A/N: Let's get this party started!
Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda belongs to Dreamworks.
Chapter 33: There is No Sincerer Love Than the Love of Food
Shifu stared, shocked, as he finally took in the contents of Lin's bedroom. To say that what he saw before him had been unexpected would be an understatement. The only original surface of the room that was visible was a path on the floor leading from the door to the bed in the far right corner. The rest of the floor and walls were littered and plastered with various papers and scrolls. Some displayed the bold calligraphy he had first witnessed on the signs Lin had written for her vegetable garden, while others were drawings and paintings. An unfathomable amount of drawings and paintings, to be exact. And the subject of most of them appeared to be himself, Tai Lung, and Oogway.
He was dumbstruck by what he'd suddenly been surrounded with. Directly in front of him, hanging on the opposite wall, was an elegant scroll painting of Oogway practicing his morning tai chi underneath the peach tree. Absolutely covering the wall beside it were loose, almost abstract ink drawings of Tai Lung; after a moment of staring at them, he realized that the drawings were actually depicting him practicing his forms. Then there were the various drawings and small paintings of Shifu himself; he was particularly struck by a series of ink drawings that showed his usual progression from somewhat irritated to irrationally angry that usually occurred when he interacted with Lin in any way. Then, of course, there were mounds of both ink and watercolor paintings of the grounds of the Jade Palace and the village down below.
"Um," Lin interrupted his musing, sounding rather embarrassed. "I... Yeah."
"You did all of this?" he asked incredulously, turning to her.
A bright blush appeared beneath her fur, which, considering how much of it there was, was quite a feat. "I'm an artist." She then followed the statement with a shrug. "And, y'know, you guys've pretty much been the only models I've had, so don't get freaked out at all the... Y'know."
He could only stare at her for a couple of long moments. "Wait- how does that explain everything?" He was a little stumped in that area. While it did explain her ability to read and write, he wasn't sure how the other things she'd mentioned factored in.
"I'm glad you asked." She straightened up a bit, taking on a somewhat haughty air. "Artists are not only expected to be knowledgeable in their own specific areas of expertise, but also in the other scholarly pursuits, such as, but not limited to: theology, philosophy, anatomy, medicine, literature, poetry, and current events." She paused to blow on her nails and rub them smugly on the front of her shirt. "Next, I am right-handed, and seeing as how an artist's hands are his livelihood, it's understandable that I'd be a bit over-protective. Lastly, there's the issue of the small amount of strength I happen to possess- among other things, I am a printmaker." She raised her eyebrows at him, apparently waiting for a response.
He tried not to betray the fact that he had no idea how printmaking factored into her ability to take on a full-grown crocodile, but failed.
"As a printmaker I frequently engrave large, hard, heavy blocks of wood and pieces of copper, and I've handled a printing press." she clarified. "And, if I'm lucky, I sometimes have access to smooth blocks of limestone, which vary in size and weight- the heaviest I've handled was about hundred and fifty pounds."
"Ah," he replied, completely out of his element.
"Granted, I did struggle quite a lot with that huge block. And I kinda had some help. A little."
"Do you... Carve limestone?" he asked, for lack of a better response.
"Oh, hell no. That'd be insane! And far too difficult. Y'see, a lotta times I've had to use stones for pressure on large printing blocks in place of a printing press, seeing as how rubbing techniques aren't as efficient or effective with larger surfaces. However, there's been this new practice spreading out west- in Europe- of drawing an image in oil-based medium on the stone, and then you spread this mixture of gum arabic and nitric acid on top, which creates, y'know, a hydrophilic layer on the non-image surface that doesn't accept the printing ink, and then you use turpentine to remove any excess grease from your drawing tool. Anyway, you gotta keep the stone wet when you're printing, and you roll your oil-based printing ink over the stone- naturally, water and oil repel each other- and then put some paper on top, and if you have a press you run it through the press of course, but if you don't you gotta use a stone of equal size and weight. That transfers the ink from the stone to the paper. So then you repeat that process for each color you want in the image and then you're done, simple as pie!"
Shifu just stared blankly back at her. He had absolutely no idea what she'd just said to him.
"I could explain wood engraving versus copper, if you want," she added. "And then there's etching-"
"No thank you!" he replied quickly. "That's... Quite enough." He once again swept his gaze over the artwork filling the room. "Are any of these...?"
"Nope, no prints." She sounded a little disappointed when she said so. "It's easier to keep painting and drawing under wraps... And besides, I think I was due for a break from printmaking, at least for a little while. I mean, you generally print a drawing or a painting to begin with, so there might be something in here I can use. Anyway, printmaking's not all I been trained in. Chen taught me all about Zen ink painting, and I think that's pretty fun."
"Wait- Chen?" Shifu thought he might faint if she revealed any more startling secrets. "As in the Master Chen, the Master Chen whose painting of Master Flying Rhino is hanging in the Hall of Heroes, the old friend of Master Oogway, the Master of Kung Fu and Zen scholar- that Master Chen?"
"Yep," she replied simply.
"I need to sit down."
In response, Lin just pointed to the crumpled pile of sheets and pillows in the corner of the room that made up her bed.
He made his way along the narrow pathway between reams of paper and sat heavily onto one of the larger pillows, slouching forward as he absorbed all of the information he'd just been given (excluding the incomprehensible explanation of printmaking techniques). The most mind-boggling part of it all was that he knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg, so to say. "This is absolutely not what I was expecting," he admitted. "Not even close."
"I know." Her tone of voice was much gentler than he'd have ever thought possible. "This is why I stay up all night, every night. It's what I love. What I live for, more like." She dropped down next to him on the bed, rearranging the pillows around her until she was practically ensconced. "Every moment, day or night, that I spend not making art is a waste. You feel that way about kung fu, right?"
He blinked back at her. "Well, not every moment..." He assumed she was exaggerating.
But maybe not. She looked momentarily guilty, then grunted and leaned back against the drawings she'd affixed to the wall.
"You're wrinkling them," he pointed out.
"I know," she replied. "The first thing an artist learns to do is to never see anything as precious."
The phrase struck him as very telling, and it gave him a rather sour taste in his mouth. What, exactly, did she mean by 'anything'? Had she been implying that she saw everything in her life as disposable, even people? Even him? "And you follow that guideline often?"
"Yeah," she huffed, looking away from him. "I try, at least." She rested her hands on her knees, tapping her fingers. "Look, don't even think about trying to say something sappy, 'cause it's not gonna get to me."
"Oh, I wasn't going to." He couldn't keep the stiffness out of his voice. "I was just wondering if you ever cared about any of us at all." He might have been overreacting, but he didn't know how else he was supposed to take her comment.
