Chapter 15: Head Games
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
I know, this section sounds a bit weak. I'm not sure the Nabiki engagement arc is really necessary, but I figured Ranma would want her out of the picture at last by creating it himself. I tried to figure out how it would go...
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Genma grunted as he slammed into the ground. He rolled out of the way to avoid Ranma's plunging kick, recovered his feet, gave a few more steps as his son advanced behind a series up swings, and jumped backward into the koi pond to submerge.
He came up to get a kick in the head, sending him flying back onto the grass again. Ranma gave him time to get to his feet, cursing profusely as he did so.
"What's the matter, pop?" Ranma taunted. "Not so easy to win if you can't just overpower me, is it?"
"It certainly is harder for Mr. Saotome to win now that he can't become a panda, is it?" Kasumi observed as the Tendos watched the morning sparring.
"Yup," Nabiki said. "Without the extra mass, he just dosen't have an advantage anymore."
"Yo, pop! Ya hear that?" Ranma continued as they engaged again. "Were you getting weak? Relying on your curse -" Ranma was cut off as he had to dodge a flying kick.
"I rely on nothing! You should learn to as well!" Genma retorted.
"Well, Ranma has definitely been winning their sparring sessions more often since we got cured," Akane said.
"It's entirely due to my training," Happosai sagely boasted. "Ranma wouldn't be nearly as fast or strong without me to guide him."
"You mean without you to chase around the neighborhood," Akane said as she glared at him.
Genma, of course, lost again that day as well. *I'm almost starting to regret getting cured...* he thought.
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"So now he's giving us mission orders?" Rei said with distaste, taking the note and trying to make sense of it. She handed it to Usagi. "Here, you read it. It's a lot like your handwriting."
"Rei! Don't be so mean!" She began to read Ranma's note. "Hey, you're right! This does look a lot like mine!"
Makoto looked over Usagi's shoulder. "Barely legible..."
"...and there's no kanji..." Ami said from the other shoulder. This pile-on by her supposed friends sent Usagi into another short-lived cry.
"A warning, not orders," Cologne said. "The outcome of the next two battles will be the same whether he is there or not. You are strong enough to stand on your own. Although I worry about your habit of meeting the Dark Kingdom's victims just as they are being targeted. I should wonder if they have someone like Ranma, or some tracker youma keeping an eye on your movements and associations."
"I should have sensed if any youma were around," Rei said.
"A weaker one, possibly. Youma not given cloaking spells or means of keeping under your senses. We can't assume they don't have them, or won't commit them."
Ami pulled out her computer and began to work. "I'll see if I can scan for enemy agents," she said. "But I'll need proper data to work with. I'll start taking more readings from our enemies when I can."
Ranma's warning proved to be right. An animator they met that day started showing a telltale change of mood overnight. The following night they easily dispatched the youma that erupted from her pencil.
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"You look like you have a hot date," Akane said.
Nabiki checked herself in the mirror. Sufficiently formal dress, makeup just right... "Hottest ticket of the year. Embassy downtown. I had to call in a lot of markers to get in."
"I don't even want to know." Akane wondered if her sister were getting in too deep with Yakuza.
"Glamourous. I wonder if I could get into someplace like that...?" Her eyes danced with visions of herself as the belle of the ball.
"Well, as it happens there's a boy from our school who could get in. He'd even want you as his date..."
"Ewww. Not at that price, thank you. One date with Kuno was enough."
On her way out she noticed Ranma and Happosai in their usual antics. "I almost envy them, taking up all the attention in this town these days. There ARE other people living here, after all. Not everything important has to involve Ranma."
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Hobnobbing with the rich and famous was a privilege not entirely unknown to Nabiki Tendo. It was, however, still rare enough that she wanted to make the most of this opportunity.
Her date was one of a growing number of rich sons around the Tokyo area who would find his new girlfriend was a little too high maintenance to be worth the trouble. She would end up tiring of him, dumping him, and move on to the next one. She hoped to only run through four or five more before graduation, then marry the next one convenient. Social engagements like this were a good scouting ground for her next marks.
She had some sense of who was fair game, who was a waste of time, and who to avoid. She'd heard frightening things about that Saudi prince, for example. And that Thai businessman... he might be connected to a few Triads. On the other hand, there were several sons of zaibatsu board members floating about...
There was a commotion at the other end of the room. Some girl got wine spilled on her dress and went to find the restroom to clean it. Wait a minute... wasn't that Sailor Moon in civilian guise? Nabiki would know that hairstyle anywhere, and from her spying she knew that the Pretty Soldier looked like any other black-haired Japanese girl when not in costume.
She wondered if she should introduce herself. After all, if these were the people Ranma was working with, they probably should get to know each other eventually. She let the idea stew in her mind as she pretended to listen to some diplomatic wives drivel on about little that really mattered.
