I love Jeffree Star. He ish my idol. -Smiles- Damn is he sexy. My gosh... He makes me feel sexy just by listening to his songs. So does Dahvie Vanity but only cause I wanna fuck his hair.

Make my move, make you move. Make you wanna hear me talk. See me walk. See me fuck. See me suck a lollipop. Wanna get nasty? I'll make you hot. Make you rock. I'll leave the world in shock. I'mma tease. I'm your fuel. I just wanna see you drool. On your knees.

Hehe. I lovers "Lollipop Luxury". OMG my favorite part?

Mmm hot damn. Here I come. Tell me how you want it done. At the mall. In the hall. On your momma's bedroom wall.

-Giggles- Yes, please! On my momma's bedroom wall! -Nudges Shane-

Oh, right, I'm supposed to writing aren't I? Hehe

Enjoy!

*~*Shane*~*

Kiba always believed that everything had a purpose. That everything happened for a reason. There was a reason he was alive still. There was a reason he survived. A reason he met Adrian. The boy was meant for him. He knew that and believed with his whole being but he was afraid that even Adrian didn't realize that. The boy would never realize that unless Kiba told him everything.

That Saturday when Akamaru suddenly ran off on his own was the beginning of a new life for Kiba. That was the day he met Adrian. As soon as his brown eyes landed on the pale boy feeding Akamaru, something inside him snapped. Something about Adrian got to him. Maybe it was his smile or the way he spoke. Kiba wasn't sure. But he knew there was a reason Akamaru found Adrian.

Kiba knew Adrian. Adrian knew Kiba. He just didn't remember it. It was such a long time ago that the brunette was surprised that even he remembered. He tried to forget everything before that horrid day. The day his life changed for the worse. How Kiba even recognized Adrian was beyond his imagination. But that day at the church he immediately recognized him. It had to be those intense emerald green eyes.

"Kiba." Adrian poked him. "Are you awake?"

Kiba blinked, his eyes clearing and he realized Adrian was leaning over him. "Yea." He mumbled, lifting a hand to rub his eyes.

Adrian shifted so he was sitting on the bed beside Kiba instead of lying beside him. It was night and they had gone to bed a few hours before without much being said between them. They were worn out from the full day of baking with Nana Val and as soon as their heads hit the pillow they were gone.

Kiba, however, had woken up in the middle of the night, nightmares chasing him from sleep. He didn't realize he had woken Adrian in the process. "I'm sorry."

Adrian sat Indian style, his hands clasping his ankles. "For what?"

"Waking you up."

The pale boy shook his head. "Are you okay? You scared me."

Kiba closed his eyes tightly and moved to sit up. "I'm fine... Just nightmares."

Adrian blinked, staring at him. "Oh?"

Kiba glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Yea. My past tends to haunt me."

Adrian bit his lower lip not sure whether to ask about it or not. He chose the latter. "Well..." He opened his arms. "You wanna hug?"

Kiba chuckled softly. "That'd be nice." He leaned to the side and wrapped his arms around Adrian's waist. Adrian smiled and slipped his arms around Kiba's neck, hugging him tightly. "Thanks."

"Anytime." He nuzzled his cheek against Kiba's.

"My parents were killed."

Adrian blinked in surprise. He was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out if he really heard what was just said. He gripped Kiba's shoulders and pushed him back so their eyes to meet. He searched Kiba's brown eyes for a moment. "What?"

Kiba blinked, shifting his eyes away from Adrian's to stare at the blanket bunched up in Adrian's lap. "My parents were killed."

"I heard that I just... Um..." He blinked, realizing Kiba was opening up to him. He didn't want to push but he really wanted Kiba to elaborate.

Kiba sighed, letting his hands rest on Adrian's hips to which the boy had no objection. "I was six. I was asleep in my room when I heard screaming. I ran to see what was going on and I saw..." He trailed off, closing his eyes tightly.

Adrian cupped his cheek, forcing their eyes to meet. "You can tell me Kiba..."