Lin turned to look at him again, her brow furrowed. Then, she sighed heavily and let her shoulders droop a bit. "I know that if I said 'no,' this'd be a whole lot easier for you. But I can't." Then, before he had a chance to react, she reached out and grabbed him by the collar, then pulled him into a kiss. It was a short one, but when she pushed him back again she told him her most shocking secret yet. "I... I love you."
His eyes grew wide at the admission, and if she hadn't still been holding him by the collar he would have fallen over. His mouth had suddenly become very dry, and while he would have liked more time to absorb the profound statement, the look in her eyes told him that she wasn't letting him go until he gave some kind of answer. "You're welcome," he blurted out unthinkingly, and then inwardly groaned. He'd only said something because she'd been waiting for a response; he hadn't given any consideration to what he was actually going to say to her. The result was a disaster.
She pushed him as far away as her arms would stretch, then let go of his robes. "Yeah, that sounds about right," she answered flatly, then stood up and brushed herself off.
He didn't want her to walk away from the moment with the impression that he'd given, and he jumped to his feet, ready to block the door if necessary. "Wait- I didn't mean-"
"It's okay," she interrupted, scratching behind her ear. "I didn't say that 'cause I wanted to hear it back. I said it 'cause I don't like to live with regrets. And if I left here without saying... That... I woulda regretted it." She shrugged, as if it were no big deal. "No hard feelings."
"But the thing is-"
"No," she once again interrupted. "Really. It's fine."
"You don't understand-"
"I said it's fine," she cut in, which made Shifu want to scream.
He kept trying, though. "Listen to me-"
But she just wouldn't let him finish, and to top it off she even sounded annoyed with him. "How many times do I gotta say it's fine?"
"I love you, too!" he snapped, throwing his arms up in frustration. "If you would just let me get a word in edgewise, I would have told you by now!"
Lin stared at him, blinking, then narrowed her eyes at him, apparently skeptical of his confession. "Really?" she prodded. "Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?"
"Really!" And he meant it, even though he wished that he could throttle her at the moment.
She continued to stare at him, this time an expression of complete puzzlement on her face. "You love me?"
"Yes!" He wasn't sure how much more he could take. "I love you!"
"...Oh." She still seemed floored by the idea that he returned her feelings, but then a slow smile spread across her face. "You're welcome."
"Now sit down," he grumbled, crossing his arms. He didn't see why everything needed to be so difficult with her.
Amazingly, she sat back down where she'd been on her bed without argument. "So..." she started, but didn't say anything else.
He cleared his throat, aware of the awkward tension in the air as he sat down next to her. He wasn't sure what to say next, himself, so instead he opted for wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her up against his side.
She didn't struggle or complain, and even leaned in to kiss him again. When she pulled away she was blushing prettily, and shyly turned her eyes to the floor; if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn't have believed it. "I'm not sure what's next," she sighed. "I mean, I'm still leaving..."
"What?" He blinked back at her, stunned. "You're still leaving, even though you have a home here, even though we just established that we are in love? You are still leaving?"
She just nodded.
"But why?" He'd thought that her love confession might have been a sign that she'd begun to change her mind, but apparently he'd been wrong. And he still didn't see why she felt such a need to leave the Valley of Peace, anyway; she was an artist, not a bandit or a murderer.
"I've been sentenced to death," she replied evenly. "By hanging or decapitation, one of those."
He had to admit that it was actually a pretty good reason. But it still left the question: why had she been sentenced to death? "I'm still not following you."
"I, uh... Well, it's for high treason. Against the Emperor and all." She looked rather sheepish, as if she were admitting to having eaten the last of their peaches rather than admitting to having committed high treason. "And a few other charges."
"Like what?" he asked, unable to keep the shock out of his voice. He wasn't surprised that she had broken the law; that much had been a given from the moment he'd first laid eyes on her. But high treason?
"Well, uh... Five more counts of treason... Three counts of conspiracy against the Emperor... Thirty-seven known violations of censorship laws... Fourteen counts of slander... Uh... Assault of an Imperial officer... Oh, and I'm pretty sure that time I broke outta jail is still on my record. There's, uh, some more stuff... But I can't really think of it right now."
He finally let go of her to slap his hand to his forehead. "There's more!"
"Yeah," she confirmed. "You're taking this really well. Thanks for that." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, and even smiled at him.
"Why are you smiling!" he snapped. "This is horrible news!"
"I know, but I'm still stuck on the whole 'you love me' thing. Besides, that execution order is old news to me. I was on my way outta the country already before I stopped in the Valley. I got robbed, y'see, by some of those crocodile bandits- small world, I know- and they took all my money, all my food, almost everything. So I figured I'd stop in the nearest village and save up. When I got to the Thread of Hope, I just thought it was a regular bridge- I mean, I'd hearda the Valley, but I'd always figured it was just a myth or something. Then the bridge kept going... And going... I thought I was gonna die on that damn bridge by the time I made it into the Valley. But I didn't, and here I am."
"I still don't understand," he replied, shaking his head. "How could you have such a criminal record? And you have been to jail?" He was flummoxed by these new revelations.
"Twice," she corrected. "Chen bailed me out the first time."
"Right," he muttered. "Of course. One of the most esteemed masters of kung fu Oogway has ever trained bailed you out of jail." He leaned back against the wall, but then quickly lurched forward again when he remembered that there were drawings there. "But... You are an artist. What did you do to break so many laws? Weren't you busy... I don't know, drawing fruit and such?"
She actually glared at him for asking that question. "Don't you realize how influential artists- printmakers in particular- can be on the general public?"
"I suppose not."
"Well, I spoke out a lot against the Empire, its unfair laws, the widening gap between the rich and the poor, the complete lack of labor laws, and, well, just about everything. And of course I used printmaking to do so. Prints have always had a huge effect on public opinion, since most people can't read or write. Everyone can look at a picture and get the general message, though. I organized rallies, protests, things like that, too. A lotta people knew me back in Shanghai-"
"I knew it!" he interrupted, unable to contain his excitement at having been right about at least one aspect of her past. "I knew you'd been to Shanghai!"
"I lived there for five years," she easily supplied. "First I lived with Chen- actually, before that I lived on the streets. Then Chen took me in, and I lived with him for a little over a year, then I became Wei-Shan's apprentice-"
"Master Wei-Shan?" he repeated incredulously. He was half-expecting her to drop Master Flying Rhino's name next, the way she was going. "As in, Master Chen's student?"
"Yeah," she confirmed, furrowing her brow at his utter shock. "What?"
