Chapter 33: One and the Same
The light cleared.
I could still see the entirety of the Galactic Federation chamber. All the seats on the sides were still empty. I was confused. Wasn't I supposed to have died? What was going on in here?
I looked down. There were my five friends, all with tears streaming down their cheeks. Samus, Kirby, Chikorita, Grovyle, and Big Amy were still holding the stone circle in midair with the help of their jetpacks/Air Ride Machines. In the center of the circle was a mass of bright green cells, rapidly multiplying and growing faster and faster by the second. Below them in the pit floated the brightly glowing orange gelatinous blob that was Queen X. Was she starting to move again?
I looked all around. There were still those two-way hologram newscasting screens that allowed the crowds outside to peer in. It was absolute silence. Many were silently crying. Others had no idea what was happening. Then one pointed and gasped downward. I looked and saw that to my horror, Queen X floated up to my friends and aimed herself right at them, about to infect them all! They were still crying and trying to honor my memory to realize the danger. If only I could stop Queen X…! NOOOOO! I tried to shout.
And right then… I somehow managed to tackle Queen X and stop her in her place. Even though I was already supposed to be dead.
"Impossible!" gasped Queen X.
"Little Amy? You're a g—g—g—g—g—GHOST!" stammered a really freaked-out Chikorita.
No way! I can't be a ghost! But then I thought it over a bit. Well, jeez, I dunno. Maybe I am.
Kirby looked up and pointed at me, shouting, "It's Dwawcia! It's Dwawcia! Amy became Dwawcia!"
Drawcia? Did he mean Drawcia from Kirby: Canvas Curse? That witch who turned him into a ball? I then remembered that there were two forms Drawcia could take: Her normal form…and her soul.
…Her soul!
Guys! Guys! I'm a soul? I still exist? Like Drawcia? I shouted out at them. It only came out as mere telepathy, unfortunately.
But it seemed like they could hear me just fine. "Whoooaa…you are one weird drippy rainbow-colored ball!" commented Big Amy.
Uh…out of curiosity, how many eyes do I have? I asked.
"Five," answered Grovyle and Samus at the same time.
Whoa. It doesn't feel like I have five eyes at all, I remarked.
Samus then finished scanning me with her Scan Visor and replied, "I don't get it…you're morphology is even more powerful than a Chozo Ghost's. No normal being's soul should ever be that solid or that powerful." She shrugged. "Maybe you ARE the Master of this Universe after all."
"NO!" screeched Queen X in a similarly telepathetic way. "I'm the Master of this Universe! Not this inferior being! NEVER!"
I gasped. Maybe THAT'S why we can't beat you yet! Well, let me tell you something, Queen X! You can copy my memories, my abilities, even what I look like…but you can never copy my soul! OR anyone else's! NEVER!
Samus smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. After all, she remembered how it was her line from Metroid Fusion. Queen X and I fought. I shoved her back and did everything I could to keep her from reaching my friends and infecting them. I couldn't let up until the baby Metroid was fully formed. The one who would become the new Queen Metroid. If I remembered correctly—
"Samus! How long is this supposed to take?" asked Grovyle.
She scanned the rapidly growing mass of cells and replied, "When the Chozo made the first Metroid ever, it took about 11 years."
"ELEVEN years? We don't have that much time!" shouted Big Amy in desperation.
"I know. But wait. I think that thanks to all of your Metroid DNA…and that Dimensional Scream power thingy of yours, Amy…the growth process has been increased by a factor of…1124.03. Wow."
"Shouldn't we get out of here? Like, now?" asked Chikorita, nervously eyeing the quivering Queen X locked in amorphous combat with me.
"Oh yeah, good point. We don't have Metroid DNA anymore." Samus led the others and helped them place the circular disc on the High Council's platform. Then they flew out through the hole in the ceiling and assisted the people outside in sealing off the entire room so Queen X couldn't escape.
That left me free to wrestle with the restless Queen X. I couldn't let her get away though a hidden crack I didn't know about. Sealed in, huh? Reminds me of how you tried to lock me into this dimension. I shot at her.
She nastily replied, "Think you're so clever, huh? I still have a chance of beating you, inferior being. All I have to do I smash that magic circle or whatever the heck that resurrection device is, and all your hard work will be for nothing."
