A/N: Sorry for the continued lateness! -_- It turns out that packing and cleaning everything you've ever owned in your entire life, moving it all two hours away, and then searching for a new job are all much more time consuming than I had originally thought. That is my excuse, anyway. I have to thank each and everyone one of you returning readers/reviewers for putting up with my nonsense. Thank you so much!
Also... So maybe the fic will be more like 36 chapters... Or so. I swear the end is nigh, it's just that since the fic is so slow paced I would feel like a dicktip rushing the end. Anyway, on with the chapter!
Disclaimer: Dreamworks owns Kung Fu Panda.
Chapter 31: You Are What You Eat
Shifu had to admit, he was relieved to have finally admitted that he had feelings for Lin. And he was happy that she returned those feelings, at least to some degree. And he was even enjoying the time they'd been spending together, despite her deliberate attempts to get on his nerves. However, one problem still remained. Well, actually, there were many problems, but this was the most immediate one.
Lin did not like to be touched.
He'd known going in that she didn't like to be touched, of course. He'd just thought that maybe she would make an exception for him. As usual when it came to Lin, he'd thought wrong.
It had been precisely five days, fourteen hours, and thirty-two minutes since he had become her- whatever she wanted to call it- and she was acting as if he carried the plague. She had kissed him that one time, after he'd given her the honeysuckles, but that had only been to shut him up. Since then, every time he had attempted to kiss her had been met with the same reaction. She would literally put her hand on his face, push his head back and say, "Move away from me." His other attempts at physical intimacy (kissing her on the cheek, holding her hand, basically non-violent touching of any kind) had been met with similar reactions.
He didn't think of himself as particularly touchy or intimate, but this was ridiculous. It was as if she were actually repulsed by him, which, after all of her teasing of him being fat and old and having a huge head and stupid-looking facial hair, he somehow found rather easy to believe. He felt like he'd had more physical intimacy with her back when he'd been merely tolerating her presence.
There was only one thing he could think to do at this point. He knew from experience that if he attempted to talk to her about his concerns she would just make an excuse to walk away from him, and actions spoke louder than words anyway. He would just have to walk straight up to her, sweep her into his arms, and kiss her like he'd never kissed anyone before. Then she would see what she had been missing. And no, that had not been Tai Lung's idea. For once. And if that failed as spectacularly as he suspected it would... Well, at least he'd have one good kiss before his untimely death. He hoped it would be good, anyway.
He paused outside the kitchen, taking a moment to savor the heavenly aroma of pan-fried fruit wafting out the door. It could quite possibly be the last thing he ever smelled. Well, that and dirt. Lin always smelled like two things: the last dish she had prepared, and dirt. Not to say she smelled dirty- more like freshly dug earth, right after rainfall. He'd always liked that scent. He wasn't going to get a nose-full of that smell, though, unless he "quit being a pussy," as Lin herself would put it. So, he took a deep breath, then charged into the kitchen, where Lin was at the stove, frying up a pan-full of sliced apples (and probably cinnamon). He walked right up to her (or behind her, rather), grabbed her around the waist- and that was as far as he got.
"Yeeeee!" she screeched, like he'd never heard anyone scream before, and lunged forward, throwing her arms in the air. Unfortunately, she also happened to be holding onto the pan, and when she threw her arms up she flung the apples across the room. "What the hell is wrong with you!" She dropped the pan onto the stovetop and turned around to glare at him.
"Uh..." He honestly didn't know how to react to what had just happened. "What was that, exactly?"
"I'm ticklish," she snapped, rubbing at her side. "And you snuck up on me."
"You are not ticklish," he replied, then reached out to poke at her.
"Stop it!" Lin dove out of the way of his hand, as if she were in a life or death situation, then scampered over to the table and shielded herself with a chair. "I swear to God, if you even try I will break this chair over your big head." She grabbed the chair and held onto it firmly, clearly agitated.
"My head is not big," he huffed. "And you're ticklish." It occurred to him that he could use this knowledge against her, and a slow smile spread across his face. "This is probably the greatest realization I have ever had."
She pointed at him and narrowed her eyes. "You are no longer allowed to touch me."
All the strange screeching noises she had made every time he'd ever touched her were starting to make sense- somewhat. "And how is that anything new?" he scoffed, and approached her.
She ran to the other side of the table, clearly wary of him. "If you so much as think of tickling me, I will castrate you. Make no mistake about that."
He still owed her for slapping his rear in front of Master Oogway and Tai Lung, so some teasing was definitely in order. "Don't be so jumpy. I'll be gentle."
"Don't," she barked, narrowing her eyes at him.
They both knew that he was much faster than she was- not that it was a difficult feat- and he was going to use that knowledge to his advantage. "What are you so worried about?" He took a few steps to the right, watching with no small amount of amusement as she also moved to her right in an attempt to keep distance between them. "You trust me, right?"
"Hah! You forget one thing: I am immune to my own techniques." She continued to watch him, waiting for his next move.
He was having far too much fun. "Then I suppose I will have to stick with my own methods." He raised one hand and wiggled his fingers at her, holding back a laugh at how disgruntled she looked at the taunt.
"Keep your weird hairy palms away from me!" she snapped in an apparent attempt to offend him.
"That is simply a part of red panda anatomy," he informed her calmly. "Which you would know if you were even half as familiar with it as you are with wolf anatomy."
"Well maybe I should go look it up," she replied, her gaze flitting briefly to the door before she made a break for it.
He headed her off all too easily and, for the first time in his life since Tai Lung had been a baby, he actually tickled someone. At least, he was pretty sure the poke he'd given her had tickled, because she let out a horrific shriek and literally jumped up onto the kitchen table in an attempt to crawl away from him. "This is almost too easy," he told her.
"You're dead," she growled back.
"It is very much worth it." He then leaped onto the table to chase after her and managed to get his arms around her waist again.
She sounded like she was being murdered, the way she screamed.
He couldn't hold back any longer. He just had to laugh at her. She was being so ridiculous that it was impossible not to burst out laughing.
And, surprisingly, the more he laughed, the less she screeched. And the less she screeched, the more she blushed adorably. And the more she blushed, the more he wanted to kiss her.
So, he risked his own well-being and did just that. It was even more worth it than the tickling.
She proved yet again just how unpredictable she could be and actually kissed back, too. And from the way she was gripping his shoulders, he doubted she was going to push him away. But the best part of all was when she let out a little noise that sounded like, "Mmf," and pressed her knee to his side. He thought his heart might stop right on the spot.
And then she belched. Right into his mouth. And it tasted like morning breath and garlic.