"You- you lived with two kung fu Masters! Two prominent kung fu masters! Master Chen himself has faced down entire armies. He has wielded the Invisible Trident of Destiny, he has split mountains, Lin. In half. With his chi!" He momentarily gripped his head as he thought of not only how Lin had lived with such a legend with absolutely no idea of who he was, but also of how disrespectful she had probably been.
"He did not split a mountain in half," she scoffed, disbelieving.
"I saw him split that mountain in half! I watched him do it!" He had been quite young at the time, and had only just been declared a master himself. He hadn't even grown his whiskers yet. "And do not even get me started on when he defended the Great Wall from invading Huns."
"Okay, I won't."
"That was when he let me use the Sword of Heroes. I didn't even ask, he just gave it to me! I was only nineteen at the time, I barely even knew what to do with it. And then he-"
"Alright, can you please try to contain your huge boner for Chen for a second?" she huffed, apparently annoyed. "If I knew you were such a fan, I woulda kept my mouth shut. And I still don't believe you about the mountain. The man is old as dirt- and tiny."
"When it comes to kung fu, size does not matter," he informed her. He still remembered how stunned he'd been, though, upon first meeting Chen; the man was a jerboa, dwarfed even by Shifu. "I still cannot believe you actually lived with Master Chen in his house."
"Please don't geek out again." She warily leaned away from him, as if his enthusiasm might physically injure her. "So you know Chen and Wei-Shan, I take it?"
"Just Master Chen," he corrected. "I have never met Master Wei-Shan, though I have heard that he honed his eyesight so well that he is able to see a single hair on the back of a fly from across a crowded room."
"Not anymore, he ain't," she contradicted immediately. "He suffers from eye disease, probably something genetic. The guy's glasses are thicker 'an a bull's cock."
"Wow." Through some miracle, he managed not to conjure up a mental picture at her declaration. "Thank you for that."
"Well, I'm just saying." She shrugged as if unconcerned, but she was clearly amused by how bothered he'd been by her comparison.
"I still have a lot of questions for you, by the way."
"Well, go ahead, I guess." Lin reached underneath her backside and yanked out a piece of paper, took a look at it, then shrugged and tossed it aside. "I don't really got anything else to hide."
"For starters, how is it that you know nothing about kung fu?" That one had stumped him. If she came out and said she knew kung fu already, he might just have a heart attack. "Or do you?"
"No, I don't." She laughed at the suggestion. "I was apprenticed to Chen and Wei-Shan as an artist, why would they wanna teach me kung fu? Besides, their true passion was art. I mean, Oogway told me that even after Chen became a kung fu master, he wasn't happy. He wanted to learn to paint. So he did!" She was acting as if it were the most average thing in the world to have been under the tutelage of Master Chen. "And Wei-Shan was really low key. Kinda kept to himself a lot, y'know." Surprisingly, she blushed a little bit as she spoke. "He was very handsome, too. For a raccoon dog."
He tried hard not to feel jealous, but he failed. "But I bet he does not know the Wuxi finger hold," he grumbled.
"Well how would I know? I never slept with him." Lin, of course, had no idea what he was talking about.
"Right." He supposed he should just drop the subject. Besides, there was something else he was curious about. "I remember hearing of another student of Wei-Shan's. You recall our discussion of the riots in Shanghai- and Quan- don't you?"
"Ahah. That." She cleared her throat uncomfortably at the mention of the young man's name.
"You knew Quan, then." It had not been a question. Shifu also recalled Lin having mentioned Quan's apparent status as a ladies' man. "Was he the one you were engaged to?"
She stared back at him, blinking. "...You're still clueless, aren't you?"
He had no idea what she meant by that. "Is that a 'yes' or a 'no'?"
"No!" For some reason, she seemed amused again. "But you could say I knew him pretty intimately."
"Intimately? What do you mean by that? I thought I was your first kiss!" He knew she was enjoying torturing him, but he couldn't keep his jealousy under control.
Of course, she just laughed at Shifu. "Oh, you were. I have seen Quan naked, though."
"Will you stop it already?" he snapped. "Why must you constantly torture me? Were you or were you not involved with Quan?"
She laughed at him again. "You're ridiculous. I am Quan."
Shifu stared at her in shock. Then, of course, he blurted out something he instantly regretted saying. "You're a man?"
"No I'm not a man!" she snapped, hitting him in the arm. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"But how- what- you are really Quan?"
"That's right. And take it from a ladies' man, you really don't got game. Not even a little." Of course she would take whatever opportunity she could to make fun of him.
"How could you be a ladies' man? You are a woman."
"I was over-compensating."
He rolled his eyes at the joke. "I cannot believe this. Why would you ever pretend to be a man?"
"Well, for two reasons," she replied matter-of-factly. "Men get jobs outside of prostitution, and men generally don't get raped unless they're gay or in prison. Or both, I guess."
"I suppose that's a good point," he conceded.
"Men do get the shit beat outta them, though. Y'wanna know how many times I been shanked?" She actually seemed excited to tell him, as if it were some sort of accomplishment.
"Not particularly." There were more important things he wanted to know about. "What I really want you to tell me is... Well, everything. For instance, what happened to you that you were so afraid of... of..."
She seemed to get his point, though. "I used to be kinda... Scared of men, up until I was one. Well, not literally a man. But even then I was afraid of being found out. I used to think, 'All these men are my friends right now, but what would they do to me if they found out I was a woman?'"
Shifu reached out and placed a comforting hand on her back, since he had no idea what to say to her.
Luckily, she had no problem with continuing her story. "Well, there was Vino. He was the first man who ever treated me like I was worth more 'an a chunk of dirt, but I'd thought he was the exception."
"You mean the one who used to drunkenly threaten to kill you?"
"Oh, it was just a joke." She punched him in the arm for his interruption. "Then Chen took me in, when I was in Shanghai. He was the first good man I'd met since Vino, and he taught me that there're just as many good men out there as there're bad men." The way she talked about Chen made him sound, well- gentle and kind.
Yet Shifu knew from experience that Chen was about as kind and gentle as a porcupine with a bad rash. In fact, the knowledge that Lin had lived with the man explained a lot. "...You're still talking about the same Chen, right?"
"Of course I am." She frowned at him, apparently confused. "Why?"
"Nothing, it's just that... Chen was nice to you?" He had trouble believing that; even after the old master had given him the Sword of Heroes, Shifu would have needed an abacus the size of the Great Wall to count the number of times the man had threatened to kick his ass.
Lin let out a bark of laughter at the question. "Nice? Chen? Hell no! But I never said he was nice, I said he was good. There's a difference. I remember he had this little walking stick he used to whack me upside the head all the time- the thing was so small it felt like a bee sting. And he would wake me up at the crack of dawn by splashing ice cold water on me and telling me to get my lazy ass outta bed."
