Blue Plate Special

by Marie Goos

After Oogway hires a stranger off the street to cook for Shifu and Tai Lung, things begin to get a little awkward.

35. Do Not Eat to Live, Live to Eat

A/N: First off, I apologize for once again being late. Real life has not been kind to me. On the bright side, this is the longest chapter in the fic... So at least you got some extra reading out of it. I would also like to take this opportunity to say thank you again to the readers and reviewers. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda belongs to Dreamworks.

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Chapter 35: Do Not Eat to Live, Live to Eat

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While most men would have been thrilled to wake up beside the object of their affections, none of them had ever woken up next to Lin, a woman whose very existence defied everything there was to know about love. And, in most cases, those men would have woken up after a night of passion, rather than a night of being repeatedly punched in the crotch by their unconscious partner. Nor had any of them woken up in the world's mushiest bed, like Shifu had; his back was killing him from the lack of support. "Oof!" he grunted when Lin flung her arm out, thankfully hitting him in the stomach this time.

He should have woken her up, after the abuse she'd put him through all night long. And yet he didn't. She looked so peaceful and contented that he couldn't bring himself to snap her out of it. He knew what she'd say if she knew he'd been watching her sleep, of course- that he was a creep and a stalker. That wasn't going to stop him. This day was going to be absolutely perfect, and nothing was going to ruin it, not even Lin's attitude.

Speaking of whom, she snorted and squeezed his stomach, where her hand had landed to rest. "What is this tub of lard next to me?" she muttered, her voice a little raspy.

"I assure you that I am laughing on the inside." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her flush against him, and she miraculously did not argue. "I love you," he added, just because.

She burped in his face in response.

"Never mind," he coughed, trying to wave the foul morning breath smell away to no avail.

"I love you, too," she yawned, completely ignoring his plight.

"Your antics are not going to get to me today," he informed her, still waving at the air with one hand. "It is your last day here and it is going to be perfect."

"Whatever you say," she dismissed, but helped him realize his vision of the perfect day by kissing him on the cheek and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Tell me, what would you like to do today?" He knew he was taking a big chance by asking her, but he held out hope that she would be merciful.

"Well, first I wanna flick you in the nutsack," she replied, then did so.

"Hey!" he huffed, batting her hand away from his already tender nether regions.

"Then I think I wanna finish cleaning out this damn room. After that I'll play it by ear." She reached up and gave his left ear a tug for emphasis.

"Is this your version of flirting?" he grunted, grabbing both of her wrists to keep her from poking or prodding him again. "Because if it is, I am not sure how much more of it I can take."

"You'll take it and you'll like it," she ordered, then gave him a surprisingly gentle kiss. Of course, the moment he let go of her she grabbed onto his sides and squeezed. "Honk honk," she intoned in a nasal voice. "Y'know why they call 'em love handles, right?"

"Because I would love to roll you down the mountain's thousand steps right now?" he guessed, attempting to push her off of him.

"Oh, you're no fun," she huffed, then gave him one last poke in the stomach before she rolled off of him and pushed herself into a sitting position with a loud groan. "Guess I'll just hafta get started on all this shit." She paused to look around the room, clearly procrastinating. "So... You want any of it?"

"What?" He sat up, wincing as his back cracked like an old man's would. "You would just... Give it up?"

"No use in carrying everything with me." She paused to stretch, arching her back, and he politely averted his gaze. "Drawings, paintings, they're all disposable," she sighed. "If you don't want 'em, I can just use 'em to start up my campfires."

"Absolutely not," he argued immediately, turning back to her. "You cannot dispose of any of this." He didn't understand why she would want to burn any of her work to begin with. In his opinion, all of it was wonderful.

"You want it, then?" she shot back.

"Yes." He supposed he could use a keepsake, anyway. Or rather, several hundred keepsakes. "I would not dream of throwing them out. And I assure that they will all be... Greatly appreciated."

She snorted at him, but blushed a little bit. "Sometimes I just gotta wonder if you're for real, the shit that comes outta your mouth."

"I will take that as a compliment." He assumed she meant that he was being "sweet" again- leave it to Lin to refer to a person's attributes as flavors.

"Next thing I know you'll be out picking flowers again, you big mushy blockhead."

"Do not act like you don't want me to," he accused, then gave her a taste of her own medicine and poked her in her side, where he knew she was ticklish.

"Ack!" Despite the terrifying noises she made, she seemed amused. Then, she reached out and placed her hands on his shoulders; he thought he had a kiss coming, but as it turned out she was simply using him as leverage to push herself to her feet. "You might as well help me get all this crap sorted out, since you're gonna be taking it."

"I suppose so." While he would have liked to remain in bed for a little bit longer, he knew the penalty for such an act would be more poking and prodding from Lin. "Since it is your last day here... Well, I could take care of meals. If you would like."

"No offense," she began, which was a good indicator that she was about to insult him, "but I don't wanna spend my last day in luxury eating burnt up pieces of shit. It kinda ruins the mood."

"I only offered so you would not have to cook," he grumbled as he stood up.

"Yeah, you got a point. I kinda don't wanna spend all day cooking, either."

He glared at her back as she rolled up a stack of papers, waiting for her to suggest something, but she just remained silent. "So what should we do about that?" he finally asked, annoyed. "Just starve?"

"I can make rice porridge yet again for breakfast," she offered. "That's easy, and the morning gong's probably still an hour off yet, anyway. Then for lunch I got some vegetables that need to be eaten, and I always thought fresh vegetables were nice on a warm day. Those with cold tofu would be tasty, right? For dinner... I'm drawing a blank."

Shifu knew her well enough to know that she wasn't drawing a blank, but simply wanted something. What she was aiming for, though, he had no idea. "...Alright. I give up," he sighed. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing," she answered innocently, then batted her eyes at him over her shoulder, most likely because she knew how much the gesture would get to him. "I was just thinking it might be nice to get out, y'know? Maybe go to a restaurant or something."

"Very well, we will go to a restaurant," he sighed, even though he knew the moment he agreed she would go back to acting like some uncouth street urchin. Which, he supposed he would have to admit, was what she actually was.

"Oh, good, 'cause I been eyeing this noodle place for weeks." She definitely perked up at his agreement, an excited smile spreading across her face. "I always hear people talking about the secret ingredient soup. Oh, and I want bean buns, too. I ain't had one of those in... I think it's been five years, by now." She seemed happier about their prospective meal than anyone should ever be over something so small. Then again, she'd always gotten worked up about little things, whether they be a visit to a restaurant or a simple rainbow. In a way, it was really rather cute.

"Is it safe to assume from your reaction that the bill for tonight's meal will be exorbitant?" He honestly wouldn't be surprised if she ordered one of everything on the menu.

"Absolutely." At least she was being honest. "Anyway, if I'm gonna have breakfast ready by the time Tai Lung wakes up, I better get started on it now."

"Perhaps I should see if Master Oogway would like to join us," he offered.

Lin raised her eyebrows at him, apparently surprised. "Y'know, you've come a long way from eating alone in bed like a depressed teenager with an eating disorder."

"I never ate in bed," he huffed, crossing his arms. "Just because I ate my meals alone-"

"In bed," she added, then headed for the door. "And can you do me a favor and take care of... All this?" She indicated her entire room, clearly talking about the explosion of artwork she was leaving behind. "Thanks." With that, she was gone.

"Some things never change," he grumbled to himself as he surveyed the mess he'd been left to clean up. He would take care of it for Lin, since it was her last day with them, but not without a healthy amount of complaining. First and foremost, though, he needed to find Master Oogway (not a difficult task, considering the old turtle went through his morning routine like clockwork). He quietly snuck out of the barracks, just in case Lin had any more demands for him. Not that he wouldn't be happy to fulfill any of them- he just didn't want to get sidetracked. After all, he could use a conversation with his master.

Of course, it was easy enough to find Master Oogway in the midst of his morning tai chi underneath the sacred peach tree, serene as usual. "What did you do now?"

"Nothing," he huffed, though he had to say he had set a precedence. "I was in fact hoping you could join us for breakfast, Master."

"That sounds lovely." Oogway brought his feet closer together to begin his cool down. "I must say, you are taking Lin's departure much better than I ever could have imagined," he commented, though Shifu didn't see what was so surprising about him being able to keep his act together.

"I do not have much of a choice," he pointed out. "I must set an example for Tai Lung. And I doubt Lin would want to see me acting like... Well, you understand."

"There is nothing wrong with feeling sad about losing someone you love," the old master gently pointed out. "Lin would understand that."

"Obviously, she has never called you a paunchy old woman and smacked you in the back of the head," he huffed, massaging his temple at the very thought of how Lin would react if he even began to entertain the notion of falling to pieces. Somehow he doubted that her taking potshots at his masculinity would make for the best memories to have on their last day together.

"I think you are underestimating her emotional sensitivity." He paused a moment and looked Shifu in the eye, but neither of them could keep from snorting at the sentiment.

"That was a good one."

"No, no," Oogway chuckled, shaking his head. "As amusing as the notion is, I was sincere." He bent down to pick up his staff, then lightly knocked on the peach tree with it to knock off one of the dwindling fruits, catching it as easily as if the tree had been aiming for him.

"Is this the portion of the conversation when you compare Lin to a peach and me to some other fruit and then tell me a metaphor that I won't figure out until five years from now?"

The old master stared at him for a moment, then licked his lips and raised one claw. "Specifically... You are an apple."