Like that'll ever happen.
I can honestly say that the next 30 minutes was when the real final battle was. We crashed and smashed into each other, and neither of us ever got tired. Finally, we heard a loud, "SCREEE!" sound from behind us.
It was the baby Metroid.
She was only about 1 foot tall (four inches bigger than Kirby, but only 1/3 the size of a fully-grown Metroid), but she still looked very much like an ordinary Metroid. She had a greenish gelatinous membrane shell that was pretty much opaque (instead of translucent), two pincers, and two energy-sucking teeth. At least her levitation ability was the most adept. Following her deep-seated natural instincts, she spotted Queen X and made a beeline right towards her.
Queen X panicked and flew around the room, hoping for a way out. The little Metroid chased her around. I tried to stop Queen X, but she was unusually fast.
She tried one last effort to dissuade me. "Fine then, inferior being! I can't believe you actually sacrificed your body to bring back these bloodsucking, civilization-decimating creatures! You think us X Parasites are worse than these abominable Metroids? You have no idea what you're unleashing on this galaxy. I hope your friends will be thown in galactic prison for the rest of their miserable lives."
I finally caught her and replied, We already know from history how bad the Metroids were. But that was all a mistake. It was never meant to happen. You know as well as I that the Chozo made the Metroids specifically to stop you! They knew you'd conquer the galaxy like this! So enough of this "We can bring true peace to the galaxy" nonsense, you liar!
"I never knew you'd be the murdering type, little-goody-two-shoes."
I'm not fighting for revenge. I'm fighting so we can all finally be free forever!
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Queen X. The little Metroid plowed right into her…and sucked her dry, slowly and excruciatingly. Just like how Queen X wanted me to die. It was the end of Queen X, the end of the X Parasite Empire…and the end of the Clone War, at long last.
Right then, Samus and my friends burst back in. So did the rest of the Galactic Federation alien diplomats, one by one. After the little Metroid finished eating (or drinking?) all of Queen X, she turned around…and saw Samus. And then to my surprise, she spoke.
"…Mama?" It was still telepathy, but I was surprised to hear her at all. I thought Metroids couldn't talk.
"…Little Metroid?" I could feel it. This was shaping out to be exactly like the same heartwarming scene between Team Pecha and Grovyle.
"Mama! Is you! Is you!" She floated right to Samus, and Samus flew with her jetpack to her.
"I'm sorry I never got to tell you all this time, Little Metroid, but…thank you! Thank you for saving my life back then! Remember? You saved me from Mother Brain AND the X Parasites! Really, thank you, thank you!"
"Mama…don't cry, Mama…"
Aw… I sniffed. You see, Samus? This is everything I've been working for. This was all that made it worthwhile. If it wasn't for me…Sporis here wouldn't never been brought back to life. All this time…she lived in you, Samus. She lived in you.
Samus looked up and was confused. "Sporis? SHE?"
That's her name. She's going to be the future Queen Metroid, remember? Besides, don't you think that's a good name? It suits you guys. Sporis, and Samus. See?
"Sporis…Samus…" she whispered, testing it out. She blinked away tears and concluded, "Yeah…that is a good name. No wonder you're the Master of this Universe. You sacrificed yourself for her…so I guess it's only fair that you'd get to name her. Oh, Sporis…I promise I won't let anything hurt you ever again. I promise."
I'd already decided that Sporis would be a good name for her when I was only 11, back when I was still desperately thinking of ways to bring the little Metroid back to life. I actually derived the name Sporis from Sporos, a character from Madeleine L'Engle's famous novel A Wind in the Door. For some reason, it sounded so…right.
Big Amy, Chikorita, and Grovyle turned around to get a good look at Sporis. Their jaws were dropping in shock, and maybe the slightest hint of revulsion. Grovyle uttered, "That's a Metroid? That's what all of this fuss is about? I dunno…I always thought they'd be more, y'know…like one of the good guys. Samus, are you sure it's okay for you to hug it like that?"
Samus swiftly replied, "HER, Grovyle. It's okay to hug her." She paused and let Sporis float for a few seconds in front of herself. "Wait…yeah, I just noticed! She's not biting on anyone's heads!"
