Hehe, I now I said I was going to update Time Marches On first, but inspiration suddenly struck for this story. Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, the poll is closed, and I was rather surprised with the winner. Not that I don't like that pairing, in fact, that's one of my favorites, it's sudden win just kind of surprised me... Okay, on with the story!

You know what, screw the title thing, if you don't know by now, then you weren't paying attention to it in the first place! Right?

Disclaimer: I own Naruto plushies, Naruto posters, a Naruto headband or two, and a night cap that looks like Naruto's, but I don't own the only thing that would complete the collection, Naruto. Damn.

Chapter 5


'WHAT THE...?! HOW THE...?! AHH!!! I CAN"T HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED!!!!' Kitsune panicked as Sakura kept up her pounding on his door, trying to make good on her promise to knock it down, though the weathered mohagany was putting up a good fight.

Sai watched his friend for a minute, amused at the loss of the cold assurance that always seemed to surround the teen.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR NOW!!!!" Sakura screamed from the other side as te door gave an ominous moan. Sai, tired of the banshee yells, grabbed the panicking blond by the collar of his shirt as he ran by again, and thrust the orange monstrosity into his hands.

The porcelain ANBU mask clung to Kitsune's neck, and the raven grabbed it. Naruto looked completely confused, his brain shut down in panic.

"Take off your clothes, idiot, and put on that damn automatic seizure. I'll be Kitsune, and you'll be Naruto." Sai explained, and watched as understanding flitted over his friends tan features. He disappeared into the bathroom, coming out only moments later, the eye searing jumpsuit in place, along with the idiotic grin. He tossed the black outfit at Sai, who went to change while Naruto threw open the dented and cracked door.

Sakura jumpe back with a triumphant grin. "AH HAH! I knew it was you, though I don't know how you did it! I knew it! I KNEW nobody could really be that stupid!" She crowed, and Naruto looked confused.

"What do you mean, Sakura-chan?" He asked innocently. He stepped aside so that the pink haired girl could barge in.

She looked around for a second, then motioned to the otherwise empty room. "This is Kitsune's room? What are you doing here if he's not here? Unless you are Kitsune?" Sakura demanded.

Naruto, who felt he was playing his part perfectly, pointed to the bathroom. "Foxy-san is in the bathroom." He grinned mischievously, and whispered conspiratorially, "He has a bad case of gas." Why make this easy for Sai?

Sakura didn't look convinced, but Naruto watched in amusement as thin arms entwined around his waist from behind. So Sai wanted to make it look like that.

"Now, Naru-san, it's rude to hand out personal information." Sai had changed his voice patterns to match the ones Naruto used as Kitsune.

"But, Foxy-san, she's a medic-nin, maybe she has some Beano on her." Naruto responded, and the arms disappeared as Sai/Kitsune made it into his view.

"B-b-b-b-b..." Sakura seemed to have lost the ability to make coherent words, and resorted to stuttering and pointing.

"Sakura-chan, this is Foxy-san, he helped me when I was little. Foxy-san, my teammate Sakura Haruno, a chuunin who is training under baa-chan." The blond was having fun now, gesturing grandly to each of them. He turned to Sakura, with a serious look on his face. "Sakura, I'm not kidding, please say you have some Beano, else it's gonna get potent."

Sakura finally seemed to come back to herself, and Naruto found himself with a steaming red lump on his crown, testimony to his friend's short temper.

"Naruto, you baka, we already know each other, and why the hell would I have Beano?" She shouted, and turned to Sai/Kitsune with a pleasant smile. "I'm sorry I accused you of being this idiot, there's no way in hell he'd be able to pull it off." Grabing the whimpering blond by the ear, she dragged him out, calling behind her, "We'll just leave you alone now!"

The door closed behind her, miraculously still on its hinges, and she walked straight into another ANBU's chest. Jumping back, she rubbed her nose while spouting apologies. The ANBU watched her drag Naruto away, and down the hall, before turning to the door she had just exited.

Just as he was about to knock, the door swung open, revealing Sai, now dressed in his own clothes. Both ninja, blinked in surprise. Sai looked into the Inu mask of one of Kitsune's teammates, and if he was correct, this would be Kakashi, the idiot who had yet to discover the secret. He smiled insincerely.

