Chapter 10: Battles
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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Hikaru Gosunkugi entered Ucchan's with a note. Ukyo recognized him as one of Kuno's hangers-on, one of the boys involved in the battle where Ranma had been driven berzerk. She was wary, but he seemed to be no threat.
"Ummm... Kuonji-san... Nabiki said she wants to meet with you. She had something to discuss... about Ranma..." He passed Ukyo the note.
"Did she?" She relaxed; it wasn't Kuno's business this time. She finished up her orders and temporarily closed shop, hefting her spatula and heading to the designated alley.
She was met there by Kuno. "Kuonji-san. Good morning."
"Kuno-sempai. Are you going to let me pass? I need to meet with Nabiki."
"It seems you are misled. You are, in fact, meeting with me."
"And what business would I have with you?"
"You will bring Ranma Saotome to me, that I may face him in final battle."
"And why should I do that? He's not that hard to find. You can get him to kick your butt any time you want."
"The Lady whom he has bound to himself allows him to avoid battle when the opponent has the advantage. Such as I do now. Though it pains me to use such tactics, I must challenge you to get to him."
"Big problem with your plan, sugar." She drew her spatula. "I can fight my own battles."
And the fight was on.
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"Do you think Ranma will go for this, Kasumi?" Nabiki held a brassiere. It was entirely in jest; Ranma refused to wear feminine clothing, especially underwear.
"I think he might like this one more," Kasumi said, pointing out another one. As always, it was difficult with her to tell if she was playing along with the joke, or honestly didn't get it.
"Let that baka hentai wear whatever he wants," Akane said. Her feelings, at least, were always clear.
"You know, Akane," Nabiki said reprovingly, "you really should learn to understand the different kinds of hentais. For most people, hentai means strange or uncontrollable sex drives. As far as I can see, Ranma has *no* sex drive at all. He may actually be the LEAST hentai boy his age in town."
"You expect me to believe that?"
"It's true," Kasumi said. "Any other boy his age who could turn into a woman like that would never leave his room..."
"I can see why. He's embarrassed enough as it is."
"I meant what they would be doing all day..." Her sisters were staring strangely at her. "What?"
"Nothing," they said.
As they left the shop they were distracted by a commotion in the alley. They went to see what it was. It sounded like Kuno and... Ukyo? Why would THEY be fighting?
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Ranma's first warning was the distraction. It was, of course, totally unexpected. If it hadn't been, it wouldn't have been an effective distraction.
"NNYYYYYAAAA! GET HER AWAY FROM ME!" Ryoga came bounding along the rooftops, going right up to Ranma - and past him.
"AH HA HA HA HA HA HA! RYOGA SAMA! DON'T RUN AWAY! PLEASE! STAY WITH ME!" Seconds later, Kodachi came bounding after him.
Ranma did a double take. "When did THAT happen? I wasn't even THERE..."
A sound of metal on metal from a nearby alley: a clash of weapons. He jumped over to look. Kuno and... Ucchan? Could she hold her own against him? He couldn't see clearly. Something told him it was a trap. He held his position.
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Kuno was learning respect for Ukyo's skills. He was still holding his own, but she remained dangerous, pressing him as few could. Only Ranma, in his estimate, was better.
"The coward does not show himself..." Kuno mused. "SAOTOME! WILL YOU NOT PROTECT YOUR FIANCEE?"
"He isn't showing up! You're not worth his time!" Ukyo threw another line of spatulas.
"Very well. No less than expected. Then I am forced to use my secret weapon. ARISE, SOLDIERS! TO BATTLE!"
Boys carrying casks with various labels began emerging from shops. One threw his cask at Ukyo, apparently as a distraction. She idly swing her spatula, cutting it through the middle, the halves falling to either side of her.
But it was not empty. She found herself splashed by cold water. And feeling very strange indeed.
Kuno suddenly seemed much bigger. In fact, the whole world did. Her clothes had piled around her. And she seemed to have hair on her face.
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"UCCHAN!" Ranma saw Ukyo get hit with the water and knew the game was up. He jumped down, trying to hit Kuno from behind, but the kendoist was expecting the attack. He swung around and parried, but allowing Ranma to pass and assume a position protecting Ukyo. He relaxed his stance, giving Ranma time to size up the situation.
