Further Down The Road

(Chapter Seven: A Perfect Family)

Olivia opened her eyes in the glow of the television. She stared for a moment at the wall straight ahead as she laid across the bed on her side. She listened for a moment as she heard the apartment door open. She raised up on the bed and listened to the low but muffled sounds of the television. Her eyes shifted to the clock on the night stand as her hand rested on her baby bump, it was now just after eight o'clock. Elliot was working late again and she must have fallen asleep waiting for him.

She slid off the bed and clicked the button on the remote control to turn off the television. She walked down the hall in the dark. Passing the nursery she peeked quietly through the small opening of the door to check on the children. By the soft glow of the night light she could see Hannah curled up in her bed with her teddy bear and in the crib, little Abby sucking on her pacifier and clutching her blanket.

Olivia continued down the hall and into the dark kitchen. "I waited for you," she said softly.

Elliot jumped, a little startled, having not seen her through the dark. "I'm sorry baby. We got tied up and then Cragen wanted all of the paperwork done tonight before we left. I brought dinner home, since I didn't get to cook for you like I had promised. I was putting it away, the apartment was dark I figured you went to bed." He raised his hand to sit a bottle of wine on the counter beside a dozen red roses.

Olivia smiled as he reached over to turn on the kitchen light. "I must have fallen asleep. I was a little queasy earlier and laid down for just a minute. What is all of this?"

"This is the dinner I promised you." Elliot raised his hand to her forehead. "You sick baby?"

"No, I'm pregnant, El. It will pass. I had it with the other two."

Elliot kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry sweetheart." He slipped his hand into hers. "Here," he handed her the roses.

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "But what are they for?"

"I can't buy my beautiful wife roses for no reason?"

Olivia smiled again as he kissed her lips. Elliot smoothed his hand over her belly as the baby began to kick his hand. "I never get enough of that," he said with a smile.

"Well, I hope you get your fill this time. Because this is the last one," she said placing her hand under her belly as she sat down at the table.

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss this though."

"Miss what?"

"Seeing you pregnant. You are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen."

"I look like a whale, Elliot."

"But a pretty whale," he said with a smile. He held his hand against her belly and leaned down to kiss it. "Don't tell me you are not going to miss this."

"What? The cravings and the vomiting and kicking under my ribs? And the raging hormones and water weight and swelling and those nasty prenatal vitamins? And the pelvic examines and being checked for dilation and my water breaking at the worst moment? Or worse, not breaking at all and having to be induced, like with Abby. The back pain and insomnia and labor and contractions and ripping in half so that an eight pound human can emerge from my body? Baby, I'm not so sure I will miss it."

"It sounds pretty awful. The way you put it I am not sure why any woman would choose to reproduce."

"It's not all bad," she said rubbing little circles on her belly until the baby calmed. "Once you get past the morning sickness, if you get past the morning sickness, sometimes it can be kind of amazing."

"Amazing?"

"Yes. You have this tiny little person inside you. And you can feel it kick and move and grow. Feeling the baby, all three of my babies, move inside me is the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt. Then you get the excitement of hearing the heart beat and seeing the ultrasounds and picking out the nursery and buying all of those adorable clothes. And the first time you hear the baby cry. When the doctor brings her to you and you finally get to meet her. That tiny little person who moved inside you and kicked you all that time. And you hold her and look into her beautiful eyes. You start to realize that your entire world now revolves around her. That part, I am going to miss."

"You almost sound like maybe you are not so sure about not wanting any more."

"Honey, I think three is plenty. And maybe this will be our little boy."

"What if it is another girl? You wouldn't be at least a little tempted to try again for a boy?"

"You really want another son, don't you?"

"Ahh Liv, I do. But I love my little girls, too. All of them. Including this one, if it is a girl. They are all daddy's little girls. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

"What about you? If this baby is a girl, would you still want to try for a boy?"

Elliot thought about it for a moment as he looked around the living room at the family pictures of all seven children. "No. I think you are right. Eight kids is enough. And I think this one, boy or girl, will be the baby of the family."

"I was talking to my doctor and I asked her about getting my tubes tied after the baby is born." Olivia stopped for a moment and watched him react to what she had just said.

"Is that really necessary?"

"El, this baby is living proof that birth control pills are not enough. And if we are both certain that this one is the last one, I see no reason to continue with birth control. It is a simple procedure and I would be healing from having the baby anyway. Then, no more surprises. We can just relax and enjoy our family, our children. And you know before too awful long we will be enjoying grandchildren."

"You really want to do this?"

"We still have a few months to decide. And we can talk to the doctor and ask about other options. I just think this time, we need to do something more effective than a pill."

That night Elliot held her tight as she curled in against him. He slept with one arm wrapped around her and resting on her belly.

A week later was Christmas and as it came and went Olivia watched Elliot with all of the kids. She held her hand over where she felt the gently thump of the baby's heartbeat and tried to imagine this baby sitting with his or her brothers and sisters next year in front of the Christmas tree. This was Abby's first real Christmas and she was doing as most one year olds do at Christmas time, playing with the wrapping and boxes her gifts came in. Hannah gripped her newest baby doll in one hand and watched as Dickie showed her how to play his new video game. The older girls were checking out each other's new clothes and Eli handing Elliot tools to assemble he and Hannah's new bikes.

This was their family, their perfect family. And everything she ever needed was right here in this room. Her wonderful husband, their five beautiful daughters, their two handsome son's and this baby inside her.