"Oh." Frankly, Shifu was surprised he'd even gotten it right. "...Why is Lin a peach, again?"

"Fuzzy on the outside, sweet on the inside," he clarified.

"Deep, deep down on the inside," Shifu added. "Wait- what does that mean for me, if I'm an apple? Am I waxy on the outside? Do I have seeds in me? Is that the metaphor?"

He simply smiled and shook his head, clearly amused by the questions. "I will tell you the metaphor. Listen carefully, though- you'll want to make that five-year deadline." Oogway paused and pointed to the peach tree of heavenly wisdom.

"...I'm a tree?" He didn't quite get what his master was trying to say to him, not that that was anything new.

"No, no," Oogway chuckled. "Look at the peach tree. It may seem frail, but it is persistent. If I chop off all of its branches, even if I chop away most of the trunk, it will survive. Not only will it survive, but it will continue to grow. Do you know why?"

"Ahm..." He searched hard for the correct answer, but still came up empty. "...Magic?"

"Because it has roots."

"Right, that was my second choice." He supposed he would have to mull that one over for a while, if he really was going to figure it out in the next five years. "Roots. I will remember that."

Oogway just smiled at him. "Good."

"...I should get back to the barracks before Lin notices I'm gone."

Oogway's laughter at that comment was less than comforting, but he had probably walked right into it. Perhaps he was "whipped"; perhaps he was an apple and Lin was a peach- whatever that meant. For this one day, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that nothing went wrong.

---

Lin sighed as she squinted down at the rice porridge in her pot. She could hear Shifu in her room across the hall, cursing her name as he waded through all of the artwork she'd created in the past three months. It was pretty depressing to imagine the room she'd made so comfortable, the first room that had been all her own in three years, was being cleaned out. She was glad, actually, that she didn't have to finish the task on her own.

"Ever rigorous in your duties, I see," a benign elderly voice greeted from behind her. "How are you feeling this morning? Shifu did not keep you up with his snoring, did he?"

"Nah," she replied, turning around to smile at Oogway. "Apparently I punch in my sleep, though."

"How fitting," he chuckled, then sat down at the kitchen table. "I am not too early, am I?"

"If you ask me, there's no such thing. Not when it comes to breakfast, anyway. Sex, on the other hand-"

The old master held up a hand to cut her off. "I already know that about Shifu," he informed her politely.

She stared at him a moment before she actually got the joke. "Hah!"

"What's so funny?" Tai Lung shuffled into the kitchen, yawning.

"Nothing." Lin doubted that either Shifu or Tai Lung would appreciate her repeating the joke.

"I probably don't wanna know anyway, right?" he asked dubiously as he dropped down into his seat.

"Definitely not," Oogway confirmed.

Tai Lung took a moment to eye each of them curiously. "...I need more friends my own age," he concluded.

"Well, you'd need to go down to the village more often for that," Lin pointed out. "Speaking of which, you'll never guess what we're gonna do tonight."

"Mourn your departure with a candlelight vigil?" he guessed sarcastically.

She decided to let it slide. "No, smartass. We're going into the village for dinner!"

"How delightful." Oogway smiled widely at the news. "It will certainly be a wonderful bonding opportunity for the three of you."

"You're invited, too." She didn't know why he would assume he wasn't. "You're kinda like the grandpa in our makeshift little family unit."

"In other words, the babysitter," Tai Lung added.

"Oh, quit it," Lin huffed as she grabbed some bowls and started spooning porridge into them. "You're too young to be acting so cynical just yet."

"Aren't you the one who's always saying I can do anything if I put my mind to it?" he shot back.

She simultaneously placed his porridge in front of him and gave him a light smack upside the head. "Do me a favor and save your breath for cooling your porridge."

"I am touched by your invitation, and the sentiment," Oogway pitched in, "and the ensuing argument. However, I think you, Shifu, and Tai Lung should have some time together- just the three of you. Besides, I have a significant amount of meditation to tend to."

"If you insist," she conceded, though she had to wonder whether he was actually planning to meditate for that long; she supposed spiritual people like him would have an easier time just... Sitting for so long, though. She would have asked, but she was interrupted before she had the chance.

"You are eating breakfast without me?" Shifu came rushing into the kitchen as if they were planning on starving him to death. "Why did you start without me?"

"The important thing is that you're here now," she reassured, then set a bowl of rice porridge at his place and watched as he sat down and practically tore through it.

"And by the way, I am not going to spend this entire day doing chores for you."

"And I'm not gonna watch you eat," she shot back. "It's grossing me out."

"You guys both eat like grossers," Tai Lung pitched in. "Every time I'm at the table with you it's like watching a couple of feral savages fight over a corpse."

Every adult at the table took some time to stare at him, before Lin broke the silence to voice what had been on her mind. "I thought you guys were keeping an eye on what he reads," she directed at both Shifu and Oogway.

"I have a high capacity for retention," Tai Lung answered for her.

"Well retain this: not all 'savages' are cannibals, or even savage for that matter, and you should be ashamed for making that kinda generalization about a culture you have never experienced for yourself," she scolded. "Furthermore, cannibalistic cultures only do so ritually, to pass on the power of their dead." She could tell from the confused look on Shifu's face that it wasn't quite the lecture he'd had in mind.

"...Yes," he agreed hesitantly. "That."

"Okay." Tai Lung turned back to his breakfast, also looking somewhat confused. "I'm sorry."

"As well you should be." She finally sat down at the table and took a pointedly dainty bite of her porridge. "Besides, I don't eat like a grosser- I am a perfect lady."

"Lin, I have been alive for nearly one thousand years," Oogway politely informed her. "I have seen nations rise and fall, dynasties begin and end, and I have seen war after war waged. Yet I have never, in all that time, seen anyone as full of it as you are."

Lin burst into laughter at the assertion, while Shifu was busy looking horrified and sputtering at Tai Lung's query as to what "it" was, exactly. These were the moments she was really going to miss. And she doubted she would ever find a place that felt quite so much like home as the Jade Palace; she wondered if she would ever even come close.

---

"No, you cannot get a tattoo," Shifu firmly informed Tai Lung for what seemed like the fiftieth time since Lin had brought them through a "shortcut" to the noodle restaurant she was so excited to visit. While the Valley of Peace mostly lived up to its name, there was still a certain faction of the population that was... Well, like Lin. And she had decided to lead them along a route that was populated mostly by those people, hence the tattoo shops and bars that lined the streets. He supposed that he could at least be grateful there were no brothels in sight.

"I'll bet Lin has a tattoo," Tai Lung muttered dejectedly, perking up at the sight of a passing boar who was practically covered in the things.

"Not yet," she confessed, though she did sound wistful about her lack of markings. "The fewer distinguishing marks I got, the better."

"Tattoos are improper, anyway, unless they are religious." He shuddered to think of his son one day being as densely decorated as that boar had been.

"Most guys only get tattoos to look tough, anyway," Lin dismissed. "And when you are tough, you don't gotta look tough. Which explains why your dad's so goofy looking, I guess."

"It is always a pleasure to know how highly you think of me," Shifu grumbled, then reached up to cover Tai Lung's ears as they passed a particularly raucous bar from which a few choice phrases emanated. "I am guessing that it is the height of happy hour."

"They sure as hell sound happy," Lin agreed as she longingly eyed the less than respectable establishment.

He honestly could not understand her unnatural love for all things unsavory, particularly bar fights. "Don't you dare think about going in there."

"You know I can still hear everything, right?" Tai Lung interjected, and he let go of the boy's ears, embarrassed.

"Oh, I wouldn't-" She stopped mid-sentence, though, when a shout and a crash could clearly be heard from the bar, topped off by a large lizard flying out the door and landing squarely on his face. Lin, of course, looked like a fly who'd just gotten a whiff of honey. "Wait here," she ordered, then turned to run headlong into the ruckus.

"I can help," Tai Lung added, following her lead.

Shifu managed to grab them both before they bolted, though just barely. "Not on your lives," he snapped, glaring back and forth between them. "We are going to spend some quality time together." He did not want this excursion turning into the same kind of disaster the rest of the day had dissolved into. A walk around the grounds that had inexplicably become a savage mud fight, a four-way game of mahjong between all of them that had resulted in Lin calling them all filthy names and threatening to cut them up, and an attempt to go swimming that had gone sour when Lin insisted on doing so in the nude had been some of the highlights of their interesting day together.

"We could spend quality time if you'd come with us," Tai Lung argued, straining toward the bar fight. "We could totally kick some major butt together."

"A true master of kung fu never fights except to defend the innocent," Shifu scolded, then gave both him and Lin a hard yank. "Those are a bunch of drunken ruffians, and were are not going to go anywhere near them. Now, we are going to dinner. Period."

"Yes, Master," he muttered, sounding as if he'd just been denied a sugary dessert.

"'Ruffians?' I can't believe you're allowed out in public," Lin grumbled, but followed him when he let go of her and walked as quickly as possible away from the bar. "By the way, I think I should lead, seeing as I'm the only one who knows where we're going." With that, she suddenly veered left and headed down a narrow side street, and he had to wonder if she had made the decision right at that moment.

"There is no need to act so disgruntled," Shifu huffed, watching Tai Lung from the corner of his eye to make sure the boy didn't try to make a break for it and join in that bar fight. "I am sure that you will have plenty of opportunities to grapple with the dregs of society once you set out on your travels."

