I opened my eyes at the sound of rain pounding against the glass of my window, I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes, they stung. I had had an uneasy nights sleep, partly from the pain but mainly because I was alone. My bed felt so empty, it broke my heart to know that Alice was in her room probably still pissed at me for last night, and I don't blame her for being mad, I was such an idiot. And I deserved anything and everything she was going to say to me today, I slowly got out of bed, I winced at the pain that went through my upper body.
I walked over to my closet to get some clean clothes out, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror, I was covered in bruises, my chest and stomach was completely black and blue, my cuts looked infected as they were red and angry, my eye was a nice shade of purple and my lip was slightly swollen but the swelling had gone down during the night. And my cheek was a dark purple shade. I had a small cut just above my eyebrow and a small one under my eye.
I put on a pair or grey jeans and a loose black long sleeved shirt, I slowly buttoned up my shirt. I looked at my knuckles, one hand was cut to shreds and the other badly bruised, I sighed heavily and just went through the pain that rose in my chest. My back felt stiff and uncomfortable as I did up my shoes, once I was fully dressed I left my room and walked down the hall to Alice's room, ready to face the music.
I stood outside her door, I took a deep breath and lifted my hand ready to knock on the door. As soon as my fist moved towards the door to knock, the door opened, and there stood Alice. From the looks of it, I had made her jump.
"Jazz" Alice breathed, I must have looked like an idiot standing in front of her with a gormless expression on my face and my fist still in the air. I soon managed to move myself and pull my arm down, I put my hand in my pocket and winced slightly as the fabric of my jeans rubbed against the raw skin of my knuckles.
"You ok?" she asked me, I just nodded.
"How are you?" I asked her, my expression turning to a soft concern. Alice just stood to the side and let me in, closing the door behind me.
"I'm ok. You look in pain." she muttered.
"Yeah, but I'll live. I take it your still pissed at me then for last night." I said as I walked around her room slowly until I reached the window, I rested my head against the cold glass and closed my eyes. I suddenly felt Alice place her hand on my shoulder, I opened my eyes and slowly turned to face her. I looked down at her to see her bright eyes shining up at me, there was no smile on her face, and that saddened me.
"Jazz, I forgive you for last night." she whispered to me, I pushed her away from me gently.
"Well you shouldn't. What I did was a stupid, idiotic and a dumbass thing to do. I deserve every single one of these bruises and cuts, I was the one to go and run off to have them inflicted on me, so why should I not suffer for them as well." I muttered with my back faced to her.
"Jazz…" Alice begun but I cut her off.
"No Alice, I deserve all the pain I'm in. After all, I am the reason for why this is all happening to us, to you. I'm putting others through pain when it should be me, and only me having to bear the scars. I'm who he wants, but because of me he now wants you, and its my fault. It's my fault, and I'm making you pay for my fucking mistakes." I sat down on the end of her bed and put my head in my hands, I was winding myself up, my breathing was heavy and uneven. I dug my nails into the skin on my face, reopening the cuts on my face. I was in pain, but for some reason I wanted to feel the pain more, I let myself take long deep breaths so that my chest would burn and my stomach would clench to the point it was agony. I wanted to put myself through as much pain as I could so that I could teach myself a lesson.
"Jazz, stop." Alice said softly to me as she sat next to me, she must have noticed the small drops of blood start to run down my face as she tried to prize my hands away from my face. I stood up frantically, my arms by my side and my fists balled tightly, I started pacing around her room. Alice watched me, wondering what I was going to do probably.
"I'm the one who started all of this Alice, so I'm going to finish it, I'm going to kill that mother fucker if it's the last thing I do. I hate him, Alice, I hate him, I hate him!" and I crashed my fist into the brick wall with all the strength I had, there was a soft crunching sound, the skin around my knuckles was stretched tightly and I could feel the skin begin to reopen from the tension, the warm thick blood began to rise from the cuts.
"Jazz, please stop." Alice almost yelled as she ran over to me and grabbed my arm, I could see her looking up into my eyes, I reluctantly looked down at her. My eyes softening once I saw how scared she was.
