A/N: Sorry that this is coming in so late. On top of apartment searching, I recently was sick with stomach flu for a few days... And that is my one weakness. I will work through everything up to and including flu, as long as it's not in the stomach. The moment I feel pain in the stomach though, I'm down for the count. Anyway, please forgive me. And enjoy the chapter!
Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda is the property of Dreamworks.
Chapter 30: Food Before Flowers
Shifu had thought that once he confessed his feelings to Lin he would have nothing left to worry about- after all, that was what he'd been fretting over in the first place. However, he'd been wrong. In fact, it had brought up a whole new set of worries. For one, he had basically no clue how to act in a relationship, especially not with Lin. She wasn't exactly standard when it came to women- or people in general, come to think of it. She was reluctant to talk about anything at all involving emotions (not that he was any better, but at least he was putting forth an effort), so he had absolutely no idea how she saw their relationship. He wasn't entirely sure if they even had one. And while he admitted he wasn't precisely what one would call "in touch with his feelings," he couldn't help but want to know what was going on between them. He wanted a name for it- any name would do, so long as there was one.
Master Oogway had once told him that his desire to categorize and label everything in his life stemmed from his control issues, but frankly he didn't see anything unreasonable about it. At the very least certain things needed definitions, and relationships just happened to be among those things. He just needed to convince Lin of that- hence his current worrying.
He couldn't spend all morning sitting in his room and trying to write a script in his head for exactly what he was going to say to Lin, though. He had to eventually get up, go down the hall to the kitchen, and talk to her. And he would preferably be able to bring himself to do so before the morning gong, to avoid any awkwardness in front of Tai Lung. (Having to tell Tai Lung about himself and Lin was yet another hurdle to overcome, but he had decided to take on his worries one at a time, lest he have a stress-induced heart attack).
He knew from experience that if he sat in his room mulling things over any longer he would be overcome by the anxiety, so he got up, brushed himself off, and took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen, anyway? If Lin got angry at him, he would just be in the same boat he'd been in dozens of times before. No big deal.
Shifu continued to attempt to talk himself down as he headed toward the kitchen with the sincere hope that Lin was in a good mood. When he entered the room, she seemed neither irritable nor especially happy. She just looked tired (though that was nothing new for her).
"Yo," she greeted casually; she was at the table, writing up a grocery list while a pot heated on the stove.
He could only guess on the contents of that pot, although the whole kitchen smelled of coconut, so he had a pretty good idea. He hadn't even known they'd had coconut, though knowing Lin she had probably prepared her own coconut milk at three o' clock in the morning just because she was in the mood for it. "How are you?" He decided to save all of his food-related questions for later, though.
"Frustrated." She tossed her brush on the table and took a sip of the tea that sat beside her. "I'm tired of having the same stuff to eat over and over, but I'm not sure what to get for something different, y'know?"
"I was under the impression that everything we ate was somewhat 'different.'" Half the things she'd made for them he'd never eaten before.
"Yeah, but how many times can you have rice porridge for breakfast? I at least wanna pick up something new for that."
"Like what?" Personally, he didn't mind the frequency with which they ate the porridge, and Lin always seemed to find something new to flavor it with.
"I dunno. Like ewe's milk curds and oats or something."
"Ew."
"No, ewe. And curds are delicious, by the way. Or should I say whey?" She paused to snort at her own terrible pun. "Not that you'd have any concept of what is and isn't delicious."
Shifu rolled his eyes at her monologue as she finished up her tea and leaned back in her seat, pressing her lips together as she thought. He only wished he could get her to apply such deep contemplation to something other than food.
"I could try my hand at syrup," she suddenly suggested, perking up at the idea.
"Absolutely not," he protested immediately. "Tai Lung has enough sugar in his diet as it is." He shuddered to think of how the boy would be bouncing off the walls if he was ever introduced to syrup, of all things.
"Fine," she huffed. "I won't broaden my horizons by learning to make my own syrup."
"'Broaden your horizons?'" he repeated, raising his eyebrows as he finally took a seat next to her. "Don't you think you are exaggerating just a little bit?" At this rate, he was never going to be able to turn the topic of conversation from food to commitment, especially since Lin seemed to like the former so much better than the latter.
