Chapter 19: Answers, Part 1 of 2
"Groooovyyyle!" growled an oddly familiar voice dripping with jealousy.
We turned around. I groaned. It was shiny pink Celebi, flying towards us and telekinetically shoving Old Bird, Gray Voice, and Samus out of her way. Now how did I forget about her?
Grovyle groaned too, and slapped his face. "Here we go again…" he muttered under his breath. Big Amy and Chikorita looked worried, probably because they were never used to seeing Celebi like this.
She flew right up in Grovyle's face and accused, "You weren't…cheating on me again, were you?"
All he could utter was, "Uh…what are you talking about?"
"Wait, wait—you guys were playing hide-and-seek out there?" asked Chikorita
"And he cheated? Why didn't you get him to stop, Little Amy?" added Big Amy.
"Wow, Celebi! You ARE psychic!" exclaimed Chikorita in awe.
Celebi stifled laughter. Grovyle turned around and pretended to slink away while he could. I also stifled laughter, but I felt queasy inside too, almost as if I knew what was coming. She flew down to their general height and spoke, in an unusually sweet voice, "Why girls, I believe you are mistaken. Cheating is when a man—"
"Whoa whoa WHOA, shut up!" I clamped my hands around Celebi's mouth, hard. But it didn't take long for her to blast free of my grip with psychokinetic energy.
"Ah-HAH! So you ARE guilty!" she shouted in triumph.
"WHAT?" I practically exploded. "I only stopped you because what you were about to say comes from lesson five of that insane How to Be Human book! And what was that supposed to mean, anyway?"
Big Amy gasped and promptly pulled her ears down so she couldn't hear anything else. She also pretended to slink away in the general direction that Grovyle was going. Chikorita just stared in confusion.
"I meant that I knew what you were—"
"It was a REHITORICAL QUESTION! You are NOT dragging romance into my life, okay? You hear me? NO romance!"
Big Amy stopped. She turned around and asked me "You hate romance too, Little Amy?" Chikorita looked at me with the same kind of awestruck expression on her face.
My voice calmed down to a reasonable volume. "Hate it? Oh, I despise it."
Celebi's eyes narrowed and a weird smile crept on her face. I gulped. Why did I have to make her so darned prone to jealously AND give her a penchant for romance? "Really…? In that case, I'll have to enlighten you, human." She charged up a weird-looking ball of energy on her finger.
"Wha—wait—hold on—" I stammered, backing up as fast as I could. But she was faster. Quick as a flash, she launched the energy ball and shouted, "Ala-kablooie!'
Ala-kablooie?
Nothing happened.
She glared at the ball of energy on her finger and muttered, "Maybe I didn't do this right…" then shouted, "Ala-kablooie!" again.
Still nothing happened. The spell or whatever it was passed through me unharmed. Then she went ballistic. "Ala-kablooie Ala-kablooie Ala-kablooie [etc, etc…]"
"Run for it!" I shouted, picking Big Amy up again. Chikorita and Grovyle didn't need to be told twice. We dashed passed a really confused Samus Aran and through the village, trying to dodge Celebi's insane Harry Potter/Lilo and Stitch/whatever spells she was throwing at us, because the odds were sensational that one—just one—might actually do something to me. My mind was freaking out. Since when did Celebi—or any Pokémon, for that matter—actually learn how to do magic? Furthermore, wasn't Ala-kablooie a nonsense word that was actually a cue for Houdini a.k.a. Experiment 604 to blink his eyes and make stuff disappear? These crazy crossovers were getting freakier and freakier by the second.
And then it finally happened.
One of Celebi's blasts hit Big Amy. I don't know how it did; maybe it bounced off of one of those Chozo mirrors behind us or something, but it hit. The sudden weight increase pulled me straight into the ground. We were sprawled in a heap, right in front of Old Bird and Gray Voice's house.
Yeah. Big Amy turned back into her 10-year-old original human self, complete with brilliant green eyes, pink hair, and my uber-unique designer outfit I worked so hard to create.
"AAAAAAAAH!" First it was her, then Chikorita, and finally, me. Their shouting really was contagious.
Suddenly, I heard Adam say, from the orange ship, "Wait a second. So crazy alien pixie girl was the one who messed up that DNA restoration device?"
She replied, "Oh yeah! I wanted to make sure that Amy didn't get in the way, so I turned her—D'oh! I'm an idiot. I've been casting the wrong kind of spell all along. Wait a second. You're a talking spaceship? Who the heck are you?"