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"Honestly! That baka!" Mars fumed. "She just had to go in there for herself and get in on the ball! If she gets hurt by a youma it'll be her own fault."
"But Ranma's warning didn't say anything about not going inside..." Mercury said.
"Maybe not, but it's still smarter to stay out here," Luna said. "We know when Nephrite will be out here. We just need to wait."
They were in a good position to do so. The paparazzi had for once not noticed them, even though they were just across the street. The crowd out front was in everyone's way. With their ability to leap two stories in a single bound, the crowds and the embassy guards wouldn't be able to stop them from getting in once the action started.
"Speaking of waiting..." Jupiter looked about. "Has anyone seen Tuxedo Mask?"
None of them had. "He's got to be in there looking after Usagi," Mars knew. "Should we go in after him? We can't afford to lose both of them."
"I don't blame him," Jupiter said. "Besides, if Nephrite finds them, they should be able to hold him off until we get there."
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"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Mamoru said as he danced with Usagi. She had used her disguise pen to conjure up a suitable dress, and he had simply transformed to his usual tuxedo. Usagi had wanted to come brazenly through the front gate - as if she could just conjure up some fake country name and get passed through - but he had talked sense into her, and they had come in through the roof. For some reason security was lax there.
"I feel like we've done this before..." Usagi was getting lost in resurfaced memories herself. "There were so many court balls... but that last one..." She suddenly broke out in tears, remembering why it had been the last.
They were mercifully interrupted by the alarm. They looked about, ready to face a youma. Luna ran up into Usagi's arms. "Usagi-chan, we've got trouble! Princess Dia took the treasure and is heading out to the balcony."
They intercepted the Princess at the balcony, but Usagi chose the wrong way to do it. The Princess threw her over the railing; Tuxedo Mask narrowly saved her, leaving him holding her and neither of them in position to stop the possessed girl. Tuxedo Mask strained at the weight. "*Lifting her up might take too long... if I can just swing her over to the balcony below...*
He didn't even have that long. The Princess gave him a shove from behind; they both went falling to the street below. Luna narrowly reached them in time, throwing Usagi her accessory umbrella. She opened it and parachuted them down to the entry walk. Tuxedo Mask supposed the umbrella had some enchantment; a normal one would not have slowed their fall signifigantly.
Down on the street, the other Senshi sweatdropped. "Usagi no baka!" Mars said again. "Looks like we have to save her bacon again." They all leapt cars, crowds and fence to fire at Nephrite in the yard.
Nephrite's magical shielding was strong enough to take it. "Blast..." Faced with the full team - so far as he knew - he had to retreat.
"Usagi-chan! Hurry!" Mercury urged. Usagi transformed quickly and they ran back up to the dance floor to confront the Princess. They arrived to find the dancers unconscious at the feet of the Princess.
"Hold it!" Sailor Moon said. Now that everyone was here, she reasoned, she should properly introduce herself. "For Love and Justice, I'm Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon!"
"And Sailor Mercury!""Sailor Mars!""Sailor Jupiter!" the rest followed. Tuxedo Mask waited just outside the doors to the room, ready to intervene if the front line was in trouble. One of the dancers was out there with him, trying to hide behind some curtains. He admired her for having quicker reactions than the others.
"Demon who dares possess Princess Dia, prepare to meet your fate!" Sailor Moon proclaimed.
The possessed princess gave a low laugh. "I will have the secret treasure of the guinzuishou!" she said.
"The guinzuishou?" Luna said. "They're on to it?"
The princess summoned a wind to lower herself to the ground. The Senshi jumped down to follow. Mars cast an exorcism charm at her, as Sailor Moon prepared the Moon Stick as backup. The charm worked; a shadowy form with indistinct body and Nephrite's face appeared out of the girl's body, allowing it to collapse to the grass. "Suffer and die!" it said, throwing a dark wind at the Senshi.
They were all pressured, unable to move. "I'll do something about it!" Mercury said, and cast Shabon Spray. The winds stopped.
"Shame on you to possess the princess!" Sailor Moon said. "In the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!" She tried her tiara first, which proved to be enough. The shadow dissolved.
Luna met with them as they made their way off afterward. "The youma said it was after the guinzuishou," she said. "So the Dark Kingdom now knows about it and is searching for it. But they don't know what Ranma told us about the Rainbow Crystals. We've got to beware for when they do."
Usagi was crying. "I wanna go back! That ball was so much fun! I was gonna try the punch..."
"That 'punch' would have had quite a kick, Usako," Mamoru warned. "You shouldn't be drinking stuff like that yet."
"Say what?" she asked. The other Senshi facefaulted.
