Chapter 5 – Purple Elephant
Emma had been standing in front of Will's apartment for a good 10 minutes before finally gathering the courage to knock. The door opened with a jolt and Will was standing before looking radiant and dapping at the same time. His face lit up when he saw her and he said a breathy: "Hi" before leaning in to kiss her.
"No time for that, Emma said walking passed him. We've got business to attend to."
She stopped in his living room and pulled out some papers from her bad. Will, confused, shut the door and walked over to her. She handed him the papers and stood up straight, like a sergeant general.
"This is a color coded index of the activities that are and are not permitted this evening. The items highlighted with green are permissible. Yellow items are not on the menu. And red items will result in me pressing charges against you and consequently, your registration as a sex offender in all 50 states."
Will stared at the list, mouth agape, wondering when did she have time to compile it. And of course, what had he gotten himself into.
"Please take the time to familiarize yourself with the index. After about 10 minutes of studying it I will pop quiz you on your personal hygiene"
Will continued to stare, silently, his mind racing. He didn't even recognize half the stuff listed there. All of a sudden, Emma swiped the papers from his hand and when he looked up to look at her she was grinning. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and whispered:
"Hi"
"You were… kidding?" he asked holding his breath.
"Yes, I was kidding. But it was fun to watch you squirm"
Will let out a huge sigh of relief and took her face in his hands kissing her thoroughly.
"Oh thank God. I haven't felt so unprepared since my chemistry final in highschool. I thought you were going to throw the book at me."
"Well, I wasn't kidding about the items in red though… just so you know"
"Please, he said taking the list and looking over it again. I don't even know what a Dirty Sanchez is."
He plopped himself down on his couch and continued his sexual education by skimming through Emma's carefully compiled list of perversities.
"It's something that made me seriously consider joining a monastery" she joked and sat down beside him.
"So let me get this straight. You spent all day… researching sexual positions?"
"Well I had to do something. And it wasn't all day. Only after Figgins brought Puck to my office because he found pornographic movies in his locker."
"Really? What did you do?"
"I said they were for me."
Will's eyes nearly popped out of his head with surprise and he started to laugh. Emma blushed and continued.
"Only to help him out! I told him to tell you about it."
"Well he didn't, Will confessed after catching his breath and wiping tears from his eyes. But even if he did, I wouldn't have punished him. I would be to busy imagining you watching a porn movie"
Emma's cheeks turned even redder as she sensed that Will was making fun of her insecurities in the sexual department. She lowered her eyes and Will realized he embarrassed her. Which he really didn't want to do tonight, she was probably feeling incredibly awkward already.
"Emma, I didn't mea…"
"So was Terri your first?" Emma quickly asked, desperate to change the subject.
"Ah, Will paused, trying to figure out where this was going. Ah… no."
"Second?"
An awkward silence fell in the room, as Will turned his eyes from Emma and seemed to be counting in his head.
"Third?" Emma offered, feeling a tiny prickle of panic squeeze her insides.
"Well I smoked a lot of pot in college. We could be talking double digits." Will offered apologetically.
"Will!' Emma jabbed her finger in one of his ribs.
"Ow" he winced, half laughing.
"I'm serious!"
"Third, he finally answered truthfully. She was my third"
Emma swallowed hard before asking her next question.
"And… what did you usually do together? In bed I mean."
Now it was Will's turn to blush. He felt very uneasy talking about this stuff with Emma, simply because he didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"Will, if we can't talk about it… we aren't really ready to do it, are we?"
"You're right, he agreed clasping her hand with both of his. Uhm… Mostly standard missionary position. Definitely none of the red items! We'd take baths together. Terri was a big fan of routine. And sitting. Nothing to strenuous. She didn't like to sweat."
Emma quietly took all of this in.
"And… was it good. With Terri?"
Will shut his eyes as memories flooded his mind. His mouth went dry and he felt a pang of hurt, but quickly pushed it aside.
"When we were in love. I mean really in love... it was great."
Emma wanted to ask him if they were in love, but knew that it was too soon. She then noticed a strange smile on his lips.
"What?"
"What? Oh… it's just. He chuckled and then looked her straight in the eyes. I thought about you a couple of times you know."
"Thought about me? When you were… with her?"
"Yes."
"Like that?"
"No, when we were doing laundry. Yes. I thought about you when I was with Terri. Like that."
"Ohhh…"
"I felt terrible about it, Will explained. I mean, here I was with the mother of my soon to be nonexistent child. It felt like I was cheating on her. But… I couldn't help it."
Emma listened utterly fascinated to his confession, her big eyes tingling with excitement. The instances in which she felt sexually excited in her life, had been few and far between. And she felt certain she was just confusing lust with hunger or the need to go pee. But this time Emma was certain. This is what being turned on actually felt like.
Will noticed her conflicting emotions and blessed his lucky stars he finally said something to get her into the mood. Knowing Emma like he did, if she was indeed turned on, any second now she'd excuse herself to go to the bathroom.
"Can you excuse me while I go to the bathroom?"
Right on cue, Will thought
"Sure"
"You wait for me in the bedroom, she said getting up heading towards the bathroom. And… think sex-ay thoughts. Of the green highlighted variety…."
Will chuckled and as soon as she was out of sight entered his bedroom. He would never know what a huge mistake he made letting Emma get away and have time to think about what was going to happen. Cause as soon as she was behind a closed door… Panic replaced arousal.
So here was Emma in Will's bathroom, in her purple night gown, ready to slaughter the pink panda, elephant, random mammal that represented her virginity that week. She stared long and hard in the mirror, and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the muffled sound of music from Will's bedroom. He selected Madonna's Like a virgin as a soundtrack for their love making. Her head swirled from all the questions that were creating a taifun of doubt and anxiety.
Is it going to hurt? If so how much? How long will it last? I don't have any condoms! Does he have condoms? How safe are those things? What if I'm allergic to latex? How big… is he? How big am I... down there? What if there's no room? I don't have any lubricant on me. Does he have lubricant? What is lubricant made of anyway? What if I'm allergic to it? And above all… AM I REALLY GOING TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO MADONNA!
Emma whimpered and turned around because she couldn't look herself in the mirror anymore. She felt she couldn't breathe, like she was trapped, like she was doomed. Because she was about to lose something that made her special. If she would've been brutally honest with herself, she would've admitted that she wasn't doing this for herself. She was doing it for Will, so that he wouldn't leave her. She had backed herself into a corner out of fear.
"What do I do?" she whispered to herself.
Right at that moment Madonna, with the voice of a horny angel, sang out: "Only love can last…"
That's right. That's right. I just can't go through with this. If Will loves… has strong feelings for me. He'll understand. Only love can last. With her mind made up, and before she could lose her nerve, she grabbed her stuff, minus the shoes, and sneaked out of Will's apartment.
AN: I had fun with this one too. I guess everybody who worships at the altar of Wemma has their own version of what happened that night in Will's apartment. This is simply mine. Hope you liked it! Oh, and let me know if I'm pushing the rating to far. There won't be any graphic sex in this fic, but by this point it's obvious that I do talk about sexuality and mention stuff like flickin the bean and lubricant. :) I hope that's not against the rules. Next up: Analyze that elephant
AN 2: If you didn't know what a Dirty Sanchez is and looked for the meaning after reading about it here, I am really really really sorry to have ruined your innocence.