Well, you can mock my life, if you want." She still sounded a little hurt, even.
"You don't have a life to mock," he shot back, and instantly regretted it, because he knew that once again he had gone too far.
"Okay, I guess not." Lin still didn't seem angry, but she definitely didn't look happy, either. "No, you're right. It's been about three months since I've had a life, actually."
He didn't need a lot of time to figure out that three months was approximately the amount of time she'd spent at the Jade Palace so far. "I didn't mean-"
"Nope," she interrupted. "No, I'm sure you didn't." She paused, and appeared to be thinking. "But you're right. I really... Haven't had a life, since I came here. Besides cooking for you." She shrugged. "I just didn't realize it until you pointed it out to me."
"Well- I mean..." He tried to think of something to say to make her feel better, but he wasn't even sure if she was hurt to begin with. Besides, he could see how this train of thought would lead to her leaving as he had feared; while he didn't think that anything he could possibly say would change her mind, he still had to try. Unfortunately, the only thing he could think to say turned out to be rather... Lame. "It hasn't been that bad, has it?"
"Naw. Boring, but not bad." She scratched behind her ear, still looking pensive. "Y'know, this is why it's impossible to joke around with you."
"Sorry."
She blinked back at him, looking surprised. "Wow. You're sorry? Really?"
"Not so much now that you are getting ready to make fun of me for it, no," he grumbled. "And don't try to deny it- I can practically see the gears turning in your head."
"Okay, you caught me," she admitted, though her mood appeared to be picking up again. "Look... I didn't mean to make it sound like I hate it here at the Jade Palace or anything. I actually like it here. It's... Well, it's homey, for lack of a better term." She blushed a little at the admission, most likely embarrassed by it. "I like cooking for you, too."
Shifu felt his heart practically leap into his throat at that; he knew that he shouldn't read too much into anything that Lin said, but that last statement was encouraging, to say the least. "And I like your cooking," he replied.
"I know," she said flippantly. "I'm not blind, y'know- I see the way you stuff your face at every meal. There's a reason I call you Pudge, y'know."
"I thought it was because I'm fat," he blurted out without thinking. He paused after he realized precisely what he'd said, his eye twitching as Lin laughed at him. "That is not what I meant to say," he attempted to clarify, though he knew the damage had already been done.
"Priceless!" she managed to wheeze out, then dissolved into laughter again.
He crossed his arms and waited for her to stop, which didn't take as long as he would have expected; she still had a huge grin on her face, though. "I am not fat," he huffed. "I simply meant to say that you think I am fat."
"Aw, I don't think you're fat necessarily." She sounded as though she were trying to comfort a toddler at first, but then an unexpected note of sincerity entered her voice. "I mean, I admit that my cooking can be a little rich. I've definitely fattened you up a bit." She punctuated the statement by poking him in the belly. "But middle-aged men tend to retain a little more weight, anyway. It's a normal part of the circle of life." She then reached out and pinched his cheek, raising her voice to the kind of high-pitched simpering that could only be characterized as baby talk. "That doesn't make you any wess special, my handsome widdle boober," she teased.
"Let go of my face!" he snapped, batting her hand away. "You honestly are the most annoying person I have ever had to deal with." He rubbed at his sore cheek and frowned at her, though a small part of him wondered if she actually did think he was handsome.
"And yet you keep coming back for more and more punishment," she pointed out. "Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you're just a masochist?"
"I must be," he grumbled, though mostly to himself.
"No arguments here. Anyway, if you ain't gonna eat lunch, I'll just go feed your portion to Tai Lung- the kid is a bottomless pit, lately."
"Before you go," he blurted out, because if he held it in any longer he thought he was going to go insane. "There is... Something I have been meaning to tell you."
"Yeah?" She raised her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for him to say what had been on his mind lately.
He looked her straight in the eye, took a deep breath, and... He hesitated. He just couldn't do it; the words were caught in his throat, and his mind had gone completely blank.
"...Okay, then," she said, her patience apparently gone. "Thanks for that little tidbit, I'll just be on my way now." She turned to go, but he couldn't let her just leave.
"Wait!"
She actually stopped and waited, too.
"I, ahm..." This was it. This was his one chance to tell her how he felt. "I don't think I will be at dinner tonight." He felt like such a coward; he couldn't even tell the woman he loved how much he cared for her.
"Yes you will," she argued back. "And if I don't see you at the dinner table tonight, I'll come down here, shove my hand down one of your huge-ass ears, punch a hole in your thick skull, and drag you to the kitchen by your optic nerves. Got it?"
"You have an absolutely rancid personality," he concluded.
"I'll take that as a yes." With that, she turned and bustled out the door.
He felt like such a fool; he wasn't even sure if he would be able to face Lin at dinner. The only thing he could think to do was to meditate.
That was it; would ask Master Oogway to continue supervising Tai Lung's training and studying for the rest of the day, and he would meditate- or at least he would try to.