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Nabiki walked out of the embassy, feeling lucky to be able to do so under her own power. She might just have avoided having her energy drained. Good thing she was from a martial arts family; her father had taught her well to size up situations. She had made her way out to the hall as soon as the Princess had appeared acting strangely.
She wondered what had stopped her from approaching the Senshi when she had the chance. They could have discussed Ranma, and their relationship, and who the Senshi were fighting, and if... she stopped there. If... what? What could she offer them? What might they offer her that they weren't delivering already - security from youma?
Nabiki sighed. She couldn't get in touch with Ryoga, Ranma wouldn't want Ukyo getting involved, and Cologne was no doubt already training these girls. Shampoo would be in reserve if they needed more muscle. Akane? She might be interested in helping; but that shadow the Senshi had just dispatched didn't seem like it would fall to raw strength.
No. Better to keep her distance, and convince her little sister to stay away as well. Like it or not, she had to admit Ranma probably knew what he was doing.
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Kodachi was bored. She usually was, when Ryoga was not in town. Which was most of the time. She wondered what was wrong exactly with his sense of direction? Perhaps some neurological problem. She could refer him... no, *take him to see* a specialist.
The timer went off. She took her cookies out of the oven. Home Ec class was just not for her. She didn't need to do this sort of thing at school! She was learning just fine from the family chefs. Not so low class that she shouldn't associate with them, at least. She didn't want to be one of those pretty-but-useless society wives who depended on the help to do everything. She firmly believed a woman should show her love through her own handiwork - in crafts and other pursuits, such as her gymnastics.
Taste test - perfect. If only there were someone who could appreciate them. Her gaze drifted to the window. and who should be there but the Lost One himself?
"Oh teacher? I just remembered an urgent matter to which I must attend..." She doffed her apron and took out her ribbon and petals. "I shall be leaving early!"
The other students were left to pick black rose petals out of their cookies. The teacher made a note in her log: "Kodachi Kuno, leaving early..."
Outside, she caught up to Ryoga quickly. "I, at least, will not waste my efforts! I baked these and Ryoga will enjoy them! Oh, Ryoga-sama!"
Ryoga knew the laugh coming his way. "Oh no..." He ran, hoping to get lost before she made another attempt at feeding him drugged food.
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"I finally got it right!" Akane said. The Home Ec class schedule, common to all the area schools, had them making cookies. At Kasumi's urging, she had made some attempts the night before to warm up. She suspected Ranma had something to do with it as well, but he was out of sight so much these days with Happosai and possibly those Sailor girls she wouldn't know for sure.
The boys all wanted to taste test, of course; she was as popular as ever, even if they were no longer fighting her directly for a date. "In your dreams!" she taunted them. She was going to give these to Ranma - she figured his opinion could be trusted.
"Happiness for a woman lies solely in cooking for the man she loves," Kuno said. He was wearing a bib and carrying fork and spoon. "Akane Tendo... I shall make you happy!" He loomed close, brandishing his utensils.
"What, is saying "Can I have a cookie" too difficult for you?"
"Not like she'd give any to you anyhow," Ranma said as he landed on Kuno's head. "What kind are they supposed to be, anyhow?"
"Gingerbread. Try them!"
He did, knowing it wouldn't do too much harm. "Tastes like molasses. what are these shapes supposed to be? This one's... an octupus?
"No! It's a penguin!"
"... and a crab?"
"It's a lion!"
"I know. This one's a water flea!"
"It's a rabbit, you baka!"
"If these are your sculpting skills... you failed Art last year, didn't you?"
She bonked him over the head with a fire extinguisher. "Well, thanks for your OPINION..."
Kuno was now recovering. "Clearly, you know nothing of appreciating fine cooking. Akane, if you would permit me..."
Ranma stuffed a cookie in his mouth. "You wanted a taste. If you can put up with this, you deserve her."
Kuno chewed and swallowed. He began to break out in a sweat. Tears came to his eyes. "Glorious! A triumph of culinary arts!" He grabbed Akane's hands. "I should be prepared to help you hone your skills at any time."
"Man, he can shovel it..." Ranma mused as Akane was flustered. "You DO know he'd just have the family chefs do all the cooking? Especially for you."
An ominous shrill laugh came through the window. "GET HER AWAY FROM ME!" Ranma leaned out to see Ryoga being chased across the grounds by Kodachi.
"Well, well, if it isn''t my twisted sister," Tatewaki observed. "I pity that poor fool she has fixated herself upon."
"Better him than me," Ranma said. He began pitching cookies to the other boys who had asked Akane earlier.
"Ranma! What are you doing!" Akane grabbed the cookies back.
"Hey, if they weren't all that bad, why not let them?"
