The New Isabella Swan

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim any of the Twilight books

A/N: A big thankyou to everyone that reviewed or added my story. It means so much to me. Please review this chapter because I'm still not to sure about it. And really want to know what you think.

BPOV

Chapter 3: Blinking rapidly I stared around Jake's little bedroom. It was amazing what I could see with these eyes. I could see the dust motes floating around the room even the ones floating around in the dark and….. I gasped, I'd thought I knew Jacob's face better than my own. But I might as well as never seen him before. Every part of his face was in stunning detail. His glossy black hair- pulled into a pony tail at the base of his neck- was shinning as brightly as the moon.

His russet skin (which I'd always thought was pretty) looked gorgeous to me now. I'd taken this all in within a tenth of a second. I decided to sit up and then I was suddenly. Jake gasped and jumped back. "Oh I'm sorry Jake, I didn't know that was going to happen." I said in a tinkling bell voice.

"Oh it's okay Bells, I'm just happy that your okay." He grinned at me as he said. " I have to admit you're a freak show Bella." I grinned back at him and heard his breath catch. "What?" I asked. I took a deep breath, air whistled down my throat, swirling the motes in to a vortex. The action felt wrong. I considered and realized the problem was that there was no relief tied to the action. I didn't need the air. My lungs reacted indifferently to the influx.

I did not need the air, but I liked it. I could taste the lovely dust motes and the taste of salt from the beach breeze coming through the open window. I took me a moment to remember that I was waiting for an answer. "Well?" He just kept staring at me. Deciding that he wasn't going to answer any time soon I jumped of the bed in one fluid movement and crossed to his cupboard where I knew there was a mirror on the inside of the door.

I opened it and gasped.

My first reaction was an unthinking pleasure. The alien creature in the glass was indisputably beautiful, every bit as beautiful as the Cullen's had been. She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl.

My second reaction was horror. Who was she? At first glance, I couldn't find my face anywhere in the smooth, perfect planes of her features. And her eyes! This must be what Jacob meant about a freak show. I cast my mind back to my muddy human memories, it was like looking through a veil. I remember going over to the Cullen's one night, it was just me and Alice, everyone else was out hunting. That was where I'd first found out about how to create a vampire, about the transformation process. And- I shivered- the first time I heard about the Volturi. One bit of information suddenly jumped out at me. Oh and the eyes! Even though I don't remember my human life, every time I looked at a mirror I nearly had a heart attack, which is saying something.

They were blood red, only newborns have that colour red. 'Traditional' vampires have a duller red. Animal blood dilutes the colour faster, they darken up in few months, and they go amber first then gold. I jolted back to the present and turned around to face Jake. "I am a sight for sore eyes huh?" I said with a crooked grin.

"Nice joke, Bella." He was still wearing the strangest expression on his face, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. "What?" He opened his mouth then shut it with a snap. "Ugh, just spit it out Jacob." He opened his mouth again started to say something, then seemed to think better of it and asked. "When will they turn yellow?" I put my hands on my hips and walked over to him.

" In a few months, I guess I'm stuck with contact lenses until then. Now are you going to tell me what's really wrong?"

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before answering. "W-were you, um, c-conscious while you transformed?" I deliberated for second whether or not to tell him the truth, I decided that he had a right to know. "Okay, will you promise not to get angry?" I could tell he took that as a yes as he suddenly collapsed on his bed. "You went through all that in silence?" He took a deep breath "Why?" I sat down next to him and saw him wrinkle his nose. This made me laugh. I paused to listen in wonder at the sound, almost like a babbling brook.

"What's funny?" He asked.

"Oh nothing, I'm just getting use to all this." He looked at expectantly at me. I sighed and said "Because I knew what it would do to you, and Jake I've hurt you enough without making you go through that. I just love you too much." He sat up and looked into my eyes. "Bella, you have got to get this through your head." He took my head in his too hot hands. I saw him shiver at the same time I did. "The only way and I mean only way that you could ever hurt me is by hurting yourself."

"Fine, fine." I exclaimed. He looked at me with an uncomfortable expression. "What is it Jacob? Come on you can tell me." He took a deep breath and said.

"Are you, um, thirsty?" He gulped as he said this. Previously the burn in my throat had been a dull throb, but now that he had mentioned it, it came to the foremost part of my mind. I clutched at my throat and nodded. "Come on." He said, as he took my hand.

"Let's hunt."

