Chapter 8: Teh Pirates Who Don't Do Nothin'
"AAAAAAAAH!" we shouted as the whole swarm of Space Pirates descended upon us. It didn't help that we were standing on the highest platform and were closest to the ceiling where they just burst in. But they didn't land on us; they surrounded us on the edges of our platform. Immediately, Big Amy, Chikorita, and Grovyle bunched up in the middle facing different directions, trapping me in the center. The Space Pirates grinned evilly at us and each activated some sort of weird puck-like devices. I wondered if they were flares or bombs or whatever.
"You ready to fight?" Grovyle whispered to us.
"Yeah!" shouted Big Amy and Chikorita.
"Uuuh…um…" I stammered. Fight? FIGHT? I never got past yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do thanks to that one full-contact sparring incident. I was 12 at the time and finally realized that I couldn't fool myself into thinking I could be a kick-butt fighter girl when I clearly didn't have the skills or the personality to do so. But three years (I started when I was 9) of practice allowed me to remember a few things. I lowered my center of gravity via the horse stance and brought my fists up, facing a random direction that the three of them weren't. I still remembered basic punching, and kicks such as the jump kick, the axe kick, and the roundhouse kick, but to be honest, I wasn't sure how effective they would be against the Space Pirates' futuristic weaponry.
"Capture dem," ordered the tallest of them.
Mr. Referee came out of nowhere again and announced, "Then it's agreed! Metafighters ready? ROBATTLE!" I wanted to protest that it wasn't a Robattle at all, but the official Robattle music started playing again and cut me off.
Suddenly, Team Pyro, Team Hydro, and Team Electro fried, froze, and electrocuted the Space Pirates around us, respectively. But more started pouring in. "Hey, guys! Jump off!" shouted Cassie.
Big Amy, Chikorita, and Grovyle had no problem with that. But me? "I-I can't! It's too high up!" I shouted. After all, we were only a mere 120 feet up in the air. No way I could've jumped without breaking something.
Grovyle just slapped his face in exasperation, but Charizard volunteered, "I'll help." He flew up to my level and let me climb on, just barely evading a Space Pirate slashing at me. The guy tried to follow, but Charizard fried him for his efforts. I held on as hard as I could as he quickly descended to the ground. Yikes. No wonder I didn't like roller coasters—that falling feeling was almost too much for me to handle. I jumped off as soon as we reached the ground. "Thanks!" I shouted, racing to my friends.
"No problem! Look out for yourself, okay?" he said. He then let Alex jump on before taking off into the air to fry more Space Pirates. Wow. It was obvious that Alex had way more experience flying on Charizard. He could've been a fighter pilot in-training for all I knew.
As for the audience members, I was surprised to hear not as much screaming as I was expecting; turns out, they were exiting quickly and efficiently. Within 5 minutes of the battle, all of them had evacuated safely thanks to the easy exit design of the stands. On the ground, Team Hydro, Team Electro, Infernape, and Typhlosion were all fighting Space Pirates, but the greatest concentration was around us. I could only watch in awe as Grovyle used Leaf Blade to take down a whole row of them, and Chikorita's Vine Whip tripped one backwards, leading the ones behind the guy to fall like dominoes. Finally, I had to cover my ears whenever Big Amy unleashed one of her Hyper Voices. That YOOM…TAH really was loud, but defeated more than either of my teammates combined. And me? I just held Big Amy as a Hyper Voice shield and did my best not to get hit by a stray laser.
"Little Amy! Why aren't you fighting?" she shouted.
"I-I can't! Humans—I mean, mind-reading aliens aren't good at this stuff at all!" I replied. As a laser blasted a chunk of concrete right next to be, I realized the whole situation felt exactly like those times in P.E. class when all 40 or so classmates of mine were smacking volleyballs all over the gym. No place to run; no place to hide; I had no choice but to stay there rooted in despair, hoping not to get hit in the skull until it was over. But this time, it was 100 times worse. The volleyballs this time were deadly lasers that blew holes in the stadium; the players were Space Pirates who didn't even try to avoid hitting innocent bystanders. And there was almost no chance of survival if even one laser hit its mark.
Right before a full-scale panic attack could hit me, there was a break in the action. The tall, thin one and the short, fat one jumped down from the ceiling, landed on the platform, jumped down from it, and landed right in front of us, sniggering and chuckling. They looked like the leaders of this whole operation. I was going to say something, but Grovyle was quicker.
"Who are you? What do you want?" he shouted.