Ranma saw that Kuno was not looking to be an immediate threat, and looked down into Ukyo's clothes. They were occupied by a fox. "Ucchan... what have they done to you?" He refocused on Kuno. "WHY? Why do this? What did she ever do to you?"
"She became your friend. Honor demanded you rescue her. But now it is you who need rescue..." Mousse-tiger padded up beside him. Ranma began shaking.
The Tendos were still looking on in horror. Akane bashed Kuno's head from behind. "BAKA! This is going too far, Kuno!"
"Fear not for the girl's sake, for she shall recover. But now that we have Saotome..." He motioned to the boys now piling up at either end of the alley and lining the rooftops. "NOW! WE FINISH HIM!"
"NO YOU DON'T!" Akane charged in, hoping to save the paralyzed Ranma.
And now the disaster fully materialized, as Shampoo came walking by the alley entrance behind the Tendos, as Ryoga bounded down into the alley right next to Ranma and back up, as Kodachi landed in the same spot and prepared to leap up to follow, as Akane reached Ukyo and Ranma and Kodachi, as the boys around them threw their casks.
It was Akane's poor tactical sense that made the disaster complete. Instead of grabbing Ranma and pushing or dragging him away, she fixated on one of Ukyo's dropped firework-laced flour bombs. It detonated just as the casks came in. The alley was clouded with flour. Casks flew everywhere. Much splashing was heard.
And then Nerima *really* became a zoo.
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An hour later, Mousse was confronting Kuno. "What were you THINKING! You weren't, were you? I could have told you it wouldn't work. The Lady's curse is stronger than the rest. It can't be broken with another curse. Now - SHAMPOO! My Shampoo! Damn you, Kuno!" Tears came from his eyes; he made as if to tear his hair out. "We're through! I'll kill Saotome myself. You can buy your own trip to the Springs. Or go to Hell for all I care."
As he stormed out, the parrot said, "Well, brother, I hope you're happy."
The mouse could only squeak.
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Soun Tendo's Demon Head chi projection seemed like it was going to become a permanent feature. The panda sitting next to him looked equally incensed. Ranma-chan did her best to shrink down to atomic size.
"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!"
"Gomen. I tried to help, Ucchan -"
"WHO CARES ABOUT HER! MY DAUGHTERS ARE ANIMALS!"
"Gomen," she said again. "I can fix this -"
"YOU'D BETTER! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Kasumi neighed, Nabiki barked, and Akane quacked in agreement.
"Ummm... There were a lot of waters there... maybe there's some Drowned Girl water still at the market..."
"THEN GO GET THEM!" Soun promptly drop-kicked him over the rooftops in the direction of the market street.
The girls wanted to know where Genma got his signs.
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The squirrel jumped in the pail of hot water. Shampoo emerged and moved to dress herself. "The next time I see him I'm giving him the Kiss of Death."
"That's for outsiders," Cologne reminded her. "You can just kill him. He's caused enough trouble."
"So sorry, Great-Grandmother. I spent all this time away to get those waters and now I have to do it again."
"No," Cologne said sharply. "The way things are here, it would be another waste of effort."
"Great-Grandmother! You mean I -?"
"Consider it your punishment for not being vigilant. Passing by a battle like that without scouting it first! I taught you better than that." She sighed. "But no Girl water for you also means none for that mooncat. We will need to find another way."
Shampoo reached into her backpack and pulled out a catalogue. "There is always this."
Cologne paged through the catalogue. "Hmmm... yes... I think this might help..."
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"So how much will three trips to Jusenkyo cost?" Akane asked as she soaked in the furo with her sisters.
"Four," Kasumi said. "Father will want to come and protect us on our way."
"What about Ranma?" Nabiki asked.
"Let him stay here," Akane said. "He'll just get us all turned into monsters."
"But they did go to China cheaply..." Kasumi was trying to be hopeful.
"It took them a month," Nabiki reminded her, "and they didn't exactly pay their way. They also knew how to live off the land." She did some quick figures in her head. "It will take a few weeks to earn enough. At least three weeks, probably more. Depending on how helpful Ranma is."
"Waitressing dosen't pay that much, does it?" Akane asked.
"There will be more than waitressing involved..."
