Mello POV

I blinked rapidly, trying in vain to straighten out the words in my textbook that were twisting and blurring and GAH! I hucked the textbook across the room where it attacked the wall with a less than satisfying thunk.

"Woah! Watch it!"

I chose to ignore my best friend, instead opting to savagely rip off a chunk from my chocolate bar. Now that was satisfying. Slightly calmer, I glowered disdainfully at my abandoned Art History textbook. Why couldn't I focus? Near had casually mentioned yesterday that he had already reached chapter twenty three. I was falling behind! There was no way that little sheep-child would beat me! Especially now, with L watching.

I groaned, "Stupid Near!"

"What'd he do now?" Matt called reflexively.

"He-he..." I jumped up and kicked over my chair, "I don't know, but it's all his damn fault!"

"Having trouble concentrating again?" Matt asked knowingly.

I shot a glare his way. Damn nerd. He wasn't even looking at me and he knew what was wrong! He just sat there contentedly playing on his Wii-Box or his X Station or whatever the hell his stupid gaming device was called.

He glanced up, finally noticing my incriminating gaze, "What? Do you want me to turn down the volume?"

"No..." The volume wasn't the problem, he was the problem. His mere presence in the room was enough to scramble my thoughts. But, I couldn't just tell him to get out. I mean- I tried to once, but it didn't come out right. He had lifted up his goggles and looked at me with his sad puppy dog eyes. His eyes were so expressive under those damn goggles. You'd never know with the orange tint, but they're a deep emerald green, with little glimmering sepia flecks. Breathtaking... He had left the room without a sound, looking to all the world like a dejected little kicked puppy... it was adorable in a really depressing, melancholy way... and UGH! There goes my stupid head again! I righted my fallen chair and retrieved my abused textbook, diving back in with fervor. The point is, I don't know why, but Matt is damn distracting.

I feverishly read and took unnecessary notes, instantly committing to memory the distinctions of Monet's painting style. I growled at the useless facts. How would this crap help me become the next L? I stretched back in my chair, wincing as my vertebrae popped.

My eyes wandered over to my fashionably challenged roommate (I mean really- stripes?). He was sitting on the floor, back resting on the foot of his bed. From the way his back was slightly hunched and how his death grip on the controller was turning his knuckles white, I could tell he was fighting the boss. I liked to track his progress in the game by examining his face, looking for the slight changes on his passive demeanor. He bit determinedly on the left side of his lower lip, forcing the other half to pucker out. His eyes visibly squinted and his neck craned forward- he was going in for the kill. I counted in my head: six, five, four, three, two, one...

He visibly relaxed, muscles slowly uncoiling, and his face settled into a look of utter serenity. A wave of calm settled over my body; I loved seeing him when he beat the boss, leveled up, or met his goal somehow. He looked so blissful, so angelic. I idly imagined a heavenly beam of light engulfing the gamer, and sighed at the image, imagining the way his creamy skin would glow...

I mentally slammed my head into a wall. Again with the weird thoughts, Mello!

"Damn Near." I grumbled. I didn't even pause to consider how my haphazard trains of thought were Near's doing. It was all related to him somehow.

A short time later, I closed my notes with a flourish. I finished chapter twenty five, Near! Eat that!

Instantaneously bored, I scanned the room for entertainment. I surveyed a certain redhead. His face was blank and his eyes were half lidded. Analysis: Matt's Mindless Gaming Mode. Conclusion: Conversation will be acknowledged.

"Ma-att" I called.

He snapped out of his nerd coma, "Huh?"

"Matt, I'm bored."

"You finnish studying already? I thought I heard you ranting about Near going ahead in Art History."

I beamed, grateful for a bragging opportunity. "Yah, the class is on chapter seventeen, and he's on twenty three, the fucker. But guess what chapter I'm on?"

Matt grinned good naturedly, "What?"

"Twenty five!"

He shook his head, "You work too hard, Mels"

I rolled my eyes, "Matt, you know I won't beat Near and impress L by sitting on my ass like you do all day." He shrugged. "Hey Matt?"

"Still here."

"Do you think if I mentioned my progress to L he'd be impressed? Maybe tonight? Hey! Do you think he'll ask us to eat dinner with him too? That would be so cool! I wish I could talk to him right now..."

Matt suddenly tensed. Was he approaching a challenging part? I looked down to study his grip on the controller, but to my astonishment his hands were still.

"Uh, Matt?" I ventured.

