Chapter 12: Freaks
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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In the Hida mountains, a storm raged.
The storm was not the cause of a warded boulder exploding. No lightning bolts came near it, not at the moment of explosion. The force came from behind it, from the cave it blocked.
Evil had awakened. An evil long contained, now finally free. Years of work, of careful hibernation and recovery of power, had gone into this moment. Now a diminutive being stood free at last to breathe the night air and roam the world once more.
It did not roam far. A hundred meters up the hill, THAT was when the lightning struck.
This only slowed it down. Soon it was roaming again. It knew where to find its captors. It knew what had to be done.
It began walking the dark and lonely road. A road that, for it, would lead to paradise.
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Akane encountered it first.
There was a commotion in the street on the way home from school. Some of her classmates were either running from, or trying to fight, a small, wizened figure that leapt at them with obvious lechery in its eyes. "Akane! Help! A pervert!"
So it was. A very OLD pervert. One that seemed to recognize her on sight. "AKANE! It's me! It's me!"
Akane blocked with her book bag. The other girls were amazed. "Akane! You know him?"
Akane looked at him. Something vaguely familiar... "Um... DO I know you?"
"You don't remember me?"
"Well... uh... wait! I'll try to remember!" She wouldn't normally give this sort of courtesy to a demonstrated hentai of any age, but there was something nagging at her.
"Don't... don't trouble yourself about me," the sobbing old man said. "Just allow me to... have a good cry in your BOSOM!" He leapt at her, only to be blocked again. This time she gave him a number of lumps, as she should have at the start.
"Ah! You're Soun Tendo's daughter all right! So high-spirited!" He tapped a foot.
"You... you know my father?"
"What? You mean you really ARE Soun's daughter?" Suddenly the old man looked surprised.
"I think you've got some talking to do."
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Akane led the man home. Her father's look said enough.
"Hello, Soun. It's been a long time." The old man waved.
Soun broke into tears. "Muh... MASTER! Oh, thank heavens you're safe!" He hugged the old man like a boa constrictor trying to crush the life from its prey.
"Hahaha! I'm as healthy as ever!" the old man said.
"Master?" Akane had picked up on that. Had this pervert taught her father at some point?
Soun, still keeping the old man immobilized in one arm, made a fist with his free hand and tried to hammer him. The old man worked an arm free and met the fist with a single finger. Soun's grip was instantly broken as he flew across the room.
Genma, already in panda form, played like one. The newcomer wasn't fooled. "Well, Genma Saotome! Haven't changed a bit, have you?"
[I'M JUST AN ORDINARY PANDA] he signed.
Soun had recovered. "Sao...to...me... you think you can run off and let me face this ALONE?" The panda looked as if he were about to do just that.
"What in the world is going on here?" Akane asked.
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Akane and her sisters sat through the story told by their father. All were reminded of the time Ranma had looked into their fathers' past. He had called it perfectly.
Now the old master, this 'Happosai', was back. The fathers wept at their recollections. "Ah, what golden memories!" Genma said.
"But you made one big mistake!" Happosai said, "You didn't finish me off!"
That they agreed on. "But it's still not too late!" they said as they struck again. This proved futile; Happosai proved he was still too strong for them. "Of course, we were only joking..."
"Ah, of course you were. Don't worry, I haven't come for revenge. I'm getting old. It's time to train the true heir to my Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts. That will be one of you."
They made to pack up and leave. "Where are you going?" Happosai asked.
"I just remembered I have to move to China," Soun said.
"I have to do some training," Genma added.
"COME BACK HERE!" Happosai moved to block their escape. "If you need to train it will be under me!"
"What about Akane?" Kasumi asked. "She practices the school, too."
"I can't train a girl!" he said. He could grope them, though. He leapt at Akane, who tore him from her chest and hammered him mercilessly.
"Not me!" she finally said. "If you're training anyone in this school, you're training Ranma."
The fathers brightened at that. "Yes!" Genma said. "My son is the student you want! A true man!" He looked around. "Where is that boy? Never around when you need him..."
The sisters could guess why. "Never around when he can see trouble coming..." Nabiki said. "True practitioner of Anything-Goes. Avoiding bad situations when he doesn't want to face them. Just like his father."
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An hour later, Kasumi was in the kitchen preparing dinner when Ranma came in. "Oh! Ranma! We have a guest. He said he was our fathers' Master."
"Is he?" Ranma asked. It sounded rhetorical. "When did he last see them?"
"Why... I think he said it's been at least ten years."
"Ten years. Did he know any of you?"
"Well, he did say he remembered Akane..."
"And Akane? Did SHE remember HIM?"
"Well, no...not fully..."
"Hmmm. If it was only ten years ago, she would have been, what, six years old at the time? She might not remember." He gave Kasumi a very unnerving look. "But YOU. You were nine. Your memory should be clearer. Do YOU remember him?"
