T for language and themes. Making fun of MR very heavily... Disclaimed.

"MAAAAAX! MAX! OH MY GOD! MAAAX! OMG!"

Max's eyelids cracked open and she questioned Nudge's screaming angrily.

"I just got off the phone with your mom! She said global warming has gotten worse!"

"Oh no!" Max jumped out of bed immediately. "Not global warming!"

The door burst open and Iggy shouted from where he stood in the doorway, "did someone say 'Global Warming'?"

"Yes! We did," Nudge encouraged.

He rushed into the room, closing the door. "Global Warming is a horrid thing."

"Whatever shall we do," Max worried.

"You always have a plan," Angel announced as she came in behind Iggy.

"Yes! I do."

"I know," Gazzy called from the other room, "we never take showers again!"

Fang looked like he had been slapped in the face. "No. Silly Gazzy, showers are for bird kids."

"STOP STEALING OUR YOGURT!" Total growled angrily.

"Total, what have I told you, never speak again or I will drop you at hyperspeed from a trillion miles in the sky," Max threatened.

"I have wings dumbass."

Her eyes narrowed. "Not if you're zipped into a backpack."

"Maximum Ride, you must never speak to Total that way again," Angel commanded, "you do not hate him, you are in love with him."

"I thought she was in love with me," Fang was suddenly filled with jealous rage.

Max turned on Total, "oh doll, where have you been all my life?"

"AKILLLLAAAA!" Total squeaked as he ran from the room, Max chased him and Fang sat down, filled with teenage angst.

"Okay, I'm the leader now," Angel claimed happily. "Fang you must sing everything you say. Iggy you must make everything you say sound like a superhero. Gazzy you must speak like Yoda. And Nudge, you have to mime everything, no talking."

"Fuck no."

"FANGY WANGY, WAS THAT A PROFANITY?" Nudge screamed.

"Ha, wangy," Iggy snickered.

"SHUT UP IGGY!"

"Bitch," Iggy answered the six year old.

"What about Global Warming," Angel screamed at him, "what is calling me a bitch gonna do about Global Warming?"

Abruptly everyone was blown out of the room as the house exploded. In the explosion Nudge died.

Once they had regrouped they glanced back to the house where Gazzy stood in the rubble, "te-he." The green air was just dissipating.

Total ran passed with Max on his tail, "I am not a whore!"

Max scooped Total up and shoved him into her bag, spreading her wings she soared into the sky. In an attempt to save her beloved Akila jumped to fight, but she missed Max, and settled for ripping out Gazzy's throat.

Unaware of the carnage Fang announced he was leaving. Shortly afterward he was found handcuffed naked to his bed with multiple stab wounds in his chest and wings. His penis had been removed. All that was found at the scene of the crime was bunches of red hair.

Angel suddenly found herself in a fit of swears, "mother-fucking asshole! She ran toward Akila with a frying pan, and attacked the poor creature for killing her brother."

Iggy was stunned at hearing the dog whimper. "What the hell did you just do?"

"Shut up."

"No, bitch."

"Go touch yourself," she ordered.

"…I already did that today…twice."

"Ew. You're weird."

"It's only normal. But guess what?" Iggy extracted a needle from his coat pocket and jammed it into her arm. "You are going to get AIDs," he cheered happily.

"Dick for brains," she first slapped him in the face and then pulled a gun out of her ass. One the gun was aimed at him she shot him in the head. Iggy too was dead.

Angel crumpled into a ball. "I have AIDs. I have AIDs. I have AIDs." She expired.

Moments later Max landed in the yard without her backpack, she looked around curiously. "Where did everyone go."