"Augh!" He pulled away, coughing in an attempt to get the taste out of his mouth.
"Wow, pussy," she replied flatly, clearly unhappy about his reaction- though what did she expect?
"Did you do that on purpose?" He honestly wouldn't be surprised if she had.
"No! It's gas, it's a natural bodily function!" She punched him in the chest, and definitely not in a friendly way. "And get your sweaty grundle offa me."
"What's a grundle?" Of course, Tai Lung had to walk into the kitchen at precisely that moment. "And why's breakfast all over the floor? And why're you guys on the table?"
Shifu had no idea how to answer any of those questions, and a sideways glance at Lin revealed that she was pretty stumped, herself.
"Master, you're not trying to strangle Lin or something, are you?" the boy went on, a concerned look on his face.
"Of course not," he huffed, then finally came out of his shock enough to climb down off the table. "I was just... Just..."
"Grundling her?" he asked with a level of innocence that revealed he had no clue what he'd just said.
"A grundle is the space between your junk and your butthole," Lin sighed, horrifying Shifu with how inappropriately she'd answered him. "I guess you could turn that into a verb, but if your dad ever asked me to do that I'd probably punt him off the mountain. As for breakfast, I'm gonna hafta start over on that."
"That's okay," Tai Lung replied in a strained voice as his eye twitched ever so slightly. "I need to go scrub out my ears, anyway." And then he ran away as if the kitchen were on fire.
Shifu wasn't sure where to start, but he decided to take Lin's advice and not over-think it. "Do you have any idea how much you just scarred him?"
"He'll get over it," she dismissed, hopping off the table. "Children are resilient."
"I might have to explain sex to him now!" Somehow he doubted that Lin would be sympathetic to such a plight.
"God forbid he know about the birds and the bees," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "If you had your way, he'd die of old age without ever knowing what his wiener's for."
"Do not ever mention Tai Lung's wiener to me, understand? Never."
"Case in point."
"This fight is not about Tai Lung," he growled, frustrated with how she managed to so thoroughly distract him from anything he actually wanted to talk to her about. "This fight is about how you cannot stand a single moment of intimacy between us!"
"What the- are you serious?" she snapped back. "What was that on top of the table, then, a friendly game of mahjong?"
"Yet you sabotaged it, just as you do any moment that gets even remotely intimate," he pointed out.
"I burped! People get gassy, it happens. You're acting like I slapped you across the face!"
He still wasn't convinced that it had been an accident. "Even so, I have never faced a challenge quite as difficult as attempting to get you to allow me to touch you."
"Sorry," she replied, and he would have been grateful for the apology if it didn't sound so unabashedly insincere. "Maybe you shouldn'ta grundled me."
"Don't you dare turn this into a joke," he warned, though he doubted she would heed it.
"Why not?" she shot back as she returned to the stove and restarted her apple dish. "It was just gas, and you're starting a whole big fight. If you hadn't freaked out to begin with, we might still be making out right now. You ever stop to thinka that?"
He did not believe that for a second, but he didn't say so. He was getting nowhere with his argument, so he watched her slice apples while he tried to think of something, anything that might actually have an impact. "All I am saying," he finally began, amazed at how reasonable he sounded, "is that I quite like physical contact. And you don't. And I think there needs to be a compromise involved here."
"Sure," she replied, but there was no way she would actually agree with him so easily. "Here's my proposal: don't touch me. There, compromise reached."
"That is not a compromise and you know it!"
"No means no." She then pointed to the door, apparently done speaking to him.
"But-"
"No means no."
He glared at her back a moment, weighing his options; if he stayed, he risked escalating the fight and being starved by Lin. If he left, he was conceding to her. "This conversation is not over," he informed her.
"My office is closed, in case you didn't get the hint."
He was not going to let her just end things there. "You must take appointments, then." If he couldn't get her to talk to him at the moment, then he would just have to try again.
Amazingly enough, she actually conceded. "You might be useful to me when I do my shopping. After lunch, that is. It's less crowded in the afternoon, so fewer people'll see me out in public with you."
"Funny," he huffed. "That is precisely what I was going to say to you." He left after that jab, because he didn't think he could take the aggravation anymore.
As he walked down the hallway, he couldn't help but reflect on what had just happened; he was beginning to think that his earlier paranoia had been correct, and that she really didn't find him attractive. To be honest, he wasn't exactly sure what she did like about him, now that he was thinking about it. She claimed to like him, but she had told him several times before that she liked him as a friend... So perhaps she was simply indulging her curiosity with their romance. But then why would she have struggled so much before coming to a decision on whether or not to accept his advances? Perhaps she was attracted to his personality, and simply not attracted to him physically. But then how was that any different than liking someone platonically? And besides, if she liked his personality then shouldn't the rest simply follow naturally?
That was how it had happened for him. When he'd first met her, of course he'd thought she was a scrawny, filthy vagabond with far too much fur. It was not as if he'd fallen in love at first sight- such things were preposterous. But as he had gotten to know Lin, his attraction to her had grown. She may not be what many would consider traditionally attractive, but she was still very pretty. Pretty enough, at least, that he would have no objections to throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her off to the bedroom. Not that he was a cad or anything of the like.
She did not seem to feel the same way about him, though. Despite her claim to like him, she seemed to actually be repulsed by him. Maybe she was off brushing her teeth right at that very moment, grimacing as she thought back on their kiss. Maybe she was even suppressing a gag. Or perhaps she was just plain laughing at him. He would be laughing at him, if he were her. He had somehow turned into a doormat, and he wouldn't be surprised if she was planning on once again walking all over him when he accompanied her down to the marketplace. He was not going to let that happen, though.
In fact, he was not going to give her even a fraction of an inch. Not again.
Lin let out an annoyed sigh as she browsed through fresh produce in the marketplace. While it wasn't quite filled with the hustle and bustle of morning, it was still significantly crowded- no surprise there. One of the many unreal things about the Valley of Peace was that, while in any other market all of the good produce would have been picked clean by this time of day, all of the produce here was good. At least, all of the produce her favorite vendors offered was good.
Obviously, her annoyance didn't stem from her shopping, but from her so-called assistant. Shifu had been acting like she'd killed his grandmother from the moment they'd set out on the trip, and she had no idea why. Well, she had some idea as to why, but she had a hard time believing that his moodiness was a direct result of her burping into his mouth. He seemed to think she'd done it on purpose, which she didn't see the reasoning behind- sure, she was still a little averse to the whole touching thing, but she'd been enjoying that kiss. If anyone was sabotaging their physical relationship it was him, with his delusional paranoia.