Of course she isn't! Didn't you see how she sucked Queen X like that? Sporis probably won't even have to eat for months! You'll have plenty of time to figure out other ways to feed her, Samus! I explained.
"You right, Miss floaty soully thingy!" chirped Sporis. "Me full! Me no bite nice people's heads! Me remember Mama reeeeeaaally good!" I smiled. I believed her. I mean, I knew that soon after they're born, Metroids think that the first being they ever see is their mama. Seeing as how Queen X and I were the first beings Sporis saw and yet she still remembered Samus was proof that she was still alive all this time. And that made me beyond happy. I finally did the right thing.
As I watched my Pokémon friends and Kirby play with Sporis, I then felt myself glowing yellow and disappearing, and I was saddened. Would I finally have to go at last? Everyone…? They all turned to me. I think I have to go now.
Big Amy ran right up to me and tried to hug me. "Oh, Little Amy…I wish you wouldn't have to! I wish you could stay with us, forever!"
Right then, I felt several odd sensations at once. Like that same odd sensations I felt when Zoroark first pulled me into this dimension and when he pulled me into this future. I was also reminded of the same feeling I felt during the Starfall Festival. Could it be…? You know what, Amy? When they said we were one and the same…maybe they meant it literally. Maybe, because I'm the Master of the Universe…I CAN be with you guys.
She stared at me in awe and wonder. "Amy…What do you mean?"
I shrugged, or at least tried to. At least, that's what it feels like. We'll see for ourselves.
And right then, my soul evaporated into a field of glowing yellow lights.
I was falling through what looked like the time tunnel and a wormhole at the same time. Like a flume ride from the Pendragon series, stars streaked by me at the speed of light, and images from every planet from every time period whirled past me. As the ride flew by faster and faster, I felt another familiar sensation, this time that of the Dimensional Scream. Did Big Amy use up the rest of her Dimensional Scream—I mean, Echoes of Time—power to send me on like this?
Finally, I emerged out onto a familiar sight. It was the Starfall Festival again! But this time, I was amongst the falling stars, and though they looked like comets crashing to the planet below in the form of meteors on the outside, I could feel energy and vitality radiating from every one of them. I gasped. The Chozo's ancient legends were right! These all were souls!
I looked down onto the planet below. It wasn't Planet Chozodia, or anywhere unknown, for that matter. It was Capital Planet Earth. More specifically, Gaijin City.
Roy and Jean Purima.
A flood of memories sped through my mind. Crawling aboard the G.F.S. Axiatomic Link. Meeting little Treecko. Learning everything in the dark future of Planet Portania. Drawing on the cave walls—a lot. The horrible execution. The very first Dimensional Scream I ever experienced. The Planetary Exploration Team. Grovyle and I venturing across the broken-up islands of the planet. Battling…escaping…going forward with a single purpose in life. Meeting everyone in Quartzite Cave. Re-discovering my love for Jigglypuff. Finally, falling through the time tunnel, saving Grovyle from Darkrai's attacks, falling into the sea, turning into a Jigglypuff…and losing my memories.
A beautiful sunset on a beach. Chikorita. Meeting Master Wigglytuff and forming an exploration team. Team Skull, the meanie-butts. Uxie, Mesprit, and Azelf. Meeting Dusknoir, then Grovyle. Realizing that the only reason that Amy Purima—me!—had even suspected something was wrong was because I already knew who was good and who was bad, but only subconsciously. Dusknoir dragging us to the dark future world. Teaming up with Grovyle to get out of there. Grovyle revealing the truth. Riding on Lapras' back to the Hidden Land. Losing Grovyle in the Hidden Land to Dusknoir, maybe forever. The final battle with Primal Dialga, where I sang a song for the very first time. Disappearing into the vast recesses of time.
Then reappearing on the beach again, realizing Dialga saved me. A tearful reunion and the reassurance that Grovyle and Dusknoir and Celebi were still alive. Several months of adventures. Graduation. The Pecha Berry house. The nightmares. Darkrai's wicked plot and revelations to me. We beat him. Palkia blasting him as he escaped through the Dimensional Hole. Cheers and congratulations from the Pokémon in Treasure Town. The Echoes of Time.
Another year of adventures. Dancing with Ludicoolaid Man. Meeting with Team Charm to investigate the new alien invader. Finding it was Samus Aran. Stowing away for adventure. Playing around the ship for an hour.
