I still don't own Bleach.

Chapter 3: Kakumau's Test

"Well then, let's see what it can do to defend." In an instant, Ikkaku drew his own blade and launched himself at Kakumau with his blade aimed at the man's throat. At the last possible instant, Kakumau deflected the attack and jumped out through the door. Once he did, he realized his mistake. He was now in the middle of a circle of 12 shinigami, all grinning as they drew their swords.

"Come on, is there really any need for this fight? Why don't you guys go drink, and I'll be on my way? It's a win-win."

"Sorry pal, but this is the 11th division you're dealing with." He turned to see Ikkaku at the door, his katana resting on his shoulder. "Testing your strength against your opponent is reason enough to fight. Don't worry about them, though. One of the rules in the 11th division is that all fights are one on one."

"So, there's no way to avoid this then?"

"No way, it's been way too long since my last fight. I just hope you aren't a waste of my time."

Kakumau sighed and said, "I hate violence. If we really have to fight, would you mind at least telling me your rank? I'd kind of like to gauge my own strength as well."

"Gladly. I'm Ikkaku Madarame, the third seat in Zaraki Kenpachi's 11th division."

'Crap, a third seat. I'm guessing there's no reason to hold back on this one. You agree?'

'Hold back a little. Give him a good fight, but lose. If you win, they'll view you as a threat and send even more powerful shinigami after us, most likely with permission to kill.'

'Throw the fight? Damn, are you sure?'

'Yes. It's time you stopped wandering anyway. This is the best way to get you into Seireitei. Release your shikai to peak his curiosity, but make sure not to win.

'Fine. But we're having a rematch with him afterwards.' "Save them all, Kishin Hogosha!"

'How the hell does some random soul learn shikai? Oh well, this should be fun!' Then Ikkaku's eyes widened in surprise before becoming disappointed. Looking at the newly released zanpakuto, he saw that it had reduced in size from 30" to 15", and beyond that, it no longer had an edge at all. It was a steel cylinder with a large spike at the tip. The hand guard had extended up along the cylinder, forming a catch clearly intended for trapping and disarming an opponent's sword. Now Ikkaku was pissed. "You're kidding me, right? Your shikai is a jutte? How the hell am I supposed to have any fun in this fight?"

Kakumau simply shrugged, "Sorry, but it's like I said, I hate violence. But, for what it's worth," as a smile spread across his face, "I'll try to keep it from being too boring for you." With that, he charged at Ikkaku, jumping over him just before he struck, intending to get behind him and knock him out with a quick blow to the back of his head. Just as he went to deliver the knockout, however, Ikkaku drove his sheath into Kakumau's ribs and tossed him to the side.

"So far, you seem like a waste of time."

"Crap. That hurt. Guess that's what I get for thinking I'd get the drop on a third seat with a stunt like that. Oh well."

"Hn. At least you can take a hit. Let's see how well this sword of yours actually does on the defensive!" Now it was Ikkaku's turn to attack, he swung his sword at Kakumau's feet, though it was easily dodged when he leapt into the air. Ikkaku just smiled as his other hand brought his sheath around and connected with his head, sending him crashing to the ground again. In an instant, though, he was up again, shaking his head with a small smirk.

"Damn, it's been a long time since I've been thrashed like this. Most opponents I've faced are too stupid to use their sheath like that. You're good."

"Heh, thanks. You're tough, but being a good punching bag is about the best I can say for you at this point." Ikkaku went at him again, but this time, Kakumau was ready. When Ikkaku swung his blade at his chest, rather than dodging, he caught the blade in his catch and redirected the sword's point into the dirt, where it stuck. As Ikkaku swung his sheath, he was stunned to see Kakumau catch it in his hand and instantly stop its momentum. With Ikkaku's sword still in the dirt, Kakumau brought his sword, hilt first, into Ikkaku's chin, sending the third seat into the air. Ikkaku, though, managed to hold onto his own sword, and while being knocked backwards still managed swing the blade and make a decent gash in Kakumau's left bicep. Ikkaku landed on his feet before charging again. When he was only a couple steps away, he leapt into the air and swung down full force. Kakumau blocked the attack with Kishin and said, "Torubatsu!"

"Heh, is that a bluff? Nothing happened!" he said after jumping back a couple steps.

Kakumau just looked at him with a knowing grin, pointed his jutte at Ikkaku's shoulder and said, "Isshiwomukuiru." As soon as he said this, Ikkaku grimaced as he felt a blade slice down into his shoulder, stopping at the bone.

"What the hell was that?"

"That was your attack. Kishin here has a real knack for turning an opponent's strength against him. Anything I block with Kishin I can redirect at an opponent. Torubatsu literally takes your attack, and Isshiwomukuiru gives it back to you, if you will."

"Heh, not bad. Maybe you are more than just a good punching bag after all. But with no attack of your own, you don't stand a chance." Ikkaku then stood up straight and held the hilt of his sword and his sheath together and smirked. "After all, what kind of third seat can't release a shikai? Grow, Houzukimaru!"

'Damn. Guess we should have seen this coming, huh?'

'Yes, it was obvious he wasn't taking us seriously using his unreleased sword. Be careful, I don't know what it is, but something about that blade is different than it appears.'

'Alright, thanks for the heads up.' "I guess this means you decided I'm worth your time after all, eh?"

"Heh, not really. I just need to hurry this up so I can get back to the real reason I came here, sake."