On top of all that, she had to deal with that group of women- rabbits, to be precise- who'd taken to giving Shifu "the eye" whenever he accompanied her to the marketplace. She would be the first to admit that among her flaws was the tendency to get extremely territorial and possessive, so she'd been silently fuming about said turn of events for quite some time. If she hadn't been in the midst of a senseless fight with Shifu, actually, she would have marched straight over to the flighty little twits and told them all to get lives. As it was, she simply frowned about it to herself as she searched through the wares of a produce stand for some decent avocados.
"Are you planning on buying everything in the marketplace that catches your fancy, or just everything in general?" he sniped at her, which he had been doing from the moment they'd arrived, and she was starting to get sick of it.
"I dunno why you think it's such a crime to spend money on food," she huffed as she picked up an avocado and pressed lightly on it with her thumb to test for ripeness.
"I do not have a problem with spending money on food," he shot back, then grabbed the avocado from her hands and placed it back on the stand. "I have a problem with spending an exorbitant amount of money on food."
"Then don't eat," she replied, and picked up another avocado.
"The fact that I actually volunteered to be here with you makes me question my own sanity."
"And the fact that you assume I would care makes me question your intelligence."
"I do not have to stand here and take this from you. I could leave and take my money with me," he threatened, though why he thought it would faze her at all she had no idea.
She rolled her eyes at the empty threat; Shifu would never leave her side unless he were actually angry about something. "You're acting like a child." She knew that one would insult him. "You got a problem with me, then go hang out with your horde of admirers." While that last part had been more than a little sarcastic, she couldn't help but feel just a twinge of jealousy as she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder at the women who were still eyeing him.
"Perhaps I should," he shot back, to her surprise. That had been a little immature for him.
"...Um. What?" She wondered if she was even hearing right.
"They seem to like my big head," he huffed, then actually walked away.
Lin watched him go, her brow furrowed. "...Did I miss something?" she muttered to herself.
He was really talking to those biddies, too. Like he had any "game" whatsoever! Lin was familiar with what it took to charm a lady, and Shifu did not have it. Not in the least. So why was he even trying?
She figured he must be trying to get her angry or jealous. And while it was working, she still had to wonder why. She must have done something. Could it have been about that burp? But she didn't see what the big deal was about a little gas. Whatever his problem was, she was pretty sure that one of the women had just touched him, and that was not okay. It was time to end whatever little game he was trying to play with her.
Without any preamble, she marched over, crossed her arms, and glared at the women. "Scatter," she ordered, then turned to Shifu. "As for you, Miss Thang- what the hell is wrong with you? One minute I'm trying to pick out dinner for tonight and the next you're trying to hit on chicks right in front of me!" She turned back to the women, who for some reason had remained within her sights and were now giggling at her outburst. "I said scram, ladies!" she growled in as menacing a tone she could muster. "This ain't no peep show!" That seemed to do the trick.
"You are making a scene," he grumbled, though she could tell that he was pleased she'd gotten so ruffled.
"And you," she ground out, giving him a hard poke in the chest, "are a huge baby."
"In what way?"
She couldn't believe he was arguing the point with her. "I did absolutely nothing and yet for some reason you are acting like I just coated my thumb in mustard and stuck it right up your clenched little sphincter."
"First, before I argue with you: ew. That is disgusting." He started walking and she assumed it was so they could find a more private place to fight. "As for my argument: I am not acting any more disagreeable than you usually do."
"Once again: you are a baby." If there weren't so many witnesses, she would beat him to death with her groceries. "What has got your panties in such a sandy bunch?"
"You have," he replied; at least he'd finally admitted there was something wrong.
"I dunno what I did!" she pointed out. "All I know is that you're being ridiculous."
"Not so fun from the other side, is it?" He was really getting on her nerves.
"Y'know what?" she snapped, fed up. "Screw it! I ain't gonna sit around trying to figure out why you're PMSing alluva sudden. Go suck a dick." With that, she turned around and stormed off to continue the grocery shopping on her own.
"Very well," he called after her. "I am sure you don't want to be seen with me, anyway!" He just couldn't let it end, though.
In spite of her desire to walk away, she turned on her heel and went right back to him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know perfectly well what it means," he replied, then attempted to walk away from her.
"Oh no you don't." She chased after him, mostly out of some twisted desire to get the last word. "That's not how this works. I'm the one who acts like a bitch and walks away from the fight."
"Well I would rather not discuss this in public." He was not going to get away with that excuse.
"Too bad, you're the one who started it in public." She eyed a nearby narrow alleyway, much like the one she'd taken shelter in with Tai Lung when she'd injured herself, and grabbed him by the sleeve. "C'mon." She yanked him along with her, off the main street. "You are gonna tell me what the malfunction is with you today, or else I'm kicking your ass."
"As if you could," he scoffed.
She just glared and waited for him to spill the beans.
"I do not understand why you suddenly care so much about what I am feeling." He was stalling.
"Of course I care! Now out with it, I ain't got all day."
"You would not understand it, anyway," he continued to stall.
"Are you planning on just making excuses all day?" She personally thought she was a very understanding person.
"No, I don't think I should-"
She was getting impatient and very fed up, so she just talked over him. "Well I do-"
He followed suit and did the same to her, and of course the fight just escalated from there. "You are not always right, in case-"
"Yes I am-"
"Do not even start with-"
"You just need to get your head out your ass-"
"I could say the same to you-"
"-Just don't see that-"
"You are not attracted to me!"
Lin paused at that one, fairly sure that it was off-topic. "Wait- what?"
"You are not attracted to me," Shifu repeated, and he was definitely being truthful because he seemed mortified at having to say so out loud.
"I'm not?" That was news to her.
"No!" He apparently didn't want to elaborate, either.
"And you came to this conclusion... How?" She was still stumped by his confession.
"Well what else am I supposed to think when you can barely stand to kiss me?" He seemed genuinely upset, which was what threw her off the most.
"Relationships that develop an emotional base before moving on to a physical level are always stronger." She doubted he would buy that lame excuse, though.
"You are the most dishonest person I have ever met," he replied harshly. "According to you I am old and fat with huge ears and a stupid mustache, and every time I touch you I have to steel myself for rejection. Tell me, what in that equation adds up to attraction?"
"I was just teasing you all those times!" She couldn't believe she was even talking to him about something so... Awkward.
"Admit it, I really am just a five to you," he huffed.
"Maybe a five and a half," she added. She hadn't meant to make an insensitive joke at such a tense moment, but it had become automatic with him.
