For once, I have nothing to say! Enjoy my brief silence. Unless you follow me on twitter.
Much love to the betas, LouderThanSirens and Momma Bear, and to my twilighted jv beta jajo and of course to RoseArcadia.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Edward
This girl is all there is.
She makes me right. She makes me good. I would give up everything for her.
She cries, and I hold her. I want to wipe her tears away, but also need to see them. I deserve them and this pain.
When it starts to get colder, I lead her to her bedroom and lay her down, stretching out next to her.
"Please stay," she says, her eyes on mine, pleading.
"Okay," I respond simply, laying back and letting her put her head on my chest.
I try not to think about our conversation and of her blindfolded on the counter. I try not to think of the second before I'm going to put my lips on her skin, her chest rising and falling, shiny with sweat and juice from the pineapple. I smile when I remember how her chin jutted out, like she's trying to deny that she's nervous because she doesn't know what's going to happen next.
I remind myself that getting a fucking hard-on in this situation is wildly inappropriate. I just got done telling her about eight girls that I fucked after her. My heart sinks at this realization, and what that must mean to someone like Bella.
It didn't occur to me to quantify it until she asked. I hadn't given even one of those girls a second thought. A dense wave of guilt hits me then, thinking about her drunk at a club, stumbling, letting someone like me or one of my friends reach up her skirt in a dark corner or a bathroom.
It's a double standard and I realize that, but I can't completely diffuse my anger about someone else touching her skin.
I want to be past this part so bad. I want to have her all to myself, happy like I know we can be. My mind cycles through the next few weeks, and then when I get to September, I realize the major flaw in my plan.
The thought of her across the country in L.A. makes my heart sink. Flying back and forth like Emmett ... I don't know if I can do it. But how can I not? I need to be with her.
I think about her in Texas. When I had the thought last summer it was laughable, picturing her at the bar with me while girl after girl that I've fucked walks by, but now I see things differently.
I see myself cooking for her and looking over to find her in the stands at my games. I think of us in my bed, falling asleep intertwined.
I can't picture myself in L.A., but decide that if she wanted me there, I would move.
I wake up with something tickling my neck and arms. It takes me a minute to register Bella above me, staring down at me through her tent of thick brown hair. She's straddling me, and my dick is responding despite my intentions to be a gentleman.
"I've been awake for like an hour, and I couldn't let you sleep any longer. You know, you do the cutest things in your sleep," she says, smiling. I look down at the cold spot on my chest.
"Apparently you drool in your sleep," I say, eyeing the drying wet spot.
"You knew that! I drooled on you all the time last summer." Her smile fades a little, no doubt remembering last night's talk.
I sit up, leaning back against her headboard, keeping her facing me on my lap.
"Tell me what you're thinking," I say, running my fingers through her tangled hair and down her tan arms.
Her brow furrows and she looks out the window next to us, sorting out her thoughts. When her eyes return to me, she has a slight smile playing on her lips.
"Well, I guess I was just wondering if you'd had an STD test recently," she says quickly.
I pause. I never know what she's going to say next, though I probably should have told her this already. "I have. I'm clean."
She smiles brightly then. I'm still trying to catch up to her, but then she says "Good, because I don't think I'm going to want to wait very long." She says this while looking down at my boxer briefs. "Now make me breakfast, bitch."
I chase her into the kitchen, letting her beat me by a few seconds, and then pick her up and pull her legs around me, kissing behind her ears.
The sound of a throat clearing behind us makes us both jump, turning to find Rose and Emmett in her living room.
She pushes lightly on my chest so I put her down, really wishing that I had pants on. This doesn't look good.
="MsoNormal"Rose is glaring at us with her arms crossed tightly. Emmett is standing behind her looking like he wants to disappear. He reaches to touch her shoulder and she shakes it off, her eyes still fixed on us.
"What the hell, Bella?" Rose demands.
