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Retribution (Chapter 8)
Kahlan stared at him, panic a veil over her beautiful face. Her mind spun like a violent tempest of thoughts and fear. Anger began to win out over all other emotions as it threatened to explode inside of her. She roughly yanked her arms free from Richard's hold on her. Her eyes were blue balls of fury as she backed away from him. How could he do this to her after what they had just been through?
"I can't believe you're doing this to me," Kahlan hissed in a deadly low whisper. Tears suddenly leaked from her eyes and slipped down her cheeks, her body shaking with anger and hurt.
"Kahlan, I'm doing this to save your life!" he exclaimed as he took a couple of steps towards her, wanting to hold her again before he had to leave her.
"You can't trust her, Richard! She's taking you away from me just like she did the other times…only this time you're willingly going with her!" she yelled, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as she began pacing.
Deep down, Kahlan knew that Richard was only trying to keep her safe, but her firestorm of emotions at that moment was not about to bow to logic. She had lost too much and now she was losing the one she loved most. It was her final breaking point.
Richard stared at his lover as she fell to pieces before his eyes, his heart clenched with anguish. He knew that she needed him with her now more than ever but he had little choice. It was either stay with her and watch her die or go with Denna to save her life, knowing how hurt and furious Kahlan was with him. It felt like a no-win situation, but he would rather live life with Kahlan alive and hating him than to watch her die knowing that he had done nothing to save her life.
Swallowing back his own tears, Richard took a deep breath before speaking again. "Kahlan, I'm sorry, but I can't just sit back and watch you die. I won't do it. I hate leaving you now after what we've been through but I refuse to lose you to the Keeper."
Kahlan stopped pacing, her head falling to her chest, her tears falling on her corset as her body trembled. "Just go," she softly murmured as she turned her back to him, her heart breaking all over again. She couldn't watch as Denna took her lover from her once more.
Looking to the night sky above for strength he no longer possessed, Richard softly replied, "I promise I will come back to you. Above all else, remember how much I love you, Kahlan."
Turning towards his friends, Richard reached deep down past his heartache to find the resolve he had to use to leave Kahlan to save her life. "Take care of her no matter what. Leave immediately for Aydindril and warn the commander. There is still no predicting what the Mord'Sith will do now even though Kirsten is dead. I will meet you in Aydindril with the medicine for Kahlan as soon as I can."
"I'm coming with you," Cara informed the Seeker, her eyes fixed with determination.
"No, I need you to keep Kahlan safe. There's no telling how soon this poison will start affecting her. Zedd will need your help as will Aydindril if the Mord'Sith attack," Richard steadfastly replied, his jaw clenching with worry. "Besides, if something happens to me and I don't return in time, I need you there to give Kahlan the breath of life. Even if she dies and you bring her back, the poison would still be in here system. I have no choice," he softly told her, making sure Kahlan didn't hear him.
"Be careful! Do not trust that witch for one moment," Zedd told his grandson as he cast a wary eye at Denna.
"I will. Just get Kahlan to Aydindril as quickly as you can. I will come with the antidote as soon as I get it." Richard sighed heavily as he turned to watch his Confessor.
His heart sank further as he watched her cry, knowing that he was the cause of her pain once more. Anguish began forcing its way back into his soul, threatening to sweep him away. They had just gotten through a traumatic ordeal that had left them both broken and hurting. They had pushed aside their guilt, leaning on each other to heal, but now they were being destroyed all over again.
"I will meet you in Aydindril, Kahlan," he swore to her as he watched her fall to her knees with grief.
Hanging his head, Richard turned and walked toward Denna. "Ready, Seeker?" she sweetly asked.
"You haven't given me much of a choice now have you?" he hissed as he glared at her, his eyes twin orbs of rage.
Kahlan turned in time to see Richard follow Denna out of the small clearing, his silhouette quickly swallowed up by the looming darkness of the woods. As he made his way through the trees, Richard felt as though his heart was about to pound out of his chest, the heaviness of his anger and fear shrouded him, weighing him down like a cloak made of stone that threatened to crush the life out of him.
"RICHARD!"
Tears instantly stung his eyes as he heard Kahlan scream his name, the anguish in her voice cutting through to his core. His hands balled so tightly into fists that his nails began to dig into his flesh as he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other when all he wanted was to race back to her and never let her go. He kept a steady gaze at the long blonde braid that hung down Denna's back in an attempt to focus his resolve. He was doing this for Kahlan, to save her life. She would understand someday that he had to do this. He just prayed to the spirits that she would still be alive when he returned to her.
