Bella
Mrs. Mallory is there when we get to Rose's, sipping a cocktail and flirting with every man in the room. She's captivating in a loud floral print top and her usual polyester pants, her hair is piled high on her head, and her lips are bright with lipstick.
I hug her in greeting and she reaches out a hand to Edward, smiling slyly when he kisses it. When he takes her glass to refill it, she ogles his ass as he walks away, giving me a look of approval while fanning herself with her hand.
Dinner is casual and very, very loud. Everyone talks over one another and clinks glasses.
I revel in it, the mellow music and my friends and family together. At times everything moves in slow motion and I feel removed from the situation, an observer content to watch the interactions. I find myself smiling widely at each of them.
I'm in love with this moment. I want to keep it somewhere to look at when real life is shitty, to remember that it won't always be that way; to remember that it will get better.
The only time we quiet down is when Mrs. Mallory tells us tales of her youth. It's like she's describing scenes from American Graffiti. She is undoubtedly the guest of honor; Rose seated her at the head of the table, and we hang on her every word. By the time she starts talking classic cars towards the end of dinner, she's got every man in the room wrapped around her finger.
"Wait. Holy shit. You've actually got a '57 Chevy Bel-Air? Here?" Jasper asks, leaning back and letting out a low whistle.
"I sure do, Jazzy," she laughs, grabbing her glass and cigarettes and standing up. "Smalls, come outside with me while I smoke!" Alice grins at her nickname, getting up to follow her, and mouthing "Jazzy?" at Jasper. He raises his eyebrows, mouthing back "Smalls?" She flicks him off, smiling, and walks out the screen door.
Carlisle drives Mrs. M home before we walk down to the bonfire to watch fireworks. We beg her to stay, but insists that she has to get home, promising to watch the show from her deck, "binoculars in hand". We laugh. The boys promise to come over the next day to talk cars and check out her collection. She says that if they give the Bel-Air a tune-up they can take it out for a spin.
Jasper and Edward each give her a kiss on the cheek as Carlisle walks her out. Emmett grabs her and dances her towards the car door in an exaggerated tango. She laughs and lets out a loud whoop as the car pulls out.
I find myself, for the second time, watching in awe as Mrs. M leaves. Girl knows how to make an exit.
We watch the fireworks from the bonfire; the adults still up on the deck. It's just the six of us again, paired off. I don't remember what is said, but I remember laughing a lot, and feeling warm with affection for my family and friends.
A few days later, Jasper proposes to Alice on their second camping trip to the island. She says yes, of course.
The ring is beautiful; ornate, yet not fussy, like her… like their relationship.
Rose reaches over to hold Carlisle's hand while they listen as Alice tells the story of how he got down on one knee, and I see the twinge of sadness between them. I know it's because their mother can't be here to hear this conversation, and see Jasper this happy.
When they've told us the details, Jasper gets up and pulls Rose into a hug, understanding. She cries quietly into his shoulder as he strokes her hair, his eyes shut against his own tears. Carlisle watches them, choked up while Esme rubs his back.
Alice watches Carlisle for a second before getting up and walking towards him with her arms open. He rises, embracing and congratulating her. Jasper and Rose let each other go but he keeps his arm over her shoulder, looking at all of our sad faces.
"Hey! This is a celebration, so bust out the fucking champagne!" he orders, wiping at his eyes. We all relax; getting up to hug everyone while Esme gets the bubbly.
Alice puts her parents on speakerphone for the toast, and afterwards Carlisle and her dad talk for a while.
We pile into the boat to go to see Mrs. M and give her the good news. Champagne flows, and I'm tipsy by noon.
We spend the day on the beach and the boat.
I feel a slight separation between Edward and me. It's probably undetectable to anyone else, in fact it may exist only in my own head, but things have been a little strange since the Texas conversation. We're out of sync. There's a delay; static between our words and expressions that I can't quite decipher. I stuff my insecurities and try to act normal instead of dealing with it.
Until I can't anymore.
The two of us take a walk after dinner. The long day of drinking makes me bold.
"So, do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Love me?"
He stops walking and turns to face the water, not answering.
I get a wave of déjà vu that leaves me feeling sick.
I open my mouth, but he speaks first. "Are you going to move in with me?" I can't help but notice that he doesn't answer my question.
"I don't know…" His face falls further. "I mean, I need time to work everything out with school, and to pack…I've never even been to Texas."
He nods slowly, his eyes still on the lake.
"I don't get it, though, is this some sort of ultimatum? Move in with you or you…don't love me?" I start to get agitated as I work through the thought in my head. "Don't do that. Don't shut me out because I'm being honest, and don't be a prick to keep yourself from feeling vulnerable." He closes his eyes, his jaw flexing.
When he turns to look at me, he's got a defiant look on his face. "Fine. I'm fucking pissed that you didn't just say you would move in with me."
I look him over, waiting for more, but then I realize that it's that simple. He's afraid too. Afraid that I won't say yes, and that I don't feel the same way that he does, that he fucked up too bad to go back.
"So, do you?"
"What?"
"Love me?"
He's quiet for a second, neither of us moving, hardly breathing.
"I do."
I smile and exhale a shaky breath. "Do what?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.
"I love you."
"I love you, too," I answer quickly, like the words were on the tip of my tongue. I want to kiss him, to feel what those words mean, but I don't move. I make my decision right then. "I'm going to come visit you as much as I can. I'll move over Christmas break."
His response is to tackle me back on the beach, putting one of his legs between mine and holding himself over me. The sand is still warm from the sun.
"I love you," he whispers, pressing his lips to mine. I feel his restraint. I feel his want. I decide that tonight's the night.
Edward
Jasper looks so fucking happy. God, I want that so bad.
