HI! Yes, I'm uploading early!! For those new to the game, don't get used it it! lol

There may be a few mistakes because, honestly I got tired of rereading this thing and searching for mistakes.

I need a BETA, anybody know how that works?! XD

Brittany lay staring up at her bedroom ceiling. Her heart was still fluttering, the warm kiss still fresh on her lips. She sighed. If she closed her eyes she could still see Alvin in her mind. Warm, chocolate skin, that breathed the sun… sparkling crystal blue eyes so bright they'd put stars to shame, that cocky smile that lit up his entire face… Alvin. She loved him. Her mind was racing.

After… after what had happened…

Alvin had rolled to the side allowing her to sit up. With her knees to her chest, Brittany slowly filtered through her jacket pockets… fingering the chunk of plastic with her left hand… pulling the phone out and flipping it open…

Her voice was unsteady as she held to her ear… "He-Hello?"

"Hey, baby"

The sound of his voice caused her stomach to hit the floor with a sickening crack. She folded her lips together… not daring to say anything for several moments.

"You still there?"

She let Stephen's voice echo in her ears as she struggled to come up with audible response.

"…I'm here…" She squeaked.

"Well... are you ready?" Stephen asked.

Brittany blinked. "Ready? For what?"

"We're going to the movies aren't we? Remember?" Stephen questioned. "Don't tell me you forgot."

"I- I did." Brittany admitted. "And… I can't… I'm…" Her eyes swam to Alvin; whom was now standing with his back to her, his gaze locked on the hill they'd just fell down. "…busy…" she finished.

"Oh," Stephen whispered. He didn't sound upset… maybe just… disappointed.

"I'll see you later though," She offered.

"Yeah," he accepted. "Sure."

"Ok. Um… bye…" Brittany didn't wait for him to respond before she pulled the phone away from her ear… snapping it closed.

Immediately afterwards a voice in the back of her mind scolded her. Telling Brittany she sounded too careless on the phone, too mean... he probably knew something was going on. Or if he didn't… he probably was hurt. But another voice shrugged it off. Stephen didn't get hurt. Stephen didn't get sad. Stephen didn't get angry. She had nothing to worry about. Why would she be worried?

With her eyes still locked on Alvin, Brittany slowly stood to her feet. She pocketed the phone and began brushing the snow and ice from her clothing. Then she slowly started her walk back up the hill, when she got to the spot Alvin was standing he stopped her, his hand landing firmly on her shoulder.

"What does this mean?" He questioned.

She shrugged him off and began walking again. "It doesn't mean anything." She protested. Then, after Alvin threw her a glare added; "I don't know."

"You didn't tell him." Alvin pointed out.

"And I don't plan to." Brittany said. She ran her fingers through her hair… combing bits of snow out and smoothing it down. "It was… an accident, Alvin." She stated, spinning around to face him.

"Really?" Alvin asked.

He took a step closer to her. In one fluid motion Alvin had reached out, pulling her to him. Brittany was set on automatic, her eyes fluttering shut just as his lips grazed hers. The action left her heart fluttering, her mind racing, and her lungs utterly useless.

"We can't tell anyone…" Brittany finally breathed.

But Alvin was already disappearing behind the horizon at the top of the hill.

Brittany's mind was still churning… struggling to make sense of it all. What did this mean? Had she chosen Alvin? Is that what her heart was trying to tell her? But that couldn't be- no. She'd done such a great job of getting rid of him. Now he was back… and just like a persistent girl scout, he would NOT take no for an answer.

His pictures and photos… folded notes that had been shoved through the slots of her locker… CDs, burned and mixed with her favorite songs, little sticky notes stuck on top with tiny messages written in black and blue ink… necklaces and earrings he'd given her… a jacket and sunglasses she'd stolen one night… everything had been carefully packed away in a large unlabeled box that sat in the back of her closet. She'd deleted every message he'd left from her phone… not baring to hear the sound of his voice.

She'd gotten to a point where she'd actually stopped missing him. She could go a long week when he never even crossed her mind. She thrown out everything that even reminded her of him and replaced it all with thoughts of new things… she'd begun moving on… She read CosmoGIRL, she knew what to expect. The shock, the denial, the heartbreak… and now… she'd moved on.