Then…
Me.
From the past.
She teaching me and Chikorita about Earth. Meeting her—my!—family. Going to the future. Meeting Grovyle again. Arriving in Gaijin City. Learning—arrgh—how to be human. The secret base. The Pokéathlon Contest. I lost badly to that Typhlosion. Drawing the best picture of all. Victory. Teh Pirates Who Don't Do Nothin'. Me being shocked at those revelations. Axiatomic Link, again. Captured. Going through my past memories. They suddenly become completely unlocked. We escape. We fight Ridley. We see Queen X for the first time. We escape again. Samus kicking us out. Me and Chikorita rescuing my past self from those Pokémon. Grovyle…we couldn't trust him anymore. Or Dusknoir. Then Queen X infected us.
We woke up. We spent the night at Old Bird's house, hoping for their safe return. Revelations that night. Four weeks of training. We wanted to be best friends forever. Our final test. We passed. Then…the battles with Queen X. Torture. Going back to Planet Portania. Seeing Arceus and Dusknoir die. Being framed and thrown in prison in Gaijin City. The unfair trial and escape from execution. The final battle. Us sad to see her soul disappear forever. And then…
Samus set the stone circlet down, and my friends all surrounded it. "Amy [you know who] was…the best friend we've ever had. If it weren't for her, we never would've been able to defeat Queen X and save the galaxy from the X Parasites. I never would've gotten to see Sporis again. And…we never would've become friends."
"Let's never forget her," mumbled Grovyle.
"Never forget," repeated Kirby.
That was the scene I found myself in. I was right there. I could barely believe it. I looked down at my arms. Yep, pink stubby ones. I quickly looked around. Chikorita, Grovyle, Kirby, Samus, and Sporis were closest to me, now towering over me. The alien diplomats were still filing in. The entire chamber of the Galactic Federation suddenly seemed to glow with golden light, and I could make out the bright colors of the great blue symbol on the walls. It was just like in Leroy and Stitch. I looked down at myself in the reflective surface of the High Council chamber. Just as I thought.
I was a Jigglypuff again. More specifically, I was Amy Vee Purima. Permanently.
They all were stuck in the depths of sorrow. I was dismayed. Chikorita walked up and nudged me. "Hey! Big Amy? Why aren't you saying anything? Wasn't she your best friend too?"
I had to let them know the truth at once. I blurted out, "GUYS! I'm right here!"
They all stared at me like I'd grown five extra eyes. Finally, Grovyle walked right up to me and patted my head in a consoling manner. "Now, now…Thanks for trying to cheer us up. I know how much she meant to you. To all of us. You two were so similar, you were practically one and the same."
Chikorita nodded, "He's right, Big Amy. So stop trying to pretend to be her. You're only making it…worse—"
I was furious. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I screeched. "I'm not Big Amy! I'm Little Amy—no, wait, I'm the true Amy! I just figured it out now! Amy Purima was me in the future! My soul—just now—went to the past to the day Amy Purima was born, and now she—I mean, I—remember everything! Maybe I didn't want her to remember until now because that would've messed up the story from my Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games—and so—!"
They continued to stare at me like I had five extra eyes. Grovyle shook his head and huffed, "No. If you were her in the future, you'd remember everything that ever happened in her life, and—"
Right then, we heard moaning and groaning from the far end of the High Council walkway. It was Zoroark, Darkrai, Zark, and Zork. They were all somehow stuffed underneath the counters, and some of them hit their heads, but they eventually crawled out. Our jaws dropped in awe. I could only point and stammer incoherently, "Wha—wha—how did—I mean—I thought Queen X—"
"What about Queen X? I mean, where is she, anyway? I'm gonna kill her," muttered Zoroark.
"Me ate her! Me ate her! Yum yum yum!" chirped Sporis, bouncing up and down.
The four baddies then looked in our direction. "A Metroid? With teh n00bs? Whooooaaa…" exclaimed Zark and Zork simultaneously. Zoroark looked conflicted. One part of him probably wanted to kill Sporis, but another part of him seemed to be ordering him not to, since Queen X betrayed him. Darkrai just went, "Huuuuh…?" not understanding a single thing.
