AN: I have no excuse. I am just a terrible person. I know I haven't updated in a LONG time... longer than ever before! To be honest, I think this whole summer will be a season of slow updates. I had no idea! I thought that with no school, I would have more time... how is it possible I have LESS. -sigh- Well, at least I'm giving you SOMETHING right? RIGHT?

L POV

"I'm tired!" Light whined, stumbling behind me as I all but dragged him through the airport lobby. I cast a glance back at the troubled teen, snarky orders and rebukes at the tip of my tongue, only to turn away and slightly lesson the pace of our hasty departure. Though it pains me to admit it, even within the confines of my own mind, Light could have used some more sleep last night. I believe he was unconscious for just over three hours, and while this would be an egregious waste of time for me, Light's body needed more rest. This was more than his usual mindless, petty complaints. It didn't take a genius to know that Light was at his breaking point, both physically and emotionally.

His usually pristine hair was slightly duller than usual, and arranged in a haphazard disarray, his tawny skin seemed drained of color, he misbuttoned his shirt, his collar was partially popped, and his pants were wrinkled. Unforgivable atrocities in Light's book. I had half a mind to snap a picture of him and present it to him on one of his better days. I internally smirked at the thought. That would prove to be amusing. But alas, I cannot quite find it in myself to be so vindictive at the moment. Not when Light was sleep deprived, sick with worry for his father, and chained to me at a public airport. The very sight of him so distraught twisted my stomach with vicarious grief. With the exception of the handcuffs. His mortification is amusing.

"RYUUZAKI!" I almost forgot to turn my head in acknowledgement to the alias. Although, this action proved to be unnecessary when the owner of the voice collided with my chest.

"Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki!" After regaining my composure, I instinctively turned to Light to snap at him for his smug gait, only to find him just as dead to the world as before. Worrying.

"RYUUZAKI!"

"Yes, Mello?" I didn't even attempt to hide the vexation in my voice.

This was deemed a wasted effort, as the jubilant blonde continued to bounce around me, ignorant to my irritation. "WE'RE GOING TO JAPAN!"

"Yes, Mello. I am the one who arranged the excursion. I am aware where we are going."

"Sorry!" Matt gasped, staggering after his sprint. "I'm so sorry, L! I tried to stop him!"

I suppressed an eye-roll, not particularly in the mood for the duo's antics. "What did Mello do this time?"

"HEY!" The blonde in question cried.

"We went to Dunkin Donuts and... and... he just downed five large Dunkichinos!"

I took another look at the young chocoholic, who had apparently just consumed an unprecedented amount of a coffee chocolate mixture. Even for Mello, this level of caffeine seemed a bit too much to handle. The young teen had graduated from his hopping and now stood still, wide-eyed, and visibly quivering.

"Boys, I told you to entertain yourselves until Light-kun and myself had checked in the luggage," I lectured.

Matt shrugged. "Gave it my best shot," he replied in a tone that clearly indicated that he had not, in fact, given it his 'best shot,' and on top of that didn't care enough to hide this fact from me.

Mello suddenly plopped onto the floor, much like a spoiled child preparing to throw a loud and humiliating tantrum. "But Ryuuzaki!" He wailed. On second thought... Mello is a spoiled child preparing to throw a loud and humiliating tantrum.

"Sorry," Matt apologized once more. "He reverts to the state of a three year old when he has too much sugar and caffeine."

"SHUT UP MATT!" Mello screamed in an unnaturally high voice, and weakly banged his fists against his friend's leg. "Ryuuzaki!" Mello snapped his head up towards me not two seconds later.

He appeared to have the attention span of a goldfish. Or perhaps less, considering goldfish have an attention span of approximately three seconds...

"Why did you have to send Matt and me off when Near gets to stay here?" He pointed an accusing finger at the small white haired child currently constructing a building consisting of our luggage.

"Matt and I," Light instinctively chimed in. "Sugar intake is no excuse for bad grammar."

Mello sprung up, looking positively livid. "How dare you insult my intelligence you stupid-ass Japanese Ken doll! My grammar isn't bad, it's hindered! HINDERED!" He screamed, attracting many curious and slightly frightened glances and whispers. He once again turned to his best friend. "Right, Matt?" He whined.

Instead of answering, Matt shook his head in bemusement and grabbed the hyper one's wrist. He tugged him back into the throng of random travelers, calling over his shoulder, "We'll meet you at security in fifteen!"

After watching the duo clumsily scurry off, I turned back towards Light, who appeared, once again, to be engrossed in his own thoughts.

"Light-kun?" I questioned.

"Hm?" He jumped slightly.

"I will need to ask you not to insult Mello so freely, especially when his mental capacities are impaired."

"I can't help correcting his stupidity," he mumbled, returning his forlorn gaze to the floor. I frowned. Light was clearly in distress, and it was losing it's tinge of humor rapidly. I want to help him... but I'm doing all I can. The best thing to do right now is ensuring our safety by going back to Japan.

"Next!" An obnoxiously chipper voice called.

"Near, we will have to deconstruct your tower."

"Almost done..." He muttered.

"Next!" The voice called again, this time strained in it's good humor.

"Near..." I warned.

"I am incapable of lifting this bag that high," he lamented.

"Or for God's sake!" Light snapped. He grabbed a bag at random, effectively sending Near's hard work toppling, and marched up to the counter.

Mello POV

After half a lifetime of friendship, Matt still hadn't realized that coffee and chocolate doesn't actually get me hyper. Genius my ass.

"Mello!" He called in exasperation. "I'm tired! Stop running around!"

I internally smirked and bounced in place. "Aw! Matty! You're no fun!"