"Well, no... I don't think he was ever at this house before. Mother wouldn't allow him here, I think."
"Ah. What did she say about him?"
Kasumi looked uneasy. She was trying to think. "Actually, she did say a few things about him... none of them good. She never mentioned him by name, but I think she blamed him for not being able to see Father very often before then."
Ranma nodded. "Sounds about right. I suppose he wants to pick up where he left off?"
"Yes. He said he wanted to train the true heir to the school. We figured..."
"That would be me," Ranma finished. "Well, I think someone he knows might have something to say about that..." He headed into the living room to face the music.
The fathers were immediately ecstatic. "RANMA! Thank heavens you're here! Where have you been! We've been waiting hours for you!"
"Ah ha," Happosai said. "So you're Genma's boy? Hmmm... Let's see what you're made of."
Ranma tried to dodge as fast as he could. He was an instant too slow. The old man leapt at him and caught his arm with his smoking pipe, sending him flying through the roof.
"Pathetic. Well, at least he's a boy, so I guess he'll have to do. I won't have to be gentle." He settled back down to his smoking.
Up on the roof Ranma found himself effectively paralyzed. "Ugh. The old freak is tough. This is gonna be real fun." He spent several minutes trying to loosen up and move. "Ummm... HELLOOO... I'M KINDA STUCK HERE..."
Akane eventually came up to the roof to retrieve him. Her attempts to set his joints right felt like they were only doing more damage. "I think your back went out," she said.
"I gotta try this again." Ranma managed to stand and hobbled down the stairs to confront Happosai again.
The old man motioned to the fathers. "They were just telling me something interesting. About the curses of Jusenkyo. They said I would like yours. Let's see it!" It was not a request - he leapt at Ranma again. This time Ranma managed to dodge once before being thrown into the koi pond.
"There," Ranma-chan said. "You like THIS, you old freak?" She posed as if for a cheesecake shot, sliding her shirt off her shoulder to nearly expose a breast.
"WOO HOO! Yeah! I think I'm going to like this!" Suddenly recognition dawned on his face. "Wait a minute... you... you... you're..."
"Come on. You can say it."
"LILAC! My Lilac! It's you!" He leapt to grab Ranma-chan's chest. She batted him away.
"Real convenient, this," she said. "Gives me all sorts of openings. So... I take it you know this body."
"Yes! Oh, how long I've waited for this day! To have my beloved Lilac again!"
On cue, Cologne hopped down into the yard, then onto the porch. "Hello, Happy. Long time no see. Not long enough, either."
Happosai was stopped in his tracks. "Wait... if she's Lilac... then you must be ... lil' Cologne?"
"So glad you remember me. Perhaps you also remember how the curse of Jusenkyo works. Your last visit was less than twenty years ago. And you've been stuck in a cave for ten of those years."
"Of course I remember!" he scowled. Then he began to cry. "So that means that ... my poor Lilac..."
"Is dead. Ranma is now the Lady's host. Which means he is OURS when his business here is done. You can't have him."
Happosai was hopping mad at this. "You can't tell me I can't have him! He's a son of the Anything-Goes School! Which I founded! I have more of a claim on him than you!"
"You can have him, if you can keep him. I trust you know how hard that will be. Show him, Ranma."
"Gladly." She stepped into the living room and adopted a martial stance. The old man moved to counter, so Ranma shifted to a different stance. The two of them began matching stances and starting a series of moves and fake-outs, never connecting.
"Are you guys just going to dance all night?" Akane asked.
"They're anticipating each other," Cologne explained. "Future sight against unpredictable moves. It's more of a mental exercise than a physical one."
The two slowed down, their moves becoming ever more peremptory, ever smaller. Eventually they seemed to be standing still, faces locked in grimaces of concentration.
"At this rate one of them is going to have a stroke," Akane said. She crossed her fingers and hoped it was the old hentai.
"No, just a headache." They both ended up falling over at the same time. "Get the asprin."
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"A rival of YOURS?" Usagi gaped.
"Old lecher who has caused trouble in our village since we were both young," Cologne explained. "I would think he's a match for me. I wonder about you, though. Having a weakness like his, you might actually find him easier to deal with than Ranma will."
"We know how to deal with lechers," Rei said. "He couldn't be worse than Grandpa."
"I daresay he's quite a bit worse. Both as a lecher and a master of arts."
"Sorry guys," Usagi held her hands up. "I'm not getting close to any known lechers if I can help it."
They were in Rei's room, doing a normal school study session when Cologne had come over with the news. This had at least mollified them about Ranma's not being in their battles for a while.
"Did Ranma give us anything new?" Makoto asked. "All we know is this Nephrite gets this Black Crystal at some point. Does he know when?"
"Or can he find it before Nephrite does?" Ami asked.
"He can offer nothing just now. All we can say is it will work out for the best."
