I soooooo sorry. I wish I had an excuse, but the only one I can truly use is the depression that showed itself during my last chapter deepened, and I would have ended up just killing everybody. I read this story that described exactly what would have happened perfectly, 'Rocks fall and everybody dies.' A great Harry Potter story that I got addicted to, that, in the end, was the main thing that pulled me through, so I owe big thanks to Emma Lipardi, tough I don't think she knows how much she helped me… Any~who, on with the story!
Disclaimer: Of course I own Naruto… (listens) Does anybody hear sirens? Oh crap! Y'all never saw me! (runs away)
"I-i don't remember any of it!" Kakashi exclaimed fervently, appalled with himself.
"I don't doubt that, Hatake-san. After all, you spent the first four years after my birth in a permanent state of inebriation. I bet you could hardly remember your own name the next morning. I don't know why I didn't see it before, the silver hair, the mask, the Sharingan. It was all so obvious. Perhaps it was the distinct lack of the scent of sake." Eien said, looking down at the crying man disdainfully.
"H-haven't touched a drop since you left. I-i failed him. I failed you. I failed Konoha. I couldn't stand to look myself in the face!" The Konoha nin proclaimed. Eien turned away.
"Unfortunately, that won't turn back time." Eien smooth voice followed him out of the light. Kakashi truly let himself go with the clang of the metal door he had yet to see.
~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~
Zabuza Momochi wandered the vast halls of the Kazekage Tower, calling, "Eien-sama? Haku? Hello? Gaara! Anybody?" His deep voice rebounded off the high ceilings, echoing his sentiments. Finally he gave up, and with a sigh, settled into the couch that inhabited one of the alcoves that peppered the humongous building, and allowed himself to do something that he hadn't done in a while, contemplate who he was now, and how he got there.
Mizukage of Kirigakure, a position he thought he would never have.
And it all started when he met that blond brat.
Flashback: 9 Years Ago
He and his apprentice had settled in a small town that resided on the outskirts of a hidden village that had just been established, called Otogakure.
Usually the man would choose a place that was less likely to try to take him down for the bounty on his head, but he and Haku were here for a certain reason.
They were following the rumors of a new assassin group that interested Zabuza. According to some of the people he talked to (under a henge, of course) the group was made up totally of runaway kids, and they had never failed a mission.
A load of bull, of course, but it still peaked the missing nin's interest. And so he dragged Haku to the small town where the rumors claimed the assassin group made base.
Zabuza told the ten-year-old that he was taking a nap, and to go gather herbs for that headache cure of his. Haku, thinking nothing of it, agreed, and, gathering up his basket, bustled out of the inn, not noticing his maser following him in the trees.
The man thought that if the group was really made up of brats, then Haku would be good bait. He wasn't disappointed.
Not long after Haku had started gathering in a small clearing by a large lake, just off the road, a blond boy stumbled down the road, leaning heavily on the back of a dark furred animal, most likely a dog.
The blond kid was covered in cuts and bruises, and was limping heavily. Haku, being the compassionate boy he was, cried out in shock, dug some salve and bandages out of the pack slung on his back, and ran to the other child.
As soon as Haku drew near, the blond boy looked up, blue eyes weary. "Who are you?" The kid demanded.
Zabuza hopped to a nearer tree and waited to see if any of his lessons had sunk into the raven haired kid.
Haku seemed to hesitate, before saying, "I'm Haku, an assistant medic-nin. Who are you, and who did this to you?" Good, vague occupation, no last name, and no village affiliation, the kid actually remembered something.
The blond kid allowed Haku close enough to begin dressing the cuts on his arm. "Naruto." One word answer? Even better.
"Naruto is who you are, or he is who did this to you?" Haku probed gently, moving on to the younger boy's legs.
"My name is Naruto, and I got ambushed. Damn Ne…" The first part was spoken allowed, the last part to himself, though both Haku and Zabuza heard it.
The name Naruto rang a distant bell in Zabuza's mind as he listened, but he couldn't place it.
The Ne, on the other hand, was something he was well acquainted with. ANBU Ne, or Root, was a secret faction of the Konoha ANBU force, though it was supposed to have been abolished years ago by the decree of the Sandaime Hokage.