"Whoa-ho! Simple. Wii gonna pwn u n00bs!" announced the tall, thin one.
"& bring u 2 teh Boss-Man. He needz u 4 som'thin," concluded the short, fat one.
Big Amy and Chikorita totally freaked out. "AAAAAH! The meanie-butts!"
"The meanie-butts?" I gasped. "Wait—what are they doing here?"
Grovyle asked, "The meanie-butts? You mean Team Skull? These guys aren't them. Last time I saw Team Skull, Wigglytuff and I socked them in Brine Cave."
"Dat's right! I dunno who dis Team Skull is, but whut I know iz Wii way more l33t-er den dem! LOL!" bragged the tall, thin guy. They continued laughing.
"& Wii r—oh w8! Here she comes!"
We looked up. Turned out it was just right then that Samus' purple ship came in. For a second, I thought she was going to crash-land, but right when the ship was about 10 feet away, she made the ship slow down enough to land safely. Wow. She had amazing reflexes. What was even more amazing was how she swerved to avoid the giant platform. But she didn't come out the usual elevator way. She opened a secret hatch out of the ship's ceiling and leapt out, performing a perfect spin jump. She somersaulted in the air so many times that if I were to try it, I'd become hopelessly disoriented by the fifth spin. She landed in front of us and faced the meanie-butts.
"Samus—I mean, Ms. Aran! What are you doing here?" I asked in total disbelief.
"Yeah, weren't you going to leave us here forever?" asked Chikorita.
She glared, silencing us. "Plans change," she answered curtly.
The meanie-butts started laughing again. Zark taunted, "Ha-ha, u slow! Did sum1 haxor yer Speed Booster again? [LMAO]"
"Yeh! Wii were gonna pwn dem 4 u. So y r u here? w8, w8, don't tell me. Now dat yer a has-been-famous-but-now-n00bish-accursed-hunter, dey made u babysit n00bs! HA! Babysitting! LOLOLOLOLOL!"
Samus shot several power beam attacks at them, but no use. Their hexagonal reflector shields (which I'm sure they ripped off from Fox McCloud) just bounced the shots right back at her. It might've hurt, but she didn't fall down. I whispered, "Wait. What do they mean, they're gonna…pwn…us for you?"
She glared at me and muttered, "That's what you're going to tell me when we're through with this." I just stared in confusion. What was going on in here?
Grovyle glared even harder. I guessed that seeing how hurt Big Amy and Chikorita were was starting to affect him, and it took all his effort to restrain himself from using Leaf Blade on the meanie-butts. He growled, "You punks still haven't answered my question. Who are you?"
Finally, they stopped laughing enough to speak. "Whoa-ho! I'm Zark!" said the tall, thin guy.
"I'm Zork!" said the short, fat guy.
"& boys? Time 4 teh l33t theme song!" shouted Zark.
Some other Space Pirates suddenly cut the Robattle music off. They pulled out random instruments and started playing. Zark and Zork activated their jetpacks and flew up to the high platform. They then broke into song and dance. Specifically, the can-can dance. Let me put it this way; it looks good if a human performs said dance, but Space Pirates? Let's just say that I didn't know whether it was hilarious or disturbing.
Wii r teh pirates who don't do nothin'…
Wii just stay home, & lie around!
& if u ask us 2 do nothin'…
Wii just tell u… [dramatic pause] …Wii don't do nothin'!
"Hey, wait a second," I whispered. "They're getting it all wrong. That song is called The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, and they're ripping it off of Veggietales—OW!"
Zark apparently shot a laser right next to me, causing the ground to explode right there, and the debris hit my leg. I was stunned. How could he hear my whispering? "Hey, shut up!" He continued,
Weeeell, I've never hoisted a mainstay & I've never swabbed teh poop deck
& I've never veered teh starboard 'cause I've never driven at all,
& I've never walked teh gangplank & I've never pwned dem parrots
& I've never robbed a Gaijin City mall!
[Both of them] Wii r teh pirates who don't do nothin'…
Wii just stay home, & lie around!
& if u ask us 2 do nothin'…
Wii just tell u… [dramatic pause] …Wii don't do nothin'!
[Zork's part] &…I've…never plucked a rooster & I'm not 2 l33t ping-pong
& I've never thrown mah mashed potatoes up against a wall,
& I've never pwned a chipmunk & I've never scored sum' bling-bling,
& I've never robbed a Gaijin City mall!
[Both of them] Wii r teh pirates who don't do nothin'…
Wii just stay home, & lie around!
