Privacy Policy- chapter one

Sonic and stuff belong to sega. Obviously.

This diary belongs to Sonic the Hedgehog.

DO NOT READ IT! I'm serious! It is PRIVATE!

Private = confined to or intended only for the persons immediately concerned; confidential.

So DO! NOT! READ! IT!

Hello Sonikku! In case you can't tell from the handwriting, this is Amy. And before you start yelling at me for writing in your private diary, YES I read your note at the front and YES I do know what private means.

But, since I'm very much in love with you, but, sadly, some of the time you don't seem very interested in me, I thought I should get to know you more so we can get along with each other better.

And what better way to get to know you than by reading your diary, hmm?

Mmkay then, I'm gonna read what you've written (which is not very much, you haven't even filled up half the book yet) and I'm gonna add my own comments! Hopefully then I'll understand you more, and then we'll be closer than ever!

Love you,

Ames

xoxoxoOOOO

---

SATURDAY 1

So, Vector gave me a diary for my birthday. Yup, today I turned fifteen! Go me! Of course, it's Manic and Sonia's birthday as well, but Sonia had conjunctivitis and couldn't come to the party earlier today. I got to see my little brother though. Man he's gotten tall.

Anyway, I think Vector got this diary second hand. There was a bit of writing on the front page which had been whited out with liquid paper.

I noticed that, Sonikku, and wondered what had been written underneath.

Anyway, I don't really like sitting down to write and stuff for long periods of time, so I probably won't be writing in this thing much...but right now I'm kinda bored, so I may as well describe today.

Well I woke up to find Tails looming into my face hollering out 'Happy Birthday' at the top of his lungs. Then he blew a noise maker in my face and gave me my present. It was a toothbrush and a chillidog coupon. Joy.

You don't sound very grateful. I mean, yeah, a toothbrush is a bit of an insulting present, but I know you used that coupon a lot. I saw you using it.

Then I went downstairs and saw Amy in the kitchen baking a cake.

YAY! YOU MENTIONED ME!

It was a strawberry cake. I hate strawberry, but I ate it to please her.

...so...you didn't like it? WAAAH! I went to a lot of trouble to bake that cake!

Anyway, after breakfast Tails set up balloons and streamers and stuff. Amy helped, but whenever I tried to do anything, I just seemed to get in the way. Balloons + sharp quills = loud popping sound.

Aww, it's not your fault you have sharp spikes!

While I was sitting there being bored, Manic came over and gave me all these CDs and videogames and stuff. I dunno if he bought them or stole them, but I guess it's the thought that counts.

He bought them, Sonniku. I saw him buying them. Your brother is cute, but I like you better xoxo

The Chaotix came over next, and Vector gave me this diary. Charmy gave me a random piece of paper with a scribble on it. I think it was meant to be a picture of me.

He's only six, you can't expect him to be the next Michelangelo or anything.

Espio gave me a book about meditation or something. It doesn't really sound like my sort of thing. As far as I can tell, you just sit cross legged, 'clear your mind' (whatever that means) and go 'OMMMMM' or something. I mean, how BORING is that?!

On the contrary, it's very relaxing. I tried it once, and it worked. I felt very calm after wards. Rouge told me once that the proper way to meditate is without clothes on. I dunno if that's true or not, but you know Rouge.

Anyway, I can't imagine you sitting still for very long. I guess that's a problem, you like to run so much got I can't keep up. Maybe if you learned to meditate, you'd slow down a bit so I could catch up? But slowing down probably doesn't appeal to you.

Eventually all the other guests arrived to Manic and I's party. I accidentally popped all the balloons when I walked into Tails' party area. Anyway, here's all the presents I got.

Are you going to write about anything else other than presents?

Knuckles gave me a sparkly rock. No idea what I'm meant to use it for.

It's an ornament, Sonikku. You use it for decoration. Not everything needs a purpose. It's just meant to look pretty.