The brunette nodded. "Some man in black was slitting my mother's throat."

Adrian froze. He stared at Kiba with wide eyes, not sure how to react or what to say. So he settled with, "oh my god."

"My father was already dead on the floor. All I saw was blood. So I ran." Kiba's eyes became glossy as the memories flooded back to him. Adrian's hand gripped one of his own as he became lost in his own world. "It was freezing outside and I was barefoot. I ran down the sidewalk and cut my foot on something. I'm not sure what it was. I don't know where I was going. I was just running. Eventually, someone found me."

He closed his eyes, a tear escaping. "Someone told me later that it was one of my neighbors. They heard the screaming and had called the police but when I wasn't found everyone thought the man kidnapped me or something. He apparently was robbing us... But I hadn't really run far. I remember fighting her. She was just trying to calm me but I was so scared."

Adrian bit his bottom lip and thought for a moment while Kiba tried not to cry. He shifted so he was leaning back against the headboard and spread his legs. He tugged on Kiba's arm and practically had to pull the brunette to him. Kiba settled between his legs. His head on Adrian's shoulder as the boy held him tightly. Roles were reversed.

They stayed silent for a while, Adrian not expecting to hear anymore from Kiba. In truth he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear more. Yes, he wanted to know Kiba's past and he was sure it wasn't going to be pretty. But for the boy to witness his own mother's murder? That was not what he was expecting.

"They took me to this place..." Kiba continued. "Where other children had been through what I had been through. It was like an orphanage but for kids messed up in the head. I didn't belong there." Kiba's tone changed. Before he sounded heart broken; now he sounded resentful. "I wasn't insane. I wasn't violent like other kids. I wasn't reclusive either. I was just numb."

Adrian closed his eyes, listening to Kiba's voice. There really was nothing he could say. Just listen. He brought his hand up and began to gently run his fingers through Kiba's soft brown spikes. The boy relaxed at the touch and cuddled closer to him.

"I was ten when they finally let me out. I was put into foster care but it never lasted. I wasn't a bad kid. I just didn't get along with other kids. Apparently I have a temper."

Adrian smiled softly, remembering the time when Kiba met Kankuro.

"So I was pushed from home to home. After a while... I just got annoyed with it. No one wanted me. I was just a bother to everyone else. So I ran away. At thirteen. I figured I could take care of myself better than those people tried."

Adrian's eyes snapped open and he stared at the wall with wide eyes. Kiba had been homeless by choice. Things were slowly starting to make sense. Kiba didn't want to be a bother ever. Pieces were clicking together in Adrian's head.

"And I did. I'm alive." His voice lost a lot. Like he was numb once again. "I survived on my own. Alone."

Adrian swallowed hard, massaging Kiba's skull. "You're not alone anymore."

Adrian soft voice snapped Kiba out of where ever he was. He sighed and shifted to nuzzle into Adrian's neck. "No, I'm not."

The pale boy smiled and tightened his arms around Kiba. "Thank you, Kiba. For telling me."

"I'm not finished."

Adrian blinked. "There's more?"

"The most important part." Kiba shifted and pulled away from Adrian so he was sitting on his knees in front of him. Adrian tilted his head at him, confused. Kiba leaned forward and gently placed his lips against the others. Adrian blinked but returned the soft kiss. A few seconds later, Kiba pulled back.

"What is it?"

Kiba pressed his lips together, not answering Adrian's question at first. He lowered his head and ran his hand roughly through his hair. "I'm not proud of it." He hissed softly.

Adrian sat up straight, getting on his knees as well and moving closer to Kiba. "What Kiba? What aren't you proud of?"

Kiba bit into his lower lip, wincing at the pain. He wasn't sure if he could do it. Admit to Adrian what he had done. His hands fisted on his knees, nails digging into his palm. He wasn't sure if he could take rejection. Not from Adrian. Anyone but him.

"Kiba." Adrian spoke softly, moving a little closer. "What ever it is..." He placed his hand on top of Kiba's lowered head. "I won't judge you, okay? I promise."