"Ah, hello, ANBU-san. I'm sorry to say that Foxy-san isn't in right now." He told the silver haired man, who scowled behind his mask.

"Then what, Ne-san, were you doing in his room?" He demanded. Though Kakashi had grown to like the perverted young man, his persona was supposed to be mistrustful of Ne operatives. Besides, if Kitsune wasn't in, what was Sai doing in his room?

"Well, I was waiting for him, but Sakura came and got angry at me and Naruto. I don't know why, we were only gonna prank him a little bit, but apparently she found out, no matter how hard we tried to keep it a secret, and came to stop us. She just dragged Naruto away, and I was about to go to. I might have to save him." Sai said, after a striking moment of genius. That would explain his presence, Sakura's shouting, and the two teens' exit all in one. He silently congratulated himself.

"Why is it that I find it hard to believe you were here for a simple prank?" Inu questioned. Sai just sent him another annoying fake smile.

"Because you are a distrustful dickless ANBU." He left the man frozen in the doorway, striding calmly away, ignoring the slowly growing killing intent focused on his back.

~~~~With Naruto: The Hokage's Waiting Room~~~~

"Are you dating Kitsune?" Sakura demanded in a fierce whisper. She had pulled Naruto to a corner of the room, and tugged him down into a crouch. Naruto mentally sweat dropped, hoing this seriously wasn't her idea pf subtle.

"He wishes. I wouldn't date someone with such bad gas, though." He told her, grinning. He knew Sai had condemned him to being torn to shreds in the rumor mill. Both of himselfs. He would have to come up with a way to... repay him properly. But for now, he had a crisis to divert. "By the way, Sakura-chan, do you have bad gas?"

Another steaming lump joined the first on the top of his head, and he whimpered while she got up and left him with a huff. He was still groaning on the floor when Sai found him.

"Hey, dickless, follow me." The raven commanded, and though the blond was growling irratantly, he followed the other boy into the bathroom, making sure no one was watching. Sai released Naruto's ANBU uniform, mask, and weapons from a a sealing scroll, and handed them to his friend, who unabashedly began to strip.

"I saw Inu heading your way. How'd you manage to come away from that with your head still attached?" Naruto asked though his shirt before it joined his jacket on the ground.

"Well, I told him you and I were there to prank Kitsune, and that the bitch found out and stopped us." Sai answered, handing him the fishnet shirt that went under everything.

Naruto looked over his shoulder at the raven with a grin. "Explained all of it away with one explanation. Sometimes you almost seem smart." He dodged the punch that was thrown in his direction, but caught the pants that followed.

After he had finally tied on his mask, Sai peeked out the door. With a jaunty wave, he left the young ANBU, who exited minutes later, right into Inu's arms.

Both stumbled back. Kakashi, who was already pretty irritated, almost yelled at the person for not watching where he was going, but froze when he saw who it was.

"K-kitsune-taicho. I'm sorry, I didn't sense you." He apologized, and Kitsune waved them away.

"I heard you were looking for me earlier, Inu. What's up?" He asked instead. Kakashi paled under his mask. He had only gone to see if Sakura had outed his captain, though he turned out wrong.

"Oh, uh, well..." He was relieved when the young captain held up a hand and looked at the watch that he was issued, with a silver stripe down the middle, one of the many signs signifying his position in the ranks of ANBU.

"I'm sorry, Inu, but I must go." It was time for Naruto Uzumaki to make a reappearance in the world. Word would be getting out from Sakura that he was back, and he had to beat it to the streets. First stop? Ichiraku's. He sighed when he realized he now had to take of the seven layers of clothes he had just put on. So, leaving his subordinate, he made his way back up to his rooms, ready to become Naruto Uzumaki once again.

Yep. I felt like writing this chapter because inspiration struck, though it won't be seen for a while. I'll give you a hint. It involve Kyuubi and I Love Lucy... yeah, really, not as bad as it sounds. Any~who, I'm going to bed. Oyasumi Nasai!