Faker came, and guess what he gave me? A dirty look.

Hey, it's better than nothing!

Cream gave me a bunch of flowers and a home made card. She's so sweet. Cheese gave me a hug, which was nice of him/her. I'm still not sure what gender that thing actually is.

I think it's a 'he'. Do chaos have genders? Cream seems to alternate between 'he' and 'she', but she uses 'he' more often. Does that make sense?

Rouge gave me deodorant, which is again pretty insulting. I don't smell. What is with people giving me presents to do with my personal hygiene?

You don't smell, Sonikku. You're perfect! I think people just don't really know what to get you.

Anyway, we talked a bit, then had chillidogs for lunch, then Tails brought out a pinata. It was strange, that pinata.

Oh, I remember this!

No matter how hard we hit it, it just wouldn't break.

SO ANNOYING!

Knuckles and Amy got really mad. Amy's scary when she's angry. She sort of goes all red, like an overcooked lobster...

OI! That's not nice! I can't help it if my face goes red when I'm mad! Stop writing mean things about me!

Anyway, Ames pulled out her hammer and started bashing it, and Knuckles was punching away like there was no tomorrow, but that darned pinata just refused to break. Not even a dent!

That thing was sooo annoying. Seriously. I'm annoyed just thinking about it!

Eventually, Shadow pulled out a gun and shot the pinata. THAT finally broke it. We let Cream have most of the lollies, but.

Wasn't that nice of us.

Anyway, then Bokkun flew in and gave me a box, all beautifully wrapped up, and said it was a present from Eggman. As soon as I opened it, all these fleas leapt out and attacked me! Geez!

They attacked all of us, actually. I remember a lot of screaming and running around followed that.

Tails got out the flea spray and started spraying it everywhere. Then Cheese started sneezing. Everything stank of bug spray after that. Trust Eggman to ruin a good party.

My dress still smells faintly of that stuff. I was not amused.

Tails is so efficient. He's such a great friend, too. He just trusts me and doesn't ask too many stupid questions.

I'm a great friend too!

I can't be bothered writing any more. I'm hungry. I think I'll go out for a run now. So yeah, that was my birthday! Yay for me!

Yay for you indeed! Well that didn't give me much insight as to your personal life, except for the fact that you think Tails is really awesome.

Write more about me! I'm a big part of your life!

---

MONDAY 2

I haven't written in here for about four months. Wow.

I guess you're not a very dedicated person. Dedication is an important part of marriage, Sonikku. We'll have to work on this. I know you don't like to settle down and do one thing in particular, but I want to marry you one day, then we'll HAVE to settle down, right? Unless we become traveling gypsies or something.

I wonder what Chris is doing right now. I miss him sometimes, but he was kinda freaky. Even more freaky than Amy!

Hey! I'm NOT freaky! That's not nice! I never say bad things about you! Well not a lot, anyway. Anyway, I found Chris kinda weird too...

He's like a male version of Ames.

I take offense to that!

He was always following me around like a lost puppy or something. And he seemed to think he was my best friend, even though he spent more time with Amy and Tails than with me.

You have a point there.

Come to think of it, I spent a lot of time on Chris' world just sleeping on the roof.

That hurt, actually. I got the impression you were avoiding me and didn't want to spend time with me. I had to stand down below yelling up at you and you just ignored me.

I still sleep on the roof.

Once we get married you'll have to come down y'know, since we'll obviously be sleeping together, and I'm not about to sleep up there, so you'll have to come down.

Anyway, I'm bored and it's raining outside. Tails is in his workshop doing...something. Yeh. Okay, I'm gonna stop writing now.

That was a pointless sentence.

---

TUESDAY 3

I'm writing two days in a row. The joy.

Oh, joy.

I really hate Shadow!

Don't we all?

Well not 'hate' him, more 'am very pissed off by him'. He says the most annoying things with such a straight face!

I find that rather impressive.

