Quote of the day: "I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds," but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers!" -Ianto from Torchwood... again...
Does anyone watch Torchwood? The show is funny as hell, there's so much guy on guy, girl on guy, and girl on girl action! Not to mention it' a British show, so yeah xD
Woot, wedding chapter~I've been waiting a while to write this xD
Thanks to: Silverfang0000, Dark Link, Unlucky-angel13, KATZUNITED, Kriala, Tsuki Mei, Shylo, Pie san, and Venerable Sage of Fortune (thanks for the comments btw n.n)
It had taken them almost a month to get all the way back to the port where Link had 'parked' the boat. It was their only way of getting back, so they had to deal with the long it was long.
Link's ears were very close to falling off, and it was mostly thanks to the reunited love birds who bickered the entire time. Shygen was determined to woo Ryuk who wanted nothing to do with him (or so he said) which led to a lot of swearing, and it didn't help that they were both riding on the same horse, so it was impossible for Ryuk to escape.
Hence the fighting..."I'm telling you benhail, if you don't fuck off, I'm going to burn your ass!" Ryuk said while pushing Shigen's face away from his neck where the older Haniam had been nuzzling.
"I want to do quite the opposite of fucking off though..." Shigen bent down to nuzzle the other side of Ryuk's neck, which earned him a very pissed of growl.
"I fucking hate you! Why don't you go back to fucking your mother!"
"My aunt..."
"That doesn't matter! Just fuck off!"
Shigen rested his chin on Ryuk's shoulder. "That's it... for every swear word you say... I'm going to kiss you..."
"Like I'm fucking scared of you..."
Shigen sighed and tilted Ryuk's head toward him. "I warned you..." And before Ryuk could get another word out, Shigen latched onto his lips.
"Fucking stupid bastard! Pain in my ass! I'll fucking kill you before we get on the boat!"
Kai rested his head on Link's shoulder chuckling. "If Ryuk doesn't stop swearing, they'll have to go some place private."
Link shook his head sadly, trying to hide the smirk forming on his lips. "Pray it never comes to that."
Kyou and Kaichou were now trying to separate their leader from Ryuk, the younger Haniam who was starting to turn murderous, and he was a danger to Rush who was currently sleeping snuggly inside Shigen's shirt.
Xxeon and Zeon had left the group at different parts of the journey to go back to their homes, much to Ryuk's approval and Link's displeasure, but Zeon had promised to meet up with them before they departed for Hyrule, and Xxeon had claimed that he was just returning to retrieve Vii from her village.
Link hoped that Zeon would agree to go back to Hyrule with them all, he had finally found his family and he hated the thought of parting with his brother.
"So you're really going to be the girl for the wedding?" Kai's voice was gleeful and slightly scary.
"Might as well, you're always the girl in our relationship, I think it's my turn." I dread putting that dress on though... but then again, it could be fun.
"And we have to make Ryuk a bridesmaid! And rush could be the flower girl... or boy... and we have to find a kid on ebay! I want our kid to be the ring bearer!" Now Kai was bouncing up and down excitedly.
"I thought Shigen was our kid..."
"Yeah he is, but he's going to be the one marrying us, so we need another one, so drop your drawers sweet heart." Kai's hands reached out and began unbuckling Link's belt.
Link slapped him away. "I think you're forgetting that I can't carry children my love."
Kai scratched the back of his head and laughed. "Oops~"
They rode at a steady pace until nightfall, reaching the village just as the sun was setting on the horizon.
Link payed to have the horses kept at the stable for the night and then led the group to the docks.
Vii was there, standing next to Keagen who looked perfectly well and slightly pissed off. Xxeon was in his wolf form, laying at the edge of the dock, peering into the water, his tail wagging.
"I was wondering when you would get here, man you're slow." Vii patted Link on the shoulder playfully. "We got you a boat ready, fully supplied and everything!" She gestured behind her to a large ship that was bobbing up and down in the water. "You can sleep on it tonight and pack up the horses and leave in the morning."
Link nodded. "Thanks a lot for this Vii, now we don't have to steal one."
"It's the least I can do, besides I had to repay you for letting Xxeon bring back those documents." She brushed past Link and stood in front of Shigen. "You're cute, no wonder they wanted to save you."
Shigen raised an eyebrow and said nothing.
"And don't get use to being the only special one, because soon I'm going to make my own Haniam, and they will be all powerful!"
Ryuk spun her around and pushed her back toward Keagen. "Get out of here you crazy b- ... woman.
"Shigen smiled happily to himself. Whipped already...
"Alright everyone, lets go get some sleep, I know I need some...." Link said, walking toward the ramp which lead to a nice comfy bed.
"Awww shit, not the boat!" Kai broke away from the group and ran over to a nearby house, grabbing onto one of the protruding windowsills and planting himself there. "I shall not move from this spot!"