Lin cracked her knuckles as she prepared herself for the battle that was about to go down. Shifu had failed to show up for the second meal that day- in a row- and she was going to make good on her promise to drag him back to the kitchen by his optic nerves. He had been acting completely loopy lately, and she had made a fair share of allowances for him, but he had gone too far by skipping dinner. She had made cheese for him, for crying out loud- thick, strained yogurt cheese to be precise, and the ingredients had taken a lot of effort to track down- and she had proceeded to roll that cheese into tiny little balls, soak those balls in peanut oil (even her powers were not great enough to track down olive oil in the middle of China), roll those balls in crushed almonds, and then stuff those almond-rolled cheese balls into small cubes of eggplant. And unless there had been a mortal wound to keep Shifu from attending the near-heavenly meal (rosemary skewers would have brought it to a divine level, but again, even she had her limits), she was going to roll his balls in almonds, stuff them into little cubes of eggplant, and skewer them on a sharp stick. Then she would delight in roasting them over an open flame and feeding them to him.
She supposed, as she stomped toward the training hall, that she was overreacting just a little bit. Still, he should have known by then that it was important to her that he attend meals. Besides, despite her best efforts to keep her feelings to herself, she hadn't been able to stop herself from... Well, from expressing herself with her cooking. Just a little bit. It had started off as a subconscious thing at first, but she had been cooking for him, lately. She knew she could never ever admit her feelings to him aloud, but they had managed to leak out in the form of increasingly elaborate cuisine from every region she had even an ounce of culinary knowledge in. And, though she hated to admit it, his absence from any one of those meals felt like a rejection.
She had been willing to let lunch slide, since he had seemed so completely out of sorts lately, but dinner, too? And after she had explained to him what she was making? It was completely unacceptable, and she was going to give him a piece of her mind.
At least, that was the plan right up until she reached the doors to the training hall- then, suddenly, she had seconds thoughts. She hadn't had second thoughts about ripping somebody a new one in years, but she supposed that was the kind of thing that happened when she stayed in one place for too long; she was starting to get soft. She couldn't help but think that if there was actually something legitimately wrong, like if Shifu was depressed or sick, then she would feel bad for reaming him out. And besides, they'd had a huge fight last week, and that had led to him completely avoiding her; while she appreciated the space, she sort of... Missed him. That had been part of the reason she'd blurted out all that stuff about her oldest sister to him.
Lin reminded herself of her grandmother's penalty for missing a meal (a sound boxing on the ear and nothing to eat for the next twenty-four hours), then pushed open the heavy wooden doors and walked into the training hall. Yet when she saw him sitting on the other side of the room in front of his little scented candles, she couldn't keep up the frenzy she had whipped herself into. He didn't even look like his usual bundle of nerves; instead he just looked... Despondent.
She rubbed at the side of her face as she approached him; she had somehow become nothing more than a gelatinous blob of emotional mush, and it was all because of this idiotic man. She stopped to stand beside him, and while he didn't acknowledge her presence, it was clear by the way his ears twitched that he knew she was there. "Hey." She couldn't even make herself sound angry. "You're still here?" Lin raised her eyebrows at him, frowning. At least she could still manage a frown.
"Yes, I am," Shifu answered simply.
"You missed dinner," she pointed out, her voice briefly taking on the harsh tone one would expect from a concerned mother; she grimaced when she heard herself. "What I mean is, dontchya wanna eat?" That sounded a little better, anyway.
"I am not hungry," he replied with his usual sternness.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him, then attempted to reason with him. "If this is about the whole fat thing earlier-"
"No," he ground out immediately. "It most certainly is not." He then paused and straightened himself up a bit, though he still didn't stand or turn to face her. "I am simply... Contemplating life, and all of its mysteries."
She snorted at his response; she honestly didn't want to offend him, for once, but she just couldn't help herself. Despite her concern for him, she was still too amused by him for her own good.
"It is not funny," he snapped, visibly bristling at her laughter.
"Sorry, it's just... Really? The mysteries of life?" She honestly didn't see what was so mysterious about it. "Didya ever stop to think that maybe you're thinking too much? Maybe there's no reason for the universe being the way it is. Maybe it just is. And even if you did know all of its secrets, that wouldn't help you very much, now would it? It'd probably just make you unhappy. Ever hear of 'such is life' or 'whatever will be will be?'" She paused, waiting for him to argue with her, but he didn't respond at all. She supposed he needed some clarification on what her point was. "I guess what I'm saying is: if you're too busy thinking about life to actually live it, you'll end up missing out."
He sat in silence for a bit longer, then sighed loudly. "I suppose you have a point," he admitted, without a trace of reluctance.
She raised her eyebrows at that; she hadn't expected him to concede to her even a little bit. "Well, this is new." She once again waited for some type of offended reply, but got none; she was starting to get worried about him again. It wasn't like him to be so quiet, or to simply accept her reasoning. "Hey, look. You gotta eat, whether you're hungry or not. It ain't good for you to skip meals. So why not just have a little snack, huh? It might make you feel better, anyway."
"And what makes you think I need to 'feel better' in the first place?" Now that was more like him.