"That sounds about right." There was still so much she had yet to tell him, though. "But how did you end up on the streets of Shanghai in the first place? Why did you leave? What about-"
"Alright, alright," she interrupted, then stood up with a quiet groan. "That's enough for now. I'll tellya my whole autobiography, but not on an empty stomach. Besides, you should check to see if Tai Lung's gone over to the training hall yet, and I need to give this thing to Oogway." She nodded toward the scroll painting of Master Oogway in the midst of his morning tai chi.
"You painted that for Master Oogway?"
"Yeah, he asked me to. I'd say he commissioned it, but I refused to let him pay me. Seems like a stupid idea now that I could use the money, though." She raised her eyebrows at him, then reached down and gave him a light smack on the head. "Get up."
"There is no need to abuse me," he huffed, pushing himself to his feet. "I am on my way." He followed her to her bedroom door, a bit disappointed that he wouldn't be able to sate his curiosity all in one go. He wondered, as he opened the door, how she- "Ack!"
"Yargh!" Lin practically jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly enough to choke him.
Master Oogway blinked down at them, a vaguely puzzled expression on his face. "I apologize for the scare. Am I... Interrupting something?"
"Only my heartbeat," she grumbled, finally loosening her grip on Shifu's neck enough to allow him to catch his breath. "What're you doing, you creeper?"
As much as he wished Lin would speak to his master with more respect, Shifu had to agree with the sentiment. "I am sure you were looking for Lin, Master, so I will just leave you two be." He managed to pry her off of him, though with considerable effort.
Oogway held up a hand to stop him from leaving. "There is no need, old friend. I am glad to have found the two of you together."
"You are?" he asked, casting a sideways glance at Lin; she didn't appear to know what the old turtle was getting at either. "But... Why?"
"As you both know, I dedicate a certain amount of time to keeping in touch with old friends." It was clear from Oogway's tone of voice that whatever news he had for them was not good. "One or two of those old friends hold positions in the imperial court. And they have casually reported to me that a recent concern is the unexpectedly high number of criminals with execution orders on their heads who have yet to be arrested."
Lin, of course, immediately began acting like a lunatic. "I toldya they were after me!" she snapped at Shifu. "I'm outta here!" She was about to head back into her room, presumably to get her things, but Shifu reached out and grabbed her by the tail to stop her.
"It is good to know that you react calmly in a crisis," he grumbled, watching as she futilely attempted to escape his grasp.
"There is no need for anyone to panic," Oogway reassured them, though he had certainly waited long enough to do so. "While said issue has sparked some discussion recently, nothing has been done about it yet. And, knowing how much red tape there is involved in politics, nothing will be done for some time. I thought that it would be worth mentioning, regardless of the outcome."
"They'll never take me alive!" Lin continued to panic.
"Well that is the idea, isn't it?" Shifu shot back, rolling his eyes at her ridiculous reaction. Still, Master Oogway's news was disheartening, to say the least. If he'd had even the slightest chance of convincing her to stay in the valley, it was probably long gone now. "And I am sure that you will be fine. You have escaped execution before, haven't you? How did you escape Shanghai?"
"I dove into the ocean in the middle of a raging storm," she answered, which did not help at all. "I wasn't expecting to survive that, though. Remember the story I toldya about almost drowning?"
"Unfortunately." There were a lot of things about Lin that had surprised him, but somehow he was in no way shocked by the notion that she would dive into the ocean in the midst of a deadly storm rather than be arrested and executed.
"That reminds me!" She had calmed down from her moment of sheer panic, but of course Lin at her calmest was enough to give Shifu a heart attack. "Oogway, I got your thingy. And you-" she paused to slap Shifu in the stomach- "let go of me!"
"Yes'm," he grumbled, releasing her tail in favor of rubbing at his stomach; she had hit him rather hard, and while she wasn't the strongest woman in the world she certainly wasn't the weakest, either.
"Ah, young love," his master sighed at the display of violence. "Truly there is nothing more beautiful in this world."
"I am beginning to think you have hit your head one too many times," he replied.
"Here it is!" Lin emerged from the explosion of paper that was her room and shoved the rolled up scroll at Oogway. "Just promise me you won't ever show that to anyone who knows anything about art; I don't want people thinking I'm some pansy portrait painter."
"Yes, I am sure that you will be much prouder of your legacy as a perplexingly pinheaded pain-in-the-butt," Shifu interjected. "Not to mention a cantankerous carping crow."
"Blow it out your ass," she snapped.
Oogway cleared his throat to gain their attention, which Shifu was remiss to admit was focused mainly on insulting each other. "I suppose I should leave the two of you alone before I get caught in the crossfire."
"Sorry," they both muttered in unison, and Shifu felt (and not for the first time since he'd met Lin) like a child.
"No apologies needed," he dismissed congenially, and turned to go. "After all, your time together is limited. But next time, do try to keep the foreplay private." He then walked away, leaving them to stand in Lin's doorway in embarrassed silence.
Shifu decided he should say something to dissolve the tension his master's parting jab had caused, so he let out a weak, fake-sounding laugh. "Well, imagine that."
"No," she replied shortly. "And this ain't the time to talk about sex."
"I wasn't-"
"Go check on Tai Lung," she interrupted, then headed for the kitchen. "I'm gonna start some breakfast. Oh, and can you grab my grocery list from my room? Thanks." She, too, disappeared before he had time to respond.
He glanced back into the massive piles of paper in her room, weighing his options. He had a better chance of finding Tai Lung than that grocery list, and to be honest he didn't want Lin to go shopping without him. He was too afraid that she'd decide to leave the valley, despite her protests that she would never do so without first saying goodbye. While her reaction to Master Oogway's news had been comical, there had been a genuine paranoia to it as well.
He took a deep breath as he headed out onto the grounds; on the bright side, things couldn't get much worse. He'd already dealt with a drunken Lin, so he was certain that he would be able to handle an upset Tai Lung. And if he could not... At least Lin was making breakfast.
There was not enough sugar in the world to make Lin feel better, but she had still put considerable effort into consuming as much as possible. The breakfast she'd made had consisted of fruit, honey, oats, and of course cinnamon. And she'd scarfed down two portions as if her life had depended on it. Maybe it was about time for her to try to reign herself in; she knew that she was something of a stress eater, and if she didn't slow down she was going to end up passing out from all the sugar. Still, she'd baked a whole lot of almond cookies as of late and if someone didn't eat them, they'd get stale. As she pulled her cookie jar from the back of the spice cabinet, she contemplated the recent turn of events; mainly, her confession of love to Shifu.
