A/N: One of the story's angstier chapters, but you know how good novels are- They all have their ups and downs.
Kurenai's Web
Loneliness
The next day, it was rainy and dark. Rain fell on the roof of the barn and dripped steadily from the eaves. Rain fell in the barnyard and ran in crooked courses down the lane where thistles and pigweed grew. Rain spattered against Mrs. Nara's kitchen windows, and came gushing out of the downspouts. Rain fell on the backs of the sheep as they grazed in the meadow. When the sheep tired of standing in the rain, they slowly walked into up the lane into the field.
Rain upset Gaara's plans. Gaara had planned to go out that day and dig a new hole in his yard. He had other plans, too. His plans for the day went something like this:
Breakfast at 6:30. Skim milk, bread crusts, dango, bits from stray rice from onigiri, leftover pancakes with drops of maple syrup sticking to them, potato skins, leftover custard pudding with raisins, and bits of Shredded Wheat.
Breakfast would be finished at seven.
From seven to eight, Gaara planned to have a talk with Sasuke, the rat that lived under his trough. Talking with Sasuke was not the most interesting occupation in the world, but it was better than nothing.
From eight to nine, Gaara planned to take a nap outdoors in the sun.
From nine to eleven, he planned to dig a hole, and possibly find something good to eat buried in the dirt.
From eleven to twelve, he planned to stand still and watch flies on the boards, watch the bees among the clover, and the swallows dance in the sky.
Twelve o' clock- lunchtime. Dango, warm water, apple parings, meat gravy, carrot scrapings, meat scraps, stale noodles, and a piece of nori seaweed. Lunch would be over at one.
From one to two, Gaara planned to sleep.
From two to three, he planned to scratch itchy places by rubbing against the fence.
From three to four, he planned to stand perfectly still and think of what was it like to be alive, and to wait for Hinata.
Supper would come at four. Skim milk, rice crackers, a leftover sandwich from Kakashi's lunchbox, prune skins, a morsel of this, a bit of that, turnips, marmalade drippings, a little more of this, a little more of that, a piece of baked apple, and a scrap of okonimiyaki.
Gaara had gone to sleep thinking about these plans; but when he woke up and saw the rain, it seemed as though he could not bear it.
"I get everything all beautifully planned out, and it has to go and rain."
For a while, he gloomily stood indoors. Then he walked to the door and looked out. Drops of rain struck his face. His yard was cold and wet. His through had an inch of rainwater in it, and Sasuke was nowhere to be seen.
"Are you out there, Sasuke?" called Gaara.
There was no answer.
Suddenly, Gaara felt lonely and friendless.
"One day just like another," he groaned. "I'm very young, I have no real friends here in the barn, and it's going to rain all day, and Hinata won't come in such bad weather. Oh, honestly!" And Gaara was crying again, for the second time in two days.
At 6:30, Gaara heard a thumping sound, as if someone was banging a pail or bucket. Kakashi stood outside in the rain, stirring up breakfast.
"C'mon pig!" Kakashi beckoned.
Gaara did not budge. Kakashi dumped the slops, scraped the pail, and walked away. He noticed that something was wrong with the pig.
Gaara didn't want food, he wanted love. He wanted a friend- someone who would play with him. He mentioned this to Konan, who was sitting quietly in a corner of the sheepfold.
"Will you come over and play with me?" he asked.
"Sorry, sonny, sorry," said Konan. "I'm sitting-sitting on my eggs. Eight of them. Got to keep them toasty-oasty-oasty warm. I have to stay right here. I'm no flibberty-ibberty-gibbet. I don't play when there're eggs to hatch. I'm expecting goslings."
"Well, I didn't think you were expecting woodpeckers," Gaara muttered bitterly.
Next, Gaara tried one of the lambs.
"Will you please play with me?" he asked.
"Certainly not," said the lamb with a sniff. "In the first place, I can't get into your pen, as I'm not old enough to jump over the fence. Secondly, I am not interested in pigs. Pigs mean less than nothing to me."
"What do you mean less than nothing!?" Gaara countered. "I don't think there is such a thing as less than nothing. Nothing is absolutely the limit of nothingness! It's the lowest you can go! It's the end of the line! How can something be less than nothing? If there were something that were less than nothing, then nothing wouldn't be nothing; it would be something- even though it's just a very little bit of something. But if nothing is nothing, then nothing has nothing that is less than it is!"
"Oh, be quiet," snapped the lamb. "Go play by yourself. I don't play with pigs."
Sadly, Gaara lay down and listened to the rain. Soon after, he saw the rat climbing down a slanted board that he used as a stairway.
"Will you play with me, Sasuke?" asked Gaara.
"Play?" queried Sasuke, twirling his whiskers. "Play? I hardly know the meaning of the word."
"Well," said Gaara, "it means to have fun, to frolic, to run and skip and make merry."
"I never do those things if I can avoid them," the rat sourly replied. "I prefer to spend my time eating, gnawing, spying, and hiding. I am a glutton, but not a merrymaker. Right now, I'm on my way to your trough to eat your breakfast since you haven't sense enough to eat it yourself." With that, Sasuke the Rat, crept stealthily along the wall and disappeared into a private tunnel that he had dug between the door and the trough in Gaara's yard.
Sasuke was a crafty rat, and he pretty much had things his own way. The tunnel was an example of his skill and cunning. The tunnel enabled him to get from the barn to his hiding place under the pig's trough without coming out into the open. He had tunnels and runways all over Mr. Nara's farm and could get from one place to another without being seen. Usually he slept in the daytime and was active only after dark.
Gaara watched him disappear into his tunnel. In a moment, he saw the rat's sharp nose poke out from underneath the wooden trough. Cautiously, Sasuke pulled himself up over the edge of the trough. This was almost more than Gaara could stand- on this dreary, rainy day to see his breakfast being eaten by somebody else. He knew Sasuke was getting soaked out there in the pouring rain, but even that did not comfort him. Friendless, dejected, and hungry, he threw himself down in the manure and sobbed.
Late in the afternoon, Kakashi went to Mr. Nara. "I think there's something wrong with that pig of yours," he said. "He hasn't touched his food."
"Give him two spoonfuls of sulfur and a little molasses," said Mr. Nara.
Gaara could not believe what was happening to him when Kakashi caught him and forced the medicine down his throat. This was certainly the worst day of his life. He did not know whether how much longer he could endure the awful loneliness.
Darkness settled over everything, Soon, there were only shadows and the noises of the sheep chewing their cud, and the occasional rattle of a cow chain up overhead. One could imagine Gaara's surprise when out of the darkness, came a small voice he had never heard before. It sounded rather thin, but pleasant.
"Do you want a friend, Gaara?" it said. "I'll be a friend to you. I've watched you all day and I like you."
"But I can't see you," said Gaara, jumping to his feet. "Where are you? And who are you?"
"I'm right up here," said the voice. "Go to sleep. You'll see me in the morning,"
A/N: As I was writing this, I just realized how much this particular chapter ties in with Canon!Gaara's past. He was such a lonely little bugger before he met Naruto and the others. Also, I hope you guys don't mind that I made Sasuke into a rat, namely Templeton. Sasuke is the biggest killjoy I know. In fact, I think the stick in his butt is long enough to go through his future descendants to recreate another emo farm.
Anyway, don't forget to R & R!
N & B