The Last Stand: The Deleted Scenes

Ten

Bonus scene that I could not resist

It would probably be the last time that they all sat around in the staffroom like this, Amelia reflected sadly. It was a squash getting everyone in, but somehow they managed. It would be the last time that she would sit in her chair and look over her colleagues, allies, and most importantly, her friends. She looked at each of the gathered group in turn – Davina, Imogen and Lavinia, gathered in the corner closest to the cupboard in case Davina felt the need for a quick retreat should the former headmistress's farewell speech prove too much for her. Constance was sat in her usual chair, looking even paler than usual. Amelia wondered if it was the streak, distorting her perception. Mildred and Maud were sitting at the table, with Enid sharing Maud's chair and looking rather precariously balanced. At the other end of the table, Algernon sat with Gareth, Della and Carys, although all that could be seen of the baby was a pink nose, her mother having wrapped her up in enough woolly blankets to clothe the sheep of southern Wales for the next three years.

"My friends," Amelia began, but she was interrupted by the sound of someone blowing their nose violently and continuing to sniffle. A quick look around told her that it was not any of the party in the staffroom. A few bawled cries later, and Amelia came to the conclusion that the sound was coming from under the table. Cautiously, she bent down and lifted the cloth.

A horribly familiar young woman was sitting under the table, her eyes red and her nose streaming, surrounding by tissues.

"Are you alright my dear?" Amelia asked, alarmed.

"IT'S SO SAD!" the woman moaned. "IT'S THE END! I'VE FINALLY COME TO THE END!"

Amelia realised where she recognised the face, red and puffy as it was. This was the face of Kimmeth. This was a face that foretold doom.

"IT'S THE END!" she cried again, but then she seemed to come to her senses. "Ah, yes, hello there, sorry about that. Just got a bit nostalgic, you know? Well, I'd best be getting on. I've got white rabbits to chase and Greek gods to clothe and a whole host of other things I should be getting on with." She stood up, banging her head on the table. "Ouch."

Amelia helped her out from under the table.

"So," she ventured. "It's really over then? All this Devil-mullarkey?"

Kimmeth nodded.

"Yes, it's over. I'll leave you to your own devices now, let you get on and lead normal lives. But before I go, I have a parting gift for you, Constance."

Constance raised an eyebrow as Kimmeth hauled her voluminous handbag out from under the table and rummaged in it.

"I know it's here somewhere… Maybe not…"

She grabbed Della's bag and began rifling through it.

"If it's not in mine it must be in yours, we've everything save the kitchen sink between us. Aha!"

Kimmeth swung her bag onto her shoulder and made to leave the room. As she passed Constance, she held up the thing she had fished from Della's bag.

"Croissant?"

Any colour that was left in the new head's face left it. Then, after a moment of stillness, she turned beetroot red and grabbed the offending breakfast pastry, sending it into flames as she did so. Kimmeth shrugged and waved her goodbyes before leaving them staring at Constance.

"Constance," began Amelia, "is there something you'd like to share with us?"

And with that, I really do bid you all adieu. It has been a blast, and I hope you've enjoyed this final offering.