"Yeah," she sighed, "but bar fights here are so much friendlier. I mean, no one's going for the kill."

"It is enough to make one feel all warm and fuzzy inside," he replied sarcastically. "Tell me, do you all break out into song at the end, as well?"

"It sounds like good, clean fun to me," Tai Lung replied hopefully.

Shifu frowned at him, far from amused. "If I ever find out that you have engaged in activities even slightly reminiscent of a bar brawl, I will disown you."

"But I guess it's cute when Lin does it," he grumbled under his breath, crossing his arms.

He would have scolded Tai Lung for his behavior, but Lin beat him to it with a smack upside the head, to boot.

"Quit being a sourpuss," she ordered, then turned down yet another winding side street. "Nobody likes a whiner."

"What she said," Shifu added.

"Besides, you got plenty of time to get into brawls when you're older," Lin added unhelpfully. "And you'll probably be traveling the world, fighting other kung fu types, y'know. This small time stuff just ain't up your alley." She gave the boy a comforting pat on the shoulder, and he seemed a bit cheered up by it.

Shifu just hoped he didn't take her words too seriously, or at the very least forgot about the suggestion that he could actually get into senseless fights simply for fun. "Let us change the subject of conversation, shall we?" He didn't want her to put any more ideas into Tai Lung's head than she already had.

"We can talk about dinner," she offered. "Since we're here."

"We are?" He blinked as they emerged onto a main street, a large circular doorway leading into an outdoor dining area in front of them, the mouth-watering smells of a busy kitchen and the chatter of satisfied customers drifting toward them. "How did we... Weren't we just on the other side of town?"

"You'd think so," she answered without actually addressing his question, then turned to Tai Lung. "You ever been out to a restaurant, kid?"

"Nope. Master Shifu thinks it's undisciplined and a waste of time and money." He eyed the restaurant, as if he were debating with himself whether to believe the sentiment (the delicious scent of noodles in the air was probably convincing him otherwise).

"Apparently he's the authority," she scoffed, probably displeased by Shifu's disregard for anything having to do with food or cooking.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably under her scrutiny and headed for the restaurant; he was not up for a fight at the moment. "Well, we had better get a table before they all fill up."

"You know what you want?" Lin asked as they entered the courtyard and he scanned the place for an empty table.

"Not yet."

"Okay, I'll grab a table and you guys go up and order- and remember, I want the secret ingredient soup and the bean buns. And get a pot of tea for the table, too. And something sweet for dessert, since we're out we might as well enjoy it, y'know. And don't try to get anything healthy, or else." She didn't wait for a response, and instead disappeared into a crowd of fellow patrons in search of a seat; apparently dinner was serious business to her.

"She's kinda intimidating when she gets like that," Tai Lung admitted as they joined the queue in front of the kitchen, straining to see the rather small sign that listed the place's menu.

Shifu leaned over to peer around the line as well, not surprised to find that most of the items listed were noodle dishes. "I suppose it would explain how she's survived on her own so far," he reasoned, taking comfort in the knowledge that as long as she was wise enough not to pick fights with the wrong kinds of people, Lin would be relatively alright. He tried not to think about how she thrived on picking fights with the wrong kinds of people.

"Could you imagine being a bandit, expecting to rob some defenseless girl, and getting a face full of that?" Tai Lung nodded toward Lin as she practically plowed through a group of children in order to beat an elderly man to the last free table in the restaurant.

"I would most likely be scarred for life." He winced as she waved energetically at them to make sure they would be able to find her after ordering, thus confirming to everyone in the area who'd been slighted by her that they were together. "In fact, I have already been scarred for life several times over."

"Just think of how much she's probably messed me up, by now. I'm at a critical stage of development." Tai Lung eyed the menu one more time. "I think I want the secret ingredient soup, too. Everyone keeps talking about it, and now I want it."

"Might as well make it three," he sighed, pretending not to see Lin as she made ridiculous faces at them from across the courtyard. He placed their order as quickly as possible with the goose who apparently ran the place, so he could at least attempt to keep half the village from witnessing her humiliating behavior. "Stop making faces," he hissed as he sat down next to her on the bench, and Tai Lung sat across from them. "You look like you have mental problems. People are going to think I'm your handler."

She just laughed at the scolding. "Wow, you're sick." The statement was apparently more complementary than anything else.

"Am I gonna have to remind you guys that you're informing the majority of my preadolescent experience?" Tai Lung asked with surprising sincerity as he leaned on the table, folding his arms in front of him.

"You seem to be laboring under the assumption that we don't wanna screw you up," she shot back, grinning at him.

"I'm pretty sure that if you wanted to screw me up I would've been through a lot worse by now."

"You never know, you coulda blocked it from your memory in a subconscious effort to minimize the damage to your psyche."

"This is not dinner table conversation," Shifu interrupted, though it clearly was- for them, anyway. Still, it was Lin's last dinner with them, and he would have preferred it to be just a little more normal. "Could we please discuss something... Proper?"

Lin burst into laughter at the request, and Tai Lung even snorted in amusement at it.

He should have known that he'd inspire such a reaction. "Very well, convince the entire valley that we abuse Tai Lung. It is not as if my reputation hasn't already been irreversibly tarnished in the past three months."

"Okay," she agreed.

"Hey," Tai Lung added loudly, just as the owner's son approached with their tea, "remember that time Lin beat me with a large wooden instrument?" The young goose stopped dead, just as he was leaning down to set down their pot, then seemed to shrug off the strange comment and went about serving them anyway.

"You are doing laps until the end of time," Shifu snapped as soon as their sever had gone, then poured himself a cup of tea; he was going to need it. "And why are you still making faces?" he directed at Lin, who was leaning around him and baring her teeth, her eyes bulging.

"She's sticking her tongue out at me," she replied, indicating a toddler two tables over.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as, for some unknown reason, she and Tai Lung began splashing hot tea back and forth across the table at each other. He had a feeling that it was going to be a long meal.

---

For the first time in a very long time, Shifu found himself staring up at the sky and actually looking at the stars. He did look at them occasionally, but never for very long or with the kind of appreciation that he knew he should have. His contemplation of the heavens above was briefly interrupted by some gas, which came about in the form of a burp; the noodle shop Lin had brought them to had been an unexpected delight, and he'd stuffed himself quite a bit. The fresh air was making him feel a little less full and sluggish, which was why he'd decided to sit out on the barracks porch while Lin saw Tai Lung off to bed. He sincerely hoped she wasn't telling him any colorful stories about her past- the less the boy knew about Lin's long list of transgressions, the better.

"Hey, whatchya up to?" Just then, Lin appeared in the barracks doorway, though rather than joining him at the steps she remained standing, awash in the warm light of her lantern. "Thinking about dessert?"

"Definitely not," he replied flatly, but he probably could go for a little something sweet, since she mentioned it. He was not about to admit that, though. "Is Tai Lung attempting to sleep?"

"Not willingly." She set her lantern down on the ground, then folded her arms in front of her and leaned on the door frame.

"We should probably get to bed," he pointed out. "Especially you, if you are going to have enough energy to start traveling in the morning."

"I wouldn't fall asleep anyway," she dismissed. "I can never sleep the night before I set out some place new- and it doesn't get much newer 'an where I'm headed. Well, I passed through before, but that was a long time ago."

"It occurs to me that I have no idea where you are planning to go," he admitted. "'West' is a bit vague, after all."

"Hm. Dunno if I should say exactly where." She completely avoided eye contact with him, which was nothing new for her. "Y'see, I dunno if anyone should really know where to find me. Not that I won't be moving around a lot as it is, but... You understand."

"Not particularly." While he would have liked to avoid arguing with her so close to her departure, there was apparently no avoiding it. "Do you think I would just run around shouting your location from the rooftops?"

"No," she huffed. "I just... Well, if you tried to write me a letter or something it might gimme trouble. Not to mention I wouldn't want it, anyway."

"First of all, I would not be idiotic enough to write a letter to someone trying to hide from the authorities," he grumbled, glaring at her. "Second, why would you not want a letter from me?"

"People write letters to each other under the assumption that they'll be seeing each other relatively soon," she pointed out. "If I even did come back at all, it wouldn't be for a good few decades. And... It'd just be... Painful, I guess is the word."

He was honestly surprised by her answer; he wouldn't have thought she would feel such a way- that it would be painful for her to think about him, when she couldn't be with him. "And here I was starting to think that you were not too upset about leaving."

"Whaddaya mean?" she asked, a hard edge to her voice that normally meant he'd said something offensive.

"All I am saying is that you have seemed more cheerful than I had expected," he replied carefully, hoping he could at least soothe her with the right wording. "It gives the impression that you are... Happy to be going. Sometimes you even seem excited."

"Well there's a simple explanation for that," she replied. "It's 'cause I am."

"...What?" He blinked at her, confused. "You want to leave?"

"I'm not saying I don't wanna stay with you," she amended, frowning at his reaction. "If I had to pick an ideal scenario, then I'd still be getting the hell outta China, but you guys'd come with me. I know that's not gonna happen any more 'an it's possible for me to stay here, though. Anyway, I can't hide the fact that I wanna see the world. And I can't pretend I'm not excited at the idea of doing just that."

"So what is this to you, then?" he asked harshly, bristling at the news that she couldn't wait to bolt. "Is this just another story to put into your collection?"