Finally, Zoroark noticed us. "Hey, why are you guys here? I thought Queen X sent you guys to get executed. And where's that Amy [you know who], anyway? Let me guess. She bit the dust helping you guys escape from that asteroid prison."
Samus explained, "Actually…she sacrificed herself so this little Metroid could be brought back to life and defeat Queen X once and for all," while pointing to Sporis.
"THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'M RIGHT HERE!" I shouted, jumping up and down and pointing to myself.
One second, Zark and Zork were standing all the way over there, the next, they had already crossed that distance and were shoving my mouth open, shouting, "Yo! L33t Universe Master! U in dere?"
"OMG, Wii can't believe u actually 8 her, Puffball n00b! Hang in dere!" added Zork.
"Yeh, Wii need 2 thank u 4 totally pwning dat Queen 4 us! Wii're comin' 2 get u!"
I mumbled, "Getcher handsh…ou' o' ma'…moufh!" and kicked them as hard as I could. They crashed into Zoroark and Darkrai. Then what they just said registered in my head. "Wait. What? You're not mad at me for beating Queen X?" I asked in disbelief.
" 'Course not, n00b," shot Zark. "She wuz WAY 2 l33t 4 us!"
"She haxored our whole planet…blew up all teh l33t warships…& sed Wii had 2 follow every 1 of her orders…or else she'd kill every1!" complained Zork.
"Yes, pleeze heer us, l33t Universe Master! Thank u Thank u Thank u! Now, if only sum1 could fix our planet 4 us…aw, who r Wii kiddin'? Teh Feds h8 us! No 1's gonna help us in a bajillion yeers!" sighed Zark.
"They sound so sad…" remarked Darkrai.
Zoroark quickly suggested to him, "Darkrai, they're Zark and Zork, some good friends of mine. They're Space Pirates, and they're good people. Why don't we help them out?"
"Okay…?"
Meanwhile, Chikorita was shocked. "Darkrai? What the heck is he doing here?" she exclaimed.
I finally lost my patience. "EVERYONE SHUT UP! Grovyle, let me explain! Chikorita, remember when Darkrai tried to escape through a Dimensional Hole, and Palkia attacked him? Not only did he lose his memory…he ended up right here! While you guys were getting the Air Ride Machines and Adam back, I saw him fall out right through that spot!" I pointed at the wall where Queen X previously opened up a portal to SR-388. "What I'm not sure is why all of you guys are alive all of a sudden. I thought Queen X infected you all."
"I believe I shall explain."
Right then, a portal opened atop the seats on the right side. Out of it came, in single file: Kel-Zich, Old Bird, Gray Voice, Platinum Chest, Essence Sight, Voices in the Stars, Shining Flame, Gandrayda, Celebi, and every single Chozo villager from Yamamori Village. Guess they decided to use their warp gate again. They activated floating platforms that four people could stand on at a time. Wow. They really knew how to use Galactic Federation technology.
Kel-Zich floated up to us (he didn't need a platform) and explained, "I can now say with certainty that Amy Vee Purima is Amy [you know who] in the future. That is why their souls were exactly the same. Apparently, her wish to stay with you all was extraordinarily powerful, and despite the fact that she was the Master of this Universe, her soul gained enough power to grant her that wish only when it was exposed. So her soul ended up choosing the one she wished to become most. I suspected that was the case all along. Now that it has come to pass, and Queen X is vanquished, her temporal and dimensional barriers have all been removed. The balance of the universe has been restored at last."
I slapped my forehead. "Of course…!" After all, Jigglypuff was still my most favorite Pokémon ever. Amy Purima never aged when she was a Jigglypuff. She'd still be 10 years old if she wanted to be a human, and now she—I—could switch between forms at will. Leader of Team Pecha, best friends with Chikorita and Grovyle, a total kick-butt fighter girl…of course I would've given anything to actually be her. Only I never knew that it was possible as a Master of the Universe.
Chikorita complained, "But, Kel-Zich! If you knew, why didn't you tell us?"
"Simple. I looked into the future, and I found that if I told you, it would have given you a false sense of security such that…Queen X would have killed you all. I shall leave it at that." Then I swore he smirked.
"…Oh. That works," she concluded.
