A/N: Okay, I'm seriously in the middle of writing up the next chapter for GWK, but this little idea just came to me, and I refuse to put it away until I'm done, even if it's only 500 words later. Last night, I came up with this brilliant SB drabble convo involving Chuck, and it completely disappeared by morning. Never again. Lol. Review!

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

She wished there was a bridge she could meet him at like the one they'd joined each other at in Paris. It had seemed like such a romantic setting, however heartbreaking the actual situation had been. Now, she longed for that again – not the heartbreak, but if that's as close as she could get to the setting they'd had before, she would take it. She missed Chuck. Saying she didn't would be the biggest lie in the world. They'd managed to become friends again, and she was incredibly relieved. Despite it basically being all up to her, the healing process had been moving far too slow and as time went on, it was almost as if someone else was controlling her, refusing to forgive the once love of her life. She was glad they'd finally reached that point. But it still wasn't enough.

The Brooklyn Bridge was not exactly the key place she'd expected herself to pick for their meeting. She was already wishing she hadn't arranged the meeting, but she didn't want to talk to anyone else, and she honestly thought that the conversation they'd partake in wouldn't have anything to do with their current relationship, just her problems.

"Hey." She heard his quiet voice just to the right of her, somehow breaking through the low hum of cars on the road a few feet behind them. She smiled weakly at him in response.

"Hey," she said. Slowly, he reached where she stood on the bridge and halted. She was facing away from the road, and just a few inches away from her hand on the handle, he braced himself, looking out into the oblivion of buildings at which she was staring.

"What's the problem?" he asked, not looking away from the looking blackness decorated with lights. She shrugged.

"Same old, same old, I guess." She shrugged. "I'm losing Serena to strange men and jobs that don't deserve her."

He nodded along, looking like he comprehended, or at least that he was listening. "What else?" he asked. She turned to him, knowing all along that he'd see through her surface frustrations to the heart of the matter.

"She's transferring to Brown in the spring."

He watched her eyes fill with tears, but somehow couldn't force himself to turn away. She was the first to look back out at the lit up buildings. He heard her sigh shakily and, taking a huge leap of faith, wrapped a couple of his fingers around her clenched ones closest in him.

"You'll be okay," he told her. She nodded, biting down on her lip to keep from sobbing. She hadn't realized how much Serena's departure was actually affecting her, especially with their current, constant battles. Last year it might have been different because she had been prepared for her best friend to go off to her own dream school. She also hadn't been fighting with her every other second. Their magical summer didn't help matters. She had scolded herself more than once about how she should have realized that was the calm before the storm.

"Things are going good at school, aren't they?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts. She nodded along.

"Yes," she said, restrained sobs evident in her voice. "I've got…" she laughed a little through her teary sighs, "minions again. Real ones."

He smirked, gazing over her features, glad that he could remind her of some small happiness.

"I'm popular again." She chuckled further, shaking her head in how ridiculous the words were in the midst of the nature of their conversation. She was breaking down over possibly losing her best friend. What did popularity matter when true bonds were at risk?

"And Nate?" he continued, "You've got him, don't you?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Not really. He's got some new fling on his arm 24/7. It's a little annoying to be honest. Even when you and I—" She broke off, realizing how far she'd gone. She gasped and looked to him a little frantic. He did not seem concerned in the least. She laughed a little nervously and clenched her fingers tighter on the bar. Throughout her hand gestures, she had lost the contact of his warm hand. "He's busy," she finished, eager to be done talking.

Chuck almost suggested that the reason Serena and Nate had gone so MIA was because they were heartbroken over each other, but he knew that wasn't the case. It had been several months since the beginning of summer, nearing the end of October. If the blondes had really wanted to make it work, they would have done it by now. Taking a break from each other was probably for the best.

"You've got me," he said quietly, almost afraid to say it. She turned to look at him, surprised.

"You're busy too," she responded. "With Eva," she said, before he could interrupt her. A wry smile covered his face.

"I'm not with her all the time," he told her, but he knew it was not with as much conviction as he needed to convince her. He knew what she was hinting at, but he was afraid to approach the topic of their past.

"You're still busy."

He nodded a little and gazed back out at the buildings as her eyes gazed down at their barely separated hands. He could feel her hand inching closer to his, but knew she wouldn't make the contact. She was still scared of this new them. She couldn't voice her thoughts. She didn't know entirely how to be herself around him. Her next shaky, breathless words expressed exactly those sentiments.

"I miss it."

If he hadn't known the precise words she was going to say, he wouldn't have heard anything even in his mind. It scared him how much he still knew her, despite how he was trying to change. He was learning the hard way that changing yourself in just 3 months was easier said than done. So much of him still ached to hold Blair in his arms. They hadn't even come back to that stage in their relationship. It was as if the damage he had done had destroyed their entire relationship, and was just very slowly being rebuilt. Chuck believed it was an understanding neither fully realized or wished to confirm.

"Blair—"

She cut him off, spinning towards him in single fast whirl. "I need you to tell me something."

He didn't look overly surprised by her statement and action, but he was caught off guard. "What is it?" he asked patiently. She saw the hint of passion in his eyes and wished she could unleash it again.

"If I forgave you…would you…" She lost her voice mid-sentence.

"No," he told her as gently as he could. She blinked back tears again and his heart clenched tightly inside him. It seemed no matter what he did, he was causing her pain.

"I still love you, Chuck," she said, letting the words sink in. It was a relief to say them out loud, but she was still tense waiting for his reaction. Unconsciously, he brought his hands to wrap around her own as he turned fully to her. Their fingers intertwined. She wondered if he knew. He seemed to be fighting intensely with something inside his mind. She thought she could almost see the combat in his eyes.