I scrambled to connect the dots. "Whoa whoa whoa, time out. That Omnitrix thingy was supposed to permanently turn her into a human, but so was Celebi's spell, right? Celebi, that was you! I heard you say Ala-kablooie right when that Omnitrix thingy worked. So, your spell must've messed with that device…causing Big Amy to turn back into a Jigglypuff whenever she wants!"
The five of them, Celebi, Big Amy, Chikorita, Grovyle, and Adam all stared at me in awe.
"Whoa…" said Grovyle.
"You're good, Little Amy!" exclaimed Chikorita.
"Hmm…I can turn back into a human whenever I want, huh?" asked Big Amy.
Right then, Samus, Old Bird, and Gray Voice finally caught up to us, and then stopped when they saw the odd state we were in. Samus pointed at Big Amy and tried to say something, but whatever it was could never seem to leave her mouth. Maybe she was flabbergasted as to when and how this Jigglypuff to human transformation was actually possible.
Adam piped up, "Wait, wait! Guys, I just got an idea! It's genius! Hey Lady, why don't you and both Amy's stand in front of this wall?"
"Huh…?" Completely confused, we did what he said anyway. "No wait, why don't you stand from shortest to tallest? Amy [you know who] should be in the middle. Amy Purima, move to the left, and Lady, move to the right. There! Everyone stand up straight, okay?"
Were we doing a police lineup or something? It sounded like he wanted us to pose for a picture. Chikorita and Grovyle looked confused.
"Okay, girls, ready? Three…two…one…Say 'cheese'!"
So it was a picture. Good thing I smiled. He printed the photo out, and let me look at the picture he took of us. When I saw it, I shouted in shock, "AAAAAAAAH!"
Samus (still in her Zero Suit) was on the right, I was on the left, and Amy Purima was in the middle. The difference in our heights was amazing. Amy was 4'3'', I was 5'5'', and Samus was 6'3''. In other words, I was exactly between them in height. I guess that's what Adam wanted to capture, because he added light green height lines complete with those numbers to the picture. Finally, I couldn't help but notice that this picture could easily be used in a health textbook or something. I mean, Amy was a child, I was a teenager, and Samus was an adult. All that was missing was a baby, an old lady, and maybe many more. What an odd thought.
But that wasn't what nearly gave me a heart attack. What nearly gave me a heart attack was the fact that I somehow failed to notice how much of a disaster area I looked. My outfit was littered with rips and gashes, stained with dark-red…yuck…and soaked with rainwater to the point of having a slightly greenish hue. My hair was even worse; it was soaked with the aforementioned liquids and scattered all over the place. In fact, it was so short and so much like a rat's nest that it looked like a certain someone went to town on it with a shredder (Yes, Grovyle, I'm looking at you). The Vulpimancer-creature's bite marks and the resulting poisoning left nasty gashes and purplish welts all along my right arm. As for my face, no, the rest of my body…Don't ask.
I understood that people in third-world countries and dystopian societies were probably used to practically mutilated sights like me every day. But I didn't come from said countries/societies. I've lived in turn-of-the-21st century Virginia almost all my life, where it was expected that everyone look clean and presentable every day.
So for the very first time in my whole entire life, I fainted on the spot. I suspected that anemia from blood loss and hypothermia from the rain also played a role, but…really. Could you blame me?
And I wondered if my friends were being polite to never point it out to me...
"Grovyle?"
"Yeah?"
"I know you wanted to make it up to me somehow, but…"
"But what?"
"You DO know that the average human head has, like, 100,000 strands of hair?"
He paused. "Wait, what?"
"Judging by how it's taking you 60 seconds and counting to tie just one strand, I'd say—"
Finally, he threw his arms up and groaned in frustration, "GAH!"
Apparently, he felt bad about cutting all of my hair in half (which was actually Amy Purima's original excess hair, if you understand what it's symbolizing here), so now he was trying to tie all 100,000 hairs back. Needless to say, his claws were too clumsy to get the job done.
Let me recap for a second. Old Bird and Gray Voice had lots and lots of fellow Chozo neighbors who were gracious enough to heal all of our injuries. I wasn't exactly sure what it entailed, because I was unconscious the whole time. But I have to admit they did an excellent job. Looking into a Chozo mirror (which exactly the same as a normal human mirror, only if you kick at, say, the reflection of your thigh in the mirror, you feel the full impact of the kick on your real thigh for some freaky reason), I found to my relief that I looked perfectly fine again.
By now the resident Chozo woman named Shining Flame walked in. She almost burst out laughing when she saw what Grovyle was trying to do. "Oh no, young man…" she guffawed. "I have a much more efficient device for the job." She opened a cabinet underneath the sink and pulled out a familiar-looking device.
"Hey, isn't that…that haircut thingy from Gaijin City?" I asked.