Apparently that didn't work. But why would Ne be after this kid? And if they were, how did the brat get away?
A gasp from below brought his attention back to the two children, and he saw that Haku had lifted Naruto's shirt to check for injuries hidden there, and found a wound that could only be done by a sword, and that was a little too close to the kid's heart for comfort. But it wasn't that that had the older boy in shock. It was the fact that before their eyes, the laceration was closing itself up at rapid, unnatural speeds.
Naruto jumped up from the ground, away from the older boy. Some of the bandages on his arms fluttered to the ground, revealing that the wounds they had previously covered no longer existed.
The animal stepped in front of its master, forgotten until then, and Zabuza realized it was a black fox. Finally the parts of the puzzle connected.
Naruto Uzumaki, vessel of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, runaway from Konoha five years ago after the murder of three grown men. A hefty price was on that brat's head. Zabuza drew his sword quietly, ready to protect hi young protégée, when smoke flashed through the clearing, revealing five figures had joined the two boys.
All of the new figures bowed as one to Naruto. The smoke cleared as the first figure stood. A young woman, her blond hair a few shades darker than Naruto's, observed the situation unsmilingly. She looked no older than twenty, though her dark eyes were much older, and wary enough to belong on an old man.
The next to stand up was someone that was familiar to Zabuza. An urchin he had seen on the streets long before his banishment, before the attempted coup d'état was even planned. The vessel of the Rokubi no Namekuji. Still thin, though no longer painfully so, he was a small boy, a bit older than Naruto, though his hair was black, tinted blue, and his eyes were dark. A water pouch slung around his waist, and he twirled an odd pipe in his fingers.
Naruto, who before had almost radiated innocence, changed, though not visibly. "Yuugito-chan, Utakata-kun, did you take care of the bodies?"
Yuugito, the girl nodded, saying, "Utakata sent their hitai-ates and your note to Konoha via snail mail."
"Slugs, Yuugito-chan, not snails." Utakata's voice was oddly monotone for a boy his age.
"Ah, what's the difference? They're both slimy." Yuugito shrugged.
One of the three remaining figures stood up, and opened his mouth to speak, but Naruto slapped a hand over his mouth.
"Oh, no, Itachi-kun, I grow tired of your lectures, and I'm sure the others agree." The blond stated, and Zabuza was shocked to see he addressed a teenager. Upon closer look, it revealed the teen had long, dark hair, and black, disconcerting eyes. The boy who stood next to him bore an eerie resemblance, though he was only Naruto's age.
It hit the missing nin then, Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha, the last two Uchihas, believed to be dead after the Massacre almost two years ago.
"Yeah, Itachi-nii, we all… grow tired of it!" Sasuke appeared to be a typical kid, though, unlike the blond he had just imitated.
The last to stand was the most shocking. No because of the blood red hair bestowed on him, or the baleful, pupil less eyes that swept the clearing, but because he was the most easily recognizable. Gaara no Subaku, youngest son of the Kazekage of Sunagakure, and vessel of the Shukaku no Ichibi.
"Naruto-sama, we completed the mission, and the funds were transferred to the Yuumei's account, as agreed upon." Gaara drawled, ignoring the two bickering brothers beside him.
"Perfect! Excellent! Good job everyone! You are free to go enjoy your cuts in the town at your leisure, but report back to camp by sunrise tomorrow. We have to pack up and head out." Naruto ordered. The group nodded, but and disappeared. "UTAKATA! Make sure you get your soap!"He called, though it seemed he was telling no one.
Finally he turned to Haku, nodded, saluted the tree Zabuza was in jauntily, and seemed to evaporate into the air.
'Impossible, just a show for our benefit. There is no way that blond brat is the leader of an assassin group.' Zabuza thought, as he hopped down out of the tree, landing gently beside his tool.
Haku didn't seem shocked to see him, and just chuckled before turning towards the town.
"Are you coming Zabuza-san? We won't find out more about the Yuumei without going into town!" He called over his shoulder, leaving his master trotting to catch up, and mumbling about cursed girlish boys.