Today, I had a fight with Knuckles and I, and I had him pinned to the ground when Mr Emo-hedgehog came up and asked why I was sitting on him! I mean, what kind of a stupid question is that???!

To be honest, if I had come up and seen you, I probably would've asked the same thing...

Looking back on it, I shoulda said something like "What's it to you" or "Mind your own business". Unfortunately, my big mouth came out with "He's my friend, I can sit on him if I want!"

...you...sit on your friends...?

Anyway, he raised an eyebrow and said, very calmly, "Riiight. I'll just leave you to continue...whatever you're doing...and I shall hope fervently that you do not use Tails as a sofa cushion."

...I'm not gonna comment on that.

Anyway, about half an hour later I was out for a run when I saw Amy standing there HUGGING FAKER!

A-wha?! I do not recall this!

She saw me and let him go, and he ran off. Then I asked her why she was doing that, and she said she thought it was ME! I mean, WHAAAT?! I look NOTHING LIKE SHADOW! Is Amy COLOUR BLIND or something?

NO! I am NOT colour blind! And you DO look the same...in certain light, anyway...

So that was my rather annoying day. Hmph.

Well soooorry. It's not like I'm IN LOVE with Shadow or anything! No, I am in love with you Sonikku, and one day we will marry and there will be lots of little Sonics and Amys running around...

---

WEDNESDAY 4

I'm writing in this thing for the third time a row. Why? Because Eggman's on vacation or summin, and life is really boring.

Quite.

I just spent all morning running, and I just had lunch so I'm having a rest before running some more. Then I'll probably have dinner, then run, then sleep, then wake up and run...

All you ever do, Sonikku.

Man, I need some excitement. Life's getting too monotonous. I could ask Jet to race me, I guess...

I don't like Jet. He's uppity. And he smells kinda funny...

So yeah, for lunch I had chilli dogs. I had chilli dogs for breakfast too.

I'm guessing you don't follow that 'two fruits, five veg' thing? Meh, I don't follow it either.

Then I saw Cream eating an ice cream in the park, and I got depressed because I am lactose intolerant and cannot eat ice cream.

Oh the tragedy. Poor Sonikku. Although that's a very small thing to get depressed about.

I can eat icy poles though. Mmm.

Okay, you can quit writing about ice cream and ice blocks now. Write about ME!

Then while I was running I saw Amy in a field picking flowers.

Wow. My wish is your command, eh?

She looked quite pretty, actually.

Daww, thanks, Sonikku.

That is, until a bee came and started buzzing around her face. Then she got mad and started hitting at it with her hammer.

...I have no memory of this incident!!! I'm pretty sure that never happened. Why do you write such lies??!

Anyway, I'm getting bored of writing, so I'll stop now.

You seem to get bored of this easily. I'm having fun, reading your diary. I never knew you thought such random things before.

---

SUNDAY 5

Dude, I think Amy keeps a diary too.

Yes, yes I do.

I'm pretty sure Tails keeps one as well.

Dunno about that.

...I wanna read theirs!

Oh no you don't! Don't you DARE touch my diary! YOU UNDERSTAND??!

I think Eggman's coming back from his vacation soon. Hopefully he'll have thought up some more stupid and easily-defeatable evil schemes for me to foil...

Easily-defeatable? I don't think that's a word, Sonikku.

Today while I was running this fat little kid came up to me and asked for my autograph. It was kind of freaky, he kept staring at me while I wrote.

He was probably a fan.

And then later, I saw all these kids lining up to ask Shadow for an autograph! And y'know what? He signed autographs as ME! He was pretending to be ME! Can you believe it??!

NO! I can't believe it! Of all the cheek!

They're as bad as Amy! Can't tell the difference between black and blue!

HEY!

That stupid faker! Next time I see him, I'm really gonna give him a piece of my mind! Seriously though, normally he hates being mistaken for me. Weird.

Weird indeed.

