Chapter 32 The Talk

'Shaoran, we need to talk. Meet me tomorrow at 8 at Central. It's been more than a month since your accident so I know you can leave now. We really need to talk. –Ryu'

XxXxXx

After Sakura calmed down, she finally broke off from Eriol. "I'm sorry. It's just overwhelming. I don't usually cry like this in front of people." Sakura said as she tried to regain her composure.

Eriol handed her his handkerchief. She thanked him and accepted as she wiped her tears. "Hey I'm not really good at making people feel better but if you need me, you know I'm here for you, Sakura." Eriol said making Sakura smile.

Sakura held the handkerchief in her hand and had her eyes there. She wanted to tell him what had happened but didn't exactly know the right words to start. Eriol waited for her patiently. "Hey Eriol…if I told you that I am such a bad person, would you believe me?" Sakura said.

"No."

Sakura gave him a small smile and asked, "Why?"

"Because you are Sakura and I've seen how much of yourself you give for others to benefit while aiming for your dream."

She exasperated and hugged her legs, resting her chin on her knees. "I am not that good of a person, Eriol. You make me sound like some 'martyr' or 'saint' or something. I'm not. So why won't you believe me?"

Eriol leaned against the wall and looked at her. He couldn't help but grin. "Sakura, you have taught me to always see the goodness in other people. You taught me that it is better to look for people's good qualities than seek and dwell on the negative ones. Yeah. It's true that no one is perfect. Hey no one is right all the time as much as no one is wrong all the time. It's not a question if I believe you or not. I think it's more on about perspectives. I have mine and you have yours."

"I guess you're right. I just feel so bad, Eriol, you know. I feel this guilt and remorse and confusion and all of that…I just feel so, so bad. The person who I usually turn to and talk about this with is Shaoran and I can't just go to him right now about this. I'm sorry. I just needed someone to talk to that's all."

"I'm really honored that you chose me, Sakura. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll always be here to listen."

"Thanks." Sakura said as she paused. She contemplated on her next words. She had kept it all hidden for such a long time that it felt weird saying it. The last time she had actually said it was when she broke down in tears in her room when her brother confronted her months back. She decided to go and deal with what had happened. That was easier by a mile.

"It's Ryu-san…"

With that Eriol knew that she was genuinely affected with the sudden turn of events. It confirmed in him that she was indeed very sensitive when it came to others' feelings. He hadn't met any one like that before. It sure was a big revelation in a way. It's different when others were telling it to him than actually seeing it for himself.

As for Ryu, Eriol knew that it was probably the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He could only guess how Ryu was feeling at the moment. He knew that what Ryu felt was very real. He saw it in his actions and the sadness in his eyes was really hard to miss back at the skating rink. But Eriol knew that it was the best thing to happen given the circumstances. Having the truth was always better than being left in the dark. He should know. If he hadn't given Sakura the chance to get to know the real him, Hiiragizawa Eriol, then she wouldn't have trusted him the way she did and he wouldn't have found his first real friend.

"He confessed to me before I came here. And I really feel bad because I can't give him what he needs from me. I don't know but I just…I don't have the same feelings…I wish I do so that maybe he wouldn't be hurting so much right now but I just can't…I don't know why…it feels like I'm afraid to but then again…I think it's more because I'm not ready. And what makes me feel so awful is that he knows that and he did the hardest thing of admitting it and letting it go. We're friends, yes, up to now…but I really…what bugs me is that I can't shield him from the pain. I've been failing at that task for months now."

"Ok let's start sorting out how you feel. I know you're confused, you said it yourself but I think things are going to be easier to deal with if you know exactly how you feel." Eriol suggested.

This whole thing was new to him. No one has ever made him a confidant before. No one had ever trusted him that much without any hidden agenda somewhere. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing but he had to try. She came to him for help and he was determined to do just that.

"I can understand that you feel bad for hurting Ryu-san but it's not your fault, is it?" Eriol then said.

Sakura smiled a little and said, "What's funny about this whole scenario is that that was also the line Ryu-san told me…that it's not my fault and that it just had to happen, that's all."

"Ok. So that we are on the same page, I'm saying for the record that I know you are very sensitive when it comes to other people's feelings but don't you think that it is going to make him feel worse if he saw that you are blaming yourself for what had happened? He did say that it isn't your fault. He's even has a point that this just had to happen. No one asked you or him for things to turn out the way they did." Eriol pointed out. It made Sakura think. Eriol did have a point and that was exactly what Ryu had said, well almost exactly the same thing.

"If you are not ready for that sort of thing as you say, then it's ok. If you are afraid, that's ok too. But it's not like you to let fear get in the way. But are you sure that that is what you really feel or is it because you are already in love with someone else?" He then proceeded on to say.

Sakura was surprised with Eriol's statement. In love with someone else? She hadn't even thought of that. So much had been happening lately that she hadn't exactly taken the time to sort out how she really felt.

"In love with someone else? Hate to burst your bubble, Eriol, but I don't think so."

Eriol smirked and said, "Really? From where I'm standing it's really not that hard to see."

"Come on. Like I had the time to actually fall in love. For the past months I've been pouring my energy into a lot of things, mostly in trying not to get myself into too much trouble, and now I ended up just there…in deep trouble where it seems a lot of people are involved. I didn't actually have the luxury of time to come into terms with romantic feelings."