Brittany had laughed at the thought of coming back. But now… What was wrong with her?! What was with her head! Why couldn't she just LET HIM GO! Why did she- Why did she keep doing this to herself?

She loved Stephen.

She loved Stephen.

She LOVED Stephen.

It felt like her heart was breaking… No, like it was steadily being cut in two with a jagged knife. Tears warmed the ridges of her eyelids. Brittany breathed. It seemed like she was always crying now.

She couldn't choose between the two… so she cried. Alvin kept coming back so she cried. Stephen was SO beautiful so she cried. Alvin caused her heart to flutter so she cried. She was breaking Stephen's heart so she cried. Alvin deserved an answer she couldn't give him so she cried. Life was so complicated and confusing… so… she cried.

It was like she was the rope in a tug-a-war between Stephen and Alvin… only no one was winning. So she was just standing rock still in the middle with them tugging on her arms with all their might.

Why were they doing this to her!?

Well… to be fair… Stephen didn't actually know about her inner turmoil. He didn't know that Alvin was still a big part of her life. She didn't talk about Alvin anymore with Stephen. She'd buried Alvin along with several other possessions in a big box labeled Things They Do Not (And Should Not) Talk About.

It had been her choice not his… the not talking about Alvin thing. Stephen encouraged her to put whatever she was feeling on the table so they could go through it together… So she was never left alone with her problems... like she was now.

She was scared…

Scared of telling Stephen the truth… scared of being with Alvin… scared of NOT being with Stephen…

She'd thought of going to her sisters several times over but had quickly banished the idea. It would require too much explanation. She wasn't ready for that. To make them understand… she'd have to tell them EVERYTHING. Which meant… admitting to EVERYTHING.

What had she been thinking when she'd done all these things?

She was with Stephen. She loved Stephen. But she lied to him about Alvin when she didn't have to… Then she realized she was falling for Alvin all over again and she HAD to lie to Stephen… then… when things couldn't possibly get more complicated… she kissed the stupid jerk … twice-

Alvin not Stephen. Stephen wasn't a stupid jerk… he could never be a stupid jerk…

TWICE!

She kissed someone who wasn't her boyfriend TWICE!!

What kind of person did that?

A crazy person… that's what Mrs. Miller would have said.

What's wrong?

You and Alvin did what?

Why would you do that?

What about Stephen?

And then… What are you going to do?

That's what they'd be asking her. Questions she couldn't begin to answer. No… things were just better left as they were. She'd figure something out… she had to…

What had all those after-school specials preached all her life?

Follow Your Heart… Be true to your heart… Listen to your heart…

Now, if only she knew what her heart was saying.

Brittany must have closed her eyes and fallen asleep… because the next thing she knew… she was waking up. There was a tap at her window… it was light at first… but then came another … and another… and another… Brittany slowly pried her baby blue eyes open, fluttering her eyelashes several times. She stretched and yawned as the tapping pursued.

She groggily rose from her seat and made her way to the window… careful not to wake her sisters; whom had snuk in sometime after she'd fallen asleep. The only light outside came from the stars which shone a vibrant crystal white… the glow of the moon shone down on the house… casting light around the yard… illuminating the figure that stood just outside her window.

Brittany rubbed her eyes furiously… unsure of what she'd just seen.

Stephen?

"Stephen…" Brittany asked aloud, and then pursed her lips when Eleanor let out a soft snore.

Stephen raked his hands through his short blonde hair and gave her a sheepish smile before beckoning her outside. Brittany thought about rolling her eyes and telling him to go home but… she couldn't. There was something about Stephen… maybe it was eyes… but you just COULD NOT say no to him.

No matter how hard you tried.

Brittany shrugged, turning away from the window. She quickly crossed and edged out of the room… the door only squeaking a little as she did so. Brittany tiptoed down the staircase and stepped into a pair of boots. Not willing to look for her own, she shrugged on Jeanette's coat, which she found on the banister. Brittany sighed before pulling open the front door and stepping out into the bitter cold.