& if u ask us 2 do nothin'…
Wii just tell u… [dramatic pause] …Wii don't do nothin'!
At the end of the song, they posed as their fellow pirates shot fireworks from behind. Samus, Team Pyro, Team Hydro, Team Electro, Grovyle, Chikorita, Big Amy, and I just stood there, staring in complete confusion and disbelief. Since when do Space Pirates break into song and dance? Aren't they supposed to be, like, sadistic space killers? What disturbed me the most was how their voices were in perfect pitch. I wondered if someone taught them, and if so, who. On the side, I heard Raichu snicker under his breath, "They are doing something right now. They're standing there looking like total idiots."
Mr. Referee tapped them on the shoulder. "Uh, this is a Robattle, not American Idol—"
"Yer not teh Boss-Man of me, ol' timer!" shouted Zark. And he kicked the referee off the platform! Luckily, Charizard caught him in time.
"Dat's right! Now remember dis—Wii r 2 l33t 4 teh rulez!" agreed Zork.
Mr. Referee became really angry…His eyes almost glowed yellow as he growled, "Break the rules, will you? Attacking the referee is against Robattle Regulation 35, and violators will receive punishment of the highest degree!"
"Like whut?" asked Zark contemptuously.
"Oooo…Wii scaaared!" taunted Zork. The two of them started laughing.
High above in orbit around Capital Planet is a satellite with a long, rod-shaped device attached to its end. It charges up a powerful beam attack as Mr. Referee explains its purpose to everyone in the stadium.
Mr. Referee: Rule-breakers like you force the Robattle Rules Committee to take drastic action! We've built a special satellite called Penalty Box and launched it into space! This orbiting defense mechanism helps me, Mr. Referee, administer swift, brutal justice to violent punks like you! Hahaha! Don't say I didn't warn you.
Finally, the Penalty Box fully charges up and fires its laser to the Pokéathlon Contest Stadium below in Gaijin City. This is a smart laser—it expertly dodges all obstacles like space debris, flying cars, and even people in order to arrive at its intended location.
Imaginary SFX: I'm-a FIRIN' MAH LASER!
Even after Mr. Referee's threatening speech, the meanie-butts continued to laugh like crazy from their high-up platform. Didn't their voices ever get tired? Jeez, I could swear they were going to die laughing at that rate. But more importantly…I remembered that Mr. Referee acted the exact same way during one random episode of Medabots, not an episode from the Saturday morning cartoons I was used to watching, but a filler episode from Youtube. I knew what would happen next; in a few seconds, a tranquilizer dart would stab the meanie-butts right in the neck, and they would realize their mistake. Everyone else, obviously, had no idea what would happen next and so looked at Mr. Referee like he was crazy.
As it turned out, my prediction was completely off.
KA-BLOOIE! Instead of a tranquilizer dart, it was huge laser. It hit the meanie-butts on the platform square on, and sent them flying into the air all the way into the stratosphere, just like Team Rocket. I'm serious, it sounded exactly like this: Wheeeeeeee…ding!
Stunned silence. We all stepped back from Mr. Referee in total awe. Some of the remaining Space Pirates in the stadium finally seemed to snap out of it. All they could say was, "Whut…teh heck…?"
"And you all should remember this, too! Don't mess with me, Mr. Referee!"
They all skedaddled out of the stadium. Most of them activated their jetpacks and flew out of there, but some just preferred to run for it. I guessed that their ships were waiting for them outside. One of them even had the temerity to retort, "Oh yeh? Oh yeh! Well…*mommy*…" but left it at that.
We were still stunned. "Satellite, huh?" said Electivire.
"So that's what it is…Note to self: Don't mess with satellites," noted Chikorita.
"Good to know," agreed Amy.
"Uh, yeah…thanks," I said to Mr. Referree.
He grinned and gave us all a thumbs-up before chasing after the retreating Space Pirates. We stood there, frozen in disbelief for a long time, before the ludicrousness of the situation finally hit us. (The sheer number of cultural references probably had something to do with it.) Once Big Amy and I doubled over in laughter, everyone soon followed suit. Maybe even Samus, for all I knew.
All three teams were amazed beyond belief when they found that the super-famous bounty hunter Samus Aran knew us, but I had to wave off their questions with, "It's a long story." At that point, she growled to us, "Get in the ship. Now." What could we do? We had no choice. We went on ahead while Samus stayed behind to convince the three teams to go back home (maybe she bribed them with autographs or something). At least we were able to quickly duck back into the contestants' room to grab our backpacks while she was distracted.