Anyway, what shall I write about now? How wonderful and awesome I am? I am super awesome and the fastest thing alive! There. I'm done now.

Yes Sonic, yes you are.

---

MONDAY 6

Today Tails and I made cookies! There was a thunderstorm and Tails was kinda scared, so we decided to do some baking to get his mind off the storm.

Aww, that's so sweet of you.

Only...I think we did something wrong, because when we took the cookies out of the oven, they were all stuck to the tray. We had to use a hammer and chisel to get them off. It was fun though.

You probably forgot to grease the tray or something. I remember that thunderstorm day. Cream was over at my place and there was a black out. We were suddenly plunged into darkness. Cream got really scared. Then we lit candles so we could see, and we almost burnt the house down.

Anyway, after out failed attempt at cookies, we played blind man's buff (or in our case, blind hedgehog's buff) and I fell down the kitchen step and hit my mouth on the corner of the cupboard. Now my tooth is really sore.

Poor Sonikku. I'll kiss it better?

---

MONDAY 7

It has been a week.

Um...yay...?

My tooth still really hurts, and I have a bad cold. I think I caught it from Knux, he was sniffling and coughing the other day. Anyway, I'm in bed feeling really crook, and I'm bored.

Poor you. I seem to remember you getting sick a while back. I brought you flowers, no?

Amy brought me this big bunch of orange flowers

I knew it!

and they keep making me sneeze.

...sorry...?

Knuckles came over about ten minutes ago and I asked him if he could make me some baked beans. He left the room and a few minutes later there was this huge explosion from the kitchen that rocked the whole house.

I think I can guess what happened.

Tails got really mad, kicked Knux out and refused to tell me what happened. Weird.

Knuckles obviously put the whole can of beans in the microwave, Sonikku. Duh.

Anyway, I'm gonna sleep now. I'm tired.

Good night then.

---

TUESDAY 8

Yesterday after I dropped off to sleep I had the most retarded dream. I was in the shower singing 'How do you solve a problem like Maria' and Shadow ran in with a gun and shot me. Then I was lying in a pool of blood bleeding to death!

NOOOOO! I'm gonna KILL Shadow when I next see him!!!

Then I suddenly woke up in this random jungle, and Amy came up dressed like a cave woman and all covered in dirt and stuff.

That's a stupid dream.

Then Amy started running in circles around me singing this weird chant in a really out-of-tune voice, and when I looked down, my fur had turned WHITE! And then no one could tell the difference between Silver and I!

But...Silver's head looks like a pine apple. Yours doesn't. Surely they could tell from that?

Then I woke up. Freaky.

Yes. Freaky.

---

SATURDAY 9

Been about a month since I last wrote. I read back on these diary entries and laugh maniacally.

Why, pray tell?

Today something really weird happened.

What, again?

I saw Jet wandering along carrying a rucksack, and challenged him to a race. He put down his back pack to race, I won, he stormed off and left his ruck sack behind.

I knew you'd win. You're awesome.

Anyway, I looked in his rucksack and found a random big egg. It was sort of football shaped and white, and very smooth.

Whoaahhhh...

Anyway, I stole the egg...well not really stole, more 'borrowed'.

Shame on you.

And I took it to Tails to ask him what it was.

What do you mean, 'ask him what it was'? It was an egg, obviously!

As soon as I handed it to him however, it cracked, and split open, and out came a yolk and egg white.

That's what generally comes out of an egg.

Then Tails and I both started laughing, for some reason. Anyway, at that moment Jet entered the workshop, demanding his egg.

Busted.

Then he saw the cracked egg shell and yolk and stuff on the floor and got very angry. Then he just turned and stormed out. It was so weird.

That is indeed weird.

I really must ask him about that next time I see him.

Yep, just like you needa yell at Shadow 'next time you see him'.

---

MONDAY 10

I saw Cream today. I was out for a run and she was frolicking in a sunny field, like she normally does. I wonder why her mother lets her just go out on her own. Eggman could be out there. It's kinda dangerous.

