Chapter 8 Thrice the Confusion
That afternoon, Shaoran knew that Sakura and the others were having a student council meeting but somehow the incident that afternoon struck inside his head. Sakura was really apprehensive when she had met up with him and Rika at the stairway. What even surprised him more was when Ryu came and took her hand to accompany her to her classroom. Sakura didn't seem to mind that. She allowed herself to be led by the hand by Ryu. It crossed Shaoran's mind again if they were going out or something. He couldn't understand why he was really troubling over that.
He and Rika were walking home. Well, he was walking Rika home. After hanging out for a while, it was already dark and they both knew that they needed to head back since they still have some things to do in preparation for the next day.
Rika suddenly brought up, "I think they make a sweet couple. Don't you think, Shaoran?"
He was a little taken aback with her comment. He wasn't even sure whom she was referring to. "What? Who?" Shaoran said.
"You know, Ryu and Sakura." Rika said, rather excited and pleased. She was smiling at him.
Shaoran hid his reaction. He wasn't sure if he shared the same sentiments. "Come on, Rika. We don't even know if they are really going out or much less, going steady." Shaoran chose to answer.
"Come on, Shaoran." Rika said as she intertwined her arm in his. She then added, "Aren't you happy for your best friend? I think Ryu is a perfect match for her. They are both in the student council and very responsible. They are athletic and people like them. Can't you see the chemistry?"
"Frankly, I don't. Besides, I know Sakura. She's not the type who thinks of guys just yet." Shaoran answered.
"Well I say a girl is still a girl. Maybe that's the reason why she still hasn't had a boy friend because you always contradict. You're not her brother you know so you shouldn't be so overprotective. The girl does deserve to be happy." Rika said.
Shaoran smirked. They were by Rika's door. She turned to him and said, "Would you like to come in?"
Shaoran gave her a small smiled but declined. "I've got kendo early tomorrow. There are still some things that I need to do." He said.
Rika seemed a little disappointed but smiled at him. "Ok then. I'll come by and watch. See you tomorrow, Shaoran. Good night." Rika said. Shaoran nodded at her and told her good night before heading off.
On his way home, he bumped into Ryu and Kenishiro. "Hey Shaoran. Heading home?" Ryu said as they greeted him. Shaoran gave him a nod. He was as stoic as ever.
"You want to hang out for a while? We were just on our way to that new soba restaurant near the shrine to grab something to eat before heading home." Kenishiro said.
"Yeah. Want to come? It's just a guys night out." Ryu said. Shaoran shrugged as he tagged along.
"Where's Rika? I thought that you guys were together?" Kenishiro said.
"I already accompanied her home." Shaoran answered as they continued walking.
"You guys have this on-again, off-again thing?" Ryu asked as they sat in the small restaurant and ordered.
"Yeah. I guess you can say that. One minute she just felt that we had to go out separate ways and then the next thing I knew, she said she's ready to give it another chance." Shaoran answered. Kenishiro and Ryu smirked.
"If you ask me, she's got you hanging man. I know it's hard to understand how girls think sometimes but damn. She's got extreme mood changes." Kenishiro commented, making Ryu smirk.
"Quit it, Kenishiro. We can't choose the people to fall in love with. It just so happens that Shaoran here was taken by Rika." Ryu said.
"How about you and Sakura? You guys going out?" Shaoran suddenly asked.
Kenishiro spat some of his drink as he was taken by the sudden question. Ryu smirked and replied, "Sakura's my vice. It's only natural for me to look after her. But besides that, Sakura's also a friend of mine."
"I don't know what you guys are talking about but Shaoran, look at it this way. We are all part of the student council and it's also part of the job to look after each other, especially in times like this where it seems like hell going about our responsibilities." Kenishiro suddenly commented. Shaoran smirked and gulp on his drink a little.
After dinner, Kenishiro went on ahead as they parted ways. Shaoran suddenly said to Ryu, "Just don't hurt her."
Ryu seemed a little surprised but then smirked and replied, "Don't worry. I would never think about hurting her. I told you. She's my friend. I only want her to be happy. I should be telling you that, you know. I don't know what happened between the two of you but she seems a little different. I'm not sure maybe it's all the stress that's happening. But as her best friend, don't stop her from attaining happiness. Let her spread her wings and learn to love just like you have. I think it's you why guys were apprehensive in courting her. Now that you have Rika again, don't overshadow her."
Shaoran seemed really surprised with what Ryu had just told him. He noticed it too. Ryu noticed that Sakura was a bit different towards him. But maybe he had a point that it was all that stress with everything that were going on at the same time but still he knew that there was something different. He just couldn't put his finger on it.
"I know Sakura well enough to know that she's really happy for you since you have already found Rika. I can see that a part of her wonders how it feels like. I don't really know. She hasn't said anything. But let her fall in love by giving her space. She deserves that much from you even if I know it's hard." Ryu added.
"Like I said, just don't hurt her, Ryu. If you do, you will have to face me." Shaoran answered. Ryu smirked.