The words didn't help Kiba all that much. Only because Adrian had no clue what the brunette wanted to tell him, thus he really had no clue what he was saying. But the warm hand on his head forced his heart to believe the boy's words.

"I was young... so finding work was really hard." Kiba's voice was barely above a whisper. "I was desperate..." He swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice steady. He should have prepared himself better for this. He really should have. "So I sold myself for money."

Adrian stared at him for a while, silent. Each second that ticked by was tearing at Kiba's heart. The thing was, Adrian didn't exactly understand. He was afraid to ask though. "Y-You... sold yourself for...?" His voice was shakier than Kiba's.

"Sex."

Adrian's hand slipped away from his head and landed in his lap. He just stared at Kiba with wide eyes. The brunette sure was telling him a lot all in one night. He had expected Kiba would have a lot to tell but for it all to be so... Adrian just wasn't prepared.

Kiba had been a whore? Adrian shook his head slightly at the thought. No, Kiba did what he had to do. He tried to swallow down the lump in his throat and he noticed Kiba shaking slightly. His hand reached for him but just couldn't touch him. Adrian cursed himself. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he touch him?

The silence was enough for Kiba. He noticed Adrian's hand frozen in mid air. He couldn't touch him. So he had been wrong. Adrian wasn't different. He was just like everyone else who turned him away. He moved and slipped off the bed, unable to just sit there any longer. He didn't even look at Adrian when he slipped out of the room and left. He didn't hear anything behind him as he made his way downstairs. His heart was clenching tightly in his chest but he did his best to ignore it. He grabbed his coat from the rack by the door and slipped on his shoes. He just couldn't handle rejection right now. Especially with Adrian so near to him.

The front door closed behind him softly and he made his way down the stairs. His feet clenched in the snow as he started to walk. He needed to walk it off. The pain and the anger of rejection. Adrian didn't stop him when he tried to leave. He didn't even say a word. That was enough for Kiba.

He had reached a bus stop when his body finally gave out on him. He hadn't been walking far or for that long but his heart had control of him at the moment. He collapsed on the bus bench, shivering at the cold. He was still only in his boxers. He clutched the coat around him, the same coat Adrian had given him.

He hung his head, letting a bit of his pain escape. He should have known better. He was used to rejection. No one loved him, he knew that. Maybe no one ever would. But when he met Adrian once again... He thought it would be different. He thought the boy cared and maybe he really did. But Kiba knew no matter how much he cared; it didn't take away his past.

Kiba had met Adrian once before that Saturday at the church. It had been the day his parents were murdered. His mother had taken him to a new park so he could make friends. He wasn't having any luck in school so she thought maybe he'd make friends in a less forced social area. Kiba was a shy child so he had bad luck at making friends.

Flashback

"Mommy, why can't I just play with you?" The little six year old Kiba asked, tugging on his mother's pant leg.

"Because, sweetie, you need to make friends." She motioned to the park full of children. "Don't you want someone your own age to play with?"

Kiba pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "No."

She sighed and patted his head. "Alright then. Go play by yourself." Kiba grinned and took of running. His mother smiled softly at him before going to sit down with a few other mothers.

Kiba ran over to a big tree which was void of anyone. He grinned as he started to climb it. He loved to climb and was lucky enough to have yet to fall and break anything. He was lost in his own world when a small boy came over to him.

"Excuse me?" The boy with green eyes said, looking up at Kiba, hidden in a branch.

The brunette popped his head out, half glaring at the boy. "What?"

"This is my tree."

Kiba blinked. "I was here first."

The boy narrowed his bright green eyes at him. "I was here yesterday!"

"Adrian!" A blonde woman ran over to them. "What's going on?"

Adrian pointed up at Kiba who decided to hide behind a branch. "He's in my tree!"

She smiled softly and bent down to him. "Share Darling. Remember what you learned in Sunday school?"

The equally blonde boy pouted. "But momma!"

"Adrian." Her voice had a warning tone to it. "You need to make friends anyway. So share." She gave one good look before walking away.

