A/N - I cannot apologize enough for the time it's taken me to have this chapter posted. I'm still on an indefinite hiatus due to being in school I hope to have the rest of SToF posted by the 1st of the new year. This is completely un-beta'd and probably won't be beta'd for a while due to time constraints. If you're still holding on and reading this story, I thank you so much.
"Where do we go?
I don't want to wake up.
Spinning in slow motion
As we fall apart."
-Restraining Order Blues by Spitalfield
Alice Brandon was one of the most interesting and entertaining people I had ever met. She was everything I envied in other women: adventurous, daring, outgoing, fun. In reality she was the female Jasper.
The entire drive to her hotel was spent talking about everything from cars to favorite books. We clicked instantly. When we arrived at the hotel, she dropped her bags off and checked in. Then she turned to me and smiled a big toothy grin.
"I want to see that exhibit so far," She said excitedly.
"Of course, but remember it's still under construction," I replied ready to oblige to her request. "Oh, and let me just call my boss to make sure it's ok."
She nodded and I dug through my purse for my phone. Edward's number was already on my speed dial, so with in no time I was talking with him.
"Hello, Bella," Edward's velvet voice purred from the other end.
"Hi, I have Ms. Brandon with me and she would like to come see the gallery. Would that be alright?" I asked cautiously. I wasn't sure if he wanted her to see it now or leave it a surprise, I was still so naive about how the exhibit inner workings went.
"Of course, bring her on over," His every word wrapped around my brain in a warm comforting sound, instantly relaxing me. The click on the other end left me wanting more of him, as always.
With approval from Edward, we went on our merry way talking like sisters the entire way to the gallery.
"So Bella, any boyfriends?" Alice inquired as we approached the familiar grey brick front of the gallery.
"Uh," I hesitated.
Yes Bella, you have a boyfriend.
"Yes, Jasper," I finally replied. "We've been dating for, wow, six years now."
"And he hasn't proposed yet?" She asked.
"No, we're still both too young for marriage." I said smoothly. Truth was, I really didn't know why Jasper and I weren't engaged yet. We'd both talked about it before, but as of recent times I didn't think of it much. That familiar guilt I hadn't felt in so long settled back into the pit of my stomach.
"Yeah I don't really date much," Alice said penetrating my train of thought.
"Really? You hang out with buff models all day long though, right?" I pulled the car into an empty parking spot outside the gallery as I spoke.
She just shook her head and chuckled at my statement and got out of the car.
"Oh silly, Bella. Models are for kids." She winked at me and we started into the gallery.
I studied her every move. She walked with the ease of a ballerina, but with the confidence and strength of someone much more powerful. Like a gazelle she dashed across the street. Alice Brandon was truly a unique woman. As we entered I instantly felt Edward's presence, stronger than ever. It had been two entire days since I'd seen him. The time felt like an eternity, but as soon as he was in the atmosphere my every nerve and thought dissipated.
"Hello Miss Brandon," Edward greeted the graceful creature to my left with a cliche cheek kiss, like you'd see in Hollywood.
"Mr. Cullen, please call me Alice," she replied, never taking her eyes off her surroundings, sizing up the gallery.
"I take it you want to see where we'll be showing your work?" Alice nodded giddily and Edward began leading the way to the exhibit, which was nearly finished.
The black marble tile beneath our feet transitioned to the industrial concrete. The beautiful, modern paneling was now plain white paint with large prints of high fashion shots scattered strategically around the room. Each piece you walked by told a different story that screamed "modern" and "edgy." Every model skinnier than the last, with expensive fabric flowing from their bodies. Just looking at it made you feel insecure and feel the want - no - the need to own what she was wearing.
I guess that's why all the designers hired Alice Brandon to begin with. She was able to capture something in every photograph that you envied. Whether it was the way a particular color made a model's eyes pop or the way the dress was draped in such a way that gave the appearance of curves on the thin girls. You wanted what they were wearing and you would pay however much they were asking to achieve that level of perfection.
Business matters were discussed between Edward and Alice, while I listened and took notes. An hour later I was ready to take Alice back to her hotel. We started walking towards the gallery when Edward suddenty stopped us.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Would you two please join me for dinner tomorrow night? You may bring a guest if you'd like," As he said the last part he looked straight into my eyes, testing me, daring to see if I would bring someone else with me. "Angela, Jessica, and a few other colleagues would be there also."
"I'm sure I'll be able to make it," I told him honestly.
After dropping off Alice at her hotel I went on home, since I did have the rest of the day off. As always, Edward consumed my every thought. I walked into the apartment surprised to see Jasper watching TV on the couch. It had been a while since I'd see him right after I got home from work.
"How was your day?" He asked, never taking his eyes off CNN.
"Fine, I had to pick up that big photographer from the airport," I answered as I walked into the bedroom to change out of my professional clothes.
"Oh really? Was he nice?" Jasper raised his voice so I would be able to hear him, even though he was just in the next room of the cramped apartment.
"She was lovely. She reminded me of like a female version of you. I bet you two would really get along well." I walked back into the living room, dressed in my sweats and plopped down next to him on the couch. My thoughts began to wander to Edward just as Jasper handed me the remote control to change it to whatever I wanted. Such a simple gesture sent me on a guilt trip every time.
"Yeah? That's cool. When do I get to meet her."
"Actually, if you're free tomorrow night, my boss invited all of us to dinner. He said I could bring a guest." Absently I channel surfed, nothing good on.
"Uh, I think I can call off if you want me too." Secretly, I wanted to tell him not to call off, I would go alone, but I shrugged it off once the guilt caught up with me.
"You can if you want, dinner is at 8, with cocktails at 7, or something like that," I said.
Jasper left for work at three in the afternoon, just when I would normally be coming home. I spent the evening alone with my thoughts - which was always a dangerous thing. As of recent times my thoughts had become more and more physical towards Edward. Events playing out in my mind, vivid as if I were watching a dirty movie.
As hard as I tried to diminish the thoughts, they always somehow came crept up and haunt me. It was like I had some sort of disorder that spayed these situations, against my will, across the canvas of my mind. Situations I would normally be prudish and offended by; I soon found myself beginning to crave for the daydreams to become a reality. That was a very dangerous and foolish want.
The most vivid of dreams came that night.
There I laid on a bed with silk sheets, bare as the day I was born. Edward was coming towards me, his hand ghosted over my body, just missing the area I craved him. I cried out for him "Edward! I need you." I couldn't help myself and soon began touching myself, like when I was a teenager. His eyes bore deep inside me, watching me as I touched myself.
I woke up sweating, my hand inside my underwear, a puddle practically pooling between my legs. Jasper was home, so it was probably close to sunrise.
I realized my dreams were worse than a smutty romance novel with Fabio on the cover. Those dreams were not normal for someone who had a boyfriend. It wasn't normal to dream of another man while your significant other laid next to you.
I felt dirty, like a layer of scum was sticking to my skin. Immediately, I hopped into the shower and scrubbed with all my might.
When is this going to end?
Salty tears blended with the steamy water beating down on my skin. The flood of emotion was unbearable. There was too much; I reached a boiling point I never expected. Everything was too real. It was much more than a silly fantasy. It was something that bubble deep within my very soul. Something primal and unpredictable. I wanted Edward Cullen more than anything in this world and I came to the realization that the only thing that would ever satiate that burning desire that built up inside was his skin on my skin.