Although I suppose she and Cheese are pretty tough fighters. But still, she's only six.

If I ever had kids...I'd probably leave them with the mother (whoever she is). I mean, I couldn't carry them around with me on my runs, all day every day.

So that is why I could never get married, I'd be tied down by the wife-and-kids.

You have no idea how sad I'm getting. With marriage comes responsibility. You're a responsible hedgehog, no? You could still go out on your runs, just less often. That's part of being in love with someone, you have to make sacrifices.

---

TUESDAY 11

No, I am not writing two days in a row. This is a week Tuesday since I wrote that last entry.

Sort of confusing, but I think I get that...

Amy is very cute sometimes.

AWW! That made me sooo happy! Thank you Sonikku!

Unfortunately, more often than not, she is more annoying than cute.

...my eye is twitching, Sonikku.

She keeps following me around, like some sort of stalker...it's freaky! Although it's what she's been doing for the last, what, three years? I should be used to it by now!

I wouldn't have to follow you around if you SLOWED DOWN SO I COULD CATCH UP!

Although I guess I kinda like her following me around. Yeah it's annoying, but it's a regular occurrence by now. I guess it'd be kinda weird if she just stopped chasing me. It'd be kinda lonely.

So...you LIKE me annoying you by following you around? I don't mean to be annoying. I'm just devoted.

Anyway, it's not really the following-around that's annoying, it's the random-jumping-on-top-of-me.

I do NOT randomly jump on top of you!

Today I was standing, innocently eating a chilli dog, when someone leapt on me from behind and started strangling me.

It wasn't me!

It was Amy.

NO IT WAS NOT!

I think she was hugging me.

EHHH?! I was not STRANGLING YOU!

I started choking on a bit of chilli dog, and she didn't even notice. Just kept hugging me and babbling happily in my ear.

I was not only being strangled, I was being deafened.

I didn't mean to! I think you're exaggerating, Sonikku!

She finally let me go, when I was on the verge of passing out from lack of air. In fact, the other day, she ran up and started hugging Shadow around the neck, and he was trying to escape, but there is no escaping the FAN GIRL GRIP OF DOOM!

I'm NOT a fan girl! I'm a loyal follower and a freedom fighter!

I just stood there, laughing maniacally while Shadow's air was slowly cut off. Ah, sweetness.

I'm glad I made you happy by almost-killing-Shadow-via-tight-hugging.

---

THURSDAY 12

I never noticed before, but Rouge's voice is kinda like a man.

That's not nice!

And Tails' voice is kinda like a girl.

That is also not nice!

Maybe they should swap voices.

That was a very short and random entry, Sonikku.

---

FRIDAY 13

Fought Eggman again today. He had some retarded robots armed with electric thingoes. Pathetic.

You're so strong and awesome and cool and the best!

Amy managed to get herself captured, but I rescued her no problem.

Hey! I don't remember getting captured by retarded-robots-armed-with-electric-thingoes.

It's weird how she always seems to be the damsel in distress.

I am NOT!

But I must admit, she is very skilled with her hammer.

Why thank you.

---

That's all you've written Sonikku. It's not very much- there's heaps more in my diary, and I started around the same time as you.

Well I don't really feel that I know you any better, despite reading all that. At least I know now that you don't like me hugging you from behind. I'll keep that in mind.

I hope you're not too mad about me reading your diary. But you did leave it just lying around, so...

I had fun reading this, even if I didn't learn much else about you. All the same, I feel closer to you, and that makes me happy.

I love you,

Amy

xoxo

For the purposes of this story, Sonic was 14 when he went to Chris' world, Knuckles was 15, etc. I know that's not canon, but that's how it is for this story.

Also for the purposes of this story, the satAM, Sonic X and Sonic Underground characters know each other.

Thanks for reading, and reviews are appreciated.