"Rose..." Bella squirms under her gaze. I feel like I'm 16 and getting busted sneaking out or something. I can't help but feel shameful, but then I realize that I'm not a teenager and I'm not doing anything wrong, so who the fuck does she think she is?
"Rose-" I start, but she cuts me off immediately.
"You do not get to speak right now," she huffs out sharply. I put my hands up and back up a step to lean on the counter. I'm embarrassed and annoyed. Apparently, so is Bella, because she puts her hands on her hips and leans forward to glare back at Rose, all traces of her sheepishness gone.
"What the fuck is your problem, Rose?"
Rose doesn't respond to Bella's question, instead posing her own. "Did you ask him?" She says coldly, her face stone.
Bella freezes then. I can't see her face, but Emmett turns away and walks to the window, head in his hands. I don't know what they're talking about, but I can see this is about to get ugly.
"Ask me what?"
Rose ignores me completely, watching Bella expectantly.
"I did," Bella says quietly.
"And?" Rose raises her eyebrows smugly.
"Eight," she says, her voice clipped. When I hear the number, I mimic Emmett's position, head in hands.
"Eight," Rose nods, "and even after that, you had sex with him again? Eight? Does he even remember their names?" Rose looks at me with disgust.
I've had enough. So has Emmett, because before I can open my mouth, he's walking back towards Rose.
"Alright, babe. You made your point," he says, putting his arm around her to guide her towards the door.
She throws his arm off again, turning back to face us. I step forward to Bella, who is holding back tears.
"Fuck that, Emmett. Bella, how can you do this to yourself again?" She is at the counter, just a few feet from us, nostrils flaring and face red with anger. Emmett is shadowing her and looks ready to pounce if it gets out of hand.
Bella regains her composure, speaking confidently. "We didn't have sex, Rose." Rose looks at her disbelievingly, and then at me. I shake my head. "God, Rose, we didn't," she reiterates angrily.
"But you're going to."
Bella looks at her, not backing down. "You know how I feel. You saw that we were getting closer. As for my sex life, that's none of your business."
Rose snorts, her expression fierce. "Alright, B. If it's none of my business, who's going to be there to pick up the pieces when he walks away again at the end of the summer?"
Bella sighs, "You're being a little dramatic about all of this, Rose."
"Dramatic? You want dramatic?" she taunts, her voice loud.
She turns to me then, and I instinctively flinch. "Did you know that I found her passed out on our porch at 2am, with no recollection of how she got there? That I would have to go pick her up after last call where she'd have some fucking asshole groping her tits in front of the whole bar?" Bella makes a strangled noise at this, and I wonder how much she actually remembers.
"Did you even know that she had to go back to therapy for the first time since her mom died?" I glance at Bella, who has her eyes squeezed shut against the attack. "You say you love her, and I really hope that's true, Edward, but I'm sure you can understand why I'm skeptical."
I can't believe she just said that. I look at Emmett, who is looking at me apologetically, mouthing "Sorry". I should have known he would tell Rose everything. In some ways I was hoping that he would, but I really didn't want the first time that Bella finds out that I love her to be like this.
Bella's eyes open at Rose's last sentence, and she glances at me questioningly before looking back to Rose. The two of them stare each other down until Emmett moves forward one more time to pull Rose out of the room.
She opens her mouth to say something else, but Emmett beats her to it. "Rose. Let's go."
"But-" she starts.
"Fucking now, Rose," he yells.
Emmett doesn't yell, at least not in anger. I doubt she's ever seen him pissed off, because she blanches and lets him guide her out of the room, slamming the screen door behind them.
Neither of us moves for a long beat, and when I turn to Bella her mouth is hanging open and she looks confused.
"Wait, what the hell just happened? Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she apologizes sincerely, and then her shoulders slump and she looks at the ground. "I can't believe she told you all that stuff. I'm mortified." A lone tear trails down her left cheek.
I pick her up and set her on the counter, so we're eye to eye. "I'm sorry."