"No such thing for me," she replied shortly, then filled a cup of tea for him and pushed it into his hands. "And don't think I dunno you only came here to talk about this crap that's happening between us. I ain't a dumbass, y'know." Well, that was one way to breach the subject.
"I was actually going to ask you how you see this relationship, but I suppose that answers my question," he huffed. He didn't see how she could be so flippant about something so... Well, big, for lack of a better word. At least, it was a big deal for him. "What do I have to do to get you to stop acting so disillusioned for five minutes?"
"And whadda I gotta do to get you to quit being so dramatic?" She even had the nerve to flick him on the nose; he shouldn't have been so surprised, though. Lin was pretty much made up entirely of nerve.
"As per usual, I am stunned by your sensitivity and compassion." He supposed sarcasm would be the best way to deal with the argument without it turning into a shouting match; Lin seemed to actually enjoy his sarcasm, after all.
"You're missing the point." She got up from the table and checked on the contents of her pot on the stove, then gave it a quick stir with her wooden spoon. "Sure, we could act all gross and infatuated, and barf all over each other."
"How romantic."
"But that's what infatuated idiots do. That's what people who got nothing to talk about at the end of the day do. It's what people who don't really know each other do. I like to think we're past all that. And let's face it, we never really had a chance to be in it, what with the whole you hating me immediately thing."
Shifu had a feeling that she was never going to let him forget that. "You make it sound as though we are an old married couple."
"First of all-" she turned and pointed her spoon at him- "don't use the 'm' word around me. Second, we might as well be, with the way we act. And since when is that a bad thing?"
"It isn't. It's not... Well, it is just that there should be some affection between us, right?" He was getting nowhere fast in this discussion.
"I guess you and I got different definitions of affection."
"Or perhaps you are just afraid of intimacy," he suggested, even though she would probably get offended.
"You are a sandy vagina," she replied simply.
"I thought I was a dick tip."
"You're a dick tip inside a sandy vagina. How's that?" She very clearly wanted to end the discussion, but he wasn't ready to give up just yet.
"All I really want to know is this: what am I to you?"
"Annoying," she answered, without missing a beat.
He hadn't expected to get anything meaningful from her anyway, but he was nothing if not persistent. "Be serious!" he snapped. "Is it really that much to ask? Would the world end if you said out loud that I am more to you than just your friend or- or your large-headed employer?"
"Maybe." Of course she wasn't moved in the least by his plea. "Y'know what Oogway says: nothing is impossible."
"He is wrong," Shifu grumbled, irritated by how stubborn she was being. "It is impossible to reason with you- at all."
"Fine. Be that way." She actually walked up to him and grabbed the tea she'd given him right out of his hands. "This tea is only for people who trust me."
"But I-" He stopped short when Tai Lung walked into the kitchen, yawning. The last thing he wanted to do was have this discussion in front of his son.
"Here, this's for you," Lin told Tai Lung, then gave him the tea and walked out of the kitchen.
"What about breakfast?" Shifu called after her, even though he knew it was no use.
"Wow," Tai Lung marveled as he watched her go, then walked over to the stove and sniffed at the pot Lin had left behind. "That must be some kind of record." He set his tea down on the counter, apparently not interested in drinking it.
"And you must be in the mood to run laps." Shifu was absolutely, positively not going to allow his child to become involved in his love life... Any further.
"Story of my life," he sighed, his complete lack of discipline downright startling.
"Tai Lung!"
"Sorry, Master. It's just that... Well, can't you figure this whole romance thing out on your own? I'm running low on advice." He was acting as though Shifu had actually asked for advice.
"Go to the training hall, now. I will meet you there." He didn't have to think hard to be able to guess whose influence Tai Lung's impertinence had grown under.
"Remember what Lin said-"
"I will bring you something to eat!" he snapped. "Just go!"
"Yes, Master." Tai Lung finally seemed to be taking him seriously, and departed with a relatively respectful bow.
Shifu sighed and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. He wondered if whatever was in the pot on the stove was edible. Well, there was only one way to find out.