Grovyle stammered, "But—but—but—but—but—if SHE—was the Master of the Universe—and became MY Amy—and together, we saved our world from permanent paralysis—then Queen X—when she infected them—she would've—"
Celebi interrupted him with a triumphant revelation. "So THAT'S why this whole universe began collapsing!"
"Yes. In the normal course of events, she would have lived her whole life in her home dimension and became Amy Purima when she died. I now believe it was this universe's failsafe system, in case anything like this were to ever happen to her," concluded Kel-Zich, glaring hard at Zoroark, who in turn gulped and cringed, chuckling weakly.
Grovyle argued, "But wait. She doesn't remember anything from her previous life, does she? Then it's like she still died."
"I believe that was also another failsafe system in order to prevent Queen X from discovering the truth. If she did, then she would've attacked Amy Purima instead, resulting in an early subjugation of the galaxy. And none of you would have had enough time to train for the battle against her."
He was still in denial. "And now she remembers everything again? How does that work out?"
I finally couldn't take it anymore. I've had it up to here with everyone denying what was so obviously the serendipitous truth right in front of them. I mean, come on! I worked so hard to give us all a happy ending; they could've at least had the decency to believe it instead of killing my buzz.
So I exploded, "How many times do I have to freakin' tell you guys? I'm not dead yet! I used to be Amy [you know who], but now I'm Amy Vee Purima! We ARE one and the same! She—I mean, I—didn't remember until just now! Okay, so I know this is weird—I mean, Tsubasa-type weird—I'll admit I was totally freaked out when I found that all this time I've been best friends with myself—but it's true, I tell you! It's true! You don't have to call me Big Amy or Little Amy anymore! I know—it really annoyed me too! From now on, I'm the true Amy, okay? Queen X was right about one thing...there was meant to be one Amy, and one Amy only. There always was."
I then turned to each of them one by one to prove my point. "Samus! During one of your first missions, you saved a little girl named Damara from being executed by the Space Pirates! That's something Amy Purima never knew, right?"
She paled. "No way…"
"Chikorita! I asked you what you thought of interspecies romance, remember?"
She gasped, "Amy [you know who]…!"
Speaking of interspecies romance… "And Grovyle! I…I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice." By this time, I was aware that all the alien diplomats had already returned to their seats. Celebi and Gandrayda were watching, too. But I was desperate to make sure that he was fully aware of the truth. I hopped on Chikorita's back and used it as a springboard to latch onto Grovyle's jaw. "Remember this?" And then I…*ack!*…opened the can of worms!
"Awwww…!" cooed lots of people in the stadium, especially Gandrayda.
"Eeeewww…" groaned the meanie-butts, Chikorita, Kirby, Samus, and almost everyone else.
"AAAAAAAAH!" shrieked Celebi. She then promptly fainted right on Gandrayda's head.
Finally, Grovyle couldn't take it any more. "Mmmph! Mmmph! Mmmmmmmmmph!" he wildly mumbled before he could finally pull me off. He gasped for air and exclaimed, "Okay, I get it! I get it! It's you!" He then hugged me, and Chikorita joined in, and so did Kirby. Everyone clapped and cheered.
When we all finally let go, I shouted at the audience (but mostly while glaring at Gandrayda), "And for the record, I'd rather eat worm guts than ever do that again!"
Awkward silence. One wacky-looking multi-eyed fish-like alien shouted out, "What are you talking about? Worm guts are delicious!" while grinning widely and licking his lips.
"What she's saying is that she meant that in the most platonic way possible!" added Grovyle. Everyone laughed. Right then, the Grand Councilwoman came in through some hidden door behind us…and I think even she chuckled. Didn't matter, though. We were together at last!
Right then, alarms blared in the room. Holograms popped up around the ceiling, and a voice over the loudspeaker blared, "Incoming warp! Incoming warp!" And right around where the holograms were, a portal opened. It was lined with multi-colored pulsating tentacles, and glowed in all the colors of the rainbow. I knew that look…but I couldn't believe it, either.
Out of the portal came…Arceus and Dusknoir! Dusknoir rode on Arceus' back and waved to everyone as Arceus majestically sailed down and settled down to our level.
"Arceus! Dusknoir! You're alive!" Chikorita and I shouted. We jumped up and down in excitement.