"You don't gotta get so defensive about it," she snapped. "If I asked you to leave the Valley of Peace, would you?"

"That is not-"

"Don't even!" she interrupted his argument. "Don't even tell me it's not the same thing, 'cause it is! I like to travel, you like to stay put. That's how we live our lives, and it ain't compatible. Can't you just accept that instead of biting my head off and acting like I don't love you?"

"If you love me, then why can't you even consider staying here?" he shot back. "When you love someone, you should be willing to sacrifice-"

"Sacrifice?" she repeated incredulously. "So, what? I'm the only one who should be sacrificing anything here? I'm the one who should drop everything to fit neatly into your life? Is that how this works?"

"How can you enjoy the life you lead?" He finally stood up so he wouldn't have to strain to look her in the eye and fight with her. "You have no home, no roots, no friends, no family- you are alone, when you refuse to settle down! Don't you want to make a life for yourself!"

"Not everyone wants your life!" she shouted back, giving him a hard poke in the chest. "You think I wanna end up alone! Nobody wants that! But it's better 'an living a life I hate. If you think I'm just gonna walk away from here and be all happy-go-lucky without you around, then you're dead wrong! But I can't be happy if I stay here, feeling like some trapped housewife, either! If I leave I'm unhappy, and if I stay I'm unhappy, so forgive me for trying to find something to look forward to in this no-win situation!"

"You are so completely self-centered! You think you are the only one this affects? Tai Lung is crushed-"

"Stop it! Stop talking about how much this is gonna hurt Tai Lung! I know he's upset, I've been interacting with him, y'know! For once, just tell me how you feel!"

"How do you think I feel!" He was fairly certain their argument had become loud enough to wake half the village below up, but he didn't care. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to actually love you in the first place? Do have any inkling of how much of myself I had to leave vulnerable- exposed! I know you will probably make fun of me for how silly this sounds, but I gave my heart to you! I gave everything to you and you are just leaving as if it doesn't even matter! As if I am worthless to you!" Once he realized how much of a fool he'd just made of himself he shut up and reigned himself in again, hoping that Lin would at least hold herself back from mocking him.

However, in a completely unforeseeable turn of events, she appeared to be speechless.

He couldn't just walk away from her like he would have with any other fight; this wasn't the type of fight one could walk away from, and even so, she was leaving in the morning. He didn't want this to be the last exchange between them. Still, he found himself unable to break the silence, so he stood there, floundering.

Then, in a quiet, tremulous voice he would have never expected to hear from her in a million years, she simply said, "I'm sorry."

He had no clue how to react to that; he wasn't used to her apologizing at all, let alone giving up a fight in order to do so. And she seemed sincere, too, which was the real source of his shock. "I, uhm... What?"

With a heavy sigh, she leaned back against the door frame, very clearly conceding in their argument. "You're right. I never really thought too much about how you'd feel about it... And, no offense, but I guess I still have trouble believing you actually care that much. Anyway, you're right about me being self-centered. And I'm sorry. And for the record, you're not worthless to me- not by a long shot."

"This is very unusual, this you admitting I'm right thing," he informed her, still dazed from the apology. "You will have to give me some time to adjust."

"Hilarious," she huffed, then poked him in the stomach. "Real funny."

"I am not joking," he informed her, glad that the tension between them was slowly dissipating. "I know you feel as though leaving is your only option. And I know you are not doing so because you don't care about me. I just... Want you here. With me."

"Oh, okay," she muttered, a light blush rising in her cheeks. "I'm glad you yelled at me," she added.

"...Why?"

"'Cause you tend to hold stuff in and let it eat away at you, and that's not healthy," she clarified, then reached out to straighten his collar. "And you should know that... You're not alone. With that whole feeling exposed thing. It's been hard for me, too, all this falling in love stuff."

"I can tell by your lyrical prose that you are sincere on the matter," he pointed out sarcastically, and let her fix his collar even though it was already perfectly straight.

She only smiled at him, then leaned up to give him a brief, sweet kiss. "Can we relax, now?"

"I suppose," he agreed; he didn't want to spend the next few hours fighting, either, so he might as well follow her approach and try to enjoy their time together. "It is our last night together. What would you like to do?"

"Shifu," she replied flatly. "We are alone together, in the middle of the night, and we may never see each other again. I think your answer's pretty obvious."

He should have known. "Alright, then. Let's do it."

---

"Oh God," Lin sighed as she leaned back, letting her eyes droop as she bathed in a warm, happy afterglow. "I needed that so much."

"Me too," Shifu replied. "It has been far too long."

"We probably shouldn'ta done this... I'm gonna be sore in the morning, now." She couldn't keep the satisfied smile off her face, though, as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "But it's worth it."

"Absolutely," he agreed. "You are amazing."

She felt herself blush a bit at the compliment. After all, he did not give out praise flippantly, and certainly not when he didn't mean it. "I'm glad you think so." She paused, then, watching him as he closed his eyes and mirrored her contented smile. "...You're not down for the count, are you?"

His eyes flew open and he blinked at her, looking startled. "What?"

"Well, we still got the whole night ahead of us. And I, for one, am ready for more." She raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to take her up on the challenge.

"I... Don't know if I can," he admitted sheepishly.

"Aw, c'mon, old man. I know you got a little more stamina 'an that." She placed one hand gently on his stomach and gave him another kiss. "You just gotta make room." With that, she pressed down on his stomach, pushing out a loud belch.

"Ack!" He batted her hand away, frowning at her, but his expression soon softened. "...I actually feel better, now."

"Toldya!" She grinned smugly at her small triumph. "So, whaddaya say? You up for more dessert?"

"Oh, what the hell," he sighed. "I might as well."

"Great, 'cause I am in the mood for some pie!" Lin jumped out of her seat at the kitchen table and headed toward the array of half-eaten desserts she'd been preparing over the past few days to cut a few slices of her peach pie; they had already polished off the remainder of the almond cookies, candied oranges, and the entirety of the fried bananas she had made that night. "Was this or was this not a good idea?" she prodded. "I mean, nothing beats a late-night dessert buffet."

"So you do this often?"

"Not really. I mean, you gotta have the means for a dessert buffet before you can actually have one." She set down a plate piled high with pie and green tea cookies in front of him, then sat down with her own. "It's better 'an sex."

"Oh? And how would you know?" he scoffed.

"'Cause I have sex with myself all the time," she pointed out haughtily, laughing when he turned bright red at the proclamation. "Aw, c'mon, like you don't?"

"I certainly do not brag about it like some sort of depraved lunatic," he huffed.

She couldn't believe how embarrassed he was getting, but then after how their talk about sex had gone she shouldn't have expected anything else. "Your sex talk with Oogway musta been the worst one in known history," she observed as she dug into her second helping of sweets.

"It was," he confirmed, then took a bite from a cookie. "Which is why I would rather not revisit it."

"Suit yourself." She might as well go easy on him, since it was her last night there and all. "Y'know, I am really getting full."

"Perhaps you should stop eating, then," he suggested, raising his eyebrows as she practically shoved the contents of her plate into her mouth by the fistful.

"I can't help it," she managed to get out around a mouthful of pie. "It's just so good."

"You will be sorry," he lectured, though he wasn't exactly leading by example, the way he was chowing down. "You'll be up all night with a stomach ache."

"I already toldya I usually can't sleep the night before I set out somewhere," she pointed out, though his concern did remind her of something she'd been meaning to ask him. "By the way... You sleeping with me again?"

"If you would like me to, I will once again brave the squishy mess that is your bed."

"Better 'an that marble slab you sleep on," she shot back; she didn't understand how anyone could not like sleeping in a warm, soft, comfortable bed. Then again, it was pretty fitting that Shifu preferred something that felt more like one of the limestone blocks she used for printing than a bed.

"I will assume that was a 'yes.'" He reached out and snatched one of the cookies off her plate, presumably just to annoy her.

"Why the hell not? Let's go for a third night in a row." She finished off the last of the confections on her plate, surprised by how quickly she'd managed to devour everything.

"By the way, while I have you sluggish and happy, I would like to point out that you never told me where you are going." He eyed her as she leaned back in her chair, resting her hands on her bloated stomach.

To be honest, she couldn't think of a good reason not to tell him. "Well, if I weren't in a hurry to get the hell outta China, I woulda liked to pass through Sichuan and Tibet," she started off, because she wanted to express her disappointment to someone. "I passed through northern Sichuan when I first came to the country, and I woulda liked to see more of the province- especially the cooking. And Tibet is just fantastic."

"You know, I am from northern Sichuan," he replied, to her surprise.

"Really? You're from a region known for its spicy food?" She took a moment to contemplate the irony of the situation.

"Yes, go ahead and laugh at me," he huffed, apparently not quite as amused as she was. "So which route are you planning to take out of China, then?"

"Well, seeing as I should pass over as few borders as possible, even where provinces are concerned, I'm gonna head west through Guizhou and Yunnan, then straight into India." She could see that he was getting ready to say something, but she held up a hand to stop him. "I know what you're gonna say, that Yunnan's bordered by Myanmar, but not entirely- a small portion of India borders the northwest corner of the province, so I'll be taking that route. From there I could either stay in India or pass through Nepal, and seeing as at that point I won't hafta worry about the Chinese authorities anymore, I might just do that. I always wanted to see Nepal, y'know, hike through the Himalayas. That's what makes it relatively easy to pass through the border undetected, all those mountains."