I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't know what to say. Alice guided me over to the chair near the window and then left the room, I watched the door for a while until she re-entered the room. She had a small box with her, it looked like a first aid kit. Alice placed the box on the floor and opened it, she was knelt down in front of me as she picked out a few items from the kit. She slowly started to wipe the cuts on my hands, I watched as she carefully cleaned me up and then wrapping my knuckles in bandages. She then stood up and cleaned up the two cuts on my face, she then placed a plaster on the cut just above my eyebrow and she gently placed a kiss against the bruised skin around my cheek.
"Look at me, none of this is your fault, ok. You can not help the fact that your step dad is a psycho and it is not your responsibility in any way to keep everyone safe and finish all of this shit out on your own. And even if it was, you would never be on your own, because you will always have me by your side. No matter what." Alice's soft voice and her words brought me out of the state I had just gotten myself into, and from that moment I knew that she had forgiven me, but yet I didn't know why.
"Alice, you said that you've forgiven me, but you never told me why. After what I did, and after what you said, which was true, why would you forgive me?" I asked her, she looked at me like I was stupid for a brief second, then smiled softly and shook her head.
"Because I love you, and nothing will ever change that, nothing could ever make me stop loving you the way I do. It was just one promise." she whispered to me softly.
"But it was an important promise, to you." I whispered.
"Would you stop loving me if I had broken a promise?" she asked me.
I shook my head quickly, "Never." I said sitting forward, leaving little room between the two of us, we looked at each other.
I gently took her hand in mine and leaned up and pressed my lips against hers softly. Our kiss was short and soft, but deeply meaningful.
"Why don't you get into bed and rest." Alice suggested.
"We have school, I'm not having a day off just because of a few bruises." I said standing up, Alice looked at me.
"But…"
"No but" I said cutting her off, "I can walk and breathe, I'm perfectly capable of going to school, its not like I'm going to be doing anything dangerous." she looked at me, and I could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn't going to argue, I can tell she wanted to just for the sake of my health, but she knew she couldn't keep me here.
"Come on then." she said and took my hand again and we made our way downstairs to join the others.
We walked down the stairs and everyone was already set to leave for school, they all watched us enter the living room, Carlisle gave me a strange look.
"Jasper, are you planning on going to school?" Emmett asked me raising his eyebrow at me.
"Yes, I am, why?" I answered giving him a questioning look in return.
"Are you sure you feel up to that?" Carlisle asked me, I just looked at him before I answered him.
"Well I'm up, and I'm still breathing so I guess I am." I told him, Carlisle just looked at me and then nodded. I looked down at Alice.
"Are you ready?" she asked me, I just smiled and nodded to her, Alice smiled back at me softly and got her car keys out, and I followed her towards the front door. As we got into her car, I winced and hissed at the pain in my chest as I sat down and put my seat belt on.
"You ok?" Alice asked me with a concerned look in her eyes, I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, giving her a reassuring smile. We sat in silence for the rest of the journey to school, and as we pulled up into the car park I noticed all the posters and the banners for the dance that was tomorrow night. We got out the car, I waited for Alice to lock up and then I took her hand and we walked to go and catch up with everyone else as they rolled into the car park a few minuets after us.
"Are you still up for the dance tomorrow night?" Alice asked me.
"Of course I am." I said as I brought her hand up to my lips, I placed a soft kiss to the back of her hand and smiled down at her, Alice just smiled lovingly up at me.
"Are you alright Jasper?" Rosalie asked me as we walked up to her, Emmett, Edward and Bella.
"Yeah why?" I replied.
"Well for a start you've got cuts and bruises on your face, and your limping slightly." she told me, she looked concerned as did Bella.
"Oh yeah, I had a slight run in with my step dad, but I'm ok just a few bumps and bruises." I said smiling softly at them, they looked shocked at how calm I acted about it and that I was actually here at school rather than being back home feeling sorry for myself.
Before any more questions could be asked the bell rang, we said our goodbyes until the next time we would see each other, and I gave Alice a quick loving kiss before me and Emmett headed off to home room. On our way I kept seeing Emmett' eyes glance down at me, as if he kept checking to see if I was ok, which I was. Once we got to home room we took our seats and just waited for the day to begin.