"That's sounding too much like an ordinary prophet," Makoto said. "If he's going to be tied up for a while, why dosen't he leave us a list of things that are going to happen?"
Cologne eyed a book of the prophecies of Nostradamus on Rei's shelf. She took it down and showed it to the assembled Senshi. "I take it you are all familiar with this man?"
"Didn't he predict a bunch of stuff like 500 years ago?" Usagi asked.
"He wrote in coded poems," Rei said, "to avoid persecution. That's the way it usually is with prophets. They can't see things too clearly, and when they can they can't speak clearly because they would be persecuted by the Church, or kings who don't like what they have to say..."
"Our Lady's hosts have never had much respect for him," Cologne said. "He published his prophecies shortly before he died - he should have seen that coming, and not have been concerned for his own life. And if his prophecies had proven accurate, they could not have been suppressed effectively. People are desperate to know the future - they will follow any charlatan who sounds like he can do it."
"They're always vague because they can't really see the future," Rei said. "They have to fake it and give messages that could mean anything."
"True. If someone gave precise prophecies, they would be at risk of being ignored after their first error. But what if someone wrote a clear book of prophecies that was NEVER wrong?" She now held up Ami's history book. "What if someone dropped a book like this into a European school in the year 1900?"
"Somebody would ace history," Usagi said.
"Or get rich," Makoto offered.
"Or throw it away as a crank," Rei said.
"What they would do," Cologne said, "is think it a curiosity and put it on a shelf for a few years. And when the events it listed as happening in the future after it was found started happening as predicted, people would come back to it and look at it in a new light. And see that the worst war in history would begin with an assassination they could prevent. And when they do that - what next?"
"They keep using the book?" Usagi guessed. Cologne's expression indicated this was the wrong answer.
"Once you prevent the First World War, the whole of history afterward changes. Most of a generation of European manhood does not die, but instead lives to become husbands, fathers, productive citizens. Nothing is the same. The book now describes a history that isn't going to happen. It becomes worthless."
Understanding dawned. "So basically it can only be used once," Usagi said.
"Shaping history through truly accurate prophecy is necessarily interactive. The future the Prophetess sees sometimes changes according to what uncertain people decide, but it ALWAYS is affected by the Prophetess' actions - mostly her decision what to tell people, and when. If someone acts on information she gives, she must work out the future again - and that takes time. If anything alters our timetable at this stage, it might lead to an outcome that can't be recovered from, or it might take too long to see the proper path forward in the new conditions."
"So basically, Ranma's saying we just do what we would have done without him and we've got it in the bag!" Usagi was easy to reassure, but the others caught her enthusiasm.
"As things stand," Cologne finished, "we WILL get the guinzuishou and win this war if we let things follow their course."
She didn't mention, of course, that they had a right to be apprehensive. There was no point describing the pain they would suffer as a result of this proper path to victory. In the end, they would have to be Soldiers.
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Ranma was used to struggling for control of his life. He knew how these things went. A good starting strategy for him had often been open challenge.
"Hey, old freak!" He interrupted Happosai's breakfast food duel with Soun. "I challenge you to a fight!"
"As you wish." Happosai pulled out a brassiere and held it up. "And if you win, this is your prize."
"What do you take me for, you..."
"Eh? Don't like it? But I spent so much on it!" Happosai sobbed.
"If I win, you leave! Okay?" Naturally, he would not mention implicitly accepting the old man's condition.
"Okay. One word of warning, though... if you don't wear it, they'll sag!" He pointed at Ranma's now-manly chest.
BONK. "Let go of it."
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He agreed to fight at Furinkan, in front of Ranma's classmates. "Do even YOU have a chance, Ranma?" Akane asked on the way there. "He stared you down last night. And he did train both our fathers, you know."
"I'll wear him down," Ranma said, walking on top of a chain link fence along the canal. He knew he would not fall in unless pushed.
Happosai arrived late in the day carrying a bag full of ladies' undergarments. "About time you showed!" Ranma said as he leapt to intercept the incoming hentai reaching the yard.
"Oho! Ranma, my boy! What timing! Catch!" Happosai threw the bag at him. He batted it away and chased him around the corner of the school building, catching him off guard as the old man caught his breath.
He gave Happosai a smack to the back of the head. "Freak! Did you come here just to steal underwear or what?"
"Hmm... I did have a reason to come... but I can't seem to remember..."
"Well, then, I guess I'll have to refresh your memory." Ranma cracked his knuckles. "How about THIS, pervert?" He threw a punch to draw him out.
Too slow; suddenly the old man was sitting on his outstretched arm. "Oh, that's right! I came here to fight you!" He dodged several blows and bounced up into the trees. "Come and get me!"
Ranma tried. "Fight me!"
"If you make me one promise! If I win you become a girl and wear this for me?" He had the brassiere with him.
"I said LET IT GO!" A chase ensued, taking them through a number of girls on their way out of school, every skirt getting flipped up.