Hunting with Jacob was one of the strangest things I'd ever done. And it was surprisingly, well, fun. We stole out his window, around to his tiny backyard and jumped his fence. Jacob went off to change and though I thought I had been used to him in his wolf form, through these eyes it quite shocking to see every single hair on his huge body or his huge, gleaming teeth in such detail.

"Ready?" I asked him. He nodded his great head. "Set?... Go." And we were off. I could now see why my worries of Edward hitting trees when he ran were unfounded. It was a peculiar feeling, the balance between speed and clarity. Because, while I rocketed over, under and through the thick jade maze at a rate that should of reduced everything to a streaky green blur, I could plainly see each tiny leaf on all the small branches of every insignificant shrub that I passed.

The wind of my speed blew my hair back and pressed the fabric of my shirt and jeans -the same ones in which Victoria had tortured me- against my body, and though I knew it shouldn't, it felt warm against my skin. Just as the rough forest floor shouldn't feel like velvet beneath my bare soles, and the limbs that whipped against my skin shouldn't feel like caressing feathers.

The forest was much more alive than I'd ever known- small creatures whose existence I'd never guessed at teemed in the leaves around me. They all grew silent after I passed- they didn't seem to mind Jacob running about 25 meters behind me- their breath quickening in fear. The animals had a much wiser reaction to my scent than humans did. Certainly, it'd had the opposite effect on me.

I kept waiting to feel winded, but my breath came out effortlessly. I waited for the burn to begin in my muscles, but my strength only seemed to increase as I grew accustomed to my stride. My leaping bounds stretched longer, and soon Jacob was so far behind I wouldn't been able to see him with human eyes. I laughed again. My naked feet touched the ground so infrequently that it felt more like flying then running.

I heard a bark from Jacob but nothing else. He had stopped. I briefly considered mutiny. But, with a sigh, I whirled and skipped back to him. He looked at me then stuck his tongue out. I got the message. Stop here unless you want to go to Canada today. I grinned in return. He then shifted so that his head pointed to the right. I realised there must be something there he wanted me to see. So I closed my eyes and listened.

I heard the whisper of birds preening their feathers in the treetops, their fluttering heartbeats, the maple leaves scaping together, the faint clicking of ants following each other in a long line up the bark of the nearest tree. But I knew he meant something in particular, so I let my ears range out, seeking something different than the small hum of life that surrounded us. There was an open space near us- the wind had a different sound across the exposed grass- and a small creek, with a rocky bed.

And there, near the noise of the water, was the splash of lapping tongues, the loud thudding of heavy hearts, pumping thick streams of blood….It felt like the sides of my throat had been sucked closed.

"There's three elk? To the right?" He nodded. I took a deep breath through my nose and could suddenly smell Jake's disgusting, wet dog scent in full force but that wasn't all. I could also smell the rich, earthy smell of rot and moss, the resin in the evergreens, the warm, almost nutty aroma of the small rodents cowering beneath the tree roots. And then, reaching out again, the smell of clean water, which was surprisingly unappealing despite my thirst. I focused toward the water and found the scent that must have gone with the lapping noise and pounding heart.

Another warm smell rich and tangy, stronger than the others. And yet nearly as unappealing as the brook. I wrinkled my nose. I heard a deep, rumbling noise from inside Jake's chest, a chuckle. "So what do I do?" He raised one bushy brow. "Lousy werewolf." I muttered. I then closed my eyes and breathed in the scent. A bout of baking thirst intruded on my awareness, and suddenly, the warm, tangy odour wasn't quite so objectionable. At least it would be something hot and wet in my desiccated mouth. My eyes snapped open.

He gave me a look which I knew meant well? I felt myself drift with the scent, barely aware of my movement as I ghosted down the incline to the narrow meadow where the stream flowed. My body shifted forward automatically into a low crouch as I hesitated at the fern-fringed edge of the trees. I could see a big buck, two dozen antler points crowning his head, at the streams edge, and the shadow spotted shapes of the two others a couple of meters back.

I centered myself around the scent of the male, the hot spot in his shaggy neck where the warmth pulsed strongest. Only 30 meters away- two or three bounds- between us. But as my muscles bunched in preparation, the wind shifted, blowing stronger now, and from ahead of me. I didn't stop to think, hurtling out of the trees, scaring the elk into the forest, racing after a new fragrance so attractive that there wasn't a choice. It was compulsory.