Shifu questioned his own sanity as he traversed the mountain, in search of Lin. It had been mere hours since he had finally convinced Lin that he cared for her and he was already resorting to taking his son's romantic advice, and after he'd chastised the boy for getting involved. He had to admit, it wasn't exactly bad advice, and it wasn't as if he had any other ideas. Then again, that did not necessarily mean that it was good advice, either. He spared a dubious glance at the gift he had prepared for Lin: flowers. He had wanted to resolve the tension that had resulted from the morning's conversation before lunch, and as a result he had actually picked flowers, as Tai Lung had suggested. He felt like such a... He believed Lin called it a "goober." Or was it a "magoo?" Sometimes he simply couldn't keep track of all the insults she had in her vocabulary. "This is your life now, Shifu," he grumbled to himself. "You might as well get used to it."
That was a good point, actually. If Lin was staying in the valley (and why would she leave when their romance had just begun to grow?) he was going to have to get used to this kind of thing. and by "this kind of thing" he mainly meant trying to win her over after he'd lost a fight. He supposed he'd be doing it for the rest of his life. And he wanted to, as well. He realized that it was strange for him to be thinking such things so soon, but he wasn't the type of person who would wait around for things to get serious. And he had a feeling that Lin was the type of woman who only a serious man could hold onto- if anyone could at all.
Somehow he also got the feeling that a bunch of ridiculous flowers would hardly help him hold onto her. Unless he was planning to hold onto her fist with his face. He shook his head at that thought; Tai Lung wasn't the only one who had been influenced by Lin, it would seem.
Speaking of whom, he found her walking along the path between the peach tree and the barracks, though she didn't have any freshly picked peaches on her, surprisingly enough. "Ah, Lin," he greeted, very aware of the strange look she was giving him because of the bouquet. "I, ahm... Here." Shifu felt heat rise to his face as he shoved the bunch of white flowers at her; he couldn't even bring himself to look her in the eye, he was so embarrassed by such an out of character display.
To his utter shock, Lin accepted the flowers with a delighted squeal. Perhaps Tai Lung had been right in his theory about the feminine love for all things floral. However, he soon saw exactly why Lin was so excited to receive the gift when she began to eat the flowers. Or, more accurately, she picked them off their stems, one by one, and stuck the ends in her mouth.
"...You're eating them," he observed flatly. "Right." He really shouldn't have been surprised by her actions, yet somehow he still was. "I should have known."
"They're honeysuckles!" she replied, sounding offended. "It's not like I go around just shoving everything I see into my mouth!"
He decided not to reply to that.
"Oh- you're an ass," she huffed, then actually went so far as to forcibly shove one of the flowers into his mouth.
He would have retaliated to that, but he was surprised to find that a sweet nectar was dripping from the end of the flower onto his tongue. It was actually quite delicious.
"More specifically, this is Amur Honeysuckle or Bush Honeysuckle," she recited authoritatively, "native to western and northern China, as well as Mongolia, Korea, and Japan. Its berries, which range from bright red to black, while edible to birds are mildly poisonous to mammals, though the nectar is perfectly safe." She popped another flower into her mouth and sucked on it with a smug expression on her face.
"Would you like to follow that up with some citations and an example of the earliest known record of the honeysuckle bush in Chinese history?" he mocked, despite the fact that he had given her the flowers to begin with to try to win her over. He simply couldn't help himself, not after such a display.
"Go ahead and make fun of me," she sniffed indignantly, turning away from him. "You're the one going around randomly giving out flowers."
"Wait a minute!" He followed her as she walked back up toward the barracks. "I am not just walking around randomly giving out flowers." He tried to think of some way to tell her exactly what he was trying to do without getting made fun of, but failed. "I mean- just- I'm just giving them to you."
"Oh, I get it," she replied as she continued to suck the nectar from the flowers. "Whaddaya want for dinner, huh? Dumplings?"
"Wha- no! That is not the reason I gave you flowers!" He couldn't believe that she was even capable of being so dense. He'd thought she'd be able to pick up on his meaning immediately, but he supposed that even Lin had her limits. "It's just a gift!"
"Dessert, then- you want dessert," she guessed, still not getting the hint.