"Well, THANKS!" she said sarcastically, and left in a huff. Part of him was regretting making her a better cook; if she were as bad as ever, he could have fed them to Happosai and gotten some free time this evening.
Later that day pictures rained down over Nerima showing Ryoga in a compromsing position with Kodachi. Ranma decided he didn't want to know the full details.
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"I wonder what happened to Ukyo?" Akane wondered as she, Nabiki, and Ranma left school for the day. "Did she say she was going to be absent today?"
"Must be sick or something..." Ranma said, trying to make it sound like a guess. "We should check up on her."
They arrived at her shop to find it closed. Ukyo did indeed appear to be sick in bed. But it was no physical sickness. "You're depressed because your okonomiyaki sauce didn't come out right?" Akane asked.
"Oh, come on," Ranma said. "It can't be that bad."
She opened a sauce jar next to her and ladled out a sample. "Have a taste."
The three of them nearly lost their lunches. "Yeah, that's pretty bad..." Nabiki said.
"For a master of okonomiyaki to make such a mistake..." Ukyo proceeded to explain her attempt at making a secret sauce that took ten years to age properly.
"You mean... this is THAT sauce?" Ranma recalled.
"Oh... where did I go wrong...?" Ukyo settled into her bed, lost in her sorrow.
"Ahhh... heh heh..." Ranma scratched behind his head. "It may not have been you, exactly..."
"Ranma...?" The Tendos eyed him suspiciously.
"Okay, I sorta got impatient and tried to taste it the next day..." Ranma was getting red-faced. "I spilled it all... so I tried to make my own batch..."
Ukyo was shocked. She sat upright in bed now, depression turning to anger. "You WHAT?"
"Well, I didn't get a good look at that recipe as you were making it... I just tried to remember what you did..."
Ukyo was now burning with rage. "That sauce... I made that sauce as a test of MY skills... and YOU spilled it?" She reached for her baker's peel.
Ranma held his hands in front of himself defensively. "Hey, I was six! Kids do stupid stuff. And you were six, too... did you REALLY think it would turn out the first time? It might have tasted even WORSE!"
"RANMA NO BAKA!" Ukyo and Akane shouted together, smashing him out of the shop.
Ranma picked himself up. "HEY! I won't have a fiancee who treats me like that!"
"So then I won't be your fiancee! You might as well take Nabiki for all I care!"
"Are you sure about that?" Nabiki asked. "If you really want me to take him... I will."
"Go right ahead. Free of charge, even."
Nabiki's eyes turned to yen symbols. "Thank you!" Her voice quavered with excitement. She figured she'd just hit the jackpot.
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The school was abuzz with talk the next day. "Ranma and Ukyo split?" "I hear he switched to Nabiki?" "Wow... an older woman..."
"I wonder how they found out?" Nabiki asked.
"Gosh, could it be because..." Akane pointed to flyers Nabiki was throwing to everyone.
Ukyo attended, making a show of looking away from Ranma. Certain other interested parties considered this confirmation enough.
Tatewaki Kuno descended upon Akane, arms open. "Come! Leap into my arms!"
"Morning, Kuno." Once again, his head was Ranma's landing pad.
Kuno recovered quickly. "Good morning, future brother-in-law!" He shook Ranma's hand vigorously.
"Who are you calling...?"
"Oh, yeah... that's right..." Nabiki said. She linked arms with Ranma.
"Yes!" Kuno exulted. "Brother and sister-in-laws! Akane will be mine!" Akane simply kicked him over the nearby rooftops.
"Akane... don't you think you'd want Ranma for yourself? Act now and he's yours for 500 yen!"
"I'm not for sale!" Ranma protested.
"I don't want him!" Akane said desperately.
At lunch several athletic club representatives came into Ranma's class. They handed Ranma a sheet with times and clubs listed. "Your schedule," they said.
"My schedule? Says who?"
"Your fiancee. We've all paid the rental fee."
"So now I'm a sports machine? She rents me out like a snowmobile or something?"
"Come on, Ranma!" the soccer rep said. "We can dominate our leagues with you!"
Ranma looked over the schedule. "She's pencilled me in for championships in the spring..." A vein popped on his forehead. "Pretty sure of herself that we'll last ...?"
That evening after dinner she handed him a newspaper sports section. "Let's see if you're any better for Cologne's training."
Ranma-chan pored over the listings for hours, crafting the schedule of 'wins,' some of which were actually losses. He saw Nabiki wouldn't be able to control herself, and pick too many winners. He didn't want a crusade against the Yakuza while the Dark Kingdom was still out there.
"Here you go," she said as she handed the final results over. She doused herself with a kettle to change. "That should keep you rolling in dough... if you can keep it."
"If I can keep it? Why wouldn't I be able to keep it?"