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Ranma-chan had made a survey of the battle area. There were a number of casks of Spring of Drowned Boy and Girl in one of the shops, but they had all been used; those on the street, including Shampoo's, had been destroyed.
She had expected as much. Now it was night, and the main show was about to begin.
Right on cue, a giant image of a blond man in red-trimmed charcoal military-style outfit appeared over the city. "I am Jadeite. Listen to me, Sailor Senshi. The time has come to settle things. Come to the F runway at Haneda airport tomorrow night at 1 AM. Otherwise..." He spat a ball of fire at the city, engulfing all of Tokyo in flames.
The few people on the streets at this hour were startled and began to panic. Jadeite dismissed the flames with a snap of his fingers. There seemed to be no damage done. "That was only an illusion. But if you don't come, Tokyo will be a sea of fire."
The image faded. Ranma checked the next day and saw no problems getting out of the house at midnight. Another night short on sleep. Super heroing was a fun business to him, but the hours sucked.
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Another tense breakfast. Ranma-chan had stayed out all night, not wanting to suffer further wrath from Soun, but she could not delay the bad news forever. "...so, I guess you all will want me to go to China and get you some Spring of Drowned Girl water," she said.
Soun shook his head. "We can't wait months for you to get there and back. And you haven't proven yourself reliable. I will take them myself. We will go immediately!"
"We don't have the money for an airplane trip or a cruise ship," Nabiki said, "which leaves slow boats. I'm guessing we can't avoid getting changed on the way. Kasumi will attract the most attention..."
"Virgins are supposed to attract unicorns," Kasumi said, "not turn INTO them."
"They'll want your horn, and possibly other body parts you can't do without. We might be able to set up a path for concealed smuggling..."
Ranma shook his head. "That would take just as long as us men going there and bringing water back."
"Well, then. Ranma, get yourself ready for an outing tonight. We're going to start putting your curse to work..."
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School was full of whispers that day. Tatewaki Kuno had shown up briefly, then disappeared for most of the day. Nabiki noticed the class being distracted by squeaking sounds throughout the day. No doubt the school was becoming infested with mice. They would probably call the exterminators on the weekend.
At lunch she kept her ears peeled for unfair comments. The first girl to say "I always knew she was a -" couldn't finish the comment through the rice cake stuffed in her mouth.
Boys around the school were talking about their experiences with the curses. Some had considered keeping them for certain sports advantages. There was a rumor of one boy who was said to be absent this day because he wanted to keep enjoying being a sexy girl for a while. Some thought his (her?) dessicated corpse would be found in his/her room in a few months.
Akane's friends were asking her why she was still there. "You can fly, can't you? What's keeping you from going to China on your own?"
"And get there naked? Are you crazy?"
"How much can you carry as a duck? I would at least think a bra and panties..."
"And that's about all. It's just as bad!"
"Hey, if you're not willing to do what it takes..."
Stare of disbelief. "Well, if you ever get cursed to turn into a duck YOU can walk back from China in your underwear."
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That evening Nabiki had Ranma-chan dress up in some clothes she had bought for her over the past few weeks, looking forward to this night. Ranma had categorically refused to wear anything too 'girly'.
"Oh, come one, Ranma! Haven't you ever played dress-up?" She held up a slinky black dress.
"As a matter of fact, no. I'm not about to start." She chose a plain looking set of tight skirt, tank top, and club jacket.
The high heels were also a problem. "Never did any training that bound my feet like this."
"Now you know what we girls have to put up with just to impress you guys."
They arrived in an area not too far from the airport, in a warehouse with painted-over windows. Nabiki produced a card to get them past the gatekeepers. "I'm not even gonna ask where you got that," Ranma said.
Inside was a club with low lights, low music, and several types of gambling going on. Nabiki steered them straight toward a poker table.
"How much do you want to take them for?" Ranma asked in a low voice.
"We're going to break the bank," Nabiki replied.
Ranma made a note to ask how many such places there were in the Tokyo area, and how many Nabiki expected to break before getting blacklisted. He was sure most of them already knew his father only too well.
Nabiki sat Ranma down at a table and stood at her side. "This is about a month's worth of earnings for me," she said, handing over their investment. "Make this worthwhile."
