[[I AM SO SORRY! Summer took a twist for the busier, seriously, once I got home from NY I had to fly right back off to NC for orientation, when I got back it was a never ending marathon of family visits! I loved it, but then I check my email and felt SO GUILTY! I AM SO SORRY!

Thanks to Sorrows-Litany, Nessie (), cha-chris, cullenisabella, sasha123, sujari6, shea1223 for reviewing and/or adding to favorite stories/story alert/

Special thanks to!:

Sorrows-Litany: Thank you for reading, sorry my update is delayed!

Nessie (): I'm very happy that you're liking it! Enjoy~

cullenisabella: Thank you so much for the review! It made me smile when I read it- Edward doesn't have it very easy in this story, lol. Thank you for all the encouragement with this story, and I'll never doubt that you're reading it when I update!

sujari6: Excellent question, yes, that was Bella that he saw with Alice on the beach. I'm glad you're enjoying the story thus far!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any part of Twilight or the characters that thrive within the story.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR READING!

Month Four.

Blank.

The medication worked wonders. I feel absolutely nothing. I care about nothing. I can sense nothing. My surroundings are nothing. My ears hear nothing. My eyes decipher nothing. My weight is ignorant of gravity, I'm floating. I'm nothing. I'm just here. In my world of nothingness. It's a dark place. Filled with nothing. I just wait. Watching nothing continue around me. Carlisle is here again. But I feel nothing. I'm compelled to do nothing. Say nothing. I'm empty. I. Am. Me. But. Gone...

Month Five.

Blank.

The nothingness that surrounds me, is still present. I feel like a drone in the background, just observing everything. But nothing at the same time. I can't describe, it's truly...nothingness. How does one describe what I am now. It's worse than the shell, it's like I'm trapped in the shell. I can't get out. I'm just stuck, and I can't save myself. This medication was supposed to get me OUT of catatonic states, wasn't it? What do you call this, then. What am I in? Why is this just immensely overwhelming, but I'm calm? It's too much to take. But, it's not enough to feed me. I want to move, but I can't. I'm still nothing. I'm trapped in the shell of nothingness, surrounded by nothing, doing nothing, feeling nothing, existing as if I were nothing. Alone in my nothingness world, I can't even acknowledge Carlisle this time for his visit, though I want to. But I am in my world of nothingness.

Month Six.

Blank.

"Take a goddamn look at him! It's been two and a half months on those pills and he's worse than before! What exactly did you give him? I want him off those pills, now!" Someone yelled, but I was to taken in my nothingness to acknowledge the fact that while on these pills, I like the feeling of nothing. There's something I should remember, but I don't.

"Mr. Cullen, please calm down. We can't just take him off the pills cold turkey, he still needs time to adjust to the shock of the intensity of the medication. If we lower the dosage or take him off the pills, he will be in extreme pain. The pills take five months to work. Three visits from now, he will be done with the process." I wanted to yell, scream, fight, but I couldn't. The numbness and nothingness was too tempting for it's own good, I simply stayed where I felt safe. Far away from everything. In my own little world of nothingness.

Month Seven.

Blank...?

I don't know what's going on. My nothingness seems to be slipping away from me every other minute. If I let myself relax into it, I feel like another miniscule piece is torn from my body. My own little world, slipping away. Why? Why does it have to go? I like it better, not feeling anything.

"Mr. Cullen, he's right on schedule, he's becoming more responsive, in the slightest ways."

"How do you figure?" Pretty sure that's Carlisle.

"Remember months 4 and five? How if we were in the room, addressing him, talking about him, yelling, fighting, anything, he'd be still as stone?"

"Yes."

"Last month I noticed the slightest difference. Whilst we were addressing the side effects of the medication, he would tilt his head in such a fashion as if trying to pay more attention. Or as if he had something he wanted to say, but couldn't."

"So, are you telling me that he can actually hear me now?"

"Well, we don't know for sure unless we try, Mr. Cullen." Suddenly there was something in front of me. I couldn't make it out. I personally didn't want to see what was going on. I didn't need to. I was too busy chasing my nothingness that was slipping away.

"Edward? Can you hear me?" Carlisle, I assumed, said to me. I really wanted to let him know that I could hear him. I wanted so badly to apologize, over and over, again. I wanted to. But my body rejected the idea of moving. I tried to move until I felt like I would get bruises from my efforts against the brick wall that had been set up. "I thought you said he could hear me?" Carlisle turned away, I could tell by the vibrations of his voice, no longer aiming at me.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, I'm certain that he can hear you. I believe his mind his not letting his body respond until it can figure out what's wrong with itself first. I would like to attempt something; Edward, would you please open or try to open your eyes if you can hear me?" Were my eyes closed? Is that what helped hold the nothingness in? Should I open my eyes? Well, I do need to let them know that I can hear them. It couldn't hurt that much to open my eyes.