He blinked at her, looking somewhat surprised. "I was actually not going to say anything about Myanmar. I was going to say that your obsession with curry has officially gone too far."

She gave him a light smack on the arm. "I'm not going to India just for the curry!" Although it was a compelling reason. "They have a very rigid caste system there that I plan to criticize until I am either banished or sentenced to execution."

"Sounds promising," he replied sarcastically. "And then what?"

"I dunno." She shrugged, stumped on that part. "I assume it wouldn't be for another few years, so I haven't thought that far ahead. I might be able to get on a ship sailing further west, or I could go north through Pakistan. I mean, best case scenario I'd be able to sneak on a ship traveling through the Gulf of Aden and up into the Red Sea, then I could hop off in Egypt and catch a ship sailing outta Port Said. That'd be the fastest, most direct route to the Mediterranean. From there I could go to Turkey, Greece, or back to Sicily."

"No, you haven't put any thought into this at all," he commented, a healthy amount of sarcasm still in his voice.

"Well I was just stating the possibilities," she pointed out. "It's not like I got a solid plan."

"You boggle the mind." He stood up with a groan, rubbing at his stomach. "Meanwhile, I need to lie down before I burst," he informed her, sounding very much like an old man.

She decided not to point that out to him. "I'll catch up. I just wanna sit here for a little while."

"If you insist." He actually left her alone without any argument, which in itself was mind-boggling.

She sat for a while, looking around at the kitchen and taking it all in: the overabundance of dinnerware, the warm tones of the wood, the high-set shelves that were obviously meant for hiding snacks from any other interested parties. The kitchen seemed to have a character of its own, one that was warm and inviting, as any good kitchen should be. If she had grown attached to any place at all in the past three years, it was this particular room. She'd felt at home in it from the very first time she stepped through the door, and for the next three months her life had seemed to revolve around the room. Not that she had any problem with that.

She was going to miss this kitchen, as strange as it sounded. It was more than just a place where she cooked; it was a place that held some of her fondest memories. From Tai Lung's growth chart on the wall next to the door straight on down to the scorch marks in the oven, the place held evidence of the life she'd lived at the Jade Palace. She supposed a more spiritual person might say that as long as the kitchen was there, she would be there... In spirit, or something. She didn't believe in that, of course. She did like to believe, though, that the room would remind Shifu and Tai Lung of her. Just as she would be reminded of them whenever she slept on a bed that was way too hard, or saw a floor that spat fire. She paused to wonder, briefly, if she would ever see one of those again.

The train of thought she was on was getting depressing, so she decided to give it a rest and head to bed, where Shifu was probably already snoring like a beast. She hoped she didn't have too much trouble keeping him up until she was ready to fall asleep- or all night, if necessary. Not that it wouldn't be awkward, what with them sleeping together and not actually sleeping together and all, but it was better than laying awake on her own all night. Perhaps she was being selfish, though, in putting her own desire to have someone to talk to ahead of his need for a good night's sleep. She laughed a little bit at that thought; she was really going soft.

---

Shifu paced in front of the door to Lin's room, waiting for her to emerge from the kitchen. Despite her insistence that it was absolutely impossible for her to stay in China, he was planning to make one more bid at keeping her there. And this was as good a time as any, what with her contented mood and all the tension between them having been recently aired out. And he knew exactly what he was going to say, something he should have said to begin with.

He jumped as he turned to continue his pacing, only to come face to face with Lin. "Ah!"

"Yeah, I react pretty much the same way whenever I see you, too," she grumbled, picking at her teeth with one nail. Despite that action, she for some reason was more beautiful than he ever remembered seeing her; she was practically glowing.

"There is something I have been meaning to ask you," he rushed out, afraid the moment might pass.

"Hurry it up, then," she replied, patting her belly. "I got a whole lotta gas."

"As you can imagine, this is quite difficult for me," he went on, yet she seemed completely unfazed. "You know very well that the last thing I want is to lose you."

"Yeah, I know," she sighed, her tough exterior softening a little bit. "I don't wanna lose you, either."

"Lin, I know you have said again and again that you won't stay here, but..." He paused to take her hands in his. "I want you to be my wife."

She stared back at him for a while, and he thought that she might get angry and walk away, or at the very least laugh at him. Instead, though, she threw her arms around him. "Oh, Shifu, you idiot! That's all I ever really wanted!"

"It is?" He had to admit, it was a surprising turn of events.

"Of course! Ever since I laid eyes on that handsome visage of yours-"

"Wait, visage?" He furrowed his brow, confused. "There is something strange about this," he informed her.

"We're gonna have lotsa babies," she replied, ignoring him. "And we'll teach 'em all kung fu. And I'll cook for you every single day, and at night we'll make passionate love. At least five times."

"You're mocking me, aren't you?" he asked warily, attempting to free himself from her grip; however, he was unable to wrench himself out of her arms.

"Alright, then, six times." With that, she pulled him into a very deep, passionate kiss, and it got him to thinking that perhaps she was being sincere. "Y'know what else?" she breathed when she pulled away.

"Wh-what?" he stuttered out, dazed.

"You are such an old man," she accused, suddenly sounding exasperated.

"Wait- what?" He was definitely missing something in this entire exchange.

"Get up!" she snapped, letting go of him to give his shoulder a push.

"But I am up, I am standing right here," he argued, unsure of what she meant.

"Wake up, dummy," she insisted, then slapped him across the face.

Shifu frowned up at Lin as he was jolted awake, rubbing at his stinging cheek. "Did you just smack me?" He sat up from where he'd settled on the floor next to her mound of pillows and pushed her blanket aside. He noticed that she was already dressed for bed- which she had probably done while he'd dozed.

"Well, you weren't waking up," she said by way of defending her actions. "And you were dreaming, too- I could tell by the way your ears were twitching."

"It was a wonderful dream," he sighed wistfully. "Until you ruined it." He paused to glare at her, despite the fact that his good dream had been about her to begin with.

"Whatever," she easily dismissed. "Meanwhile, what're you doing on the floor?"

"Well, since I find your bed so uncomfortable I thought I could sleep here and you could sleep on those pillows. It is what civilized people call a compromise."

"Never heard of it," she teased, then literally crawled over him to get to her bed.

He blushed and tried not to think about the fact that she was, however briefly, in his lap. "Should I put out the lantern?" he asked as he watched her settle in.

"Not yet." She continued to fluff pillows, readjust the blankets, and generally roll around while he sat and watched her with increasing impatience.

It wasn't long before he became fed up. "Will you just lie still already?"

"Fine," she grumbled, finally settling down. "You can put the lantern out, now."

"Thank you," he sighed, then leaned over and blew out the flame. "Goodnight." He lay down, pulled the blanket up to his chest, and closed his eyes.

Then he heard her sigh and once more change positions, and he opened them again. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see that she was wide awake, her hands clasped together on her stomach while she stared at the ceiling. He didn't think she noticed him watching her, but he knew that regardless of whether she thought he was attempting to sleep or not she was going to say something.

And, just as he'd predicted, she let out a small cough and spoke, still staring at the ceiling. "Can I ask you a question? And don't do that thing where you say I already asked a question with that question, 'cause it's annoying."

He rolled his eyes at her, but made no comment on her assumption that he would give her an annoying reply. "As long as you are not going to ask whether I am asleep or not, go ahead."

"Okay." She sounded hesitant, even though she'd been the one to start the conversation. He also noted that she kept her gaze studiously fixed on the ceiling, a good indicator that she was going to be serious, for once, rather than poke fun at him. "Does it bother you that I don't wanna have sex?"

He stared at her, surprised by the sudden question; although, they were in bed together, so he supposed there was no better time to ask. "Why do you ask? Do I seem bothered?" He hoped, especially after hearing about her less than stellar history with men, that he hadn't mistakenly given that impression.

"Not particularly," she admitted, though she sounded even more disconcerted than before. "Never mind," she muttered, turning onto her side to face away from him.

"Wait a minute." He honestly did not understand how she could think it was alright to bring up such a sensitive issue, then completely drop it. "Why did you bring it up if you did not want to talk about it? You're embarrassed? Because if you are, there are many more embarrassing things in this world than our current conversation, and you have already put me through most of them. And this is coming from someone who does not even like to talk about sex." And, to be honest, if it hadn't been their last night together, he would have dropped the conversation as she'd asked; as it was, he would rather go through the humiliation of risking a small penis joke with her than leave any loose ends between them.

She once again surprised him by blurting out, "You wanna have sex, right? Not in general, I mean. With me. In particular."

Shifu blinked at her back, hoping she would at least turn over so he could look her in the eye, but no such luck. "I... Do not know where this is headed," he admitted sheepishly. "Are you... Do you want to... Um... Well, you know. With me?"

"I asked you first," she grumbled childishly.

He glared at her, exasperated by the entire conversation; he had no clue what in the world she was thinking, and he was getting a little tired of trying to guess. "Yes, I want... You. In particular."

"Oh." She sounded surprised, for some reason; it wasn't as if he'd kept it a secret all this time.

"And you...?" he pressed, somewhat annoyed by her lack of response.

"Yeah. I mean... Ditto."

He waited for her to finally face him, or at least do something, but she still refused to physically interact with him on any level. "...So should I... Get undressed or something?"

"No!" she snapped, and finally turned over, though only to smack him on the arm. "That wasn't a freaking proposition, I was just wondering."