Five hands later they were nearly broke. Nabiki hastily pulled Ranma away from the table. "I don't believe it! You can see how the hands will go, but you can't win them because you have the world's worst poker face!"
"Hey, I never actually played before. Pop always did it when we gambled for money."
"Great. Well, there are other games that don't depend on your face. Let's do roulette."
They recouped their losses at roulette and started to get ahead. The first time Ranma lost, Nabiki drew her back out. "Why did you do that?"
"You need to learn to control your greed," Ranma said. "If we never lose we get kicked out faster. We can take them for more if we make it look good."
Nabiki's face registered a look of surprise, as if she hadn't actually realized that she couldn't just take the house for all it had in one shot. Something like respect for Ranma began to form.
They spent some time at the blackjack tables, where Ranma again lost just enough to allay suspicion. Then back to the roulette table to finish the night. This time it was Ranma who seemed to throw caution to the wind and start a winning streak.
"What about making it look good?" Nabiki asked.
"I got an appointment," Ranma-chan said. Ranma's wasn't the only one whose poker face was lacking: the look Nabiki gave her indicated she knew where and with whom.
A few runs later they cashed out. "Well, guys, got some dancing to do," Ranma said. "It's been fun." She headed toward the door, gripping Nabiki's hand tightly. "Get ready to run," she whispered.
At the door, they were taken aside by a slight man in an expensive suit. "You've had a pretty good night," the man said. "The manager would like to extend his gratitude. If you'd like to step this way..."
Nabiki tensed as they headed up the stairs to the manager's booth. They were surrounded by large men with unfortunate faces. "Anytime, Ranma..."
"I guess you're here for the demonstration," Ranma-chan said.
"We've had quite a demonstration already, miss," the slight man said. "We were thinking of a demonstration of our own."
"Mine first. Saotome Secret Technique! FAST BREAK!"
Ranma-chan grabbed Nabiki by the waist and leapt at the curtained windows. They went crashing through, Nabiki just behind Ranma, protected by her body. Ranma landed deftly on the concrete and began running, carrying Nabiki fireman style, heading for home.
After a few blocks, she set Nabiki down. "We've lost them. You should be able to get a taxi from here."
"I take it you're going to try and help the sailor girls. Martial artist's business, ne?"
"I'm better trained than they are. I have better chances."
"You're really powerful enough to take that guy?"
"Piece of cake." She gave Nabiki a sparkling grin, snapped her fingers, and headed off over the rooftops.
Nabiki watched him go. "Dammit. I should have thought to bring my camera. The papers will want pictures..."
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Ranma-chan jumped the fence around the airport and ran across the runways to hide in an equipment shed. She quickly transformed and looked around for something to use as a weapon; not strictly necessary, but anything would help. She tried channeling her magic through a broom handle, which exploded, and steel and aluminum bars. The aluminum melted before building up a significant charge. The steel grew very hot but seemed to hold enough to fire a power blast on a par with Mars or Jupiter. "...dead... scream..." The words simply came to her. They created a power blast that blew out a wall. "It'll have to do for now," Pluto said, taking four bars and heading toward the terminal.
As she approached she saw the others in civilian guise running from what looked like police. They slowed when they saw Pluto running up. She went past them, holding her bars level with the ground, and slammed into the police, knocking them down.
Ami was suspicious. She gave them a close look. "Strange... very strange. She pulled out her pen. "MERCURY POWER - MAKE UP!"
"No - dont -" Pluto tried to stop her, but it was too late. All the Senshi started transforming.
Mercury activated her visor and scanned the stunned figures on the ground. "This - these police... they aren't human! They're clay figures!"
"Knowing that, I won't hold back!" Mars said. "FIRE SOUL!" The 'police' burned and broke up into dried clay.
"Did it. They weren't human after all," Mercury said.
"Not to mention you just gave away yourselves to Jadeite..." Pluto sweatdropped.
It was true. Jadeite was standing atop the terminal, with a commanding view of the airport. He laughed in a magically magnified voice and said, "Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter! I saw your true forms. Pretty flowers last only a short time... and your lives are limited to tonight!"
"I think we have a bit longer than that," Pluto shouted. "Come on down and face us like a man!"
"Do you think me a fool? Poor lambs, meet your fate!" He held up his hands, palms forward, fingers spread, and began to concentrate.