"I expected that much. See you around, Shaoran." Ryu said before he left Shaoran.
Ryu's thoughts fell on Sakura. Judging from her expressions, he knew that something was up with her personally. He didn't know what and he wasn't about to ask her point blank. He wanted her to come to him if she wanted him to know her problem. He didn't want to pry that might push her away. He must admit though that he was captivated by Sakura's beauty, personality, perseverance, intelligence and optimism. He wasn't really thinking about courting her but he didn't mind acting like he was to protect her.
He saw her hesitance in her eyes even if she tried desperately to hide it. Ryu wondered how Shaoran could not see that. Maybe he could, he figured that Shaoran must have just chosen not to act on his presumptions. Ryu told himself that he would be there for her, for Sakura. He felt this need to protect her. He didn't know that it was the start that he never expected. Ryu didn't seem to mind. Ryu found himself smiling at the thought of her. He shook his head. He couldn't believe that that girl seemed very fragile and yet possess great strength and capability that left anyone she encountered in awe.
What was it, Ryu wondered, that made him feel that he had to protect her? He knew that she was strong and could handle anything that came her way. But what was it that made him feel that he just needed to do something to shield her from pain? He figured that it was because she was a friend to him and a trusted comrade, confidant. She always had a smile on her face that would seem to drown out any negativity.
Sakura was always there for him. She was always ready to hear him out or work through the hours of student council business without complaining. She was always ready to help him, no questions asked. Ryu figured that it was about time that he did the same for her.
His mind then drifted to that afternoon when he had accompanied her to her classroom, Sakura was still thinking about him. She was thinking on how people might start to think and what that could do to him rather than her. Through her problems, she still would smile at him warmly that it made Ryu wonder what it was that Sakura was really hiding behind that smile of hers.
For a split second he thought he saw but he couldn't be certain. He will just have to wait and see how things turned out. In the meantime, he would be there to make sure that she doesn't get hurt that much. Yes. That was it…no questions asked…that was it.
Shaoran, on the other hand, walked home deep in thought. Somehow he just couldn't shake off the feeling he was getting with the recent turn of events. Ryu was interested in her and he could tell that. Ryu did say that he was always going to be there to take care of her, watch over her. Shaoran told himself that he should be content with that. Ryu was right that he should let Sakura find her own happiness just like she let him find it out for himself.
When he got home, he dropped his bag by the door and fell back in bed. He stared at the ceiling. Why was he being so worked up? Sakura was his best friend and it was only natural that he'd protect her from guys who could potentially hurt her. But how come he just couldn't let the issue go? Was he being unfair just like Ryu had said? Ryu did notice that there was something different about her, about them.
Shaoran knew that there was something that ran deeper between him and Sakura than he was willing to admit. Space. Yeah. Space was developing between them. Ryu suggested that he should give her space to 'spread her wings' so he said. Maybe somehow Shaoran hadn't given that and it was more Sakura's effort.
It felt like Shaoran was losing her. He smirked at himself. He told himself that he was being ridiculous. It wasn't like they were going steady or that they were in love. He should know that it was bound to happen. Sooner or later, Sakura would find someone and fall in love. He had no right to stop that even if he was her best friend. She stood by him during the ups and downs of his relationship with Rika. She supported him no matter what. Isn't it that she deserved that much from her too? He had always been the wall that protected her heart from pain but perhaps this time he was the wall keeping her from loving.
What kind of best friend did that make him now? Come to think of it, Sakura hadn't even called to ask him for help in her math. It seemed that Sakura was trying her best to make it on her own without relying on anybody, even him. But he did have to admit that he missed Sakura's company. He missed those moments where they would just hang out and talk about non-superficial stuff, stuff that they cared about freely without thinking that the other might judge the other. He missed his best friend.
He had Rika but it was different. Even if they had had the relationship for a while before she ended it a month back and got back together the past week, Shaoran still found it difficult to talk to her about a few things, things that he never had a problem opening up with Sakura.
But Shaoran was no fool. He knew that things must change. Life had to move forward for the both of them. Even if they were best friends, they still had to make decisions on their own and walk their own paths even if it meant that they had to drift apart from each other a little bit.
It crossed Shaoran's mind that this might have what Sakura had felt when he first went steady with Rika. Maybe the feeling that he was feeling was what Sakura felt that he told himself not to see. It made him feel a little bit more awful than he was thinking that he had been too selfish to see how things might have felt or seemed to Sakura. He hadn't been there for her but throughout that time, she never once left his side. She just smiled at him and offered him encouragement.
Shaoran always knew that Sakura was the type of person who would not just sit back and cry over her problems. She was the type who would get up and put a big smile on her face and do something about it, no matter how painful or hard it may seem. He figured that maybe that was what she was doing now…moving on. That was when Shaoran decided that he would indeed give her the space that she needed from him. It was the right thing to do anyway, he figured.
But if it were the right thing to do, how come he really felt lousy about it? Shaoran closed his eyes and tried to forget his frustration. He was failing miserably. It was really weird that no matter what he reasoned out inside his head, nothing seemed to make him feel better or slightly accepting towards the subject. It was like forcing a solution upon an inappropriate problem.
