The Mercy of Mot
Chapter 2
Daniel bypassed the lunch tent and headed towards an area of the ruins where he had been translating some writing. The sting of Jack's words only strengthened his decision to make a change. He had spent a good deal of time contemplating what he wanted to do now. Now that Sha're was gone. Now that his reason for going through the gate was gone.
At first, he had felt numb, which was quickly replaced by an ache that hurt clear to his soul. He realized he had spent more years looking for her than he'd had with her. But he had been able to see her one last time; hear her beautiful voice speak to him. I love you, Danyel. It felt like big pieces of him were being torn away; the first piece ripped away when he was only eight, another when his grandfather refused to adopt him, and another equally large piece just four weeks ago. He didn't think he could afford to lose any more—there wouldn't be anything left of him. And if he lost Jack or Sam or Teal'c . . . No, it would be better to go where there was no chance of another piece being ripped from him.
When the grief had become overwhelming, he had focused his energy on trying to persuade his team that Sha're had sent him a message through the hand device. That she had asked him to find her son. They had tried, as gently as possible, to tell him that it wasn't possible, that it was just a way for him to cope with the grief. Eventually, he had started to believe it too. He had felt even more lost without the support of his friends. He didn't feel like he belonged at the SGC anymore. Maybe it was time to go back to his roots—back to the work he loved to do.
The people here were wonderful. Jerob and Cora reminded him of a couple of archaeologists who had mentored him on a dig in college. They had been excited to listen to his suggestions regarding excavation methods and especially interested when he told them he could translate the writing found in the ruins, something they had been unable to do. He felt useful.
He had considered staying on Earth to pursue his interest, but quickly realized that he would have no peace there. He was privy to too much classified information for them to just let him go. And then there was the NID. He really didn't want to think about what kind of danger he would be in from them. No, staying offworld was really the only option.
He stopped when he reached a stone stele covered in writing. He had been working on it earlier, but had taken a break from it to help uncover some artifacts the archaeological team had found. He recognized the writing when he first saw it—it was Phoenician. Jerob and Cora had been surprised and extremely happy when he informed them he could translate it.
Hoping to resume his translation, it dawned on him that he didn't have his notebook. Retrieving it would mean he'd have to go back to where everyone was congregated, and that was something he just didn't want to do at this point. So instead, he sat down across from the stele and let his eyes roam over the inscription, working it out in his head.
A shadow blocked the sun from his eyes and he looked up to see Sam standing beside him.
"Jack send you after me?" he snapped, sounding petulant.
"You don't think I'd come talk to you without being ordered?" she replied equally testy.
He ducked his head. "Sorry. Just residual anger from Jack's little pep talk."
"Didn't go well?"
"You could say that."
He still wasn't looking at her and didn't offer any more, so she decided to change the subject. She sat down next to him, shoulders touching, and looked at the stele. "How's the translation coming?" she asked, pointing to the carved stone.
He looked up at the stele then. "Pretty well. It's in praise of the god Mot."
"Who was he?"
"To the Phoenicians he was the god of death."
"Nice. What does it say about him?"
"This part here," he said, pointing to a section of the stele, "talks about him being just. 'He who calls upon the mercy of Mot shall be heard and they will be judged justly.'"
"Sure we're talking about a goa'uld?" Sam replied, smiling at the absurdity of a "just" goa'uld.
"Just a little propaganda," he said, giving her a small smile of his own.
"Now that sounds like a goa'uld," she returned, pleased that she had been able to coax a small smile from him.
They were quiet for a few moments before Daniel spoke again.
"Sam, you didn't come over here to hear a lecture on Phoenician gods. What's up?"
"Actually, Daniel, I do enjoy hearing your lectures." She bumped shoulders with him them, eliciting another small smile. "But you're right, there's more to it. The call from the base camp came in—the leaders have arrived and are waiting to talk to us. The colonel wants to leave first thing in the morning."
"I'm staying here, Sam. The three of you can handle it without me."
"Why? Daniel, you're our cultural expert and the best negotiator we have."
"They've already agreed to trade; this is just a formality—a chance to meet face to face. The details of what will be traded should be easy to work out."
Sam didn't like the feeling she was getting. Since when did Daniel turn down a chance to meet the locals—especially the leaders of a society? Something else was going on.
"Daniel, what were you and the colonel talking about?"
He was quiet just long enough that Sam thought he wasn't going to answer, then he spoke slowly and quietly. "I told Jack that I want to stay here, on this planet, permanently. I'm going to quit the SGC."
"Daniel, you can't! We need you. Especially if we're ever going to defeat the goa'uld."
"I'm an archaeologist, Sam. I don't think anything I do is going to make much difference when it comes to defeating a powerful alien race bent on galactic domination."