"Oh, you recognize this?" she remarked.
So it was a hair-attaching machine. It worked just as perfectly as the first one. With that settled, Grovyle then looked for something else to make up to me and tried to fix the rips in my outfit. Shining Flame laughed again and brought out another device that looked like a gun-shaped sewing machine that could somehow sew stuff without piercing my skin below. I honestly wondered where they got all this awesome stuff, but didn't complain. How could I?
Finally, I was presentable enough for Adam to take another picture of the three of us. After he printed out three copies, Big Amy turned back into her Jigglypuff form, apparently having figured out that all she had to do was THINK about turning back into a Jigglypuff, and voila, it worked. She and Samus both had copies of the picture.
By the time that was over, one of the Chozo (I guessed the village elder) stepped forward and said to Old Bird, "How would your guests like to join us tonight for our official welcoming festival?" We agreed, mostly because Big Amy and Chikorita and I assumed that by "festival" they meant, "by definition, it has singing and dancing in it too."
The Chozo then led us on a tour of their village. From the outside, it was a quaint little unassuming village at the base of a mountain in the middle of a sprawling forest. The huts were made of a surprisingly sturdy type of rock that melded well with the natural environment, and their heights varied depending on whether they were residential areas or public service buildings. But whenever they would take us inside any building, the technological level jumped to futuristic proportions. They had floating hologram monitors, auto sterilization sprays for walls and floors, and even their own form of the Internet! They had sophisticated hospitals capable of providing services to all sorts of species (including humans, despite the fact that there were absolutely no humans in the place besides Samus and me) that bustled with such speed that there were absolutely no waiting lines. There were no police stations, fire departments, or even postal services, probably because of the Internet. But I loved their libraries and educational institutions! Apparently, Calculus AB was an introductory course at their elementary schools. It blew me away.
Our last stop was the plaza at the center of town. Oddly enough, there was a huge crowd. Almost all of the Chozo in the village were gathered around the area. Team Pecha may have been reminded of Treasure Town's Town Square, but I instantly recognized the object in the center. It was a giant crystal; the exact same one from Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles that staved off the miasma from Tipa Village. I suddenly got nervous.
"H—hey, Old Bird? There's miasma on this planet too?" I asked.
He laughed and patted me on the back, pretty hard. "Of course not, young one. That crystal merely powers the shield that protects our village from storms like the one from the night before."
"Oooooh…" uttered Team Pecha.
Neither Grovyle nor I had any idea what happened here the night before, so Samus explained it to us. But I still had one last question. "Old Bird, how did you know that miasma—?"
"I believe I shall explain."
The crowd suddenly became silent at the sound of the voice. A tall, ethereal being, almost like a Luminoth but with eight white glowing, magnificent wings, floated out from behind the crystal. I had never ever seen a being like him before, and his majestic presence took my breath away. "Who—I mean, what—I mean, who are you?" I asked.
"My name is Kel-Zich, and you already know what I am. I…am a Ylla." He pronounced it exactly the way I imagined it would: YIH-luh. Considering how imprecise the English language is when it comes to made-up names, that didn't happen very often.
My heart skipped a beat. "You're a Ylla? Whoa." I mean, this was a really obscure being in the Metroid universe. I only happened to hear about them in a description about the Luminoth. Basically, the Luminoth were intelligent beings from Metroid Prime 2: Echoes that learned from other enlightened beings such as the N'kren, the Chozo…and the Ylla. But here was the rub: I knew what the Chozo and the Luminoth looked like. There were absolutely no pictures of the N'kren or the Ylla. That's how obscure they were.
He floated down from the rock the crystal was wedged in and stopped in front of me. Then he did a surprising thing: He bowed to me. "Amy [you know who]…it is my deepest honor to finally be able to meet you in person. Please accept my infinite gratitude." He then turned to the crowd and announced, "Fellow beings! The day we have long awaited for has finally come. The Master of This Universe has arrived." He pointed a long, bony, glowing finger at me.
I stared in confusion. So did the Pokémon. The Chozo crowd gasped and started muttering among themselves. Samus asked, "Wait. What do you mean she's the…Master…of This Universe…?"
Kel-Zich floated to the rock with the crystal in it and sat down, beckoning us to come closer and sit down too. "I believe you all have a right to know the truths I have discovered. You enemies have unfairly exploited your ignorance for far too long." We sat down, and I swear the crowd moved in further to hear what the guy had to say.
"You see, young Amy, everything in this universe originates from the depths of your mind…the Pokémon…the Metroids…Samus Aran…Robattles…miasma, and many, many more. If you were not alive, none of us would exist."