He was momentarily stopped by Akane. "Just what are you doing?" she asked.
"I just thought I'd enjoy my duel for a bit."
"You call what you're doing a duel?"
"It's Ranma's fault! All he has to do is wear the bra, but NOOO!"
"Did you have to say that out loud?" Ranma caught up and gave Happosai a bonk.
"Why not do it for him, Ranma? It's only a bra!" Akane suggested.
"Are you nuts?" He wouldn't think of it.
"You're just afraid you'll lose," Happosai taunted. "If not... why not agree?"
Ranma held his ground for a moment, conflicted between his pride as a martial artist and as a man. As tended to happen with him, martial arts won. "All right, then. I give you my word."
"For real? You promise? If you trick me, I'll cry!" Happosai was suddenly all over him. Ranma threw him to the ground, hoping to bash the old man's head, but no such luck; he landed easily right side up.
"No need to worry." Happosai suddenly began to release a huge amount of chi, creating an illusion of himself as large as a truck. "Here I come!"
The two remained frozen for several seconds. Ranma tried to move, finding it difficult. A direct chi attack - he had to be able to resist that sort of thing now. He summoned his own chi and forced himself to move. "I... will DIE... before I WEAR THAT!" He broke free and lunged.
"Still able to move after I struck him with my battle aura? I am impressed!" The old man leapt at him again, this time projecting a huge grasping hand. He nearly had Ranma...
Until the girls' track team went by. He disappeared momentarily as they ran on. Ranma and Akane found him, as expected, in the girls' locker room.
"He's no ordinary dirty old man..." Ranma said. "He's an EXTRAORDINARY dirty old man."
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Their erstwhile 'training' continued the next day at a public bathhouse. The household tub had sprung a leak, forcing everyone to take their baths elsewhere. It became a contest between Happosai trying to get to the womens' side and Ranma trying to stop him.
Happosai become frustrated with Ranma's success - and his remaining in male form. "Say, Ranma, let me wash your back!"
Ranma smacked him down. "I don't want you behind me!"
"I'm only trying to improve our master-disciple relationship!" he objected.
"You're trying to hit me with cold water from behind. I ain't falling for that!"
"Then how about from the front?" He was sitting on a faucet, which he now used. Ranma was suddenly female, being sprayed with cold water.
That at least got him a visit to the womens' side briefly. Akane and Nabiki were there, in bathing suits. "You think we'd come without swimsuits knowing YOU'RE here?" Nabiki asked.
The bathhouse fights continued like this for several nights, featuring mostly thrown small objects, of which bathhouses had plenty available. Happosai, naturally, claimed it was better for Ranma to be in girl form for this.
"You don't know how to use your powers fully yet, do you?" he said at one point. "Having trouble seeing me?"
"I can see you real well," Ranma said, throwing soap bars at him.
He kept dodging around everything Ranma threw. "Oh, no you don't! Your sight can be clouded by a proper aspect of martial arts. I had to learn that to get around Lilac's guard... I'm just trying to teach you the same so that you can be harder to predict as well!"
Ranma treated this as just an excuse, but later he would see Cologne about it. "There may be something to this," she judged, "but it's also possible that having a high chi level will also allow you to penetrate his clouding. You will have to take what 'training' he offers for the time being, but we will see if we can't simply overpower him."
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Ranma ducked out of Happosai's room just before Kasumi could pass by in her cleaning. He didn't want her asking why he was there. Being so innocent was her shining virtue, but in this case it could also be a problem. If, no, WHEN the old geezer came back from his almost-daily neighborhood panty raid, she would naturally tell him if she had seen anyone coming out of his room, and he would know his things had been raided.
Happosai had brought his possessions in the day before. Many of them were books or scrolls with esoteric knowledge, things he obviously wouldn't want his students to know - yet. Ranma had gotten a few glimpses of how important they would be.
He was now headed to the library to photocopy a few scrolls, the most important one being a moxibustion chart. Let the old freak try using the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion. He would have charts wtih the cure stashed all over the city - including with Ami and Rei.
The bracelet he found was a different matter. He had spent much of his projection time last night determining which of the love pills was the lifetime one. The momentary and day pills he left in; they didn't matter. The lifetime one he had now replaced with an asprin.
The cunning and mischevious part of him was sorely tempted to use it to resolve at least one of his problems. Give it to Akane when she was about to be alone with Kuno, perhaps, and they would live happily ever after. Likewise with Ryoga and Kodachi, though it would take longer for the Lost Boy to show up. Or Nabiki and some random boy, just to get her off his back for good. Or even Mousse, if he could find him and catch him in human form, with some random woman; though even if he didn't care if Shampoo was the Lady's host, he would still want it back in his village.
In the end, however, given time to plan far ahead and think about what he was doing, he just couldn't do it to anyone. He valued his freedom, and he didn't like the idea of being mind-controlled in any way. He wouldn't inflict this on anyone else.