With that, Ikkaku charged at Kakumau with his yari and began alternating between thrusts and slashes, driving Kakumau further and further back. 'Damn it, all I can do is block. I have to disarm him somehow. He's too good with a blade, I don't even have an opportunity to use Torubatsu at this pace.' On Ikkaku's next slash, Kakumau managed to use his catch and trap the blade. As he attempted to twist the blade out of Ikkaku's hand, he finally understood what Kishin had tried to warn him about. Ikkaku's sword became a three sectioned staff connected by chain, allowing him to easily remove his blade from the catch and simultaneously hit the shocked Kakumau in the temple with the third section. As Kakumau was blacking out, the last thing he heard was Ikkaku saying, "Take his sword and him back to Seireitei. He's probably the one the captains have been looking for, let them figure out what to do with him."

'Well old man, guess you win. Looks like I'm done wandering, eh?' Then everything went black.

When he opened his eyes again, the first thing he noticed was that, aside from a splitting headache, he seemed to be uninjured. After taking some time to examine his surroundings, he noticed that he was in a bed in a whitewashed room. Combining that with the fact that his wounds had been treated, he assumed he was in some kind of hospital. What really shocked him, though, was seeing Kishin sitting in a chair at his bedside. 'Wow, I can't believe this. They treated my injuries and let me keep my zanpakuto? I guess that rules out imprisonment.'

'Don't be too sure. They've certainly been taking care of you, but they have armed guards at the door and more watching your window.'

"Crap. Guess that means I'm stuck here."

"I hope it's not too unpleasant a situation. We do try to make stays as pleasant as possible."

Kakumau nearly leapt through the ceiling at hearing the voice come from behind him. With his heart beating a mile a minute, he turned to see who the voice came from. He began to regain his composure when he saw a woman with long black hair braided in front of her and a soft, comforting smile. While he was calmer than before, he couldn't his eyes from widening a little when he realized she was in the same shinigami uniform as Ikkaku, complete with a zanpakuto. The only difference in clothing being a white coat she wore over her uniform which, if Kakumau remembered correctly, meant she was a captain.

"I am Retsu Unohana, and I am the captain of the fourth division. And you are?"

"My apologies, Captain Unohana," he said with a nervous bow, "I am Kakumau Konrinzai. I am also more than slightly confused as to my situation."

"That is understandable. I cannot tell you everything I'm sure you'd like to know, but I will try to explain what I can. You see, it is almost unheard of for a soul with no training at the Shinigami Academy to be able to materialize a zanpakuto, and it is even more unbelievable that one managed to achieve shikai. As such, when third seat Ikkaku encountered you and defeated you, you were brought to Seireitei to meet with the captains. Once you have recovered your strength, that is."

"I see. Until then, I assume I'm not to leave my room, and I'm guessing I won't be having much interaction with others."

"Unfortunately, yes. I will be placing a barrier kido on the room when I leave which will make it impossible for you to leave, and other than someone bringing in meals to you, you will not even see anyone until the Captain Commander is ready to question you."

"Thank you very much, Captain. I appreciate your help treating my injuries and your honesty with regards to my situation. I will try not to be too much of a headache for you."

"You are welcome, Mr. Konrinzai. Your cooperation is appreciated. I will inform the Captain Commander that you are awake. Please be prepared to meet with him and the other captains, as I do not know when he will summon you."

"Of course, Captain Unohana. And again, thank you."

With a small smile, Unohana left the room leaving Kakumau alone with his thoughts.

'Well, what do you think?'

'I think this meeting will determine our fate.'

'I know that much. I meant, how do you think we should approach this?'

'Don't make enemies if you can avoid it. Be honest with them, as you are completely unskilled in deception. That Captain Unohana seems like an excellent person to have as an ally. She was very gentle, but at the same time she radiated strength. If you have an opportunity, I would seek her council.'

'Yeah, she was gentle because she could be, no doubt about it. Only a moron wouldn't recognize the power with her presence. But is it really wise to treat her like an ally? After all, we don't know whether or not everything I say will be taken directly to this Captain Commander. Just because I'm no good at deception doesn't mean she couldn't be.'

'True. But since you will have no choice but to be honest with the captains anyway, you run little risk in revealing things to her in advance. Besides, even you don't believe what you just said about her deceiving you. There was no malice or indication of anything hidden in your conversation.'

Just then there was a knock at the door, followed by a familiar voice, "Yo, punching bag? Ready for the meeting?"

'Well that didn't take long.' "That you, Ikkaku?"

Just then the door opened revealing two familiar faces. "Ah, and hello again, Captain Unohana. I take it this is my armed escort to the meeting?"

Unohana answered with a smile, though it seemed slightly sad, "I'm afraid so, Mr. Konrinzai. While I do not believe you would attempt anything, we must be cautious."

"That's why I'm here, to kick your ass again if you try anything stupid."

"I understand. Please, Captain Unohana, it feels odd having a captain refer to me so formally. If you don't mind, I'd prefer you call me Kakumau. And as for you, Ikkaku, you beat me, but don't let it go to your head. After all, next time we fight, your staff won't catch me off guard."

"Heh, losers always make lame excuses."

"Kakumau, Ikkaku, I'd appreciate it if you didn't cause a ruckus in my barracks. We can't keep the Captain Commander waiting now, can we?" Although she said it with a smile, Ikkaku and Kakumau both went pale and silent at her gentle request and followed her out the door.

Ok, hopefully people are enjoying this. Either way, I'll keep writing it cuz I enjoy it. That being said, my goal is to get better at this, so reviews telling me what I'm doing well and what needs work would be great.