I was floored, and I'm pretty sure everyone else was too. "Wait, so we're…INSIDE MY HEAD?"
"No, child. There are infinite amounts of parallel universes. There are universes not just from your mind, but also from the minds of every being of every universe, and many, many more. It boggles even my mind. But that is where the complications arose. You see, in the natural course of events, no normal being should ever be able to travel to a dimension from their own mind. As long as they remain outside, their universe remains safe, controlled, and in-balance. However…a certain being pulled you into this universe in order to disrupt its balance. You are aware of who he is, correct?"
I thought back to the day everything changed, starting from my weird dream. "Zoroark?" I guessed.
"Correct. We would like it if you told us your story from there. Include as many details as you can. We are quite curious."
So I told them everything, from the night Zoroark pulled me in to today. It took a long time, but Kel-Zich was nice enough to hand me some magical floating globules of water whenever I got thirsty. I swore there was something special about that water, because when I drank it, it completely refreshed my throat. Normal water couldn't necessarily do that. Finally, after I finished, Kel-Zich wanted Big Amy, Chikorita, Grovyle and then Samus to tell their sides of the story. It took a really long time, and the sun had set by the end, but the way they told their stories was so engaging, I never missed a single word.
Finally, Kel-Zich came to a conclusion. "I see. Amy [you know who], it seems to be quite clear that Zoroark is working for Queen X, the hive mind leader of the X Parasites...and now, the Space Pirates. Queen X desired your intimate knowledge of everything in this universe so she could subjugate the galaxy. She manipulated him, who in turn manipulated your every move. Judging by how she cleverly weaved her way through all of your stories, it seems that she coerced you into situations that would force you to reveal your knowledge to your friends…which in turn would cause Samus to abandon you and Grovyle to almost kill you on Planet Portania."
"So we were like puppets within a puppet show inside of a puppet show!" I gasped, thinking back to a similar picture I created back on Earth.
Big Amy brought up another point. "Hey wait a second. Mr. Malkovich said that the Ylla gave our planet the name Planet Portania. Was that you?"
"Indeed. Were you aware that in the scientific community, Pokémon are considered a single species? It is because all of you have the exact same molecular structure, albeit an extremely flexible one. So flexible, in fact, that it could mutate into 17 different elemental affinities, with over 1,000 different-looking forms. The name Portania, in the Ylla language, was inspired by that fact; that from a single species could there be so much variety. It is a beautiful miracle."
Chikorita couldn't help but shed a few tears of gratitude.
"But Queen X already copied all of us. What's she going to do now?" asked Grovyle.
"She is building her army. For some reason she wasn't aware of, her almost-killing of young Amy caused this entire dimension to almost collapse in on itself, so she fled to a nearby dimension and by now is attempting to conquer it. Luckily, Old Bird and Gray Voice managed to put the four of you in cold sleep to halt the X Parasite infection, and Samus managed to find some Metroid DNA to cure you, therefore stopping this universe's destruction."
"So I have to be alive in order for this universe to exist?" I asked.
He thought hard. "…No. That is also not supposed to happen in the natural course of events. Why did this universe start to collapse…? It may be related to a rule in the laws of time and space. I suspect it may also be related to you too, Amy Vee Purima," he said, pointing to Big Amy.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"You and Amy [you know who]'s souls…are emitting the same aura. Huh. Curious. I need to research further."
"Research?" I asked.
"Yes. How do you think I know so much? I meditate every day, probing the secrets of this universe. The day I found that you were the Master of This Universe was the happiest day of my life. But I am still sorry. I, too, was too late to help you avoid Queen X's deadly trap."
We all sat there, thinking hard about everything we've been through.
He continued. "…Nevertheless, Queen X will eventually discover that you are still alive, children. And when she does, and finds that you have Metroid DNA…she will stop at nothing to kill you all. And she will be nearly impossible to defeat since she can perform everything you all are capable of, combine your powers, and worst of all, create an infinite army of perfect clones."
We gulped. Finally, Old Bird came up with a solution. "But, Kel-Zich. The children now have Metroid DNA. Queen X will no longer be able to copy them anymore. Which means that, if we rapidly increase their combat abilities and assist them in conquering their weaknesses within, say, a four-week training program…"
Kel-Zich stared at us with an unusually sly look on his face. "Hmm. That…could work."
He then stood up in front of the crystal, faced us all, and announced, "Amy [you know who], Amy Vee Purima, Chikorita, Grovyle, Samus Aran, Adam Malkovich, and Celebi? Welcome to Yamamori Village, so named for the fact that it is between Torgus Forest and Mr. Chorshire." I thought it over. Huh. More Japanese. At least it wasn't something as convoluted as Konohagakure Village from Naruto. (On the other hand, any word that meant "village hidden in the leaves" wouldn't be such a bad idea, either.)