He stopped in the bathroom, crushed the pill to powder in his grip, and flushed.
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Happosai's rampages around town had not gone unnoticed by the neighborhood watch. A representative discussed the matter of the (to them unknown) panty thief and requesting help.
"Leave it to us," Soun said. "The Tendo Martial Arts School will bring the culprit to justi..."
They were distracted by a dark shape flying by outside the door with a bag full of women's underwear in tow. "Did something just go by...?" the representative asked.
"You must have imagined it," Soun said.
"Anyway, I don't know if it can be used as a lead, but we do have a few photos of the crime scenes." He produced several pictures of Happosai in action, some obviously posed.
Ranma and Akane arrived home from school at that pint. Ranma examined the pictures for himself. "Looks more like proof to me," he said. "You know, you guys were his students too. I think it's time you did your part in stopping him."
Soun feigned illness. Ranma could do little about him, but he had more moral authority over his own father. He had to convince him to stop being a panda long enough to stand up to Happosai. He shoved the panda before their master. "Pop wants to have a word with you," he said.
Happosai was patient. "What is it Genma?"
[Um... uh... hello master?]
"For this you interrupted my meditations? I'm a busy man!"
[I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU LOOKING WELL, MASTER!]
Ranma started making his own signs to put in his father's hands. [YOU LECHEROUS OLD FART!] [I, GENMA SAOTOME, WILL BRING YOU TO YOUR STUPID, PERVERTED KNEES!]
It worked. "How dare you speak that way to your master!" He gave the panda a bonk.
"C'mon Pop! Show the old man your fists of justice!" Ranma encouraged.
[I DON'T WANNA!]
Well, if he was good for nothing else... Ranma simply threw the panda at the old man. Happosai threw him through the roof with his pipe.
Ranma wasn't finished. During the hang time he changed to girl form and tried to show some cleavage. This moved the elderly hentai just enough to be hit by Genma's landing. That allowed most of his recently stolen underwear to be recovered. The fathers merely groveled before Happosai.
"Shouldn't one more person be bowing before me...?" He gave a hard look at Ranma.
After some 'encouragement' from his father, he decided the panda would remain useless. "I DON'T BOW TO NOBODY!" He smashed the panda through the roof.
It looked like he would be staying at Ucchan's for a couple of days...
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A few days later some herbs arrived through Cologne. This had actually been Cologne's suggestion: an herb that, when warmed by human body heat, produced an odor that women, but not men, found repellent. She claimed there was a similar herb for repelling men, which her village had used in battles to great effect - apparently a discovery of one of Ranma's predecessors as the Lady's host.
Ranma had a nagging feeling he should have been the one to bring it back from China with him, but as long as he had it, he it didn't matter. He approached Kasumi to do some sewing, knowing Nabiki had no skills.
"I'll do it!" Akane offered when he explained what needed to be done. "Besides, I want to sew something."
"Well, why don't we let her, Ranma?" Kasumi insisted. Ranma found he could not go against her suggestions. And he just didn't feel right involving her in his plans.
It was effective; not only against the women of the neighborhood, but Ranma-chan as well. He had a gas mask available for this contingency. This did, however, have a bonus: it created more chances for Ranma to deal with Happosai leaping at him rather than him having to chase the hentai around the neighborhood. These chances were necessary for learning Happosai's own trick of throwing an opponent with a pipe, fan, or chopsticks.
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The campaign against Happosai came to a turning point when the fathers finally got the will to stand up to him. Soun donned his armor, Genma changed to panda, and together they set out to confront the hentai in the shopping district. "Happosai, the source of all this evil... now he shall be brought to justice! Now is the time to take revenge for all he has done to us!"
[NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE BOW TO HIM]
"Live or die, we fight together!"
One of Nabiki's friends stared at them as they marched through the streets. "Say, Nabiki, isn't that guy in armor your father?"
"Never seen him before," Nabiki said, trying not to look at him.
Happosai landed on Soun's helmet after a throw by Ranma. Genma attacked at once. Ranma was quickly on the scene to follow up.
Happosai remained focused on his ongoing fight with Ranma. "That did it! Now you're going to pay!"
"Come and get me! I'm no teddy bear like my old man!"
The three of them smashed into the old man ruthlessly. "For an evil spirit such as this, there can be no mercy!" Soun yelled.
They pummeled him until he was a shapeless pile in the street, but he was not to bee undone by mere physical blows. His aura erupted again, soaring to new levels.
Soun and Genma, who knew something of their Master's aura, were not impressed. "This battle aura is nothing!" Soun said.
Unfortunately, his battle armor made him to heavy to run away. Happosai knocked him down and turned to Genma. "You really are pitiful," Akane said to her father as he lay injured.