XXX
Zedd immediately went to Kahlan's side as she cried her lover's name, placing his arms around her as she sobbed. He felt his chest tighten with sorrow as he watched the overwhelming grief that consumed the Mother Confessor.
"It's alright, dear one. Richard will be back before you know it. Besides, he can take care of himself," he comforted her as he cast an anxious look at Cara, knowing his grandson's knack for finding trouble.
Coming to stand beside Zedd, Cara rolled her eyes at his comment, knowing full well that this was not going to end as well as they all hoped it would. She just wished that he would have allowed her to go with him.
"I can't…lose him…Zedd…" she sobbed between panicked gasps for air. "I already lost…our baby…I can't lose…Richard too…"
Resting her head against the old Wizard's chest, Kahlan squeezed her eyes shut against the image of Richard leaving with Denna. It made her blood run cold knowing what that vile woman was capable of, remembering the agonizing pain she had already caused Richard. Despite all that, he was still willing to go with the Mord'Sith in order to save her life.
"I know, child. Richard will do everything in his power to return to you. He loves you too much to stay away from you. Come now, let's return to camp and try to get some sleep. We still have another day of travel before we reach Aydindril."
Kahlan dazedly shook her head as she allowed Zedd to lead her back to their camp. Even though Richard had promised to return her, Kahlan was terrified that she would never see him again. They had a life to build together once the Keeper was defeated, a home and children to create. She just prayed they would have the chance to realize their dream.
XXX
As the darkness began to fade and the sun began to rise, Richard found that his heart was breaking with every step he took him away from Kahlan. He wondered how she was doing, if she was still angry with him for leaving her, worried about the poison that flowed through her veins. He wanted nothing more than to be by her side, holding her and making love to her. But that wasn't going to happen right now. Right now, he had to save her life.
Thoughts of the deadly poison that was mingling with her blood and coursing through her body caused his own blood to surge with anger. Every minute that ticked by was pulling Kahlan that much closer to death and that much farther away from him. He had to get the antidote from Denna before it was too late.
"Just how are we supposed to find this Shadow Water?" Richard finally asked, breaking the unpleasant silence that had hung thickly in the air since leaving his lover behind. Brooding about being separated from Kahlan wasn't getting him anywhere. He needed to get this over with as quickly as possible so he could return to her in Aydindril.
"I've heard recent rumors that it is shrouded in a secret location near Ashtoncroft. I have pursued other rumors only to find them to be false. Since I now have less than three days left, I decided that I needed your help to ensure my success."
"I don't know what makes you think I could possibly help you find this water."
"Because you're the Seeker. I've seen how truly gifted you are, Richard," she softly replied. "You make the impossible achievable, you give people hope when there is none to be found." Denna quickly averted her eyes, not wanting the Seeker to see her feelings. She was not used to showing her emotions or asking for help. It was not something that a Mord'Sith ever did.
Richard was stunned by Denna's profession of faith in him. She was in dire need and she had come to him for help. It was unnerving to think that the same woman who had tortured him mercilessly, had killed him in order to transfer someone else into his body, had now sought him out when her life depended on it. However, Denna had threatened Kahlan's life in order to ensure his assistance and that could never be forgiven.
"I only help people, give them a reason to believe," he answered, his voice losing some of the anger that had been there in the beginning.
"Don't sell yourself short. You have a gift, Richard, as well as an infinite compassion for the welfare of others. Never think less of yourself than what you actually are."
"Why the sudden change in heart? Why not just kill Kahlan and save your life instead of searching for something that you may never find?" Richard found it immensely difficult to form the words much less say them, but he had to know what he was up against. He had to know what had possessed this hard-hearted Sister of the Agiel to risk everything on a Shadow Water that may or may not exist when all she had to do was kill Kahlan to gain her freedom from Darken Rahl. There was something different about Denna, a subtle gentleness to the fiercely rough edges of this enigmatic woman.
Denna suddenly came to a stop, allowing Richard to stand beside her. It was difficult to explain despite the fact that she had spent the last several months contemplating her choices, the life that she had led and the things that she had missed out on because of being trained as a Mord'Sith. She thoughtfully considered her words before proceeding with an explanation.
"I thought that I was happy with being Mord'Sith, that I had been specially chosen because of my abilities, that there was no other life for me except the one that had been placed upon me," she slowly began as she stared into the distance, the sun gradually peeking over the horizon. "The Wizard helped me to see that I didn't have to continue living as the person I had been shaped to be."