The others stopped for a moment before shrugging and continuing on their way.
"I guess I'll have to get dressed up and marry you Shigen, since my fiancée doesn't want to anymore."
"Nice... So I get to deflower you sexy...?"
It only took Kai 5 seconds to detach himself from the house, run up the ramp and onto the ship.
Link chuckled evilly before following after him, only to be stopped by Keagen.
Keagen didn't look like he was in the killing mood, but he didn't look like he was about to hug him either. "About the match... it was... fun. You're a worthy opponent and a good man, and I shouldn't have been so hostile toward you." He looked from Link's eyes to the ground. "What I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry."
"I forgive you, I was having fun fighting you." Link smiled at him before continuing on his way.
"Well leader, should we take first watch?" Kaichou asked Shigen, but she already knew his answer.
"I don't care... I'm going to go lay down with Ryuk..."
"Like er... I would ever lay in the same bed as you!" Ryuk pulled his hand out of Shigen's before the older Haniam could drag him anywhere and backed as far away as possible, almost tripping over Xxeon who barked at him.
Kaichou shrugged and pulled Kyou along with her. "Come on wimpy, we'll go sleep in the crow's nest, it's nice and quiet up there."
Ryuk glared at them, offended that they didn't offer for him to join them. I have to get away from this crazy bastard, he's going to end up raping me in my sleep or something.
Vii bounced over to Ryuk and kissed him on the cheek before jumping on Xxeon's back. "Have good sex Ryuk-y!" She giggled as he growled at her, then took off in the direction of the village, Keagen sighing and following after her.
Shigen reached down his shirt and pulled the struggling Rush out. "You're finally up are you...?"
Rush squeaked and took off into the air, transforming as soon as he was close to the ground. "Yeah, thanks for carrying me all day."
Shigen ruffled his hair. "Zeon said you were to be left in mine and Ryuk's care..." He smiled at Ryuk. "Right mommy...?"
Ryuk snapped his teeth at him. "You know I would love to tell you off right now."
"Oh please do..."
Why did I have to be adopted by the crazy ones? Rush watched his parents as they proceeded to once again, kill/kiss each other. It's going to be a long after life...Eventually Shigen did manage to get Ryuk in his bed, which Link and Kai thought was a miracle, and after a long hour of Ryuk trying to insult Shigen without swearing, the place finally fell silent.
Rush climbed in the bed behind Shigen and snuggled into his back towards the end of the night, he had been out hunting and talking to the two Haniam standing guard in the crow's nest.
He didn't mean to wake up Ryuk who was trapped in Shigen's arms with a very large scowl on his face.
"Sorry..." He whispered before closing his eyes with a sigh.
Ryuk grumbled a reply and wiggled one of his arms free. He ignored the twinges of pain and brushed the hair away from Shigen's face.
The older Haniam had always brushed his bangs to the side so they covered his left eye, claiming it was a habit from his emo days (whatever that meant) but now he had an excuse to do it, his left eye was carved out, leaving a scorched and bloody mark where it use to be. The elf said he would never get his sight back in this eye. I guess we both got fucked, I don't think I'll be shooting my bow anytime soon...
As gently as he could, he traced the wound with his finger tips, almost jumping out of his skin when Shigen's good eye opened.
"Can't sleep love...?"
Ryuk removed his hand from Shigen's face, a blush rising on his cheeks. "Don't call me that, and no, our stupid kid woke me up."
"I heard that." Rush draped himself over Shigen's side and glared at him.
"You were suppose to hear it dumb... kid..."
Shigen rolled over so Rush fell back behind him. "Okay you two... close your eyes... I'll sing you back to sleep..."
The vampire seemed pleased with this and snuggled back into Shigen.
Ryuk didn't seemed so pleased. "You can sing?"
Shigen rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss Ryuk on the forehead, making him close his eyes with a growl. I've never heard Shigen sing... this could be scary.
Ryuk prepared to cover his ears, but when Shigen opened his mouth and sang, he almost melted.
"Okay I take it back, your voice is very... sexy..." Ryuk hid his face, knowing it would be a brighter red then it was before.
"I knew you'd like it..." Shigen grasped Ryuk's chin and forced him to look at him. "You're cute when you blush..."
When Ryuk didn't come back with an angry reply, and Shigen leaned in and kiss him, and was very happy to find that Ryuk was (finally) kissing him back, although he was clumsy and shy.
When they broke apart Ryuk was looking at him with a very serious expression. "Shigen... I..." He gulped, his nerves were shot, but he had to get his feelings out into the open. Shigen smiled at him and he relaxed and continued.
