I'm sorry this took ages. I've been on holiday and worrying about my AS exam results-but I got them today so at last I can stop wondering.
Merlin didn't venture outside the prince's chambers the next day. Or the day after that. Uther pounded unrelentingly on the door, and barked orders to 'do your duty as the future ruler of Camelot.' Gaius pleaded desperately, his frown lines deepening with every passing minute. By the end of the second day, they looked as if they had been carved into his face with a knife. By the third day Gaius was starting to get frantic. He ordered guards to break down the solid oak door, but they failed; it was a mark of the severity of the situation that Uther didn't even protest. Arthur avoided the room as much as possible and mostly stayed in Gaius' chambers. Only a slight tightening around his eyes gave away his inner turmoil.
He had no doubt that Merlin's shunning of society was his fault. He could hear Gwen's accusations clearly in his mind; they echoed over and over again, bouncing off the walls of his brain, until he was mad from guilt. What could he do? He knew it was his responsibility to fix this problem he had caused, but how? Was it even possible? He promptly cleared that thought from his mind. It had to be.
On the fourth day, Arthur helped Gaius with his rounds, wanting to feel useful, while his head spun with crazy ideas and plans. The least outrageous scheme the prince could think of was to climb up the ivy leading to Merlin's chambers, and drag the warlock out of the door in his sleep. The most bizarre involved bringing back an army of wraiths, and telling them the door was their mortal enemy. Arthur was completely absorbed, when a familiar voice jolted him out of his musing.
'Arthur, I need to talk to you.' The voice was a mixture of fury and desperation, and Arthur's stomach clenched uncomfortably. The prince spun around to face the maidservant with his arms folded defiantly, but he couldn't hide the worry in his eyes.
'I'm trying to think of something okay I know it's my fault but I'm trying to solve that now and I feel guilty enough without you lecturing me and-'
Gwen's expression cut him off; her eyebrows were in danger of disappearing off her face all together.
'What?'
'Stop blabbering and come with me,' Gwen said, her brown eyes softening and her pink lips curving up. Arthur's heart thudded at the sight of the first smile she had aimed at him, and he followed Gwen's bouncing curls down corridors and up stairs, while she explained her simple plan.
'You just need to talk to him. Tell him he's in no danger, and that you're sorry for being harsh when you now realise that it just made matters worse. Promise that you'll give him less work when he swaps you both back.'
'I wonder why I didn't think of this,' Arthur wondered aloud. 'It's simple, but brilliant.' Gwen's grin grew smug.
'You're obviously all brawn and no brains,' she giggled, while Arthur pouted. His expression only increased the volume of Gwen's sniggers. 'God,' she choked out between giggling fits. 'You look like a toddler.'
The sight of the oak door in front of them had the effect of a bucket of cold water in a blissful sleep. The seriousness of the situation dawned on both of them, making their grins evaporate into the musty air. Arthur looked nervously at Gwen, and walked towards the door, pausing to knock tentatively.
'Merlin? It's Arthur.' He paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. 'Look, I'm not going to punish you for magic. I should actually be thanking you for saving me with it.'
Arthur waited to see if Merlin would let him in, but he could hear no movement. 'I, um…I'm sorry for making you work so hard. I was angry at you for ignoring me. I realise I should have just given you time… I'll give you less work when we've swapped back.'
As Arthur was talking, he heard a bolt scrape against the wood. He exchanged a relieved look with Gwen, before twisting the door handle hesitantly, not sure of what to expect. As he ventured inside the room, followed by the maidservant, what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks. Gwen peered over Arthur's shoulder cautiously, and her brown eyes turned liquid with compassion.
'Oh, Merlin,' she cried, rushing towards the trembling figure. He was clinging to the wardrobe door as if to let go would be to tumble into oblivion. Arthur, suddenly rushing to his senses, hurried after Gwen.
'What have you done to yourself, Merlin?' he muttered quietly. His manservant, already slight, now looked so insubstantial Arthur was frightened to touch him in case he shattered. The shadows under his eyes looked like bruises, and his ashen complexion was covered with a sheen of sweat. It was obvious that he hadn't eaten for four days, but this was not the warlock's only ailment.
