Chibi-Kari: Hey all! Guess what? There are four more chapters after this and they are done! Since I've actually got the story completed on my computer I'm going to propose a posting rule. 10 reviews means a new chapter and I'll keep going until all the chapters are done. If I don't get 10 after a week I'll post the next chapter. So it's 10 or a week, whichever comes first. When I post the last chapter I'll post the first chapter to my new story! If we do the week thing, there won't be a posting next week..I'm moving out and it'll take a bit for my internet service to start up. I don't own, but enjoy!

With your focuses changing, your gaze is transfixed on a point that I can't often see.

I heard that you were living well, but you don't look like you're living to me. Though the sparkle is gone, your smile is in place so that everyone watching can see. You've got them all convinced.

-"So Beautiful" Dashboard Confessional

Shelby had been furious when they returned. It was something he had never seen before. There was a fire and anger in her that was frightening. It was even worse than the time she had been accused for working her club to the point of negligence. All of Vocal Adrenaline heard when she called Rachel's parents. Jesse flinched several times as her voice boomed out of her room and through the hallway. No one had a right to hear Rachel's business and it seemed that Rachel's fathers didn't think any of this was Shelby's.

She mumbled the next morning, mockingly, about 'Finding her own way and making her own mistakes.' She wasn't happy. Everyone could tell she oozed anger out of every pore. A bell boy actually dove out of her way when she stormed through the lobby looking for New Direction's coach. She was in the process of bitching out the receptionist, Jesse just inches behind her wondering if it was safe to try and calm her down, when Will walked in.

"Shelby." His voice cut across the lobby and Jesse was sure he had never seen his coach move so fast.

Shelby was standing in front of Will as the last of her name echoed through the now empty lobby. She knew how to clear out a room. Jesse sauntered up to the group not sure if he really wanted to find out what was going on or if one of the couches would send him away.

"What did her fathers say?" Will questioned glancing at Jesse. He wasn't sure he liked the idea of the boy listening to this, but he was a part of the reason Rachel was acting the way she was. He was sure of that.

Shelby huffed in indignation, "They pulled some crap about expressing herself and making her own mistakes. They seemed delighted that she got a part in a musical and nothing else mattered. Then they made it very clear to me that I had no right to interfere with her life. And that I shouldn't even be talking to her after what happened."

Jesse stared in shock at her. He couldn't believe Rachel's parents would say that. They had always been upstanding, a bit liberal for his tastes, but two wonderful people. Sure, he had often thought that they might have pushed Rachel a bit too much. She seemed to be lacking in most of the fundamental childhood experiences, but she always said it was her choice, "Maybe they just didn't believe that she would do that. She's always been the apple of their eyes."

Shelby deflated slightly as she turned to look at her young student, "You're probably right. They've known me to be a bit of a drama queen so they probably thought I was exaggerating. Normal high school parties aren't like that are they? Please don't tell me you and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline do those kinds of things."

He shook his head. Truth be told he didn't think anyone had parties like that except on television, "No way. There is normally some alcohol and maybe some pot, but that's it. I've never seen anything like that." Shelby's eyes narrowed and Jesse almost took a step back. "Of course Vocal Adrenaline knows not to take part in those activities…we attend for social reasons only." She nodded appeased and Jesse sighed in relief. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt them. He just prayed she didn't go out and buy some drug tests from Walgreens…he knew some of the kids smoked occasionally. He really didn't need her disqualifying half of the team because of his mouth…on top of everything else.

Will shifted from leg to leg before shaking his head slightly. He couldn't deny that some of his students partied more than they should. Actually, Puck was the only name that really came to mind. "Well I just got back from talking to her. Besides being horribly hung over she seemed alright."

"Alright? Acting like that I'd say she's far from alright!" Shelby scoffed.

Will narrowed his eyes, "And do you blame her? She's hurt and trying to find a place to fit in. The glee kids haven't always been the best to her. Jesse left her. You decided you didn't want her. Her dads sent her here. Are you surprised she feels abandoned and fell in with the first people that accepted her? Are you shocked that she's trying to take control of her life? Granted, she shouldn't be doing it this way, but I think she actually believes this is her only option. She's scared and hurt. And at this point I'm not sure she believes she can leave this new Rachel behind. This is how she's coped with things." He shook his head. "I'll call her fathers and talk to them."

Jesse sat heavily on the couch in the lobby. Shelby and Will stared awkwardly at each other for a minute before leaving him alone. This wasn't what he wanted. He still loved her; he had just been upset with her. He tried to hurt her like she had hurt him and it bit him in the ass. He thought after he upset her that she would…actually he wasn't sure what he thought she would do. This wasn't it, though. He expected they would be back together after Regionals. She wasn't supposed to come out here. She wasn't supposed to be doing this. To be with some other guy. It was obvious they were sleeping together. She hadn't let him in, but this random guy she hadn't known very long was able to swoop in and take that from him.

She was hurt. He understood that. Rachel always felt left out and so for once in her life she tried to fit in. Or maybe she just fit in with these kids and decided to go with the crowd. That thought hurt. The whole idea hurt. He knew she longed to have people around her and would do anything to get that. The Run Joey Run video showed that to him and he pushed her right into it.

He shook his head before standing up and heading to reception. He was going to find her and apologize. Hopefully he could talk some sense into her. This…whatever this stage was…needed to end. He asked for directions to her aunt's house and thanked God that Rachel had talked about Sherry before. He knew where she lived and it was easy enough to get directions.