Dusknoir focused his gaze on me. "Allow me to explain. According to what Lord Arceus revealed to me, when you sacrificed your physical shell according to the Law of Equivalent Exchange for this Metroid's body,"—he gestured to Sporis—"your mass was far greater than that which was necessary for her, as you can see. The remaining mass became released in the form of revitalization particle emissions. They scattered across the diameter of the entire galaxy, and settled upon every being that the X Parasites had infected and killed, including us. I hypothesize that those very particles resided in your body for the sole purpose of such an action…so that no noble being would unjustly perish. Or at least, that's what you wished as Master of the Universe."
"AND AS SUCH, I MUST THANK YOU. I AM VERY SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU AND BELIEVING THAT IMPOSTER. CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?" asked Arceus.
I thought for a moment back to the incongruities between the movie and what I've learned in church. "Well…how about this, Arceus? If you promise to forgive all people for their sins—not just Damos, Sheena, Kevin, and Marcus—I promise to forgive you. What do you say?"
He smiled. "YOU REALLY ARE LIKE SHEENA. VERY WELL. I SHALL ACCEPT."
I still wasn't sure how he could've possibly confused me with Sheena (or where the real Sheena or Kevin or Michina Town was located in this galaxy, for that matter)...but I decided to let the matter slide for then. He was the Lord of Everyone and Everything on Planet Portania, after all. I had to show him some respect, too.
Right then, we heard a voice coming from a hidden passageway behind the wall to our left, saying, "And I, too, have to thank you."
We turned around. "Grand Councilwoman!" I gasped.
"I have listened in, and according to all of your accounts, it seems that I must thank you, Amy Vee Purima—or should I say, Amy [you know who]—for your efforts in saving my life and preserving the peace of this galaxy. I have several announcements to make."
She pressed a button and had her platform float right to us, riding on our Air Ride Machines. "Amy Vee Purima…Chikorita…Grovyle…Samus Aran…and Kirby? I hereby clear you of all criminal charges and exonerate you from execution."
"YAAAAAY!" Chikorita and I cheered.
"Samus Aran? In light of your heroic actions, I hereby revoke your employment termination status. It appears that your decision to crash the BSL Research Station wasn't as foolhardy as it seemed."
She bowed. "Thank you, ma'am."
"And as for Zoroark…?" She turned to her left.
He stood up straight and backed away, intimidated. "Y—y—yes, ma'am?"
"I shall give you, Darkrai, Zark, and Zork permission to rebuild the Space Pirate Homeworld…assuming, of course, that the Space Pirates would be receptive to our peaceful intentions?"
Zark replied, "Yes Wii r, ma'am!"
"Yeh…whut he sed!" added Zork.
"Adam Malkovich?"
"Yes, Grand Councilwoman?" We gasped as he appeared on a hologram right in front of her. He turned to us and replied, "Don't bother explaining, guys. I watched your whole battle."
"You shall take Commander Tierney's position as High Commander."
"Woohoo!" he cheered. "Take THAT, Commander Tierney! I hope my subordinates don't mind taking orders from a brain-in-a-computer. I'm kidding, I'm kidding! There are tons of brain-in-a-computers nowadays!"
Right then, another screen popped up. It showed a balding, elderly man about 62 years old, with sharp eyes—oh yeah! I knew him. He shouted, "What the—?"
*BEEEEEEEP!*
The Grand Councilwoman had a finger pressed on some button on the console in front of her, with an exasperated expression on her face as if she faced this kind of thing every day. "Please, ex-commander…Watch your language. There are children here."
"Who the *BEEP* cares? You can't do this to me, you *BEEEEEEP*!"
Apparently, she kept pressing the button that made that bleeping sound whenever he was about to shout a cuss word. Whoa…she was psychic! "Tierney, your performance has become unacceptable lately. You failed to take the necessary security precautions that would have otherwise prevented intruders from coming in, you were unnecessarily harsh, and you have continued to vent your anger out on your subordinates even after we gave you three warnings."
"Are you saying I should be a *BEEEEEP*-in' pansy? *BEEP* straight! I'm gonna get over there and *BEEEEP* all of your *BEEEEEP*-in' *BEEEEP*s, you *BEEEEEP*-in' *BEEEEP* *BEEEEEEEP*—!"