And with that, the Chozo brought out all of these drums and wind instruments and started playing songs. Many of them ran up to the crystal and danced around it, officially welcoming us into their village. It lasted for only 10 minutes or so, but the tune was so catchy, I couldn't help but clap along the whole time. Why didn't the Metroid games ever tell me how musical the Chozo civilization was? Guess I've been missing out on some great fun.
So it was decided that Big Amy and I would spend the night at Kel-Zich's house. I suspected he wanted to research us a bit more. Samus moved back in with Old Bird and Gray Voice, which made sense, since they were practically her grandfather and her father. Grovyle and Chikorita were originally supposed to move in with Shining Flame and her close cousin Platinum Chest, but they bellyached so hard about it that Kel-Zich offered to take them in too, on the condition that we were in separate rooms. Those two Grass Pokémon really were overprotective of Big Amy and me, I guess. Anyway, I was thrilled to see that Kel-Zich's house had full amenities and stuff for Big Amy and me, just like in Shining Flame's house. To top it off, I was finally able to actually put on those pink PJs I bought all the way back in Gaijin City.
Big Amy and I shared a bed in one room, while Chikorita and Grovyle stayed in a nearby room that was practically connected to the forest outside. Kel-Zich had his own glowing room that I suspected had a secret tunnel that led all the way to the crystal in the center of town. Big Amy and I bounced on the massive, super-fluffy bed for about 30 minutes before we finally felt tired.
"Hey, Big Amy? Remember the time when Chikorita and Grovyle used you as a pillow?"
"Yeah. Do you want to—?"
"No, wait! Just saying…"
"Meh. They were meanie-butts about it. But you? You're nice. Besides, your hair is comfy. Their heads…" She grimaced. "Not so much."
We both laughed. Then I paused as I remembered something. "…I can only ever fall asleep on my back. What about you, Big Amy?"
"Oh yeah, you're right! Me too…" She thought for a bit, popped off her magical red bow that stuck to her back all the time, and placed it on the nearby table that also held my water bottle and retainer case. She then kicked the pillow off the bed and flopped, face down, in its place. "Hey! I can still breathe!" she mumbled.
"Yay!" I exclaimed.
We turned out the orange wall lights just by clapping twice. I rested my head on her and pulled up the covers, staring into the millions of stars above through the glass (or at least I think it was glass) ceiling above. Normally, I'd feel guilty for using any friend of mine as a pillow, even if she was a cute fluffy puffball, but the texture of her body felt so insanely heavenly, my eyelids slammed shut almost immediately.
"Goodnight, Big Amy…" I yawned.
"Goodnight, Little Amy!" she mumbled. I swear she giggled a bit, too. Maybe she thought my hair was a bit ticklish. Or maybe she wasn't kidding about my hair being comfy.
Right before I fell asleep, I checked my watch. June 26. I thought over those last few words Old Bird and Kel-Zich said. Whatever training they were talking about would take four weeks? Like Institute For the Arts, huh? Now that was a fun camp…at least, for the first few years I took it (from when I was a rising 8th grader to a rising 11th grader). Four weeks in July, and I could choose whichever four courses I wanted. I skipped it last summer since I was already bored of it, and that I needed to practice for Cross Country. Cross Country, huh? I wondered if this training they were planning would be just as intense.
What the two Amy's don't know is that there is a super-secret video camera in the corner running a scanner over them both. The data is being transmitted to a computer-like hologram monitor in Kel-Zich's room. He processes the data.
Computer voice: Psycho-analysis complete.
Kel-Zich: Good. Bring up data file 41-062.
The computer brings up the requested data file and shows it on the screen.
Amy [you know who]
Data File 41-062: WORST FEARS
—Bees, spiders, and stinging insects in general
—Homicidal people (latest entry: Grovyle)
—Competition
—Dissection, probes, etc.
—Cosmopolitan people
—Being stricken by lightning
—Violent assaults
—One-hit-kill weapons in general
—Interspecies romance/dating
The list goes on and on before going to Team Pecha's and finally to the end.
Kel-Zich: (I see, I see…Amy [you know who], Amy Vee Purima, Chikorita, and Grovyle…Starting tomorrow, we shall do everything in our power to help you conquer as many of these fears as we can.)
To be continued…
Coming up next: And here I thought my Cross Country training was brutal. Obviously, I had no idea what "brutal training" really feels like! What kind of torturous exercises has Kel-Zich thought up for me now? I will find out next time, first-hand, The Terror of Training!