Flashback End
Afterwards, they had found Sasuke browsing a pocky stand, and followed him to the camp just before dawn, where Zabuza attempted to call them on their bluff.
It ended rather embarrassingly for him.
Flashback: 9 Years Ago
"Naruto Uzumaki, if you are truly powerful enough to run a group like this, you'll be able to beat me with no problem." Zabuza called, standing outside the small circle of tents. A tussled blond head poked out of one of the tents and blue eyes studied him blurrily. The head disappeared, and the boy's voice, slurred with sleep, called, "It's almost two in the morning, you half-crazed pseudo-demon! Go away and come back at a reasonable time!"
"Why, so you can pack up and leave before I can beat your pansy ass into the ground? Think again munchkin!"
Another head appeared out of the tent, a man's with messy read hair and red, cat slitted eyes. He scowled at the late night/early morning visitors.
"Leave my son alone at such an early hour, you idiot. You dare challenge a real demon while you piggy back on our reputations?" The man commanded. He stepped out of the tent.
"Kyuu-chan! I'm tired, and if you kill him then his screams will keep me up all night." Naruto's voice yelled.
"Fine, fine, Kit, I won't kill him. Can I toy with him at least?"
Zabuza wheeled backward. Kyuu- Kyuubi! And that brat was ordering him around? No, wait; it must be just another act. This was probably the real boss of the group, and the munchkins just answered to Naruto because he was in with the boss! (Though he didn't let his mind linger on what that might mean.)
"Fine, he's not going away, I'll take care of him." Naruto stumbled out of the tent, in a loose pair of pajama pants, a large white t-shirt, and a ridiculous sleeping cap that looked like some sort of animal eating his head.
He focused blurrily in Zabuza's direction, "Kyuu, give me a hand, am I looking at him?"
The man, Zabuza refused to think of him as the demon fox, gave a long suffering sigh, "Yes, Naruto, you're looking at him. Try not to fall asleep while you're standing up again."
"Good. Okay… what was I doing? … Oh, yeah." All Zabuza felt was an extremely concentrated burst of killing intent; it felt like it was suffocating him, before he realized he really was suffocating!
"I have strong air affinity, and I froze the air in your lungs. You'll be out for a few hours in five…four…three…two…one."
And Zabuza's world turned black.
Flashback End
So the brat really was in charge, the man really was the demon fox, and Zabuza was really screwed. What else was new?
In the end Zabuza and Haku joined up, and the first thing Naruto did was abolish Zabuza's, what did he call it, 'bond of slavery' with Haku.
"Zabuza, if you don't snap out of it, I'm leaving you here." The voice of his lover roused him out of his thoughts, and he hooked an arm around the younger man's slim waist.
Haku's eyes lit up with humor, and he swooped to lay a kiss on his husband's slightly chapped lips. "Hello handsome. Welcome back to the land of the living. I've been calling you for ten minutes. What were you thinking about?" he asked.
"How we got here, actually, and who it is we have to thank for everything." Zabuza admitted, dragging the younger man to sit in his lap.
"Oh. Well, that's a hard one. Who was it that accepted us without a question to our loyalty? Who gave us his trust, who gave you your position, your lifelong dream, and who got us two together while we were kicking and screaming?" Haku snuggled into Zabuza's lap, pretending to think hard. After a while he said, "Give me a hint."
"Minx. But I love you anyway." The older man nuzzled the ear presented to him.
Haku practically purred in pleasure. "Mmm. Me too. Let's go home, you horn-dog, before we give anybody who's passing a show."
"Yeah, don't want to traumatize Eien-sama again, after that one time he walked in on us."
Laughing, the two men walked out of the building before using the special transport jutsu Eien-sama had invented to connect the villages he had conquered.
Just another day in the life.
The End! Of the chapter anyway. I love this couple! A bit of fluff for the holiday. I love Thanksgiving, I get to actually eat homemade food, and I don't have to pay for it! ^^ Yep, my priorities are skewed a bit. Any~who, off to work on another update. Can you believe I'm actually updating before midnight? Hasta la pasta!