She still couldn't believe that he'd said it back. She wasn't going to stay because of it, of course. The only thing different was that it was just that much more depressing to leave. And, of course, she hadn't expected him to love her. That was the last thing she'd ever expected. Even more unexpected than that was... She believed him. She trusted him, of course, but she also trusted that he knew himself well enough to understand his own feelings, something that had not come easily to her. She still didn't quite believe him when he said that she was attractive, but maybe he just thought so because he loved her.
Then she also had Tai Lung to think about. As much as she wanted to get the hell out of China before it was too late, she also didn't want to leave the valley before patching things up with him. She just couldn't stand the idea of leaving on such bad terms with the kid. Maybe she could bribe him with cookies... If she didn't stuff them all down her gaping maw first.
"How many cookies do you even eat in an average day?" Shifu had snuck up behind her, and she jumped a little as he reached over her shoulder and took a cookie from her jar. "Is this what you made for breakfast?"
"No," she grumbled, then gestured over her shoulder at the pot on the stove. "That's breakfast there. You like oats? Wait, don't answer that. I don't care."
"Yes you do," he accused. "And I do like oats. Quite a bit, actually." He grabbed himself a bowl while she nibbled on a cookie in an attempt to not finish off the entire jar.
"So where's Tai Lung?"
"I couldn't find him," he admitted sheepishly. "Nor could I find your grocery list."
"That's okay," she sighed, staring down at her empty bowl. "I wasn't gonna go shopping today, anyway. To be honest, I don't really wanna do anything at all today."
"Depressed?" He sat down next to her and sniffed at his oats, then took a tentative bite.
"Kinda," she admitted. "I spend most of my time thinking about... I dunno. About leaving. And then I start to think how hard it's gonna be to be on my own again. And how I'm gonna miss you guys. And-"
"Please stop using the word 'and,'" he interrupted. "I am glad that you have come to care for all of us enough to miss us, but that does not warrant your excessive use of conjunctions."
"What about 'I love you' didn't you understand?" She gave him a poke in the side, smiling when he batted her hand away.
"Must you always prod me like one of your horrific curries?" he huffed, but she could tell that he wasn't actually annoyed.
"As long as you continue to irritate me with your invasive questions, I will continue to treat you like my personal punching bag." She pinched his cheek for good measure.
"Speaking of invasive questions-" he paused to take a bite of his oats- "when are you leaving?"
She hadn't actually considered that. Well, she had figured that she would be leaving soon, but she had never pinpointed an exact time. "Uhm... Considering Oogway's news, I should try to leave as soon as possible." Even though she had been there for three months already, she found herself wishing that she had more time. "Tomorrow is too soon. I need some time to, y'know, prepare for a long journey." And some time to patch things up with Tai Lung. "So... Day after tomorrow?"
He stared back at her a moment, then set his spoon down. "...Are you asking me?"
"No, why would I ask you?" She realized that she had been a little short with him in her answer, but she doubted he would take it personally.
"I just... I suppose I had hoped that it was your way of asking me if I want you to stay. And if you ever wonder... The answer to that question will always be yes." He then grabbed a cookie and shoved it into his mouth, though she doubted it was because he still felt hungry.
She found herself blushing, despite her annoyance at his persistence in asking her to stay. "That's sweet of you to say," she admitted while she contemplated kissing him for it. She decided to hold off, though. "Look, let's not talk about that stuff right now. After spending a night in your bed, I feel like I'm gonna pass out and to be honest it's depressing enough just to think about. Having to talk about it so much makes me wanna just... Crawl into bed."
"I see- wait a minute. What did that crack about my bed mean?" He narrowed his eyes at her, back to his old uptight tricks.
"It meant that your bed is about as comfortable as a rock on a cold night," she replied, then got up to make some tea; while she was exhausted, she knew already that she had too much on her mind to settle in for a nap. "Not to mention your snoring. It didn't wake me up, but I'll bet I didn't have the most peaceful sleep in the world." She grabbed two cups, because she knew he would want some, despite how he might grouse.
"My bed is just fine," he huffed. "And I most certainly do not snore. And even if I were to snore, it would not be half as bad as your drooling. Sleeping with you is like having a leaky bucket next to me in bed. In fact, last night I rolled over into a puddle of your spit, and that did wake me up."
She snorted at the story; she wouldn't doubt it, especially considering how drunk she'd gotten right before bed, as well. She always drooled more when she was drunk.
"It is not funny. It got in my eye."
She did laugh at that, leaning against the counter as she had a good chuckle as his expense; she felt like it had been way too long since the last time she had done that.
"Fine, laugh." He watched her, his arms crossed, before imparting more tidbits to her about the previous night. "You also said, 'Hibbity hibbity hibbity, dirt,' in your sleep. Then you put your hand down your pants, and punched me in the groin when I tried to pry it back out so that you would awake with at least a smidgen of dignity. I wasn't going to tell you all of those embarrassing things, but you have forced my hand."
She just laughed even harder. "I nailed you in the nads again? What're the chances?"
"With you, they are very high."
"Oh well," she dismissed with one last snort. "One can't be held accountable for the things one does in one's sleep." She poured her hot water into a teapot to steep- she'd chosen oolong, partly because it was a nice, strong tea and partly because she knew Shifu liked it.
"I should hope not," he shot back. "I think I might start to look at you differently if I knew you voluntarily drooled all over the place while cupping your crotch."
"If I did do such a thing voluntarily it would only be because I'd been overcome with desire for you, you veritable powerhouse of masculinity," she teased, then poured a cup of tea for each of them and joined him back at the kitchen table.
"It is funny because it is true." He sipped at his tea, then raised his eyebrows at her, surprised. "Just oolong this morning? No culinary flair to brighten my day?"
"Hibbity hibbity hibbity, dirt," she replied, then took a gulp of her own tea.
"Oh, hibbity to you, too," he grumbled.
She grinned at his comeback, then tugged at his mustache, which was her way of asking him to kiss her without actually having to ask him to kiss her. True, she could have just kissed him herself, but to be perfectly honest it wasn't as fun. There was just something about having him initiate things and take control of the situation that she liked. Not that she would want him to act that way all of the time (which he did, actually, but he usually calmed down once she yelled at him enough). It was different with intimate things, though. It wasn't that she didn't want to have to think or put in any effort (she put in quite a bit of effort to her kissing, actually)- she just found that it was... Well, a bit of a turn-on. She remembered reading somewhere that people with dominant personalities often acted out submissive fantasies in their romantic lives, so she supposed she was one of those. Still, it wasn't as if she couldn't get her jollies from being in charge, too.