"You see? You don't really find me attractive. That is why you won't let me touch you."
"That's not true!" she insisted, though she doubted she'd be able to comfort him so easily. She'd never even thought he'd be so bothered by something like this. "Just 'cause you're a five doesn't mean I'm not attracted to you. A lotta people prefer fives. Like me, for instance. Besides, you're still way outta my league- I'm like a one. Maybe a one and a half."
"You are not a one and you know it," he grumbled, though he appeared calmer than he'd been before.
"Thanks, but I think your tastes run a little too low-brow, compared to the rest of society." She paused and eyed him, trying to think of something positive to say, just to prove that she really was attracted to him. "I like your butt," she settled on.
"What?" He blinked at her in surprise.
"Your ass. I look at it all the time." She could feel herself blushing at the admission. "You got nice eyes, too, I guess." She tried not to make the admission sound too awkward, lest he think she was lying. "And I think your mustache is cute. That doesn't mean it's not stupid, though."
"Oh." He was blushing like a virgin bride, so she guessed that she'd actually gotten through to him. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Ever." It took a lot to embarrass her, and this was definitely what she would call "a lot."
"You really meant all that?"
"What'd I just say?"
"Right." He looked pleased, at least. "I suppose I acted a bit unreasonable."
"You sure did," she agreed readily.
He narrowed his eyes at her for that one, but moved on with their conversation. "I only want to know why you seem to hate physical contact so much. I know you think that the past does not matter, but how do you expect me to understand you when I don't know why you do the things you do?" He sounded concerned, which actually frightened her a little bit.
She didn't like it when he got concerned for her or worried about her; he was just wasting his time, anyway. "It's nothing," she replied, and took a step back from him under the guise of shifting her weight. "It's just not something I'm used to." That was an understatement.
"I don't get it," he reiterated, shaking his head. "I mean, it is not as if I go around hugging Master Oogway and Tai Lung- I'm not exactly used to it, either. But I am willing to try to have some intimacy with you." He paused, waiting for her to say something, but she just remained silent, avoiding his gaze in favor of staring at the wall next to her. "It would be nice if, for once, I could hold you without worrying that you'll get angry with me."
Lin grunted at that, then turned her eyes to the sky to examine the clouds while she formulated a response; she wanted to tell him the truth, but the problem was that she wasn't exactly sure what the truth was. She sometimes thought about her various hang-ups and wondered about their origins, but she was no psychologist. The best she could do for him was guess. "It's weird to me. It's all weird. I mean... I've been alone for a while. For three years. And even before that, it's like you said, it's not like I was going around hugging people. My parents never liked me. My grandmother... I dunno, I assumed she loved me, but she was a crazy old woman. She'd hit me with a wooden spoon as a sign of affection, y'know. And after I left home, well... Shit happened. And I got into a lotta fights, but that's about as intimate as it got for me. So, sorry if the best way I know to show I care is a punch on the arm. I'm trying to learn, but... I dunno." She looked away from him again, embarrassed to be talking about herself so much. "It's kinda... Scary."
Shifu just blinked back at her, clearly surprised by what she'd said. "Scary?" he repeated incredulously. "And here I thought you were completely unflappable."
"Not completely. I mean, it's not that I got a phobia or anything," she clarified. "It's just... Disconcerting, I guess would be a better word. And awkward, for me. And, I know you're just trying to be close to me, but... I'm used to the idea of only doing one thing 'cause you want something else, y'know? So I keep thinking... 'What next? What does this mean?' And I get nervous." She was actually wringing her hands as she spoke, and winced inwardly at how vulnerable she must look. "I want you to know that I am trying. I just need to get used to... This kinda stuff."
"I understand." He reached out as if to attempt to comfort her with a hand on her shoulder or arm, then apparently thought better of it and dropped his hand back to his side.
"Thanks," she sighed, and then gave him a light punch on the arm. "And, y'know, about the whole past thing... I figure I gotta tellya eventually, but I don't like to talk about it. I guess it matters to know, at least a little bit, but it's easier for me to not hafta think about it."
He nodded slowly in response, then finally started prying like she had expected him to from the beginning. "Is it really that painful to talk about what has happened to you?"
"It's not that." She gave a non-committal shrug, hoping that she could appease him and end the conversation as quickly as possible. "I mean, nothing out of the ordinary ever really happened to me. It's just... I'm embarrassed to talk about myself. I've changed a lot in a short amount of time... I don't really like how I used to be."
"And how was that?" he blurted out. "Wait, I'm sorry-"
"Don't worry about it. I was stupid," she answered bluntly. "Weak, nervous, dependent. Mostly stupid, though." She let out a derisive snort as she thought back on how she'd been as a girl. She supposed there had still been much of her current self in her, but she'd always been repressed, overshadowed by fear and worry. "Whenever I think back on the shit I put up with, I wish I could travel back in time and give myself a swift kick in the ass. You ever feel like that?"
"Constantly," he admitted.
"Well there you go. Now drop it." She turned around to head back out in to the marketplace, but he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back. "Wh-" And then he kissed her on the cheek. "-at is wrong with you?"
"You are the one who told everyone in the marketplace that we are lovers," he replied, then walked out toward the main street, her hand still firmly in his grasp. "Now act like it."
"Fine," she huffed, even though she liked feeling wanted. "But you gotta carry everything."
"Alright." He must have been in an incredibly good mood from all those compliments she'd given him, because he leaned down and picked her up. Right in front of a crowd of strangers.
"What're you doing?" For once, she was the one embarrassed by him.
"I am acclimating you to physical contact," he replied calmly. "And you did say I had to carry everything."
"Well if you carry me everywhere I'm gonna get fatter 'an you," she pointed out; she felt like they were receiving a lot of annoyed glares. She had to admit, if she'd seen such a display of public affection in the marketplace, she would have been giving out an annoyed glare as well.
"I do not care." He lowered his voice for the next part; apparently he wanted privacy in the crowded public area in which he'd been attracting stares from every direction. "Whether you gain a thousand pounds or age into a grizzled old hag, I will not care. You will still be the one I want."
"Gross," she shot back immediately, though she was rather flattered. "You're annoying." She finally resorted to physical violence and gave his little braid a tug. "Now put me down."
He actually did set her down, but she had a feeling that it was less because she'd asked and more because he had finally noticed the dirty looks they were receiving. "Mutual annoyance seems to be the backbone of our relationship," he commented, and then smiled at her; he was definitely in a good mood.