Once outside she decided it really wasn't THAT cold…

She found Stephen sitting on the hood of his car… starring up at the stars… he was always looking at the sky… She never really thought about it before but… she liked that about him.

Wordlessly, Brittany made her way over to the other side of his car and pulled herself up… finding a seat next to him. She was tired and figured that he'd tell her whatever he came to tell her… when he was ready… and for once… she didn't want to push…

And even though she knew he hadn't been there… A part of her wondered if he knew about Alvin. Ok, a LARGE part of her wondered if he knew about Alvin. She kept expecting him to turn to her and call her every name in the book… to declare that he knew everything and she was horrible for doing this to him. But...

He didn't.

"Do you ever get so…" Stephen murmured. "So confused and frustrated with everything that you just want to scream?" He asked.

Brittany watched him out of the corner of her eye. Could it be possible that he was reading her mind? Could it be possible… that he DID know? She started to panic for a minute… he couldn't know. He couldn't…

"I guess..." Brittany murmured.

"I wish there was some kind of big stop button that you could just press" Stephen suggested. "Ya know?

"Yeah… I…" Brittany bit her lip. Should she just confess now and get it over with. Maybe if she told him now he'd forgive her? Could that be possible?

"At least I have you…" Stephen whispered.

He leaned close, wrapping his arm around her shoulder blades.

Brittany swallowed. "Yeah… I…" she thought for a minute before looking up at him. There was something about the way he said those words… that worried her. "What do you mean though? Is something wrong?"

He shrugged. "Just some family stuff… no biggie…"

"Are you…sure?" She questioned.

"I'm fine…" Stephen murmured. "Everything's fine."

Brittany sighed, resting her head softly against his chest. She listened to his heart… concentrating on the heavy pounding that shook his body… his even breathes as he inhaled and then exhaled…

"Why can't things be simple?" Stephen asked her.

"Because then life would be MUCH too easy" She replied.

"I wish it was that easy…" He muttered. "I wish… I wish… things didn't have to change."

Brittany paused before whispering. "Everything changes…" She locked eyes with his. "It doesn't always have to be bad."

"But when it is…." Stephen questioned.

"It sucks." Brittany finished. Her eyes drifted back to the sky.

"I don't want things to change between us." Stephen told her.

She swallowed. Brittany wanted to tell him right then and there. That it was too late. That she had changed things. That… when he found out what she'd done… he wouldn't want to speak to her ever again… She didn't even want to speak to herself again…

And that it was hard for her… because even though she knew what she'd done was wrong. It felt right. But that she didn't want to hurt him. It was the last thing on her mind. She cared about him… so … so much.

"Hey… Stephen…" Her voice was shaky again. Brittany cleared her throat.

"Hmmm?" Stephen hummed.

"I- I love you."

"I love you too."

"Just… keep that in mind… alright?" Brittany whispered.

"What do you mean?" Stephen asked.

"Just in case… "Brittany murmured. "Just in case things don't turn out well for us… don't hate me."

"There is no way I could ever hate you, Brittany." Stephen declared. " Never. No matter what… even if things don't work out with us… I'll still love you."

Brittany's eyes met his. "You can't promise that."

"Of course I can. Because I know you." He explained, lightly touching her collar bone with his pointed finger.

"What if I did something really bad… like really, really… just plain…?" Brittany paused to think of the word. "Just plain… bitchy."

"You're not that kind of person" Stephen shrugged.

"What if I was?" Brittany inquired.

Stephen grinned. "Then I call you every bad name in the book and swear to hate you forever."

Brittany didn't smile. "I'm serious…"

Stephen reached out to touch her nose. "So am I" He told her "You're important to me, ok? Even if we don't stay together… I want us to be friends. Alright?"

"Yeah," Brittany shrugged.

"That sounds like a 'Yeah… whatever'." Stephen told her. "I'm serious… even if we break up… and you find some other guys whose tons better for you… and you guys get married and have fifteen kids…"

"Fifteen kids?!!" Brittany exclaimed.

"I want us to always be friends…" Stephen finished. "Maybe not right away… but… eventually… I don't want to just stop talking and not see you thirty years…"

"Where'd you even get that number from?" Brittany questioned. "The fifteen…?"