"No! I do not want dessert." They had reached the barracks, but he blocked her path to stop her from going inside. "I am not trying to get you to cook me something. I... I thought you were angry with me."
Rather than explain to him what was going on in her head, she simply shrugged. "These things happen," she dismissed, then ate another flower.
There were times when he truly wanted to strangle her. "You and I both know that I am not a patient man, so why don't you do me a favor and explain to me why you gain such pleasure from my mental and emotional abuse?"
"'Cause it's funny," she replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "But I wasn't trying to abuse you this time. I wanted out of that conversation this morning. And besides, let's face the truth. You really don't trust me."
"How can you say that?" he argued immediately, although he had to admit he could see how he may have given her that impression.
"'Cause it's obvious! You don't trust me with Tai Lung, you don't trust me with money, you barely trust me with your food- you just don't trust me in general. I know you're a suspicious person by nature, so I don't really take it personally. All I'm saying is... Well, you don't." She attempted to get around him and walk away from the conversation as usual, but he blocked her way again.
"But I do trust you," he insisted, and he realized that it was actually true. It had happened much in the same way he had fallen in love with her: completely unnoticed. Besides that, he had always been taught that love and trust went hand in hand, so the last thing he wanted her to think was that he didn't trust her. "I admit that I was suspicious of you in the past, but over time I have come to trust you."
"Then you won't mind if I never, ever tell you anything about my past," she shot back immediately.
"I- no," he replied, though he couldn't keep from sounding strained. "I will not mind. Not in the least." That was not exactly truthful, but if he had to make a choice between knowing about her past and being with her... Well, the latter won out.
"And you'll let me answer Tai Lung's many questions about life in general," she added.
"Yes," he ground out, with considerable effort. "With great pleasure." Again, that was not quite the truth about how he felt, but if she was going to stay with them, then it was a point he was going to have to concede on. After all, if he hoped to one day convince her to marry him... That would then make her Tai Lung's stepmother. He decided not to think too much about that particular detail.
"And I can have a raise." She was definitely pushing her luck with that one.
"No."
"It was worth a try." She eyed him for a moment, as if sizing him up. "You're really serious about this, ain'tya?"
"Yes, I am." He was glad that, for once, she was actually taking him seriously. "And you trust me... Right?"
She surprised him with how easily she answered that. "'Course I do. I always trusted you, y'know."
He couldn't keep his face from turning just a little red at that. "Oh." He wasn't sure if he should thank her or not. He'd never been too good with words when it came to more... Sentimental situations.
"I guess there's something else I should tellya. While we're on the subject of trust and stuff." She actually seemed sincere. "It's not an easy thing to say."
"Go on," Shifu prompted, sensing her hesitancy. He wondered, or rather hoped, for a brief shining moment that she was going to talk about love.
"I, uhm... I'm l- y'see, I'm gonna..." She paused, fidgeting with the honeysuckles, then let out a heavy sigh. "I'm le- llllucky I just restocked the cabinets, 'cause you've really been stuffing your face lately."
He stared back at her, incredulous. "That was what you had to tell me?" He couldn't believe she'd strung him along like that just for a joke about his weight.
"Yeah," she replied. "Sorry." Then, despite how she'd just insulted him, she did something absolutely amazing. She leaned forward and kissed him. It was a short, shallow kiss, but it still made his heart jump up into his throat.
"Okay," he agreed mindlessly when she pulled away, still dumbstruck from the sign of affection.
"Tell anyone I did that and you're dead," she threatened harshly, then shoved the flowers into his hands and walked away.
He watched her go, then realized belatedly that she had most likely only kissed him to shut him up. "This is my life now," he reminded himself flatly, then picked a honeysuckle off its stem and stuck it in his mouth; it actually was rather good.
The heavenly aroma of freshly minced garlic filled the air as Lin prepared the best comfort food she could think of: noodles. They were the first thing she'd ever learned to cook and the first dish she turned to when things started to get a little too heavy for her liking. And of course she added extra garlic, because that was how her grandmother had taught her to make them. Plus she loved garlic.