The scent ruled completely. I was single minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst and the smell that promised to quench it. My thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts and began to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins.

There was no other thing that could break through my concentration now. Not even….. self-preservation. I flew to crest of a small hill and there at the bottom was the source of the scent. Two men in hikers gear were talking while pointing at a map that they held between them.

Within a second I was standing between them. They didn't even have time to look up as I snapped their necks. I then grabbed the closer one and brought his neck to my lips. Then it came, the delicious taste quenched all but a tiny bit of my thirst, I was finished with the first one within seconds and had all ready started the second one when Jake found me.

His presence was like a bucket of cold water. I immediately dropped the hiker and backed up the hill. Jacob had changed back to human and immediately pulled me into what I used to think was a bone crushing hug, but now felt like a soft caress. I then heard a strange, almost chocking noise. I tried to breathe in but the air got hitched in my throat, I then realised what the chocking noise was, it was me.

"It's all right Bella, hunny, it wasn't your fault." He crooned. I immediately pulled away from him. "Not my fault! Jacob do you realise what I've just done?" My tinkling voice was now edging towards hysteria. I collapsed to my knees. "I'm a killer, Jacob, a monster." I now understood what Edward-ow my chest- had been trying to tell me. Immortality was not worth it, even if I lived forever I would never forgive myself for this.

"Come on Bells lets go home." I looked up to him, deep concern was etched in his face. "No, we have to bury them first. I owe their families that much."

"Bella we can't do that, they might send out a search party. We'll have to burn them."

"Fine, o-okay." Jacob then picked up the hiker's bag and started rummaging through it. Until he found a lighter. Then he started picking up some twigs and pieces of bark. He then piled it all up and set it alight.

He sat down at the crest of the hill then. I went and joined him even though it made no difference whether I stood or sat I felt exactly the same. We sat there all through the night, watching the flames get higher and higher until there was almost nothing left. I was so repulsed by myself and wrapped up in what I did that I was actually shocked when Jacob suddenly stood up and said "Come on Bella we need to go home." I stood up and started walking down the hill with him but the mention of home I immediately thought of Charlie. I came to a standstill. Jacob looked back at me quizzically.

"It's okay Bella; you're going to be alright." I saw him take in my horrified expression. He immediately whipped around and peered into the surrounding forest. He turned backed to me. "What Bella?" His eyes were frantic. "What is it?" He hissed. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. He grabbed me by the arms and shook me. "Bella, come on you're freaking me out." Jake's voice was frantic by now.

"Ch-Charlie." I finally chocked out.

"What about him?"

"Jake, I- I can't go home like this."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't go home to Charlie like this Jake. I'm a murderer, a killer, a." I took a deep breath. "I'm a monster." I tried not to think about why that was ironic.

He once again took my head in his too hot hands. "Listen to me Bella, you are NOT a monster. This." He waved back to the hill. "Was an accident, nothing more than an accident. Okay? It. Was. Not. Your. Fault! You can't control yourself anymore than I can control being a werewolf."

"But Jake, what if I can't control myself, ever." I'll never be able to see any human again Charlie, Renee, Billy any of my human friends. The enormity of the situation hit me. I sagged to my knees. Jacob bent so that we were face to face. "Bella, this is going to work out okay? I swear it will." The conviction in his voice made me almost believe him.

"Fine, okay." I said defeated. "But." I asked with a grim smile. "Please try not to think about this." He put his arm around my shoulders. "Sure Bells."

Jacob changed backed to wolf after that, but there was no fun running this time. The guilt was eating my insides, Oh God I might have known them or at the very least Charlie might be called to find them. And it wasn't just that, they had had families and friends, memories and futures. The guilt punctured through my stomach to add on top of the hole through my chest that Edward had caused, soon I'd be riddled through like Swish cheese.

Too soon we were back at Jacob's house, suddenly overwhelming fear took hold of me. "Jake is your, um, is your dad home?" He had already changed back from werewolf to human. He sighed. "No Bella he's not." I then took a deep breath testing my surroundings. "Okay then, what now?"

"Well obviously you don't but seriously? I need to sleep."

"Okay."

The rest of the day past without and drama. Jacob fell asleep on the couch within seconds, I started to watch some cooking show but soon became sick of it. I was still to wrapped up in the horror of what I had done, Then I heard something that scared me so bad, if I was human I probably would've had a heart attack. I heard tires coming down the driveway.