Adrian huffed and stared up at Kiba. "Get down here."

Kiba shook his head. "You come up here."

His green eyes flashed and he started to climb the tree. He was quickly on the same branch as Kiba. He sat down on it and scooted closer to the brunette. "I've never seen you before."

"My mommy brought me here for the first time today."

"Oh..." He suddenly grinned at him. "I'm Adrian!"

Kiba eyed the boy. "I'm... Kiba."

"Kiba?" He tilted his head. "That's a cool name." He grabbed the boy's wrist and tugged him forward. "You wanna play Ninja's?"

Kiba's shyness pushed back a little and he nodded. "Okay."

The two little boys played the rest of the day together actually enjoying each other's company. When it was time to leave, they promised to play again tomorrow. Kiba and Adrian went home happy to have finally made a friend.

But there was no tomorrow for them. That night was when Kiba's parents were killed.

Somehow, Kiba remembered that day with Adrian very vividly. So when he saw that boy once again with his dog, he immediately knew who he was. That was why he spoke to him in the first place. He realized though that Adrian didn't remember him. It didn't surprise him. It had been a long time ago.

Kiba buried his head in his hands, the crisp cold air getting to his body. He was freezing. But he couldn't go back to that house. Not yet. Not till he had control over himself. He knew he could break down at any moment. The pain in his chest was proof of something he hadn't realized until that moment.

He was in love with Adrian.

So far in love with him that he pushed every boundary he set for himself. He broke every rule and let himself be free. And what happened in the end? What he knew would happen. Why he set those rules and boundaries to begin with. No one could accept him the way he was. No one.

"Kiba!"

His head snapped up at the shout. Confused, he looked around and about fell off the bench when he saw Adrian running at him. The boy was bare foot and wearing only a hoodie that he must had thrown on before running out of the house.

Kiba shakily got to his feet, his body just moving on its own. Adrian's pace picked up when he realized it was indeed Kiba at the bench. He didn't stop till he crashed into the brunette. Kiba, not expecting it, fell backward onto the bench, nearly falling off. His arms went around Adrian due to instinct so the boy didn't fall off him and onto the hard sidewalk.

"Kiba..." Adrian held onto him tightly, not willing to let go. "You scared the hell out of me!" He quickly got off him, standing in the snow with bare feet. "Why did you run away?!"

Kiba blinked at him, sitting up. He opened his mouth to speak but was stopped when Adrian held his hand out to him. Kiba snapped his mouth shut. Adrian was upset and he knew better than to make it worse.

"No. Don't say anything. It's my turn to speak." The boy was mad. That was obvious. He was panting, his breath coming out in white puffs. "Don't you ever run off like that again! You scared the shit out of me! I wasn't rejecting you! I was in shock, okay? I think I deserve that much! I mean, come on Kiba! After everything you told me you add that on too? Of course I was going to freak." He had started to pace in his rant. "I didn't know what to do! First you tell me about your parents, and then about your life after that! You were so alone Kiba! But you're not anymore!" He spun to face the brunette. "How could you think I would reject you?! I don't care about what you've done in your past. What matters is right now. Us! We matter! What we do and what we want! I..." He bit his lip, his fists clenching at his sides. "I'm falling in love with you!"

Kiba's breath hitched and he stared at the panting, angry boy in front of him. They were quiet for a while. The only sound the soft wind and Adrian's panting.

Then Kiba stood and stepped toward Adrian. Still on his adrenaline rush, Adrian stood his ground and glared up at the brunette. Quickly, Kiba picked the boy up in his arms and held him to his chest tightly. Adrian blinked, calming down at the warmth and slowly wrapped his arms around the brunette.

"I'm so sorry..." Kiba mumbled against his ear.

Adrian swallowed hard, his anger vanishing. "Don't be."

Kiba's arms tightened around him, almost crushing him. But Adrian didn't complain. "I love you, Adrian."

