Matt POV

I glared at the 'Game Over' sign that flashed mockingly across the screen... for the seventh time this hour. This had to be a new record. I just couldn't concentrate. Usually, filling my head with gun shots, screams, controls, plot lines, animations, and epic effects was enough to sate my darting mind, but not today. Not after what I'd done. Every time I reached a point in my game that didn't demand 100% of my attention (which was often, despite the fact I was playing a new and relatively challenging game), my eyes would flicker over to my roommate on their own accord.

By this point, his image was ingrained into my mind. Mello lying face up on his bed, eyes flitting over the pages of the novel that he dangled above his head. With each lazy turn of the page and each deliberate snap of chocolate, he rapidly progressed through the dense book.

He was so focused, so unsuspecting so vulnerable... How could I? I had just spilled one of my best friend's most carefully guarded secrets to Near of all people! Why would I do such a thing? Selfishness? Jealousy? ...Hurt? An echo of that painful hollow feeling throbbed in my chest. He hadn't corrected me when I claimed that I wasn't important to him, that I didn't matter...

No. My own pain was a terrible excuse for betrayal. And more than that... he apologized. Mello- Mello apologized. His velvety voice played through my mind.

"I said I was sorry. I-I do care about you, Matt."

He had held me. My cheeks warmed at the memory. For a long, blissful moment I was encased in his safe, warm arms. Surrounded by his smooth skin, his silky hair, his soft breath against my neck... and he had whispered...

"I never wanted to hurt you, Matty,"

Yet I, selfish bastard that I am, had hurt him. But he didn't know that yet. Would he still care about me when he discovers my betrayal? Crap... I bit back a string of insults as I lost my final life.

"Hey, Matt?" The blonde's voice sliced through my efforts of staying focused.

"Yahuh?" I tried to sound distracted.

"Wanna go to lunch now?"

"Yes," I lied. Honestly, I had been dreading going to lunch. Meal times were the most likely periods when Mello and I, Near, and L would all be in the same room. After my little slip up to Near, he hadn't done anything at dinner, or breakfast this morning. I couldn't help the dread that pooled in my stomach as I followed the confident blonde out of the room.

He had swapped his leather vest for a tight black tee today, but his leather pants still remained. As he strode down the hallway mere feet in front of me, I had an excellent view of his- NO! Traitorous thoughts! I must have ADD or something. One minute I'm thinking about how Mello is likely to be mentally crippled in the next twenty minutes, and then I'm shamelessly checking him out. Honestly! Why can't my thoughts have a nice, coherent, predictable stream! I hate that- Oh crap there's Near. He's coming closer! Wait... did I just mentally interrupt myself again?

I stopped dead in my tracks the same moment as my best friend. Near appeared unfazed by the blonde's piercing glare. I shuddered, grateful that he had never inflicted such a look upon me.

"Matt. Mello." The silver haired boy gave us each a brisk nod in the same manor that L may have. "I asked Roger to invite L and his Japanese coworker to dine with us. Why don't we sit in the table in the back corner?"

Mello gave a sharp nod before clenching his fists and shoving the younger children aside as he made his way to the food line. Of course at the mention of L, Mello would degrade himself to sitting with Near, or the "little albino bastard," as he was frequently referred to in our room. I grit my teeth as the bastard in question followed me towards the end of the line.

"What, Near?" I murmured, deliberately fixing my gaze elsewhere. If Mello saw me talking to his rival, not even chocolate would placate his rage.

"Matt appears anxious. Is he concerned that our plan won't work?"

"Our plan? Whatever sick thing you have in mind is entirely your doing."

"I couldn't have done it without you, Matt. You have played an essential role in Mello's fall from grace."

"Listen," I let my voice fall to a whisper as I piled food onto my plate. "You don't have to do this anymore. Mello and I are cool now so you don't-"

"What's done is done. You will thank me after you see L's disregard of Mello. Everything is arranged."

"Well can't you stop it?"

"I'd rather not. Besides, at this point, I couldn't even if I had the inclination."

Mello glared at the two of us as we sat down. Had he heard us talking?

"So, Near," Mello made a disgusted face, as if his rival's name was bitter on his tongue, "Where is L? You better not have lied when you said he'd be here."

"I can assure you, I recently sent out Roger to fetch him."

"He's not a dog, Near. People aren't your play things!"

"Mello certainly doesn't treat people with respect. A hypocritical statement, indeed."

I found myself actually wishing for L's arrival. Perhaps his presence would end the constant bickering, and consequently my growing headache.

"Good afternoon boys," A bitter old man had mystically appeared at our table.

"Where is L, Roger?" Near questioned.

"I apologize, boys, but L has entered a rather crucial moment in his case. He cannot afford a lunch break."

"Thank you, Roger," Near dismissed his elder. Goody-two-shoes. Near was such a brown noser that he could get away with treating Roger like a servant. If Mello or I tried anything like that we'd be.... Wait. Roger said that L isn't coming, so is the plan off? Will Mello be saved from whatever Near has in store for him?

I turned to face the rivals. Mello was insulting Near around a mouthful of an unidentified chocolate substance, and Near was staring off into the distance. He looked... worried? Was that the human equivalent to Near's expression? That could mean that Near truly didn't have any power to stop Mello's humiliation...

"Matt!"

"Huh?"

"We're going now! I would rather not hang around with stupid-ass, lying midgets!"

I nodded eagerly and stood. Maybe if we get out in time we could... Oh, crap.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. One of the smaller boys, one of Near's "groupies" as Mello and I liked to call them, stumbled towards our table, tripping over his brown pajama pants. Honestly, couldn't people find someone better to idolize, like oh I don't know, the actual L? He leaned over our table, looking determined to say something to Near, when... SPLAT. The foul bodily fluids that Mello feared came pouring out of the boys mouth. I had to wonder how Near had planned this.

I turned to face my best friend. His face had gone bleach white, his eyes were squeezed shut, and he was violently shaking. I don't know how I managed it, probably adrenalin or whatever, but I scooped the traumatized teen into my arms and darted out of the cafeteria.

"It's okay, Mello. It's okay, Mello. It's okay..." I chanted between ragged breaths as I dashed towards the sanctuary of our room. With a final heave I deposited my shaking friend on his bed. He stared up at me with wide, glazed over eyes. He was terrified yes, but also... distant.

"Mello," I whispered soothingly, stroking his tangled locks, damp with sweat. No response. I sighed. I know I shouldn't be thinking such selfish thoughts, but it was painful to see the blonde like this. He was always so strong, so commanding... a little firecracker. The only time I had ever seen him anywhere near this state was when someone brought up his past... his past... of course. I always thought vomit was a strange thing to be afraid of, even for someone as bazaar as Mello.

"What happened to you, Mello..."