"You could have said that earlier," he muttered, disappointed and relieved at the same time.

"So then you are bothered that I don't wanna have sex," she added, a frown planted firmly on her face.

"Not necessarily." He supposed he would have to explain that, though. "For one, it is one less thing to be nervous about. After all, I am not exactly what one would call seasoned in the art of love."

"Yeah, that's true," she readily agreed.

He took a moment to glare at her again, then went on. "For another, while I would like to make love to you, it is not exactly imperative. I know that you love me, and I love you... And that is what truly matters."

She stared back at him for a while after his answer, and he thought that she might have been touched by his honest tenderness and affection. "...Really? 'Make love?'" she mocked.

He should have known better. "Oh, get bent."

She snorted at his use of her favorite fall-back, then shifted closer and laid one hand on his chest. "It's not you, y'know," she reassured, and he felt like a humiliated teenager at the entire conversation.

"I think we established that with your heartfelt proclamation of 'ditto,'" he pointed out sarcastically. "But that still leaves the question of why you want to remain celibate."

"I dunno," she sighed, but he had a feeling that she did know. "It's dumb," she amended.

"Tell me, or else I will tickle you without mercy." He flexed his fingers in plain sight, just to make the threat more real.

"You're such an ass," she huffed. "I just don't feel ready."

He waited for her to go on, but that was apparently everything she'd been planning to say. "...Okay."

"I know," she rushed out, clearly embarrassed. "I know it sounds stupid. And I know people always say you're ready when you find the right person, but that's a load of crap. I mean, you're the right person if there ever was one, and I'm still not ready. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will be. Maybe I'm just too dysfunctional for sex."

"If it makes you feel any better, I know what you mean. You see, I... Uhm..." He supposed that after everything Lin had told him, he could give up some information about himself. "Well, the first time I... You know..." He tried not to blush in embarrassment at the subject, but failed. "...I wasn't ready."

"Oh." She blinked up at him, clearly caught off-guard by the confession.

"I doubt many people are, their first time," he added, blushing all the more at the way she stared at him.

"That sounds about right," she admitted. "To be honest, I don't got a problem with the concept or anything. I mean, I've done enough masturbating to get a sense-"

"There is no need for you to continue," he interrupted, clearing his throat uncomfortably; the last thing he needed was some sordid tale of her young experimentation to simultaneously arouse and irritate him.

"Anyway, I guess the point is..." She paused to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."

He wrapped one arm around her, basking in the warmth of the moment; he knew her well enough to also know that it would be brief and he should appreciate it while he still could.

"Besides," she added as she shifted onto her stomach and used his shoulder as a pillow, "you wouldn't've lasted very long, anyway."

"At times like these I simply have to wonder how you stayed single for so long," he grunted, blushing once more as she arched her back in a stretch right up against him. "Would you stop that?"

"Stop what?" she asked, oblivious to his embarrassment.

"Rubbing against me after we've just discussed sex."

"Oh, sorry," she apologized with complete insincerity. "I didn't realize I'd set off your prude alarm by stretching my back." She emphasized her annoyance with a painful squeeze to his stomach.

"I believe that signals the end of that discussion." It was a mark of how much he was going to miss her that he didn't even bat her hand away. "Do you think you will ever come back to the Valley?" he blurted out, since they were being open and frank with one another.

"What, so you can bang me?" she shot back.

"No," he grumbled; he didn't know why he expected any sort of emotion out of her.

She laughed a little bit, then leaned up to kiss him. When she pulled away she actually answered him, shockingly enough. "Maybe our paths will cross again some day. Maybe not. We'll just hafta wait and see."

"I certainly hope so," he sighed, then kissed her back.

Her compulsion to ruin each and every tender moment between them remained strong, though. "Just don't expect me to still be a virgin when next we meet."

"So this is what all those poets meant when they said 'true love never dies.'"

"Don't be ridiculous," she replied, then gave him another kiss on the cheek. "There's no such thing as a love that never dies."

"Words of comfort, to be sure." He had to admit, it did hurt to know that she didn't think she would still love him a few years down the road, but then again she believed the same of him. "So is that all?"

"...I guess so," she admitted reluctantly.

"What is it?" He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to go on.

"Nothing," she sighed. "Goodnight." And then, out of nowhere, she added, "I love you."

He stared back at her; he still was not used to her showing affection at all, let alone saying she loved him aloud, so she might as well have grown wings and flown off. He managed to snap out of it soon enough, though. "I love you, too." Then he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Sleep tight."

"Hah," she replied, but made no further comment as she cuddled up against him and squeezed him as if he were a stuffed toy.

And he let her, because for some sick reason he liked it. He smiled to himself as he enjoyed the warmth of her body against his and began to drift off.

"Hey, are you asleep yet?"

He cracked his eyes open and squinted down at her with a frown. "I am wide awake," he grumbled, "now."

"Okay, good." She paused, as if she was not quite sure of what to say next.

That was when he had an epiphany, one that he should have had long before then. "You are not going to let me sleep tonight, are you?" He knew his fate was sealed when she answered his question with an amused, evil-sounding cackle.

---

"Master Oogway, what're you doing?" Tai Lung stood in the doorway of the kitchen, staring in pure and utter confusion at the old turtle, who was currently cracking eggs into a bowl.

"I am cooking breakfast, my boy," he answered cheerfully, then poured oil into a pan on the stove.

"And you went out and got eggs?" While Tai Lung knew that Lin was leaving that morning, he never would have expected Master Oogway, of all people, to get up early to make breakfast. Then again, he had no way of knowing whether or not Oogway even slept at all. For all he knew, the kung fu master simply meditated and absorbed energy from the universe... Or something.

"I thought the occasion warranted a little something special." He gave the eggs a quick stir with his long claws (hopefully they were clean), then poured them into the hot pan.

"I didn't know you were so happy to see Lin go." He sat down at his regular spot at the table and watched as Oogway fried the scrambled eggs with rice and peppers.

"Of course I am not happy to see her leave, but I am sure that she would prefer us to look on the bright side of things. After all, every end is a new beginning." He flipped the concoction with expert skill, shaking the pan. "Besides, it is best to start off a long journey with plenty of protein."

"Yeah, we wouldn't want her to get hungry while she's running from the law," he commented, rolling his eyes; he was pretty sure Lin had bigger concerns than whether or not her breakfast contained enough protein.

"I understand. Sometimes when we are upset and do not know how to show it, we turn to anger and defensiveness. But we must not let our anger blind us to what is most important in life."

Tai Lung took a moment to wonder how Master Shifu had been able to stand the old man's rambling lectures for so long. "I'll contemplate that, Master." Personally, he didn't see why he shouldn't be angry; Lin was leaving, and she probably wasn't going to miss any of them that much.

"G'morning," Lin yawned as she chose just that moment to walk into the kitchen alongside Shifu, who looked exhausted. It was pretty obvious that they'd spent the night together.

"You guys look tired," he observed. "What were you doing, having sex or something?"

Master Shifu had been about to sit down, but at Tai Lung's comment he completely missed his chair and fell on the floor. "What?" he snapped as his face began to turn red. "I thought you didn't know what sex was!"

He was probably going to get punished for that question, but it had almost been worth it to see Shifu fall on his butt like that. "I asked Lin. She said it was when two adults get together and hug really hard."

He turned to Lin as he stood back up. "You are so lucky he used the word 'hug!'"

Lin seemed completely unfazed by the entire exchange. "You are paranoid and prudish," she replied haughtily, then turned away from him to go take a look at what Oogway was making.

"Do you want me to punish you, Tai Lung?" Shifu asked, then sat down and actually managed to hit the seat. "Because I would have no trouble fulfilling such a request."

"Oh, give it a rest for now," Lin called from where she was hovering over Oogway as if the meal he was preparing would be her last one. "We're gonna eat breakfast and pretend we don't got a care in the world, then we're gonna say goodbye and I'm getting outta here. Got that?"

"Wait a minute," Tai Lung spoke up, frowning at her assertion. "You're leaving right after breakfast?"

"Yeah, I can't afford to lose any daylight. Once night falls it gets too dark to get a fire built or make camp, and traveling at night's a lot more dangerous 'an doing it by day." She finally left Oogway alone long enough to get some bowls out and help him serve breakfast. "I'm sorry, kid, but this is how it's gotta be."

He didn't know why he was getting upset just because she was leaving a couple of hours earlier than he'd thought; maybe, deep down, he'd still believed there was a chance she might stay, up until that very moment. "Yeah, I get it," he replied quietly.

"Let us just enjoy our meal together," Shifu jumped in, taking a bite from his bowl. "It is quite good."

"I am glad to hear it." Oogway slowly lowered himself into his seat; he'd even served himself up a small portion. "I believe it is Lin who taught us that good food with good company can feed more than just our bellies."

"Oh, I didn't teach anyone a damn thing," she dismissed as she joined them at the table. "Well, I mighta taught the goody-two-shoes here a thing or two about drinking, but he's hardly a sponge when it comes to learning."

Tai Lung just picked at his food while Master Shifu acted offended and Lin and Oogway laughed at him. He wasn't about to act like nothing was wrong just because it would make everyone else feel comfortable; he was never going to see Lin again and she... Well, she wasn't exactly his friend anymore, not after she'd punished him. But she loved him, apparently. He probably loved her, too, if he could be any judge. He really wasn't sure what she was.