As I tried to open my eyes, it took as much force as trying to move, anything. I focused all I had onto my eyelids, desperate to move anything. It was an unbelievable pain, I am here, but I don't want to be, but I have to be, so I need to be, but I still don't want to be.

"What does this mean? He's not moved. Still as stone. Distant as Atlantis. Broken like a record. What did you do to him?" I could feel the intensity in the room. Carlisle shouldn't be upset, he deserves better than a nephew that's always giving him grief. I may not want to open my eyes, or even want to, but if it's important to Carlisle, than I have to do it.

I strained again, to open my eyes. Refusing to take no for an answer. I could do this. I must do this. I just need to think of my family. Carlisle, he was, and still is, so young to have taken in two teenagers. So loving towards his brother, I don't know how he could take us and still have his spare time for Esme.

Esme, god, she's so sweet. She's so fun, and goes for joking around. When the time comes, she would make an excellent mother. Hell, she's probably already an excellent mother towards Alice.

Alice. The person whom I avoided thinking about for months. Whenever my mind wondered towards her, it recoiled instantly. She's got to hate me by now. I completely destroyed her teenage life with my antics. It's not a self pity-party. I knew this would happen if I broke again, and yet I broke anyways. There is no one at fault but me, well, Logan didn't exactly help in any way. Ass. But, Alice, she needs me. She may not know it, but she does.

"-him stop! Edward, stop! Make him stop!"

"Mr. Cullen, I'm afraid he will not stop, it appears to be a personal mission of his to achieve something. Take great strides towards acceptance and recovery." What? This doctor is seriously messed up. Wow.

Every single atom of my body was strained to opening my eyes, but as much pain as all of it was, I still felt this odd sensation in my throat. It felt like vibrations, but they weren't smooth, they were rough and sharp.

"Shit, Edward, please, if you can hear me, please, stop trying. Please don't do this, I believe you can hear me. I know you can. You don't have to open your eyes now, please, don't set your self back." 'It's too late to go back now. What's done is done. I've committed what I have, and there's no shame in turning back to wish to alter what I consider a greatest fault of mine.' "What? What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he speaking like that?"

"Mr. Cullen, please contain yourself, that is strictly the medication speaking. I do not believe he is aware of the fact that he is speaking." What the hell? Is this guy in my head or something? No, focus on opening the eyes.

"Doctor, I sided with you on the medication in the beginning, when I should have so clearly, listened to Edward and my instinct. All you have done is make him worse! What type of scam are you running here?" Come on, eyes, fucking open. I know there is light, I can see it, well, sense it.

"Mr. Cullen, I would request you not to speak to me in such a fashion, especially in front of MY patient." I could feel one of my eyes open, ever so slightly. I knew that my pupils must have dilated instantly. Why was the room so bright? That's just cruel, did they stop to think how bright it would look to me if I did open my eyes today? No. Stop, you self centered bastard.

"Fuck you! I'll talk how I wish in front of MY nephew! Jackass." I opened my other eye, the same amount, it was equally as bright, if not more.

"Mr. Cullen, if you cannot contain yourself, I will have to call security and ban you from visiting in the future. Don't make me do that." Everything was bright and blurry. I felt like I was looking through my camera lens again… Almost two years without my cameras, shit.

"Fine. I wont insult you in front of Edward anymore. But if I run into you outside this nuthouse, I will make my feelings very clear to you." Still incapable of making any figures out, my eyes darter towards the voice, Carlisle, at the mention of my name. "Edward? Can you hear me?" No, that's why I opened my eyes. I slowly kept opening my eyes more, still blurry, but the brightness had decreased. "Edward? Can you talk?" I knew it would be pointless to try, so I just shook my head.

Carlisle kept asking me questions, over and over again, but I just sat there. Not moving. Why bother? The nothingness feeling is completely gone, all I feel now is pure pain. I just shut my eyes and went into a darkened state, away from the bright lights. I just ignored everyone and everything until I get out of here. What's the point of paying attention?

[[Yay? Nay? Boring as all hell and I just suck in general?

ATTENTION!: Would anyone appose to Carlisle being a cop instead of a doctor? In my original version of this story with my own creation of characters, Carlisle's role was a cop. If anyone is STRONGLY opposed to CARLISLE being a COP, PLEASE tell me and I'll make some tweaks. BUT YOU MUST TELL ME OR IT WILL NOT CHANGE!

I apologize if there is a stray name that doesn't fit anywhere, just let me know and I'll fix it!]]

:~Keggers~:

P.S. I leave for college August 18 [3am to be precise... it's a 10 hour drive...] and it's going to be my first year [cheers to being a freshman again, huh?] so I cannot stress ENOUGH that updates will be slower! Kind of like this one being a month apart, I have NO IDEA how much free time I'll have, but I'm willing to bet not much. :[