"Nothing. You just seem a little off, is all." She tried to think of a better way to describe it. "Kinda... Outta sorts. Y'know?"
"Of course I know," he grumbled. "I'm the one feeling out of sorts."
"Well then... A bite to eat couldn't hurt, could it?" She was probably being too nice, but she couldn't help but feel genuine concern for him. After all, despite all of her resistance, she really did care about him.
"I am starting to think that you are the one who is out of sorts." He finally stood up and turned around to face her, one eyebrow raised in a clear show of skepticism. "You are never this nice."
"Hey, is it so hard to believe that I'm capable of showing concern for a friend?" she asked defensively. "Maybe I'm just worried about you." She probably shouldn't have said anything at all, but she hadn't been able to resist her natural instinct of attempting to guilt trip him.
As expected, he stared at her incredulously. "You're worried about me?"
Well, there was no going back, so she went with her next best option and forged ahead. "Why wouldn't I be worried? You're acting like some melancholy teenaged girl, skipping meals and sitting alone in the dark like this. If you're trying to give me an ulcer, then congratulations- it's working. I mean, I didn't slave away in front of a stove all day just to hafta go looking for you on my aching feet, only to get some lame 'I'm not hungry' response." She crossed her arms and let out a purposely pathetic-sounding sniff. "I suppose I could just throw out your portion... It's not like you'd appreciate it anyway."
"Alright," Shifu finally sighed. "I will eat dinner, if it really means that much to you." He'd managed to sound as though he was trying to pacify her while at the same time further embarrassing her- he was getting good.
"Don't bother." She wasn't going to go down without a fight, though. "You don't need to do me any favors."
"No, really. I will eat." He paused for a moment, then said, "I am sure that whatever you have made will be delicious. As it always is."
Lin tried to figure out what in the statement was intended to be a subtle insult, but she couldn't figure it out. It actually seemed to be a sincere compliment, but that couldn't be right- and he was too good at sarcasm to make a sarcastic comment without it sounding like one. "I, uh..." She wasn't sure what to say back. "...Yeesh, there really is something wrong, isn't there?" she concluded.
"I am fine," he insisted, sounding briefly annoyed. "You were right, when you said that I have been thinking too much and not acting enough."
"I was?" If she wasn't worried about him before, she definitely was now; he never admitted that she was right (although she always was). "I... You... Is there something you wanna tell me?"
"Yes," he replied with complete sincerity.
"You're not... Contemplating suicide or anything, are you?"
"What- no!" he snapped, which was something of a relief- it was at least more along the lines of what she would expect from him. "I am not depressed or- or suicidal. I am simply trying to tell you something! Something that you have been too dense to pick up on!"
"Me? Dense?" she scoffed. "Look who's talking!" She couldn't believe that he was calling her dense, when his head was so thick that she was surprised he could even lift it. "You're practically a walking tree stump!"
"This is why I have not been able to talk to you lately!" he exclaimed angrily. "All you ever do is start fights! Sometimes I think you aren't happy unless someone wants to wring your neck!"
"Didya ever stop to think that I don't go around looking to start fights with you, it's just that you're a gigantic ass?" she shot back.
"And you are a relentless harpy!"
"And you're a stuck up, preachy idiot!"
"It is better than being a temperamental, stubborn know-it-all!"
"Get bent!" she snapped, then whirled around to storm off, but only succeeded in embarrassing herself by tripping over her own feet and falling over backwards.
And, of course, the moment was made all the more embarrassing by Shifu darting forward to catch her, as he always did. It was easy for him, too; all he did was grab her hand and pull her back to her feet before she had even touched the ground.
Then, as usual, she over-balanced and fell into him, and he had to wrap an arm around her to keep her from falling again; she wondered if she would ever get a break, or if she was simply destined to embarrass herself in front of him in such a way until the end of time. To make matters even worse, her heart was racing from being so close to him; just knowing that she was capable of having such a saccharine reaction made her sick to her stomach. "Well, now I just feel ridiculous."
"You are ridiculous," he replied, though he didn't sound angry anymore; in fact, he sounded amused. "I suppose you are upset now that your big moment was ruined."
She couldn't help but blush at that; it was true, but she didn't want to admit it out loud. Of course, her silence only made it all the more obvious that he had hit the nail on the head.
He let out a snort, paused for a moment, then burst out into full-on laughter at her.
"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled, even though she liked his laugh and the way she could feel his chest rumbling under her hands as she got ready to push him away. She liked it so much, in fact, that she hesitated, even though she knew that she was probably giving herself away with such an action.
His laughter faded at her touch, his eyes widening in surprise as he probably came to some typically male conclusions.
She supposed she would need to do some damage control, and made a show of rolling her eyes at him. "Don't flatter yourself, old man," she huffed, then attempted to push herself away from him; he had probably been too busy laughing at her misfortune to realize that he was still holding her. However, when she tried to step away, he didn't let go of her.
Instead, he kissed her.
A/N: OH SNAP, GINA.
I don't really have anything else to say on this chapter. Coming up next: the consequences.