Shifu suddenly pulled away from the kiss and narrowed his eyes at her. "You are contemplating something," he pointed out.
"...What?"
"Whenever you are feeling pensive, you stop kissing me back. And you open your eyes and stare at me. It's very rude- not to mention creepy." He winced a little bit as he apparently pictured the scene in his head.
"Sorry." She wasn't about to tell him about how much she liked his assertiveness; his head would grow bigger than a pumpkin, and she'd never be able to deflate it. "I was just imagining you naked." Technically, that was true, too.
He immediately turned bright red at the declaration. "Y-you were?"
"Yeah," she confirmed. "It was hilarious."
"I don't know why I even listen to you in the first place." His blush disappeared and he scowled at her, clearly disappointed by the setup.
"Oh, calm down." She did wonder, though, whether he had yet to give the topic of sex any serious thought, especially after her decision to leave in a mere two days. She knew very well that it was a tradition in most romantic fiction for a couple to make love under the moonlight or something equally as saccharine the night before an impending separation, and while most of the time she could only guess what he was thinking, she was certain it would have crossed his mind. If such a thing had crossed her mind, then it definitely would have crossed his. "It occurs to me that we have never done something that I believe is imperative to all relationships." She may as well just come out and tell him what had been at the back of her mind since she'd woken up in bed with him that morning. After all, their situation really couldn't get much worse.
"And what is that?" He didn't sound like he was taking her seriously, which she understood; a line like that would be a good setup for a joke.
"We've never had a sincere discussion about sex." She waited for him to respond, but he just blinked back at her, apparently shocked.
"...Why would we do that?" he finally asked.
"Because it's healthy!" she snapped. "It's a big step and it deserves to be talked about!"
"Sex is not something you talk about," he argued, which she had to admit she should have seen coming. "Sex is something you do."
"Oh, like you're so much more of an expert 'an I am?" she shot back, determined to win the argument. "When's the last time you made anyone other 'an yourself orgasm?"
"That is none of your business! And as I said, sex is not something that should be openly discussed." He could be such a stubborn old man, sometimes.
"You're just embarrassed," she accused. "You're too much of an uptight prude to even think about sex without blushing. Even Oogway thinks so!"
"If you were trying to both humiliate and disgust me, you have succeeded," he grumbled, then took refuge in his tea. "I don't discuss it with you every time I kiss you, so why should I talk to you about sex?"
She could see that logic was not going to get to him, so she switched tactics. "'Cause it's important to me."
"Do not even think about making me feel bad." He glared at her, though she could tell from his agitation that her more emotional approach was already having an effect.
"Well, it's true," she replied, then cradled her own tea against her chest and slumped a little in her seat; she'd learned that he responded well to body language that conveyed vulnerability. "I know that compared to you I'm charmingly spontaneous-" she caught him rolling his eyes at that, but continued- "but this is different. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I just want to get this one thing off my chest. You wouldn't even have to talk back, you'd only have to listen. I guess that's asking too much, though." She waited for him to cave, and was rewarded by a gentle hand on her arm, which she immediately shook off.
Then, finally, he sighed. "Very well. I know I am going to regret this, but... What did you want to tell me?" He took a long gulp from his tea, probably in an attempt to hide his face in case he blushed. He should have known better by then, though.
She dove right in, before she missed her chance. "Well to start off, I been thinking a lot about sex lately."
Shifu began coughing loudly on his tea, which she had been hoping for.
"Actually, to be honest, I been thinking a lot about sex since puberty slammed into me at the tender age of eleven, but that ain't the point."
He was starting to turn bright red again, too.
"The point is, I been thinking about it. Specifically, I been thinking about you and me doing it."
He nearly fell out of his chair at that one, and she was pretty sure that he stopped breathing.
"You okay?" She supposed she should stop just to make sure she hadn't killed him.
"Yes," he managed to wheeze out. "Please, go on."
"Anyway," she continued, watching him carefully for another completely ridiculous reaction, "I know you probably been thinking it, too. Obviously, though, you haven't brought it up because you're too uptight to talk about it. And let's face it, there ain't a lotta women my age who're still virgins, and most of 'em are either nuns or married to gay men. Extremely gay men."
He actually calmed down enough to speak regularly for a moment, and he said something remarkably sweet, to boot. "Well, I would never want to make you feel pressured to do something you are not ready for."
"See, it's shit like that that makes me wanna screw you," she pointed out. "Who even says that kinda stuff?"
"...So you are attracted to me because you find me ridiculous?" he asked slowly.
"Yeah, I thought you knew that already." She gave him a punch on the arm, but somehow she sensed that he was not even a little bit pleased. "Okay, what's the problem?"
"Oh, nothing," he huffed like a jilted housewife. "I am just being my usual ridiculous self."
"Calm down," she replied, and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. "I like you 'cause you make me laugh. And just 'cause you make me laugh doesn't mean there ain't other stuff I like about you. For one, you're just about the most honest person I ever met. But you're making me digress- I ain't trying to talk about your good points, I'm trying to talk about sex."
"Thank you for that," he grumbled sarcastically, slumping down in his seat a bit. Still, he seemed intrigued. "...So what about sex did you want to discuss?"
"You're probably not gonna like this," she sighed, and she really hoped he didn't start a fight with her. "Like I said, I been thinking about it a lot, and... And I came to the conclusion that..." She didn't even want to say it out loud, but she had to. "I don't think we should have sex."
"Oh," he said, blinking back at her.
"It's not that I don't wanna," she reassured him- she didn't want him getting all butt-hurt because he thought she meant she wasn't attracted to him or anything. "I mean, I like the kissing and... And everything. And sometimes I maybe kinda... Aww, never mind."
"No, go on," he prompted, his mouth turning up into a small smile. "What do you maybe kind of?"
"I don't wanna inflate your already swollen head," she grumbled, crossing her arms; what she had been about to say was just too embarrassing, and she couldn't bring herself to actually say it aloud- that sometimes she just wanted to rip his clothes off and jump him. Well, not just sometimes. The feeling occurred quite a bit, actually. Still, she couldn't bring herself to say so out loud, let alone go through with it.
"You were going to tell me how handsome and virile you think I am, weren't you?" he teased and reached out to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer.
"Ew, barf," she replied, wrinkling her nose. She did note that he hadn't given her a reply about not having sex, though, and she wasn't going to just let him off the hook with a little flirting. "So you didn't say anything yet, y'know, about the whole lock and key on my vagina."
"What is there to say?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "You do not want to have sex, the matter is settled."
"That's it?" she narrowed her eyes at him; she was having trouble believing that he could be so complacent with her decision. "You're not gonna argue with me or anything?"