"You got some egg stuck on your cheek," Lin interrupted his thoughts, then reached across Shifu with her napkin to wipe his face clean.

"Hey, stop it," he grumbled, pushing the offending cloth away and wiping at his cheek with the back of his hand. "I can get it myself."

"Sorry. Guess I got a little carried away."

"It's okay." He finished up the rest of his breakfast in silence and ignored the conversation of the adults around him. They obviously just didn't get it. He had no brothers, no sisters, no friends... And now no Lin, either. Not that he needed any of that, anyway; he was a kung fu warrior, after all. Still, it would have been nice.

He only barely noticed that everyone else was starting to clear the table, so he contributed his own half-eaten meal to the pile of dirty dishes, and Lin and Oogway were still ganging up and teasing Shifu like always, as if it were a normal day. It was maddening, the way everyone just kept ignoring the fact that in only a few more minutes, Lin was going to leave, and they were never going to see her again.

"Hey, you didn't finish your breakfast," Lin suddenly observed when she passed his dish over to Shifu, undoubtedly planning to let him take care of the cleaning.

"I'm not really that hungry." Besides, if he was going to be the Dragon Warrior one day and live off of dew and the energy of the universe, he was going to need to start practicing. "Anyway, I thought you didn't want to waste any daylight."

"Tai Lung," Shifu warned, but Lin calmed him with a poke in the belly.

"As harsh as that was, the kid's right. I ain't some super-fast kung fu running machine like you, so I gotta head out now if I wanna make it to that really long-ass bridge before dark."

"It is called the Thread of Hope," he corrected her, rubbing at his belly. "And I have something for you before you go."

"You can give it to me out on the porch," she replied, then walked out of the kitchen, presumably to get her things, while Shifu ran off to get his gift, whatever that happened to be.

"Well, I suppose we will wait outside," Oogway stated needlessly, and herded Tai Lung through the kitchen door and out onto the barracks porch.

It was a beautiful day, of course, without a cloud in the sky. The summer heat hadn't fully taken hold yet, so it was the ideal spring day, with a warm sun and a cool breeze; in other words, perfect traveling conditions. "It doesn't even feel like she's leaving," Tai Lung blurted out, embarrassed when Oogway looked a little surprised at the sentiment. "The way everyone's acting, it's like she's just gonna come back in another week or so."

"I believe the sentiment is that we were glad to have known her," the old turtle replied wisely, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And you never know what path life will take. She certainly will not return in a week, but perhaps further down the road."

"Sure," he replied skeptically.

"Alright, I'm ready!" Lin exclaimed as she burst through the door; she had practically nothing with her, just that one bag she'd been carrying the day she'd shown up at the Jade Palace. "Where's Pudge? Ah, well, I'll start the farewells, anyway." With that, she turned to Master Oogway and, in a shocking turn of events, she actually bowed to him. "I don't do that for just anyone," she pointed out as she straightened up.

"I know," Oogway replied warmly, smiling down at her. "Believe me when I say that you have left your mark here. You will not be forgotten."

"Ah, hell," she huffed, then provided yet another shock when she wrapped her arms around the old turtle in a hug. "I'll miss you, you big, smug, know-it-all."

"And I don't think that anyone will disagree when I say that this particular kettle is going to miss you as well, pot." He reached down to give her back a gentle pat, and when she pulled away she let out an embarrassed cough and squared her shoulders.

She turned to Tai Lung, and she looked like she was going to say something really mushy, but he was saved when Master Shifu finally made it out onto the porch to say his goodbyes. "Yeesh, what took you so long?" Lin shot at him, and in response he simply reached out and placed his old rain hat on her head.

Personally, Tai Lung didn't see why Shifu had felt the need to give her some ratty straw hat, but for some reason she seemed to like it.

"Thanks," she sighed, then pulled the hat off and let it hang on her back from its string.

"I thought you might need it, seeing as you lost yours some time ago." Of course their exchange was exceedingly awkward to watch to begin with, but Master Shifu just seemed to have a knack for making it all the more uncomfortable. "I, ahm... I want you to know that if you ever find yourself back in the valley that... That you will always have a place here. Even if it is one hundred years from now, you will still have a home here."

"That's sweet, but I somehow doubt I'm gonna live that long." She flicked him on the nose, and that was apparently it for their goodbyes, because she then turned to Tai Lung.

He crossed his arms, ready for her to talk out of her rear end like she always did, and tell him that life was tough and he should get used to it.

"Okay, kid, I'll giveya one last bit of advice before I go," she sighed, living up to his expectations. "It's something a friend of mine told me, seven long years ago."

"Yeah?" He was pretty interested, despite himself, but he still didn't uncross his arms.

"There might be a reason no one does it. Try anyway." She paused for dramatic effect while he stared down at her, confused. "Alright, so she was talking about setting a drink on fire and chugging it, but I think the phrase can be applied to a lotta stuff. Y'know, in life."

He tried to ignore Shifu pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation behind her. "Yeah, I guess it could," he conceded, though he would never be able to think of the phrase without also remembering its humble origins.

"I'm gonna miss you a whole lot, y'know," she added, a tenderness to her voice that he rarely ever heard. "Promise me that if you're not gonna remember anything good about me, you'll at least forget me."

"I guess I could try," he grumbled.

"Don't ever guess- know." She hugged him, even harder than she'd hugged Oogway if his inability to breathe was any indicator.

"Okay," he gasped, "I get it. I'll miss you, too." And for some reason, even though he was still angry, he meant it.

She finally let him go, then readjusted her bag and took a deep breath. "Well... This is goodbye," she addressed to all three of them. "So... Don't get into too much trouble without me. And for God's sake, one of you needs to learn how to cook. Anyway... Goodbye." And just like that, she walked away.

Tai Lung watched her walk away for a bit as a distinct feeling of abandonment washed over him. "...Shouldn't I be starting today's training?" But if he was going to be a kung fu master one day, he needed to learn to suck it up, as Lin would have said.

"Yes," Oogway agreed. "The morning is certainly not waiting for us." He stepped off the porch with Tai Lung, then turned back to Shifu, who was just staring out into space. "I will take Tai Lung to the training hall."

Shifu barely even nodded in response, he was so out of it.

Tai Lung kind of felt bad for him; despite his earlier nonchalance, Master Shifu seemed to be taking the whole turn of events pretty hard. He knew that would never be him, though. After all, he had kung fu, and kung fu would never let him down. Besides, Lin wouldn't have wanted him to sulk- not that he was planning to go around doing stuff that Lin would have wanted him to do.

---

Shifu tried not to think about how pathetic he probably looked at the moment; in fact, he wasn't thinking of very much at all. He just knew that Lin's goodbye to him had not been enough... He doubted any goodbye would ever be enough for him, but he needed to at least hear that this separation was just as difficult for her. She had barely said anything to him, and the most affectionate gesture she'd given him had been a flick to the nose. That was why he'd followed her out the front gates, and caught up to her right at the top of the thousand steps. "Lin, wait," he called out, even though he had no idea what else he was going to say.

She turned around, her eyebrows raised at him. "Did I forget something?" She actually seemed surprised to see him.

"No, I just... I wanted to... To say goodbye. Again." It sounded so ridiculous when he said it aloud. "You barely said a word to me back at the barracks," he attempted to justify.

"We spent all of last night together," she pointed out. "If last night wasn't a goodbye, I dunno what is."

He was about to argue more on the point, but she simply kissed him to shut him up.

"There's a goodbye kiss for you," she said when she pulled away. "Better?"

"I will miss you," he sighed, and wished for what was probably the thousandth time that he could keep her there.

She reached up and, surprisingly enough, she placed a hand tenderly on his cheek, as if she were about to say something beautiful and romantic. "Don't be a pussy, now," she scolded, her harsh language startling at such a time. "People count on you, y'know? Suck it up." She gave his cheek a light smack and shot him a wide grin, but the carefree happiness she was trying so desperately to convey wasn't quite present in her eyes.

"...Alright," he agreed, though he couldn't bring himself to smile back at her; he didn't understand how she could even muster a false smile under the circumstances, but then again, she had always been beyond his understanding. "Be safe," he managed to get out, even though he felt as though his throat might close up at any moment.

"Feh!" she dismissed easily, in her usual way. "Don't worry about me so much. I got my wits about me. Just you take care of the kid, okay?"

"Okay." He glanced back at the front gate, its cheerful bright red seeming out of place under the current circumstances. He wondered if Tai Lung was already training, and if Master Oogway was cheerfully instructing him, as if it were any other day at the Jade Palace. He wondered why, even after all the goodbyes, he was the only one who seemed to be having so much trouble letting go.

Somehow, she seemed to have known what was on his mind. "Hey," she said, her voice softening a bit. "You'll be fine."

He turned back to her, surprised to see the resolve in her expression; she truly did believe in those words. He supposed he at least owed it to her to believe in them, too. "I will," he agreed, and then, despite how many times he'd said it already, he said the most difficult word of all. "Goodbye."

She let out a bark of laughter, a grin spreading across her face again, and then she topped it all off by giving him a punch in the arm. "Y'know what? I'm sick of goodbyes," she informed him, then took a step back and readjusted her bag. "So how's about mixing it up a little?" She reached into her bag and fished about for a moment before finally producing a peach, most likely from the sacred peach tree of heavenly wisdom, which she shoved into his hands. "Don't shove this fruit up your ass, though," she advised. "Seeya!" With a casual wave of her hand, she turned and headed down the stairs, her shoulders shaking as she laughed.