I jumped to my feet in one fluid motion, and shook Jacob awake in the next. "Jake, Jake I've got to get out of here." He sat up sleepily.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Your dad's here." I saw understanding flash in his eyes and his full lipped mouth make an O of surprise. "Can you smell him?" I had firmly closed my mouth the second I'd realised what was happening. I shook my head. "Bella, I know this sounds crazy but I want you to breathe in. Will you for me?" I shook my head again. How could Jacob even think that?

"Bella, sweetheart you can do this." He stepped closer to me. "I believe in you." Those simple words had the strangest and deepest effect on me. I don't know how to describe it, maybe it was the fact that Jacob was willing to risk his father's life just to help me over come this, I don't know. But I suddenly trusted him to stop me from doing anything I might regret.

"Take hold of me?" He stood behind me and grabbed my arms tightly. But I knew that I was stronger than him and could easily get out from his hold. The seconds ticked by slowly. I heard the car stop, then a door slam and footsteps against the wet grass. Next I heard someone helping Billy into his chair, then footsteps coming closer and closer to the door. Until someone put the key in the lock, the door creaked as it swung open.

Next thing I knew Billy was wheeling himself into the room with Seth right behind him. I froze. Billy was staring at Jacob and me like he couldn't believe what he was seeing, Seth looked like he understood what was going on but had no idea why. Jacob then put his mouth to my ear and whispered. "Come on I believe in you Bella." Once again those little insignificant words had that inexplicable effect on me. So locking down my muscles, I took a deep breath.

It was like a white-hot iron had been shoved down my throat. But I managed to stay where I was. I couldn't believe I was doing this, that I could do whatever reason my self-control had grown within the last couple of hours. I was so happy that if I was human I would have cried. Ever since the hikers I had come to terms with the fact that I would never see any humans again. The force of my joy was amazing, knowing that I could have everyone that I loved in my life. Well almost everyone I amended.

My entire realisation and moment of happiness had taken place within a second. So Billy was still looking between me and Jake with a confused and almost well, fearful expression on his face. I decided to break the uncomfortable silence. "Hey, Billy."

He looked surprise at my apparent control and offered at weak smile. "Hey, Bella. You look, um, better." I realised that the last time he saw me must have been after Victoria had tortured and bitten me.

"Thanks." I smiled warmly back at him. I then felt Jacob's hands loosen around mine.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Nothing unmanageable." He then spun me around to face him.

"Really?" It was hard to miss the sceptism in his voice.

"I'm fully in control." Then to my utter amazement….he kissed me.

I dimly heard Billy and Seth gasp at the exactly same time but the majority of my vast attention was focused on Jacob and his lips, like an open flame against mine. But it was wrong so wrong, finally I couldn't take it anymore and lightly pushed against him. He staggered back a few feet.

He seemed- for once- at a total lost for words. Like he couldn't believe what he'd just done and quite frankly I was having a hard time believing it. "I- I'm sorry Bella." I just nodded dumbly. Billy then cleared his throat loudly, I spun around quickly. I was waiting for my face to go a bright tomato red. But it never would again. "I-I." Billy just raised his hand to stop me. "You don't have to say anything Bella. Really it's fine." He looked back to Seth and said "Let's go. You hungry Seth?" Seth was just staring at Jacob uncomprehendingly. "Come on." He then grabbed Seth's sleeve as he wheeled to the kitchen.

I turned back to Jacob. Who was still looking at me unbelievingly. "Um, no offence or anything but what the hell was that?" I couldn't help the anger that leaked into my voice. What did he think he was doing? After all I had done and been through in the last 24 hours why did he have to add our twisted relationship on top of it?

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't know what came over me." Ugh that obvious. I took a deep breath which sent flames down my throat. I winced. "Fine, it's okay. But Jake you must realise that we can't work. Especially now." He nodded at the floor.

I took another deep breath, but the flames weren't as bad as they were a moment ago. "Okay then, Jake?" I called his name because he was still staring at the floor but he looked up as I said it. "I want." Oh man, I couldn't believe I was asking this but considering what had just happened and how my apparent control seemed to be getting better every second I knew it had to be done. "I want to go home. To Charlie."

"Are you sure? I mean I know you won't hurt him but don't you think he'll be a little um, shocked at your new look?" I had already thought of this, I wasn't very happy with it but it was the only answer I had come up with.