"Wouldn't that make me a... What do you call it?"
"A dick tip," she offered.
"Yes. That. And I know better than to try to rush you by now, if the bruised state of my nether regions is anything to judge by," he pointed out.
"Don't act like you don't deserve it." She reached up and flicked his nose, then stuck her tongue out at him for good measure.
"Perhaps you should have become a nun," he grumbled.
"Yeah, right." She leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips, since she was feeling a little better. "Now get off me, I am a very busy woman and cannot be distracted."
"You are a bastion of warmth and intimacy, as always," he informed her, then poured himself another cup of tea and took a sip.
She was going to get him back for that one- just for the fun of it. "It's too bad we're not having sex," she sighed as she watched him drink. "Seeing as I'm double-jointed."
At that proclamation he spat his tea out across the table in one of the best spit-takes she'd seen from him yet. "W-What?" Not to mention he turned bright red for a third time.
"Yeah," she confirmed. "I can touch my feet to the back of my head."
"...You want me to die of internal bleeding, don't you?"
"Look on the bright side." She paused to give him an encouraging pat on the back. "You still got hands."
"Keep it up and I will not be helping you with the dishes."
"I think we established a long time ago that the dishes are your territory," she pointed out smugly, then pushed her dirty bowl toward him. "Besides, it's not like you got anything better to do." She stood up from the table and brushed the crumbs off her front, then headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked, affronted at her desertion.
"I gotta start cleaning," she replied simply, then left him to clean up after her. She was starting to feel like she needed some time alone, and sorting through all of her drawings and packing up her things served as an excellent excuse to run off on her own. Besides, she really did need to start cleaning if she was going to get out of there in two days.
As she entered her room and closed the door behind her, she of course was still depressed about leaving the Valley of Peace; in the short time she'd been there, it had somehow become her home. Yet at the same time, she could feel the beginnings of the excitement that always bubbled up in her right before a trip. "Every end is a beginning," she reminded herself, then began ripping drawings off the wall one by one.
Shifu looked out over the valley, marveling at its beauty in the light of the setting sun. Nothing calmed him quite like playing his flute underneath the peach tree, especially when the skies were so clear and the weather so temperate. He'd spent most of his day searching in vain for Tai Lung, and after both Lin and Master Oogway had advised him several times to stop worrying and let the boy be alone, he had finally given up. They both seemed to know where Tai Lung was hiding out, so at least there was someone on the grounds who could check up on him and make sure he was alright. Shifu also had reason to suspect that Master Oogway had been giving Tai Lung peaches all day, as he'd caught the old master picking them from the peach tree several times, and each time he'd answered any questions as to what he was doing with, "Oh, not much of anything, really."
He just wished that he could talk to his son, and let him know that everything would be alright. Shifu himself wasn't too sure of the sentiment, but if he didn't tell Tai Lung that everything would be fine, then who would? Besides, he worried. It was just what he did, as a father and as a person in general.
Playing his flute didn't completely calm his nerves, of course, but at least it helped. As he raised the instrument to his lips again, he couldn't help but wish for something to drink. And then, as if his thoughts had called her, Lin showed up. At least, he assumed it was her, since what felt like a hot cup of tea was placed atop his head, and the only person he knew of who would do such a thing was her.
"I can only begin to guess what awaits me inside this cup," he grumbled, then grabbed it from his head and took a sip. It tasted a little bit like honeysuckle.
"Whatever, flute boy." She plopped down next to him and stuck her finger in the end of his flute.
"Stop that," he huffed, though he was glad to see her. She was planning to leave in two days' time, so he was hoping to be with her as much as possible. "I have had this flute for thirty years, and I am not about to replace it because you felt like irritating me."
She wrinkled her nose at him as she pulled her finger out of the flute. "That thing's older 'an I am," she pointed out needlessly.
"Thank you," he grumbled as he shook hair out of his flute. "Nothing cheers me up quite like feeling like a huge pervert."
"Sorry, I thought you woulda been used to it by now." She sidled a little closer to him, until their knees were touching. "So... You gonna play me a song?" She actually seemed sincere, to his surprise.
"Not on your life." He knew she would only make fun of him, though. Not that she wouldn't find something else to tease him about anyway.
"Aw, c'mon," she insisted, then leaned over and gave him a gentle nudge with her shoulder. "I never get to hear any music from you, and I promise not to be a jerk and tease you. Please?" She even pleaded with those big brown eyes of hers; she never used to do that, before they'd become a couple.
He supposed he only had himself to blame. "One song," he conceded. "One short song."
"Lay it on me, Amadeus."
He raised his eyebrows at the comment, but decided not to ask what she meant. Instead, he began to play the first full song Master Oogway had taught him, which was a slow, somewhat mournful tune. The subject of the song didn't have much to do with the situation; if he remembered correctly, Master Oogway had told him the song had been written by a son mourning his mother's death. Still, he liked the music and it wasn't too long, so at least he could avoid some measure of awkwardness. He could only imagine what Lin must have been thinking about his little performance, especially since he studiously avoided looking at her in the likely event that she was making ridiculous faces or shaking in silent laughter at him. It didn't seem too much to ask to want to ignore reality and imagine her actually listening to the song and appreciating its beauty.
When he finished playing, he was surprised to find that she actually wasn't laughing at him. Instead, she gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and held his hand.
"You are starting to frighten me," he said as he watched her stare out at the horizon.
"Sorry," she sighed. "I just... Liked the song. And I was thinking that, y'know, we're more alike 'an we both realize. Which would explain all the fighting."
While she had a good point, he wasn't used to her being so contemplative; it was off-putting, to say the least. "I can't pretend I'm not pleased you have yet to call me fat, but I must wonder where this sudden reflective side of yours has sprung from."
"Your mom," she replied, which was much more like her.
"I thought as much." He picked up his tea and finished it off, then stood up, pulling her to her feet with him. "There is something I have wanted to know all day long." The question he had in mind hadn't been at the top of his list, but it was something he wondered every time she blinked her thick, dark lashes at him.
"I might as well tellya, it's not like I'm keeping secrets anymore." She pulled her hand out of his to reach up and yank a stray hair from his ear, causing him to wince in pain.
He batted her hand away and glared at her a moment before continuing their conversation. "How did you convince people you were a man all those years?"
She laughed at the question. "I ain't exactly the most feminine woman on earth," she pointed out. "I bet if you hadn'ta heard me talk when we first met you woulda wondered a little."
"Well your voice..."
"I disguised it. And I was still pretty young when I lived in Shanghai, so it wasn't like I was pretending to be some middle-aged melon-head." She grinned at the insult, but he wasn't going to take her bait.