The words spill out of her pretty mouth quickly. "Why are you sorry? She's insane, and she's my cousin, so I'm the one who is responsible here." She pauses, listening, and then sighs in relief. "Oh, thank god, here comes Jasper." I look around quickly, but then stop to listen and hear a boat moving towards the cabins.
"Twins. He just knows or something. God, I wish he would have been here for that," she moans, closing her eyes. "He's the only one who can stop her once she gets started. In fact, it probably wouldn't have happened at all if he were here."
I hate that I have to say what comes out of my mouth next, but it's the truth.
"She's not wrong, you know," I mumble quietly. "I mean, I should know all of that stuff. It's my fault."
She hops off of the counter, putting a few feet of space between us.
"Maybe, but I don't want to go back to you acting like I'm breakable, Edward. I want to move forward. You said you were sorry." She looks into my eyes, sighing. "Can't we just fast forward through all this shit and get to the part where we're happy?"
I answer her with a smile, because I was thinking exactly the same thing last night. I reach out a hand to grab hers and pull her towards me and into my arms. I keep running through the last few minutes in my head, Rose's words cutting me again and again. Guilt presses down on me, dense and unrelenting.
A few minutes later there's a knock at the door, and Jasper strides in, stopping when he sees Bella. I assume he's already been over to see his sister, judging from the look on his face.
Bella runs up to him, throwing her arms around his waist as he wraps his around her.
"Rosalie strikes again, eh?" he jokes, giving me a sad smile. "I had a bad feeling when I woke up this morning. Sorry I wasn't here, B."
She shrugs, sniffing into his shirt. "Is she okay?"
I'm surprised at Bella's concern after what Rose just did, but I know their ties run deeper than this fight.
"She's really upset. She locked herself in her bedroom. Apparently Emmett said something that pissed her off, because she won't talk to him. Alice is trying to get her to come out," he explains in his mellow way, pulling Bella back to look at her face. "Are you okay?"
She nods, letting go of Jasper to scrub her hands over her face. "It's just been an emotional couple of days," she explains, "I cried twice in two days, I think. I feel like a fucking basket case."
"What did you cry about the first time?" he asks, looking between the two of us.
I clear my throat, and Bella looks at me, a hint of a smile on her face. "We were just working out some things between us," I say, answering Jasper but watching her.
"Enough said," he chuckles, and then sobers, remembering his twin. "I'll talk to her. I don't think she's seeing this thing clearly." He kisses the top of Bella's head and moves towards the door, saluting me before sauntering away, the screen closing behind him.
Once he's gone, Bella walks back into the kitchen, her tears dry.
"Good morning," she says dryly, before peeking up at me with a sad smile.
"Good morning," I reply, bending to kiss her lips.
"Is it totally pathetic that even though everything is so fucked up, I'm still really happy?" she asks, twisting her fingers in the hem of my t-shirt.
"I've never been happier," I answer, looking at the floor and shrugging, trying to downplay the gravity of my statement.
She's silent, but when I look at her she's grinning at me and she shrugs once, biting her lip.
She sits on the counter drinking coffee while I make breakfast, telling me about her therapist and how her writing has been progressing. She tells me that she pretty much stopped writing when we were together last summer.
She's probably startled when I walk out of the room and into her bedroom, grabbing her journal and pen and bringing it back to set it on the bar. I help her off the counter and walk her around to one of the stools. Putting her coffee next to the journal, I go back to the stove to finish making breakfast.
I can feel her watching me for a minute, before I see her pick up her pen and open her journal, writing intensely until I set a plate in front of her.
Bella
When I finally go over to talk to Rose, she cries. I gave her a few hours to cool off, and now that she's taken a step back, she feels bad about her behavior.
I hug her, reassuring her that I'm not mad, and that I love her. After we're done talking, she asks me if she can talk to Edward alone. I'm uncomfortable with the prospect, but send him in anyway. They don't come out of her room for over an hour. The rest of us nurse drinks on the deck, speculating on what could be taking them so long.