"Yeesh, if I knew all I had to do to get you in such a good mood was compliment your ass, I'd do it more often." She nudged him with her elbow, unable to stop herself from grinning like an idiot.
"Don't nudge me there, I'm ticklish," he teased. "I might start to screech like a dying vulture."
"Get bent," she shot back, then shoved a bag of potatoes at him. "And pay for those while you're at it." She really should have been sickened by the warm, fuzzy feeling of the moment, but she was too much of a genuine idiot. Sometimes she really did think that all her good sense had flown out the window, and most of those times somehow involved Shifu. She supposed it couldn't hurt to enjoy it while it lasted, before the tight knot of guilt inevitably began to form in her stomach. There was so much she still needed to tell him, but she was just too much of a coward to do so. It might help to start out small and work her way up, though. "By the way, you're starting to grow just a little bit of ear hair. Might wanna take care of that before it gets outta control." Well, that was at least one thing to cross off her gigantic list. Perhaps not the most important, but it was a start.
Lin was up to something.
Shifu knew that he had a paranoid streak, but he was absolutely certain that he wasn't just imagining things. True, he had suspected that she'd been up to something since the first moment he'd met her, but that was different. Now he knew she was up to something. He'd first noticed the morning after they'd fought in the marketplace. She'd made some of those delicious breakfast dumplings, and when he'd walked into the kitchen she'd smiled at him and said, "Well don't you look handsome today?" All he'd been able to do was stare at her, his mouth hanging open. Once the shock wore off, he'd simply dismissed her odd behavior, but then after breakfast, when he'd tried to follow Tai Lung out to the training hall, she'd grabbed him and fixed his collar for him. Then she had kissed him on the cheek and sent him on his way with a pat on the bottom.
That hadn't been the only incident. She'd been acting nice for days. Even more than nice, actually. She'd been absolutely lovely. She cooked all his favorite things, she straightened his clothes, she spoke to him like she actually liked him, and she kissed him without complaint. He was beginning to think that she'd gone insane.
Not that he didn't enjoy the attention and the lack of knock-down, drag-out fighting. Still, he couldn't help but suspect that she was trying to butter him up for something. But what? What could she possibly be up to? Maybe she didn't want him asking her anything else about her past or why she wasn't used to being touched. Or perhaps she had done something horrific that she was just waiting for him to find out about.
He sat in the kitchen, drumming his fingers on the table as he contemplated how to breach the subject with her. It seemed as if most of his time lately had been occupied with thoughts of how to talk to Lin, which definitely spoke volumes about their relationship. And at the moment he was simply waiting for her in order to confront her about her recent behavior, which would inevitably end in a fight- though that would actually be an improvement, since it would at least be normal. Normal for them, anyway.
"Oh, hi," Lin greeted pleasantly as she walked into the kitchen with an armful of freshly picked peaches from the sacred peach tree and dropped them into the fruit bowl. "I wasn't expecting you in here this time of day. Something wrong?" As she spoke she began to gather various ingredients from around the kitchen- onion, garlic, peppers, rice, and a number of dried spices he would not be able to name if his life depended on it.
He remained seated at the table and massaged one temple in the hopes he could stave off a headache while he watched her. "What are you doing?"
"I'm getting started on dinner," she replied simply as she grabbed some oil from the cabinet.
"No, that is not what I meant." He stood up from his seat, but he didn't approach her just yet. "What I mean is, what have you been doing for the past couple of days?"
"I dunno what you're trying to ask." She actually paused in her work to smile at him, and as gorgeous as her smile was, he couldn't help but feel frustration at the gesture.
"I am talking about that, that right there!" he huffed. "You are acting like you have been replaced by some sort of evil twin. Or good twin. Whichever! The point is, you are being nice, and I have no idea why."
"Huh." She furrowed her brow at him, then walked up to him and smoothed out his eyebrows with her thumb. "I guess I'm just trying not to be so mean."
"But why?" He was convinced that she had an ulterior motive, though he had to admit that the closer she got to him the less inclined he was to argue with her, and the more inclined he was to do something that didn't require any talking at all.
"I thought it'd be nice not to argue so much. What's so wrong with that?"
"It is simply not you," he replied.
"You saying I start fights all the time?" she snapped, then paused and took in a deep breath. "I mean, wouldn't you rather enjoy each other's company quietly?"
There had once been a time in his life when his answer to that question would have been yes. That was before he had met Lin, though. "No, not really."
"Oh." She seemed relieved, but she still argued her point, most likely due to her wide stubborn streak. "I just... I didn't wanna fight all the time. So I figured I'd try to be nice."
"This is new," he admitted; he wasn't sure if he should even believe the reason she'd given or not.
"I guess." She scratched behind her ear as she apparently thought over the conversation. "You sure you'd rather I dropped the housewife crap?"
"Absolutely." He hadn't realized that this whole encounter would be so easy, but he did have a track record of messing everything up right at the last possible moment, so he should probably still be on his guard. "And for the record, I would also like to decrease the frequency of our fights."
"Well, there's gotta be something we can do about that," she reasoned as she turned her eyes to the ceiling in thought.
"I have an idea." He risked snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her closer, and it paid off, for once.
She reached out and tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder, then leaned up and gave him a short, tight-lipped kiss. After she pulled away she let out a quiet sigh and turned her eyes to the floor, sliding her hand down to rest lightly on his chest. She seemed so shy and vulnerable in that moment that it was almost as if she were a completely different person. "You gonna kiss me back or what?" she asked, and he realized he'd been staring at her. Even that question, despite being her normal brash wording, had been spoken gently.
He had to admit, she was the first woman he'd ever been mesmerized by. "We really should not be doing this in the kitchen."
She just smiled and pressed her lips to his again.
When he realized that he could actually feel her smile it finally occurred to him that she was the love of his life. If he ever had to repeat a single moment over and over again for the rest of his life, this would be it. Well, actually, it just needed on more thing. "Promise you won't belch down my throat again."
"No guarantees," she replied, and gave him another short kiss.
He was still amazed at how readily she kissed him and let him hold her. It was a complete turn around from her previous attitude, though she didn't seem entirely comfortable just yet. "I still cannot believe this," he admitted to her. "Are you sure there is nothing wrong?" He wouldn't be surprised if there was.
She kissed him again, this time for much longer and with more abandon than he would have expected from her. When she pulled away, she finally answered him, a little breathlessly, "Nope, nothing. Trust me."
"Alright, then," he agreed. "I will."