Was he jealous, he wondered…now he knew that he was being an idiot. It wasn't like he was in love with Sakura. Rika was his girl friend. How can that be complicated? They were friends, best friends. How can he be jealous? He quickly dismissed the idea from his head.
But little did everyone know that somewhere under that night sky, another young man was thinking and intrigued about Sakura. It was not really a surprise since she was a very popular girl in school, well loved by those around her, beautiful and talented. Guys would be crazy to not even like her even a little bit.
But he was different. He just met her but still, it felt as if he had already known her for a long time. Sakura made him feel welcome, normal. From the moment he had laid eyes on her, he knew that he could trust her. Her actions since he entered their school showed that he hadn't been wrong. Eriol knew that she would never betray his trust. Eriol couldn't help but smile when his mind would drift towards her. To him, Sakura simply was an amazing person.
He reflected that he had never met anyone like her before. She stood out from all the people whom he had already encountered and were meeting. It didn't take much to convince him to like her. It was pretty surprising that he immediately found himself gravitate towards her.
Eriol then remembered his conversation with Sakura recently. "Eriol, which ever path you decided to take, reject the offer or simply go through with it or whatever, I will back you up. I also have Ryu-san's blessing with this one. He said that if you will be needing our help, you don't even have to ask him and that goes without saying that I will be there to help as well." She told him. She smiled at him that made him feel light. With it he knew that everything, as she said, was going to be alright.
"You know what, Sakura? I've been thinking about it for quite some time actually. Maybe it's not that bad if people knew who I really am. I mean, they are eventually going to find out anyway." Eriol said.
Sakura looked at him with a smile on her face. She then asked him, "Are you sure? Once you go there, there's no turning back."
"Yeah I know. Might as well get it over with now than later. I doubt if it will be easier later anyway."
"Are you really, really sure?"
Eriol smiled at her and said, "If you put it that way, I find myself questioning if I really am sure."
Sakura smiled at him and said, "I thought so. Look, no one is forcing you to do this. Right now you have to weigh things as they are. You have to figure out which terms you can live with. No matter what it will be, it will demand a price from you so you really should be sure that you will be able to live with yourself after you've decided and gone through with it."
Eriol smiled. He knew that she would say something like that. It wouldn't be like her if she didn't. "Ok then. It's settled. I'm going through with it. I'm going to accept their invitation."
Sakura seemed surprised. She almost stuttered. "What? That was quick." She then laughed before continuing, "What made you set your mind?"
"You."
Sakura turned to him in surprise. She wasn't sure what it meant but she thought she heard what she did.
Eriol smiled at her and said, "You said it yourself. No one is forcing me to do this and I should be able to live with my decision. I feel that this is the right decision." He paused as he looked at her and said, "What I really wanted was a normal life. I wanted to feel how it is to be just everybody else for me, for who I really am. I figured that this is not really what's happening. All these hiding and lying to everyone, how can I expect them to accept me if they don't know? You treat me like a real person, without the title and I've never really had that since all the singing engagements started. So I figured, the reason why you accepted me is because I was honest with you and I gave you my trust. Besides, you can't expect others to trust you if you can't trust in them, right?"
Sakura smiled at him and nodded. "Alright. If that is what you want, I will support you 100%. It will be chaotic for a while but I'm sure things will settle down." She commented.
Eriol nodded. "Thanks for trusting me, Eriol. I really appreciate it." She then said.
"No, Sakura. Thank you, not just for the trust but for everything, especially the friendship." He replied.
Just seeing her smile warmly was enough to make him forget the doubts he would feel. He would find his way again. Being in the music business, it was hard to be a normal teenager and experience life for what it really is. After a long time, he knew that he was just like any other person in the world again.
Sakura somehow made him believe that even if you are an achiever, you can still have your feet on the ground. She showed him that. She was a student council vice president, an ace student, a cheerleader, a gymnast and recently an aspiring figure skater. She always did things with a smile too. Eriol believed that he could do it too. It wasn't such a big deal to finally tell people his secret because he knew that it was going to be worthwhile just like what she had taught him.
He didn't exactly know if his heart was starting to fall for her. But he certainly didn't mind the idea. He liked her. He liked her a lot. But he also didn't want to play with her heart. If one day he would eventually wake up and realize that his heart belonged to her, he certainly wouldn't be surprised.
Eriol looked up at the night sky. He knew that somewhere beneath it, Sakura was also probably looking up at the same moon, the same stars, the same sky. He couldn't help but smile. He then wondered what would Shaoran or Ryu have done if he found out that Eriol was thinking of Sakura and was contemplating if he was starting to fall for her. Yeah. What would they do?
(to be continued…)
There are times when one is really acting like an idiot without him really noticing it. Anyway, there are still a lot of things to happen before things come around in a full circle. Thanks to those who have read up to this far and to those who sent in their reviews. I really appreciate it. I hope that you continue on with this journey and also to please keep sending in your reviews. Thanks.
Michiko