Pluto took some burning clay and threw it at the general. It knocked him back a step, forcing him to duck out of sight. Seconds later, however, he seemed to have recovered, to judge by some airplanes starting to move toward them.
The Inner Senshi began to run. Pluto sweatdropped again. "You've got to be kidding..." She ran at the lead plane and jumped on the forward landing gear, delivering a series of blows at the strut until it broke off.
The plane continued to pursue the Inner Senshi, its nose skidding along the tarmac. Pluto broke off the wing gear as well, leaving it flat on the ground. Its engines pulled it at a crawl along the ground for a few seconds before Jadeite gave up on it and focused on others. Pluto ran to the other Senshi. Planes were now converging from two directions. "Okay, I'll use Fire Soul -" Mars suggested.
"Don't waste your energy," Pluto said. "Jadeite is the one controlling them. We need to get to somemwhere safe. On top of the one I downed! Quick!"
They ran toward the stranded jet. As they were reaching it, the approaching jets suddenly stopped. Pluto looked up to see Jadeite's control interrrupted by a thrown rose.
"Do you enjoy tormenting little girls?" Tuxedo Mask said. He had appeared behind Jadiete.
*Blast*, Pluto thought. *If I'd gotten here just a little earlier I could have taken that spot...*
Jadeite was annoyed. "You again,Masked Tuxedo. I'll send you to Hell with them!"
"Damned villain, using magic against innocent people. I will not allow it!"
"Tuxedo Mask!" the Inners swooned.
Jadeite started throwing magic lightning. Tuxedo Mask dodged. Both flew into the air over the runways.
"Dammit..." Pluto cursed. "Can't get a clear shot!"
They watched helplessly as the two figures sailed overhead and landed in the bay. The watched in worry as a single rose floated up. Then Jadeite emerged, dry under a force field.
"Tuxedo Mask - " Mars cried.
"Oh no... he didn't - " Moon said.
"Your trusty Tuxedo Mask is dead!" Jadeite gloated. "Cry! Scream! that's all shallow-minded women like you can do without a man's help!" He gave an evil laugh.
"They've GOT a man's help!" Pluto said, charging up a bar. '...dead. scream..."
Jadeite disappeared before the blast could reach him. Pluto dropped her now-molten bar. Three more shots. She would have to find a way to pin him down. She looked around and sighted Jadiete off to the left, still gloating.
The gloating had gotten to the Inners. "These days only old men talk about men being better than women!" Mars said.
"To discriminate against women is a vestige of the feudal age!" Mercury chimed in.
"I'm opposed to sexual discrimination!" Moon said.
"Who's shallow-minded?" Jupiter said.
"We'll show you what women can do, Jadeite!" they all said as one.
Somehow Ranma-chan thought they were insulting *her*.
Jadeite was not impressed. "Stupid girls! Witness my power!" He renewed his control spell, moving the jets again.
"This way!" Pluto said, leading them to the de-wheeled jet. "Get on top! We'll need fog!"
They reached the grounded jet, where Mercury cast Shabon Spray. They had found in practice that she could effectively fog an entire valley; she knew she could cover the airport. Jadeite would be forced to come in after them.
He took the bait. He appeared on top of the cockpit; the Senshi were at mid-body. They dispersed, disappearing in the fog. "Where...?" He looked around.
"SUPREME THUNDER!" A lightning bolt hit him from straight in front. He ran forward along the body.
"...dead... scream..." A blast of wind knocked him forward. He stumbled and fell onto the wing.
Mars was now behind him, charging up a magic seal. "Ron-pyo-toh-sha-kai-jin-retsu-zai-zen!"
A tiara came flying out of the fog, forcing Jadeite to keep his head down and nearly decapitating him. A red-hot metal pole flew into the wing he was on just as another lightning bolt hit. The wing exploded.
The Senshi gathered close as the fog cleared. "Did we get him?" Jupiter asked.
"I don't see a body," Pluto said. "There should be one... I think he got away." She concentrated for a second. "But I don't see him troubling us anymore, either. He can't get away from his own people."
Sailor Moon suddenly cried out in dismay. "Waaaughhhh! We just destroyed a JET! How are we going to pay for that?" Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter were suddenly pale at the thought.