Shifu was, for once in his life, deliriously happy. Lin was finally showing some signs of affection, and she had reverted back to her natural state (thank goodness, he had been rather frightened by her when she'd been acting happy and nice all the time). She still sometimes told him he was a "grosser" and pushed him away when he attempted physical intimacy, but overall she was much more open than she had been. He was starting to think that their relationship had gained a certain level of normalcy- well, for them, anyway. Things were finally starting to look up; he could get up in the morning and look forward to breakfast with his family, perhaps a kiss good morning from Lin.
At least, he might have gotten a good morning kiss from Lin if she hadn't been sprawled on her back on the kitchen floor, with breakfast nowhere in sight. "...What are you doing on the floor?"
"Shifu," she groaned, "I'm sick. Make me tea. With mint."
He stepped over her and started rummaging through the cabinets for ingredients. "What happens to be the problem, exactly?"
Of course, her answer was much more candid than he would have liked. "I can't stop pooping."
"You are on your own with that one," he grumbled, though he still put some water on to boil for her tea. "And if you cannot stop 'pooping,' as you so delicately put it, then why are you in the kitchen?"
Her response was blunt, but not unexpected. "My body ran outta stuff to poop out."
"Now that," he replied sarcastically, "is sexy."
"Try to control yourself," she shot back.
"So are you planning to get up off the floor anytime soon?" He set up the teapot with some dried mint and a bit of white tea for her, while she remained on the floor and groaned pathetically.
"The floor is so nice and cool, though." She stretched out on her side, then rolled onto her stomach.
"You are bizarre."
"Bizarre, yes," she agreed. "But that's hardly on my list of priorities when my stomach feels like it's turning inside out."
"Apparently." He had to admit it was pretty interesting to see how she handled the stomachache; he'd never seen her sick before, but he'd imagined something along these lines. "So I take it you didn't get to breakfast."
"Sorry, I guess somewhere between emptying my bowels and collapsing exhausted on the floor I forgot," she grumbled back. "Can't you take care of it yourself?"
"Alright." He normally would have argued with her, but she really did seem sick. "Would you like to get off the floor and out of my way?"
"No." She curled up in a little ball and let out a grunt of pain as she remained very conspicuously in his way. "And the water's boiling."
He rolled his eyes at her, then took the pot off the stove and started steeping the mint tea for her. "If you do not get up, then I will be forced to treat you like a baby and pick you up myself."
"Go for it," she shot back, then began to massage her stomach. "Just don't try to grope my ass."
"I'll do whatever I wish to your ass," he replied, then scooped her up from the floor. "As if I would go near it after what you have described to me, anyway."
She let out a snort of laughter. "I know you would, you gross perv." She gave his mustache a tug, which usually meant that she wanted a kiss.
Despite the candid details about her highly disgusting sickness, he happily obliged her. "Shall I put you down, or would you rather I carried you around as I make breakfast?" He kissed her again just because he could get away with it.
"You can put me down if you rub my belly."
"...What?" He blinked down at her, unsure of what exactly she was asking him to do.
"Y'know, 'cause it hurts." She reached up and stroked the edge of his ear, which shocked him a bit both in the fact that she had never done anything of the sort before and in that it felt so incredibly good.
"O-okay," he stuttered out, and tried not to let his ears twitch too much. "I expect a tip, though." He set her down in her usual seat at the kitchen table and actually began to rub her stomach in a circular motion.
"If I wasn't already sick, I'd be sickened by us- I have diarrhea and yet we're still flirting like assholes. And rub a little lower, I want you to massage my stomach, not my lungs."
"Your gratitude is astounding," he grumbled, but he still did as she said and moved his hand lower, though he felt a little awkward about it. "And you should also be grateful for our relationship. Not many people have the kind of bond that we do."
She grinned up at him, then pinched his arm. "Right, I'll keep that in mind next time you try to put your grundle on me."
"I do not put my grundle on you." He wondered how long she wanted him to keep rubbing her, not that he minded. "So what would you like for breakfast?"
"A little bit of plain rice porridge to go with my tea and keep my strength up. You can make whatever you want for you and Tai Lung, since I won't be eating much. I'll see if I can muster the will power to get lunch done, but I won't make any promises. By the way, you can stop molesting me now."
"You are a beast," he huffed as he yanked his hand away.
"You're just mad you didn't get to touch my cooch," she replied, then gave him a little push toward the stove. "Now get to work."
"Some day I will be the one who is sick and can torture you." He poured her tea and gave it to her before he got to work on some rice porridge. "And I will take full advantage."
"I'm gonna need the pot with me, too. Diarrhea dehydrates you, since your body doesn't really break down the food waste and expels your fluids, too. Stuff like that."
Sometimes he thought that causing him pain was just a sport to her. Maybe she had some sort of point system worked out in her mind, and she was constantly trying to beat her own high score. "That sounds like precisely what happens to me whenever you walk in the room," he replied as he set the teapot down in front of her.
"Good, that's the reaction I'm going for. And get me a blanket."
While he wasn't exactly fond of the way she felt she was justified in bossing him around just because she was sick, he was enjoying how comfortable they were. He knew she would threaten to kill him in his sleep if she had even the slightest inkling that he was thinking of having a long, committed relationship with her, but he felt a little bit like a married couple with her. In a good way, of course. Normally, he would feel as though he was jinxing himself with just that fleeting thought, but for once he actually had a good feeling about something in his life. As crazy as it was, there was just something in him, telling him that things were going to work out with Lin. He loved her and he was going to grow old with her, and that was that. He had never been more sure of any relationship he'd ever had in his life.
"Hey!" she called after him as he headed out into the hall in search of a blanket. "Grab me a bucket, too, just in case!"
He probably should have put a little more thought into his commitment, though.
Lin wondered if it was some form of karma that, once one area of her life seemed to be going smoothly, something bad happened in another area. She had been unbearably sick to her stomach all day, and she had no idea what the source of the pain could be. She knew that sometimes people just plain got sick, but she didn't like being in pain and not knowing exactly what had caused it. That was part of the reason she was currently on the prowl for Oogway- the old turtle was annoying like that, since she regularly needed to search the entire grounds twice over in order to find him. Still, he'd been around the block a few times and might have some insight into what had upset her stomach.
The other reason she needed to talk to him was that she had finally finished up with that favor- which she had actually been done with several days ago, but she'd been avoiding actually telling Oogway about it. That job had been the very last task tying her to the Valley of Peace, and now that it was done she no longer had any excuse to linger there. In a desperate attempt to avoid the inevitable she had avoided Oogway like the plague, for fear of being tricked or persuaded into telling him the news. She had also found herself, out of a combination of guilt and a desire to squeeze as much benevolence out of her last days on the mountain as possible, acting like a happy little housewife toward Shifu. Luckily, he'd been too freaked out by her behavior to enjoy it.