Adrian's heart exploded in his chest and his entire body flushed with warmth. He gritted his teeth and clung to the brunette boy. He closed his eyes tightly and buried his head in Kiba's shoulder. They weren't sure how long they stayed like that. But when they hear barking and Nana Val's voice they knew it had been a while.

"What in the heavens are you two doing out here?!" Nana Val yelled as she made her way toward them, Mimi and Akamaru running in front of her on leashes. Kiba Just couldn't release Adrian and it didn't seem like Adrian wanted to let go either. So they shifted to they both could look at her.

"My goodness!" She exclaimed when she reached them. "These two were having a fit!" She motioned to the two dogs jumping up at Kiba and Adrian. "You two scared me half to death! What are you doing out here?" She asked, clutching her chest.

"Sorry Nana..." Adrian mumbled. "We... It's hard to explain..."

She looked them over and raised an eyebrow at their state. "You're both half naked. Adrian! You're not even wearing shoes! Boys, let's get back to the house before you both catch pneumonia!"

Kiba nodded and lifted Adrian off his feet. The boy squeaked in surprise and was shifted so he fit perfectly in Kiba's arms, bridal style. "Ah! What are you doing?" The pale boy asked, his face flushed.

"Carrying you. You can't walk in the snow with bare feet."

"How do you think I got here?"

Kiba narrowed his eyes. "I don't want you getting sick."

"Let Kiba carry you Adrian." Nana Val said before turning and heading back toward the house. She walked ahead of them to give them privacy. She wasn't sure what happened but whatever it was. It was big.

Adrian wrapped his arms around Kiba's neck, finally allowing the boy to carry him. "This is embarrassing..."

"You're the one who didn't wear shoes."

"I was too worried about you."

Kiba winced. "I'm sorry."

"Don't. No more Sorries, okay?" Adrian placed his hand on Kiba's cheek, making the brunette look at him. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Adrian bit his lower lip and leaned forward, placing his cold chapped lips against Kiba's warm ones. Kiba sighed softly, returning the small kiss. They pulled apart shortly after and Adrian nuzzled his head into Kiba's shoulder.

Once they finally reached the house, Nana Val let Mimi and Akamaru off their leashes to run around. She shut the door behind Kiba and helped him take his shoes off without disturbing Adrian. The boy had fallen asleep against Kiba and neither wanted to wake him. She patted Kiba's cheek fondly before shooing him upstairs. The brunette was careful going up the stairs but made it to their room without any real trouble.

He carefully laid Adrian down onto the bed and tried to unhook the boy's hands from behind his neck. But he wouldn't budge. Adrian mumbled and just pulled him closer.

"Don't leave..."

Kiba froze at the soft words. He felt like such an idiot. But he didn't have the time or energy to think about it. He carefully slipped his coat off before crawling into the bed with Adrian. The boy quickly cuddled up to his side and held onto him tightly.

Kiba smiled softly at Adrian. It had been one hell of a start to Christmas morning. It was just the beginning though. Kiba hoped it would be better. Adrian was beside him. The boy knew his past and he was still beside him. That was all that mattered to Kiba. Adrian had been right.

The past didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was them. Them and the strong feelings they carried for one another. Kiba was starting to believe that they were strong enough to carry them both anywhere. So, he wasn't going any where any time soon. As long as Adrian wanted him, he was staying right where he was. Right where he belonged. In the boy's arms.

Wow... that was more angst than I planned. And longer than I thought it would be. My grandfather just passed away yesterday so I've been in an emo mood anyway. I'm updating this so soon because I'll be gone for the weekend to go to his funeral and deal with family stuff.

I hope you all enjoyed it. Sorry for making you wait with the secrets. But they're all out now. I did have something worse planned for Kiba but I changed my mind. It was just too cruel. I'll explain more on Kiba's past later. But for now, I just wanted it to end happy.

So guess what my dearies? The next part is Christmas. And what happens on Christmas? PRESENTS! Oh, and lemons. Lol. Hehe. Something I'm sure you all have been waiting for.

So, please review?

Thankies!

*~*Shane*~*

+Matt+