"Good spending habits seem to be hard to come by around here. You aren't much better than Happosai or our pops..."
"MY spending habits? I'll have you know I don't spend a single yen myself. My dates always pay for themselves."
"And I can't, since I have no income. So who are you going to be cheating on me with while I play the breadwinner of the family?"
"Cheating! You think I'm that kind of woman? Don't you know... my true feelings?"
"What true feelings? Isn't this all it takes for you?" He held up the bundle of rent money she had collected for his services.
Nabiki looked down, adopting a hurt expression. "I never thought I'd tell you this, but... for a very long time now... I've been in love with you, Ranma!"
Ranma paused at this. "L- love? You? You're kidding, right...?"
"I love you..."
*Jeez... she's a better actor than me, for sure...* Ranma thought.
Akane gasped. She was holding up a glass to the wall between her room and Nabiki's. She hadn't had to do it in a long time, as her sister had long since learned not to invite friends over to share secrets, but now... was she serious about the engagement? It didn't seem like her.
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She asked about it the following morning, as Ranma was doing his workout. "I just thought you'd be happier, is all," she said. "Now that you know Nabiki's true feelings, I mean."
"Feh. In case you forgot, I'm still in training. It dosen't matter to me who I'm engaged to."
Right on cue, Nabiki came around the corner. "Oh, there you are! Good morning, Ranma!" She beamed a smile and handed him a towel to dry off the sweat of his workout.
Ranma was suddenly very awkward. "Uh... thu... thank you..."
"Oh. I didn't know you were there, Akane."
They both noticed Akane looking somewhat exasperated herself. Ranma wondered if she was beginning to envy her sister.
At school she had some reason. The horde of would-be daters had decided they had a chance again. "Akane Tendo, I challenge you!" "If I win, you go out with me!" She gave them a summary "Get lost!" and demolished them with her accustomed efficiency.
"So... Kuno gave them the go-ahead to fight again?" Ranma asked. "Some brother-in-law he'll be."
"So maybe you'd want to take her? You'd only have Kuno to deal with..." she suggested playfully.
"Are you saying you'd rather stick her with me? I've seen how she deals with annoyances." He looked at her sidelong. "So you WERE just kidding about saying you loved me last night, right...?"
Now Nabiki looked bashful. "You don't like older women?" She suddenly began crying onto her hands. "Oh, I'm too old!"
Ranma made clearing motions with his hands. "No! No... I don't care... about age... I..."
She got close to him. "Really?"
"About age? No. But I -"
She was suddenly all smiles. "Oh, Ranma! I'm so happy!"
Ranma now looked conflicted, turning his back and leaning against a tree. "Forgive me, Nabiki... but I fear that it simply isn't right... to continue this engagement..."
Shocked look. "At last I tell you of my love, and now... oh, how can I bear seeing you every day?"
Ranma held his position until he heard her dealing in the background. "3000 yen for a set of five!"
"When did you take those?" Ranma grabbed the pictures out of her hand.
"A girl does love to gaze upon the man she truly loves... even when he doesn't happen to be a man!"
"And selling them..."
"Only the duplicates!"
"There's an awful lot of them..." Ranma sweatdropped.
Just after school they met in the yard to walk home together. A voice came from a tree above. "Nabiki, take this!" An origami dart made with a thousand-yen note shot down into her hands.
"Shampoo...?" Ranma noted as the Chinese girl dropped down from her branch. "What are you doing here?"
Shampoo pointed to the note now in Nabiki's hands. "Is rental fee for Ranma." She grabbed Ranma's arm. "Now Ranma go to date with Shampoo...?"
"Uhm... I have a schedule..."
Shampoo brandished a mace at Nabiki. "She make schedule! She change!"
"Oh, no problem," Nabiki said, suddenly sweating. "You can have him now... the soccer team will just have to do without you."
"They paid," Ranma said. "You'll have to give them a refund."
Nabiki looked frightened, then disgusted. "Ranma... if you want to keep me as your fiancee... NEVER blaspheme like that to me again."
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Later that day Nabiki found Akane moping in the shopping district. "What's with the end-of-the-world face?"
"Nothing. You wouldn't understand."
"Oh, but I think I can guess. It's Ranma, isn't it? Admit it. You want a shot at him."
"With that jerk? No way!"
Nabiki tried to cheer Akane up by treating her to snacks at a shop. "What are you so serious about, Akane? I was only joking when I said I loved him!"
"You don't have to lie to me, Nabiki. I know you can be cold... heartless... and manipulative... but even you can't declare your love like that and not mean it!"
"Akane, please... for 1500 yen he's yours!"
"You don't have to put on an act for me."
A pause. She would be a hard sell. "What's so bad about him? He's a martial artist, like you..."