"Yo, old man!" She finally found Oogway out on the terrace on the side of the Hall of Heroes- the one near the moon pool that she often eyed curiously but had never actually approached before. In fact, she sometimes forgot it even existed. "I gotta talk to you." She finally had her chance to spend some time out there, and she was glad that she had found Oogway on the balcony. It was much more open than most of the other places on the mountain- there were no trees or other buildings, or even outcroppings to block the view of the valley below. It was as if she were just standing in mid-air, looking out on the village and the vast farmlands beyond, as far as the eye could see until the scenery faded into the mist. "Hey, it's pretty nice out here."
"You could say that," he agreed, then raised an eyebrow at her in a critical fashion that was not typical of him. "You do not look well," he commented.
"It's that obvious, huh?" She rubbed at her stomach as it seized up in a cramp, though it was hardly the worst of what she'd experienced so far. "My stomach's acting up."
"I see," he replied, and he sounded like he knew exactly what was wrong with her, which was creepy.
"Yeah. Anyway... About the... Y'know." She figured she would just change the subject to avoid any further awkwardness. "I'm done," she huffed.
"Oh? Well, that is good news, indeed." He didn't sound as pleased as she would have expected, though. "You work quite quickly."
"Um... Yeah." Actually, she had gone as slowly and deliberately as she could possibly bring herself to do so. And then once she had finished, she had hesitated just in case there was anything at all she thought to add or to fix. After several days of simply waiting and staring at the product of her labor, she had been forced to declare that it was officially as good as it was going to get. "I dunno when you wanna take a look at it, or... Whatever."
"I will see it soon enough," he replied. "So, now that you have completed my request... You are ready to leave the Valley?"
"...Yeah." A couple of months ago, her answer to that question would have been overwhelmingly enthusiastic. Now she just sounded pathetically depressed. "I'm thinking I'll probably spend a couple of years in India. I passed through the north some years ago, and I always wanted to go back. See more of the country, y'know. Eat curry." She shrugged, then grimaced as another cramp took her by surprise. "Well, I'll go if my stomach ever gets better."
"Hm. I take it I am still the only one you have mentioned your plans to." There was definitely a certain tone to his voice with that statement- not necessarily disapproving, but more like... Disappointed.
"I dunno if I can," she admitted; she felt like the biggest ass in the world, too. "I just... I tried. I really did. And I couldn't. I can't tell either of 'em. How do I say something like this, anyway? 'By the way, seeya'? I've never really had to do anything like this."
"It would not be any easier with experience," he assured her.
"It would sure as hell be easier without this stomach virus, or whatever it is," she grumbled back.
Oogway surprised her by actually telling her something directly, without any metaphors or sidestepping whatsoever. "It is not a virus," he informed her. "It was obvious to me from the moment I saw you that you have quite the sizable disruption in the flow of your chi."
"...Huh?" She knew what chi was, of course, and was familiar with the Chinese idea of the way energy flowed through the body- she even believed it herself to an extent (she still didn't think people could break apart boulders and stuff with it, and she was not entirely sold on the idea that it was making her sick). However, she wasn't quite sure what Oogway was getting at.
"Well, the stomach is the center of the body," he pointed out reasonably. "It is where your chi gathers. Perhaps you are sick due to some... Imbalance."
"Like what?" she scoffed; she somehow doubted that her stomach problems were caused by anything more than a simple gastrointestinal infection.
"Oh, say... Like guilt." He gave her a look that she was sure was supposed to be significant.
"Y'know, you really get on my nerves, lately," she grumbled, crossing her arms. Of course she was feeling guilty, and it was because she was a coward. She couldn't work up the balls to tell Shifu that she was leaving, and that wasn't the only reason she hadn't said anything yet. She also didn't want to leave, at least some part of her didn't. She supposed that she felt like... If she didn't say anything, then she wouldn't have to think about it. Yet she was thinking about it- practically all the time. "But you're right," she finally conceded, rubbing at her eyes as she worried about what she was going to do next.
"Does that mean you are going to tell them?" He pulled a peach out of the folds of his sash and bit into it, which was kind of funny to watch. "Or are you just going to cop out and leave a note?"
"I won't leave a note," she grumbled, disgruntled that he'd even suggest she'd do something like that. "I'll tell 'em. I... I'm not sure how, though. Tai Lung thinks I'm gonna marry Shifu and be his mommy or something... And Shifu... I don't even know what that man's got going through his mind, most of the time."
Oogway let out a short snort of laughter. "Tell me about it. He is a grade 'A' weirdo."
Despite her current distress, she burst out laughing at that comment. "You're right about that. Y'know he makes me collect rain water to cook with, when we have a well right on the grounds? I just sneak in the well water, anyway."
"Do not ever tell him that," the old turtle warned, and the advice seemed to be sincere. "He will 'freak out,' for lack of a better term."
"What else is new?" She gave her stomach another gentle massage, even though it wasn't in the middle of a painful cramp; all of the spasms were exhausting the muscles in her abdomen, and the constant massaging helped. "So I'm guessing that according to your theory, this pain ain't going away until I blab, huh?"
"Not in the least," he confirmed. "Think of it this way: I would really like to keep this peach to myself. Sharing it seems like it would be a huge inconvenience to me- I would miss out on half of my delicious snack, and I might still be hungry after I finish. Yet I also know that if I share it with someone I care about, I will feel much better than I would have felt had I kept it to myself." He even held out the peach and offered her a bite.
"Nice sentiment, but I'm hardly in any condition to eat. Either way, I get the picture."
"Good." He took another bite from his peach. "Also good that I get to keep this whole peach, anyway."
"Kinda ruining the whole point of your speech, there." She supposed that even if her distress over keeping her plans to herself wasn't the cause of her stomachache, the sooner she spilled the beans the better. "But you're right. I need to quit being such a pussy."
"Precisely," he agreed. "So, do you need help getting back to the kitchen?"
She hadn't expected their conversation to last much longer. "Nah, I can handle it. I practically ran circles around this damn mountain looking for you, after all."
"If you are sure." He gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder and a smile before he sent her on her way, presumably in the hopes that she would tell Shifu and Tai Lung about her plans to leave the country at dinner.
