A/N: Reviews = lovely. Please.
What do others think about what Topher did?
"We literally become what we do, not what we've done or will do. We're best defined by our actions in the moment." (Bennett Halverson, Epitaph Two)
"You don't have to do it, you know. At least not alone."
"I do. I'll fix what we did to their heads. You fix what we did to the rest of the world." He paused, and leant closer, his breath warm against her ear. "Your job is way harder." He moved back, that small smile on his lips; the one that she had come to understand meant 'I'm okay, I'm still here'.
He turned and walked away. She didn't say a word, hand over her mouth, almost unable to watch him go. She didn't say a word.
She didn't say a word. She should have said... What should she have said? What could she have said? Something, after all those years. Instead, she had just let him go, not a word, no goodbye.
He was brave enough to do what he did, and she hadn't even been brave enough to tell him that she would miss him.
Alone in her room, Adelle slapped her hand down on her desk. Brave! Was it brave, what he did? Was it not just the easy way out? She had to pick up the pieces, carry on, and he was gone, free of it all.
Did she envy him? Did she begrudge him that? She downed the last of her drink and let her head fall heavily into her hands. No, said that little voice in her head. Of course she didn't.
He had become a hero in this new world. Their strong, self-sacrificing saviour. But she knew it wasn't like that. He was broken inside, hurt and destroyed beyond repair. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to fix the world, yes, but he wanted to fix himself too. Everyone was a little bit selfish.
He hurt too much. And so it was just as sad to her, just as brave, just as worth remembering, because he should never have had to feel that way. But he did.
And that was why she had let him go. She knew that. She knew it had to be done, and she knew why, for him, it had to be him. That smile haunted her, alone in the dark, the smile that seemed to say so much, give her a different message every time. "It's okay. Don't worry. I'm okay now. Thank you. You understand. I love you."
With a sigh, she pulled herself out of her chair. As she got ready for bed, she looked at herself in the mirror. Old, haggard. In the morning, she would be young, fresh, the picture of control and safety.
She collapsed into her bed, pulled the covers tight around her. She closed her eyes, but the silent tears still came pouring out, as they had every night since she watched him go.