The moment we arrived in the cockpit, Adam sputtered in disbelief, "Amy Purima? What the heck happened to you?"
She shot, "Oh yeah. No one told me how nasty being a human would be, so I turned back. So there!"
"I don't understand…is the DNA restoration device…defective?" he stammered.
None of us could come to any conclusion, so we just sat there silently. Even I had no idea how such a device could possibly be faulty. Finally, through the window, as we saw Samus coming back to the ship, Chikorita broke the silence. "S-so why do you think Ms. Aran is mad at us?"
"I have no idea…" I replied. My teeth were chattering too. I really had no idea, either. Honest. I mean, just two seconds ago, I was scared to death that I'd be vaporized. Then a second later, we were practically laughing our heads off from the ludicrousness of Teh Pirates Who Don't Do Nothin'. Now we were scared to death again wondering why in the world Samus was so angry. Why did she even bother finding us again, anyway? Arrgh. I swear, if those mood swings kept up, I was going to act like a real teenager before long. Yikes. I wasn't sure if I was ready to let that happen yet.
"What do your storytelling instincts say?" asked Big Amy.
"That there are way too many changes in tone for this to be an actual story," I replied.
"I mean, what do your storytelling instincts say about why Samus is mad?"
"Hmm…" I thought. "She said that her plans changed. Maybe something happened at headquarters—?"
The elevator came down, interrupting me, and a few seconds later, it came back up with a silent yet really ticked-off Samus. She quickly walked up to Adam's monitor and snapped at us, "Hand over your passports!"
Without a word, we did.
We watched as she typed out some commands on the console and made a card reader appear. She swiped our passports through them, and some numbers appeared on the screen. As we saw how the numbers were changing in relation to our passport pictures, even the three Pokémon could tell that Samus was transferring 90% of all our money into her account, leaving us with about 1,000 credits each…again. "HEY!" we all shouted at once.
"What's the meaning of this?" demanded Grovyle.
"Give it back! That's our money!" shouted Chikorita.
"And we worked so…hard for it…" sobbed Big Amy. So did I, more or less.
She didn't respond; instead, without warning, she threw our passports back at us. Then she said, in a really cold voice, "Okay. Explain yourselves."
"HUH?" was all we could say.
"Don't play dumb! There must be a reason the Space Pirates want you so badly—reason enough for High Command to fire me and replace me with those—Zark and Zork creeps!"
"WHAT? They fired you?" I exclaimed in dismay.
"The meanie-butts replaced you?" shouted Big Amy and Chikorita at once.
She glared at us coldly, getting really impatient. "Yes…and my career was as precarious as it was…until you four stowed away and got me fired!"
"Us? No way…" I paled. A million thoughts flew threw my head, but mostly those of wondering how the heck it was our fault they fired her.
Chikorita piped up, "But you didn't have to be like meanie Chatot and take all of our—!"
Samus interrupted her. "And because it's your fault that I'm fired, don't you think it makes some sense for you to pay back what you owe? There has to be something dangerous about you guys, and you know it! Now what is it?" she fumed.
We just sat there, at a loss for words. Even the usually steely-focused Grovyle had trouble formulating an answer. "I'm sorry, Samus…I honestly can't think of any reason—"
She practically exploded as she shouted, "Maybe THIS will refresh your memory!" She slammed her left non-arm cannon hand on the monitor, bringing up a data file. It was Amy Vee Purima's, and there was a particular line that was highlighted. I gasped. "No way!"
"Ah-HA! You DO know something!" said Samus.
Big Amy, Chikorita, and Grovyle turned to face me in confusion (or was it dismay?). "What? What's it say?" asked Chikorita.
Samus explained for me. "It says here that your friend Amy Purima died on August 23, 2499. This is the year 2510. Now explain to me why she is still standing here today!" she demanded, pointing at Big Amy.
We were completely speechless.
Except for Chikorita. She shouted, "Amy? You're a g-g-g-g-g—g-g-g-g-g-GHOST?"
"No, Chikorita, I'm not! I can't be…I just…can't…" she argued, but trailed off weakly and looked at herself more carefully, wondering if maybe it was true.
"How come even YOU don't know?" accused Samus.
"I thought I told you! I lost my memory two years ago! I don't remember a thing!" she replied.
Grovyle did his best to come up with an answer. "N-no…that's wrong…we might've changed history, but she never died. I saw to that. So…how…? Maybe the record's wrong…" He trailed off weakly, looking really pained.