"So is Kuno. You don't see me falling into his arms."
"Well, better than Kuno, then. Isn't the main reason you hate him and all those boys at school about them throwing themselves at you? Ranma sure won't do that."
"That's the ONLY thing he has on them! Other than that, he's the same kind of obnoxious jerk."
"The same? Come on, sis... how do you REALLY see him? Macho blowhard? That's just what you'd get from any guy. They have their pride, you know. Insults everyone? That's force of habit. Him and his father... he just need the right deprogramming, if you ask me. And the only thing he understands is force - I sure can't do anything to him. You can."
"But I don't have to! Why should I if I have a choice?"
"DO you have a choice? If I decide to dump him, and Kasumi won't have him, you're low girl on the totem pole."
"You wouldn't!"
Nabiki shook her head. "Okay, maybe not. But still... aren't you the least bit curious as to what you could do with him?"
"No!"
Nabiki smiled, knowing her sister better than that. "Oh, is that so...?"
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At that same time, Shampoo was treating Ranma to a picnic in the park. "Ranma like Shampoo cooking?"
"Yeah! It's great!"
She snuggled close. "Shampoo happy! You no love money-girl?"
"We have an... understanding. She gets what she wants, I can give it to her. But everyone around here knows she's just playing around. Let her have her fun and when she gets tired..."
"Then Ranma belong Shampoo!"
"Well, she may try to dump me on Akane..."
"Violent pervert girl no good for Ranma. No know how to treat mans."
"Well, she knows how to treat the guys around HERE..."
"Shampoo know better how to be good wife. You marry Shampoo, you come live in village, be good Prophetess."
Ranma shook his head. "Why would I want that? My life is here, in Japan. I'm not giving all this up."
"Then we live here. Have daughter marry Tendo son. We come for advice."
"Cologne come up with that? That sounds like her."
She giggled. "Great-grandmother wise. She say as Prophetess you get what you want."
Ranma sighed. "I just want to be a man all the time... and these crazy people to leave me alone..."
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After the date he had more clubs to work with. He came home thoroughly exhausted and leaning on a pole. Nabiki glomped him as he came home. "Welcome home, darling!" The 'darling' drew stares from the rest of the household.
"Want to take a bath? I'll wash your back."
"What are you t-t-t-" he stammered out.
They both felt the rise of chi. Akane was giving off a low rumbling sound, like a stalking tiger. She soon deflated and stalked off in a huff.
She continued to sizzle through dinner. Nabiki kept her going by feeding Ranma. "I can feed myself!" he protested.
"What's the matter? We're engaged, aren't we?"
After dinner Akane moped in her room. "See if I care. Cuz I don't! Whatever happens between Ranma and Nabiki... it's not my problem!"
Nabiki's voice came through the wall, loud enough to be clear without a glass. "Hello, Ranma. Come on in." Some shuffling. Lower voice - now Akane did get out the glass. "Oh! Ranma, stop! We mustn't, not before the wedding!"
Akae couldn't stand it anymore. She burst into Nabiki's room. ""RAN-MAAA!" But Nabiki was alone.
"Heh. She falls for it." She fixed her gaze on her sister. "Now quit being so stubborn and buy him from me!"
"No way! Not for one yen! I keep telling you, I DON'T WANT HIM!"
"Well, you're obviously jealous. You want SOMEbody." She assumed a thoughtful look. "Okay, I'll admit... good men are kind of thin on the ground around here. You need to get out of Nerima. Cast your sights farther away. There's plenty of wards in Tokyo where the guys are actually not all crazy."
"I'm not LOOKING for a boyfriend!"
"Not looking, maybe, but if the right one came along..."
"Don't start with that. I get enough of that from Kasumi."
"She's right, you know. Let me ask you this: Where do you see yourself twenty years from now? You DO want to have children of your own, don't you?"
"Well, yes, of course, but..." She trailed off.
"But to do that you'd need a husband. You have to face it sooner or later, Akane. You need somebody. Even if Ranma isn't the one, he can use that power of his to help you find your Mr. Right. He says he's good at that kind of thing these days."
"I hope in twenty years YOU'RE married to Kuno." She stalked out, still steaming with jealousy.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
The next day Nabiki stayed after school to manage her business as Ranma and Akane found themselves walking home together. Ranma was sure it was deliberate.
Akane seemed uncomfortable about something. She looked up at him as he balanced on the fence along the canal. "Ranma... what do you think's going to happen to Nabiki?"
"She'll get what's coming to her. Someday. Not going to be my problem."
"She won't get hurt, will she?"
"She'll wake up one day and find all the money in the world won't fill the hole in her heart." He sounded like he was quoting something they read in Literature class.
"What about me? Will I find happiness?"
"Haven't looked."