"But you've already made a significant contribution, Daniel. We wouldn't have accomplished what we have without your help. Look, I know you're upset and still hurting from losing Sha're, but please reconsider. At least think about taking a leave of absence instead of quitting."
"My mind's made up, Sam."
"But—"
"I don't want to talk about it. Please, Sam. Let me get back to work on this translation."
End of conversation. She was being shut out. Deciding she'd make things worse if she pressed him, she relented. She grabbed one of his hands in hers and squeezed. "Okay. I'll see you later. But, just think about it."
He squeezed back before releasing her hand and getting up to move closer to the stele.
~oOo~
Daniel had worked until it was too dark to see. At some point he had sneaked back to get his notebook without being seen. He had also avoided his teammates for the rest of the evening, grabbing a plate of food before heading to his tent. Sam had told Jack about Daniel's decision not to go meet with the leaders and Jack had released his frustration by kicking the nearest wall, which, unfortunately, was made of rock. Sam had announced that she could find nothing broken in his foot, which did nothing to ease the pain in his foot or his spirit. Once Teal'c had been filled in on Daniel's decision to leave the SGC, he had requested permission to go and speak with Daniel about the matter.
"Daniel Jackson."
Daniel looked up from his book and saw the large shadow standing at the entrance to his tent. He wasn't surprised—he'd been expecting a visit from his third teammate.
Sighing, he said, "Come in, Teal'c."
Teal'c entered and remained standing by the tent opening, hands clasped behind his back.
"I must speak with you, Daniel Jackson."
"I know what this is about, Teal'c, but like I told Sam, I've already made up my mind."
"I beg you to reconsider. I am the one responsible for taking Sha're from you. It is I who should leave."
He didn't want to contribute to the guilt Teal'c felt at having to take Sha're's life in order to save his. "No, Teal'c. I meant it when I said you did the right thing. She's not suffering any more, and I thank you for that. But I need to get back to doing what I do best—archaeology. And you need to do what you do best—fight the goa'uld. Believe me, this is the right thing to do."
"Is there nothing I can say or do that will change your mind?"
"No. But thank you for your concern."
Teal'c bowed and left the tent. Daniel felt a twinge of sadness that he would be leaving these people who had almost become like family. All the more reason to leave now, he thought.
~oOo~
The next morning Jack and Teal'c stood outside the dining tent ready to leave. Jerob and Cora and two other archaeologists stood with them, ready to accompany them to the base camp. Jack had sent Sam to get Daniel and he saw her walking back towards them, alone.
"Where is he?" Jack asked, a hint of impatience in his voice.
"Hiram said he's already out in the ruins working."
Sam could see the muscles in his jaw tighten. "What the hell does he think—"
"Well, sir, he did say last night that he wasn't going with us. He said we could handle it without him."
In other words, we'd better learn to handle it without his help, Jack thought. "Fine," he said, pulling on his cap and adjusting his P-90.
Jerob and Cora had been listening to the conversation, and Jerob addressed Jack. "I do not know the reason behind it, but it is obvious that Daniel is struggling with a great sadness. I do not mean to interfere, Colonel, but may I suggest that it might be best to let him alone for awhile—give him time to work it out for himself."
Except that he's already worked it out and I don't like the answer, Jack thought. But instead, he answered, "You're probably right. Let's move out."
"Sir," Carter said, hesitating. "Let me stay and try talking to him. Maybe I can get him to change his mind."
"Great—half my team has mutinied," Jack muttered. "You really think you can talk some sense into that hard head, Major?"
"I have some experience in that area, sir," she managed with a straight face.
He let the comment slide, also seeing determination in her face and knowing she was as upset as he was at the thought of losing Daniel. He knew she would do everything she could to change his mind.
"All right, you can stay. Check in at twelve hour intervals. And Major—good luck."
"Thank you, sir."
~oOo~
Sam left her pack in her tent and went looking for Daniel. She found him examining a second stele, notebook in one hand as he ran the other over the writing on the stone. She paused for a second, wondering how he would react to her staying. Taking a deep breath, she decided to jump in with both feet.
"Hey, Daniel, how's it going?" she said, trying to sound casual.
He jerked his head away from the stele to look at her. "Sam? What are you doing here? I thought you guys had left already."
"The colonel and Teal'c went; I decided to stay and see if you needed some help."
He narrowed his eyes at her and she could see a brief flash of anger in them. But when he spoke, his voice gave no hint of it. "Really. I'm surprised Jack agreed to that, and I'm surprised you'd rather stay here than meet their leaders. But, sure, we could use some more hands."
She had no doubt he had figured out her real reason for staying, but she continued with the act of offering her assistance, hoping she would find the right time to get him to talk. "Actually, I thought it would be more fun to help you, especially if our time together's going to be limited."
TBC