Samus shook her head and snorted, "Faulty memories…changing history…ghosts…you creatures come up with some pretty implausible explanations. But your accusation of the records being wrong is the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard! The Galactic Federation runs the record itself! It is flawless! It has a 100% success rate when cross-referenced!" She glared at Big Amy. "But that's beside the point. The point is, the evidence is undeniable. The Space Pirates are after Puffball Girl here. Now give me one good reason I shouldn't hand her over to them and get my job back!" she shouted, reaching for her as quick as lighting.
"NO!" shouted Grovyle and Chikorita, using Leaf Blade and Headbutt to smack Samus back into the monitor.
"H-hey, no fighting in the ship!" Adam tried to assert.
They didn't listen. They continued fighting each other, and I could only watch in dismay, hoping not to get caught in the crossfire.
Adam took a deep breath and shouted, as loud as he could, "I said NO FIGHTING!"
The volume of his voice finally made them stop. Seizing the pause in the action, Adam went into full Galactic Federation superior officer mode as he continued, "Now listen up! Samus, I'm still your superior officer. And Chikorita, Grovyle, and both of you Amys; I have seniority, so that makes me your superior officer too. And so help me, you will all answer to me when I say, NO FIGHTING!"
Reluctantly, they stopped fighting and glared at each other from opposite sides of the room. The standoff was intense. I could feel the thick-as-blood tension in the air. I knew I had to say something, or they would not only ignore Adam again, they fight each other to the death. Finally, it clicked in my head. I remembered how I wrote the same thing happening to Kana in the last chapter of The Heroes of Time. I had no choice. I had to reveal everything I knew.
Chikorita glanced at the amount of money left on her passport and huffed, "Meanie Chatot…"
That did it. Even if Samus had no idea who this meanie Chatot person was, the contemptuous tone of Chikorita's voice was enough to set her off. Right as she started to charge at Chikorita, I stood up, ran in-between them, and shouted, "Guys, STOP! I-I think I can explain!"
Samus stopped and lowered her arm cannon. "Okay, kid. Start talking. We're all ears."
I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing… "It's all because my friends here changed history. In the original timeline, the G.F.S. Axiatomic Link abandoned Amy Purima and her family on Planet Portania on that exact day, August 23, 2499. Only, it wasn't Planet Portania as we know it now. It was a paralyzed planet. Nothing moved, and it was always dark, so the Axiatomic Link's captain, AUTO, thought it was a good place to abandon them, all because messing with time was against regulations. But now that my friends here changed history, they prevented Planet Portania from ever being paralyzed. So when her parents broke the rules again, in this timeframe, AUTO couldn't use Planet Portania today. It's too alive and such. So he dumped them all on a random asteroid…where all three, or maybe seven, of them died from suffocation…on the August 23, 2499 of today!"
Everyone stared at me in shock. I shut my eyes. Now they knew just how much I knew.
"Interesting…" said Samus.
Grovyle was furious. "How…in the world…do you dare know so much…you filthy HUMAN?" I flinched, terrified that he'd vent his anger out on me.
"She's a mind-reading alien! She can read minds!" Chikorita piped up. I nodded in earnest, hoping that would work.
It didn't. Grovyle patted Chikorita's head and explained, to my dismay, "Chikorita…I know humans. I've known our Amy all my life. And I know her well enough to say, for a fact…that humans cannot read minds any more than us Grass Pokémon can breathe fire!"
"What? REALLY?" shouted Big Amy.
"Little Amy…is that true?" whispered Chikorita.
I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away. "…y…yeah…" I whimpered. My heart was pounding so furiously, I wished I could disappear, run away, and never come back.
Grovyle seized my shoulders. "Look at me when I'm talking to you! You still haven't answered my question. How do you know so much about us?" he hissed.
I hated it whenever someone said that to me. That was the hardest obstacle I had to overcome when I was 12, and even today, it was still relatively hard to do. It took all my might to look into his eyes without breaking down. I had no idea his eyes could look so…lizard-like, so heart-stoppingly terrifying. How was I going to explain it in a way that made sense? Finally, I remembered; the video games I happened to pack along in my backpack. I unzipped it, took out my pink Nintendo DS Lite, inserted the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky game card in it, and handed it over to him. "Here. Play this," I said, squeezing my eyes shut in shame.