Ranma was ready to face aura combat again. He had been working up his own chi level to try to create an aura to compete. "I'm not afraid of you!" He started to concentrate.
His father didn't let him finish. [I, TOO, HAVE MY PRIDE!] He raised his own aura.
Ranma recovered to see two giant images growing over the neighborhood. Well. if his Pop could do this, then they would at least see if it worked. He watched as the two prepared to fight true aura combat.
No blows were exchanged. The two auras grew to gigantic size, then the panda suddenly shrank away. "After all this time you still haven't passed him!" Ranma demanded. Then he noticed Happosai, also drained in the street.
"They're both drained..." Akane said.
Ranma quickly looked around for cold water. Unfortunately, none was at hand. By the time they got home and he could change, Happosai had recovered. His interference in Ranma-chan's Sight did seem a bit less, though.
*Ah ha. So maybe we can beat this thing...*
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Luna was nervous at being in the Nekohanten, but Cologne was reassuring. "We don't cook cats here. Or any stray animals. and we keep a pot of warm water in case anything looking too intelligent comes in."
"That's not all that's making me nervous," the mooncat said. "Becoming a human ..."
"The water charged by the dust will only be good for a few hours. Plenty of time to get what we need. The rest of you will also have to go through this. It may help us greatly."
"Gee, Luna, now you get to know what it feels like!" Usagi was excited. "I wonder what you'll look like."
"I'm sure she'll be pretty," Makoto said.
The Senshi were all hushed Cologne dumped the packet of dust in a child's bathing tub of cool water. Shampoo had taken one of her spare sets of silk clothes from a closet, and was now putting tight rubber gloves on her hands. A squirrel's paws wouldn't be able to reach the necessary shiatsu points.
Luna closed her eyes and leapt into the tub. The Senshi gasped as a fair-looking young woman emerged, like Venus from a seashell. She had long black hair with four odangoes, pale skin, and a Western appearance.
She shivvered, tottered on unfamiliar feet for a moment, then took the clothes Shampoo handed her and began to dress. "This feels... not strange at all," she said. "Somehow, it feels... natural."
"Such are the curses of Jusenkyo," Cologne said. "The cursed form is as comfortable as the normal one; those who fall in springs of four-legged animals can walk and trot as the animals do. One who fell in the Spring of Drowned Octopus had no trouble using his eight arms."
"Octopus?" Ami sounded like her sensibilites had been offended. "But they breathe water! Aren't these springs supposed to be of DROWNING victims?"
"Salt water species," Cologne said. "Poisoned, or perhaps suffocated, in fresh water. As long as they died in the spring, the magic seems to take an imprint. There's a spring we call the Chimera, where a group of animals including an eel imprinted. Yeti, ox, crane, and eel. They all make up part of the same cursed form."
"Wow," Usagi said. "How did they all go in at once?"
"Long story. Let's get to work for now..."
Luna sat in a chair as Shampoo applied her herbal shampoo and started her massage. "It may not all come to her at once, you understand," Cologne warned. "Some things will come immediately, but you should get all you're going to by the end of the day. Best you get a good night's rest and everything will be clear in the morning."
"What about Mamoru?" Rei asked. "We have to get him too, don't we?"
"We've made an appointment with him after all of you are done. I wouldn't recommend meeting with him until tomorrow to be sure. He does know there are deep memories he needs dug up. He's willing to try this sort of thing."
One by one they submitted to Shampoo's expert care. They all left a bit woozy. "I feel strange," Makoto said. "Like I'm two people."
"We'd better get back home," Rei said. "Give this thing time to work."
They would all wake up crying in the night. Even Luna.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
*I wish I had been the squirrel,* Nabiki thought. *Wolves aren't exactly common around here.* She envied Shampoo's ability to spy anywhere in the city unsuspected, even if she never used her cursed form that way.
Akane had once again become a duck to spy on Ranma. She was currently swimming in the nearby lake with some other ducks. Nabiki, on the other hand, had come in human form; she would never have gotten into the park in midday as a wolf. She resorted to her time-tested spying methods, wearing Akane's clothes as she sat a discreet distance away on a park bench.
Ranma-chan seemed to be doing the same. The target of her attentions sat on yet another bench further around the lake. Nabiki recognized the girl with the ridiculous hairstyle as one of the sailor girls Ranma sometimes met with at the Hikawa shrine or near the Nekohanten. She wondered why Ranma wasn't just walking up to her now.
She got up off her bench and headed around the park, going off the paved walkway around behind Ranma and the girl. The girl did not notice Nabiki plant a recorder in the bushes behind her before heading back to her bench.
She sat down just as a tall young man appeared. From the girl's reaction, they knew each other. It looked like a very awkward meeting. Like they hadn't seen each other in... a lifetime, maybe.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Usagi sat on the bench nervously trying to remember her own name. Who was she anymore? Usagi? Serenity? Was there any difference? SHOULD there be?