In any case, she couldn't ignore the situation she was currently in. She was having very substantial doubts about the decision she had made. No regrets, just doubts. She knew Shifu well enough to know that he wouldn't be content with whatever was going on between them being so... Vague. She hadn't expected anything to change, really, aside from the kissing part- but he was being genuinely nice and... Sweet. He was still acting like a huge dork, sure, but it wasn't the same. He'd picked flowers for her, for God's sake! There were a lot of things that she could put up with, but flowers? Really?
Not to mention the fact that she was starting to feel sort of... Guilty. It was a rare feeling for her, so she didn't take it lightly. She hadn't changed her mind about leaving- not by a long shot- but Shifu didn't know that. And the more time she spent with him the more she got the impression that he was planning (because what else did he do?) for their stunted little romance to become a permanent thing. He was an all or nothing kind of guy.
She honestly understood that sort of thinking, but she lived the kind of life in which it was a luxury. She could barely plan on being alive the next day, let alone think about spending the rest of her life with someone. She wouldn't be surprised if Shifu was already planning the wedding (as if she would ever get married).
Maybe she would feel better if she talked to him. She was probably just being her normal paranoid self, anyway. She was getting all worked up over nothing. Besides, what were the chances he even loved her? Sure, he'd said he cared for her- it probably wasn't anything deep, though. She had absolutely nothing to worry about. She should probably still talk to him, though. She doubted she would have the balls to actually come out and say she was leaving- she hadn't been able to do it when he'd given her those flowers, even though she'd tried. She just... For once, she didn't want him to be angry at her. Just for a little while.
"Ah, it smells good in here."
She would at least need to talk to him about giving her more space. "What're you, stalking me or something?" It was as good a way as any to start out.
Shifu looked somewhat disgruntled at the way she'd greeted him, but made no comment on it. "So what are you making?"
"Noodles," she replied airily. "Not that you need 'em." That one would get to him for sure.
"Well, I am looking forward to tasting them." While his voice was a bit strained, he still made no effort to give her a decent comeback.
"I'm sure you do." She turned away from the stove to face him, hoping he would crack soon.
Luckily enough, he did. "What is wrong with you?" he snapped. "I have been going out of my way to be nice to you all day long, and all you can do is call me fat!"
She didn't really take his outburst seriously, but she was going to pick at him for it anyway. "Don't you think it's kinda weird that you gotta go outta your way to be nice to me when we're somehow vaguely romantically involved?"
"And I wonder whose fault that is," he shot back, crossing his arms.
She watched him fume for a moment, then decided to cut him a little slack and get to the point. "Y'know, you're really easy to manipulate."
Predictably enough, he glared at her. "You were trying to get me angry?"
"You don't hafta be nice to me," she replied, hoping he would take her advice. He could be kind of a blockhead. "You don't hafta get me gifts or hover around me all day or even compliment me- hell, I don't even care if we even kiss or not. You don't hafta do anything different."
"But we are- we're- see, a definition would really come in handy right now."
"Why can't you ever just enjoy yourself? Who cares if there's no label for what we have? That's not what's important." She marveled at how easily she was able to digress from what she actually wanted to say. "Just relax and have fun," she settled on. "Whatever happens, happens. Y'get my drift?"
He still seemed pretty miffed, and he just glared at her a moment. Then he huffed, "I see," and crossed his arms.
Sometimes she really just wanted to hit him. "What is it now?"
"I was under the impression that you were taking this relationship seriously," he clarified, a huge frown on his face.
Lin wondered what to say to that; if she agreed with him, he would no doubt have a huge fight with her about it, and he might not forgive her. If she denied it, she might give him the impression that she was as serious as he was. "Define 'serious,'" she ventured cautiously.
"As in sincere," he grumbled, getting more offended by the minute.
"Well that's not really the same." She doubted he would offer her any more help, though. "Look, I'm sincere. Really. It's just... I get the impression that when you say 'serious,' you really mean, 'start planning the honeymoon.' And... That's kinda weird and scarily overzealous."
He blushed a little bit, and she could tell she'd hit the nail on the head. "That is not what I mean," he denied.
"Look, I really like you and all... But I can't start planning to grow old together. Hell, I don't even plan to grow old period. I'm actually hoping to die young in a blaze of glory- but that's not the point. The point is... Stop over-thinking it. Okay?" She was confident that her plea was articulate enough to reach him, or at the very least sounded sincere.