With that, the Mord'Sith began to walk again, leaving Richard staring in confusion as she made her way around a dense patch of brush. "What Wizard?"
"Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander," she called over her shoulder, not pausing to wait for the Seeker.
Richard hurried to catch up to her, anxious to find out just what his grandfather had said to this cold, heartless woman who had tortured him, murdered his mother, and sent him to the Underworld. "What did he say to you?"
"He made me realize that I had no one that I could trust, no one who even cared if I lived or died," she told him, lingering by a large tree as she kept her back to him. She placed a gloved hand on the trunk as if to steady herself, to absorb its strength in order to continue on in her heartfelt confession. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "After I had forced him to fake our deaths, Zedd told me that he had given me a chance at a new life, one that didn't involve vile, selfish schemes. I scoffed at him, not willing to believe that someone like me could ever change. He told me that he believed I could become a better person.
Something happened to me when he said those words, something broke free deep inside of me. No one had ever truly believed in me, believed I could change and be a better person. I thought that I had done too many heinous, unspeakable things, caused too much suffering and pain. But he saw past that, looked past the violent exterior to the person I could potentially be. Even after all I done to him and put him through, he still showed compassion and faith in me. I see where you get your compassionate heart from," she said, turning her head slightly to peer over her shoulder at him.
Richard could scarcely believe what he was hearing. For once, he saw a hint of the little girl who had her childhood stolen from her and caught a small glimpse of the woman Denna could be if given the chance. His grandfather had tried to give that to her.
"That's when Cara shot me with an arrow and the rest is history," she curtly stated before proceeding on, her cold defensive wall immediately going up around her.
"You didn't have to poison Kahlan. You could have told me this and I still would have helped you." Richard's voice was strained with anger and regret. He was livid with Denna for endangering Kahlan, feeling guilty over the fact that they were apart again.
Denna suddenly came to a halt, spinning on her heel. "Would you really have helped me after everything I have done to you? Would you have trusted that what I was saying was the truth?" Heated frustration permeated her eyes as she stared at the Seeker who had stopped behind her. "You can't be that naïve, Richard. Trust is something that is earned, not just given."
"Maybe, but sometimes you have to take the chance and hope that you are right. Who am I to decide who deserves my help and who doesn't? Everyone deserves a chance, Denna…even you," he softly replied as he walked past her, unexpectedly finding compassion for this woman when all he had previously wanted to do was slice her in two for the pain she caused and what she had done to Kahlan.
Tears instantly pooled in her eyes as she absorbed his words into her heart. Regret filled her soul for the things she had done in her past. Being trained Mord'Sith was no excuse for the pain she had caused or the anguish she was causing the Seeker and Mother Confessor now. Turning, she began following the Seeker as she made her way between the towering trees that tried to shield them from the outside world.
With any luck, they would be in Ashtoncroft late today. That would give them two days to find the Shadow Water. Then, Denna swore she would make things right.
XXX
The city sat enormous and proud on top of the cliff, its buildings standing tall and magnificent in splendor. The site almost took Kahlan's breath away as she stared at her homeland that she hadn't seen in months. It brought tears to her eyes, but she quickly dismissed them. There was no time to wallow in self-pity and grief. There was work to be done and as the Mother Confessor it was her duty to see it through to the end.
Thoughts of Richard and where he was right then began to float through her mind. She desperately missed him, wishing he was here to share the experience of her home with him. There were so many things that she wanted to show him, so many places she was anxious to take him. She had always thought that when she returned to Aydindril, it would be with him by her side. Now as she stood staring at it, she felt the overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness that came with his absence.
Kahlan reached up, running a hand through her hair. Her head had been pounding relentlessly since they had gotten up that morning to leave for Aydindril. She hadn't been able to sleep at all last night, too consumed with worry over Richard. She shuddered to think what that vile woman was doing to him, but Kahlan knew that when Richard's mind was made up there was no changing it. He would protect her life no matter the cost to his own and it terrified her. If anything happened to him, she didn't think she'd be able to survive it.
Rubbing her hand over weary eyes, Kahlan began to feel dizziness wash over her. She suddenly felt a hand on her arm, steadying her. Opening her eyes, she was surprised to find Cara standing right next to her, a concerned look on her face.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, I just got a little dizzy there. I think I'm alright now," Kahlan lied. She had to keep going. The future of Aydindril was at stake and Richard was counting on them to keep it safe.
By the look on Cara's face, Kahlan knew that the Mord'Sith was not entirely convinced, but she didn't want Cara to worry. They had bigger things to worry about than her…
