Hey all! It's time for another installment of Those Daily Things! About half of this chapter was written and/or conceived by good mate Michael R. you would probably know him as the enigmatic, impossibly annoying Redmond. If you don't think he is impossibly annoying, oh you'll see.

"Come and step inside,

Hope you like the ride

Take my hand let's go

Good to be with you,

In this crazy zoo,

Come to this place with its funny sense of space

And we'll work, and we'll play, and we'll do it every day;

We'll be bad, we'll be good, welcome to the Strangerhood"

- Crazy Zoo, a song performed by a group called Trocadero.

Those Daily Things

Chapter 6: Sora's Humiliation

Sora woke up the following morning to a series of giggles from numerous girls, and a chorus of laughter from some boys. He opened his eyes to see Kairi, Namine, Selphie, Olette, Larxene, Riku, and of course Roxas, were all gathered around his bed. He sat up. His clothes felt tight, and he found he was wearing a bra stuffed with tissues. He looked at his body, finding that he was dressed in a standard girl's uniform, with skirt and all. He had a killer headache, most likely from the consumption of alcohol after the contest itself had finished. There wasn't much alcohol, but Sora had a shit alcohol tolerance. "I'll never drink again…" He muttered to himself.

"How are you fairing, Sora?" Yuffie leaned down to him and asked. Roxas (who had beaten Sora) and Leon (Who Sora had beaten in a humiliating and infuriating way) were taking particular pleasure in his appearance. "This is your humiliation for losing. You're dressed in that schoolgirl uniform all day."

Sora smirked an evil smirk scarily similar to Sephiroth's. "So what? It's Sunday. Weekend. No classes, I can stay in my room all day."

Now it was Roxas' turn to grin. "Oh, I'm afraid not. If you'll take a look at that special weekend event calendar we have…" Sora turned his head to look at it, and there was one thing one this Sunday: Special Lesson – Sexual Education. Sora smacked his head with his hand. Of all the days, why today?

-----

Sora walked into the classroom, this was quickly followed by a break-out of giggles and whispers. Roxas smirked at Sora who was now finding a dark desk near the back of the classroom where he would hopefully not be seen. "Silence everyone!" announced Mr. Barret Wallace, head of Technology department. "Please take your seats. Today I have the pleasure of welcoming Mr. Caboose to speak to us today about sex!" continued Mr. Wallace.

"Good morning everyone, my name is Caboose and as Barret just announced, I am here to talk to you about something that people talk about a lot, is kind of funny sometimes and can be very embarrassing; sex."

At this point, Roxas almost burst into laughter, not because Caboose had said the word sex (which can be a very funny word for 14-year-old male) but because his eyes were moving slowly and threateningly in Sora' direction.

Mr. Caboose continued, "I am not here today to speak to you about the bodily function of sex, which I'm sure you all know from one source or another, but rather the confusing psychological side. We shall with a prospect that will confront everyone at point: homosexuality." Sora slowly sank below as all heads, as two eyes for each, rotated in his direction. However, even though Mr. Caboose didn't notice him, His under-the-desk position was given away by his hair.

"SORA JUMPEI LEONHART!" Mr. Wallace yelled with the intensity of a thousand burning suns, "PAY ATTENTION! Mr. Caboose, I believe you said you needed a volunteer – here's your man." Sora tried to sink again, but couldn't, as Mr. Caboose in his blue Hawaiian shirt, immediately called him up to the front.

As soon as he stood up, someone in the front row did a wolf whistle and another person said, "Hey gorgeous, when do you knock off?" Sora ignored the comments, trying to look to Roxas for courage, but all he did we was point and laugh. Namine was busy drawing, it didn't take Einstein to figure out what. Kairi was telling all her friends, or lying to them, about a 'break up' she and Sora had, and that Kairi 'doesn't even know who he is'.

It took Mr. Caboose a second to notice what was wrong with Sora's… 'Outfit' but when he did noticed, he laughed and said, "Looks like I picked the right person. Thank you, Mr. Wallace." Barret Wallace just grinned evilly – he would have Sephiroth begging for mercy on the floor with that grin. Sora scowled at Mr. Wallace, but at the same time wished he hadn't locked Barret in his office for the 6th time last week.