"...I suppose you are right," he agreed reluctantly. "After all, it has only been a day."
"That's the spirit." She turned back to her noodles, relieved. She may not yet be able to tell him that she was leaving, but she had at least convinced him that they weren't bound together for all eternity.
"There is just one more problem to address." Of course, he had to ruin her shining moment.
"What?"
"What are we going to tell Tai Lung?" He sounded pretty worried.
"I got it covered. We'll have a talk over dinner." She grabbed a spoon and tasted her noodles; they needed just a little more salt. "It'll be brief, to the point, and absolutely not on the table for discussion."
"I am starting to understand what I see in you." He attempted to sneak up behind her and kiss her on the cheek, but she reached up and yanked on his beard. "Ouch!"
"I'm cooking, don't distract me." She realized she was being sort of mean, but she didn't want to have to deal with all that dumb romantic crap at the moment. Besides, she didn't feel like having to wipe her cheek off. "Set the table, why dontchya?"
"I suppose I will have to tell Master Oogway at some point," he thought aloud, ignoring her request (more like order) to set the table.
She had actually already asked Oogway to come to dinner. She figured she might as well kill two birds with one stone, and she really didn't want Shifu telling Oogway about it in one of their sappy little chats. "No need, I invited him to dinner." She added the salt and tasted her broth again. "I am a genius," she concluded.
"Wonderful," Shifu grumbled.
"Well, now what's wrong?" She was starting to wonder if he was capable of being content with anything.
"You are going to say something completely embarrassing and inappropriate, I know it." He knew her all too well.
"Don't be silly. I haven't planned that far ahead." That much, at least, was true. Still, she figured if she was going to make the announcement, she might as well embarrass Shifu as much as humanly possible.
"Mark my words, whatever you do to me, I will get you back for it."
And she wouldn't have it any other way. "Now this is what I call romance." She laughed at the way he glared at her. "You gonna set the table or what?"
He muttered something that sounded like, "I did this to myself," and started looking through the cabinets for some bowls and spoons.
"Use the red set," she ordered.
"That is for special occasions," he huffed.
"Oh, so I'm not special to you?" That did the trick, and he grudgingly grabbed an armful of red bowls. She was enjoying herself a little more than she should have, but she couldn't help herself.
"I assume we will be having tea as well, even though we already have broth." He didn't wait for her to answer, and started setting out cups.
"See, lookit how good you are at this," she teased. "You should set the table more often."
"Perhaps I would if you were not such a harpy," he shot back.
"You guys are fighting again?" Tai Lung walked into the kitchen in the company of Oogway, surprisingly enough. The kid usually didn't spend a lot of time in the old turtle's company, since he professed to having no idea what Oogway was saying half the time.
"Well, to me it looks as if you two are getting along quite well." Oogway winked knowingly at them before taking a seat at the opposite end of the table from Tai Lung.
Lin wouldn't be surprised if the old man had been spying on her and Shifu. "I made noodles for dinner," she informed them. "With lotsa garlic, so don't be surprised if your breath stinks later."
"Such eloquence to your words," Shifu said sarcastically as he handed her a couple of bowls so she could start serving. "It is almost as if you are a poet."
"It's a subtle art," she replied and handed him the filled bowls so he could give them to Tai Lung and Oogway.
"Hey, these're the good dishes," Tai Lung observed as he peered down at his noodles. "These're only for special occasions. What's going on?"
"Something worth celebrating, it would seem," Oogway answered him. There was absolutely no way that Oogway could know what was going on for sure, though. He had to just be guessing.
"I suppose there is no point in drawing it out," Shifu sighed, then raised his eyebrows at Lin. "I believe you wanted to play the messenger?"
"How gracious of you." She walked up to the table to stand beside him and cleared her throat. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you here," she began in a prodigious tone, ignoring the way Shifu rolled his eyes at her.
"Um... For dinner?" Tai Lung asked hesitantly, looking rather wary of her announcement.
"Besides that."
"You want a raise?" Oogway tried, and it was a good guess.