She shoved him into the canal. "So take a look!"
Ranma-chan spluttered and climbed out of the canal. "Shoulda seen that coming..." Of course she had, the previous night. "You know it's gonna take a while. I can't see all the detail at a glance."
"Just... is there a man for me? Someone I can be happy with?"
"Some of the martial arts masters Pop trained me with said happiness has to come from within. No one is ready to be completed by their soulmate when they meet them. you have to grow together."
"Ranma... I never knew you knew so much about love."
"Yeah, well, Pop told me not to pay attention to that stuff. He wanted me to focus on my Arts. Didn't actually remember it until recently. It didn't mean anything until now."
"Growing together..." Akane wondered who she might be able to grow together with. Not Kuno, for certain.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
The next day Kasumi tried to persuade Nabiki to have a heart. "Why don't you just give Ranma up? Let him find whoever he wants?"
"I want to... but I can't. The truth is, I always HAVE been in love with Ranma."
"You're joking, right?"
"Yup."
"You shouldn't tease him like this."
"But it's so much fun."
"He'll be mad when he finds out."
"Do I care? He's such a scaredy cat. I've got nothing to worry about!"
Later that night Ranma barged into Nabiki's room. He proposed a date. "After all, we're engaged, aren't we?"
"I guess so."
"Or would you rather I date Akane?"
A gleam came to her eye. "Ten thousand yen."
"Nope. No amount of money is worth the grief."
"Hah! But what do you think of Akane? Honestly, I mean?"
Ranma knew Akane was listening through the wall. Good. He wanted her to hear this. "She can be cute... when she's not angry. Problem is, every little thing sets her off."
"So she's been under a lot of stress this year. She dosen't deal with pressure well. I've tried telling her high school is all about pressure. She just needs to work with it."
Ranma shook his head. "It's more than just dealing with idiots. Remember what I can do. I've seen visions of our life together. She gets angry at every real and imagined insult. For not complementing her the right way. For not noticing things I've had no business noticing until now. And you can't criticize her. It's like she gives no one the right to say anything she doesn't want to hear."
"Oh, she does. Kami-sama knows Kasumi and I have tried to tell her a lot of hard stuff. You just have to do it the right way. I know you're probably used to brutal honesty. You have to use a softer touch. Do any of your visions say you can learn to do that?"
"Oh, I can make an engagement work with her... but it's rough. A whole lot of work. For both of us. She has to meet me halfway."
"Two worlds coming together! A classic story of the Princess and the Barbarian!"
"Yeah, whatever. It's a whole lot of grief for both of us. And we don't HAVE to do it. There's lots of guys at school, starting with Kuno, who will love her just as she is. I can find her a guy like that who's not so aggressive he puts her off. And you know I have other options that are easier on me."
"So do that. Five thousand yen and you can have her!"
"Sorry. Not paying. Which means YOU'RE still it. Get ready for your date." And with that he left.
Nabiki chuckled. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily..."
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
That Saturday Ranma waited in a park with a dozen roses. Nabiki approached on a bicycle. He seemed too smug, like he felt he could win this. Little did he know, perhaps, that she had lured Shampoo into the park, supposedly to see Ranma. It was too easy.
She ran right over him. "Try and catch me!" she taunted. Right on cue, he gave chase. She dodged and weaved through other pedestrians, leading him toward Shampoo's position.
He didn't catch up. She went into a hedge maze, from an entrance where Shampoo could see. They both went in.
Nabiki had learned the layout of the maze beforehand. Turn right at this T, take a left branch, double back around... A hand reached through the hedge from her right. Ranma was reaching through. He thrust several times. *Is he trying to... hit me?*
He erupted through to her side. "You can't get away now! You've played with my feelings for the last time!"
"You mean... when I said I loved you?"
"It was all a joke to you, wasn't it?"
"Ranma... I'm a girl... do you think I'd joke about something like that? How COULD you!" She ran away in tears.
Just around a corner she gloated. "Heh! amateur. He may be cute... but he sure is DUMB! Hohohohohoho!"
"Oh, SO!" Ranma came over the hedge from behind her. "Now you're REALLY gonna pay!"
Nabiki led him around for another minute. She was hearing him pass on the other side of the hedge to her left when he suddenly stopped. "Ha ha! Nabiki! I've got you now!" There was the sudden sound of a lunge.
She flinched from the hedge, hoping to get away. But he wasn't coming through her side. She remembered the layout of the maze; his other side right now would be on the street...
She headed back and found her way out, hearing Ranma's voice continue to come. He must have grabbed Shampoo. Now he was in for it!
She could still hear his voice. "You can't fool me! Now everyone is gonna know the truth! I LOVE YOU... UCCHAN!"