"No," he finally said, far too late to prove a point.

"Chuck," she said softly, yearning to bring her hand up to his face and gently stroke it. He held her hands firmly though, and she was forced to remain still. She gathered up her courage and continued. "I asked you here because despite of everything that's happened, you're the one who understands and knows how to fix everything."

"When I'm not the cause," he stated bluntly.

"Chuck…"

"No," he said again, trying desperately to keep her from fighting for him. He didn't deserve to be fought for, and if he did, it was with someone he hadn't hurt so horribly before. "You don't love me," he stressed.

"Chuck." She laughed, in disbelief that he was going to use that theory to push her away.

"You're in love with who I used to be," he said, his eyes intensely settled on hers. He saw as her face fell, and knew that she understood the point he was making. "That person is dead; gone," he continued when he was sure she wouldn't interrupt. "That person died the second he was shot trying to save what would have been your engagement ring…if he had not screwed up so horribly." Her eyes widened. He decided he'd dwell on later that she had not known the reason he'd ended up in the hospital with a hole running through his body.

"But Chuck," she pleaded. He couldn't believe his eyes wouldn't turn away from the flooding dark brown eyes that always stole his breath.

"No, Blair," he breathed roughly. "Please," he demanded, begging for her silence. She was taken aback, literally stepping away. He released her hands. She found herself looking away from him, all around but at him. She allowed herself one more glance at the man she knew she'd never get over.

"You do realize that you've erased all of it then, don't you?"

He looked at her still with that intent, understanding, listening gaze. She was starting to hate it.

"You're erasing our entire history by not even accepting what there is between us, or even what there was. You just can't live with it, so you decided to be born again at nineteen after some near death experience and live some half-ass life because you think being the real, amazing, granted somewhat immature, you is…is…"

He covered her mouth with his hand, needing to block out the teary rant she'd gone off of.

"Yes," he told her. "I don't want you to be hurt. If erasing my life is a way to do that, then I'll do it. The transition is obviously more painful than I'd anticipated, but—"

She ripped his hand away from her mouth. "No! It's more than painful, it'd life-threatening because I'm still here! I didn't die when you decided to start your life over. I'm still the same person. I've healed over from what you've done, but not from what you've become. I'll never get over that. Because, I love you. And erasing how much you hurt me is pretty much tearing me apart, taking half of me away and trampling all over it, because that's how much of you in me there is! You can't erase the made without erasing all of the good with it. I can't—I won't go through with that. Don't you see you're making everything worse by trying to step out of my life, or erase yourself all together?"

Her eyes were desperate, but his temper was rising. "Trying? I believe it was you who told me to never say anything to you ever again," he said, his tone carefully controlled.

"I was heartbroken after I'd learned what you'd done. But I just told you I forgave you. I always forgive you, Chuck, no matter what happens, and I hate that about myself, I hate it. But it's something I just can't help. Because I love you so much, I—"

She was cut off, almost stopped breathing when he stepped away from her, and just kept walking back. "I don't want to hurt you, Blair," he finally said. "The sooner you figure out that this way is the best way to avoid that, the better." He took a deep breath when she said nothing more. His shoulders relaxed and his voice softened. "Everything will be fine with Serena. She's just scared of losing you too. You should talk to her."

He turned and walked away, not even sparing her a second glance. She hated the whole confrontation. She knew then that she hadn't really been crying over Serena. Maybe a little, but the withheld tears that now were being let loose, had been from how much she'd lost with Chuck. He was being too brave for her, and it was ruining everything. The fact that all of this had happened because he'd been trying to save the engagement ring he'd intended to give to her made her feel incredibly guilty. She wondered if life would have been better for both of them if they'd never met, or the very least never fallen in love. The mere contemplation gave her deeper shudders of anguish and flooding tears harder and faster than had ever happened by something he'd just done, or even just the fact that he'd moved on with someone else.

"Chuck!" she called out, hopeful that he hadn't left entirely. She noticed on the far end of the bridge, just barely visible in the darkness of the night, a figure halted and then turned to her. She gasped in surprise and a sudden bubbling over happiness. She ran towards him, straight into his arms, before he could say another word. As if instinct, his arms wrapped tightly around her. She did not dare try to kiss him – wouldn't make him cheat; would be so ashamed if she achieved, even if she wanted him to herself.

He said nothing. Just held her in his arms. Hot, silent tears poured out of her tightly closed eyelids and down her cheeks, some of them dripping onto his skin and sinking into his shirt.

"Thank-you," she cried out, her voice muffled against his skin. Chuck chose to believe she'd accepted his decision to them starting over as anything in the social realm. She was obviously thanking him for letting her move them along to the next stage in their comfort towards one another, he thought. Hugging was finally allowed. His mind nagged at him that that was so obviously not the truth, but he wanted to arrive home without feeling guilty about hurting Blair. Her gratitude in show of her arms wrapped around his neck did exactly that, no matter the actual cause. The possibility that maybe he should be feeling guilty about a little emotional unfaithfulness to his girlfriend went in one ear and out the other.

"God, Blair…" he finally sighed against her. The shivers running through her at the sound of his sexy, growling voice against her neck thrilled him to no end. It was as if for one sole moment they had gone back in time to their reunion at the beginning of the summer, and he hadn't screwed it all over, sealing their fate forever.

She didn't release him for a very long time. He had no trouble holding on, allowing himself a single friendly kiss on the cheek when she finally departed his limo an hour later.

A/N: Assume what you wish. ;) Please review. =)