*Past lives can be so confusing,* she thought. *I'll have to see how everyone else is taking it later.*
He walked up, still handsome as ever. Her heart skipped a beat. What to call him? she had to ask point blank. "Have you...? Are you...?" The words caught in her throat.
"Serenity?" No annoyance or contempt; love, tenderness, attraction instead. He knew.
"Endymion?" she broke out into tears. She rushed to him, held him. To be apart for so long... and now...
They stayed there for what seemed like hours, holding each other. They held their heads down, then up, looking into each others' eyes, vision blurred by tears. They closed their eyes and shared a deep lovers' kiss.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Nabiki could not resist. She gave up the stealth act and walked right up behind Ranma-chan. "You could stand to take lessons from them, Ranma."
"I'll never be that good," she said. No surprise at Nabiki's voice.
"I can't hide from you, can I?"
"Even as a guy I would have sensed you. Martial artists need to know what's going on around them. By the way, you should help Akane." She pointed to a commotion among the ducks in the lake.
"What is she doing? That girl gets into trouble with everyone she meets."
"I think those ducks are guys..."
Nabiki sweatdropped. "She just can't keep them off her whatever she is..."
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Ranma returned to Juuban that evening to meet with the Senshi. They were ready to come to terms with the past.
Mamoru was there as well. He and Usagi sat close together, holding hands. It was like night and day with them: from being strangers who annoyed each other, to the closest of lovers.
"I didn't get anything out of it, myself," Ranma-chan said. "I may... host... Pluto, but I wasn't really reincarnated from her. I don't have her past life to remember. What about you guys?"
They all looked at Usagi. "We remember a lot," she said. "Not everything, but a lot. Court intrigues, training, fighting. You wre right, I was a princess. Not a spoiled type..." - she must have known what everyone thought of her now - "but full of grace and caring. The other Senshi... I don't think were all that different than they are now. They were court ladies, attended balls, that sort of thing."
"We don't remember anything about you or the Outers," Ami said. "I think they didn't usually come to Court. We never even *heard* of Pluto before - I think she was so top secret even *we* weren't allowed to know."
Ranma nodded. "The other Outers, Uranus and Neptune, I think are supposed to protect the Solar System from outside invasion - but they didn't respond to a direct attack from the Earth?"
"No," Rei said. "It wasn't their duty."
"A poor definition of their duties," Cologne said. "If they were distracted by an invader, possibly I could see it. We will have to see if the Dark Kingdom made any allies from outside. But if not, their greater duty should have been to protect the Kingdom from whatever threats materialize."
Ranma agreed. "I'm a bit worried about the last planet, Saturn. I can't see far enough to see her getting involved in this fight, so I can't find where she is. Maybe she isn't in the Tokyo area. Do any of you remember a Sailor Saturn?"
None of them did. They decided to let that matter wait. Perhaps Uranus or Neptune would remember something when they got shampoo'ed.
"Luna also gave us this," Usagi said, pulling something out of her bag. It was a short wand with a large crescent on it, mounted off-center to look like a crescent moon when the handle was held vertically. "She said it could break some enchantments. Mind control, and transformations, if some innocent person got taken over."
Ranma-chan reached out to it and touched it. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to see it in use. She saw the solution to a lot of problems in Nerima as well as their battles with the Dark Kingdom lay in it. "Yes. The Dark Kingdom will use those tactics. This is really important."
"I think this is going to help a lot," Makoto said. "With Mamoru as a full-time member, it's like fighting with a full team."
"The full team will include Venus," Ranma reminded them. "We can't move up her family schedule. She's stuck in England until they move back to Japan. I don't think we can mount a full attack until then."
"And you may want more complete training," Cologne adivised. "Ranma sees himself gaining strength all the way up to the latest possible date for a final battle."
"I want all the strength I can get..." *If only I dodn't have to deal with perverts to get it...*
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
The next day Ranma was at school in Phys Ed class when Soun leapt in his face. "Ranma! It's a dojo destroyer!"
Genma, in panda form, came up behind him. He handed Ranma a letter. Akane came over from the girls' side of the field to read over Ranma's shoulder.
"I'll be back this Saturday," Ranma read.
"If you win, I'll return your sign," Akane finished.
"Do you want to take him alone?" Ranma said.
Soun wouldn't hear of it. He grabbed their shoulders and faced them to each other. "Both branches of the Anything-Goes School should stand together! After all, that will be YOUR sign to defend someday."
"I think we'll have to go through several signs before then."
An unwelcome voice came from nearby. "Fair Akane. I bid your family greetings."
Akane developed a red battle aura. Arms held at her sides, fists balled. "Kuno! You... you DARE show your face to me!" She exploded at him, hammering him with blows from all sides, but he deflected all with his bokken, retreating as needed.
"Peace, Akane Tendo," he said cooly, even as the onslaught continued. "I come with an offer."