It would actually be simpler to tell them both together, so as she headed back to the kitchen to get started on dinner, she tried to think of the best way to bring up the subject. She knew that no matter how much consideration she gave it, she would still end up insensitively blurting the news out, but she still liked to at least attempt to plan what she would say. Unfortunately, she was drawing all blanks. She just prayed that she didn't run into either of them on her way back to the barracks, since she doubted she would be able to keep the secret for very much longer; not after the talk she'd just had with Oogway, and especially not with the sea of guilt she found herself currently swimming in.
Of course, fate seemed to have a knack for pushing her down the more difficult road of life, so she walked into the kitchen to find Shifu waiting for her. "What're you doing here?" she asked the moment she saw him, horrified by the idea of going through with her confession with so little preparation.
"I thought you might want an extra set of hands around," he replied simply, then pushed a cup of mint tea into her hands. "I know your stomach is still bothering you."
"Thanks." She took a tentative sip of the tea; it was actually very good. "Y'know, I really wasn't expecting to see you here," she admitted.
"I don't see why not." He went about setting out her knife and her cutting board for her, which she would have found quite sweet if her stomach hadn't been twisting itself into knots. "I am a very reliable person, and I knew you were feeling sick. I wouldn't just leave you on your own."
"Right." She swallowed a lump in her throat at his wording- it really could not have been any worse. And the more she worried, the worse her stomach cramps became, and the more she realized that Oogway had most likely been right about the source of her sickness. "Y'know, when I was a kid I used to worry myself sick all the time." Considering that part of her past, she probably should have believed the old man's diagnosis more readily.
Shifu blinked back at her, apparently surprised by the sudden anecdote. "You did?"
"Yeah." She snorted as she thought back on how high-strung she'd been. "About stupid stuff. Like whether I'd be able to get dinner done on time, or if it was good enough to please my family. Sometimes I'd sit up all night just worrying about what might happen the next day."
He poured a cup of the mint tea for himself and took a sip. "What made you change?"
"Oh, a lotta things," she answered as she watched him drink. "I guess you could say I really started to change when I got engaged." She was ever so slightly cheered up by the hilarious spit-take that followed that information.
"You what?" Shifu managed to cough out, then gave himself a few firm punches in the chest to help clear out his windpipe. "I- I must have heard you incorrectly."
"About being engaged?" She figured if she was going to tell him she was leaving, she might as well warm up with something. She was going to have to tell him everything sooner or later, anyway.
"...Ah. I suppose I did hear correctly, then." He let out another awkward cough.
"It happens," she dismissed. "Anyway, as I was saying- it made me realize a lotta things. Mainly that there was no point in worrying about the shit I needed to do in life, 'cause one way or another I'd still hafta go through with it."
He just stared at her after that. He eventually snapped out of it, but only to say, "...I'm sorry. You were engaged? As in, to be married?"
"You want an autobiography?" she grumbled. "Yeah, I was engaged. The end."
"Right. Sorry." It was obvious that he still wanted to drill her about it, but thankfully he held back.
"What I really wanted to talk about has more to do with you and me, anyway," she added, watching him carefully for a reaction, in the hopes that maybe he had some hunch about her plans; that would at least make it easier to break the news to him.
Unfortunately, he seemed pretty clueless. "Oh? What about you and me? Or, um, me and you?" He was absolutely, awkwardly, hopelessly clueless.
"There's something I gotta tellya." She didn't want to. She really, really did not want to. "I been trying to tellya, actually. For a while now. It's just... I'm not..." She trailed off, completely lost for words. No matter how many times she could have imagined the moment in her head, she still wouldn't be able to find the right way to say it. "I really like you," she sighed.
"Well I should hope so," Shifu replied, still clearly oblivious. Not that that was anything new.
"You're a good person," she added, and not because she wanted to butter him up before delivering the bad news. She just... Didn't want him to think that her leaving had anything to do with him. She wanted him to know that if she could, she'd drag him along with her. "And you got a good sense of humor, even if you do got a stick up your ass. And when you love something, you love it with everything you have. You never do anything half-assed, even when it's something you hate to do, that's why I like you."
"I- uhm- well-" he stuttered out, turning red at all the completely out of character compliments. "Th-thank you. That is all... Very nice of you to say."
"And I just want you to know," she went on, swallowing the lump that had grown in her throat and pushing past her hesitancy to do what needed to be done, "that I wish we coulda had a little more time. Y'know, together."
He stared back at her, his eyes wide, a concerned frown on his face. "...What?" he finally asked.
"I gotta go," she sighed. "Not to the bathroom, I mean. I gotta leave." She couldn't stand the way he was staring at her, as if she had just stabbed him in the gut. "I wasn't even supposed to stay this long," she rushed out, partly because she wanted to explain herself and partly because she didn't want to have to stand there in silence. "But then I started to... And then you kissed me, and I... Well, you know." She really wished that he would just say something, even if he did get angry at her. "I'm sorry," she finished lamely.
He finally answered her, though he didn't get angry and start a fight with her as she'd expected. "What about Tai Lung? Have you told him yet?" That was it. His first reaction had been concern for his son, and if it were even possible she'd love him more for it.
"Not yet," she muttered, and she couldn't help but feel ashamed. She should have told the kid first, before she'd told anyone. "I'm sorry," she repeated, because she didn't know what else to say.
"I see," was all he said, and it was even worse than him blowing up at her.
They lapsed into awkward silence while she tried to think of something, anything, to tell him. There were plenty of things she wanted to tell him, actually, but she was too much of a coward to say most of them.
Shifu apparently didn't want to discuss it any further, though. "Well, I am sure you'll be needing some time to pack," he suddenly broke the silence. "I'll leave you to it." With that, he turned around and walked away.
"I guess I deserved that," she grumbled to herself; she felt like such a jackass. She should have said something sooner, she should have been more straightforward with him. Instead she'd been an idiot and a coward, and now she was paying for it. She had no one to blame but herself.
She was not looking forward to breaking the news to Tai Lung at dinner (which she supposed would be for two, now). Well, she was already on a roll, so there was really no point in putting it off. She decided to search through the cabinets for some encouragement, and found it in liquid form. Nothing steeled the nerves quite like a good shot of strong liquor. "Here goes nothing," she grumbled as she took a swig from the bottle. Then, just for luck, she took another.
A/N: Once again, massive apologies for my unreliable ass. Anyway, props to the movie for the "Don't mention it. Ever." line. I gotta say, Crane has some really good one-liners in there. As usual, I don't have much else to say here, except to tell you about the next chapter.
So! Coming up next: Lin is up shit creek without a paddle. Will she be able to patch things up with Shifu? Will he even give her the time of day? And where the hell is Tai Lung? All these questions (probably less) answered in our next riveting installment.