I had to teach him how to operate it and play Special Episode #5, but other than that, all I could do was sit back and wait. I heard him say things like, "This is exactly what happened to me when…!" and, "Ew. No way. I never said anything that cheesy," but otherwise, he was oddly quiet. Big Amy and Chikorita, however, kept pestering me with questions, like why there was a Skitty instead of a Jigglypuff as the main character. Samus and Adam just watched such primitive technology with wonder, especially my Game Boy Advance game Metroid Fusion.
Finally, Grovyle finished his analysis. "Okay…now explain why the heck we all appear in this magical electric device, human."
By that time, I finally figured out what to say. "Where I come from, you guys, Pokémon, Ms. Aran and Mr. Malkovich—everyone here—only exist in these video games. Wait—Zoroark! I must be in another dimension right now. He must've pulled me in as Palkia! 'Cause I noticed…ever since Samus' ship landed on the soccer field of my elementary school, everything I've always thought of as fiction suddenly became real…I kept thinking it was all a dream, or maybe I've died…but this is no dream. I can feel it. Now I'm here, stuck in this place that happens to be exactly like all the video games I've ever played…and maybe I really should find a way out…"
"Who's Zoroark?" asked Chikorita.
"He's a Dark-type shape-shifter Pokémon of some sort. He's so new, even I don't know much about him. But I do know he can turn himself into anyone, especially legendary Pokémon. He was the Palkia that appeared in my dream and dragged me here. He was the Dialga that brought us here to the future. That was him, guys! That wasn't your Dialga! But…if that's true…then this isn't the real 2510…and that wasn't the real 2010...and you never met my real mom or dad…or even my real brother…!" I started to cry.
"And why didn't you tell us this before?" asked Big Amy, trying her best to console me.
"It was too much to explain. I figured it all out just now. And…you wouldn't have believed me…"
"Just like Dusknoir…" Chikorita whispered.
I winced. "No! Don't compare me to him! I swear I won't hurt you guys! You're my friends, aren't you?"
Finally, Grovyle calmed down. "…Fine. That will do. But I'll be watching you very closely, human…" His suspicious glare made me shudder. From the moment he came along for the ride, I could feel that he was much harder to win over than Big Amy and Chikorita. And now, not only did whatever trust he had in me get completely blown away, I could feel that my already low chances of me regaining his trust just plummeted to near zero.
Samus calmed down too. "Interesting…you're from another dimension…I never knew it was possible."
Adam piped up. "Hey, kid. Funny you'd mention the G.F.S. Axiatomic Link. It was originally made to fly people from here to Planet K-2L in order to repair the Earth colony that was destroyed 22 years ago. Unfortunately, after several trips, Space Pirates attacked the ship, and now no one wants to colonize the planet anymore. We now know that it became a Space Pirate hotspot. The ship has been floating around in the planet's orbit for 5 years now."
"You think there might be video records on board, Adam?" asked Samus, perking up. I cringed. I already knew for a fact that Samus lived on K-2L back then, and she was only 3 years old when the colony was destroyed. But I wasn't about to explain to everyone how she survived and blah blah blah, lest she point her Arm Cannon at my head or something.
"Fairly sure. If the Space Pirates didn't loot them all."
Samus sighed. "…Then there's only one way to find out," she concluded in finality. She started up the engine. She addressed us, "Guess what, kids? You probably won't need all that money after all." The three Pokémon groaned in chagrin.
"Wait, wait! I need a spacesuit, right? 'Cause I bought one," I said.
"Perfect, kid. Now put it on."
I froze. "Wait a second…don't I need a changing room-?"
Samus pressed a button attached to the tag in the back I never knew was there. Suddenly, a bright flash of light engulfed me, and the next thing I knew, I was wearing it. It covered over the sailor outfit I was just wearing. "…Oh," was all I could utter, stunned.
She sighed. "*pfft*. Of course 21st century people would worry about changing rooms. Even if they're from another dimension." I just stood there, amazed at how the technology of the future could replicate magical girl transformation sequences so perfectly.
Big Amy, Chikorita, and Grovyle slipped on their Space Travel Orbs, covering themselves with a clear gelatinous mold that fitted their bodies. The ship rose out of the stadium. We looked out the windows to see that we flew out just in time. The next Pokéathlon Contest was starting up.
I gulped. "Axiatomic Link…here we go." Guess I was going to see what it looked like in real life.
To be continued…
Coming up next: We explore the wreckage of the Axiatomic Link to confirm the facts of our wild story and finally get to see the full extent of Samus' mad platforming skills. But going back there means reliving what I wrote in the first chapter of The Heroes of Time. And what if something terrible happens? There's going to be Panic Aboard the Axiatomic Link…Again!