"Besides that, too." She figured she could only drag it out for so long. "Y'see, Shifu and I... Uhm... We sorta..." She realized that she had no idea what to say on the subject. So, she did the first thing that came to her mind. "This-" she paused to slap one hand loudly on Shifu's ass- "is mine." she gave it a little extra squeeze, too, just for emphasis.
The reactions were immediate, of course. Shifu looked absolutely horrified and hissed at her, "I cannot believe you just did that in front of my child."
Meanwhile, Oogway seemed rather unfazed and offered up a simple, "It is about time."
Tai Lung just covered his eyes and groaned like someone who'd just been punched in the gut. "Barf!" he exclaimed.
Lin figured that had gone pretty well, all things considered. "My work here is done," she stated haughtily.
"If you ever do that to me again, your life here will be done," Shifu threatened emptily.
"Shut up and go get me some noodles." She plopped down into her usual seat and leaned toward Oogway. "You didn't actually know about this, right?"
"Of course not," he replied serenely. "Just like anyone else, I have no way of knowing for sure about anything in this life or the next." He gave her one of his reassuring smiles and sipped at his soup. "Delicious noodles, by the way."
She eyed him suspiciously for that one, but she supposed he had a point, and she couldn't prove otherwise. "Thanks."
"I do not care how delicious they are," Shifu stated flatly as he placed a steaming bowl in front of Lin and then sat down with his own, "I am not doing the dishes again. You are still on the payroll, you know." He seemed to really like the noodles, by the way he started scarfing them down.
"Yeah, barely," she quipped, though technically her pay was fair considering that she was also given room and board. "Y'know, there should be organizations for workers, set in place to protect their rights. Organizations to guarantee health care, fair hours, good working conditions- and raises. Imagine a world in which an automatic raise after the first three months of employment wasn't just possible, but expected."
He stopped stuffing his face long enough to look disgruntled at the suggestion. "One person's utopia is another's nightmare. Who would pay for all of that?"
"Maybe the workers could feed a small portion of their pay into the organization," she suggested. "Or maybe our essentially flawed imperialist societal structure will finally collapse, and in the settling dust a glorious new age of socialism will arise. Hey, kid, you okay? You barely touched your noodles." She had noticed halfway through her diatribe that Tai Lung still seemed a little shell-shocked.
"I'm okay," he confirmed, looking back and forth between Lin and Shifu with his brow furrowed. "It's just... Nothing really seems different from before."
"Why would it be?"
He let out a frustrated sigh and finally started eating. "Well, aren't you guys in love?"
Shifu immediately started choking on his dinner, and if Lin had been in the midst of chewing anything, she would have as well. Instead, she settled on just staring back at him.
Luckily, Oogway seemed to be in a merciful mood, and jumped in to save them. "I believe this calls for a story," he announced. "How would you like to hear about Shifu's sordid youth?" Apparently he wasn't feeling too merciful toward Shifu, though.
It seemed to cheer Tai Lung up, and it definitely diverted his attention. "Sure!"
Lin leaned back in her seat as Oogway began what was bound to be an embarrassing tale of Shifu's childhood, relieved that he had stepped in. While she knew that it would be inevitable for the whole love discussion to come up sooner or later, she absolutely did not want to have it in front of Tai Lung and Oogway. Hell, she barely wanted to have it in privacy. Besides, she was leaving soon, anyway, so what would be the point in talking about love?
Still, as she watched Shifu blush at Oogway's mention of his irrational childhood fear of fecal matter (apparently he'd thought it was some kind of monster), she knew that out of all the places she'd been in her life, she would miss the Valley of Peace the most.
A/N: Sorry, I tried to keep Oogway's story as clean as possible, but I just couldn't think of any childhood stories (real or made up) that didn't have something to do with poop. And in case anyone was wondering where I got the idea for that childhood fear, it was mine. Anyway, more apologies for the lateness- I promise I WILL catch up and post on time next chapter.
Speaking of next chapter... Lin and Shifu continue with their less-than-conventional whatever-type-of-relationship. Will she tell him that she's leaving? Will she chicken out again? Will I ever resolve anything in the fic? Stay tuned to find out.