"How am I supposed to know whether you'll have the opportunity to ogle at your precious L tonight?" His eyes flashed with anger. I stared at him wide eyed. I hadn't known Matt had the capacity to feel anger, and here he was, upset because I'd asked a stupid question? What gave him the right? My own anger flared.

"Jesus, Matt! I'm sorry I can't fucking read your mind! How am I supposed to know whether or not you know stuff?"

Matt didn't respond. He slowly shook his head and switched off his previously neglected game, opting to stare at a black screen. I growled, now he was going to pointedly ignore me? I stood up and stomped across the room, coming to a stop directly in front of him. I crossed my arms and glowered at him, waiting for acknowledgment. He merely chose a different point to stare at.

"Matt, look at me!" I snapped my fingers in his face. "Hey, what the hell is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"Do you think I'm an idiot, Matt?"

"No."

"Then why in the world would you dare to think that I can't see that YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM!"

He flinched slightly at my raised voice, but gave no other indication that he heard me. My hands shook with anxiety and rage. I wished he'd stop being so passive aggressive; that he'd yell at me or punch me or something. I was starting to feel like a jerk- considering I was screaming at my best friend who, in retrospect, hadn't exactly done anything.

I gave in and plopped down in front of him. "Okay, Matt, I'm calm. Now tell me what's wrong." He finally turned towards me, indecision etched on his face. "I won't get mad." He looked at me doubtfully. "Probably." I amended.

"Well, it's just that... I-I don't like it."

"Don't like what?"

He drew in a deep breath and fixed his eyes on a point over my head. "You've always been obsessed with beating Near and- and L, but ever since Roger announced his visit, it's only gotten worse."

I narrowed my eyes dangerously. "Let me get this straight. You are upset because I'm trying to reach my dreams?"

"N-no, that's not what I mean. It's fine that you want to be the next L. Your motivation and determination is unrivaled and you're brilliant. You deserve recognition. But it's all you ever talk about! It's all you ever pay attention to!"

"Well I'm sorry I'm focused on my goals. What? Do you want me to pay more attention to you?" My tone was bitter.

Matt clenched his jaw, "Yes!" he growled. "But I get it! I'm not important enough! I don't matter! You'd rather spend your time pining after L!" He bit down hard on his lip. I shook my head, shocked at his little outburst. He was wrong... Matt was important to me- and that was the problem! I should be studying now! He was keeping me from my goals- from proving myself to L...

Pining after L. That's what he was upset about? I didn't think Matt would notice when I flirted with my role model, it was only meant for the eyes of Albino Boy. I smiled slightly, remembering lunch. I had nearly fallen over the table while grinning seductively at the great detective. The man himself hadn't seemed to notice- but Near. I released an internal manic laugh. The great emotionless Near looked positively crest fallen. His eyes had emotion. He was angry, and depressed, and hurt, and I did that! Mwahahaha! As amused as I was, I couldn't help but notice that weird Japanese guy looked slightly pissed as well. I turned to ask Matt for his opinion, only to meet his indignant expression. Oh right, uncharacteristically angry Matt.

"You're upset that I'm giving L attention?" I questioned.

He averted his gaze and made a grab at his goggles, only to find they were already covering his eyes, "Never mind, just do what you want." He stood up and grabbed his gameboy.

"Matt, where are you going?" I demanded.

"Out." He grumbled.

He ducked his head, attempting to hide his crumpled expression. I stared at his retreating form in awe. Matt had avoided my questioning- defied me. I should have been angry- he would be getting pummeled right now if he were anyone else- but I was simply confused. He didn't like the attention I gave to L?

I grabbed at my chocolate bar, and tore into it. I sighed contentedly as I turned the smooth milk chocolate around with my tongue, savoring the delectable flavor. Considerably calmer, I couldn't help but feel remorse for Matt's distress. I ran through the conversation in my head, searching for trigger words or phrases that could have set him off.

I flopped on my bed and groaned, clutching at my spinning head. Why is it that Matt always knows what to do to cool my fiery temper, yet I am unable to help him the one time the roles are reversed? Worse than that- I ended up angry at him. My stomach clenched. In sympathy? In guilt? I'm not sure- but I sure as hell felt sick when I thought of how upset he was- how upset I made him, and how I couldn't even help him...

Damn you Matt. The kid's not even here and he's invaded my brain! I should be working. I should be beating Near, proving myself to L, and humiliating Near in the process. How can I do that with Matt distracting me?

I pushed myself up from the bed. I needed to put my mind at ease; I needed to find him so I can stop worrying about the bastard. I left the empty confines of our room to search for the source of my mental demise.