Ok here we go, I'm trying to update this one more so that we can catch up to 'Never Let Go'

Enjoy

Xx

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~ VII ~

I was driving really fast, faster than I normally do, back to the manor. Bella mentioned that she was getting cold and she slid her hand up and down my thigh. We got back in no time and it seemed everyone was out so we ran up to her room

"Edward." Bella giggled when I kissed up and down her neck. Wait! What was I doing? I can't do this to her, but I cant seem to be able to stop.

"Bella." I groaned

"Edward.." She moaned before she attacked my mouth with her lips. I moaned at the sensation and thrust my hips into hers as we crashed down on the bed with me landing on top. Bella pushed against my chest and I willingly flipped over so she could straddle my waist as she stripped off her singlet leaving her in nothing but a midnight blue satin and lace bra; of course she was wearing my favourite color. She started attacking my mouth again, but as she started to undo the buttons on my shirt I realized I couldn't do this.

"Bella.." I tried to get out while Bella continued to undo my buttons. I grabbed hold of her hands and took them away from my shirt. "Bella stop." I told her sternly when she looked up at me confused.

I saw her face turn to one of hurt as tears fell down her face and she quickly jumped off me and ran for the bathroom we both shared.

I heard her lock both doors and I could hear her painful sobs through the door. Shit. What had I done? She's fragile and I've just hurt her. Great work Cullen. I knocked on the door. "Bella I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Please let me explain. It's not what you think." I pleaded in a pained voice. "Bella. I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait outside this door all night if I have to." I promised her.

She unlocked the door and I saw how upset she was. I was a monster. "Bella I'm so sorry I should have explained, not just cut you off like that. I know what you're thinking. You think I don't want you, you feel rejected and after everything you're going through already you probably feel like jumping off a cliff right about now." I rambled but she only nodded in response.

"Bella." I sighed and took her hands as I led her to the bed. She sat down cross legged in front of me in the middle of the bed. "Bella I'm sorry. It's not that I don't want you. God I want you so much." I told her honestly.

"But Edward if.." She started to say before I cut me off.

"I want you so badly Bella. But I can not and will not take advantage of you. Bella, you are very fragile right now. You have been through hell and I have a feeling I don't know the half of it. And you don't have to tell me straight away. When you're ready I will listen and I'll help you move forward. For now I want you but I will not use you. I refuse to disrespect you like that. I want to get to know you more and for you to get to know me, to feel comfortable around me 'cause like I said, I'm not going anywhere. I care deeply for you Bella, and even though I've really only been with you the past few days I feel like I've known you my whole life and I feel a sort of pull like a connection towards you. I don't know I cant explain it and I probably sound like a fool right now." I told her while gently rubbing soothing circles on the back of her small hand.

"No Edward, I know exactly what you mean." She responded. Wait, what did she say? "I feel a connection to you too. I really appreciate that you know how fragile I am and that you wont use me. And I want to get to know you too. I would like to know the real you before we go that far. It's just that when you pushed me away like that. You said it yourself, I'm fragile right now and the first thing I thought was that you didn't want me and I had just put myself out there only to be crushed. As for what I've been through, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. You just need to give me time." She told me looking down.

I used my finger to lift her chin up so I could see her face. "Bella I have time. And I want to spend it with you. How about we just, hangout? You know go out on a few dates. Get to know each other and we'll see where we go from there. Start a fresh." I suggested.

"I'd like that Edward. Will you still stay with me at night?" She asked me looking unsure.

"Of course. How many times do I have to tell you I'm not going anywhere?" I told her laughing slightly.

She smiled then and said she was hungry. We headed down to the kitchen holding hands. I cooked her favorite mushroom ravioli. After eating dinner we went back upstairs. I got changed while Bella had a shower and I got in under the covers of her bed reading a book.

Bella walked out in her pj's; a blue satin camisole and flannel pants; I saw her standing there looking at me so I pulled back the covers and opened my arms invitingly for her. She snuggled in close to my chest, and I tucked the covers around us both.

She fell asleep quickly, but once again quickly shot bolt upright gasping for air and I just pulled her back against my chest which she clung to as sobbed. I laid us back down so I was flat against the mattress and Bella was curled into my side clinging to me. It took a while for her sobs to calm down and I asked if she was ok, or if she needed anything, she just shook her head. I kissed the top of her hair and forehead just like the other night; it seemed to soothe her and she fell back asleep in my arms as I hummed the lullaby I had put together for her. She was in so much pain; I wish I could take it away. I fell asleep dreaming of my Bella in my arms.

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