His cheeks swirled a deep rosy color at the sound of his nickname. Heh.

"We should go back now, Mello."

"Dunwanna!" I cried.

"Well I'm going to Japan!" He bluffed, crossing his arms dramatically. "Bye, Mello!" He swirled around and took two long strides.

"No!" I wailed, throwing my arms around him from behind.

He released a 'meep' of surprise and stumbled forwards, unable to accommodate my added weight. "U-uh, M-Mels," he stammered rather incoherently. I crept one arm up his torso and artfully brushed his wild hair away from his ears. Yup. His ears were flaming red. I allowed a wide toothy grin to stretch across my face. After all, Matt couldn't see me.

I leant forward slowly, until my lips hovered centimeters from his beet-red ear, and whispered, "Let's stay here, Matty. Just you and me..."

A shudder racked through his body. This was so much fun! Matt's already outlandish level of patience miraculously doubled whenever I ingested a significant level of caffeine.

"B-but... I-I... Japan. W-we're goin' to Japan," he choked out.

I can't say I remember when I began this practice, or how such a thing as feigning hyper-ness would ever occur without some masterful plan.

"Mels?" he squealed. Yes. Squealed.

This game seemed to get more interesting every time I played.

"WE'RE GOING TO JAPAN!" I bellowed in his ear, before sprinting towards security.

I stole a fleeting glance behind me to find, as predicted, a flustered Matt standing frozen in the middle of the bustling airport, his mind, body, and soul focused entirely on me. For someone as skilled at multitasking as Matt, that's a lot of attention.

I don't know how I first came up with this brilliant stunt, but I can't say I'm surprised. I am a fucking genius.

Near POV

I cannot say I am astounded at Matt and Mello's failure to arrive at security by the appointed time.

"Don't worry," L assured the despicable Japanese gay man and I, "I gave Matt and Mello their tickets in advance."

The fact that L had also predicted this eventuality sent a thrill down my spine.

"Excuse me," a large woman in a blue uniform dared to hold her chubby hand before L's face. "You will have to remove the handcuffs, sirs."

"I told you," the manicured man hissed. I fought to maintain my impassive gait. How dare these people disrespect L.

"I apologize, Ma'am," L's smooth tone held a barely detectable twinge of mockery. "But we cannot find the keys."

Although I myself was permitted to, I refrained from drudging through the metal detector, struck by childish, star-struck curiosity. The spontaneity of L's mind is a puzzle in itself, but the utter absurdity of his exploits and his ability to utilize logic in illogical circumstances is more than just an intricate puzzle. It's... appealing, and, dare I say... attractive. In the manner in which a proton may attract an electron, of course.

The woman wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I am afraid I cannot allow you to pass through security," she snapped.

To the untrained eye, L's owlish eyes seemed to be rolling in a natural and random manner. However, his eyes flickered three times to a certain point in the line behind us, indicating that he had been scanning the crowd for recourses, and had evidently found one. I turned to see if I could mimic the action.

The security line was full of impatient spectators. Business men tapping their feet in exasperation and groaning into their Blackberries and wide eyed parents shielding their children with poorly masked repulsion and condemnation were the most common patrons. However, one stood out. A petite woman watched the scene with keen interest and remarkable patience. Her hair was clumped into dreadlocks- an odd style for a Caucasian, and she sported an outdated frumpy outfit, consisting of clashing fabrics and patterns that vaguely resembled a rainbow. Despite her unimpressive attire, she held an air of quiet dignity, accentuated by her designer bag, her briefcase, and the blackberry dangling from her fingertips.

"You are not allowing this man to return home, nor are you allowing myself, an English, honest, paying customer to use your services," L addressed the security guard, though he angled himself slightly towards the peculiar woman. "And this is because of the style in which we travel. Correct?"

"Yes."

"Because you do not approve of such behavior?"

"Sir, the line needs to continue moving. If you'll please step aside-"

"How, do you suggest, we reach our destination?"

"If you would return without the ha-"

"If-" L cut her off, "we return, appearing to be what you consider 'acceptable,' you will grant us admittance. I understand," L allowed his face to visibly fall. "we have faced such challenges before..."

"This is disgusting!" a high soprano joined the argument. I didn't need to rotate my head twenty three degrees to the right to know both that it was the previously noted odd female spectator who had spoken, and that L had predicted this eventuality. "I refuse to stand here while you discriminate against others! What century is this?" She turned to address the crowd, who responded with ill-humored grumbles and snorts of repugnance. "You have a responsibility as a representative of the English government to accommodate the needs of theses two men."

"Ma'am..." the guard sighed, clearly at her last straw.

"I am the president of the British Board of Equality, and I demand you allow these men passage!"

My eyes widened and I inclined my head towards L imploringly. Was it possible that there is a hole in my knowledge of the world and of this nation? The slight twitch in the corner of L's mouth reassured me that such a thing was impossible. The woman happened to be quite resourceful.

The security guard was not as quick to recognize the bluff. "I-I apologize sirs, you may go right ahead."

L nodded and slouched through the electronic doorway, dragging a stunned and beat-red Light along with him. I trailed along behind, unnoticed by all.

"W-why?" Light croaked, unrecovered from his mortification.

L shrugged. "It amused me."

AN: I feel the need to apologize again. Both for the horribly long wait... and for the dissapointing chapter. :( I did the best I could! I'm actually REALLY depressed about this story now, which is ironic considering how happy and fluffy it is. I'm losing inspiration! I could REALLY use some reviews to give me a spark! Does anyone have any ideas for what Mello and Matt are up to? How about what will happen on the plane? Also, how did you guys like the shorter sections? I'm trying to mix things up a bit. :) I'd love your suggestions! ^^