Pluto sweatdropped again. "We're superheroes. It comes with the territory."
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A slightly-charred Jadeite materialized before Queen Beryl. The lack of Senshi corpses with him was the last straw. "Fool! You come crawling back to me?"
"Queen Beryl - the true forms of the Sailor Senshi..."
"No excuses! Sleep forever!" Her eyes flared with energy, which then shot at Jadeite. His cry was cut short as he was encased in crystal. The assembled youma whispered among themselves. The example was well taken.
"Dispose of that," Beryl ordered. One of the youma dragged the crysal mass though a short-range portal. The queen turned to Nephrite. "The task now falls to you."
"Jadeite was a fool. I shall not disappoint you."
From the shadows at the edge of the great chamber, another figure gave a trademark Dark Kingdom Gloat. "Somehow, I think you will, Nephrite... and then..."
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The Inners wanted to stay at the airport and look for Tuxedo Mask. Pluto looked ahead several minutes and gave the go-ahead. "I'm sure he's none the worse for wear," she said. "I'm getting out before the SDF shows up. I got a major annoyance to deal with for the next few weeks." He took Moon by the shoulders. "I can't always be here, but you should know that you have the strength to do this. What's going to happen next will be hard, but there's no other way to get to the guizuishou. Be strong, Sailor Moon. Everyone's going to need you." She took off toward Nerima. On the way she glimsed the object of their worry dragging himself out of the bay and smiled.
Ranma-chan detransformed and hurried home. Strictly speaking, Happosai wasn't due to show up for another five weeks, but he would have to set up some special training in that time. Speed training was going to be the key, not only for them but a lot of his challenges. That, and a few trips to the library...
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AN: Akane getting the duck-curse: another concept I wanted to explore - what if she had been too slow to dodge Shampoo's splash in volume 9 chapter 1? Nabiki would surely fly to China and not worry about being naked when she got cured; she would probably end up borrowing clothes from the Amazons. Akane would demand a trip, and the fathers would demand Ranma at least accompany her.
A few other random concepts:
- Wheels of Ranma: Inspired by "The Wheels of If". Hikaru Gosunkugi is reading up on paranormal things; in a journal of parapsychiactric research he finds an article on an old American case from the 1930's of induced Multiple Personality Disorder, exhibiting several personalities in succession, a new one each day, each claiming to be from a different world, some giving amazing details on their worlds' histories.
He interprets the inducing method as a chi technique, and enlists the help of Ranma's enemies in using it against him. They succeed, sending Ranma cycling through alternate worlds representing a list of outcomes to his romantic situation: Alone and on the road, apparently having avoided all commitments; leading engagement to Nabiki; to Kasumi; to Ukyo; to Shampoo; to Kodachi; a gratuitous scene of him waking up amid all of them at once, on a nudist world; waking in a Victorian-seeming Japan, finding he has put all of the above in the hospital - and finding out by the end of the day they are all giving birth to his children; various minor characters, exotic possibilities, etc.
- A concept seen in several other anime: body-switching. Akane is on another one of her periodic attempts at learning to cook, and is trying to make curry. Her disastrous failure just happens to be the body-switching curry from Shojo Kakumei Utena. The usual possibilites present themselves, but more explosive is that the effect isn't easily reversed: in fact it wears off naturally, slowly, but leaves the victims with each others' memories. This allows them to gain insight into the other person's life and situation.
The most useful one: Akane/Ranma, where Ranma is disgusted by the idea of being a girl and tries all the harder to become a man, but Akane realizes she has been wrong about Ranma in many ways: he is not a hentai, he's a CHILD...
Nearly as useful: Kasumi/Ranma, which causes Kasumi to realize she was wrong about Ranma, he ISN'T perfect for Akane, and so she takes the engagement, at least until/unless Akane grows up a little.
- Another way to cure the Ranma cast's general obtuseness and willful blindness: Introduce an original character, a priestess with a chi/massage technique said to "improve chi flows" and "promote enlightenment." It works too well - Akane realizes Ranma is not a hentai, Ranma stops being so gratuitously antagonistic, Kasumi realizes Akane is not right for Ranma after all, the Kunos realize who the pig-tailed girl really is, Akane realizes who P-chan is, etc.