"Your eyes!" he pointed out. "What about that?"
"I'm pretty sure people don't go around judging each other's sex by the size of their eyes," she argued. "Lookit yours! They're like... Big buttons on a stuffed animal." That one was a little insulting, actually. "Besides, I shaved my eyelashes. I tried plucking 'em out, but that just looked weird. Keeping 'em really short was the way to go. Combine that with some tough talking, and no one thought twice about it, not even the girls. They thought I was pretty cute, actually, in a street-wise rascal kinda way."
"I am sure you were positively winsome," he huffed, rolling his eyes at the way she seemed to be bragging. "A regular ragamuffin."
"I had a bigger dick 'an you, too," she added.
"I cannot believe you." Sometimes he just wanted to turn around and walk away from her, the things she said were so needlessly offensive. "You are- You-" Shifu couldn't even bring himself to think of a comeback.
"Think carefully about how you finish that sentence," Lin warned, crossing her arms. "'Cause if it ends with 'just the cook,' consider yourself worse than dead."
"I can't even think of how to end it," he admitted. "You are indescribable."
"Thank you," she replied, letting out a snort and smiling.
Despite himself, he found it... Endearing. "I will admit that you are fairly charming, when you want to be." He did have his own agenda in mind with the compliment, though. "And sometimes when you're not trying, as well."
"Naw," she grumbled back. "Really?" She raised her eyebrows, obviously waiting to be showered with more arbitrary compliments.
Shifu rolled his eyes at the reaction and, instead of answering her, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer.
She let out one of the completely unique noises she made whenever he startled or tickled her, and attempted to push him away. "Ew, quit being gross," she protested, even though she had seemed to be in a romantic mood not long ago.
"You're not getting away that easily." Out of some masochistic impulse, he held fast to her and leaned forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. Then, he waited for the kick to the crotch, head-butt, or smack to the face that inevitably came whenever she wasn't in the mood for his advances. However, he remained unscathed.
Instead, Lin actually blushed and relaxed a bit, resting her hands on his chest. Then, in an absolutely shocking turn of events, she let out a girlish giggle.
He blinked, wondering when the universe would collapse in on itself in the face of such a paradox, but apparently that wasn't about to happen. "You just giggled," he pointed out incredulously. "Girlishly."
"Stick it up your ass," she snapped in an instant return to her normal behavior. "And let go of me, already! I got better things to do 'an put up with you and your stupid sappy crap."
"What if I say no?" he ventured, just for kicks.
"I know you didn't just say that to me," she growled back.
He decided to call her bluff and pulled her even closer, until she was pressed up against him; he noticed in the process that she didn't actually put up a fight. He could even feel her heartbeat quicken against his chest. Against his better judgement, he attempted to say something romantic and flattering. "How did you get so beautiful?"
Lin slid a hand up to his shoulder and leaned up to whisper tenderly in his ear. "I used to be a man," she answered in a noticeably lower pitch than her normal voice.
Shifu immediately let go of her and walked away. "I hate you so much," he grumbled as he stomped down the stairs. He couldn't even bring himself to look at her, he was so disturbed by how accurate her impression of a young man's voice had been. No wonder she'd had no trouble concealing her identity in Shanghai.
She just started to laugh hysterically, holding onto her sides. "That's what you get for using such a lame line!" she called after him. "Aw, c'mon!" Then, she lowered her voice again. "Don't you wanna kiss?"
"Stop that!" He kept walking, trying very hard not to think of the time he'd seen her pee standing up. He failed, of course. "You are the worst- the worst- whatever we are supposed to be- in existence!"
"Not so in love now, are you?"
"Don't start with that, you are not going to get me to take it back." He knew for a fact that if he went along with that joke, she would somehow find a way to twist his words and make it sound like he'd been serious. "And I thought you had better things to do."
She managed to catch up with him, though she was out of breath- he wasn't sure whether that was due to all of her laughter or running after him. "I lied."
"In that case, perhaps you could finish what you started this morning." There were still a few things about her past that he was fuzzy on- well, more than a few things. He knew it would be no good to push her, but he was getting impatient.
She gave him a hard poke in the side and snorted. "I hope you're not talking about when you grabbed my ass."
"You know what I mean." He wondered why she bothered acting evasive at all, if she was apparently done keeping secrets.
"Fine, fine," she conceded. "Come to the kitchen, we can have a little something to eat, and I'll tellya all the gruesome details of my sordid youth."
He wondered if she was even going to take any part of their discussion seriously. "Do you ever stop eating?"
"Where I come from, nobody ever stops eating. Or drinking, for that matter." That was pretty believable.
Even though she had wanted to start her story in the kitchen, he couldn't help but ask the question that he should have asked first, the one basic piece of information that he had neglected up until that point. "Alright, so where exactly do you come from?"
She grinned back at him. "Picture it: Sicily, the end of Clement the twelfth's papal reign. A family of poor lemon farmers is blessed by the birth of their sixth child..."
A/N: Alright, some extensive footnotes here. Artists actually have a rich history as revolutionaries. Back in the day, since most people were illiterate they were informed of current events through art, mainly prints. As such artists held a huge sway over public opinion and those who spoke out against the government in countries with censorship laws were often jailed and/or executed. Their opinions were also respected because an artist was expected to be highly educated- there was a time when art was one of the scholarly pursuits! Of course, all that changed in the nineteenth/twentieth century with the advancements in mass media and the invention of photography. *The More You Know!*
Also of note: Lin is not from Sicily the island, but from the modern day region of Calabria (specifically on the southeast shore somewhere between Reggio di Calabria and Catanzaro, if anyone cares to know). Until it was united with the Kingdom of Naples in 1815, Sicily was a kingdom that extended almost halfway up the mainland. You also may have noted that I mentioned a real pope there, but don't take it as an indication of time period- as with the movie, there is no specific time period in the fic (though I like to think it's vaguely after 1600). For instance, lithography didn't come on the scene until the 1790s.
As for the talk about sex... I'm too much of a proponent for open frank discussions about sex to not endorse them, and I felt like it wouldn't be like Lin to not say something. And in regards to the flute scene, I imagine the song Shifu played on his flute is "Oogway Ascends" from the movie soundtrack; I also like to imagine in my own little fandom world that Oogway is the one who wrote the song. Finally, I would like to point out that the name Quan, while meaning "spring (as in the water)" is also a martial arts term for "fist." I thought it was quite fitting.
PHEW! That was a lot more than I usually have to say. Anyway, next chapter: more of Lin's past is revealed, and we hear from Tai Lung. Seeya then!