"I just have one word for you." Eriol then said.

Sakura looked at him and asked, "Which is?"

Eriol grinned and looked at her straight in the eyes "Denial."

She shook her head. Denial. Right. "I told you I am confused where exactly does denial come into play?"

"Because you are stubborn, you choose not to see what is already in front of your face. That, my dear, is called denial, which leads us to your confusion. Think about it. You wouldn't be confused about your feelings if you didn't have any feelings to speak of. If you aren't in love, you wouldn't actually be asking yourself if you are in love or not. Just 'fes up already, Sakura. It's just the two of us here. No one is really listening but me. I might be able to help you out."

XxXxXx

It was almost eight, Ryu was waiting at Central. He wasn't sure if Shaoran was actually going to show. He took the chance and waited. He really needed to get to talk to him. Things had been a little rocky in their friendship since the whole station incident. A lot of things were going through his mind at the moment. He couldn't get the picture of Sakura crying the night before out of his mind. He had made her cry. The worst part about it was that he knew the real reason for her tears. It was the right thing to do though as much as what he was doing now was the right thing too.

"Hey." He then heard Shaoran say when he arrived and stood in front of Ryu.

Ryu straightened out and replied, "Hey. I didn't think you'd show."

"Yeah. At first I wasn't going to but then I thought that it sounded a little urgent. What's up?" Shaoran asked, his face not betraying any emotion.

"Come. Follow me." Ryu said as he started to lead the way. Shaoran didn't exactly know what Ryu had inside his head but he followed anyway. They walked in silence. When Shaoran realized where they were heading, he suddenly stopped walking. Ryu noticed so he turned to him.

"I thought you wanted to talk." Shaoran said.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk. But you're not stupid as to not know what I want to talk to you about. Come on. I know you want to see her. She's busy with practice until her competition. So come on." Ryu said. Shaoran said nothing as he followed him inside.

They sat at the bleachers, much like the same distance last time Shaoran was there with Tomoyo. They could see Sakura practice. Eriol was there too and surprisingly her coach wasn't there. She had probably given Sakura a day off but Sakura being Sakura chose to practice anyway. They watched her in silence for a while.

They heard Eriol shout, "You're doing great. It's just like the practice we had last night, only this time it's on ice. You can do this jump, Sakura! Do it for Shaoran!" Both men watching from the bleachers were stunned.

Sakura tried the jump but then slipped and fell near the edge. She sat on the ice for awhile, trying to pass the pain. "Eriol! It's not helping! For the record, that fall was one of the worst I've had. It hurts like crazy you know." Sakura answered back.

Eriol started laughing. Sakura tried to use the edge as leverage to get herself up. "How about Ryu-san then?" Eriol then said, teasing Sakura. She slipped and fell on her knee.

"Hey! Quit with the name calling, Eriol! It's not helping big time! I think I'd want to get to the competition in one piece if you don't mind." Sakura answered back as she tried to get up again. Eriol started laughing again. Shaoran and Ryu wanted to laugh hard too. That was classic. Sakura started to skate again and prepared herself for the jump.

She was about to jump when Eriol said, "How about your brother? Yukito-san?" Sakura fell short on that jump too as she landed on her bottom again.

"Are you trying to make me fall or what?" Sakura said.

Eriol grinned and said, "Hey! It's not the name calling that's your problem. You can do this routine. You can do it on dry land, why can't you do it on the ice? You know this. Just have fun with it. Zone everything out and just concentrate while having fun."

"Right, like that is easy to do. I think my nerves are getting to me." Sakura said as she stood up.

"Sure looks like it. But this is just the same as when you do cheer leading. It's not so different. I know it's scary especially if it's your first time flying solo but it's never going to be easy if you don't have fun. Trust me on this one." Eriol answered.

Sakura smiled and replied, "Alright. I'll give it a try again. Thanks, Eriol."

From the distance, Shaoran smirked. It wasn't like Sakura stayed down when she fell. He knew that. Ryu noticed. He decided it was time that they talked. Ryu then started, "If you let her go this time, I promise you I won't return her to you anymore."

Shaoran was stunned with Ryu's sudden statement. Just like that he knew where he stood and what this whole thing was about. He looked at Ryu. Ryu smirked at him. "I don't need to tell you how special she is. You already know that so don't screw up this chance, Shaoran. You know what she's been through and you are the only one who can make it all better. I can never take your place in her heart."

"Why are you doing this?" Shaoran couldn't help but ask. It was so sudden. One minute, Ryu was so adamant in protecting Sakura from him and then the next thing he knew, Ryu was surrendering.

Ryu grinned and looked at the girl dancing on the ice. He then said, "Because she needs you as much as you need her. I thought I can shield her from pain but I realized that I can't exactly do that. You experience the most hurt from the person you love the most. I've seen her strength but she still needs you, Shaoran, not me."

He then glanced at Shaoran a little and said, "But like I said, if you screw up this chance again, I will never return her to you. Got it?"

Shaoran smirked.

(to be continued…)

6 chapters to go. The end is very near. Thanks for reading and reviewing this far. I hope that you continue to support this fic up to the very end. Thanks.

Michiko