I'm starting to get hungry by the time they emerge together. Rose gives him an embarrassed smile before sitting on Emmett's lap and getting wrapped in his huge arms. Edward grabs a beer and sits next to me, flashing me a big grin.
No one says anything for a long minute, which gets awkward. My natural response to the situation is to start giggling. Alice gets going then, too, and next thing I know, we're all laughing really hard, even Rose. With everything seeming back to normal, I can't wait to get Edward alone so I can ask him what they talked about.
After two more rounds of drinks the tension is gone, and Jasper is acting out Alice's encounter with an overly friendly caterpillar during their camping excursion.
When the laughter dies down, Rose stretches and looks around. "I'm tired. Edward, do you mind making dinner tonight? I think we have everything to make burgers." My eyes widen as I turn to him to see his reaction.
"I'd be happy to," he answers, getting up to poke around in the kitchen. I get up to follow him in, looking back to see Rose settle into Emmett's arms. Jasper and I exchange a disbelieving look before I walk in.
"Dude, what did you say to her? No one gets to use Rose's kitchen, not even Carlisle. Did you promise her our first born or something?" I whisper loudly, blushing when I realize I referenced our hypothetical love child.
He just smiles a secretive smile and bends to kiss my neck and lips, before turning back to the fridge and getting out ground beef for burgers.
"Hey, Em! Start the grill!" he yells.
"Aye-aye, Capitan!" Emmett bellows back.
I watch him incredulously. If he thinks he's not going to tell me how exactly he got her to go from hating his guts to being bosom buddies in less than an hour, he's got another thing coming.
"Hey B, would you make a salad?" he asks, chopping an onion. I just stand there staring at him with my mouth open.
"Seriously?" I scoff.
He glances up, taking in my expression. "What? I know you don't cook, Princess Bella, but I'm sure you can figure out how to make us a salad."
I pick up a dishtowel and snap it at him, locker-room style. "No, shithead, I'm talking about you not dishing the dirt on your conversation with Rose. Aren't you going to tell me what happened?" I question, attempting to employ puppy-dog eyes.
"I think for now that's between me and Rose. Nice try with the sad eyes, though." He laughs, turning to wash his hands.
I start getting out vegetables for a salad, grumbling "I am not a princess."
I'm annoyed, but can't help grinning a little when I hear Edward snickering at me.
After dinner Rose claims exhaustion and heads to bed with Emmett right behind her. Apparently Alice didn't sleep a wink out in the great outdoors, so she and Jasper go to his cabin to chill out. Edward and I roll a joint and bring beers down to the dock. I want to lie down and look at the stars.
He lights the joint and passes it to me, pointing out the constellations he knows and telling me the mythology behind them. I decided while making the salad that I won't ask him about his conversation with Rose again, even though it's killing me to be kept in the dark. Between that and what she said about him loving me, which I haven't really had a chance to think about yet, I'm bursting with curiosity.
The joint helps distract me, and we talk aimlessly, covering everything from our favorite movies to the sports car/tiny penis theory. Edward thinks it's bullshit, so I guess that he plans to own a tiny sports car some day.
We lie there until I start yawning. Walking across the beach, we pause at the stairs leading up to my cabin.
"Do you want to sleep over?" I ask hopefully.
"Well, you know, if I sleep over tonight I'm going to sleep over tomorrow night and the next night, and then you're never going to get rid of me," he jokes.
"I'm counting on it," I respond, pulling him up the stairs.
Rose won't tell me shit about her talk with Edward, and just laughs when I get pissed off at her about it.
Bitch.
I'm going crazy. I stick to my resolution, though, and don't say anything to Edward all week. Of course, he knows I'm annoyed, and is totally fucking with me, acting all smug. It's totally rude, but very Edward.