The subway ride there was long and he couldn't help but glance at the signs for various Broadway shows littering the car. He could picture Rachel's face on one of those. He just hoped it wouldn't be as ragged as it looked last night. She was changing before his eyes and he had to stop it. He had to get through to her before it was too late. There just wasn't another option.

He got there faster than he thought he would and found himself unsure, for once in his life, as he stared at the worn wood door in front of him. Gathering all his courage he knocked loudly.

The door squeaked open and he found himself face to face with the girl from the night before that claimed to be Rachel's cousin. He guessed she must be Alicia. She wasn't exactly what Rachel had described to him. This girl was jaded and full of mystery, not the wide eyed idealist that Rachel had told him about.

Alicia's eyes narrowed as she quickly tried to slam the door in his face. He reached forward and stopped it with his hand. It smarted slightly, but he wouldn't let her know that. She might get some sick satisfaction out of that. Actually, he was certain she would based on the look she was giving him.

"I just want to talk to her." His voice was pleading and it sickened him. This wasn't Jesse St. James, but this is what Rachel's actions had reduced him to.

"How about no. Don't you guys think you've done enough to her already? She cried after that man left this morning! I'm not subjecting her to more of this." Jesse was sure that if looks could kill he would be more than dead right now.

"Just, please. I won't make her cry. I promise."

She gave him a slightly disbelieving look before opening the door farther and pointing him towards her bedroom.

"If I hear crying I'll come in there and hand your balls to you." She left him standing there staring. He didn't doubt her for a minute. He was glad that Rachel had someone looking out for her no matter how painful it seemed.

He nodded to himself slightly as he approached the open door. In less than fifteen steps he was standing in the doorway. He could see her still form laying on the bed. She was distraught. Rachel was so much like her mother when it came to expressing everything without saying a word. It was the one thing she had wrong. She didn't need all of her words to get her point across. She was able to do it with one look.

He stood for a moment longer taking her in. It hurt that he hadn't seen her in months and when he did it was this mess. For a moment, her just laying there, he could imagine they were back in her bedroom. That she was upset that the club had disregarded her again. Not that she was so lost. That she was reaching for something he couldn't even see.

"Rachel." She flinched and stiffened. He waited a moment, but she refused to move and look at him. With a sigh he made his way over to her bed, his feet padding lightly on the beige carpet. The room was so neutral. So different than Rachel's bright room back home. He stood parallel to her back before taking a seat on the edge of the bed next to her. He wasn't sure what to say or what to do. "Rachel."

"Go away." Her voice was muffled from the pillow and he couldn't help but stifle an inappropriate laugh. She had said that to him on more than one occasion with a much different meaning, but it still brought back a wave of nostalgia.

"You know you really don't want me to." Normally she would have flipped on her back smiling up at him and opening her arms wide. This time she didn't move. He took comfort in the fact that she wasn't refuting the statement.

He glanced at her body lying still beside him. She was so close. It was so natural. Jesse tried to mentally stop himself, but his hand seemed to have a mind of its own. It moved up before landing lightly on her back. It always amazed him that his hand could span the entirety of her lower back. It felt right. Everything about her still felt right. "You need to come home."

"Home? Where exactly is that, Jesse?" She was suddenly angry and he could feel her body shift as her fists balled under the pillow.

"Lima. With your fathers. With Shelby." He had to stop himself from adding with me.

Rachel scoffed before turning over and flinging his hand off of her, "Really? Last I checked Shelby wasn't my mom. She didn't want me. In fact, she got herself a new little girl, didn't she?" Jesse flinched slightly. He couldn't say anything to that. Rachel just continued, "And my fathers? They sent me here, didn't they? What do you want from me? What did you think even coming here would accomplish? Did Mr. Schue give you this address? Send you here to seduce me like my mother did before?"

Jesse through his arms up in the air and stumbled from the bed, "What the fuck, Rachel? I loved you. It had nothing to do with Shelby and Mr. Schuester didn't give me this address. I listened to you. I always listened when you spoke. This isn't you. Whoever this new Rachel is needs to hit the road. You were always sweet, dedicated, and knew where you were going. You don't know what you're doing anymore. I can see that! I can see you!"

Rachel recoiled as if he had slapped her, "I never knew where I was going. Don't pretend to know me!"

"I can't even pretend to know you! I don't know this new you, but I knew the old you. I loved that you. Everything about you. I knew how uncomfortable you really were with your parents. I know how you always looked for someone to tell you that what you were doing was right. I always knew what would make you smile the brightest." He suddenly felt exhausted and collapsed into the chair pulled slightly out of the writing desk to the left of the bed.

Her breathing was ragged, but her voice was unnervingly calm, "They why did you let them do it? The eggs. Why did you leave me alone?"

Jesse focused on the floor in front of him before shaking his head, "I was angry. I was so angry that you wouldn't let me be enough. I didn't know about the eggs. I swear I didn't know. And Shelby…I didn't think I was leaving you alone. I thought she would take care of you, not leave you. I didn't know, Rachel. I…I just didn't know."

She nodded slightly, "Are you still angry?"

"Yes. But for a completely different reason. I don't know who you are anymore, Rachel. I thought I knew you, but not now. I can't tell who you are." Jesse found himself overcome with the need to leave. He couldn't be in the room with her, not like this. "I have to go." He stood up and walked to the door. Jesse couldn't abandon her again, but he just couldn't be with her like this, "Rach-I. If you need anything call me. I'll be there as fast as I can. Just-I just can't be with you right now. I can't see anything of that girl I love. Just…call me when you find some part of her." He left the room as quickly as he could without looking back. He couldn't swoop in and save her. She had to make the first step herself.

Rachel sat for a moment longer, staring at the door, "I can't see anything of her either."