"The kind of friends that meet and show each other our baby pictures after not seeing each other for ten years." Stephen finished. "Me and you…"

"Sure," Brittany finally agreed.

Stephen held out his pinky finger to her. "Promise?" he asked.

Brittany grinned softly, sticking out her own… she hooked her finger around his. "Promise…"

They dropped their hands and just sat in silence for a moment, starring up at the sky. Brittany shivered when a gust of wind whipped up pulling at her jacket. Stephen hugged her closer, his gaze never leaving the stars.

"Football season's over" He announced.

Brittany watched him carefully out of the corner of her eye. Football season had ended the night of the homecoming dance… weeks ago. WEEKS AGO. It wasn't news to anybody. Especially to someone who attended almost every game, cheering on her boyfriend from the sidelines.

"So?" Brittany asked.

"So…" Stephen said. "I know it's late in the year but I was thinking of joining the basketball team."

"You can do that?" She asked.

"Yeah," Stephen nodded. "There's some kind of try-outs but yeah…"

"That's... cool?" Brittany stated it like a question.

She could feel a tingling sense that he was trying to tell her something important. But what? What was he getting at?

"I already talked to the coach about it. A few of their starters got kicked off the team." He paused to look down at her expectantly.

"Why?" Brittany asked.

"Some of their grades were bad… others got suspended for that fight that broke out before the start of winter break…" Stephen shrugged.

"Um… So you're going to be on the team now?" She questioned. "That's… good. Right? I mean… you love basketball."

"I do." Stephen agreed. "But…"

There it was. The big BUT.

"But what?"

"But… I'll be going to practices after school almost every day" Stephen explained.

"That's alright… I have cheerleading anyway… now we can just meet up afterwards right?" Brittany said.

"Yeah… but…"

Brittany furrowed a brow, becoming frustrated now. "Just say whatever your trying say already!" she exclaimed. "Yeah… BUT WHAT?"

"Alvin's on the team too." Stephen finished.

Brittany felt her face harden. Her sky blue eyes instantly widened, "What?!" she exclaimed.

"I know you guys haven't talked since you broke up…"

Her heart stopped.

"I just don't want things to be awkward between you two."

The stilled imaged of them in the snow slipped into her subconscious.

"Awkward?!" She repeated.

That was the understatement of the year.

"Yeah!" Brittany exclaimed.

"You're upset" Stephen said, stating the obvious.

Brittany sat up, turning to face him. Her lips fixed in an odd scowl. "Of course I'm upset." Brittany stormed. "Why wouldn't I be?! Why would you- why are you- why would you even think to….!!" Her words are scattered, and she couldn't complete her thoughts. "You're going to be on the team with Alvin?!" Brittany exclaimed.

Stephen groaned, shutting his eyes as if in pain, tilting his head up to the ceiling. His eyes finally drift back to Brittany. "I like basketball and I'm good at it. I'm not going to toss a perfectly good opportunity out of the window just because of some guy I've barely spoken to. I can deal with him. I can put aside whatever is going on and do what I have to do." He said. "My question is, can you? Is this really going to be a problem?"

Brittany just looked at him. She blinked twice and stared. What was she supposed to say? Tell him that it would be a problem… that she couldn't deal with seeing Alvin not just at school every day but anytime she cared to come to one of Stephen's practices… anytime the team hung out together. That she was still debating on how she felt about him and seeing him that often wouldn't help. Didn't Stephen understand this? Didn't he understand that she was struggling to save their relationship and throwing her ex boyfriend in her face wasn't helping? Trusting her like this… asking her opinion on things like this… wasn't helping…

"Yeah… So… is it alright?" Stephen asked.

"What?"

"Me… joining the team… is it alright?"

Brittany gulped.

What was she supposed to say? Tell him that he couldn't do something he loved because she might have accidently kissed one of his teammates… and THAT is what would have been awkward.

"I'll-"Brittany pouted. "I'll deal."

He grinned a grateful smile. "Thanks, baby."

Yeah…

She'd deal.

And just when things couldn't have been more complicated.

And that's all she wrote!!!!

XD

Don't forget to send me a review!!!