Some people say that all illnesses start in the mind. This is obviously complete nonsense. Do they really believe that people lay vomiting in bed by choice while their friends are out attending banquets or having snowball fights? Of course not! People have adopted this point of view because they like to blame others for the suffering in the world-namely the people who suffer.
However, it is true that some illnesses are born in people's consciousness. Somehow, the poison infecting the brain can spread throughout the body, and have the same effect as an illness caused by a failure of the immune system. The only difference is the patient's state of mind. Despondent patients welcome death; they say: here I am, rescue me from this torture, and death kindly complies. The other patients have hope, and believe their agony is worth the recovery that will follow. The real discrepancy is that pessimistic patients are already dead in their minds; they are just waiting for their heart to follow.
It was clear which kind of patient Merlin had been. His eyes looked lifeless, but a tiny spark of something had infused his clear blue orbs. Arthur was alarmed at how light the young warlock was while he carried him to Gaius; his manservant felt hardly heavier than a bag of grain in his muscular arms. He would have let Merlin walk, but feared that he may tumble over in his weakened state. As he entered Gaius' chambers, the icy look in the physician's eyes melted when he saw who Arthur was holding.
'Merlin!' he exclaimed, with a strange mixture of relief and worry, before leading the way to Merlin's chambers. Arthur laid the warlock down gently; he looked and felt awfully brittle.
Gaius left to fetch some food, which left Arthur and Gwen nothing to do but stare at their friend. He was shaking slightly, and Gwen pulled the blankets up to his chin. Merlin seemed unsettled by his being the centre of attention, and he examined the ceiling, a dull flush spreading down his thin face. After a few seconds he sighed softly, and turned to face two pairs of concerned eyes.
'I'm fine,' he insisted, the effect he wanted slightly spoilt by his croaky voice. Arthur snorted, and Gwen looked sceptical.
'You haven't been 'fine' for months now,' Arthur reminded his servant. 'I know I didn't exactly help the situation, but there's something else that's bothering you.'
Merlin nodded, looking resigned. 'When you got bitten by the Questing Beast I had to bargain with Nimueh.' He glanced up at his companions for their reactions, but their expressions were carefully neutral. 'Someone had to die for you to live. I bargained my life, but Nimueh took my…my mother's instead.' He heard a shocked gasp from Arthur, but Merlin closed his eyes and carried on. 'I went back to Nimueh to save her, but Gaius got there first. I thought he was dead so I killed Nimueh to save him. It turned out he was only unconscious, but it was too late for my mother…' He trailed off, lost in thought.
Gwen sniffed, tears sparkling on her long eyelashes. 'I'm so sorry, Merlin,' she murmured, hugging her friend tightly while Arthur stared on, at a loss for words.
The servant looked up at the prince, his clear blue orbs full of unshed tears. 'I'm sorry for being so distant, Arthur. None of this was your fault, but I partly blamed you for my mother's death after you got bitten and I can understand why you'd be angry-'
'Stop blabbering, Merlin. Of course I don't blame you for being upset; in fact I should thank you for saving my life.' He paused for a moment, staring intently at the young man. 'Thank you, and I am sorry about your mother.'
Feeling uncomfortable, the prince cleared his throat loudly and stood up, stretching. He did not like emotional displays; they made him feel awkward and unmanly.
'Well…I trust that you'll be back at work as soon as you're well; my chambers need cleaning, especially after you stayed in them.' Merlin smiled the cheeky grin that Arthur had missed.
'Of course, sire.'
Well…I suppose that's it. Please comment if you liked this and want me to write another fic (suggestions are welcome), and also if you hated it-I want to know how to improve! I'm sorry there wasn't any romance between Arthur and Gwen-I was going to put it in, but the story seemed to centre around Merlin and Arthur's (non-slash) relationship more. If there is a next time, I'll try to plan out the story beforehand so I know what's going to happen!