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Chapter 6; Offspring
(Not what you think. Trust me)
There was certain protocol during emergency situations at Konoha Hospital.
If it bleeds it leads… But if its nin, bring them in.
Unless it was a life threatening situation with a civilian, nin were cared for first.
But, Sakura didn't think that THIS qualified as a 'Dire Emergency'.
Kakashi was fine. He wasn't bleeding, his chakra was normal, the only thing that seemed to be wrong with him was the stripe of his face above his mask and below his hairline, was tinged an unhealthy green color, and he was clutching desperately to a waste bin he'd obviously confiscated from below the exam room sink, from which a sour sick scent wafted.
Sakura blinked at him when she came into the room. Irritation building with every passing second.
"Kakashi-sensei, why did you tell Mitsuko that this was a 'life or death situation'? You're not hurt, you're chakra's not even overly low."
He gave a shiver, and made a wet snuffing noise through what sounded like a runny nose. "Close the door and come here."
She shook her head but did as he asked, standing about a foot from him with her arms crossed tightly over her chest.
He snuffed again, lifted a hand and swiped beads of sweat from his forehead. "I think I'm pregnant."
A shock went through her and she stumbled back a step; "W-what?"
He sighed, eyes closing and shifted where he sat on the end of the exam table. "I'm showing all the symptoms of being pregnant."
"You're a guy, Kakashi-sensei… You can't get pregnant."
"Male seahorses get pregnant."
"Yes, but you're not a seahorse."
"Then how do you explain this?" He moved the waste bin from in front of him, and Sakura blinked absently at his stomach.
Nothing looked abnormal.
"Look, Kakashi-sensei… Maybe you're just constipated, or have food poisoning—"
"I'm not constipated."
"Well, I really don't think you're pregnant either… And how do I explain what? Your stomach looks fine."
He paused, blinked; "Oh, really?" And laid down on his back, flat on the table.
And there it was.
His stomach was indeed protruding… A perfectly formed little BUMP.
Sakura stared at it, and cautiously approached, her eyes wide.
"I'm not an idiot, Sakura… I'm actually quite knowledgeable when it comes to the processes of my own body. Spending years in and out of this place kind of forced that upon me. And using this knowledge, I've surmised that my symptoms are pointing, with terrifyingly little alternative that I know of, at pregnancy. All I want you to do is use your much greater knowledge of all things medical and tell me if I'm wrong, so we can find out what's going on."
Sakura nodded, her eyebrows drawn down in a serious manner, and shook her hands out as she closed the distance between them.
She mumbled something about how she couldn't believe this was happening, and just wait until Tsunade heard about this one; as she pushed Kakashi's shirt up, and nudged his waistband lower on his hips.
She took a moment to visually inspect the little bump below his belly button before she placed her hands together, hovering above it, and centered herself.
Kakashi watched her, feeling that warm tingling sensation of chakra washing over him… And almost jumped out of his skin when Sakura's hands came against his stomach with an audible sharp skin-on-skin noise and she lowered her face to within eight inches of him, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.
"What?" He lifted himself up on his elbows, peering at her with his brow wrinkled.
She lifted her head, gaped at him, and looked at his stomach again.
"K-kakashi-sensei, you're pregnant…" She spluttered disbelievingly, her head shaking slightly from side to side. "A-about twenty-four weeks actually…"
He chuckled stupidly; "You're a terrible actor… Too much head movement."
She slowly turned to him, her eyes still impossibly wide, her face pale. "I'm serious."
Eighteen weeks later found Kakashi in the hospital waking up from surgery to a pink faced, shrieking infant with brown eyes and unruly silver ha—
Kakashi blinked up into the darkness of his bedroom ceiling, his breath coming in quick jerks. He was completely still for a long while, just taking in his surroundings.
He wasn't in the hospital. He was in his bed. The warm press of Iruka's back was to his left side, the wall to his right…
And his hands were tight against his own stomach, feeling the smooth flat stretch of flesh, not the solid bulge he was almost certain would be there.
He inhaled, the sound trembling, and his right hand slipped from beneath the blankets to cover his face. Startled when he encountered moisture leaking from both eyes.
Iruka shifted in his sleep mumbling something about onions, and Kakashi tried to control his breathing. Deepening it, slowing, feigning sleep so his lover didn't sense his distress and wake to find him crying over a stupid dream.
Stupid dream…
Kakashi rolled over, pressing his back against Iruka's, his arms twisted tightly around his middle, knees drawn up as he tried to forget, tried to squeeze out the phantom sensation of movement, of fullness.
Tried to ignore how hollow he felt when he realized it had only been a dream… And that if anyone knew he wished it hadn't been, they would think he was a freak. Think he was even more of a sick pervert than they already did.
He rubbed his face on his sleeve to dry it, pushed his face deeper into his pillow, and tried to go back to sleep.
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