"Well, we have one volunteer." Mr. Caboose said, "So it's time to choose another. Sora, I'm afraid you will doing roleplay acting in both the boys homosexuality act and the girls homosexuality act, because you can't seem to decide what you want to be."

"This school has appalling moral standards." Sora thought as Caboose chose a smirking Roxas for the other role.

"Now," Mr. Caboose said, "We have Roxas saying the something that is perfectly innocent yet is sometimes mistaken. Go, Roxas."

Roxas thought for a second, then said, "Do you love me as a friend?" Several of the girls let out desiring moans, while Namine hissed at them.

"Excellent!" Mr. Caboose said, then continued. "Then we have Sora here saying something that would normally be considered completely and blatantly queer – I mean… Uh… Of course, homosexual. Go, Sora."

But Sora didn't get to choose his line – Barret gave him a note to read. "I have a really big boner and I want you to… touch it." He read grudgingly, and the class burst into full-on, uncontrolled laughter. Roxas wasn't holding back. He looked to Kairi hopefully, but she was in hysterics – dying of laughter.

When Mr. Caboose stopped laughing, he re-composed himself for silence. After two minutes, everyone was silent. "Now for the girls role-play – we of course have Sora here, and for the girls we have a young girl named Stephanie. Now Sora is going to be the example for something innocent yet mistaken."

The class groaned in disappointment. Sora finally got to choose his line. "I've been your best friend for a few years now and… Do you love me?" Some of the guys snickered, but the girls nodded understandingly.

"Good, Sora. Now for Stephanie, your obviously homosexual line." Stephanie drew up close to Sora for effect, placing her hand on his behind to add 'realism'. "You know," She said, "I think we're more than best friends, and I think we should be more than best friends."

Mr. Caboose clapped at this. "Excellent, excellent. You may now both return to your desks." Kairi, glaring death at Stephanie, requested one of her friends to go to another desk, so that Sora could sit comfortably next to Kairi. Stephanie was smirking at them from across the room, so Kairi glared more and put her arm around Sora. Sora felt comfortable and started paying attention. "Now, it is completely normal for growing teenagers to have a sexual fantasy about the same gender…" Sora tuned out after that.

-----

After the class, Sora walked around the halls, still getting giggles and looks from both genders on all sides of him. Then suddenly Riku came up to him, singing a song he didn't quite hear. "Hey Sora." Riku said, abruptly ending his song. "You know that Stephanie girl?" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I think I like her."

This sent ripples of shock through Sora, who quickly looked at his watch. "Oh look! It's lunchtime!" the brunette said, smiling politely.

"Oh, don't be stupid, Sora.' Riku said, rolling his eyes. "I know you're just saying that to get away from me."

Sora looked almost insulted. "No look – It's quarter to 1! I'm fucking hungry!" Riku swore – Sora was right. They ran to the lunch hall together.

Meanwhile, Stephanie was plotting, scheming, conniving, schemiving, whatever. That Sora guy was hot! Only problem: He had a girlfriend who was extremely possessive, quite popular, and potentially deadly. He had an idea. Cloud wasn't at the dorm war last night, and he was a real stickler for uniform. She would tip off Cloud about Sora's uniform, and then after he left the office, she would abduct him, and she would keep him prisoner of love for a few days. She walked into Cloud's office.

Sora had just finished his burger when Tom came up beside them and sat down on the table. "Well, if it isn't my bridgeclimbers. Hey Riku how you doing?" Riku, in the middle of a milkshake, simply waved. "Nice outfit Sora. I guess that's your humiliation For losing the dorm war finals?"