"After what you did to me? To my SISTERS? We don't want anything from you!" She renewed her assault.
"I admit I was... hasty in my choice of strategy. But what I have inadvertently done can now be undone."
Akane paused, ready to continue. "You got more water from China?"
"More or less." He produced a Jusenkyo Spring Products catalogue from his robe, opened to the page listing Instant Spring packets. "I have acquired some packets of dust from the Springs of Drowned Girl and Boy. They would make ordinary water like as to their Springs."
"So we can have our curses lifted...?" Akane relaxed. "All of us...?"
Soun leapt on Kuno, knocking him flat. He grabbed the boy's robe and shook him, getting in his face. "WHERE! Give them to us! Save my daughters!"
"Dad! You're choking him!" Akane pulled her father away.
Nabiki now ran up. "What's this about a cure? You've got something, Kuno?"
Kuno recovered his dignity. "Indeed. I would offer it to the Tendo family... for a favor."
There could be no mistaking what favor he would want. Soun tearfully shoved his youngest daughter forward. "I give you my permission to marry her."
"DAD!"
"Akane! Though hit breaks my heart, you must be strong! Become a WOMAN! Think of you sisters!"
Kuno was overwhelmed. "I am flattered, good sir, but I would not impose marriage at this time."
"You're not?" Eyes went wide all around.
"Whatever you may think of me, I am first and foremost a gentleman. I would ask only a date with her."
Nabiki added her hand to Akane's back. "Do it, sis. I'll clear half your debts."
"NABIKI!" Akane raged.
"Only half?" Ranma asked. "You got bargaining power, Akane! Go for all of it."
Nabiki shot Ranma an annoyed glance. "Seventy-five. Final offer."
"I'd sooner die!" Akane threatened.
"How does Sunday sound?" Ranma suggested over Akane's protests. "We have a challenge fight on Saturday."
"Done!" Kuno said. "I shall have small pools prepared for boys and girls."
Nabiki drew Ranma aside. "Can we get Shampoo to invade the grounds and steal that packet?"
Ranma knew what Shampoo would say to that. "I'll ask..."
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
"The answer's STILL no!" Akane grumbled on the way home.
"Come on, Sis! It's just one date!"
"Why don't we all just take a dip in the pool with him and then YOU can eat him?"
"She'd blow up," Ranma said. "Curses are broken by death. She'd have a man bigger than she is in her stomach..."
That turned both sisters green until they got home. Once there, and sufficiently calmed to eat dinner, they explained the offer to Kasumi. Everyone knew Akane wouldn't refuse after encouragement from her.
Everyone was right. "Akane..." the eldest sister said, "sometimes we have to just swallow our pride and do what's right. And I know if he tries anything too forward you can just deck him."
Akane still looked disgusted at the prospect of entertaining Kuno. "Alright. Just this once. And we NEVER speak of it again."
Ranma now turned to her. "Don't worry, Akane. All of you. I PROMISE next Sunday your curses will be cured forever..."
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
AN: Last idea for a while...
I've been fascinated for some years by an idea for a world setting to explore, suitable for a lot of high-school themed anime, and perhaps older sets as well. Basically, it's a world where humans are fertile for five-year windows separated by generation-long barren periods, fifteen to thirty years. Thus, for a twenty- year barren period, all human children born in the 20th Century would have been born, say, 1900-05, 1925-30, 1950-55, 1975-80. Outside of these five-year breeding seasons, no one feels sexual urges.
The idea is to create a world with narrow, sharply-defined generations, which greatly simplifies how older generations manage younger people. Men would likely be expected to wait out their first five-year breeding season, satisfying themselves with brothel women. Girls, even 14-year-olds in the lower-end case of a 15-year barren period, will be mostly married before the season begins; there will seem to be no choice, their parents MUST accept them as adults. For a serious exploration of concept, a 20 or 25 year barren period will do,ensuring everyone is old enough to have minimal skills and character development for parenting and any shortcomings in their children have fewer excuses. For anime settings, the fifteen-year barren period is more intriguing, but to do it properly - girls looking to marry same-season boys - it might require a major war.
My reasoning: We should expect second- and third-season men have priority in choosing wives, while women, by and large, are expected to only get one breeding season, so they MUST produce, ready or not. Thus the historical norm, and preference, will be for first-season wives married to second- or third-season husbands, whom they expect to outlive, giving them independence later in life. Over time, however, avoidance of marriage and responsibility becomes more than just a preference for first-season men: they will at some point get virtually locked out of the marriage market. A World War One-type slaughter will be needed to break the lockout, removing a generation of men so that the next breeding season afterward, there aren't enough older men to go around and the first- season women must marry same-aged men. This sets up a high school situation where the girls are looking for marriage among boys who require some convincing.
Of course, one could postulate any length seasons, such as a 6-and-18 or 7-and-21 pattern; whatever you're comfortable with.