"You.. are the most annoying, self centered, confusing, and smug bastard I've ever met, but I think.... I like you... just maybe a little. And maybe more when you're not kissing me, because that's annoying... anyway, I think I realized it a while ago, you know, back when I was captured by those stupid elves and was about to get killed. I was thinking about you... and I thought it was weird, but now I know why. God this is annoying! Why you? Why can't I fall for some pretty village girl?"
Shigen placed a finger on his lips to stop him. "Never mind that... go back and repeat what you said.. The part before that last part... I didn't quite hear you..."
Ryuk glared but decided to go along with his little game. "I said I like you... A little..."
"What...?"
"I said I like you."
"Once more Ryuk... My ears must be clogged or something..."
"Yeah they're full of shit! I said I fucking love you! There! I said it! Now don't make me say it again!"
On the bunk beside them, Kai sat up so fast that he smashed his head on the top bunk.
Rush and Link kept snoring, oblivious to what was going on."Holy shit Ryuk, where's the fire?" Kai said to the now hidden Ryuk. "Wait... Did he just proclaim his love to you?"
Shigen could only smirk for an answer.
The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs finally woke Link up who sat up with a grumble.
Zeon summoned fire to light the area making Shigen flinch and hide under the blankets with Ryuk.
"Well that is a nice thing to hear in the morning." The elf patted the young Haniam on the head happily.
"Hi there Zeon." Link yawned and smiled sleepily at him.
Zeon nodded to him. "Hello there little brother, you need to get up now, Vii, Keagen and Xxeon are setting up the sails so we can leave soon, we are waiting on your magic to send us off." Then he added as an after thought. "And also I brought that Celestial elf child that Kai wanted to adopt."
Kai jumped out of bed. "Yay! Our ring bearer is here! Thank you Ebay!" He looked at Zeon. "Wait... you're Ebay?"
Zeon stared blankly at him for a few minutes. "I have no clue what you are talking about dear Kai." He turned and waled over to the stairs. "Hey Shylo! Your new mom and dad are down here! Come meet them!"
This time the footsteps only made it halfway down the stairs before there was a yelp followed by a crashing sound, and then a pained moan.
Zeon bent down and shook the lump on the floor gently. "You poor child, I have never seen such a klutz in my life."
"Shut up, you're just jealous of my awesome entrance skills!"
"Oh god it's another Kai." Ryuk mumbled from under the blankets.
Kai being Kai jumped on the lump and huggled it. "My poor child! You have the clumsy curse!"
Zeon left them alone so he could light the candles in the area, enabling him and Link to see.
"Man, that was a good sleep." Link cracked his hands and stretched. "Though I'm pretty sure I was so tired I could have slept next to Ganondorf peacefully... if he was still here."
Zeon sat down on the bed next to him, not bothering to hide the shiver that went through him at the mention of the evil king's name. "I am glad he left, I do not like that man."
"Link get over here and hug our new baby!"
Link chuckled and slowly got off the bed and made his way over to where Kai was strangling the life out of what appeared to be a teenage boy.
"Isn't he cute?" Kai released his death grip and held the kid toward Link.
He was adorable. Long orange hair, pretty emerald green eyes, and the way he dressed was unique for what time period they were in, he was wearing some tight fitting pants and a shirt, and even had arm warmers on. A fashion sensible kid, him and Shigen will get along well.
Link held out his hand, Shylo took it and Link pulled him to his feet. Gah! He's tall too... no fair... Link pouted as he stared at the kid who was just as tall as him.
Shylo smiled and tackled Link in a hug. "I'm guessing you're my dad then!"
Zeon had to catch Link before he fell over backward from the force of the tackle.
"Um, yeah, that's me." Link ruffled the kid's hair.
Kai hugged Shylo from behind, sandwiching him. "I'm going to raise him to be just like me!"
Shigen laughed from under the blankets. "I pity the child already..."
Kai stuck his tongue out at him.
"Okay little brother, are you ready to sail the ship?" Zeon removed Link from the Shylo sandwich and dragged him up the stairs.
Kai sniffed and waved at him. "Bye hunny! Be back for dinner!"
Link could not believe he was doing this. Well he knew it was going to happen soon after he made it back to Hyrule, but he didn't think it would happen as soon as they made it back to Hyrule.
He swirled around and watched the white wedding dress flair out. It was fun, and he was bored with waiting for everyone to get ready.
How many people did Kai invite anyway?
They were having the wedding at Zelda's castle in one of the larger courtyards, which made him question the number of guests that were coming.
Oh god, what if all of Hyrule is out there? And I have to walk down the isle in front of all of them... Some way to come out of the closet about me and Kai.
There was a knock at the door.
Link had to breath deeply before speaking. "Come in."
The door opened and Shigen stepped in, dressed in a ceremonial black tunic. "Nervous sexy...?"
Link turned and looked at him. "Just a little."Shigen went silent, his blank expression almost faltering. "Sexy...you look like a girl..."