Too soon, it's only a few days before the Fourth of July. Rose declares a girl's day, kicking the boys completely off of the property for the day. They whine a little, but I can see boyish excitement in them as they run to the car that morning, off to do what they call "man stuff".
They drive away blasting Journey.
"Fucking dorks," Rose laughs, as we all turn around to go inside her cabin.
We start with spa treatments, and I find myself standing in Rose's bathroom, naked except for a pair of panties, covered from head to toe in a green mud mask while Rose cuts Alice's hair. It's one of Rose's secret talents. I think she missed her calling, honestly.
"Guys, this is starting to itch," I complain, wiggling around.
"It'll be totally worth it, Bella. Just sit still and shut up," Rose admonishes me, concentrating on Alice's hair.
"You suck," I say tightly, the mask drying on my face making it hard to talk.
Alice cracks up, trying to keep her head still for Rose while making faces at me in the mirror. I struggle to flick her off, making her laugh harder.
When I'm finally allowed to get in the shower, Alice hands me a loofah to scrub off the goop. Despite my discomfort, the mask did make my skin really soft, and I sit down for a trim from Rose while Alice swings her legs, sitting on the bathroom counter.
"Okay, time for girl talk. We need to do this like once a week. I love the boys, but absence does make the heart grow fonder," Alice sighs, looking wistful.
"In my experience, absence just makes the heart grow horny," Rose says, referring to living in a different state than Emmett.
Alice and I giggle.
"I can't imagine being away from Jasper that much. I would go nuts. He's so amazing," Alice sighs.
"Gross." Rose rolls her eyes.
"Hey hooker, it's not fair that I can't talk about sex with Jasper just because he's your brother. Don't forget that you can be quite descriptive about you and Emmett." Alice protests.
"Fine! Continue," Rose concedes, motioning for her to go on.
"He does this thing with his fingers-" she starts, smiling slyly, only to be cut off by Rose's scream.
"Okay, I lied! I can't do it! Please stop!" she yells, shuddering.
Alice and I laugh, and then we move on to safer topics. After we're beautified, we adjourn to the deck for sunbathing and several pitchers of margaritas.
I turn to Rose after pitcher two is half gone. We're passing tipsy and nearing drunk. "So what really happened when you and Edward talked," I query, hoping she's loose enough that she'll tell me.
"Wait, they didn't tell you anything?" Alice asks, surprised.
"Not a word. Hold on, did they tell you?" I sit up, eyeing Alice like I might eat her.
"No, so quit looking at me like that. It's creepy," she chuckles, slurring a little.
I look at Rose, staring at her until she pulls her sunglasses up to look at me. "What? Jesus. You are such a spaz."
"Why did you say that he said he loved me?" I ask, relieved to finally ask the question.
"Nope. Not going there. It's between you two. Patience is a virtue, my dear." She closes the subject by lowering her sunglasses again and refilling her drink.
I pout for a few minutes, but get over it quickly.
"What are we doing for the Fourth?" I ask, realizing just how close it is. Rose's phone rings from on the table.
"I'm thinking BBQ, bonfire and fireworks. The usual," Rose says before answering her phone. "Hello?"
She pauses, sitting up in her chair abruptly. "Emmett? What's wrong?"
Alice puts her hand on my arm and we listen, frozen.
"Oh good god, Emmett. Okay, yeah. We'll be right there," she says. "Oh shit, none of us can drive, we've been drinking ... well I wasn't planning to have to come bail you out of jail, Emmett ... fine ... fine. We'll get there as soon as we can." She ends the call, turning to me and Alice.
"All three of them got arrested. They got in a fight at one of the local bars. That's all I know."
Alice starts to tear up, so I put my arm around her shoulder. "How are we going to get there?" I ask, trying to think of anyone who could give us a ride. It's the middle of the week, and we don't have many close neighbors.
Rose and I lock eyes, both slowly turning to look at Mrs. Mallory's cabin at the same time.
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