The Black Market Baby Scandal

(Chapter Two: Olivia's Secret)

Olivia stared down into the black liquid in her coffee mug. No more stalling, this was the time and the truth had to come out. She bit her lip nervously and looked up at Elliot.

"You're disappointed in me? I can see it in your eyes," she said softly.

"I not disappointed in you, Olivia. I'm worried about you. This case is obviously bothering you and for a damn good reason," he said tossing the file down onto the coffee table.

"You can read it if you want. Before long everyone is going to know."

Elliot leaned back on the couch beside her and reached for her hand. "Maybe it would be easier if you just told me what happened." He watched as she started to tear up again.

"I didn't know what to do. The only thing I could do was try to move on and put it all behind me."

"You had an abortion?" Elliot's eyes widened watching every move she made and every breath she took. Abortion was against everything Olivia believed, she must have been pretty desperate and terribly scared to have gone that far. No wonder she had tried so hard to hide it.

He watched her as she wiped tears from her cheek and tried to regain herself. She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no. Infact, she had completely avoided answering his question all together. Olivia took a jagged breath and exhaled slowly. Elliot watched her bottom lip quiver just a bit as she started to speak softly.

"I was twenty five and working on my masters. My mother and I had fallen out of touch and I was struggling to make ends meet. I had to drop down to going to school part time so that I could work enough to pay the bills. I had been dating this guy for about six months. He was older than me, a professor at another school. I thought we were serious. I guess he didn't. One day I got a strange phone call….from his wife. I never knew he was married. Anyway, I broke it off when I found out. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I went to him and tried to talk to him. I wasn't exactly sure what I thought I would accomplish, but I thought he had a right to know. He handed me four hundred dollars and told me to get rid of it. I was devastated." She took another deep breath and paused for a moment.

"What did you do?" Elliot asked as he squeezed her hand.

"I was so scared. I took the money and left. But the more I thought about things, the more I knew I couldn't do it. I don't think I ever really considered it. At one point I attempted to call my mother, but she answered the phone drunk and I just hung up. I was pregnant and alone. I quit school and picked up more hours at work. I used the money he gave me with what savings I had to put a deposit on a small two bedroom place of my own. I saved and worked as long as I could. At one time I felt overwhelmed and had considered giving the baby up for adoption. But the first time I felt it move inside me, I knew I couldn't give it up."

Elliot watched her as she smiled at the memory. She hadn't noticed but she had dropped one hand to her belly as she was telling the emotional story.

"Things went well over the next several months. I got the nursery set up and was picking out names and gearing up to do this on my own. Then one night out of the blue I started having contractions and bleeding. I thought for sure I was losing my baby. I was not quite eight months along. I called an ambulance and they rushed me to the hospital. By the time I got there I was too far into labor for them to stop it and I had already lost so much blood. The doctor delivered my baby twenty minutes after I arrived at the hospital. A little girl."

Olivia took a staggered breath and looked at Elliot as tears poured down her face.

"She weighed four pounds two ounces, I named her Emily. She was so tiny. One of the nurses wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to me. I only got to hold her for a few minutes before the doctor came and took her away. He told me I needed my rest and gave me a shot to help me sleep. When I woke up the next morning, they told me that my baby girl had died during the night. The doctor said it was just too early. They later said that I had placenta previa and that was what had caused the premature labor. I had never even heard of it until then. Two days later I left the hospital and came home without my baby. I donated all of the things from the nursery. The changing table and tons of baby clothes. A rocking chair and the crib that my baby never got the chance to sleep in. The only thing I kept was the blanket she was wrapped in at the hospital and a sonogram picture. I have had them in a box in the top of my closet for years."

"I am so sorry, Olivia."

"That was twelve years ago. And I still cannot get her out of my head. I have always had these dreams. And in them I relive that night. And it is so real. I can almost feel the contractions and I can see her and feel her. Then I wake up and I realize she is really gone and I will never get to hold her again or hear her cry. For years after I lost her I would see a little girl with dark hair and eyes that would be around the same age Emily would have been and for just a moment I would catch myself wondering if that could be my daughter. For just a moment, I find hope. Then I remember that my baby is gone and she isn't coming back."

"Olivia, if your file is in this box. If you delivered your baby at one of these hospitals, then there is a chance…."

"Elliot, she was premature. And there were complications with the delivery. I don't doubt that she died. Every parent who loses their child has a place inside them where they secretly hope that somehow there was a horrible mistake and their child isn't really dead. I have finally come to terms with it. It just happens sometimes."

"Maybe you're right. Liv, but maybe you are wrong. They say that a mother has a connection with her child from the early moments of pregnancy. That a mother clear across the country can feel when her child is sick or injured or scared."

"But my child is dead, Elliot."

"Maybe she isn't Liv. Maybe she was stolen with the rest of these babies. And maybe that is why you have had these dreams for the last twelve years. Maybe this is your body's way of trying to tell you that she is still out there somewhere and she needs you."

Olivia just stared at him with a blank expression on her face.

"Look Liv, maybe she was just too early. Did they ever show you a body?"

"No. I asked, but they had already taken care of her."

"Taken care of her?"

"They held the body for a few days. Then they released her to the funeral home so that I could bury her. There was no service. Just me and a preacher and a tiny casket delivered into the ground by the workers from the funeral home."

"But you never saw her before you buried her?"

"No. El, I appreciate everything you are trying to do here. But it is just a little far fetched and I can't get my hopes up just to be let down. My daughter died. End of story."

"But that is what the doctor told all of those other women, too. Then he sold their babies to the highest bidder."

"Yes, but those women all delivered healthy full term babies. I had a preemie. And babies born as early as she was often don't survive. Besides, wouldn't the funeral home notice if they didn't have a body to put into the casket?"

"We still don't know how many people were involved with this, Olivia. Isn't it at least possible?"

"I guess so. But I didn't even see this doctor that they have arrested. I have never even met him."

"Are you going to be okay to work this case?"

"I'm okay, Elliot. I just am not so excited about everyone finding out about my past."

"Liv, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I know. But I also know that everyone will be talking about it and I really just don't want to deal with it. I tried so hard to put it all behind me and move on. And now to have it all dragged up again. It is a little stressful."

"I do think you should take this to Cragen and explain it to him before the press find out. These records are supposed to be private. But anyone with enough money can get a hold of the information. Once they tie you to this case personally and realize that you are also one of the detectives assigned to work on it, you are going to have press camped out on your door step trying to get information from you."

"I didn't think of that."

"Maybe you should pack some things and come stay with me for a while. Just until this all blows over. I have a spare room, it's all yours if you want it."

"I appreciate the offer, Elliot. But I think maybe I should wait and see how this all goes down. There is no point in over reacting."

"Okay, but the offer stands. Anytime you need someone. Or if you need anything. I can be here in minutes."

Olivia smiled and took a deep breath as she laid her head against his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're here. It's nice to finally be able to talk about this with someone. Kind of get it off my chest, you know?"

"Well I am here any time you need to talk. Just call me that's what friends are for, right?"

"Thanks, El."

"No problem, sweetheart."

Elliot hugged her and she smiled for the first time all morning. Somewhere inside he knew this was far from over. And things would get a lot harder on Olivia before they got better.