Link scowled and threw his bouquet at him. "I know, don't remind me, okay?"
Shigen shrugged. "If you think you're bad... you should see Ryuk... Malon and Zelda put extensions in his hair... he looks very... womanly..."
Link closed his eyes and tried to picture this new Ryuk, but he couldn't make it work. "Well I'm glad I'm not the only one."
The door opened again and this time Zelda's head poked in. "Link, it's time for the bride to make an entrance~!"
Link shivered and grabbed onto Shigen's arm when it was offered to him. "You're walking me down the fucking aisle Shigen."
"With pleasure sexy." Shigen handed him the abused bouquet, and Link took it with a grumble.
They left the room and walked to the entrance that led to the courtyard. Malon was standing there along with another woman with dark red hair. It took Link a few minutes to realize it was Ryuk, in fact he would have thought she was just a girl he didn't know until his saw Ryuk's pissed off expression, Vii was giggling and patting him on the shoulder sympathetically.
Along with the women, there were also four men. Zeon looking uncomfortable in the formal clothes, sheik who looked disappointed that there was no spandex in his outfit, Keagen who looked confused as to why he was there, and Xxeon who's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw Link.
Link ignored him and turned his attention to his newly adopted son who was fidgeting with his clothes. Yep, definitely another Kai, can't keep still. And then to the 'flower girl' who's pissed expression could rival Ryuk's.
Oh dear... Poor Rush...
The music started up, and Link's stomach fell down to his feet.
Sheik held out his hand to Zelda and they started down the aisle, soon followed by Xxeon and Malon, Keagen and Vii, and then Zeon and Ryuk.
Shylo was next, carrying the rings like they were and offering to god, but he forgot to look where he was going and tripped, almost falling flat on his face, but he managed to catch himself and continued on like nothing had happened.
Rush was next to go, he was a rather violent flower girl, throwing the flowers at the carpeted aisle like he would throw a dagger at a monster. And after the whole area was thoroughly flowered, it was Link's turn to go.
"Alright sexy... just remember to look at shadow and everything will go smoothly..."
Link didn't answer, he just nodded his head two started their trip down the aisle, and Link almost turned around and ran. A good portion of Hyrule was indeed present, and Link thought he was going to die of embarrassment.
And then he spotted Kai at the end, Kai who was dashingly handsome at the moment and giving him a smile that would melt even the coldest man's heart. And instead of them moving too fast, they seemed to be moving too slow, Link wanted to get up there and stand next to Kai, but he had to walk down the damn aisle first.
Next to him Shigen was chuckling under his breath, knowing exactly what was going through Link's mind.
When they reached the end Link almost tripped over himself to get to Kai, and Shigen took his place behind them.
"We are gathered here today to see these two people joined in the the hell that some consider marriage..."
Kai had to hold in his laughter and Link just gave him a weird look.
"What...? I'm not Catholic... or Hyrulian... Anyway... If anyone is against this union... speak now or forever shut up...."
No one said anything.
"Good..." He turned to Kai. "Do you shadow take sexy to be your sexy husband... in sickness and in health... and numerous other things until death due you part...?"
"I do!"
Shigen looked to Link next. "And do you sexy take shadow to be your mentally disturbed husband... in sickness and in health... and numerous other things until death do you part...?"
"I do."
"May the goddesses have mercy on us..." Shigen took the rings from Shylo as he handed them to him.
Shygen gave the first ring to Kai. "Put this on sexy's finger..."
Kai's hand was shaking when he slipped the gold ring onto Link's finger, but Link knew it was from him containing his laughter.
"From this moment forward you shadow are bound to sexy as long as this ring is upon his finger..."
He handed the other ring to Link, and Link slipped it onto Kai's finger quickly.
"And from this moment forward you sexy are bound to shadow as long as this ring is upon his finger..."
All the girls were crying at this point, Ryuk just looked very out of place.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife... You may now make out with the bride..."
Kai didn't waste any time pouncing onto Link.
The crowd stood up and cheered, some of them awe-ing at the newly weds as Kai picked up his bride and ran with him down the aisle, almost tripping and falling on his face.
Shigen slid over to Ryuk and wrapped his arms around him. "Well that was slightly amusing."
Ryuk gave him a look that said he was quite the opposite of amused.
"I feel pretty and it feels weird!" They looked over at Rush who was pulling at his dress.
"I think our son has just realized he's gay..."
Haha! I said I'd give you the wedding, but I said nothing of the reception! Ahahaha!
And sorry if the whole Catholic wedding got on your nerves, I just couldn't think of any other vows that I could let Shigen make fun of~
And also, fanfiction is being an ass, it got rid of all the spaces between my sentences, so I had to go through the whole thing and space it all -died- so sorry if it looks weird...
I am going to play my Harvest moon game now ; )