The Grand Councilwoman promptly turned off Tierney's screen, probably because not only was he overdoing the cuss words, but because I couldn't stop rolling around on my Slick Star, laughing like crazy. Hey, I couldn't help it! If I heard a normal cuss word, I'd shiver, but if I heard it bleeped out…well, the noise was just too hilarious!
Everyone else looked at me in an odd way, wondering what I was laughing so hard about. Finally, I calmed down enough to ask Adam, "…Mr. Malkovich? I'm guessing that was the real Commander Tierney, right?"
He just stared at me. "…Uh…yeah. Though he's now an ex-commander. And please, call me Adam. I mean, you've just saved the whole galaxy, Miss Grand Master of the Universe!"
"Is—" Another laugh burst out of me, and I slammed my mouth shut in response. "I'm sorry, Adam—Is he always like that?"
He though for a bit before answering, "…Pretty much."
I thought I heard the Grand Councilwoman whisper to a dinosaur soldier, "Make sure Tierney's taken to Detention Cell 45-10." She then turned our attention back to us.
Samus stepped forward and asked, "But what about Sporis?"
"You mean this newborn creature? Our scientists have requested the use of her abilities for those peaceful applications they were developing. Of course, they would have to earn your permission first. After all, I hereby allow you, Samus Aran, to be the official guardian of the Metroid life-form Sporis."
"Thank you, Grand Councilwoman!" She then turned to Sporis and whispered, "Isn't this great, Sporis? We can finally be together again!"
"Together! Together! YAAAY!" chirped Sporis, bouncing up and down.
The Grand Councilwoman had one more surprise announcement. "And finally…Dr. Jumba Jookiba. Come on out. We know where you are hiding."
We all stared as Jumba came up from below on a hover pod, previously hidden from view. He stammered, "Ah…yes. Of course you'd find evil genius hiding place, Grand Councilwoman. You have super-excellent x-ray vision that penetrates through titanium steel chamber and—"
"Enough of your sycophant flattery. Now in light of your confession that you created the beings known as X Parasites, we have originally decided to lock you up in maximum security prison."
I gasped and shot a dismayed look at the Grand Councilwoman, but couldn't say anything, either. How could I? I was stuck in another of those moral quandaries. On one hand, it might've seemed right to punish Jumba for making those little buggers in the first place that completely ruined Samus and the Chozo's lives, yet on the other hand, that was a really long time ago, and the fact that he actually helped me—twice—seemed to prove that he actually did have a change of heart, just like Darkrai and the three Z's. Was it really fair to do this to Jumba? Or would he go on to create something worse if we didn't stop him?
The Grand Councilwoman noticed me, but then smiled at announced, "However, considering the facts that you could not be held responsible for your rash actions back then…AND assisted Amy in her time of need…we have a proposition for you. If you promise to never create another illegal genetic experiment again, we shall grant you your freedom. Do we have a deal, Dr. Jumba?"
We were all stunned. So was Jumba. Then he cheered and shouted, "YES! Now I can continue work for Galaxy Defense Industries! Heheheheheh!" He collapsed on the hover pod in laughter.
Everyone in the audience clapped and cheered. The Grand Councilwoman pressed a few buttons on the console that allowed our platform to float back outside, while the Chozo and Kel-Zich got to float closer. Obviously, she would want to discuss the terms to welcoming the Chozo and Ylla back into the Galactic Federation, and I suspected that she and Kel-Zich were old friends. But we were ready to face the crowd outside waiting to welcome us. I smiled and hugged my friends again. "I love you guys," I whispered.
"I always did, too," replied Grovyle.
"Me too," added Chikorita. And we all knew we all meant that in the most platonic way possible. Finally, after all of that hard work and effort of ours…after everything we've ever endured…we've finally achieved a happy ending for everyone!
To be continued…
Coming up next: Wow. Amy Purima and I were the same person all along? Wild! But everything's not said and done yet! We still have to deal with the adoring crowd outside. Arceus has to show us what happens to me after this life. And we have to decide whether to live in the future or that past. No matter what we choose, though, rest assured that this universe will always find a way to balance itself out. Don't miss our final musical performance with all the aliens we've ever met as we all realize that We're All In This Together!