Sora nodded. "How did you know?" Tom laughed. "I was in the finals against Leon in the very first tournament – he beat me at a one on one game of dodgeball. My humiliation was that I couldn't go to the toilet for a whole day of classes. It was ugly." The 5 teens just nodded. "Now, I'm sure you're aware, to celebrate the glorious release of Halo 3, I'm having an absolutely massive online game – I have 10 rooms all over the school, each one will have 3 Xbox 360s and 3 Televisions inside, and it's going to be a special 100-man, 10 people per team fight to the death! I've even got Bungie (makers of Halo) to make a super special multiplayer map so that 100 people can play. I specially reserved 5 spots for you guys on Team 10, with myself, Axel, Saix, Stephanie and Redmond." There was a general murmur of agreement. "Splendid!" Tom yelled, delighted. "I now have all 100 players. Oh and Sora, stick it out – yours is nowhere near as bad as mine was." Sora nodded his thanks.

"SORA JUMPEI, GOD DAMNIT, REPORT TO MY OFFICE NOW!" Cloud's voice blurted over the intercom.

"Here Kairi, have my pudding." He said handing her his unopened pudding. She gave him a peck on the cheek as thanks and he left the room. He marched right on up to Cloud room. "You wanted to see me, Cloud?" Sora said, walking into the room.

"Yes Sora, I want to know what the hell is up with your FUCKING UNIFORM!" Cloud bellowed loud enough for the hallway outside to hear.

Sora backed up. "Hey, hey – It's because I lost the dorm war finals to your brother!"

Suddenly Cloud stopped. "Roxas beat you, eh? In that case… SUCK IT! YOU GOT BURNED BY MY LITTLE BRO! YOU GOT FUCKED OVER AND RAPED 5 TIMES BY ROXAS!" Sora merely rolled his eyes and left Cloud's office, only to find a cloth going over his mouth and his vision going black.

Back in the lunchroom.

"You do know Redmond is the spawn of Satan? You know he's done something when he has a lollipop. He isn't old enough to legally get money, so he just gets paid in lollipops." Roxas explained, as Kairi and Namine nodded, interested in what he had to say.

Riku, on the hand, was worrying about Sora. "It's been 35 minutes."

Suddenly Kairi got suspicious. "Do any of you know where Ms.–and-always-will-be-a-Ms. Stephanie Bitchface Whoreslut is?"

"I think I saw her lingering around H Block, near Cloud's office." Redmond said, passing their table

Suddenly it dawned on Kairi. "Oh crap. She's taken Sora. Quickly, to her room!"

Stephanie's father was a chemist, so Stephanie had all these (legal) chemicals and tablets provided for optimal living, like Vitamin C tablets. She also had, for the nights she couldn't get to sleep, Chlorophorm. Now she had a gagged and tied Sora on the floor. "Hehe..." She giggled evilly. "You're mine for a few days. And don't try screaming. You have a tube connected to your gag. I press a button on this remote control…" She said, holding up the device, "And the barrier between that tube and a sac of Chlorophorm will lift up, and you're out like that." She said, snapping her fingers for emphasis. "I'll be keeping you in a secret compartment. My big wooden chest of drawers has a hidden compartment underneath the last draw. That's where you'll be. You'll have a few spaces for oxygen, don't worry." Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Stephanie swore and opened up the last draw. She quickly removed the board of her last drawer, and placed Sora inside. She pressed the Chlorophorm button and closed the looking holes up so they couldn't see him. She closed the drawer quickly and answered the door. It was Kairi, glaring daggers. "Where is he?" She asked, with her, Roxas and Riku trailing behind her. They moved past her and began to search in all places, but they didn't find the hidden compartment, or Sora. Finally Kairi gave up. "Don't think you've fooled me. I know he's somewhere here, and next time I'm bringing motion sensors, or X-Ray goggles, or whatever!" She and the others left angrily, but Riku waved as he left.

Stephanie breathed a sigh of relief. She had Sora for a bit. "But…" She muttered to herself, "I've got to get them of my back…"

Then, a voice rang out. "That can be arranged." Stephanie looked up in surprise, and a figure walked out of the shadows. "You got any lollipops?" Redmond asked, a murderer's smile on his face.

----- To Be Continued…

What did ya'll think? Next issue, Kairi and the gang have a massive battle for Sora. But Stephanie has Redmond on her side, and then Riku defects to her side! Its 3 on 3! How can they free Sora?