Edward at the Office Excerpt – takes place when Bella goes to make copies as Lauren is on her lunch break

Edward Cullen

"Lauren," I said, attempting to be charming. "Isn't your lunch break over?" Alright, it wasn't exactly subtle. Lauren most likely wouldn't be mad at me and even if she was, I wouldn't care. I'd probably actually prefer it so she would stay the hell away from me.

Lauren untangled her nasty hands away from me reluctantly, before stomping out the door (but not without bumping into Bella purposefully, which made me glower at Lauren's retreating figure.) It was quiet for a few moments as I moved away from the copy machine so Bella could do her job… or, er, Lauren's job.

I watched Bella make copies in intrigue – the way her brow crinkled slightly as she looked for the right button, the way she licked her delicious lips, the way she bent over to make sure the copy machine was plugged in…

I decided to break the silence, despite the fact that I was perfectly content in just watching her.

"Are you sure you're not jealous?" I said into her gorgeously thick hair. My hands were aching to lie on her perfect stomach and pull her close to me. The longing for her to actually be jealous was almost unbearably painful. I was killing myself slowly by my need for this angel.

Such a fucking masochist. What a desirable trait.

Not.

She whirled quickly to face me, and I could see the furious blush on her face.

She was so beautiful.

Our chests were touching. I felt my hands twitch with the desire to just crush her body to mine. I fought with the almost overwhelming urges and won, but just barely. Part of me just told me to do it – but that was the more daring side. I chose to side with my logical, horrified by rejection side.

What if Bella would laugh and scowl and completely humiliate me by not returning her affections? I could practically see the scorn on her face when I told her how desperately in love with her I was.

My brain could picture the horrible scene. Bella would say: "You freaking idiot, how the hell did you ever get it into your puny mind that I could ever love someone like you?" And then she would skip off into the sunset with Mike Newton.

Mike Newton was probably the only thing worst than rejection from Bella.

The silly, beautiful girl's voice cut into my thoughts like a knife (which, she probably wanted to throw at me.) "I'm positive," she replied heatedly. Steam was practically rolling off of her in waves. Holy hell, she was angry. Be careful, Edward, my mind warned. My human instinct was practically blaring out warning signs, but my mouth seemed to be detached from my brain.

"It's okay to admit you like me," I told her nonchalantly. It really amazed me how calm I seemed while my brain was raging war on my obviously loose tongue. Stop being a dill hole! My brain was shouting.

Truth be told, it would be okay to admit that. Really okay. In fact, it would be fantastic if she admitted she even liked me with the tiniest ounce of her being.

"You are so infuriating," Bella hissed.

My detached mouth continued on stupidly, "I mean, lots and lots – and I mean lots – find me irresistibly attractive. It's only natural you feel the same –" Nice fucking going Cullen! That was so high school, telling a girl you're into how hot you are. Esme would be so ashamed. I was sounding like the most arrogant prick in the world… which is saying something, since I've met Mike Newton and have heard his belief that he's "God's gifts to bitches" (his words, not mine) in the form of a mail man – his favorite pick up line is "I know how to deliver," followed by a couple of winks here and there.

I had agreed with him at the time, telling him that the technical term for bitches was a female dog, and that any mutt would probably consider giving him a lick or two. He's hated me ever since.

By now, Bella was trembling in unconcealed rage. I wondered what were the statistics of her thinking I was teasing – which I kind of was, because I sure as hell wasn't serious.

Bella was now speaking in an extremely quiet voice. Truthfully, it scared me shitless. "I do not find you irresistibly attractive." Well, I'm screwed if she doesn't like my looks, because I know it's impossible for her to like my personality by the way I had been treating her. "I think you're a cocky, conceited asshole–"

"Bella –" I tried. I didn't want her to insult me repeatedly, letting me know how vile she thought I was and how (though indirectly) I would never stand a chance with her. I didn't want to hear it, because it hurt too fucking much.

You deserve it, my brain whispered tauntingly. It's your own fault for being the worst asshole dickhead in the world. I agreed miserably. I screwed so much up.

"– that has his head stuck up his ass," – she sure knew how to paint a picture, that Bella, I thought both sadly and fondly – "and is too busy to notice not everything revolves around him –"

No, Bella, I corrected mentally, everything to me revolves around you.

Note: Edward at the Office will be posted soon, hopefully by the end of June or beginning of July 2010. Be watching for it, and let me know what you thing of this small little tidbit! (: Also, don't forget to answer the question from Chapter 2! If you're too lazy to look back and look at what it was – like I would be :P – the question was what was your favorite quote from At the Office? …But if you were too lazy to look at the question, then you might be too lazy to go look for your favorite quote… Huh…

Disclaimer for Excerpt: Don't own characters, just the words.