Shifu stood there and watched her go, the peach in his hands the entire time, like the sentimental fool he was. He considered his vision to be quite good, though not nearly as good as his hearing, and so he was confident that, even when she was only a speck in the distance, his eyes had not failed him. What he saw must have been, without a doubt, completely accurate.

The entire time he'd watched her, for as far as he could see her until she disappeared into the morning mist, she had not looked back. Not even once.

---

"Ah, shit." Lin poked at her pile of timber with a long stick, snorting with frustration; it had taken her at least thirty minutes to start a fire, and now it was dwindling quickly. She searched through her bag for something dry to toss in the fire and keep it going long enough for her to search her surroundings for something more permanent. If she wasn't quick about it, she would run out of what little daylight she had left. She had just made it across the Thread of Hope, and though there were a few trees scattered here and there, the landscape was dominated by exposed dirt and patches of brown moss, so it would take some effort to find more fuel for the fire.

As she rifled through her bag her hand brushed against something that felt like paper, and she pulled it out to toss it into the tiny flames; however, she thought twice about it, for some reason. Though she normally didn't mind burning her own artwork and documents for the sake of a hot meal, she decided to unfold the paper and check to see what was on it, anyway. It was probably nothing.

What was supposed to be a quick glance at the paper turned into a long stare. At some point or another, she had drawn Shifu, Tai Lung, and Oogway sitting together under the peach tree- a scene she had most likely reproduced from the night they had watched fireworks. And somehow, even though she didn't even remember seeing it when she'd packed her bag, the simple ink drawing had made it into her bag. And somehow she hadn't found it until four days after her departure. It occurred to her that this was her only memento from the past three months, which was more than she had to show for the past eight or nine years of her life.

She wasn't sure how long she stared at the little paper, but when she finally glanced back up at the fire, it was nothing more than some slightly burnt and smoking sticks. Cursing, she stuffed the paper back into her bag and jumped up to try to restart the fire with her knife and some flint. "Start, you dumbass fire," she grumbled as she kept on trying to create some sparks that would catch; she would have killed for some dried grass at that moment.

After another twenty minutes, the sun was completely gone, though it was still casting some dim light over the wasteland, and Lin had still not managed to restart her fire. She looked over at her bag, the paper coming to mind, then turned back to the smoking mess in front of her. With another low curse, she reached up into her sleeve, pulled out her ink brush, and cut the dry horse hairs from the lacquered handle, dropping them onto the fire wood. A fire caught on them with her third set of sparks, and she leaned back, letting out a heavy sigh of relief. She didn't want to waste any more time, though, and got to work looking for some more kindling. After scrounging up some twigs and a couple of dried leaves, she sat back down to cook dinner over the most expensive fire she'd ever built.

The motions were familiar to her, and she mindlessly cooked and ate her meal, paying no particular attention to anything apart from the task at hand; it had been a long time since she'd been able to completely shut down her mind, though it did have its disadvantages. Before she knew it, she had eaten and the sky was dark and filled with stars. She normally would enjoy such a clear view of the night sky, but she just stared blankly into the fire, which was once again dwindling.

The drawing suddenly crossed her mind again, and she decided to get one more look at it before her fire was completely burnt out. It wasn't her best work, to be sure. She really should have burned it; she didn't know what had possessed her to use an expensive ink brush instead. Still, it was comforting, in a way. It was a reminder that, for a brief time, she'd experienced a part of life that she knew she could never actually have- that she hadn't even known she'd wanted, up until the past couple of months. And she had learned one more lesson to help her on the long road ahead. "Twenty-two years down," she sighed. "Forty or so to go."

It was then that something completely unexpected happened to her. Eight years ago, she had made a solemn vow that she would never cry for anyone, least of all herself. It had been so long that she'd started to think that even if she tried, she wouldn't have been able to shed a tear. Yet her eyes were wet and stinging, and soon tears were pouring down her face as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Her throat was sore and she could feel mucus building up in her nose, but she couldn't stop herself.

And, even though the fire had died out and it was too dark to see, she held onto that drawing as she curled up on the ground. "Well... Goodnight," she sighed, to no one in particular.

---

"Tai Lung!" Shifu walked out onto the barracks porch, his ears pricked in the direction of the training hall not so much for a response as simply some auditory sign of life. However, he was not happy to find that all he heard from the training hall was complete silence. It was a lovely, sunny day, so it was entirely likely that Tai Lung had become distracted during meditation and wandered off; it wouldn't have been the first time in the past couple of months.

He shook his head to himself as he set out to find his errant son; it had been two months already since Lin's departure, and yet he still hadn't gotten used to not having her around. He still turned, thinking for a split second that it was her, when he saw movement from the corner of his eye. He still expected to see a light in the kitchen when he passed by at night, still expected to see her picking peaches when he looked up into the branches of the peach tree. He even sometimes thought he heard her voice in the marketplace, laughing.

If Tai Lung missed her at all, he certainly didn't show it. He simply went about his daily routine training as hard as ever. He no longer avoided Shifu at all costs, though, and readily held conversations at meals, though there were times when he needed just a little bit of prompting. He even joined Master Oogway in the old turtle's morning Tai Chi exercises. And he still fidgeted just as much as he always had during his meditation, though that may have been due to "growing pains," as Lin had called them. The boy had certainly been growing by leaps and bounds, and in spite of himself Shifu found that he couldn't resist keeping up the growth chart she had started in the kitchen.

Shifu had begun to do a number of things like continuing the growth chart, things that he would have never expected of himself; little things, of course. He drank tea at every single meal, and even late into the night, he ate dessert (usually fresh fruit, despite Tai Lung's constant requests that they have something a little more decadent), and he'd even begun to cook. Just a bit. He had attempted noodles the other night that he thought hadn't been bad. And every time he picked up some new candles, he always checked to make sure they weren't scented.

"Master!" Tai Lung's voice suddenly broke him out of his train of thought, and he realized that he had wandered along the path toward the peach tree that the vegetable garden had been planted along.

He had avoided the small plot of land like the plague since Lin's departure; he honestly didn't want to give himself an excuse to conjure up any more memories than the ones that already followed him at every turn. Besides, he was already filled with an overwhelming feeling of disappointment every time he walked into the kitchen only to find it completely empty; he didn't need to feel the same every time he walked by the garden, only to see that barren patch of dirt sitting there.

However, it appeared as though Tai Lung had not been doing the same; in fact, he was bent over in the garden, a basket at his side. Amazingly, the garden had flourished, most likely because Tai Lung had apparently been taking care of it. The basket was already filled with a number of vegetables- carrots, radishes, cabbage, onions, and a number of things that he wouldn't have been able to name on sight. "It's the first harvest," Tai Lung informed him excitedly, picking a long green vegetable from a vine and dropping it into the basket. "I think that's some kind of squash," he said.

"You've been gardening?" Shifu asked absently, approaching; it was hard to believe that the plot that had once been a barren span of dirt was suddenly so bursting with life.

"Uh... Yeah." Apparently this was why he had been wandering off so often. "It'd be a waste not to. And look at all the stuff that grew! We won't have to go down to the market for a while, not with all this." He leaned back on his haunches, surveying the garden with a deeply satisfied expression on his face.

Shifu watched him a moment, at a loss for words. It amazed him to see Tai Lung so content when he himself had been, for lack of a better word, moping. "And you are... Happy?"

"Well, yeah, why not?" He reached up and wiped his brow with the back of his hand. "I mean, I was worried that none of these plants would even grow, and now look at 'em!"

"Yes, your efforts certainly have not been wasted," Shifu agreed, but kept his eyes on Tai Lung. "What I meant was... You don't..." He wasn't exactly sure how to bring up the subject, since they had rarely talked about Lin since her departure. "I just thought, ah..."

"What?" Tai Lung looked up at him, and the expression on his face was startling in its nature; his eyes were narrowed, and one side of his lip was curled up, just as Lin had used to do. "You thought I was going off to cry about Lin?"

He nodded mutely in reply, still stunned by the similarity he had witnessed.

"Well, I miss her and all... But it's like that thing Master Oogway always says. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, or something. Right?"

"Right," he agreed, clearing his throat. Perhaps he had been mistaken in bringing such a thing up. "So. You are... Harvesting?"

"Yep," Tai Lung confirmed, and then waited expectantly for Shifu to respond.

However, he couldn't really think of anything to say. Tai Lung had shown such an unexpected level of maturity that he felt a little useless, actually. Perhaps he had underestimated his son, or perhaps he'd simply been too stuck in the past.

Tai Lung finally broke the silence, albeit hesitantly. "Would you, uhm, like to join me, Master?"

Shifu stared down at him for a moment, contemplating the offer. Then, with a sigh, he knelt down in the dirt. "...Sure, why not?"

---

A/N: And there you have it. The end! Not really, though. There will be an epilogue after this, but I swear that that will be the end. After all, you guys still have to find out what becomes of Lin.

Also, apologies for the false sex scene, but it really wouldn't be a humor fic without one. And, of course Ping's noodle shop had to be in there somewhere, so I hope everyone enjoyed the cameo.

One last thing of note: along with the epilogue I'll be posting a link to a "special features" type blog post, because I needed to do something with all the material I liked that didn't make it into the fic... So keep your eyes peeled for that, as well.

Next up: You'll see. ;)