I'm not sure what I expected. I guess I thought she would say yes right away, like it plays out in movies. Simple.
Nothing is simple with her, though.
Fuck, not that that's a bad thing. I just want things the way I want them. I want her.
When I try to pull away, she calls me on it, putting me in my place so fast that it reinforces why this thing between us works. I'm not good at sacrificing, but I'm going to learn how to put her first. I have to.
So because I love her, I tell her so.
When she says she'll move for me, everything stops. All the bad is gone, and all that's left is the two of us, together, and all I can think about is how bad I want to take off her clothes.
I can't help it.
By the time we get upstairs, Charlie's in bed and the cabin is quiet and dark. I feel like I'm sixteen creeping into her room, her pulling me by my hand. When we get inside she closes the door quietly behind her, leaning back against it. She doesn't turn on the light, and when my eyes adjust I can see her in the moonlight.
She pushes me back on the bed before I can touch her, pulling down the straps of her dress one at a time.
"I'm ready now," she whispers, letting the dress fall. She's fucking beautiful.
I sit on the edge of the mattress, watching her unclasp her bra and slide her panties down her hips, before reaching down to pull my shirt over my head. I let her undress me slowly, until it's just us, smooth skin tan in the moonlight.
She puts one knee on the bed and I grab her hips, steadying her as she straddles me. I can see we're going to skip foreplay. Apparently this last month has been enough.
"I'm ready," she whispers again, her lips pressed to my ear. The bed shifts, the frame creaking loudly in the silent room. We both freeze, listening for any sign that we woke Charlie up.
"Shhhh…" she whispers, grabbing me and aligning us, her movements cautious and restrained, her anticipation showing through her shaking hands and shallow breath.
She lowers herself just a little, the bed creaking again, and stops there, the only sound the two of us breathing. I flex my hands on her hips, wanting to pull her down, but letting her control the pace. She rocks her hips, making me moan, which she stifles by kissing me hard, both of us shaking.
Then it's slow and painfully good; her moving on me, her lips on mine against my neck, whispering "Shhhh…" while I try to fight the urge to moan her name. I grip her hips tightly, our chests pressed together. When she gets closer, I'm the one to quiet her, steadying her and keeping her pace while she shakes. She bites my shoulder hard, her nails digging into my back. I don't last long after that, and she kisses me until I'm done, biting my lower lip lightly when I start to moan.
I don't want to unwrap myself from her. I don't want to be anywhere else.
I tell her I love her again.
We fall asleep, skin on skin, the breeze drifting through the window across us.
Everything is so fucking good after that. Charlie, Bella and I go fishing. We have big dinners and movie nights. Our parents leave a few days later, warning us again to stay out of the bars. Charlie shakes my hand before he leaves for the airport, meeting my eyes and giving me a slight smile and a nod.
I'll take it.
Mrs. M really does have a fucking Bel-Air. Emmett, J and I change the oil, replace the fluids and get it running. We suggest a bikini car wash to get it cleaned up, but Mrs. M insists that we do it instead.
Next thing you know, the girls are lounging on the deck watching the three of us spray each other with the hose and soap up the red car.
"I feel like a piece of meat!" Emmett yells while the girls hoot and clap when Jasper dumps the bucket of soapy water over his head.
"Less talking, more washing, Emmett!" Rose hollers back, making us laugh.
After we wash, wax and buff the car Emmett, J and I take Mrs. M on a ride. We let Emmett drive, warning him to take it easy, but Mrs. M keeps urging him to go faster, letting out loud whoops and throwing her hands up.
We spend a lot of time in her garage that week, helping her get it cleaned out and tuning up classic car after classic car. We're in fucking heaven.
I watch Bella all the time, and every night we fall asleep pressed together, panting.
I want her on me every second of every day, and if her eagerness to touch me is any indication, she feels the same.
She's on her knees in front of me in the shower, my hand gripping the shower bar so hard it hurts.
I'm on my knees with my mouth on her while she sits on the bed watching me between her thighs, her stomach flexing and her quiet moans urging me on.
I'm bending her over the bathroom sink, watching her face in the mirror while I make her come.
I can't imagine not doing this every day. Not just sex, but everything.
Emmett and I start training hard, running every day and lifting weights. It feels good, but it reminds me that time is running out.
I start making plans. I find out when she wants to come out, and I buy her a plane ticket for the end of September. I buy myself one for October. I make sure that her laptop has Skype and a video camera. I make her a playlist of our favorite songs that we listen to in the mornings in her living room. I steal a pair of her panties. I make her wear my t-shirts and don't wash them before I put them on. I cook for her every day. I watch her write. I tell her I love her all the time. I help her start to fill out paperwork for her school transfer. I look into getting a new apartment so we can have our own space when she moves.
Most of all, I try to remember every second with her. The weeks go too fast. Emmett and I coordinate our flights out so we can all drive together to the airport.
She unwinds the green scarf from around her neck, reaching up to put it around mine, her bottom lip trembling.
Jasper and Alice stand off to the side, watching Rose, Emmett, Bella and I say our goodbyes.
"I'm going to miss you," she chokes out, touching my face.
I hate to cry, but when she brushes back a tear with her fingers, I don't feel embarrassed.
"I'll call you when I get in," I promise.
"I'll be waiting."
"I love you."
"I love you more."
One last kiss, our arms gripping each other desperately. and I watch her walk away. Emmett and I stand next to each other, both of us waiting until they're out of sight to turn and walk to our gate. We don't talk much on the flight, but have a few drinks, clinking our glasses of Jameson together and ignoring the flirting of the flight attendants.
It's late when we get home, but I call Bella. It goes straight to voicemail. I leave her a message and collapse on my bed, passing out the second my head hits the pillow, scarf still wound around my neck.