She froze. Then she ran again, turning the corner.
It was true. Ranma had come through the hedge and was holding Ukyo. Both had 'gotcha' expressions on their faces.
Nabiki went red hot. "Ranma... what is the meaning of this?" Flames seemed to appear behind her.
"I should think it was obvious," came Kuno's voice. He and his posse, and a few other girls from school, were now coming up the street.
"Kuno? What are you doing here?"
"Witnessing a scene of love. They seem to have made up quite well, don't you think? In spite of your manipulation."
"But this is MY date. He should be holding ME!" Where was Shampoo? She should be the one in Ranma's arms, not Ukyo. Nabiki should be appearing the aggrieved party here.
"You were never serious, Nabiki," Ukyo said. "And we all knew it."
She produced Walkman and hit the play button. Nabiki's own words came out. "I was only joking when I said I loved him..."
"Lies!" She grabbed at the tape. But Kuno and others with the crowd had their own Walkmans. Her various confessions of intent were played back.
"Ranma was very generous. He gave us times and places to record your own words, that you might be made to eat them now."
Suddenly she went very cold. She could not believe she had forgotten who she was dealing with, what he was capable of.
"I see," she said in a frosty voice. "Looks like you win this round. But watch your back. You WILL pay for this."
She refused to look back as she stalked away. she could imagine the laughter. She didn't care so much that they knew she wasn't serious. It was the way he had revealed it. The player had gotten played at last.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
That evening she went through her files, ready to dish dirt. And came up empty.
Pictures, recordings, notes, all gone. Film taken out of her camera. Her list of sports teams to bet on was still there, her money was safe. But she couldn't blackmail him immediately.
Fool. Such a fool she was. She should have known he would see everything. He must have been planning this for weeks. It left her stumped, though. How do you beat someone who can see your every move?
She noticed motion outside her window. A female form was taking off over the rooftops.
Suddenly it was obvious. She knew his blind spot.
She headed downstairs. She was in luck. Happosai was there. "Word of advice..."
"Nabiki...?" This was unusual. Why would SHE be talking to him? Usually the only daughter around here with the guts to approach him was Kasumi.
"You might want to follow Ranma tonight. I think he might have a hot date."
Happosai could fill in the blanks for himself. "A date! He should know he can't keep secrets like that from me!"
Nabiki smiled. With any luck Ranma should be in a bit of trouble next time he went hunting youma with the Sailor Senshi. And with even more luck, the Senshi would barbecue the old lech.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Note: One of my guiding principles is that any element of the Ranma and SM timelines not altered by Ranma or affected by butterflies set in motion by him will happen as in the relevant canon. Thus, while he may handle Happosai differently, he cannot control the fact that Happosai will appear at the scheduled time. Future arcs that should be kept in place by this rule include the Ryoga-goes-home arc (motivated by Checkers giving birth) and Principal Kuno's return.
As author, it is within my discretion to have Ranma scrap nearly all other arcs, but not being particularly gifted with imagination I will have Ranma allow them to happen in their time, though with his spin on them: the Love Pill scramble at the beach, the Super Soba noodles battle, the Ultimate Moxibustion incident, Akane's swim training, the Martial Arts Calligraphy drawn upon Ryoga, and the Wishbringer event.
- OMAKE - OMAKE - OMAKE - OMAKE - OMAKE - OMAKE - OMAKE -
Climax of another fic that deserves a hundred thousand words, but I sadly don't have time to do:
Sousou stood his ground, hyakuhekitou sword in hand, supreme among the toushi. He had broken the cycle at last, won at Red Cliffs, taken Seito. Only Nanyo now stood in the way of full unity.
Now Nanyo's champion stood in his way, facing him across the concrete. The circle of onlooking toushi around them were eager for the climax. This one small slip of a girl could not stand in their way.
"I do not bother to ask your surrender," he said. "You know what has to happen now. Fight as if you have a chance. In the end, you can't escape your destiny."
Across the duelling ground, his opponent, only sixteen, yet veteran of another series of duels elsewhere, faced him with unwavering resolve. She answered him with three words.
"Zettai." Pink hair blowing in a sudden gust of wind.
"Unmei." Cold blue eyes that showed no fear, no doubt, only grim determination.
"Mokushiroku."
Dead silence. Dead calm. Then the quiet steps of her companion, a purple-haired Indian girl, as she drew up alongside.
"Yours or mine?" Anthy whispered.
"Mine," Utena said. "I'll kick his ass myself."
Ikki Tousen vs. Utena. Hyakuhekitou vs. soulsword. Who! Will! Win!
Well, it depends on how you interpret the fable that underlies Utena. I prefer to see it as going back much further than the magatama... and Anthy may have had a hand in their creation... and Utena just plain rocks.