I told him my idea, his mood immediately perked up, "Bella that's the most insane plan I've ever heard." He grinned at me. "I love it."

"Oh." I said suddenly remembering. "I'll need to borrow some sunglasses."

The drive up seemed to take forever, I still wasn't over Jacob kissing me but I thought now that I can still have Charlie and everyone else in my life why let one kiss ruin it? I was still filled with self-loathing after what I'd done, but I swore to myself that I would make up for it, I would. We finally made it to Charlie's my trucks roar alerting him of our presence.

He came out and stood on the porch- I was praying it would stay overcast this would be hard enough without him seeing me sparkle. The second I got out of my truck I saw Charlie freeze, his eyes taking in my new appearance. "Hey, dad." I suddenly realised how off my voice was. And immediately tried talking in a 'rougher' voice. "How are you?" It was still way off but it was the best I could manage.

He opened his mouth as if to speak but couldn't seem to get a word out. Ugh, well I might as well get this over with. "Ready?" I asked Jacob in voice too low for Charlie to hear. He gave me a curt nod. "Um, dad can we take a walk with you?" That seemed to snap him out of his ravine. "S-sure." I then turned and walked into the forest.

Once we were far enough in that no one would see or hear us I turned to Charlie. "Well, obviously you're wondering about my, um, appearance." He nodded. "I'm really sorry about this but I can't explain it all but I'll tell you as much as I can."

I then turned to Jacob. "Jake? Will you show Charlie what you are?" He nodded at me once then started to take off the cut-off jeans he was wearing. Charlie seemed to find his voice by now. "Wait, wait what's going on?" I suppressed a sigh.

"Dad, I'm trying to show you that. You don't live in the world you thought you did. I'm just trying to help you understand." I nodded at Jake but adverted my eyes as did Charlie while he took his pants off, then after a moment's hesitation he phased.

If the situation wasn't so serious Charlie's reaction would've been comical. He gasped then fell onto the forest floor. Then raised a shaky hand at Jake as if to ward him off. I nodded at Jake again and he phased back to human. He pulled his pants on then walked over to Charlie as if to help him up, but he gasped and spluttered and tried to crawl away. "Jake give him a moment." I told him. We watched Charlie's face go from bone white, to green, to purple and eventually normal. "Charlie I am a were-." Jake had stopped because at the mention of werewolf Charlie had clapped his hands over his ears, like a five year old.

He then slowly got to his feet and turned to me. "Y-you can't t-turn into a a-animal can you?" Suddenly Jacob burst out laughing. "She….wishes….she….was…..that…..cool." He said between fits of laughter. I smiled warmly at Charlie and said. "No I can't and who would want to be a dirty great wolf anyway?" Charlie immediately paled at the mention of wolf. But it sobered Jake up enough to give me a hurt look "Anyway do you want to see what I can do?" This is where it all came down to whether or not Charlie wanted to know.

Once again Charlie's face went from death white, to green, to purple. He then shook his head and said. "No, no, I don't want to. Whatever 'this' is can we keep it on a need-to-know basis only?" I breathed a sigh of relief. I smiled at him again.

"Sure Dad."

"But, you will stay around right? I mean you still have to go to school and everything." I froze at that, I couldn't believe it but I had totally forgotten about school and work, I mean with all the insane and sickening stuff going around I guess I had a really good reason to forget. But I nodded anyway, he let out a sigh of relief. "Well okay then." He said smiling at me.

In the next few weeks nothing in particular happened, I lived with Charlie; I made him dinner- he never commented at my lack of appetite- I did normal ordinary things. But I also learned to hunt animals, I went to Seattle and bought 200 boxes of contact lenses- I soon realised that the venom in my eyes disintegrated them within 4 hours- the were a muddy brown, not exactly my previous colour but I guess it would have to do. Then, it seemed like a blink of an eye, it was time for school.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, it seemed that my control was getting better everyday. Sure the flames licked down my throat every time I breathed but it was manageable. Surely it wasn't as bad as the looks and stares I got. This was exactly the audience I would have gotten when I came here if I had been the most interesting person at school. I sat down with my friends and talked about meaningless non-essential things. Ignoring the curious glances being frequently thrown my way.

I talked to Angela and Mike, they didn't comment on my appearance but I could see Mike raking me with his eyes. None of my teachers made any comment on it but I did see a few curious looks and occasionally one of fear. Over all I was quite pleased with my self, maybe everything could work out. Maybe.